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apricot-studies: smartstudy: Hey guys. I’m glad to be finally posting my “mental breakdown survival guide”. As you know I struggle a lot with mental health, and so I have been through a lot of breakdowns. So many that I actually dropped out of university after 3 weeks in 2016 and had to take the whole year off. Because of this, I’ve made it my mission to help others with mental health issues as much as I can, so you don’t have to go through what I’ve been through. Anyway, here is my guide. I tried to keep it general, and actually useful. If you have any questions or additions please feel free to add them. And as ever, if you want to talk to me about studying with mental illness or want to see a post on a specific topic, please feel free to message me. thank you so much for this : Saving Your Grades From A Mental Health Crisis What To Do Before, During, And After by SmartStudy.tumblr.com IF YOUR GRADES ARE IN IMMEDIATE DANGER CONTACT YOUR TEACHERS This should be the first thing you do when you realise you're in crisis. Email them, and explain your situation in short, professional terms. You do not have to include details about your condition. "I have a mental health condition" should suffice as to the nature of the issue. Tell them that you are going to arrange to see a medical professional as soon as possible, and ask what process you should go through to defer/get an extension on assessment, and if they can help you in any way. Other people you may have to contact or CC in the email (depending on your school): University High School Head of House Class Coordinator Faculty/School Admin Disability Advisor Grade Coordinator Head of Department Academic Admin Counsellor School Counsellor Student Advocate BOOK A DOCTOR/THERAPIST APPOINTMENT ASAP This will be the person who can vouch for you the most. It's best if you have seen them before and they know you. If you can't get an appointment within a few days, call them and email them (if you haven't seen them before this will not work). Make sure to check out what counselling your university or school offers. During this appointment, the priority is to make a plan to get you back on your feet. This effort will not be useful if you stay a mess. Once you've figured that out, get two things from this person. One is a medical certificate/letter stating that you have, in fact, been going through this crisis. Second is a letter that describes the nature of the crisis, what treatment you're going through, and which people to contact (psychiatrists, etc.) who can vouch for this. Note: The reason I say to get two letters is because there is still a huge stigma around mental illness, and you don't want to reveal that you've got a disorder that's highly stigmatised, only to have it come back and bite you in the ass later. Don't provide details unless it's necessary or asked for. A STUDENT KNOW YOUR RIGHTS AS Most schools and institutions will have a list of a student's rights and responsibilities online. Look them up. Know what your rights are as a student. Also look to see if there are state/national laws protecting you, or if your school is a part of a network of schools that has its own code. Some people working in schools still think mental health issues are trivial, and you never know when they're going to ignore a rule to suit themselves. Make sure you can pick on this if it happens to you. Pretty much all schools will have protection in place for students with mental illnesses and disabilities, so even if you a miss a deadline for a form or make another mistake, they should take your exceptional circumstances into account. This is where a student or disability advisor from school can help you. ottom IF YOU HAVEN'T REACHED CRISIS YET TALK TO A DOCTOR/THERAPIST/COUNSELLOR/TRUSTED ADULT If you're going through a hard time, talk to someone who can help you. Any trusted adult or professional can help you get back on your feet before it's too late, or refer you to someone who can. If it's a new issue, you'll have to see someone like a GP who can refer you to a therapist or mental health service. Talk to them about what's been happening, and say that you need help. Sometimes, even talking about the problem can help you feel better. In these situations, they can also help you figure out what you can do at school to catch up/get special help. FIGURE OUT HOW TO STUDY WHILE IN A BAD STATE Even if you're getting help, it might be some time before you're fully back on track. In these instances, try to make the best of a bad situation. Can't leave the house? Access lecture recordings and eBooks. Ask your friends to send you their notes, or ask the teacher if you can submit your homework via email, or through a friend. Have trouble concentrating? Figure out how long you can study without needing a break, and make a schedule around that. Always make sure to ask your teachers if they can help you with this. Whether it be slightly changing the requirements or conditions of a piece of assessment, or simply their understanding that you may not be able to attend perfectly, it can make a big difference with your overall marks. If they don't know you're struggling, they can't help! DON'T PUSH YOURSELF OR OVERTHINK When you realise there's an issue, it's easy to fall into panic or try to power through. Don't do this. It'll just make you more stressed and aggravate the existing problems, which will make things much worse in the long run. Though it's hard to believe sometimes, your health and mental health are more important than your grades. You can't ignore your mind when it's screaming at you that something is wrong. Listen to it, and be easy on yourself. The best way to get back to your full potential to ask for help and give yourself what you need. Take a break when you need one and practise self-care. It's more important than you might things. RECOVERING FROM