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Not sure if people remember this one but: - *driving home after a long day* "Momma, can we get McDonalds?" "Do you got Mc-" "DONT EVEN SAY NOTHING TO ME BOYYYYYY." "We got plenty to eat a home anyway." "I've been eating that meatloaf hologram for 3 days straight and I've lost 7 pounds. Please." "I'll think about it." *raises false hope* *approaches McDonalds* *anxiety peaks* *drives past it* *stares at it as it gets smaller and smaller* *tears silently roll down face* "You better not be crying back there." *thinks about running away* "I told yo ass we got food at home." *arrives at home* "I'm going to bed, don't bother me." *mom goes to bed* *walks back into kitchen* *opens refrigerator* *eggs, ketchup, bologna, a bottle of water* *throws a silent tantrum* "Fuck this and fuck you." *goes back to room and grabs bookbag* *stuffs clothes into it* *marches back to kitchen* *opens refrige- "Holup, THERE AINT NO FUCKING FOOD TO EVEN TAKE!" *swings backpack into the window* *glass shatters* *tries to jump out, cuts leg open on glass* *falls face-first on the concrete* *goes unconscious*: DEATHWISH @lorddthisdick I don't trust no nigga that wear basketball shorts under their pants 1/28/18, 1:56 AM View Tweet activity 108 Retweets 273 Likes busy boy @bashfuLbert 1/28/18 Replying to @lorddthisdick its convenient, and u can get crossed @ Not sure if people remember this one but: - *driving home after a long day* "Momma, can we get McDonalds?" "Do you got Mc-" "DONT EVEN SAY NOTHING TO ME BOYYYYYY." "We got plenty to eat a home anyway." "I've been eating that meatloaf hologram for 3 days straight and I've lost 7 pounds. Please." "I'll think about it." *raises false hope* *approaches McDonalds* *anxiety peaks* *drives past it* *stares at it as it gets smaller and smaller* *tears silently roll down face* "You better not be crying back there." *thinks about running away* "I told yo ass we got food at home." *arrives at home* "I'm going to bed, don't bother me." *mom goes to bed* *walks back into kitchen* *opens refrigerator* *eggs, ketchup, bologna, a bottle of water* *throws a silent tantrum* "Fuck this and fuck you." *goes back to room and grabs bookbag* *stuffs clothes into it* *marches back to kitchen* *opens refrige- "Holup, THERE AINT NO FUCKING FOOD TO EVEN TAKE!" *swings backpack into the window* *glass shatters* *tries to jump out, cuts leg open on glass* *falls face-first on the concrete* *goes unconscious*
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Dumbass πŸ’€ - *gets in car with friend* "Wassup bro." "..." *he puts car in drive* "Aye you good?" "She broke up with me." *instantly regrets getting in car* "Aye man it's not that serio-" "10 YEARS!!! 10 YEARS WE WERE DATING. AND THEN WHEN I PROPOSED TO HER-" "You PROPOSED?" "-SHE SAID 'Were like brother and sister.' LIKE WHAT THE FUCK BRO?" "That cause you are brother and sis-" "AND WHEN I TRY TO CALL HER, SHE DOESNT ANSWER HER PHONE OR TEXTS!" "Don't y'all live togeth-" *car flies through a red light* "Aye bro just clam down. Don't do anything rash." "RASH? THE BITCH GAVE ME AN STD TOO! AN UNCURABLE ONE AT THAT!" "Holup what-" "AND THE PRICE FOR THE MEDICINE IS FUCKING INSANE BRO! I SHOULD JUST FUCKING END IT ALL RIGHT NOW, HUH?!" *car swerves into oncoming traffic* "AYE BRO CHILLLLLL!" *I grab the steering wheel* *goes back into the correct lane* *friend is crying now* *I pull over somehow* "Just let me drive, bruh." *switches seats and continues driving* "I loved her man. I really did. How could she do this to me." "Well, considering she's your sist-" "All the time I've spent with her, gone to waste." "Look man-" "I dont need your sympathy right now." "I'm not giving you sympathy dickhead you almost killed me-" "From now on, I'm gay." "Wait, what the fuck did you just say?" *puts his hand on my thigh* "You don't want to do this." "I've been eyeing you for a long ass time, bro. I fantasize about you all day. I can see our kids faces now..." "WE ARE BOTH DUDES. WE CANT GET PREGNANT!" "You're so close