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Hook Ups

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8Th

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Hooking

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Kati
Kati

Kati

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Writer

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Improvement
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Nervously
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back the fuck up
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Bad, Beyonce, and Booty: If you don't pet him, you're a monster. Pic: reddit u/coal the slaw @DrSmashlove So yesterday I had about 12 hours of work to knock out and as the night got older, I had to leave the warm, familiar confines of my go-to Mom-and-Pop coffee joints that serve coffee made with love, care, affection and human warmth (and therefore close early so that they wonderful baristas can go act in plays and paint paintings and do other artsy tings that allow them to form doves and angels and birds in yo latte) and head to the barren desert land that is Starbucks, where they serve piping-hot burnt sludge-water brewed from the charcoal grains of Hell. Literally Starbucks got a long term supply agreement with Satan where they pay half they net revenue to ol dude with the red goat face and long tail and in return he supply them with coffee that shouldn’t be served to maximum security prisoners bruv. BUT THEY OPEN 24-7 BECAUSE SATAN NEVER SLEEPS - HE’S ALWAYS WREAKING HAVOC (except during Ramadan 🤗😂). Anyway so I’m there and they got the nerve. The cot damn NERVE...to play a playlist where Jay and Beyoncé are followed by Johnny Cash which is followed by “Till the Lights Come On” by Sun Rai (I had to Google the lyrics. No offense Sun Rai u probably a star of some sort but ya music sound like booty cheeks NO OFFENSE 🤗). Who did this? Who is RESPONSIBLE for this? In addition to obtaining they coffee supply from Satan, do they also let him hook up the playlists? How I’m pose to concentrate when y’all playing Jakob Dylan followed by Echosmith? I have ADD. Is this playlist meant to melt the remaining shred of sanity I have? Y’all serve coffee that’s stronger than bad cocaine and y’all play music that is jarring, discordant and unharmonious - combine the two and I now have the subtle urge to punch a baby 🤗. Y’all absolutely some criminals for this lmao. Change that mermaid on ya cup to Lucifer because this is the last time I ever fux with y’all devilish establishment - AWAY FROM ME, SATAN! 🤗😂😂😂
Bad, Beyonce, and Booty: If you don't pet him, you're a monster.
 Pic: reddit u/coal the slaw
 @DrSmashlove
So yesterday I had about 12 hours of work to knock out and as the night got older, I had to leave the warm, familiar confines of my go-to Mom-and-Pop coffee joints that serve coffee made with love, care, affection and human warmth (and therefore close early so that they wonderful baristas can go act in plays and paint paintings and do other artsy tings that allow them to form doves and angels and birds in yo latte) and head to the barren desert land that is Starbucks, where they serve piping-hot burnt sludge-water brewed from the charcoal grains of Hell. Literally Starbucks got a long term supply agreement with Satan where they pay half they net revenue to ol dude with the red goat face and long tail and in return he supply them with coffee that shouldn’t be served to maximum security prisoners bruv. BUT THEY OPEN 24-7 BECAUSE SATAN NEVER SLEEPS - HE’S ALWAYS WREAKING HAVOC (except during Ramadan 🤗😂). Anyway so I’m there and they got the nerve. The cot damn NERVE...to play a playlist where Jay and Beyoncé are followed by Johnny Cash which is followed by “Till the Lights Come On” by Sun Rai (I had to Google the lyrics. No offense Sun Rai u probably a star of some sort but ya music sound like booty cheeks NO OFFENSE 🤗). Who did this? Who is RESPONSIBLE for this? In addition to obtaining they coffee supply from Satan, do they also let him hook up the playlists? How I’m pose to concentrate when y’all playing Jakob Dylan followed by Echosmith? I have ADD. Is this playlist meant to melt the remaining shred of sanity I have? Y’all serve coffee that’s stronger than bad cocaine and y’all play music that is jarring, discordant and unharmonious - combine the two and I now have the subtle urge to punch a baby 🤗. Y’all absolutely some criminals for this lmao. Change that mermaid on ya cup to Lucifer because this is the last time I ever fux with y’all devilish establishment - AWAY FROM ME, SATAN! 🤗😂😂😂

So yesterday I had about 12 hours of work to knock out and as the night got older, I had to leave the warm, familiar confines of my go-to Mo...

