πŸ”₯ Popular | Latest

Ass, Bless Up, and Bones: im on a dinner date what do i say shes so cute im so nervous Now see bruh women like to test men. Part of they mission on this earth is to set occasional bear traps for us to see what we say. A big part of being a successful grown ass man is SEEING the traps and walking AROUND them ☺️. One obvious trap is "do I look fat in this?" But that's a easy one. Like if u can't pass that test that's God telling u that u ain't ready for a grown woman yet and u need training wheels for a few more years before u get to that level of bicycle ridery lol. But see some bear traps are trickier. My favorite one is when u talking to a girl in her mid 30s and she hit u with that throwback pic from when she was 20: "OMG lol this came up on Facebook". MEN. STOP. BE CAREFUL. THIS SHIT LOOK INNOCUOUS BUT ISSA BOWL OF HONEY INSIDE A STEEL LEG TRAP THAT'S GON CLOSE ON U AND CRUNCH YO MF BONES UP, LISTEN. Here go the WRONG answer: "LOL HOLY FUCK! There go baby Kim! Lil 20 year old Kim lookin just about fine as FUCK! Look at them titties! Lookin all perky and shit! U prolly ain even need a bra for them miracle titties lol! And them thighs! Thick but no dimples on em FUCK. Look at that smile! Braces fresh off lookin like a LICK! LOL 20 YEAR OLD KIM COULD GET IT!!" Oh no. Oh hell no. *grandmotherly black dude voice* OH NO BAYBEH WHAT IZZU DOIN, LAWWWD BAYBEH. πŸ˜‚ Here's how she gon reply: "πŸ˜–", "k", "ew", "wow". U feel me? "Jeez". U GAVE THE WRONG FUCKING ANSWER BRUH. Lemme give u the RIGHT answer: "aw cute. You done glo'd the FUCK up tho - safe to say I met you at the perfect time 😍". Ok? That's a bear who saw the trap, did a small bear trap dance, danced around it, and lived to walk (and run! And dance!) another day. Ok? Copy and paste this response DON'T GET CREATIVE AND PUT IT IN YOUR "own voice" I DON'T TRUST YALL Bless up πŸ˜πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚
Save
Save
Birthday, Chill, and Funny: Just because your life is a joke, doesn't mean you're funny. ust because our life is joke, doesn t potterweekly All that time in hell, no wonder you have no chill. ✎✐✎ β†― β‡’ Small and sassy β†― β‡’ I'm like lowkey stressed out bc of all the internals I have due this week omg and I'm not going to be in class for a whole day because of Scholarship History which means I miss out on crucial class time rip me β†― β‡’ Please follow the tagged account! They're featured for the week and make great blended edits! If you want to be featured for a week on my account simply tag your posts to the hashtag :) ✎✐✎ Birthday(s) Of The Day πŸ‘‡πŸΌπŸŽ‚πŸŽ‰ β‡’ Please wish Zoe a very happy birthday in the comments! ✎✐✎ My Other Accounts: β‡’ @TheWizardWeekly - [ account for blended-video-aesthetic edits ] β‡’ @MarvelsWomen - [ co-owned Marvel account ] β‡’ @HPTexts - [ co-owned Harry Potter text messages account ] β‡’ @LumosTutorials - [ co-owned instagram tutorial account ] ✎✐✎ QOTD : Are you on break yet? If not, when do you break? AOTD : Ugh not yet, two more weeks of suffering before I get into two weeks of relaxed suffering (bc holiday homework has already lowkey been assigned omg)

✎✐✎ β†― β‡’ Small and sassy β†― β‡’ I'm like lowkey stressed out bc of all the internals I have due this week omg and I'm not going to be in class f...

Save