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Bad, Beautiful, and Fucking: Take the breadsticks Young Man and run Man young [door man hand hook said car gun deceit-the-snakey-snake: plaid-n-converse: cherrysconeslut: pawsofponies: garecc: inthishousewekinkshamefnaf: inthishousewekinkshamefnaf: buggykin: inthishousewekinkshamefnaf: inthishousewekinkshamefnaf: biggest-goofiest-fish: desertdaylight: kait-the-kitty: chiribomb: politicalcompassmemes: your-uncle-dave: maps-and-elvis-and-zelda-n-shit: japhers: jewishzevran: animatedamerican: pagesofkenna: mommacomms: fidefortitude: bl00dlikeice: elphabaforpresidentofgallifrey: plaid-n-converse: memeception WE’VE HIT TERMINAL MEME @caesarianconfection I’ve said “I hate this” so many times on this website, and never actually meant it, because “I hate this” is just shorthand for ‘this is an example of a meme given a twist I wasn’t expecting with intent to surprise’. Which is, in of itself, a meme on this site. God damn it. But this… This is something else. The rapidity of a meme’s introduction to its zenith to its decline is so rapid that in ten years, you’ll need a damn twenty-page manual to explain this. It’ll be as unfunny and hard to explain as jokes in Shakespeare plays, except even more inexplicable because fuck, at least Shakespeare’s jokes are usually about anal or fucking your mother, good wholesome sex jokes we can all get behind. For the love of fuck, how do you explain loss.jpg? How do you explain gun? ….I THOUGHT THIS WAS A YMCA REFERENCE it is a YMCA reference - that’s one of the 6 memes being represented here ok let me see if i can break this down easily. YMCA is the easiest place to start - the song itself has become a meme over time with people changing the lyrics to reference other pop cultural events. so YMCA is meme one (1) this first lyric replacement (”take the breadsticks and run”) is a reference to the tumblr meme ‘stuffing breadsticks into my purse’. i think everyone remembers that one so i wont bother to explain it. that’s meme two (2) “man door hand hook car door” is a meme of its own, a creepypasta from i dont remember when. it was a terrible stupid retelling of the generic ‘stuck in a car while hook handed man tries to kill us’ story so the stupid title caught on for memorability. that in and of itself is meme three (3) ‘gun’ is… yeah i dont know how to explain gun. long story short you add gun to the end of a phrase instead of what you expect the last word to be. its shock funny. its everywhere but its popular to add to “man door hand hook car door” for.. some reason? gun is meme four (4) and the thing is, this four meme combo is something thats gone around before. meme combos are, itself, a meme. which means taking this meme combo and mixing in another meme actually becomes meme five (5) which leaves us at loss.jpg. loss.jpg was a terrible bad comic supposed to be about some tragic event, but it was presented so poorly literally no one takes it seriously, and for some reason recreating the four-panel setup has become popular. so thats meme six (6) (but i need to add that this is the greatest version of loss.jpg i think i’ve ever seen. the initial ‘young man’ lines up with the guy bursting through the door, and the shock meme ‘gun’ matches the shock scene of the woman in the hospital and idk if OP even thought about that but it makes this just so much better) I wasn’t going to reblog this, but @pagesofkenna‘s comprehensive meme-by-meme annotation is a thing of beauty and should be shared. average tumblr post contains one meme, this post, which contains six, is an outlier and should not be counted it might also just be a coincidence due to loss.jpg’s format but the whole white minimalist four-panel setup is also suspiciously reminiscent of those early 2000’s rage comics I was getting a political compass vibe too tag urself im man door hand hook car gun This works better than I thought it would. This was in my senior project I’m not