Blade, Drunk, and Memes: Store Clerk Knocks Out Robber Who Said "We Can Do This The Easy Way or The Hard Way" @balleralert Store Clerk Knocks Out Robber Who Said “We Can Do This The Easy Way or The Hard Way” – blogged by @MsJennyb ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ On Monday, a convenience store clerk took matters into his own hands after a would-be robber tried to overthrow his store. The suspect, who has been identified as 52-year-old AndreYoung, entered the Speedway on Northland Boulevard and tried to jump over the counter with a blade. However, the store clerk fought back, seizing the blade and delivering a devastating right hook to knock Young out. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ The clerk then called 911 to explain the situation, which was also captured by a security camera inside of the Speedway. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ “He’s still in here,” the clerk told officials. “I had to knock him out. You need to get a trooper here now, because he’s in here, he’s in here all f*cked up.” ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ “The allegations are that the defendant went into a Speedway gas station, brandished a box cutter, and stated, ‘We can do this the easy way, or the hard way,’” Dave Wood of the Hamilton County prosecutor’s office said. “The cashier luckily was able to defend himself and incapacitate the defendant until police showed up.” ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ Later, in an interview with police, Young said his actions were misconstrued. He claimed he was holding the knife to cut something off his shirt, to which officials responded by saying it isn’t smart to try to jump a counter with a blade, if you aren’t planning to rob someone. “Man, I was drunk,” Young replied. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ The next day, Young stood before a judge on crutches with a swollen black eye. The judge set a $175,000 bond on two counts of aggravated robbery and assault. Oddly enough, officials say Young was convicted of using a bat to rob the same gas station back in 2005.
Blade, Drunk, and Memes: Store Clerk Knocks Out Robber Who Said
 "We Can Do This The Easy Way or The
 Hard Way"
 @balleralert
Store Clerk Knocks Out Robber Who Said “We Can Do This The Easy Way or The Hard Way” – blogged by @MsJennyb ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ On Monday, a convenience store clerk took matters into his own hands after a would-be robber tried to overthrow his store. The suspect, who has been identified as 52-year-old AndreYoung, entered the Speedway on Northland Boulevard and tried to jump over the counter with a blade. However, the store clerk fought back, seizing the blade and delivering a devastating right hook to knock Young out. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ The clerk then called 911 to explain the situation, which was also captured by a security camera inside of the Speedway. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ “He’s still in here,” the clerk told officials. “I had to knock him out. You need to get a trooper here now, because he’s in here, he’s in here all f*cked up.” ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ “The allegations are that the defendant went into a Speedway gas station, brandished a box cutter, and stated, ‘We can do this the easy way, or the hard way,’” Dave Wood of the Hamilton County prosecutor’s office said. “The cashier luckily was able to defend himself and incapacitate the defendant until police showed up.” ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ Later, in an interview with police, Young said his actions were misconstrued. He claimed he was holding the knife to cut something off his shirt, to which officials responded by saying it isn’t smart to try to jump a counter with a blade, if you aren’t planning to rob someone. “Man, I was drunk,” Young replied. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ The next day, Young stood before a judge on crutches with a swollen black eye. The judge set a $175,000 bond on two counts of aggravated robbery and assault. Oddly enough, officials say Young was convicted of using a bat to rob the same gas station back in 2005.

Store Clerk Knocks Out Robber Who Said “We Can Do This The Easy Way or The Hard Way” – blogged by @MsJennyb ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ On Monday, a con...

Baller Alert, Fall, and Love: Baller Alert's Celebrities Love: Dolce & Gabbana Fall 2017 Sheer Bow Tie Dress Featuring Amanda Seales, Kandi Burruss, Princess Love, & Tami Roman @balleralert Baller Alert’s Celebrities Love: Dolce & Gabbana Fall 2017 Sheer Bow Tie Dress Featuring Amanda Seales, Kandi Burruss, Princess Love, & Tami Roman - blogged by @peachkyss ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ One of the hottest dresses of the season comes from Dolce & Gabbana’s Fall 2017 Collection. We have spotted Amanda Seales, Kandi Burruss, Princess Love, & Tami Roman wearing the $3,775 Sheer Bow Tie Dress. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ Amanda Seales recently did a shoot in the dress with a high bun and popping red lip. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ Kandi Burruss went with short cut and dark lippy for Monarch Magazine. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ Tami Roman wore the dress for the premiere of TV One’s ‘When Love Kills.’ The dress was paired with black pumps, her hair was pulled up in a bun, and a nude lippy. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ Love & Hip Hop’s Princess Love stopped by The Real last month wearing the dress with her down and a nude lip. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ The dress was first spotted on the runway during the brand’s Fall 2017 collection, which features stretch tulle throughout. The dress is also embellished with a front bow and contrasting colour hem, round neckline and rear zipper with hook closure. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ All the ladies look fabulous. I especially love the hair being pulled up with a red or nude lip. You don’t want to make your hair too busy since the dress already has a lot of details. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ Who’s look are your feeling more? ballerificfashion
Baller Alert, Fall, and Love: Baller Alert's Celebrities Love: Dolce &
 Gabbana Fall 2017 Sheer Bow Tie Dress
 Featuring Amanda Seales, Kandi Burruss,
 Princess Love, & Tami Roman
 @balleralert
Baller Alert’s Celebrities Love: Dolce & Gabbana Fall 2017 Sheer Bow Tie Dress Featuring Amanda Seales, Kandi Burruss, Princess Love, & Tami Roman - blogged by @peachkyss ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ One of the hottest dresses of the season comes from Dolce & Gabbana’s Fall 2017 Collection. We have spotted Amanda Seales, Kandi Burruss, Princess Love, & Tami Roman wearing the $3,775 Sheer Bow Tie Dress. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ Amanda Seales recently did a shoot in the dress with a high bun and popping red lip. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ Kandi Burruss went with short cut and dark lippy for Monarch Magazine. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ Tami Roman wore the dress for the premiere of TV One’s ‘When Love Kills.’ The dress was paired with black pumps, her hair was pulled up in a bun, and a nude lippy. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ Love & Hip Hop’s Princess Love stopped by The Real last month wearing the dress with her down and a nude lip. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ The dress was first spotted on the runway during the brand’s Fall 2017 collection, which features stretch tulle throughout. The dress is also embellished with a front bow and contrasting colour hem, round neckline and rear zipper with hook closure. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ All the ladies look fabulous. I especially love the hair being pulled up with a red or nude lip. You don’t want to make your hair too busy since the dress already has a lot of details. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ Who’s look are your feeling more? ballerificfashion

