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So I鈥檓 at a holiday party right. Next to me is a woman 43 years old fam she didn鈥檛 look older than 25. Drop dead gorgeous. And here鈥檚 this cosmetic surgeon saying he finnta do a procedure that eliminate these tiny a$$ wrinkles under he eyes and she was being polite but really wasn鈥檛 interested and bro I wanted to clock this ugly hair implant MF 馃槀. Like how u gon tell a woman at a party u gon upgrade her! Fam! She already a dime! Heck u gon upgrade?! Another lil homegirl of mine she just plain Barbie - put her lil a$$ in a pair of shorts and a corvette with Ken with the PP missin and bam, Barbie. She go to a 鈥榗osmetic dentist鈥 this MF said she has buck teeth. Lemme tell u...this cosmetic industry satanic 馃槀. They really lying to u women. Will a barber ever say u DONT need a haircut? Nah - or else he gon go broke! Same. These dudes gon make u feel like something wrong when u already perfect! 鈥淚鈥檒l fix those stretch marks鈥 OVER MY DEAD BODY Dr. FESSENJAN PULL A SCALPEL AND IMMA STAB U WITH IT. DONT BODY YA SELF 馃槀. 鈥淪mash we know u lying about the body positive thing to attract thick women鈥 WELL BISH GIVE ME A PP DETECTOR TEST. Put some grey sweatpants on me. Turn around. Pull ya yoga pants down below them cheeks, show me them skretch marks. If I ain鈥檛 pitching a full tent, stab me 馃槀. 鈥渨ow - you鈥檙e really making all the women who had surgery feel bad, we knew u were a Sh!thead.鈥 Well hang on now. If YOU want it, YOU get it! I support that! U wanna get your nose shaped - do you! A$$ shots - do u! BA - do u! BUT DONT LET THE COSMETIC INDUSTRY GUIDE U. THEY GON LIE TO U AND MAKE U FIX SOMETHING THAT DONT NEED FIXING. THEY NEED TO - OR ELSE THEY GON GO OUT OF BUSINESS. LOVE YOURSELF (like I love you 馃槉). IF U WANNA DO SOMETHING FOR U THEN DO IT BUT DONT LET NOBODY WITH A PP TALK U INTO SOME SH!T LMAO BLESS UP 馃槏馃槀馃槀: This is how she looks every time we're cooking and not giving her anything So I鈥檓 at a holiday party right. Next to me is a woman 43 years old fam she didn鈥檛 look older than 25. Drop dead gorgeous. And here鈥檚 this cosmetic surgeon saying he finnta do a procedure that eliminate these tiny a$$ wrinkles under he eyes and she was being polite but really wasn鈥檛 interested and bro I wanted to clock this ugly hair implant MF 馃槀. Like how u gon tell a woman at a party u gon upgrade her! Fam! She already a dime! Heck u gon upgrade?! Another lil homegirl of mine she just plain Barbie - put her lil a$$ in a pair of shorts and a corvette with Ken with the PP missin and bam, Barbie. She go to a 鈥榗osmetic dentist鈥 this MF said she has buck teeth. Lemme tell u...this cosmetic industry satanic 馃槀. They really lying to u women. Will a barber ever say u DONT need a haircut? Nah - or else he gon go broke! Same. These dudes gon make u feel like something wrong when u already perfect! 鈥淚鈥檒l fix those stretch marks鈥 OVER MY DEAD BODY Dr. FESSENJAN PULL A SCALPEL AND IMMA STAB U WITH IT. DONT BODY YA SELF 馃槀. 