sorry. EIGHT MEME COMBO FATALITY We have officially created a new language  I just had to do it to em THIS FUCKING THREAD I’M GONNA CRY I LOST IT AND MAN DOOR HAND HOOK CAR GUN AND DIDN’T EXPECT MORE I’M SOBBING M E M E T E N OwO? W o w You know I had to I hope you know this is the most cursed addition to my post, and I love it THIRTEEN!? MEME COUNT:1 - YMCA (@plaid-n-converse, pointed out by @pagesofkenna)2 - breadsticks (see above)3 - man door hand hook car door (see above)4 - gun (see above)5 - meme combo (see above)6 - loss (see above)7 - 2000s comics vibes (@plaid-n-converse, as pointed out by @japhers)8 - political compass (@plaid-n-converse, as pointed out by @maps-and-elvis-and-zelda-n-shit, then highlighted by @politicalcompassmemes)9 - tag yourself (user was @your-uncle-dave but now appears to be deactivated)10 - i hate this (kind of barely used by @fidefortitude so idk if it really counts)11 - nickelback/look at this photograph (@inthishousewekinkshamefnaf)12 - had to do it to them (see above)13 - distracted boyfriend (see above)14 - is this a pigeon (see above)15 - oh, this is beautiful (@garecc)16 - expanding brain (@cherrysconeslut)17 - cursed (can be argues as a meme due to its excessive use and popularity, as well as the sort of subtext/emotion behind it that accompanies most memes on this site) (@plaid-n-converse)18 - weve created a new language (@inthishousewekinkshamefnaf)19 - owo (see above)20 - most ___ addition to a post (@plaid-n-converse)21 - it could be argued that meme analysis in itself is a memeFeel free to debate any of these or add any Ive missed, but I think I got them all??
Bailey Jay, Family, and Get Money: Cancel Your Credit Card Before You Die A lady died this past January, and the bank billed her for February and March for their annual service charges on her credit card, and added late fees and interest on the monthly charge. The balance had been $0.00 when she died, but now somewhere around $60.00. A family member placed a call to the Bank Here is the exchange Family Member: am calling to tell you she died back in January Bank The account was never closed and the late fees and charges stil apply. Family Member : 'Maybe, you should turn it over to collections. Bank: 'Since it is two months past due, it already has been.' Family Member So, what will they do when they find out she is dead?' Bank: 'Either report her account to frauds division or report her to the credit bureau, maybe both!' Family Member 'Do you think God will be mad at her?' Bank: 'Excuse me?' Family Member: 'Did you just get what I was telling you - the part about her being dead?' Bank: 'Sir, you'll have to speak to my supervisor.' Supervisor gets on the phone: Family Member 'I'm calling to tell you, she died back in January with a $0 balance. Bank: 'The account was never closed and late fees and charges still apply.' Family Member from her estate?' Bank (Stammer) 'Are you her lawyer?' Family Member 'No, I'm her great nephew. (Lawyer info was given) Bank: 'Could you fax us a certificate of death?' Family Member 'Sure. (Fax number was given) You mean you want to collect After they get the fax Bank: 'Our system just isn't setup for death. I don't know what more I can do to help. Family Member 'Well, if you figure it out, great! If not, you could just keep billing her. She won't care. Bank: 'Well, the late fees and charges do still apply. (What is wrong with these people?1?) Family Member: 'Would you like her new billing address?' Bank: That might help... Family Member: 'Odessa Memorial Cemetery Highway 129, Plot Number 69.' Bank: 'Sir, that's a cemetery ! Family Member: 'And what do you do with dead people on your planet? ohgoditsneph: niniblack: eudoxiav: lawful-evil-novelist: theludicrousrival: billiam-spockspeare: Capitalism will put the bill on your grave and harass your grieving family until they pay One of my cousins passed away unexpectedly at the age of 35, and had been paying back a loan from the bank. About two