Baller Alert’s Celebrities Love: Dolce & Gabbana Fall 2017 Sheer Bow Tie Dress Featuring Amanda Seales, Kandi Burruss, Princess Love, & Tami...

Ass, Barber, and Best Buy: .il Verizon 10:22 AM Text Message Today 9:30 AM Hey. What's. Up. Bro This. KeV in. KeV in who Be. At. Shop Lil. G. Barber. Shojp What. Time. You. Tryina. Meet. Up. Ima. Bring. The. Cocaine. And. 3 Poodles Did. You. Talk to. Any. One. At. Shop Just. Dwayne. But. You. Know. He. On. That. Gay. Shit. Always. Tryina. Put. It. In. Me. What ext Message StubHub Verizon 10:22 AM Did. You. Talk. To. Him. Bout. Mack. Pc Yea. But. Last. Time. I. Bought. A. Pc From. Him. It. Was. Filled. With. Animal. Pornography. And. I. Had. To. Return. It I. Brought. It. To. Best. Buy. To. See How. To. Get. It. Off. But. I. Had. To. Run Out. Cuz. They. Were. Looking. At. Me Weird. And. Talked. About. Calling. The Police. On. Me No. Call. Lil. Gee. He. Will. Explain You. Can't. Explain. Animal. Porn. Man Do. You.Know. How. Blown. I. Was When. I. Saw. This. Man. Giving. An Elephant. Head? And. I. Don't. Mean. Sucking. His. Trunk Know. Man. Not. Computer I. Mean. Literally. Putting. His. Head. In His. Ass. Man. You. Wild ext Message StubHub Verizon 10:22 AM Call. Gee Aight. Ima. Call. Him. Now I. Left. lt. At. Shop Yo. Whv. Gee. Said. He. Gonna. Lick My. Bootyhole. When. I. Get. There What. Kinda. Shit. You. Leave lts. Like. Shit. You. Can. Hook. Up. For. Music. An. Some other. Shit. Oh. That's. Why. Gee. Talking. About. Playing. My. Flute. And. Tickling. My Ivories I. Thought. He. Was. Trying. To. Toss. My. Salad. Again What's. Up. Man He. Got. It. At. Shop Okay. Ima. Come. Get. It. But. Call. And Tell. Gee. To. Stop. Talking. All. This Gav. Shit ext Message StubHub Verizon 10:22 AM Ivories . Thought. He. Was. Trying. To. Toss. My. Salad. Again What's. Up. Man He. Got. It. At. Shop Okay. Ima. Come. Get. It. But. Call. And Tell. Gee. To. Stop. Talking. All. This. Gay. Shit Tell. Him. My. Asshole. Is. Exit. Only Maybe. A. Tongue. Here. And. There But. That's. On. Special.Occasions. Only Yeah. Will. Do Will, Tell. Him Stop Thank. You. He. Needs. To. At. Least. Bring. Me. Flowers. Before. He. Tries To. Get. Me. To. Spread. Eagle. For. Him ext Message StubHub Wrong. Text. Troll.
Ass, Barber, and Best Buy: .il Verizon
 10:22 AM
 Text Message
 Today 9:30 AM
 Hey. What's. Up. Bro
 This. KeV in.
 KeV in who
 Be. At. Shop
 Lil. G. Barber. Shojp
 What. Time. You. Tryina. Meet. Up.
 Ima. Bring. The. Cocaine. And. 3
 Poodles
 Did. You. Talk to. Any. One. At. Shop
 Just. Dwayne. But. You. Know. He. On.
 That. Gay. Shit. Always. Tryina. Put. It.
 In. Me.
 What
 ext Message
 StubHub

