🔥 Popular | Latest

Read me: Hi Hello hello! Lol what's up? All right enough chitchat, let's put our cards on the table. No, I've never swiped right before. No, none of these pictures are of me. Yes, I've been on the lamb since '09. I need to know if I can trust you I'm so confused Confused? No. Confused was what I was when walked into that bank brandishing my dads smith and wessun at the ripe young age of 16. The world doesn't forgive Chrissy. It's a cold, hard bitch What are you trying to get out of this conversation? 3 things: A. Can you provide asylum? B.can you cook? I am lactose intolerant. C. Do you love me Um I only just met you Listen Chrissy, I took a gamble on you. I need you to pull through or this could mean the end of the road for me. Let's see, do you know morse code? Also, you're going to need an alias. How about Brookfield? WHAT IS HAPPENING I go by the Salamander. am tall and I have black hair and very pale skin. I will be wearing a disguise when we meet. Look for the signal: will sneeze three times. You pretend to take a call. I will leave; you follow me at a reasonable distance. Is this understood, Brookfield? Yes? Excellent. Our rendezvous will be at this time tomorrow. We need to be out of the city by sundown. Can you drive stick? No I cannot This really throws a wrench in our plans, Brookfield. Not to worry, I'll drive, but be prepared to switch seats in the unlikely event that we are stopped by law enforcement. Side note, food should be prepared when we get back to your quarters, before we leave. What are you making? I will remind you, I'm lactose intolerant I'm still really confused. It means I'm allergic to dairy products. Please don't use any of them when preparing the meal. No I know what lactose intolerant means... But what's happening in general It's up to you, I'll eat anything as long as there isn't dairy in it. not about the food... Why are we having this conversation Don't get all philosophical on me, Brookfield. I needi you focused, sharp as a tack. Nimble, like a cat None of this existential mumbo jumbo means anything if we don't pull this off. PULL WHAT OFF Read me
Save
For sure its fine little job for little men.: SHORT MEN! - w4m Are you a shorter man under the height of 5"? Do you have a sense of adventure? Do you like trying new experiences? Are you available in the next few days? Text me and let me know! do NOT contact me with unsolicited services or offers o email to friend best of 1 Back Contact Today 9:31 PM Hello Hello! Who is this? This is Isaac. i'm responding to a personal you posted looking for a date. Do you have any pics? Hold on there, Isaac. Is this the post looking for a man under the height of 5'? yes is I have to be honest, Isaac. I'm not actually looking for a date. I'm looking to hire a shorter man for a single task, for about an 1 hour. Well Paid. Nothing Sexual and Completely Above Board. How much and what $250 Ok, what's the job? My young son, Andrew, keeps opening his bedroom window at night even though I keep telling him not to. It's full-on winter right now and he's blowing up the heating bill when he does it. So if you agree, I'm going to tell him that if he doesn't close the window, a fat evil dwarf will climb into his window and steal all of his toys. I have a ladder for you to climb up to the window and walkie talkies for us to talk When you start climbing into the window, make lots of panting/grunting sounds to wake Andrew. When I hear him yell, I will run into the room with a large broom and bug repellent which I will spray you with before shoving you out of the window with the broom. I have purchased a very large bean bag bed from Sharper Image that we will put under the window for you to fall onto (only about 15 feet). 12AM would be the best time as I know Andrew will be asleep. I can also providea written reference you may add to your employment portfolio. is This is real? Yes, Isaac. And I need results. For sure its fine little job for little men.

For sure its fine little job for little men.

Save
Are you in, or are you out?: Hi Hello hello! Lol what's up? All right enough chitchat let's put our cards on the table. No, I've never swiped right before. No, none of these pictures are of me Yes, I've been on the lamb since '09 I need to know if I can trust you. I'm so confused Confused? No. Confused was what I was when I walked into that bank brandishing my dads smith and wessun at the ripe young age of 16 The world doesn't forgive Chrissy. It's a cold, hard bitch. What are you trying to get out of this conversation? 3 things: A. Can you provide asylum? B. can you cook? I am lactose intolerant. C. Do you love me Um I only just met you Listen Chrissy, I took a gamble on you. I need you to pull through or this could mean the end of the road for me. Let's see, do you know morse code? Also, you're going to need an alias. How about Brookfield? WHAT IS HAPPENING I go by the Salamander. I am tall and I have black hair and very pale skin. I will be wearing a disguise when we meet. Look for the signal: I will sneeze three times. You pretend to take a call. I will leave; you follow me at a reasonable distance. Is this understood, Brookfield? Yes? Excellent. Our rendezvous will be at this time tomorrow. We need to be out of the city by sundown. Can you drive stick? No I cannot This really throws a wrench in our plans, Brookfield. Not to worry, 'll drive, but be prepared to switch seats in the unlikely event that we are stopped by lavw enforcement. Side note food should be prepared when we get back to your quarters, before we leave What are you making? I will remind you, I'm lactose intolerant I'm still really confused It means l'm allergic to dairy products. Please don't use any of them when preparing the meal No I know what lactose intolerant means... But what's happening in general It's up to you, I'll eat anything as long as there isn't dairy in it. not about the food... Why are we having this conversation Don't get all philosophical on me, Brookfield. I need focused, sharp as a tack. Nimble, like a cat. None of this existential mumbo jumbo means anything if we don't pull this off you PULL WHAT OFF Are you in, or are you out?
Save