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(Update) It’s that time of year: Autumn Today 11 38 AM Sorry, I'm not really looking for a relationship, but I saw your name and really wanted to use this pickup line. You can call me Winter because I wont come until Autumn is finished. Alright, you can unmatch me now. LOL thanks for that The pleasure is all mine... well, I guess that pickup line says the opposite, but you get the general idea As long as it at least made you're day little better too, it was worth it Do you mind if l post it on Facebook? I'll crop your name & pic It was rly that impressive Yeah, that's fine. Word My Tinder game definitely peaked there. It was by far the best pickup line AND autumn joke I've ever heard My friend commented "ironic bc Washington just completely skipped autumn this year" Imfao I said "yeah story of my fuckin life" I'll make it up next and we can skip me until you ee come twice. Damn look at you You're on a roll What can I say, you bring out the colors in me Autumn Oh my god I'd rather you bring them out in me Well, there's a chance Autumn might come early for next year. I think that's all I got. I've heard the anticipation is the best part though Anymore and I wouldn't want you to fall for me. Hey now get too cocky here, I just like pickup lines I had to switch to "fall" for that one. Feel like an idiot That was too clever even for me It's alright, I'll leaf quietly I'm in disbeleaf Damn I can't think of anything else I'm trying Well, this went better than I thought it would actually. I thought you would have autumnatically unmatched me. АННН LMAO Don't trees me like that Whew, what a re-leaf There's no season for you to be acting this way Yeah, I'm burnt out. "autumnatically That was a pretty damn good one This has probably been greatest match I've ever gotten. I gotta say, I agree Mind if I post this on the internet for internet points? Do it, I did If I could send you screenshots of people's reactions I totally would (Update) It’s that time of year
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amkrii: akornzombie: siryouarebeingmocked: diarrheaworldstarhiphop: siryouarebeingmocked: friendly-neighborhood-ehrhardt: thes3nator: counterclockworkminds: the-dao-of-the-zerg: left-reminders: “Freedom of choice” under capitalism Hey now, that looks like nearly 50% of a color! Half a color worth of freedom. You can’t get that with the competition, which requires you to wear exactly one shade. We give you five different shades! Innovation, that’s what this is. Raw, capitalistic innovation. Now you’ve got a full half a color worth of freedom. So, I worked for a big name department store. I was happy when I came in and they said I could pick my own outfits, I just had to stick to ‘dark colors’ (dark blue, red, black, etc) and look business professional. Oh and only ½ print at most (printed top). Coming from a call center (I went into retail to help pay for college) pretty much all of my current clothes were fine. It was great! I even could wear my red dress that everyone loved because it was ‘on brand’.A few months in I find out that the only reason I could wear color at all was because of a state supreme court decision that said forcing only one color counted as a uniform, and that if it was a uniform the company had to pay. So across the river my fellow associates could only wear black, but whatever ‘business professional’ clothes they wanted.What a liberal dress code! /s How come we haven’t seen any walmart employees wear dresscode compliant fursuits yet? wearing a different shade of blue fursuit each day of the work week is direct action. Is there any petty, inane thing that people like OP can’t blame on capitalism? Yes, OP would tooootallyyy love to go into a walmart in a hurry and be fucking confused as to who to ask for help cus every employee wears what ever the fuck they want I somehow got confused for an employee all the time even when my uniform didn’t match the joint I was in. Heck, I got mistaken the other day, when I waited around in a food store for someone in my Sunday best, even though all the employees were in t-shirts.Me, not the person. They must’ve thought I was security. Huh. I’ve been at my weekend job, in my work shirt (black polo with the company name embroidered on the sleeve, with name tag) and had people ask me “ do you work here? ” “No. I just cosplay as a Wal-mart employee because misery is my kink.”: Walmart Dress Code Freedom of Choice