minded, I like that." *licks my ear* *thoughts of suicide fill my head* "DUDE STOP TOUCHING ME!" *car honks at us* "SORRY! HEY, DONT TOUCH ME THERE BRO I SWEAR TO GOD!" *goes for my zipper* *karate chops his neck but no effect* *zipper opens* *contemplates options* *sees bridge approaching* *favorite song is Stan* "ID RATHER DIE THEN HAVE MY MEAT SUCKED!" *swerves into the bridge barrier and flies off into the water* "AH!" *wakes up from nightmare in a cold sweat* *sees someone laying on top of me* *my dick is out* *squints* "Uncle?" *person dashes out of the room*: When you see a nigga running across the street yelling, "BOONK GANG!" 290 km/h λ‹ˆOO @typicalterome 40 Dumbass πŸ’€ - *gets in car with friend* "Wassup bro." "..." *he puts car in drive* "Aye you good?" "She broke up with me." *instantly regrets getting in car* "Aye man it's not that serio-" "10 YEARS!!! 10 YEARS WE WERE DATING. AND THEN WHEN I PROPOSED TO HER-" "You PROPOSED?" "-SHE SAID 'Were like brother and sister.' LIKE WHAT THE FUCK BRO?" "That cause you are brother and sis-" "AND WHEN I TRY TO CALL HER, SHE DOESNT ANSWER HER PHONE OR TEXTS!" "Don't y'all live togeth-" *car flies through a red light* "Aye bro just clam down. Don't do anything rash." "RASH? THE BITCH GAVE ME AN STD TOO! AN UNCURABLE ONE AT THAT!" "Holup what-" "AND THE PRICE FOR THE MEDICINE IS FUCKING INSANE BRO! I SHOULD JUST FUCKING END IT ALL RIGHT NOW, HUH?!" *car swerves into oncoming traffic* "AYE BRO CHILLLLLL!" *I grab the steering wheel* *goes back into the correct lane* *friend is crying now* *I pull over somehow* "Just let me drive, bruh." *switches seats and continues driving* "I loved her man. I really did. How could she do this to me." "Well, considering she's your sist-" "All the time I've spent with her, gone to waste." "Look man-" "I dont need your sympathy right now." "I'm not giving you sympathy dickhead you almost killed me-" "From now on, I'm gay." "Wait, what the fuck did you just say?" *puts his hand on my thigh* "You don't want to do this." "I've been eyeing you for a long ass time, bro. I fantasize about you all day. I can see our kids faces now..." "WE ARE BOTH DUDES. WE CANT GET PREGNANT!" "You're so close minded, I like that." *licks my ear* *thoughts of suicide fill my head* "DUDE STOP TOUCHING ME!" *car honks at us* "SORRY! HEY, DONT TOUCH ME THERE BRO I SWEAR TO GOD!" *goes for my zipper* *karate chops his neck but no effect* *zipper opens* *contemplates options* *sees bridge approaching* *favorite song is Stan* "ID RATHER DIE THEN HAVE MY MEAT SUCKED!" *swerves into the bridge barrier and flies off into the water* "AH!" *wakes up from nightmare in a cold sweat* *sees someone laying on top of me* *my dick is out* *squints* "Uncle?" *person dashes out of the room*
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Back on my caption shit: "Aye Free Tay K bruh." "Didn't he kill like 2 people?" "And?" *door opens* "Dinner is ready." "Bet." *goes downstairs and sits at dinner table with family* "Itadakimasu!" "Bruh you gotta stop watching anime." "ShutchobitchassupTroy." "Boys! Quit arguing at the table. Terome, how was work?" "It was garbage. This lady asked for a Cobb salad without Cobb. I wanted to slap her on my dead goldfish." "You ain't got a dead goldfish." "Who asked you?" "Troy, how was your day?" "It was ight, Mom. I don't know why you always ask us that at the table." "Why do I ask you that? It's a parents job to make sure their kids are happy and doing the right thin-" "Shutcho 'well ackshually' ass up Janet." "For real Dad, she talk to much." *Mom stares at her plate and shakes* "You big mad or little mad?" Dad said. *shaking intensifies* "Damn look at her face, she mad asf." "I dare you to poke her." "Hell nah I ain't suicidal." "Don't test me David..." Mom says through her teeth. "Janet I've tested this food and it tastes like a homeless nigga." "Holup, how you know what that tastes like?" "Don't ask question you don't want the answer to, Terome." "O." "THATS IT!" *Mom stands up and marches back upstairs* "Guess she was big mad." Troy