鈥淪mash we know u lying about the body positive thing to attract thick women鈥 WELL BISH GIVE ME A PP DETECTOR TEST. Put some grey sweatpants on me. Turn around. Pull ya yoga pants down below them cheeks, show me them skretch marks. If I ain鈥檛 pitching a full tent, stab me 馃槀. 鈥渨ow - you鈥檙e really making all the women who had surgery feel bad, we knew u were a Sh!thead.鈥 Well hang on now. If YOU want it, YOU get it! I support that! U wanna get your nose shaped - do you! A$$ shots - do u! BA - do u! BUT DONT LET THE COSMETIC INDUSTRY GUIDE U. THEY GON LIE TO U AND MAKE U FIX SOMETHING THAT DONT NEED FIXING. THEY NEED TO - OR ELSE THEY GON GO OUT OF BUSINESS. LOVE YOURSELF (like I love you 馃槉). IF U WANNA DO SOMETHING FOR U THEN DO IT BUT DONT LET NOBODY WITH A PP TALK U INTO SOME SH!T LMAO BLESS UP 馃槏馃槀馃槀
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SHOUT TO ALL U GIRLS TRYINA SQUEEZE INTO HOLIDAY DRESSES AND IT FIT TIGHT BECAUSE U BEEN EATING GOOD - 鈥渁ye smash do I look fat in this?鈥 BISH U LOOK THICKER THAN A SNICKER AND BETTER CHILL 鈥渙k but will it look hootchie? 馃鈥 AFTER AMBER ROSE鈥檚 SLVTWALK WE DONT SHAME HOOTCHIE WE EMBRACE HOOTCHIE LET THEM THIGHS AND HIPS SHOW COT DAMMIT THIS AMERICA YEEN GOTTA WEAR A BURQA U CAN LOOK DELICIOUS AT A HOLIDAY PARTY AND FEEL YASELF WEAR 馃憦 THE 馃憦 DAMN 馃憦 DRESS 馃憦 BLESS UP 馃槏 [鈥渟mash should I at least wear a corset that is being sold by my favorite 鈥榰rban model鈥 on IG with 300k followers? 馃鈥 YA DONT NEED NO DAMN CORSET I AM MAD I EVEN HAVE TO SAY THIS, THAT IS A RELIC OF VICTORIAN SOCIETY THAT WE SHOULD HAVE LEFT IN VICTORIA BTW THEY AINT EVEN BATHE BACC THEN IT WAS A DIFFERENT TIME PEOPLE DIED OF POTATO FAMINE AND ISHT WE IN A DIFFERENT PLACE NOW AS HUMANS LET THAT LIL BELLY (I call it a landing pad 鈽猴笍) SHOW BLESS UP 馃槏馃槀馃槀] (Slide 2: @henrythecoloradodog . Slide 3: reddit u-fenhuishiqz6): I will sing you the song of my people @DrSmashlove SHOUT TO ALL U GIRLS TRYINA SQUEEZE INTO HOLIDAY DRESSES AND IT FIT TIGHT BECAUSE U BEEN EATING GOOD - 鈥渁ye smash do I look fat in this?鈥 BISH U LOOK THICKER THAN A SNICKER AND BETTER CHILL 鈥渙k but will it look hootchie? 馃鈥 AFTER AMBER ROSE鈥檚 SLVTWALK WE DONT SHAME HOOTCHIE WE EMBRACE HOOTCHIE LET THEM THIGHS AND HIPS SHOW COT DAMMIT THIS AMERICA YEEN GOTTA WEAR A BURQA U CAN LOOK DELICIOUS AT A HOLIDAY PARTY AND FEEL YASELF WEAR 馃憦 THE 馃憦 DAMN 馃憦 DRESS 馃憦 BLESS UP 馃槏 [鈥渟mash should I at least wear a corset that is being sold by my favorite 鈥榰rban model鈥 on IG with 300k followers? 馃鈥 YA DONT NEED NO DAMN CORSET I AM MAD I EVEN HAVE TO SAY THIS, THAT IS A RELIC OF VICTORIAN SOCIETY THAT WE SHOULD HAVE LEFT IN VICTORIA BTW THEY AINT EVEN BATHE BACC THEN IT WAS A DIFFERENT TIME PEOPLE DIED OF POTATO FAMINE AND ISHT WE IN A DIFFERENT PLACE NOW AS HUMANS LET THAT LIL BELLY (I call it a landing pad 鈽猴笍) SHOW BLESS UP 馃槏馃槀馃槀] (Slide 2: @henrythecoloradodog . Slide 3: reddit u-fenhuishiqz6)

SHOUT TO ALL U GIRLS TRYINA SQUEEZE INTO HOLIDAY DRESSES AND IT FIT TIGHT BECAUSE U BEEN EATING GOOD - 鈥渁ye smash do I look fat in this?鈥...