weeks after his death, my great aunt received a statement from the bank (his mail was being delivered to her house) about a late payment. She called the bank and explained the situation and the only thing a manager could say was “Well, that’s unfortunate. We can arrange so payments will resume in 30 days, that should be enough time to have already paid for the other arrangements.” On top of the unexpected $10,000 funeral, cremation and burial bill, my aunt had to finish paying my uncle’s $5,000 loan. She’s a disabled retiree, on a fixed income, and could barely afford to pay for her insulin for diabetes. She nearly lost her home of more than 40 years. Fuck the system. She didn’t need to pay. When people die, their debts are not their family’s responsibility. In fact, it is outright illegal to try and collect those debts from a person who didn’t cosign the loan and isn’t executing the will. Debts and Deceased Relatives Here’s a link to the detail on that one. Banks count on people not knowing that last comment so that they can still get money They really do. My great-grandmother had her identity stolen before she died at the age of 93, and thousands of charges were racked up on credit cards in her name. After she passed away, they called my mother to try and collect. My mom laughed at them, and told them: “She’s dead, good luck collecting.” The credit card asked my mother, “Don’t you want to clear your grandmother’s debts? Don’t you want to clear her good name?” My mom laughed at them again. “No,” she said. “Because a 90 year old wasn’t watching porn with those credit cards, and her name is fine. Don’t give credit cards to old women likely to pass away soon. This is on you.” Which is how I learned as a young child to always question collection agents, and to never pay off debts that aren’t your own. They often can’t even collect that money from the estate, if there is one, depending on how you write your will and what kind of account the money was kept in. DO NOT EVER PAY OFF DEBTS THAT AREN’T YOUR OWN. If a loved one of yours dies and bill collectors (credit cards, loans, etc etc) start calling you off the hook and request that you pay off their debts, tell them in no uncertain terms to go fuck themselves. The reason being is that the moment you give them a single penny, that debt is now on YOU because you’ve now agreed to pay it off. Do not agree to pay off their debt. Do not pass go, do not give them $200.
Beef, Elf, and News: Shakespeare Insult Kit To create a Shakespearean insult Combine one word from each of the three columns below, prefaced with "Thou" Column 1 Column 2 Column 3 artless ba beslubbering bootless churlish base-court bat-fowling beef-witted beetle-headed boil-brained clapper-clawed clay-brained common-kissing crook-pated dismal-dreaming dizzy-eyed doghearted dread-bolted earth-vexing elf-skinned fat-kidneyed en-sucked Elap-mouthed fly-bitten folly-fallen fool-born full-gorg baggage barnacle bladder bugbear bum-bailey canker-blossom clack-dish clotpole cox codpiece death-token craven currish dissembling errant awning tobbing froward frothy gleeking goatish gorbellied impertinent infectious arring loggerheaded lumpish manmering mang mewling paunchy pribbling puking CL flax-wench flirt-gill foot-licker fustilarian giglet ud haggard half-taced hasty-witted hedge-pig horn-beast hugger-mugger joithead lewdster idle-headed i11-breeding i1l-nurtured knotty-pated milk-livered motley-minded onion-eyed plume-plucked pottle-deep pox-marked reeling-ripe rough-hewn rude-growing maggot-pie malt-worm qualling rank ree measle minnow miscreant moldwarp mumble-news nut-hook pigeon-egg pignut puttock pumpion ratsbane scut skainsmate ruttish saucy pleeny tottering UnMUzzLed shard-borne sheep-biting spur-galled swag-bellied tardy-gaited tickle-brained ve villainous wayward yeasty varlot vassa whey-face d-spotted unchin-snouted weather-bitten you should probably go to TheMetaPicture.com epicjohndoe: Shakespeare Kit