said. *rattling from upstairs* "Tf is she doing?" *footsteps coming down the stairs* "I've had it with you 3..." *Mom points a 9mm at us* "Hey I was saving that for school!" "Aye if you gon shoot anybody, make sure it's me first." *all 3 stare at Troy* "What? I run a meme page.": "ls this a person with decent music?" "No, this is a SoundCloud rapper." ORDEK HERE @typicalterome Back on my caption shit: "Aye Free Tay K bruh." "Didn't he kill like 2 people?" "And?" *door opens* "Dinner is ready." "Bet." *goes downstairs and sits at dinner table with family* "Itadakimasu!" "Bruh you gotta stop watching anime." "ShutchobitchassupTroy." "Boys! Quit arguing at the table. Terome, how was work?" "It was garbage. This lady asked for a Cobb salad without Cobb. I wanted to slap her on my dead goldfish." "You ain't got a dead goldfish." "Who asked you?" "Troy, how was your day?" "It was ight, Mom. I don't know why you always ask us that at the table." "Why do I ask you that? It's a parents job to make sure their kids are happy and doing the right thin-" "Shutcho 'well ackshually' ass up Janet." "For real Dad, she talk to much." *Mom stares at her plate and shakes* "You big mad or little mad?" Dad said. *shaking intensifies* "Damn look at her face, she mad asf." "I dare you to poke her." "Hell nah I ain't suicidal." "Don't test me David..." Mom says through her teeth. "Janet I've tested this food and it tastes like a homeless nigga." "Holup, how you know what that tastes like?" "Don't ask question you don't want the answer to, Terome." "O." "THATS IT!" *Mom stands up and marches back upstairs* "Guess she was big mad." Troy said. *rattling from upstairs* "Tf is she doing?" *footsteps coming down the stairs* "I've had it with you 3..." *Mom points a 9mm at us* "Hey I was saving that for school!" "Aye if you gon shoot anybody, make sure it's me first." *all 3 stare at Troy* "What? I run a meme page."
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"Im bored." "Same." "You tryna make out?" "Nigga what?" "Never mind it was a dumb question." "You wanna make up some scenarios?" "Scenarios?" "Yea, made up situations." "Oh ok. Ight you go first." "Hmm lets see. If you could relive last year, what would you do differently?" "Awww this shit easy. I wouldn't fuck this one nigga that gave me herpes." "Holup you got herpes? Is that why you wanted to make-" "What would you do differently?" "Me? I would stop myself from nutting in my baby sisters lotion." "Oh word you do that too?" Alright I got a tough one. If you could go back in time to any time period, where would you go and why?" "Tough? Nigga thats easy." "How?" "Look, ima go back to when my Mom was pregnant with me and rock her shit while she on the stairs. Im saving her money on an abortion ya feel me?" "Wont you dissapear then?" "Dont we all?" "Damn that's deep." "What would you do?" "Well, I'd probably go back in time and stop 9-11." "9-11? Whats that?" "Exactly ( Ν‘Β° ΝœΚ– Ν‘Β°)": When a lame nigga in the group chat say he get hoes Me: "Im bored." "Same." "You tryna make out?" "Nigga what?" "Never mind it was a dumb question." "You wanna make up some scenarios?" "Scenarios?" "Yea, made up situations." "Oh ok. Ight you go first." "Hmm lets see. If you could relive last year, what would you do differently?" "Awww this shit easy. I wouldn't fuck this one nigga that gave me herpes." "Holup you got herpes? Is that why you wanted to make-" "What would you do differently?" "Me? I would stop myself from nutting in my baby sisters lotion." "Oh word you do that too?" Alright I got a tough one. If you could go back in time to any time period, where would you go and why?" "Tough? Nigga thats easy." "How?" "Look, ima go back to when my Mom was pregnant with me and rock her shit while she on the stairs. Im saving her money on an abortion ya feel me?" "Wont you dissapear then?" "Dont we all?" "Damn that's deep." "What would you do?" "Well, I'd probably go back in time and stop 9-11." "9-11? Whats that?" "Exactly ( Ν‘Β° ΝœΚ– Ν‘Β°)"
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