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Apparently, Butt, and Crying: thetiniestbabby: copperbadge: hockeystix: cyrilthewolf: sortyourlifeoutmate: truckfondler420: a11madhere: shiftingpath: carry-on-my-wayward-butt: vergak: cuentosallaround: bigwordsandsharpedges: skypig357: Lmao modern art Okay, at this point there has to be something wrong with me, right? I’ve watched this 20 times in the last half hour, I still don’t know what they are saying half the time, but it doesn’t seem to matter because i’ve been crying my eyes out laughing for the entire last half hour … what the fuck is this from i gotta know it’s called letterkenny and it’s about a man who gets dumped and then goes on to shirk his pacifism and reclaim and hold his title as the toughest dude in the rural town of letterkenny ontario. every episode cold opens like this in increasingly bizarre ways. I read the bit about not being able to parse what’s being said and then I read the bit about it being set in this fuckin province, and I thought, like, what kind of accent could they possibly use that was so incomprehensible while still setting it in northern goddamn Ontario? and actually, okay, you know what, despite having lived immersed in it my entire life I’m not sure i’ve ever seen this exact accent on tv before, it is just weird to see actors using it My cousins grew up with the guy who wrote this show and is the main actor. It’s scary accurate for hick town Ontario (it’s based on the town of Listowel) and apparently some of the characters are based so closely on real people that they’ve recognized themselves while watching. ARE YOU GONNA FIGHT IN THOSE SHADES OR PLAY POKER STARS DOT COM Distribute some free literature. I lived near Ontario in rural NY and we picked up this sort of similar affect. It’s so scary how true-to-life this is in that area of the contintent I’m just gonna leave a link to season one episode one right here… annnnnnd here’s all of season one annnnnnnnnnnnnnd all of season two Don’t say I never did anything for ya. Enjoy glorious Canadian humor. SEASON THREE PREMIERES THIS CANADA DAY I AM PRETTY EXCITED ABOUT IT.  THAT WAS THE GREATEST ALLITERATIVE MASTERPIECE I HAVE EVER SEEN
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Books, Children, and Chill: sondsheim: bakuryobaku sondsheim reblog and put the highest library late fee you've ever paid in the tags Ok so the highest I have paid is $20 the highest I have is $5000 and still counting and I'm never going back to Louisiana again There's gotta be a good story behind that $5000 fine Ok kiddo's sit the heckety down and hold onto your hats and broomsticks. The year is 2006. The setting, hick- fuckville Louisiana. I am but a humble child sitting in my local library reading all of the books that my school library banned, but they kept in the local library to adults, so that way they can "warn them, becouse if your child is reading these books they are possessed by show tan. This is the place where I got my first copy of Ann Rice's "Interview with the Vampire" which had all if my favorite things, a male/male relationship, vampires, the Victorian age, and best of all half of it takes place in uck-hickville Louisiana (not to be confused with Hick Fuckville, Louisiana). I have by me all of the books on the "don't let your child read this or they will become a sodomite" list. I am fucking having a blast, when guess who walks the flip flopity right up to me. That's right Pastor AssFuck McGee. And he goes "child, these books are not for children." To which I reply by saying nothing, picking up each book and checking them out. I walk out if the library, and I decide. Fuck you pastor AssFuck McGee. I am gonna read all if these books. 1 month later, my parents decide it's time to move, again. I'm chill with this. I hate this town. I hate this state. And I hate Paster AssFuck McGee and I don't even go to his church, but Kasey who sits by me during lunch does and she says that he's a "bleepity bleeping dumb slut" and I don't know how Kasey knows that Pastor AssFuck McGee is a slut, but I trust her opinion on it, and while I normally don't shame people for their sex lives I was willing to make an exception just for Pastor AssFuck McGee However, if we move I have to return my library books But I can't. I haven't finished reading all fucking 23 books, 2 magazines, and the informational pamphlet on th control. So I decided I hated Pastor AssFuck McGee and loved books more than I cared about the law. So l packed all of the library books up and move with them. I said fuck it. I'm gonna steal all of this. I was sure as fuck about to commit my first felony. We move to Arizona. I get enrolled into a new school one day in the snazy new computer lab I boot up the computer, that terrible fucking dial up noise hurts my ears and I'm convinced God isn't real, becouse if he was he wouldn't allow for that God awful fucking noise. I sign on to my AOL. I have an email. It's from the library in Louisiana. My books are late. I delete the email. I delete the email every week when they send it out. Fast forward too late 2016. I am feeling the nostalgic, I decide to log into my old AOL account I have been on it in over 5 years. I am stunned. I have an email. My books are late. I owe around $5000. I sighn out of my AOL. I never sighn back in. I go to bed that night and I whisper. "Fuck you Pastor AssFuck McGee. mes in this story have been changed to protect individuals) (Na The story of a library fine [x-post r/almostpoetry]
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