epicjohndoe: Shakespeare Kit

Arguing, Bless Up, and Dogs: My daughter was nervous around dogs, and then she met this guy. He let her love all over him for 20 minutes and then afterwards, her fear was gone. Thank you, sweet boy, for making her into the dog lover that she is! GIBBS NEW YORKERS ARE WILD FAM 😂. They will argue about anything. It’s both a sport and a hobby. In the rest of the country people burn calories by wearing a Fitbit and measuring steps. Nah. New Yorkers will just argue with u until they thin 😂. I love it. I’m not saying they ain’t wonderful people! To the contrary! They be nice as HELL to me! They just love to argue. FOR EXAMPLE. Me: “fam I love getting food off the Halal carts.” NY person: “oh word, son? Oh it’s like THAT my dude? Ayo...Could I ax u a question, son?” *ominous music plays (90s era Mobb Deep)* Me: “sure...(?)” NY person: “ayo son...could I ax u what halal cart u go to my dude?” Me: “ummm like around Greenwich and Murray...(?)” NY person: “son [pregnant pause] SON 😂. U can’t be serriyiss right now son. Is u wildin my dude? *whispering to friend in NY Yankees cap* son...is this dude wildin?” Friend (quietly): “I mean ... he wildin son.” (Everyone in NY got a yes-man with him who wear a yankee fitted real low and who don’t really argue, he just agree with what his friend say lol.) New York person: “ayo u mean...Like up by World Trade?” And I’m like: “I guess...(?)” NY person: “SON! HOW U AINT KNOW THESE THINGS SON? 😂 U gotta know which halal cart got that GOOD good and which one got that mid grade son! Ayo do me a favor son walk a extra couple blocks to Broadway u see a cart that say “HALAL CHICKEN GYROS” with “ONE DOLLAR SAMOSA”...UNDA DAT. U ask for Hakeem. Tell him Donnell sent u. Yeah. Donnell from one two fif. U gotta tell him the street because it’s two Donnells. Son he gon hook u up with the FIRE CHICKEN my dude. Quiet as it’s kept? Prime Minister of Pakistan eat at that cart my dude word is bond I seent him. He had mad security around him and I’m like oh he gotta be a digni-TERRY he ordered chicken biryani with salad son I said ayo get that red sauce too my son and he did my dude it was wild we ate togevva but I don’t tell that story often anyway I’m not sayin don’t eat at them carts u eat at son! I’m just sayin...I WOUL-INNT EAT THERE IF I WAS U. BUT U COULD DO WHAT U FEEL. BLESS UP.” 😂😂😍 [ALL CREDITS IN COMMENT BELOW.]

NEW YORKERS ARE WILD FAM 😂. They will argue about anything. It’s both a sport and a hobby. In the rest of the country people burn calories b...

Instagram, Reddit, and Girl: I think we should hook these two up! The guy from Reddit and the girl from Instagram

I think we should hook these two up! The guy from Reddit and the girl from Instagram

Instagram, Reddit, and Girl: I think we should hook these two up! The guy from Reddit and the girl from Instagram

I think we should hook these two up! The guy from Reddit and the girl from Instagram

Instagram, Reddit, and Girl: I think we should hook these two up! The guy from Reddit and the girl from Instagram

I think we should hook these two up! The guy from Reddit and the girl from Instagram

Dank, Memes, and Mrw: CONGRATS MRW to me when I hook up with my friend on NYE. by Beards_Bears_BSG MORE MEMES

MRW to me when I hook up with my friend on NYE. by Beards_Bears_BSG MORE MEMES

Beef, Elf, and News: Shakespeare Insult Kit To create a Shakespearean insult Combine one word from each of the three columns below, prefaced with "Thou" Column 1 Column 2 Column 3 artless ba beslubbering bootless churlish base-court bat-fowling beef-witted beetle-headed boil-brained clapper-clawed clay-brained common-kissing crook-pated dismal-dreaming dizzy-eyed doghearted dread-bolted earth-vexing elf-skinned fat-kidneyed en-sucked Elap-mouthed fly-bitten folly-fallen fool-born full-gorg baggage barnacle bladder bugbear bum-bailey canker-blossom clack-dish clotpole cox codpiece death-token craven currish dissembling errant awning tobbing froward frothy gleeking goatish gorbellied impertinent infectious arring loggerheaded lumpish manmering mang mewling paunchy pribbling puking CL flax-wench flirt-gill foot-licker fustilarian giglet ud haggard half-taced hasty-witted hedge-pig horn-beast hugger-mugger joithead lewdster idle-headed i11-breeding i1l-nurtured knotty-pated milk-livered motley-minded onion-eyed plume-plucked pottle-deep pox-marked reeling-ripe rough-hewn rude-growing maggot-pie malt-worm qualling rank ree measle minnow miscreant moldwarp mumble-news nut-hook pigeon-egg pignut puttock pumpion ratsbane scut skainsmate ruttish saucy pleeny tottering UnMUzzLed shard-borne sheep-biting spur-galled swag-bellied tardy-gaited tickle-brained ve villainous wayward yeasty varlot vassa whey-face d-spotted unchin-snouted weather-bitten you should probably go to TheMetaPicture.com epicjohndoe: Shakespeare Kit