 Verizon
 10:22 AM
 Did. You. Talk. To. Him. Bout. Mack. Pc
 Yea. But. Last. Time. I. Bought. A. Pc
 From. Him. It. Was. Filled. With. Animal.
 Pornography. And. I. Had. To. Return. It
 I. Brought. It. To. Best. Buy. To. See
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 Out. Cuz. They. Were. Looking. At. Me
 Weird. And. Talked. About. Calling. The
 Police. On. Me
 No. Call. Lil. Gee. He. Will. Explain
 You. Can't. Explain. Animal. Porn. Man
 Do. You.Know. How. Blown. I. Was
 When. I. Saw. This. Man. Giving. An
 Elephant. Head?
 And. I. Don't. Mean. Sucking. His. Trunk
 Know. Man. Not. Computer
 I. Mean. Literally. Putting. His. Head. In
 His. Ass.
 Man. You. Wild
 ext Message
 StubHub

 Verizon
 10:22 AM
 Call. Gee
 Aight. Ima. Call. Him. Now
 I. Left. lt. At. Shop
 Yo. Whv. Gee. Said. He. Gonna. Lick
 My. Bootyhole. When. I. Get. There
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 lts. Like. Shit. You. Can. Hook. Up. For.
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 Ivories
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 Gav. Shit
 ext Message
 StubHub

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 10:22 AM
 Ivories
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 Bring. Me. Flowers. Before. He. Tries
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 ext Message
 StubHub
Wrong. Text. Troll.

Wrong. Text. Troll.

Apple, Beats by Dre, and Dr. Dre: Suge Knight Claims Dr. Dre Paid $20,000 to Have Him Killed @balleralert Suge Knight Claims Dr. Dre Paid $20,000 to Have Him Killed - blogged by @MsJennyb ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ Back in 2016, SugeKnight filed a suit against co-founder of Death Row Records, DrDre, accusing him of hiring a hit man to take him out a few years prior. At the time of the alleged murder for hire plot, Dre had just secured the billion dollar Beats By Dre x Apple deal. However, Knight claims he had a lifetime contract with Dre, which supposedly forced the music producer to cough up $300 million of the deal. In an attempt to skip out on the payment, Knight claimed Dre ordered a $50,000 hit on him, which resulted in the 2014 1Oak shooting of Knight. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ Now one year later, Knight is back with similar claims against the superstar record producer. This time, Knight claims Dre paid $20,000 to have him killed. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ In legal docs obtained by TMZ, Knight claims he was shown a check back in July of 2016 that was made out to a man named Dwayne Johnson. He says the check was made out by Dr. Dre to have Knight killed, the same day the music exec fatally ran over Terry Carter at Tam’s. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ Knight claims Johnson also told him and a private investigator that the $20,000 check was partial payment for “Dwayne Johnson to participate in my murder,” the documents state. However, according to TMZ, Knight’s allegations may be a ploy to get himself off the hook, as he claims he had reason to fear for his life when he entered Tam’s parking lot. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ As a result, Knight asked a judge to check Dre’s financial records to prove he paid for the hit, however, the judge denied the motion.
Apple, Beats by Dre, and Dr. Dre: Suge Knight Claims Dr. Dre Paid
 $20,000 to Have Him Killed
 @balleralert
Suge Knight Claims Dr. Dre Paid $20,000 to Have Him Killed - blogged by @MsJennyb ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ Back in 2016, SugeKnight filed a suit against co-founder of Death Row Records, DrDre, accusing him of hiring a hit man to take him out a few years prior. At the time of the alleged murder for hire plot, Dre had just secured the billion dollar Beats By Dre x Apple deal. However, Knight claims he had a lifetime contract with Dre, which supposedly forced the music producer to cough up $300 million of the deal. In an attempt to skip out on the payment, Knight claimed Dre ordered a $50,000 hit on him, which resulted in the 2014 1Oak shooting of Knight. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ Now one year later, Knight is back with similar claims against the superstar record producer. This time, Knight claims Dre paid $20,000 to have him killed. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ In legal docs obtained by TMZ, Knight claims he was shown a check back in July of 2016 that was made out to a man named Dwayne Johnson. He says the check was made out by Dr. Dre to have Knight killed, the same day the music exec fatally ran over Terry Carter at Tam’s. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ Knight claims Johnson also told him and a private investigator that the $20,000 check was partial payment for “Dwayne Johnson to participate in my murder,” the documents state. However, according to TMZ, Knight’s allegations may be a ploy to get himself off the hook, as he claims he had reason to fear for his life when he entered Tam’s parking lot. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ As a result, Knight asked a judge to check Dre’s financial records to prove he paid for the hit, however, the judge denied the motion.

Suge Knight Claims Dr. Dre Paid $20,000 to Have Him Killed - blogged by @MsJennyb ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ Back in 2016, SugeKnight filed a suit agai...

