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buttsoclock: fakehistory: Alan Turing creates the famous “Turing Test” (1950) As someone who works for an online chat customer service department, we get questions like this a lot. Or, more frequently, we get people trolling us because they just assume we’re computers and want to see how the “AI” will react to certain questions/comments. My favorite was:Customer: HelloMe: Hi, [customer name]! How can I help you?Customer: I’m having trouble with my product.Me: I’m sorry to hear that. I’d be happy to help. Can you please describe the problem you’re having?Customer: It’s you. You are the problem. I’m breaking up with you.Me: But…what about the kids?Customer: oops i didn’t think you were real bye *ends chat*: Jessica: Welcome to AT&T Chat. How may we help you today? Me: are you real Jessica: Hi! My name is Jessica. How can I help? Jessica: Nice to meet you, sure I'm a real person) Me: owo Jessica: UwU buttsoclock: fakehistory: Alan Turing creates the famous “Turing Test” (1950) As someone who works for an online chat customer service department, we get questions like this a lot. Or, more frequently, we get people trolling us because they just assume we’re computers and want to see how the “AI” will react to certain questions/comments. My favorite was:Customer: HelloMe: Hi, [customer name]! How can I help you?Customer: I’m having trouble with my product.Me: I’m sorry to hear that. I’d be happy to help. Can you please describe the problem you’re having?Customer: It’s you. You are the problem. I’m breaking up with you.Me: But…what about the kids?Customer: oops i didn’t think you were real bye *ends chat*

buttsoclock: fakehistory: Alan Turing creates the famous “Turing Test” (1950) As someone who works for an online chat customer service d...

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Brain glitch stories: tumblr Follow bitchhpunk debrides I worked with toddlers and pre schoolers for three years. Sometimes I accidentally slip and tell a friend to say bye to an inanimate object (say bye bus!) & occasionally they unthinkingly just do it I'm glad there's a teacher version of accidentally called teacher mom when I worked at Medieval Times occasionally I would slip in real life and call people my lord" mugsandpugs1 One time during family prayer, dad began: "our father who art in heaven, American Airlines, how can I help you? thomrainierskies One time my dad went to the White Castle drive-thru and the lady (who was supposed to say Welcome to White Castle, what's your crave?) asked, "Welcome to White Castle, what's your problem? She apologized profusely while my dad proceeded to lose his shit laughing mirab3lle Yesterday I went to Wendy's and the girl said "Welcome to McDonalds" and then just sighed Somebody in the elevator asked me what floor I lived on, and I answered please open your books to page eight", and we just kind of stared at each other blinking i work retail full time and my script gets frequently messy - ill ask the same question twice, or say "$2.60 is your total while handing back their change, or say "how are you doing today?" instead of "have a good day! like name it ive bungled it but anyway, this lady came thru my line buying a book and the review on the front said: 'few books are well written, fewer still are important, and this book manages to be both as i handed her the bag i was trying to say thanks, youre all set and instead my brain mashed up the review and i said thanks, youre important there was this short pause in which i tried to figure out what the fuck id just said she blinked and then said "oh thank youl youre important tool the real kicker was one of my coworkers. when i was relating this story later his response was "at least you said something NICE. last week i accidentally combined youre welcome and 'no problem into youre a problem" one time, since I used to work as a daycare teacher with preschoolers, i was on my college campus in my gym, and someone was running in the weight room and tripped over a machine and fell, and instead of offering to help, I just stared and said, This is why we use our walking feet. we both sat there for a while until the guy nodded and said, yeah, okay, i should've done that." gin-and-eschatonic I've spent a good chunk of time working in kitchens, so I still will reflexively say shit like "behind and "coming around" as I maneuver through spaces and around people which, actually not such a bad thing. I'm a big guy and can come across as imposing pretty easily. The position calls can help defuse that, and also help avoid collisions Less good is the time my brain was half functional and I let slip a coming with a knife" while grocery shopping. THAT took some explaining I work in an office and send tens of emails to customers every day. Once my Hello mum, as agreed, please find attached the ticked you requested. Thanks, Alex narwhalsarefalling i worked as a camp counselor, and i would have the kids tap somewhere on my legs if they needed something because im a pretty tall dude. today asked my cat if he needed something sugar4ndroses I have woken up in a cold