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On the path to being grown and sexy all women will go thru a cheese, cracker, grape and apricot platter phase. I see u, baby girl. Grown. Mature. Sophisticated. Appetizer looking like a still life painting. Put out some red wine, bam. Now u a grown and sexy hostess. U hit some bumps on the way here but u here now. U made it. U serving an appetizer that looks aesthetically wondrous. However there is one, small problem. Just one. U ready? NOBODY WANT CRACKERS AND CHEESE BRUV, YUCK LMAO. Let me upgrade u. U wanna serve something everyone will rave about? U wanna serve something people will love with all they heart? U wanna be the Belle of the MF Ball? HUMMUS AND GUACAMOLE. Do not over complicate this. Do not get creative. Do not ruin a perfect thing. Hummus...and guac. In two separate bowls. In between? Them thin crispy salty tortilla chips and if u really can鈥檛 fight the urge to be fancy, some veggies to dip. That鈥檚 it. 鈥淲ow the Camembert in that cheese, cracker, grape and apricot platter was absolutely delectable鈥 - no human being, ever. 鈥淥MG I COULD BATHE IN GUAC. AND HUMMUS. LIKE LITERALLY BATHE ME IN A VAT OF GUAC AND HUMMUS AND RUB IT ON MY CHEST AND SHAMPOO MY HAIR WITH IT LOL DAMN IT鈥橲 GONE.....OMG AMANDA BROUGHT OUT MORE SORRY BRB 鈽猴笍.鈥 - everyone. Guac and hummus. U could be the worst cook ever - don鈥檛 een matter - all the guests already gon be full off of guac. And hummus 馃. Aight? I just upgraded u. When u host the best holiday party ever next week and nobody can een explain why and they just speechless like 鈥淎MANDA OMG THIS PARTY WAS AMAZING U R MARTHA STEWART LOL鈥 just do me one favor. Just one. Say 鈥渟mashy taught me鈥 BLESS UP 馃槏馃槀馃槀馃槀: New pupper meets old soul. Pic: reddit u/Scotty367 @DrSmashlove On the path to being grown and sexy all women will go thru a cheese, cracker, grape and apricot platter phase. I see u, baby girl. Grown. Mature. Sophisticated. Appetizer looking like a still life painting. Put out some red wine, bam. Now u a grown and sexy hostess. U hit some bumps on the way here but u here now. U made it. U serving an appetizer that looks aesthetically wondrous. However there is one, small problem. Just one. U ready? NOBODY WANT CRACKERS AND CHEESE BRUV, YUCK LMAO. Let me upgrade u. U wanna serve something everyone will rave about? U wanna serve something people will love with all they heart? U wanna be the Belle of the MF Ball? HUMMUS AND GUACAMOLE. Do not over complicate this. Do not get creative. Do not ruin a perfect thing. Hummus...and guac. In two separate bowls. In between? Them thin crispy salty tortilla chips and if u really can鈥檛 fight the urge to be fancy, some veggies to dip. That鈥檚 it. 鈥淲ow the Camembert in that cheese, cracker, grape and apricot platter was absolutely delectable鈥 - no human being, ever. 鈥淥MG I COULD BATHE IN GUAC. AND HUMMUS. LIKE LITERALLY BATHE ME IN A VAT OF GUAC AND HUMMUS AND RUB IT ON MY CHEST AND SHAMPOO MY HAIR WITH IT LOL DAMN IT鈥橲 GONE.....OMG AMANDA BROUGHT OUT MORE SORRY BRB 鈽猴笍.鈥 - everyone. Guac and hummus. U could be the worst cook ever - don鈥檛 een matter - all the guests already gon be full off of guac. And hummus 馃. Aight? I just upgraded u. When u host the best holiday party ever next week and nobody can een explain why and they just speechless like 鈥淎MANDA OMG THIS PARTY WAS AMAZING U R MARTHA STEWART LOL鈥 just do me one favor. Just one. Say 鈥渟mashy taught me鈥 BLESS UP 馃槏馃槀馃槀馃槀

On the path to being grown and sexy all women will go thru a cheese, cracker, grape and apricot platter phase. I see u, baby girl. Grown....

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