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Alive, Beard, and Children: feniczoroark: minority-cubed: princemetalthunder: skrill-cosby: drucila616: How Do Court Reporters Keep Straight Faces?These are from a book called Disorder in the Courts and are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and published by court reporters that had the torment of staying calm while the exchanges were taking place.ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning?WITNESS: He said, ‘Where am I, Cathy?’ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you?WITNESS: My name is Susan!_______________________________ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.____________________________________________ATTORNEY: Are you sexually active?WITNESS: No, I just lie there.____________________________________________ATTORNEY: What is your date of birth?WITNESS: July 18th.ATTORNEY: What year?WITNESS: Every year._____________________________________ATTORNEY: How old is your son, the one living with you?WITNESS: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can’t remember which.ATTORNEY: How long has he lived with you?WITNESS: Forty-five years._________________________________ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?WITNESS: Yes.ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory?WITNESS: I forget..ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot?___________________________________________ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn’t it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn’t know about it until the next morning?WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam?____________________________________ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the 20-year-old, how old is he?WITNESS: He’s 20, much like your IQ.___________________________________________ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken?WITNESS: Are you shitting me?_________________________________________ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?WITNESS: Yes.ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time?WITNESS: Getting laid____________________________________________ATTORNEY: She had three children , right?WITNESS: Yes.ATTORNEY: How many were boys?WITNESS: None.ATTORNEY: Were there any girls?WITNESS: Your Honor, I think I need a different attorney. Can I get a new attorney?____________________________________________ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated?WITNESS: By death..ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated?WITNESS: Take a guess.___________________________________________ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual?WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beardATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female?WITNESS: Unless the Circus was in town I’m going with male._____________________________________ATTORNEY: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?WITNESS: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.______________________________________ATTORNEY: Doctor , how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people?WITNESS: All of them. The live ones put up too much of a fight._________________________________________ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go to?WITNESS: Oral…_________________________________________ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 PMATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time?WITNESS: If not, he was by the time I finished.____________________________________________ATTORNEY: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?WITNESS: Are you qualified to ask that question?______________________________________And last:ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?WITNESS: No.ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure?WITNESS: No.ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing?WITNESS: No..ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?WITNESS: No.ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor?WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.ATTORNEY: I see, but could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law. oh my god these are great fuck this is like reading a jokes and not actual quotes The last one is how I feel about all my schoolmates I can feel the frustration