A BREAKDOWN ACCEPT THAT YOU'VE BEEN THROUGH SOMETHING MAJOR Once the worst has passed, some people try to brush it off and pretend it never happened. They can feel ashamed or embarrassed about what they went through. However, there is absolutely nothing to be ashamed or embarrassed about, especially if you had a pre-existing mental health condition. Every life has ups and downs and just because yours were a bit more serious than some people's, it doesn't mean that you're weak somehow. The best thing you can do for yourself is to recognise what happened, and work to prevent it from happening again by setting up crisis plans and support networks. GET TUTORING TO CATCH UP If you've fallen behind, don't worry. There are plenty of ways to catch yourself up and get back on track. The best way is to hire a tutor. They can guide you through the work, help you understand difficult concepts, and identify the places you need more help. Yes, tutors can be expensive, but there's a way to get around this. See if there is anyone who took your class the year before who might be willing to tutor you for an hour each week for a discounted prince. Similarly, see if there are any students who can help you in exchange for something like instrument lessons. And if any of your friends are academically gifted, I'm sure they'd be able to help. If all else fails, go to office hours and any free tutoring sessions your school or university offers. Do some research, ask around, see what's there. PACE YOURSELF AND DON'T RUSH IN After a breakdown or crisis, you may be tempted to throw yourself back into your work to catch up. Don't! You'll become overwhelmed and end up back at square one. Remember, you've just been through a very difficult situation and you're not going to get better overnight. Ease yourself in. I definitely recommend starting with a reduced or part-time study load if possible. Remember that you may not be back at your full capacity just yet, and difficulties concentrating and being motivated could make things hard. By starting off slowly, you're able to get used to studying again without too much pressure. DEVELOP A ROUTINE Yes, this advice is in every piece of study advice ever, but you shouldn't develop just any routine. Develop one that allows you plenty of breaks and takes into consider any issues you may have with fatigue or focusing. If your breakdown was caused by overwork, make sure this one is easier on you. Things to include you could include in a healthy routine (but don't micromanage!): "I feel crap" time* Breaks and meals Plenty of sleep and rest "You" time (treat yo self) Time to plan for the next week Exercise (have you tried yoga? Kidding) Meditation/mindfulness Friend/family social time * Remember that the thoughts and feelings caused by mental illness are not shameful, and ignoring and forcing them down will only make them worse. If you need to lie in bed feeling miserable, do it. THINGS TO REMEMBER DON'T COMPARE YOURSELF TO OTHERS It can be easy to look at other people and see your own flaws, but it's important to try not to. Every person has different experiences and struggles, so it's not fair to yourself to look at someone without yours and think you're behind in some way. Taking longer to complete your studies isn't shameful. Making mistakes isn't shameful. Needing breaks isn't shameful. You'll get where you need to be in the end. Have patience. GRADES DON'T DEFINE YOU I spent so much of my life thinking my only worth came from my academic success. And guess what? This just led to more anxiety and depression. It's important to realise that things like grades, class rankings, GPAS, and "intelligence" aren't that important. Who you are and what you do is far more important than these arbitrary labels. THERE IS A STIGMA, SO BE PREPARED It's an unfortunate reality, but there is still a stigma against mental health issues and there is a chance it might affect your experiences while dealing with administrative staff and teachers. There have been stories about people telling their people supposed to be guiding them that they have mental health issues, and being dismissed because "it's a girl issue" or "it's all in their head". Be prepared in case this happens to you. Remind people that it's a medical condition and that you can get proof from medical professionals if need be. Plus, there is probably something in your school's policies or even the law that protects you when you have a mental illness. Remember that just because people are ignorant, that doesn't mean your issue is not 100% real and important. Don't let these people make you feel worse. YOU CAN DO THIS In our darkest moments, it can be hard to believe that we're capable of immense strength, but I promise you we are. Whatever obstacle is in your path right now - even if it's your brain chemistry - you are going to get through this. You've made it through every worst day you've had so far. You've made it through the dark and scary moments, and you've come out the other end stronger and wiser. Remember that you are strong, and even when you don't feel like it, there is always support available to help you realise that strength again. tmblimteom apricot-studies: smartstudy: Hey guys. I’m glad to be finally posting my “mental breakdown survival guide”. As you know I struggle a lot with mental health, and so I have been through a lot of breakdowns. So many that I actually dropped out of university after 3 weeks in 2016 and had to take the whole year off. Because of this, I’ve made it my mission to help others with mental health issues as much as I can, so you don’t have to go through what I’ve been through. Anyway, here is my guide. I tried to keep it general, and actually useful. If you have any questions or additions please feel free to add them. And as ever, if you want to talk to me about studying with mental illness or want to see a post on a specific topic, please feel free to message me. thank you so much for this