Walmart Associate Dress Code Color Guide You have a lot of freedom when dressing for work. Here's a range of the dress-code compliant colors Tops Lightest Darkest amkrii: akornzombie: siryouarebeingmocked: diarrheaworldstarhiphop: siryouarebeingmocked: friendly-neighborhood-ehrhardt: thes3nator: counterclockworkminds: the-dao-of-the-zerg: left-reminders: “Freedom of choice” under capitalism Hey now, that looks like nearly 50% of a color! Half a color worth of freedom. You can’t get that with the competition, which requires you to wear exactly one shade. We give you five different shades! Innovation, that’s what this is. Raw, capitalistic innovation. Now you’ve got a full half a color worth of freedom. So, I worked for a big name department store. I was happy when I came in and they said I could pick my own outfits, I just had to stick to ‘dark colors’ (dark blue, red, black, etc) and look business professional. Oh and only ½ print at most (printed top). Coming from a call center (I went into retail to help pay for college) pretty much all of my current clothes were fine. It was great! I even could wear my red dress that everyone loved because it was ‘on brand’.A few months in I find out that the only reason I could wear color at all was because of a state supreme court decision that said forcing only one color counted as a uniform, and that if it was a uniform the company had to pay. So across the river my fellow associates could only wear black, but whatever ‘business professional’ clothes they wanted.What a liberal dress code! /s How come we haven’t seen any walmart employees wear dresscode compliant fursuits yet? wearing a different shade of blue fursuit each day of the work week is direct action. Is there any petty, inane thing that people like OP can’t blame on capitalism? Yes, OP would tooootallyyy love to go into a walmart in a hurry and be fucking confused as to who to ask for help cus every employee wears what ever the fuck they want I somehow got confused for an employee all the time even when my uniform didn’t match the joint I was in. Heck, I got mistaken the other day, when I waited around in a food store for someone in my Sunday best, even though all the employees were in t-shirts.Me, not the person. They must’ve thought I was security. Huh. I’ve been at my weekend job, in my work shirt (black polo with the company name embroidered on the sleeve, with name tag) and had people ask me “ do you work here? ” “No. I just cosplay as a Wal-mart employee because misery is my kink.”
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I guess angels are spooky.: What do angels actually look like per the bible? Well, according to Ezekiel 1 they might look something like this. According to Daniel 10 something like this. According to lsaiah 6 In Ezekiel 10 Again in Ezekiel 10. Basically, when the people writing Scripture tried to describe what they saw when they saw an angel they run into the end of their imagination..they can never quite seem to fully explain it because they had trouble even comprehending what they saw, let alone being able to descrbe it to someone else revelation19 REAL Yeah, that's usually how people responded to seeing thern in the Bible There's a good reason why angels' standard greeting is Do not be afraid lused to listen to this radio show and one thing remember because it was so funny was a Christmas special where an angel showed up to tell the shepherds about the birth of Christ. The conversations went: Angel: "FEAR NOT Shepherds: "screaming Angel: "ISAID FEAR NOT Shepherds: "screaming LOUDER Angel: "WHAT PART OF FEAR NOT ARE YOU NOT UNDERSTANDING So demons are fallen angels but they don't look scary because theyre fallen, that's just what all angels look like.. Maybe that's why so many Christians see visions of Saints or the Virgin Mary insteadlike Jesus is all..no, no see being human made me realize sending Angels might not be the best idea. Idon't know if humans can handle this. So 'm gonna just send mom IM GONNA JUST SEND MOM God: The humans are scared Mary: Fine Im on it. Jesus: It's either Mom or the thousand eyed flaming wheel, Dad, do you really think the humans are gonna be chill with that when they're terrified of spiders already? God: Hey now, some of those spiders eat birds JesusDad. God: -.To be fair, Australian wildlife was my dark creation phase Australian wildlife was my dark creation phase Source: revelation 19 I guess angels are spooky.

I guess angels are spooky.

