From
From

From

I Died
I Died

I Died

The
The

The

I Need This
I Need This

I Need This

strips
strips

strips

not really
 not really

not really

holidays
 holidays

holidays

christmas spirit
 christmas spirit

christmas spirit

career
career

career

weekender
weekender

weekender

๐Ÿ”ฅ Popular | Latest

Bad, Barber, and Barbie: This is how she looks every time we're cooking and not giving her anything So Iโ€™m at a holiday party right. Next to me is a woman 43 years old fam she didnโ€™t look older than 25. Drop dead gorgeous. And hereโ€™s this cosmetic surgeon saying he finnta do a procedure that eliminate these tiny a$$ wrinkles under he eyes and she was being polite but really wasnโ€™t interested and bro I wanted to clock this ugly hair implant MF ๐Ÿ˜‚. Like how u gon tell a woman at a party u gon upgrade her! Fam! She already a dime! Heck u gon upgrade?! Another lil homegirl of mine she just plain Barbie - put her lil a$$ in a pair of shorts and a corvette with Ken with the PP missin and bam, Barbie. She go to a โ€˜cosmetic dentistโ€™ this MF said she has buck teeth. Lemme tell u...this cosmetic industry satanic ๐Ÿ˜‚. They really lying to u women. Will a barber ever say u DONT need a haircut? Nah - or else he gon go broke! Same. These dudes gon make u feel like something wrong when u already perfect! โ€œIโ€™ll fix those stretch marksโ€ OVER MY DEAD BODY Dr. FESSENJAN PULL A SCALPEL AND IMMA STAB U WITH IT. DONT BODY YA SELF ๐Ÿ˜‚. โ€œSmash we know u lying about the body positive thing to attract thick womenโ€ WELL BISH GIVE ME A PP DETECTOR TEST. Put some grey sweatpants on me. Turn around. Pull ya yoga pants down below them cheeks, show me them skretch marks. If I ainโ€™t pitching a full tent, stab me ๐Ÿ˜‚. โ€œwow - youโ€™re really making all the women who had surgery feel bad, we knew u were a Sh!thead.โ€ Well hang on now. If YOU want it, YOU get it! I support that! U wanna get your nose shaped - do you! A$$ shots - do u! BA - do u! BUT DONT LET THE COSMETIC INDUSTRY GUIDE U. THEY GON LIE TO U AND MAKE U FIX SOMETHING THAT DONT NEED FIXING. THEY NEED TO - OR ELSE THEY GON GO OUT OF BUSINESS. LOVE YOURSELF (like I love you ๐Ÿ˜Š). IF U WANNA DO SOMETHING FOR U THEN DO IT BUT DONT LET NOBODY WITH A PP TALK U INTO SOME SH!T LMAO BLESS UP ๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚
Bless Up, Guacamole, and Life: New pupper meets old soul. Pic: reddit u/Scotty367 @DrSmashlove On the path to being grown and sexy all women will go thru a cheese, cracker, grape and apricot platter phase. I see u, baby girl. Grown. Mature. Sophisticated. Appetizer looking like a still life painting. Put out some red wine, bam. Now u a grown and sexy hostess. U hit some bumps on the way here but u here now. U made it. U serving an appetizer that looks aesthetically wondrous. However there is one, small problem. Just one. U ready? NOBODY WANT CRACKERS AND CHEESE BRUV, YUCK LMAO. Let me upgrade u. U wanna serve something everyone will rave about? U wanna serve something people will love with all they heart? U wanna be the Belle of the MF Ball? HUMMUS AND GUACAMOLE. Do not over complicate this. Do not get creative. Do not ruin a perfect thing. Hummus...and guac. In two separate bowls. In between? Them thin crispy salty tortilla chips and if u really canโ€™t fight the urge to be fancy, some veggies to dip. Thatโ€™s it. โ€œWow the Camembert in that cheese, cracker, grape and apricot platter was absolutely delectableโ€ - no human being, ever. โ€œOMG I COULD BATHE IN GUAC. AND HUMMUS. LIKE LITERALLY BATHE ME IN A VAT OF GUAC AND HUMMUS AND RUB IT ON MY CHEST AND SHAMPOO MY HAIR WITH IT LOL DAMN ITโ€™S GONE.....OMG AMANDA BROUGHT OUT MORE SORRY BRB โ˜บ๏ธ.โ€ - everyone. Guac and hummus. U could be the worst cook ever - donโ€™t een matter - all the guests already gon be full off of guac. And hummus ๐Ÿค—. Aight? I just upgraded u. When u host the best holiday party ever next week and nobody can een explain why and they just speechless like โ€œAMANDA OMG THIS PARTY WAS AMAZING U R MARTHA STEWART LOLโ€ just do me one favor. Just one. Say โ€œsmashy taught meโ€ BLESS UP ๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚

On the path to being grown and sexy all women will go thru a cheese, cracker, grape and apricot platter phase. I see u, baby girl. Grown. Ma...