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mEn WaNt Me: Follow Found a trancel Twitter freakout that's just *chef's kiss*: I ask my straight cis women friends to turn down dates with men who won't date trans women and the responses I get are interesting and depressing. 4:52 PM · Nov 26, 2019 · Twitter for iPhone 11 Retweets 101 Likes Nov 26 It really shows you how little support we actually get from cis women. 27 2 53 Nov 27 Not sure that is a fair ask. There are differences between cis women and trans women. To say there isn't is denying the obvious. Having said that, I know men who only date trans women just because of those differences. · Nov 27 Wholesale differentiating a whole category of people on any of these differences either way is gross. Trans women are actual women means we're women. People who 7,820 notes are attracted to women can be attracted to trans women I know because it happens to me A LOT. I'm a fucking babe. 12 Nov 27 And when a man is way into me and can't stop texting me wanting to hook up, then ghosts on me when he finds out I'm trans? That's bullshit. The dudes are into me when they think I'm cis. what changed with me? Nothing! I'm still the person that guy was attracted to! 3 27 1 6. What these utter ignorant fools don't understand is that I have a vag that is a vag, it works like a vag and the problems I have with my vag are problems that anyone with a vag can have. 5:46 PM · Nov 27, 2019 · Twitter Web App 20 Likes Nov 27 I'm not chill about people just outright stating that l'm undateable or disgusting or whatever because all of a sudden my origin story turned out not cis. Dudes SALIVATE over me, I'm attractive. Why does being trans change that? Because transphobia and transmisogyny. It's simple. 4 19 Nov 27 Seriously you should see the messages on my phone. men WANT me. they beg. I'm a fucking babe. being trans doesn't change that fact. I'm fucking sexy and fine, it's okay to be into that. You got eyes. I got a rocking fine look. Look at me. Want me, let's do this. ♡ 11 Fuck my inverted penis or you're a bigot And now for the grand finale: I have a dress that says "dare to love a trans woman" and a trans woman comedian in Austin made fun of me while they were onstage for wearing it. They said "have you ever dealt with a trans woman, we're fucked up, I would never date a trans woman" and you know what fuck her. 11:10 AM Nov 30, 2019 · Twitter for iPhone 451 Retweets 5.2K Likes Nov 30 I made that dress in 2015. 27 5 880 Nov 30 And fuck the whole entire audience at queer mountain at cheer up Charlie's who laughed at me too. 9. 27 12 O 1.1K Here's another picture of the dress, P'll figure out how to share the pattern and lettering with instructions. DARE TO LOVE A TRANS VOMW Would gladly shake the hand of the comedian who mocked this guy's scrote couture What a mantrum. You're no more a woman than I'm a Velociraptor. Get over it, dude. Not even. You've got more in common with the raptors – at least they were female. 204 notes mEn WaNt Me
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The first message is what he sent to my friend, the rest he sent to me after she blocked him. He goes to the same uni, and wont leave her alone.: I was just trying to be kind with you, i wasn't even trying with you, but you didn't even let me say "Hi'" that you started screaming. You're too full of expectations towards me, you don't even realize that I'm just trying to be friendly, but sometimes it becomes impossible because when i look at you you keep being the most beautiful thing my eyes have seen since i came here, and this makes the things complicated, because sometimes the feeling that i have with you just becomes stronger than my will, andi end up saying things that i shouldn't say. I'm doing my best but it's hard to know that i still want you if i can't have you, it makes me feel like shit every moment that you're not here with me. I make mistakes because i need and i deserve a wonderful girl like you in my life. But I'm just trying to be friend with you, as you asked me, and believe me or not I'm just that gentle that you're confusing my intentions now. I just want to be friends because I'm not gonna blame you and I'm not gonna chase you if you don't want to stay with me. you in my life. But I'm just trying to be friend with you, as you asked me, and believe me or not I'm just that gentle that you're confusing my intentions now Look at this, i mean, how can she be so blinded to not understand such a basic rule of life: just appreciate who is appreciating her like I'm always doing. I wasn't even waiting for a reply and she blocked me again without saying anything, this is so childish, how can she be so unable to behave with life in the correct way? I don't get it. She's always running away from me like ifi did who knows what, and I really didn't do anything a single time, running away to go who knows where, if bet what you want she will never find any place where she will feel appreciated like she would be here with me. How can she be so stupid to not even give a reply to this? She will never find anyone else like me in her life, opened my heart two times to her and she broke it, this is not a way to behave if she's not doing the kindergarten. I was not even waiting for a reply, but what's the purpose of blocking me after such a beautiful message like this that nobody else will ever write for her? I could forget her, if we managed to keep at least a normal friendship. But how can i do it if she keeps being so childish and if she disappear like this making me suffering every single day because of this? It's impossi ble I'm fucked, cause I can't stop suffering The first message is what he sent to my friend, the rest he sent to me after she blocked him. He goes to the same uni, and wont leave her alone.
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