5 Am, Ass, and Bad: Anonymous 09/29/17(Fri)19:54:36 No. 746664631 >2746670273 My autistic tinder hookup be me, 19 > ust quit night job, sleep schedule fucked up > have a cold > trying to stay up to fix sleep schedule, dying > fuck with girls on tinder, don't really care about it > used to try to get girls on it, gave up after only whales and retards were dtf > match with a mexican girl, 50 miles away > she's okay looking, not bad but nothing too special > send her a message saying "u like spaghettio?" > spaghettio's autocorrected to spaghettio, I thought it was funny > she just says "yes" > don't reply for a few hours > she sends me a message saving "you look like you have a big dick > I am confused and assure her that I do not > she says she wants to be penetrated > she says that she is moving away for school soon and doesn't want anything serious > I look her up on facebook and make sure that l'm not being catfished > see that she's about to move from the Midwest to California for school > the school is a community college > the subject gets changed, I ask her about herself while I nervously try to decide if I should fuck her > she starts telling me about her political stances, and how she wants to change the world > says she wants to teach at an inner-city school > I asked if she has ever gone to one, she says no but that she rode a bus with one once, and the students were all ignorant > she sends me a 15 minute john oliver video about translators helping the military in the middle east > I watch it for some reason > she starts talking about us fucking again > decide fuck it, I'm tired of missing my chances to get free puss > my only prior sexual experience is jerking my flaccid dick off on an escort's couch for 10 minutes tell her I'm dtf, ask for her numbe > she won't give it to me, she doesn't want us to get that close since she's moving > tells me she doesn't want to kiss when we hook up > fine with me, I'm bad at it anyways > she sends me her address Anonymous 09/29/17(Fri)19 57 04 No. 746664850 File: 2.ipg (35 KB, 324x470) s it's almost 10 pm at this point, I've already been awake for 23 hours > I shower and finally leave at like 11 get in my newly-purchased $1500 piece of shit car > loud as fuck, power steering barely functional, tire pressure terrible > start heading to her house, 1 hr 20 min trip according to google > realize that I should stop to get a 5 hour energy and put air in my tires > go to speedway, buy the 5 hour energy -1/--Hime > cashier keeps talking to me about how I'll need it for pokemon go (it just came out) > he won't stop talking about it, meanwhile im nervous as fuck finally leave, put air in my tires > their pressure is extremely low and I've only driven for 20 minutes so far > keep going, scared that car isn't going to be able to make it > stop again at another speedway, about an hour into the trip >put the air in my tires, try to find my way back to highway > have shitty ass cheap phone service, can't get google maps to load > just get back on highway and keep driving for a while > google maps is loading again, I make it to her town > having severe stomach issues, about to shit myself > lose service in her town, have no idea where I'm at >pull up to a sketchy ass gas station, go in to release my bowels > later in life I find out that I have irritable bowel syndrome > shit in the bathroom for probably 15 minutes, it's now almost 1 am > leave the bathroom, 2 men standing at the counter smiling at me > avoid eye contact and leave > still nervous as fuck and without phone service > drive around her town not knowing what to do >want to go home, but I've already made it this far so I cant give up finally get service, check tinder to see over 10 messages from her > she's getting pissed and wants to know what's going on > I park in front of someone's house and tell her that I'm lost > try to memorize directions to her house in case I lose service again > head to her house once again, lose service >think I find her house, but it's a two-family house and her neighbors are outside for some reason > not sure what to do or where to park drive around the block a few times, her neighbors are obviously suspicious that my loud ass car keeps passing by finally decide to park, pull up in front of her house > her neighbors are staring at me, start calling someone > luckily have service and can message her > tell her ive arrived > unluckily she's retarded and won't come to the door she tells me to just walk in > tell her that sounds sketchy > she still wont come to the door, says shes busy drinking water neighbors still staring at me, almost 10 minutes have passed > decide fuck it, ill walk in > cop car pulls up as im getting out of my car s they shine their spotlight on me, they don't say anything > I wave like the autist I am to them > they don't react > just walk in, my heart is pounding > she's standing by the doorway wearing panties and a tank top > don't understand why she didn't just let me in but whatever she grabs me and leads me through her dark house > there is a child that she is supposed to be babysitting sleeping on the couch > her bed is just 2 twin size beds next to each other > it's hot as fuck and I don't think there is any AC, only a fan there's a huge mirror in front of her bed > Christmas lights all over her room > she lays down > I stand there awkwardly, unsure of what to do > just make small-talk about her neighbors she says something like "are we going to fuck or not?" > nervously strip to my baggy boxer-briefs >get in the bed, start kissing her thighs > she tells me to eat her out > I have no idea how to pull her panties off and start licking her nether regions no clue what im doing, she seems to be enjoying somehow though > decide to stick a finger in, she likes it s haphazardly jam more fingers in, she still likes it O Anonymous 09/29/17(Fri)20:12:17 No.746666235 File: 4ipg (20 KB, 450x319) 2-746666831 >-746669345 >barely get it on, stick my chub inside her > thrust into her for a couple minutes, starting to lose breath > losing my boner minutes losing my boner > I get up and take my condom off > she starts sucking my dick her face is right around the corner from my asshole and I just had diarrhea she says she wants to ride me, I lay in the middle of her bed > the mattresses start to spread apart >I move to lay against the wall mostly on one mattress > it was dark so I couldn't tell, but I probably left ass sweat and shit stains all over her bed her titties are in my face, not totally sure what to do about them > I get back on top go for a few more minutes until I almost die she asks whyI keep getting so tired fuck her > I've been up for over 24 hours at this point, still sick we lay around talking about stuff for a while >trying to cool off, I don't even have a water >she rubs her hand on my dick and licks the precum off her finger > she sits on my dick while telling random stories tells me about how she was molested as a child probably giving me herpes > child starts knocking on door, crying > she yells at him to get back to bed > we get back to sex after 45 minutes try a few more positions > get her to try out some stuff like titty fucking and a foot job > I say "im gay" every time we switch positions because I am an autist and find it funny she asks me why I keep making fun of gay people she starts licking my mouth and tongue even though she said we shouldn't kiss > she's rubbing my dick on her clit and im about to cum > not sure what to do or say or where to cum > start to cum on her chest she sticks my dick in her mouth as I finish > we clean up, I ask her if she wants me to leave or if we should keep fucking > she says she planned on continuing > I somehow don't lose my erection and im miraculously able to continue >we do a few more positions, my unprotected dick is inside her while there is probably cum in my urethra Anonymous 09/29/17(Fri)20:14:53 No.746666535· File: 5ipg (258 KB, 1300x1131) 746667711 >im fucking her hard at one point, she's moaning "seel See!" > ask her "see what? > she says "no, Spanish" > Im a retard > almost an hour goes by, we're both tired and hot now she says she really wants to do some freaky shit, asks me for ideas > I don't fucking know > I think she mightve came twice, I don't really remember >she came at least once, not sure how I did it >I just want to get another nut off > she's ferociously sucking my dick, im >she gives up and lays with her face in the bed, her ass up > it takes every little bit of energy for me to cum onto her ass 9 she tells me to take a photo so I do >she tries to move my hand to her asshole, I resist > get dressed, go for a hug she gives me a high-five instead, doesn't want us to get close >say bye, leave > drive home for over an hour >awake for like 30 hours, dehydrated, hot > contemplating life, the possibility that I got her pregnant > probably have herpes > just want to go home and shower and sleep > have never felt so dead inside >get home after 5 am, dad is getting ready for work >go to sleep without showering > periodically look her up to make sure she isn't pregnant struggling to cum Anon gets laid
5 Am, Ass, and Bad: Anonymous 09/29/17(Fri)19:54:36 No. 746664631
 >2746670273
 My autistic tinder hookup
 be me, 19
 > ust quit night job, sleep schedule fucked up
 > have a cold
 > trying to stay up to fix sleep schedule, dying
 > fuck with girls on tinder, don't really care about it
 > used to try to get girls on it, gave up after only whales and
 retards were dtf
 > match with a mexican girl, 50 miles away
 > she's okay looking, not bad but nothing too special
 > send her a message saying "u like spaghettio?"
 > spaghettio's autocorrected to spaghettio, I thought it was funny
 > she just says "yes"
 > don't reply for a few hours
 > she sends me a message saving "you look like you have a big
 dick
 > I am confused and assure her that I do not
 > she says she wants to be penetrated
 > she says that she is moving away for school soon and doesn't want anything serious
 > I look her up on facebook and make sure that l'm not being catfished
 > see that she's about to move from the Midwest to California for school
 > the school is a community college
 > the subject gets changed, I ask her about herself while I nervously try to decide if I should
 fuck her
 > she starts telling me about her political stances, and how she wants to change the world
 > says she wants to teach at an inner-city school
 > I asked if she has ever gone to one, she says no but that she rode a bus with one once, and
 the students were all ignorant
 > she sends me a 15 minute john oliver video about translators helping the military in the
 middle east
 > I watch it for some reason
 > she starts talking about us fucking again
 > decide fuck it, I'm tired of missing my chances to get free puss
 > my only prior sexual experience is jerking my flaccid dick off on an escort's couch for 10
 minutes
 tell her I'm dtf, ask for her numbe
 > she won't give it to me, she doesn't want us to get that close since she's moving
 > tells me she doesn't want to kiss when we hook up
 > fine with me, I'm bad at it anyways
 > she sends me her address