epicjohndoe: Shakespeare Kit

Beef, Elf, and News: Shakespeare Insult Kit To create a Shakespearean insult Combine one word from each of the three columns below, prefaced with "Thou" Column 1 Column 2 Column 3 artless ba beslubbering bootless churlish base-court bat-fowling beef-witted beetle-headed boil-brained clapper-clawed clay-brained common-kissing crook-pated dismal-dreaming dizzy-eyed doghearted dread-bolted earth-vexing elf-skinned fat-kidneyed en-sucked Elap-mouthed fly-bitten folly-fallen fool-born full-gorg baggage barnacle bladder bugbear bum-bailey canker-blossom clack-dish clotpole cox codpiece death-token craven currish dissembling errant awning tobbing froward frothy gleeking goatish gorbellied impertinent infectious arring loggerheaded lumpish manmering mang mewling paunchy pribbling puking CL flax-wench flirt-gill foot-licker fustilarian giglet ud haggard half-taced hasty-witted hedge-pig horn-beast hugger-mugger joithead lewdster idle-headed i11-breeding i1l-nurtured knotty-pated milk-livered motley-minded onion-eyed plume-plucked pottle-deep pox-marked reeling-ripe rough-hewn rude-growing maggot-pie malt-worm qualling rank ree measle minnow miscreant moldwarp mumble-news nut-hook pigeon-egg pignut puttock pumpion ratsbane scut skainsmate ruttish saucy pleeny tottering UnMUzzLed shard-borne sheep-biting spur-galled swag-bellied tardy-gaited tickle-brained ve villainous wayward yeasty varlot vassa whey-face d-spotted unchin-snouted weather-bitten you should probably go to TheMetaPicture.com epicjohndoe: Shakespeare Kit

epicjohndoe: Shakespeare Kit

Anaconda, Bodies , and Books: The most likely chemical in chocolate that might explain its feel-good effect is PEA, of which there can be up to 700 mg in a 100 g bar (0.7%). Most chocolate contains much less than this, and a more typical amount would be 50-100 mg. In its pure state PEA is an oily liquid with a fishlike smell, and it can be made in the laboratory from ammonia. (PEA has the curious property of absorbing carbon dioxide from the air.) When people are injected with PEA, the level of glucose in their blood goes up and so does their blood pressure. These effects combine to produce a feeling of well-being and alertness. PEA may trigger the release of dopamine, which is the brain chemical that makes us feel happy, in which case PEA would be acting in the same way as amphetamines such as ecstasy. PEA and ecstasy molecules are roughly the same shape and size, and this has led to the suggestion that they might work in the same way, but scientific proof is lacking that they do. Our own bodies produce tiny but detectable amounts of PEA naturally, and it is formed from an essential dietary amino acid called phenylalanine. The level of natural PEA varies and it increases when we are under stress. It is also higher than normal in schizophrenics and hyperactive children, but this is more likely to be a symptom of these conditions rather than their cause. Not everyone can cope with a sudden influx of PEA, which is why some people are sensitive to chocolate, often suffering a violent headache if they eat too much. This happens because the excess PEA constricts the walls of blood vessels in the brain. The human body has little use for PEA and employs an enzyme, monoamine oxidase, to dispose of it. People whose bodies are intolerant of chocolate appear to have difficulty making enough of the enzyme to prevent the PEA building up to levels that triggers migraines. symbisexual-disaster: Trying to learn more about chocolate and PEA, thought this was an interesting resource! Link In order to get his fix, Venom probably stops the MAO enzyme from getting rid of the PEA. Then he just sucks it up himself so that Eddie doesn’t get headaches. If I’m understanding this right, a chocolate-intolerant person would greatly benefit from bonding with a symbiote. Since chocolate-intolerants don’t make enough of the MAO enzyme, they need to either a) not eat chocolate ever if they don’t want a migraine or b) hook up with a symbiote that will slurp it up for them!  So it might be fun to write either Eddie or an OC who could never enjoy chocolate before, but after bonding, somehow is actually able to? Fun fun. 

symbisexual-disaster: Trying to learn more about chocolate and PEA, thought this was an interesting resource! Link In order to get his fix, ...