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Apparently, Chris Evans, and Fuck You: Jennifer Medina @jenniferjmedina Yup, looks about what was expected. Steven Pruitt has made nearly 3 million edits on Wikipedia and writtern 35,000 original articles all for free. CBSNEWS.COM Meet the man behind a third of what's on Wikipedia George @geochirper this tweet is fucking horrible this man is literally providing the world with free knowledge and you think criticising his appearance is funny? Fuck you lesbiansandpuns: naamahdarling: infowarts: infowarts: wormbabie: concretecatholic: celticpyro: positive-memes: People should thank this man Sorry Jennifer not everybody can look like Chris Evans while doing a huge service to the general public. Anyway this guy is amazing. Did you see the video? He has such a glowing personality and his eagerness to share knowledge is infectious. some people will take any chance they can to dehumanize fat people theres also been a motion to write more articles about women because the gap in articles about men vs articles about women is astronomically huge, and he’s written hundreds or thousands of them and is a huge proponent of this. he’s done a lot of great work and he spends countless hours a day researching things so that we have access to that knowledge. he’s a hero. he doesnt do it for money either, tho apparently his regular job also involves research. but he does this purely because he believes in how important it is for information to be free. he’s done 600 articles on women as a part of this push for more He looks like a nice guy and I know people like to sneer at it but Wikipedia is a good, ACCESSIBLE starting point for learning about things, so like, haters can fuck all the way off. “How much money do you make from this?”“None.” “So why do you do it?” “The idea of it, making it all free, fascinates me. My mother grew up in the Soviet Union. So I’m very conscious of what it can mean to make knowledge free. To make information free.”  how can you hear that and think anything other than that this is a brilliant, kind, generous man
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Being Alone, Batman, and Books: LIBRARIAN HUMOR ISEE WHAT YOU DID THERE 0 dracophile: randomthingieshere: pheenixwright: invenblocker: pheenixwright: invenblocker: pheenixwright: invenblocker: forthefuns: follow forthefuns for more funny stuff Your honor! Please direct your attention towards the manga.As you can see there are small pieces of paper sticking out of every volume.But no such paper is sticking out of the Batman comic.The reason? The Batman book doesn’t belong to the library. The photographer put it there to take a picture. Once again making hasty assumptions, Wright?First of all, I’d like to direct the court’s attention to this particular spot, in the top right-hand corner.Notice how the words are blocking the top of the Batman book.With this in mind, how can you claim that there is “no such paper sticking out of the Batman comic”?! Say whaaaat?Well uhmLook at the size of the paper pieces, they’re all sticking pretty far out.If there was paper in the batman comic, it would be big enough to stick up over the text.And while gravity does exist, it probably won’t make the paper do a 90 degree turn and just lean horisontally left at the middle.Still grasping for straws, Wright?Hypothetically, if there were a paper there, this picture would not be able to prove its presence. I’ve taken the liberty of drawing a diagram to illustrate my point. We are faced with three possibilities. It is possible that (1) the paper was simply tucked in deeper than the others.Paper is a soft material, Wright. It’s not unreasonable for it to do a (2) 90 degree turn. Or perhaps, (3) a paper does not exist there at all. Either way, you cannot prove your client innocent without sufficient evidence.   Which, of course, is impossible thanks to the obtrusive words. I’m sorry Edgeworth.I concede that I can’t disprove theory 1But the image you submited for theory 2 is contradictory.Look at the tilt of the other papers. They clearly prove how much the paper would tilt.And theory 3 is my point! Why would the library’s book not have this piece of paper when the other library books do?While you still have thory 1, there is another contradiction.The books are not in alphabetical order, this proves that the batman comic was placed there specifically for the picture! Ack.(Perhaps I should’ve left the artistry to the forensic artist…)Now hold it right there! It doesn’t matter which direction the paper is going because it’s impossible to prove it even exists!Those theories are all the same! We do not have enough information to prove them. There could be an infinite amount of papers in there for all we know. I simply presented them only so that the court could better understand your baseless conjecture!… I suppose the order of the books do seem out of the ordinary. However, therein lies not just one possibility. Clearly, those are Japanese graphic novels, also known as “manga”. And the Batman comic book is a graphic novel, too, no?Seeing as it currently has only graphic novels in the shelf, it is possible that any other novels have simply not yet been restocked. Asserting whether or not this effect was deliberate is useless– there is no way of knowing if the photographer and the captioner are the same person, let alone their involvement in this picture.Face it Wright, you can’t prove any of these groundless accusations! Did everyone just ignore the library sticker?