 Anonymous 09/29/17(Fri)19 57 04 No. 746664850
 File: 2.ipg (35 KB, 324x470)
 s it's almost 10 pm at this point, I've already been awake for 23 hours
 > I shower and finally leave at like 11
 get in my newly-purchased $1500 piece of shit car
 > loud as fuck, power steering barely functional, tire pressure terrible
 > start heading to her house, 1 hr 20 min trip according to google
 > realize that I should stop to get a 5 hour energy and put air in my
 tires
 > go to speedway, buy the 5 hour energy
 -1/--Hime
 > cashier keeps talking to me about how I'll need it for pokemon go (it just came out)
 > he won't stop talking about it, meanwhile im nervous as fuck
 finally leave, put air in my tires
 > their pressure is extremely low and I've only driven for 20 minutes so far
 > keep going, scared that car isn't going to be able to make it
 > stop again at another speedway, about an hour into the trip
 >put the air in my tires, try to find my way back to highway
 > have shitty ass cheap phone service, can't get google maps to load
 > just get back on highway and keep driving for a while
 > google maps is loading again, I make it to her town
 > having severe stomach issues, about to shit myself
 > lose service in her town, have no idea where I'm at
 >pull up to a sketchy ass gas station, go in to release my bowels
 > later in life I find out that I have irritable bowel syndrome
 > shit in the bathroom for probably 15 minutes, it's now almost 1 am
 > leave the bathroom, 2 men standing at the counter smiling at me
 > avoid eye contact and leave
 > still nervous as fuck and without phone service
 > drive around her town not knowing what to do
 >want to go home, but I've already made it this far so I cant give up
 finally get service, check tinder to see over 10 messages from her
 > she's getting pissed and wants to know what's going on
 > I park in front of someone's house and tell her that I'm lost
 > try to memorize directions to her house in case I lose service again
 > head to her house once again, lose service