Beef, Elf, and News: Shakespeare Insult Kit To create a Shakespearean insult Combine one word from each of the three columns below, prefaced with "Thou" Column 1 Column 2 Column 3 artless ba beslubbering bootless churlish base-court bat-fowling beef-witted beetle-headed boil-brained clapper-clawed clay-brained common-kissing crook-pated dismal-dreaming dizzy-eyed doghearted dread-bolted earth-vexing elf-skinned fat-kidneyed en-sucked Elap-mouthed fly-bitten folly-fallen fool-born full-gorg baggage barnacle bladder bugbear bum-bailey canker-blossom clack-dish clotpole cox codpiece death-token craven currish dissembling errant awning tobbing froward frothy gleeking goatish gorbellied impertinent infectious arring loggerheaded lumpish manmering mang mewling paunchy pribbling puking CL flax-wench flirt-gill foot-licker fustilarian giglet ud haggard half-taced hasty-witted hedge-pig horn-beast hugger-mugger joithead lewdster idle-headed i11-breeding i1l-nurtured knotty-pated milk-livered motley-minded onion-eyed plume-plucked pottle-deep pox-marked reeling-ripe rough-hewn rude-growing maggot-pie malt-worm qualling rank ree measle minnow miscreant moldwarp mumble-news nut-hook pigeon-egg pignut puttock pumpion ratsbane scut skainsmate ruttish saucy pleeny tottering UnMUzzLed shard-borne sheep-biting spur-galled swag-bellied tardy-gaited tickle-brained ve villainous wayward yeasty varlot vassa whey-face d-spotted unchin-snouted weather-bitten you should probably go to TheMetaPicture.com epicjohndoe: Shakespeare Kit

epicjohndoe: Shakespeare Kit

Beef, Elf, and News: Shakespeare Insult Kit To create a Shakespearean insult Combine one word from each of the three columns below, prefaced with "Thou" Column 1 Column 2 Column 3 artless ba beslubbering bootless churlish base-court bat-fowling beef-witted beetle-headed boil-brained clapper-clawed clay-brained common-kissing crook-pated dismal-dreaming dizzy-eyed doghearted dread-bolted earth-vexing elf-skinned fat-kidneyed en-sucked Elap-mouthed fly-bitten folly-fallen fool-born full-gorg baggage barnacle bladder bugbear bum-bailey canker-blossom clack-dish clotpole cox codpiece death-token craven currish dissembling errant awning tobbing froward frothy gleeking goatish gorbellied impertinent infectious arring loggerheaded lumpish manmering mang mewling paunchy pribbling puking CL flax-wench flirt-gill foot-licker fustilarian giglet ud haggard half-taced hasty-witted hedge-pig horn-beast hugger-mugger joithead lewdster idle-headed i11-breeding i1l-nurtured knotty-pated milk-livered motley-minded onion-eyed plume-plucked pottle-deep pox-marked reeling-ripe rough-hewn rude-growing maggot-pie malt-worm qualling rank ree measle minnow miscreant moldwarp mumble-news nut-hook pigeon-egg pignut puttock pumpion ratsbane scut skainsmate ruttish saucy pleeny tottering UnMUzzLed shard-borne sheep-biting spur-galled swag-bellied tardy-gaited tickle-brained ve villainous wayward yeasty varlot vassa whey-face d-spotted unchin-snouted weather-bitten you should probably go to TheMetaPicture.com epicjohndoe: Shakespeare Kit

epicjohndoe: Shakespeare Kit