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Being Alone, Fall, and Love: vajeentambourine Your mixed feelings about your parents are valid. Shout out to people like me who have parents who are loving but are black holes of emotional labor... It took me a long time to realize that it's okay to have mixed feelings about your parents, about your relationship with them Sometimes parents can love you but be somewhat toxic to you and your growth and that's a very hard realization to come to if you, like me, grew up extremely close to them Sometimes parents can love you genuinely but lack emotional maturity, forcing you to perform disproportionate amounts of emotional labor. Some parents manifest symptoms of their mental illness in ways that are toxic to your mental illness Some parents, like mine, try so hard to be good parents but fall back on habits of emotional manipulation because they haven't processed their own traumas and are modeling behavior they grew up with. That doesn't make their behavior acceptable, and it's okay to feel exhausted and hurt when they betray you. You don't have to forgive every mistake. I want you to know that it's okay to protect yourself, to need some space apart from them. The love you have for your parents is still valid, and you are making the right decision Placing a safe emotional distance between myself and my parents has been one of the most difficult, heartbreaking processes I've ever gone through. it hurts to try to curb the strength of your own natural empathy around people you love. It feels disingenuous to your heart's natural state But I promise you, you are not hard-hearted or ungrateful, and you are not abandoning them. You are making a decision about your own emotional, mental, and spiritual health I know what it's like in that confusing grey area of love mixed with guilt and anxiety, of exhaustion and quasi-manipulation and unreciprocated emotional labor, and I promise you, you are not alone. Your mixed feelings about your parents are valid.
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Beautiful, Books, and Destiny: Classic case of Attention Deficit Disorder is the 19 year old female university student. They go off to university and everything starts to fall apart. It doesn't fall apart because they're partying too much or they're not mature enough [...1 It's because for the first time in their life that exoskeleton wasn't there Then things didn't go well and then they're left with this feeling of "lI'm not as good as everybody else, I'm not as smart as everybody else" [They] show up at the university health services and the psychiatrist says "well how long have you been depressed for?" And the psychiatrist has slid the young lady into the pstychiatrist's comfort zone of depression and anxiety fuckingconversations: pazdispenser: CBC made a good documentary on adult ADHD and part of it really caught me off guard because i swear they repeated verbatim my life story for the past 3 years full programme here: http://www.cbc.ca/natureofthings/episodes/adhd-not-just-for-kids My ADHD manifested in excellent in-class work. Excellent understanding in discussions. Excellent participation.  My ADHD manifested in piles of homework left undone until the last possible minute, while I stared at them, thinking; “I want to get these done. I understand the theory. It would take 10 minutes. I want to start, why can’t I start?”  My ADHD manifested in fantastic reading comprehension - nigh impenetrable focus on interesting topics the first time I’m reading about them.  My ADHD manifested in a complete inability to focus on reviews or re-reads, mind skittering sideways and away whenever anything was boring or repetitive. I sat down to study, my books open, my eyes on the text, and my brain clawing its way out the back of my head to focus on something else - anything else. Focus, focus! [No.] My ADHD manifested in Articulating wings half-finished but still beautiful, in beautiful lineart and half-hearted coloring. In stories written passionately for days until I forgot it existed and never returned. In projects started and forgotten and started and forgotten a thousand times until my bins of project supplies piled up and my bank account shriveled down. No, it will be different this time - I LOVE this new thing. This new thing is my world, my destiny, my Everything. I CREATE and CREATE and CREATE and never FINISH.  My ADHD manifested in confusion and surprise as time slithered away, hours passing like minutes and minutes seeming endless by contrast. An inability to gauge how much time had passed, was left, a task would take. An inability to hold dates in my head, because time didn’t feel consistent or even real.  My ADHD manifested in watching someone talk and not understanding a word they said - literally hearing sounds and translating out only nonsense. In thoughts so loud I couldn’t speak coherently. In a conversation across the room shattering an idea I was trying to hold. It’s hard to think when you’re already thinking about everything around you. 
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