 >think I find her house, but it's a two-family house and her neighbors
 are outside for some reason
 > not sure what to do or where to park
 drive around the block a few times, her neighbors are obviously
 suspicious that my loud ass car keeps passing by
 finally decide to park, pull up in front of her house
 > her neighbors are staring at me, start calling someone
 > luckily have service and can message her
 > tell her ive arrived
 > unluckily she's retarded and won't come to the door
 she tells me to just walk in
 > tell her that sounds sketchy
 > she still wont come to the door, says shes busy drinking water
 neighbors still staring at me, almost 10 minutes have passed
 > decide fuck it, ill walk in
 > cop car pulls up as im getting out of my car
 s they shine their spotlight on me, they don't say anything
 > I wave like the autist I am to them
 > they don't react
 > just walk in, my heart is pounding
 > she's standing by the doorway wearing panties and a tank top
 > don't understand why she didn't just let me in but whatever
 she grabs me and leads me through her dark house
 > there is a child that she is supposed to be babysitting sleeping on the couch
 > her bed is just 2 twin size beds next to each other
 > it's hot as fuck and I don't think there is any AC, only a fan
 there's a huge mirror in front of her bed
 > Christmas lights all over her room
 > she lays down
 > I stand there awkwardly, unsure of what to do
 > just make small-talk about her neighbors
 she says something like "are we going to fuck or not?"
 > nervously strip to my baggy boxer-briefs
 >get in the bed, start kissing her thighs
 > she tells me to eat her out
 > I have no idea how to
 pull her panties off and start licking her nether regions
 no clue what im doing, she seems to be enjoying somehow though
 > decide to stick a finger in, she likes it
 s haphazardly jam more fingers in, she still likes it

 O Anonymous 09/29/17(Fri)20:12:17 No.746666235
 File: 4ipg (20 KB, 450x319)
 2-746666831 >-746669345
 >barely get it on, stick my chub inside her
 > thrust into her for a couple minutes, starting to lose breath
 > losing my boner
 minutes
 losing my boner
 > I get up and take my condom off
 > she starts sucking my dick
 her face is right around the corner from my asshole and I just had
 diarrhea
 she says she wants to ride me, I lay in the middle of her bed
 > the mattresses start to spread apart
 >I move to lay against the wall mostly on one mattress
 > it was dark so I couldn't tell, but I probably left ass sweat and shit stains all over her bed
 her titties are in my face, not totally sure what to do about them
 > I get back on top
 go for a few more minutes until I almost die
 she asks whyI keep getting so tired
 fuck her
 > I've been up for over 24 hours at this point, still sick
 we lay around talking about stuff for a while
 >trying to cool off, I don't even have a water
 >she rubs her hand on my dick and licks the precum off her finger
 > she sits on my dick while telling random stories
 tells me about how she was molested as a child
 probably giving me herpes
 > child starts knocking on door, crying
 > she yells at him to get back to bed
 > we get back to sex after 45 minutes
 try a few more positions
 > get her to try out some stuff like titty fucking and a foot job
 > I say "im gay" every time we switch positions because I am an autist and find it funny
 she asks me why I keep making fun of gay people
 she starts licking my mouth and tongue even though she said we shouldn't kiss
 > she's rubbing my dick on her clit and im about to cum
 > not sure what to do or say or where to cum
 > start to cum on her chest
 she sticks my dick in her mouth as I finish
 > we clean up, I ask her if she wants me to leave or if we should keep fucking
 > she says she planned on continuing
 > I somehow don't lose my erection and im miraculously able to continue
 >we do a few more positions, my unprotected dick is inside her while there is probably
 cum in my urethra