sweat saying is that for here or to go? only-in-movies Conversely, in my old job I rarely answered outside calls so was only used to picking up to colleagues in random ways. So one day while fixing something at a different desk I answered what I thought was an internal call with "how do, I have usurped admin only to realise it was external and a board member on the line The CEO banned me from the phones while trying not to laugh I have worked in a variety of café/restaurant jobs, and in my most recent cafe job people were allowed to bring their leashed dogs through the line with them. One day someone came through the line with an adorable pup, and when the dog looked up at me as I was checking them out, I said "would you like that dog for here or to go? Source debrides 438,007 notes Brain glitch stories
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Sometimes your brain just glitches: tumblr Follow bitchhpunk debrides I worked with toddlers and pre schoolers for three years. Sometimes I accidentally slip and tell a friend to say bye to an inanimate object(say bye bus) & occasionally they unthinkingly just do it autisticcole I'm glad there's a teacher version of accidentally called teacher 'mom when I worked at Medieval Times occasionally I would slip in real life and call people my lord One time during family prayer, dad began: our father who art in heaven, American Airlines, how can I help you? One time my dad went to the White Castle drive-thru and the lady (who was supposed to say Welcome to White Castle, what's your crave?) asked, "Welcome to White Castle, what's your problem? She apologized profusely while my dad proceeded to lose his shit laughing. Yesterday I went to Wendy's and the girl said "Welcome to McDonalds" and then just sighed Somebody in the elevator asked me what floor I lived on, and I answered please open your books to page eight, and we just kind of stared at each other, blinking work retail full time and my script gets frequently messy -ill ask the same question twice, or say $2.60 is your total" while handing back their change, or say "how are you doing today?" instead of have a good day! like name it ive bungled it but anyway, this lady came thru my line buying a book and the review on the front said: Tew books are well wntten, fewer still are important, and this book manages to be both as i handed her the bag i was trying to say "thanks, youre all set and instead my brain mashed up the review and i said thanks, youre important there was this short pause in which i tried to figure out what the fuck id just said. she blinked and then said oh thank you! youre important too! the real kicker was one of my coworkers. when i was relating this story later his response was "at least you said something NICE last week i accidentally combined youre welcome' and 'no problem' into 'youre a problem agrestenoir one time, since I used to work as a daycare teacher with preschoolers, i was on my college campus in my gym, and someone was running in the weight room and tripped over a machine and fell, and instead of offering to help, I just stared and said, This is why we use our walking feet we both sat there for a while until the guy nodded and said, yeah, okay, i should ve done that. I've spent a good chunk of time working in kitchens, so I still will reflexivey say shit like behind" and coming around as I maneuver through spaces and around people. Which, actually, not such a bad thing. I'm a big guy and can come across as mposing pretty easily. The position calls can help defuse that, and also help avoid collisions. Less good is the time my brain was half functional and I let slip a coming with a knife" while grocery shopping. THAT took some explaining I work in an office and send tens of emails to customers every day. Once my Hello mum, as agreed, please find attached the ticked you requested. Thanks Alex i worked as a camp counselor, and i would have the kids tap somewhere on my legs if they needed something because im a pretty tall dude. today asked my cat t he needed something I have woken up in a cold sweat saying is that for here or to go? only-in-movies Conversely, in my old job I rarely answered outside calls so was only used to picking up to colleagues in random ways. So one day while fixing something at a different desk I answered what I thought was an internal call with "how do, I have usurped admin" only to realise it was external and a board member on the line. The CEO banned me from the phones while trying not to laugh. I have worked in a variety of caté/restaurant jobs, and in my most recent cafe job people were allowed to bring their leashed dogs through the line with them. One day someone came through the line with an adorable pup, and when the dog looked up at me as I was checking them out, I said "would you like that dog for here or to go? only-in-movies Conversely, in my old job I rarely answered outside calls so was only used to picking up to colleagues in random ways. So one day while fixing something at a different desk I answered what I thought was an internal call with "how do, I have usurped admin" only to realise it was external and a board member on the line. The CEO banned me from the phones while trying not to laugh I have worked in a variety of caté/restaurant jobs, and in my most recent cafe job people were allowed to bring their leashed dogs through the line with them One day someone came through the line with an adorable pup, and when the dog looked up at me as I was checking them out, I said "would you like that dog for here or to go? Source debrides 438,007 notes Sometimes your brain just glitches