dracophile: randomthingieshere: pheenixwright: invenblocker: pheenixwright: invenblocker: pheenixwright: invenblocker: forthefuns: ...

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Tumblr, Blog, and Mad: corgikistan: How can you get mad at this face? :3

corgikistan: How can you get mad at this face? :3

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Fail, News, and Shit: Do you believe President Trump is a racist? Yeah. Yeah. No question. How can you say that? shadesoforlando: now-exiting-fuckability: whyyoustabbedme: why in the world are we still asking this question in 2019? Trump: says and does racist things. People: call Trump racist. Journalists and politicians: Ok but like There’s no benefit in her going on live television and saying Trump is a racist without elaborating on the subject What he’s asking is a leading question and sure, taking his ‘how can you say that’ out of context works well to make him seem like he supports Trump but that’s not how it was said in the interview. How it was said was to get her to continue to talk about why Trump is a racist Don’t believe me? Skip ahead in this video to 0:15 seconds and listen to the entire thing in context. She then goes on to ELABORATE on how he uses dogwhistles and his reaction to Charlottesville (by calling Nazi’s fine people) so people who tune in to the interview can draw connections to what she’s saying as opposed to just reacting, like op did, to the exact words that are said. I think too many people on here fail to realize that news, real news, isn’t done by just saying shit. You have to be able to back it up and in order to do so, you need to be able to spell something out for people who don’t get it. And someone who already has been criticized by people for her views (including by people on here, bizarrely, because they keep things she’s said out of context) need to be able to get all the information out there.
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Head, Spider, and SpiderMan: chase-is-not-crash: segashark: chase-is-not-crash: segashark: chase-is-not-crash: segashark: chase-is-not-crash: segashark: chase-is-not-crash: segashark: chase-is-not-crash: segashark: chase-is-not-crash: segashark: chase2452: wow can u believe peter parker is a trans boy?? iconic. He’s not. if he’s not trans, then how can you explain THIS: You know if you’re going to call me a transphobe do It in the actual post and not in the tags. better? Yeah. But sadly you’re wrong, I’m no transphobe. are you sure? Yes because your straw man argument is completely idiotic. Peter Parker, the well established superhero isn’t trans. It’s simple fact. If the creator wanted them to be trans he would’ve said so. Now I have no issues if you want to make this head cannon but don’t try to push it as fact. pushing peter parker to be cis is also technically a headcanon You do realize being cis is the default. You literally come out of the womb one gender or the other. You can’t be born trans. And how is a fact of the character headcanon? to quote you, “I have no issues if you want to make this head cannon but don’t try to push it as fact.” Canonically he’s cis since the wiki calls him a male. Not trans male. And him being cis isn’t headcanon that’s how to creator intended him to be. And when I say “you can’t be born trans” I’m saying you can’t be born as the opposite gender you were given at birth because if you were you wouldn’t be trans you’d be the opposite gender. fun fact: transgender men have always been and will always be male Yes they will be. And yes it’s stated specifically in that characters wiki he is. But if spider man was meant to be trans wouldn’t it also be stated? trans until proven cis

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Bitch, Food, and Fucking: LO 29% 5:04 PM staggot + astral-nymph staggot Not following each othe staggot Choke bitch astral--nymph Why are you being so aggressive over people asking for proof? staggot I'm gonna give people proof I was abused as a child... ok astral--nymph You're asking people to give you their hard earned money for free We simply want to know that our money will be going to good use and not being wasted on luxury items bv someone takina advan- GIF Say your thing 29% 5:04 PM staggot + astral-nymph items by someone taking advan- tage of our good will. You can't treat people like this and tell them to die or choke. It makes you look like a dumbass and quite frankly you don't deserve anyones money if you're going to treat anybody like this. astral--nymph And nowhere in that post did you mention child abuse. How can you say we're asking for proof you were abused as a child if you didnt mention it? astral--nymph No. We're asking for proof of your bills. Proof you dont have the money in your bank accounts to pay everything yourself. Proof that you are unemployed or that you dont have enough of a wage to sustain yourself GIF Say your thing 29% 5:04 PM staggot + astral-nymph astral--nymp No one is asking you to prove that you were a victim of this or that. We just want proof that you actually need financial assistance. And so far you've proven that you don't deserve our money anyway with that fucking gross attitude of yours. astral--nymph That's all I have to say about it Take from it what you will, but stop telling people to kill themselves You're no better than the people you claim abused vou and your abuse doesnt give you an excuse to act in such a way either staggot Didn't read staggot You're a bitch GIF Say your thing POSTS LIKES FOLLOWING staggot Hi everybody, I was assaulted by transphobes for trying to use the bathroom at a bar the other day I visited my parents to talk to them about it, and they blamed me for not having "common sense" so l've decided I have to cut them out of my life even though they pay my car insurance and phone bill and provide me with food sometimes. If anybody is able to help me financially right now this is an emergency Here's a link to my PayPal https://www.paypal.com/ cgi-bin/webscr?cmd xclick&hosted_button_id-RSFC5VJB4ABRE - s- Or you can send money through the cash app my cashtag is $puppies3000 jbobbington celestial-naiad: Hey guys. If you see this post by @staggot rolling around I’d advise that you pass on donating to them. It’s in poor judgment to donate to people who don’t provide proof of their struggles, but it’s also in poor taste to donate to someone who treats people like this simply for asking for said proof. There’s absolutely no reason to act like this, unless of course you’re a lying asshole who just wants money for free. Tagging @nunyabizni @klubbhead @tooiconic @rallythedead @its-bewitched @robert-the-asshole @takashi0 Please help spread this around. I’d hate for anybody to lose their hard earned money donating to this person.
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