 Anonymous 09/29/17(Fri)20:14:53 No.746666535·
 File: 5ipg (258 KB, 1300x1131)
 746667711
 >im fucking her hard at one point, she's
 moaning "seel See!"
 > ask her "see what?
 > she says "no, Spanish"
 > Im a retard
 > almost an hour goes by, we're both tired and
 hot now
 she says she really wants to do some freaky shit, asks me for ideas
 > I don't fucking know
 > I think she mightve came twice, I don't really remember
 >she came at least once, not sure how I did it
 >I just want to get another nut off
 > she's ferociously sucking my dick, im
 >she gives up and lays with her face in the bed, her ass up
 > it takes every little bit of energy for me to cum onto her ass
 9 she tells me to take a photo so I do
 >she tries to move my hand to her asshole, I resist
 > get dressed, go for a hug
 she gives me a high-five instead, doesn't want us to get close
 >say bye, leave
 > drive home for over an hour
 >awake for like 30 hours, dehydrated, hot
 > contemplating life, the possibility that I got her pregnant
 > probably have herpes
 > just want to go home and shower and sleep
 > have never felt so dead inside
 >get home after 5 am, dad is getting ready for work
 >go to sleep without showering
 > periodically look her up to make sure she isn't pregnant
 struggling to cum
Anon gets laid

Anon gets laid

Be Like, Deep Throat, and Dope: Hoes be like "l can count how many niggas i've fucked with one hand" I advise you not to ask a girl her body count. There's a chance you might hear some shit you didn't want to. I was tryna to hook up with this one girl from school. Her name was Debbie but the homies called her deep throat. Head game gonna feel like getting your ears cleaned with a Q tip while reaching climax. I'm not the type of guy to listen to other guys when it come to girls. I rather keep it real and get to know them myself before making judgement. Debbie was pretty cool. Me and her had a lot in common and she seem dope. My homies saw me walk her to class one time and tried to have a intervention with me. I'm hard headed and didn't listen to them. At the end of the day your homies ain't gonna be laid up watching dragon ball super with you. (unless you into that ). I'm on FaceTime having a heart to heart with her. She ask me if I'm a virgin. I be hesitant to answer this question because if I say yes then she might think I'm a fuck boy, but if I say no the she might be down so she can take my V card. Hoes collect virginities like Pokémon. I asked her how many dudes she been with. She pulled out a Dick‘e -Dex (similar to the PokeDex) but it and recorded the vital info of the dudes that hit. Debbie listed my niggas, her niggas, my niggas niggas, and they niggas niggas niggas, more niggas then a lil wayne verse. After listening her List more dudes than avogordos number I was still in the mindset to fuck. That means her sex experience is max prestige and that's a Win. I had to act unsurprised like "oh ok cool" It was good until she said "Yea well that's the past tho my next man is gonna be husband. I spit out drink like triple H laughing. What you talking about sis? How you gonna play me like that? I hung my phone up with God level swiftness. Be careful kings.
Be Like, Deep Throat, and Dope: Hoes be like "l can count how
 many niggas i've fucked with one
 hand"
I advise you not to ask a girl her body count. There's a chance you might hear some shit you didn't want to. I was tryna to hook up with this one girl from school. Her name was Debbie but the homies called her deep throat. Head game gonna feel like getting your ears cleaned with a Q tip while reaching climax. I'm not the type of guy to listen to other guys when it come to girls. I rather keep it real and get to know them myself before making judgement. Debbie was pretty cool. Me and her had a lot in common and she seem dope. My homies saw me walk her to class one time and tried to have a intervention with me. I'm hard headed and didn't listen to them. At the end of the day your homies ain't gonna be laid up watching dragon ball super with you. (unless you into that ). I'm on FaceTime having a heart to heart with her. She ask me if I'm a virgin. I be hesitant to answer this question because if I say yes then she might think I'm a fuck boy, but if I say no the she might be down so she can take my V card. Hoes collect virginities like Pokémon. I asked her how many dudes she been with. She pulled out a Dick‘e -Dex (similar to the PokeDex) but it and recorded the vital info of the dudes that hit. Debbie listed my niggas, her niggas, my niggas niggas, and they niggas niggas niggas, more niggas then a lil wayne verse. After listening her List more dudes than avogordos number I was still in the mindset to fuck. That means her sex experience is max prestige and that's a Win. I had to act unsurprised like "oh ok cool" It was good until she said "Yea well that's the past tho my next man is gonna be husband. I spit out drink like triple H laughing. What you talking about sis? How you gonna play me like that? I hung my phone up with God level swiftness. Be careful kings.

I advise you not to ask a girl her body count. There's a chance you might hear some shit you didn't want to. I was tryna to hook up with thi...