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hey now: boo boo the fool Today at 9:27 PM i hate daylight savings it fucks me up i woke up at 12 and it was 1 Lil Hal BOT Today at 9:27 PM Hi Dave! Hi! In Australia! It's Oskaar here in Iceland. I got your email the other day, IT MADE ME REALLY FOCKING ANGRY! You know I get three hours of sunlight per day, EVERY DAY THREE HOURS! And you, are arguing about ONE HOUR! Guess what time it is. Look around.It's a beautiful day, in sunny Reykjavik at.. 20 minutes past three o clock! No I have- dmsvnffdf sorry dave, my my my camera is broken. I have to sit, for two hours, in front of ultra violent light! Thats so to to help my mind and my skins from being healthy. I drink this pfff lici. Do you know what lici is? Lici is oil from fish. I drink the fish shits two times per day! This stops me from being funny in the head. It's called sc- it's called... Heather, Dave, I want you do do this for me. I want you to show everybody in your silly(???) city some things that I do in my life. I'll take you for a journey. Come with me. Uh, this is what I do every day after I come home from work. I take my dog for a walk in this beautiful park here. Can you see? No you can't see cause it's focking too dark. Hey, you haven't seen my dog have you? Stalone, you know, Stalone, like the cliff hanger movies. Stalone! Hold on- STALONE! STA-LONE! Oh shit. H-hey, now I'm going on a journey to one of our famous beaches here in Iceland. A- FOCKING DOG SH- I'M ON MY ICELANDIC BEACH. HEY DAVE LET'S GO AND HAVE A SWIM WITH ME. AHAHAHA. I WOULDN'T SWIM IN THAT IF YOU FUCKING PAYED ME A MILLION DOLLARS. IF I COULD HAVE YOUR HOUR I WOULD RIP IT FROM YOUR- YOUR HANDS BEFORE YOU. BE HEROS. YOU ARE BE HEROS. SAVE- SAVE YOUR DAYLIGHT. SAVE IT.DON'T LET IT RUN AWAY IN FRONT OF YOUR FACE. Think about me Dave. Tell your friends. HEY- FUCKING BATTERY- STALLONE. COME HERE NOW YOU STUPID DOG
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iwouldservehim: amelietlikemysoul: vaspider: thebibliosphere: mojavejourneys: fancyladssnacks: reddragonsbreath: barrett-the-babe: caiusmartiuscoriolanus: incestiel: almostdiedthreetimes: feasibleweasel: autonomousartisan: demoniccupcake: the-guy-below-me-sucks: doctorfeelbad: couragemadnessfriendshiplove: world-shaker: Want to collaborate on a Google Doc with Nietzsche, Shakespeare, Dostoyevsky, Dickinson, Dickens and Poe?  Click here. Start typing. Enjoy the hilarity.  Ninja Update: Wanna see something fun? Mention Shakespeare in a sentence and see what happens.  Poe kept writing distinctly into my sentences so I wrote ”Edgar, you’re not funny” aND HE BLATANTLY DELETED THE NOT I AM SO DONE WITH THIS ASDFKJL OH GOD IF YOU TYPE “EDGAR ALLAN POE” POE ADDS A :( AFTER HIS NAME PRECIOUS BABY Oh my God so I typed ‘Shakespeare’ and Shakespeare butted in and wrote ‘The lovely and handsome Shakespeare’ but Poe burst in saying ‘The dreadful and lonely Shakespeare’. aND FYODOR DOSTOYVESKY ADDED ‘ I do not wish to make myself a laughing-stock before these idle listeners.” I’M DONE. Look what they did to All Star by Smash Mouth “Somebody once hushedly told me the world is going to roll me. I ain’t the sharpest tool in the shed. She was looking kind of glocky with her finger and her thumb in the shape of a “L” on her forehead. Well, the years start voraciously coming and they don’t stop coming; fed to the rules and I hit the ground running. It didn’t make sense absolutely to live for fun. Thy brain gets smart but your head gets dumb. So much to do, so much to behold. So what’s wrong with taking the back busy thoroughfares? In everything one thing is impossible: rationality. You’ll never know if thou don’t go. “You’ll never shine if you don’t glow”, he growled incoherently. Hey presently, you’re an All Star. Get your game on; go play. Hey now, you’re a Rock Star. Get the show on; get laid. As well as all that glitters is gold, only shooting stars break the mold. ~All Star by Smash Estuary of opinion…” Imagine putting your research paper in here and letting them go at it. OH MY GOD I WAS WRITING AND EDGAR WOULDN’T STOP FIXING THINGS SO I WROTE “Edgar shut up I’m trying to write” and he changed it to “Edgar shut up I’m meagerly attempting to write” THIS FUCKING ASSHOLE I typed in “Hello” and Shakesphere erased it and wrote “Begone with this rubbish.” HOW R00d I typed “party in the Usa” and Poe changed party to “ill-fated gathering” I just used it to yell at Dickens about Tale of Two Cities, I am happy now I typed in ‘hello other writers’ and Edgar Allen Poe changed it to ‘Hello secondary writers’ After I had been writing for a while Edgar suddenly deleted my last sentence and wrote “THE END.” rude son of a bitch I have to try this. Rebageled again but to add if the link above doesn’t work, try this one instead. I put my author bio into it and Edgar Allan Poe and William Shakespeare started fighting over the werewolf puns. I put in the first three paragraphs of The Bureau and Charles Dickens dubbed Tom a ‘swaggering scoundrel.’ … this is very fucking legit. I TYPED POE AND DICKENS WROTE “Edgar the ever tormented and woeful soul” and Poe just responded with :( Two of them were having a continuous fight over a certain phrase and I wrote “Stop that you dicks” and Poe and Shakespeare intervened and made it “Quickly cease that thou dicks”: Home Videos Untitled document File Edit View Insert Format Tools Table Help 6 other collaborators See what it's like to collaborate with famous storytellers. Admittedly, a few years after their prime. Share your collaboration Check out what else is possible once you go Google. iwouldservehim: amelietlikemysoul: vaspider: thebibliosphere: mojavejourneys: fancyladssnacks: reddragonsbreath: barrett-the-babe: caiusmartiuscoriolanus: incestiel: almostdiedthreetimes: feasibleweasel: autonomousartisan: demoniccupcake: the-guy-below-me-sucks: doctorfeelbad: couragemadnessfriendshiplove: world-shaker: Want to collaborate on a Google Doc with Nietzsche, Shakespeare, Dostoyevsky, Dickinson, Dickens and Poe?  Click here. Start typing. Enjoy the hilarity.  Ninja Update: Wanna see something fun? Mention Shakespeare in a sentence and see what happens.  Poe kept writing distinctly into my sentences so I wrote ”Edgar, you’re not funny” aND HE BLATANTLY DELETED THE NOT I AM SO DONE WITH THIS ASDFKJL OH GOD IF YOU TYPE “EDGAR ALLAN POE” POE ADDS A :( AFTER HIS NAME PRECIOUS BABY Oh my God so I typed ‘Shakespeare’ and Shakespeare butted in and wrote ‘The lovely and handsome Shakespeare’ but Poe burst in saying ‘The dreadful and lonely Shakespeare’. aND FYODOR DOSTOYVESKY ADDED ‘ I do not wish to make myself a laughing-stock before these idle listeners.” I’M DONE. Look what they did to All Star by Smash Mouth “Somebody once hushedly told me the world is going to roll me. I ain’t the sharpest tool in the shed. She was looking kind of glocky with her finger and her thumb in the shape of a “L” on her forehead. Well, the years start voraciously coming and they don’t stop coming; fed to the rules and I hit the ground running. It didn’t make sense absolutely to live for fun. Thy brain gets smart but your head gets dumb. So much to do, so much to behold. So what’s wrong with taking the back busy thoroughfares? In everything one thing is impossible: rationality. You’ll never know if thou don’t go. “You’ll never shine if you don’t glow”, he growled incoherently. Hey presently, you’re an All Star. Get your game on; go play. Hey now, you’re a Rock Star. Get the show on; get laid. As well as all that glitters is gold, only shooting stars break the mold. ~All Star by Smash Estuary of opinion…” Imagine putting your research paper in here and letting them go at it. OH MY GOD I WAS WRITING AND EDGAR WOULDN’T STOP FIXING THINGS SO I WROTE “Edgar shut up I’m trying to write” and he changed it to “Edgar shut up I’m meagerly attempting to write” THIS FUCKING ASSHOLE I typed in “Hello” and Shakesphere erased it and wrote “Begone with this rubbish.” HOW R00d I typed “party in the Usa” and Poe changed party to “ill-fated gathering” I just used it to yell at Dickens about Tale of Two Cities, I am happy now I typed in ‘hello other writers’ and Edgar Allen Poe changed it to ‘Hello secondary writers’ After I had been writing for a while Edgar suddenly deleted my last sentence and wrote “THE END.” rude son of a bitch I have to try this. Rebageled again but to add if the link above doesn’t work, try this one instead. I put my author bio into it and Edgar Allan Poe and William Shakespeare started fighting over the werewolf puns. I put in the first three paragraphs of The Bureau and Charles Dickens dubbed Tom a ‘swaggering scoundrel.’ … this is very fucking legit. I TYPED POE AND DICKENS WROTE “Edgar the ever tormented and woeful soul” and Poe just responded with :( Two of them were having a continuous fight over a certain phrase and I wrote “Stop that you dicks” and Poe and Shakespeare intervened and made it “Quickly cease that thou dicks”
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