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<p>She Was Stopped From Making A Big Deposit At The Bank. What She Does Next Hilarious.</p>: She Was Stopped From Making A Big Deposit At The Bank. What She Does Next Hilarious A little old lady went into the headquarters of the Bank of America one day, carrying a large bag of money. She insisted that she must speak with the president of the bank to open a savings account because, "It's a lot of money!" The receptionist objected, stating, "You can't just walk in here and expect to see the president of the Bank of America. He's a very busy man." "But I am here to make a very large cash deposit," added the old woman. The receptionist momentarily looked at the sack of money, then walked back to one of the rear offices. She came back and said, "You're in luck this morning, he will see you," and ushered her in to see the president of the Bank of America When she walked in to a large office with a nicely tailored man behind a great oaken desk. The bank president stood up and asked "How can I help you?" She replied, "I would like to open a savings account," and placed the bag of money on his desk "How much would you like to deposit?" he asked curiously "$180,000, if you please," and dumped the cash out of her bag onto his desk. The President was surprised to see all this cash, so he asked her, "Ma'am, I'm surprised you're carrying so much cash around, especially a woman at your stage in life Where did you come by this kind of money?" The old lady coyly replied, "I make bets." Surprised, the president then asked, "Bets? What kind of bets?" The old woman said, "Well, for example, I'II bet you $25,000 that your balls are square." "What?!" cried the man, "you want to bet me $25,000 that my balls, my testicles, are square?" He could hardly hold back from laughing "Yes, you heard me. In fact, by ten o'clock tomorrow morning, I'll bet you $25,000 that your balls will be square. The man smiled broadly, thinking he had a live one. "You've got yourself a bet!" and shook her hand The little old lady then said, "Okay, but since there is a lot of money involved, may I bring my lawyer with me tomorrow at 10:00 a.m. as a witness?" "Sure!" replied the confident president. That night, the president got very nervous about the bet and spent a long time in front of a mirror checking his balls, turning from side to side, again and again. He thoroughly checked them out until he was sure that there was absolutely no way his balls were square and that he would win the bet. The next morning, at precisely 10:00 a.m., the little old lady appeared with her lawyer at the president's office. She introduced the lawyer to the president and repeated the bet "$25,000 says the president's balls are square!" The president agreed with the bet again and the old lady asked him to drop his pants so they could all see. The president complied The little old lady peered closely at his balls and then asked if she could feel them "Well, Okay," said the president, obviously embarrassed. Thinking to himself, "$25,000 is a lot of money, I guess it's okay." He then said, "Yes, $25,000 is a lot of money, so l guess you should be absolutely sure." As the old woman started to feel the banker's testicles, he noticed that the lawyer was quietly banging his head against the wall The president asked the old lady, "What the hell's the matter with your lawyer?" The old lady replied, "Nothing, except I bet him $100,000 that at 10:00 a.m. today, l'd have the balls of the president of the Bank of America in my hands." <p>She Was Stopped From Making A Big Deposit At The Bank. What She Does Next Hilarious.</p>
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geneeste: agenderlal: ralndrops: I CANT BREATHE haha its so funny how he just harasses her at work where she’s not allowed to end the conversation Okay. We’re going to sit down and have a talk. I work in customer support, and 99% of my job is interacting directly with customers. In an average week, I have around 300 live chats with customers. This is just chat, this doesn’t count emails or phone support. In the year and a half since I’ve been in my current job, I have: repeatedly been called a bitch and a cunt; been told to go fuck myself and to fuck off; been explicitly propositioned for sexual favors; I have been repeatedly harassed by at least two men who describe to me in detail the state of their genitals; have had multiple customers pretend to have medical emergencies/pretend to be dying; have heard basically every disgusting thing you can think of regarding bodily functions, and then some. Do I enjoy those chats when I get them? No. But do you know what I really, really dread? The kinds of chats that really stress me out? It’s chats like the one in the pictures. It’s chats in which the customers aren’t being explicitly awful. Where their harassment is mild, conversations that, on the surface, are downright pleasant. Because every time I end a chat of this nature, every time I make the decision to ban a customer from our chat service, I have to defend it. I have to go to my employer and explain to them why I think a customer acted inappropriately enough that I refused to help them potentially spend money on our service or product. And it’s so, so hard to explain this kind of harassment, the kind of menace these chats communicate. William Holcomb up there, he doesn’t care that I’m a person, because to him I’m not. I’m not a person he’s ‘flirting’ with - I’m very far away, so far away in fact that I’m an object. I’m an easy target. He knows that as long as he isn’t too obvious, he can keep me on chat and play whatever game he came to play. He knows he has power over me that I don’t want him to have. Now, I’m lucky. My current employer is wonderful about these kinds of situations, and gives me the latitude to act on my best judgement. But I’m still working for a company that’s trying to make a profit, and that’s in the back of my mind whenever situations like this pop up, which is not infrequently. And I haven’t always worked for companies who cared about their employees in this way. Lots of CS agents don’t either. This is not flirting, and it isn’t funny. This is harassment, of someone who can’t really tell you to stop. Shame on you. : William Holcomb @Hulkomb I'm a bad flirter : ( Jeasica S. Hi, I'm Jessica! How can I help you fulfill your adidas needs today? What are you up to Did you need help with any Visitor: Jessica S.: adidas items today? Visitor:No, just lonely Jessica S.: This chat is for adidas items only Visitor:can we act like we're talking about shoes but really we're just talking Visitor: whats your favorite shoe We have to actually talk about the properties and technology in the shoe Jessica S.: How i wip Visitor:nikes look cooler tho Jessica S.: They weigh 6.7 ounces. Did you have any other adidas related questions? Visitor: you single Jessica S.: No. Did you have any other Visitor:one day we'll be able to tell our adidas related questions kids we met via adidas customer service chat room Jessica S. Iam married. Did you have any other adidas related questions? Visitor: 50% ofmarriagesiend in divorce geneeste: agenderlal: ralndrops: I CANT BREATHE haha its so funny how he just harasses her at work where she’s not allowed to end the conversation Okay. We’re going to sit down and have a talk. I work in customer support, and 99% of my job is interacting directly with customers. In an average week, I have around 300 live chats with customers. This is just chat, this doesn’t count emails or phone support. In the year and a half since I’ve been in my current job, I have: repeatedly been called a bitch and a cunt; been told to go fuck myself and to fuck off; been explicitly propositioned for sexual favors; I have been repeatedly harassed by at least two men who describe to me in detail the state of their genitals; have had multiple customers pretend to have medical emergencies/pretend to be dying; have heard basically every disgusting thing you can think of regarding bodily functions, and then some. Do I enjoy those chats when I get them? No. But do you know what I really, really dread? The kinds of chats that really stress me out? It’s chats like the one in the pictures. It’s chats in which the customers aren’t being explicitly awful. Where their harassment is mild, conversations that, on the surface, are downright pleasant. Because every time I end a chat of this nature, every time I make the decision to ban a customer from our chat service, I have to defend it. I have to go to my employer and explain to them why I think a customer acted inappropriately enough that I refused to help them potentially spend money on our service or product. And it’s so, so hard to explain this kind of harassment, the kind of menace these chats communicate. William Holcomb up there, he doesn’t care that I’m a person, because to him I’m not. I’m not a person he’s ‘flirting’ with - I’m very far away, so far away in fact that I’m an object. I’m an easy target. He knows that as long as he isn’t too obvious, he can keep me on chat and play whatever game he came to play. He knows he has power over me that I don’t want him to have. Now, I’m lucky. My current employer is wonderful about these kinds of situations, and gives me the latitude to act on my best judgement. But I’m still working for a company that’s trying to make a profit, and that’s in the back of my mind whenever situations like this pop up, which is not infrequently. And I haven’t always worked for companies who cared about their employees in this way. Lots of CS agents don’t either. This is not flirting, and it isn’t funny. This is harassment, of someone who can’t really tell you to stop. Shame on you.
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