🔥 Popular | Latest

Animals, Bad, and Cars: 366 WTNT41 KNHC 102055 TCDAT1 Hurricane Florence Discussion Number 46 NWS National Hurricane Center Miami FL 500 PM AST Mon Sep 10 2018 AL062018 Unfortunately, the models were right. Florence has rapidly intensifled into an extremely dangerous hurricane, with 30-second GOES-16 visible imagery showing well-defined eyewall mesovortices rotating inside of the eye. A NOAA Hurricane Hunter aircraft found peak SFMR winds of about 120 kt, with flight-level winds and dropsonde measurements also supporting that value for the initial wind speed estimate. Notably, the aircraft data also show the size of the hurricane-force winds has doubled in the past 12 hours thehmarie1089: your-reference-here: This is from the forecast discussion of Major Hurricane Florence from this afternoon. As a meteorologist, when I saw this, my heart sank. They don’t use wording like this for every storm. Florence is going to be a devastating. There will be huge amounts of flooding, both from inland rain and from costal storm surge. Winds are going to be some of the strongest you can get from a hurricane. People within the path of this storm could lose everything. If you know anyone who lives on the North or South Carolina coast, tell them that if there’s an evacuation ordered, they need to get the hell out. Do not take chances with this one. Reblogging again to add a list of things/essentials from a friend who lives on the NC coast and has weathered hurricanes and other bad weather: - toiletries (paper towels, toilet paper, baby wipes for “bathing” in case power water go out) - water, 1 gallon per person for at least 7 days (err on the side of caution if possible); more if you have animals!! - non perishable food items, if you get canned food make sure you have a can OPENER - pet food supplies, if you’re really worried about flooding it may be beneficial to get life vests for your pets, also find a way to put identification information on them! - batteries - flashlights - battery packs for cell phones charged up in case of loss of power - filled cars with gas filled gas can(s) - get all essentials like passports, important docs, and cherished items together ready to go - just in case, determine a way to get onto your roof safely - fill bathtubs with water so if water isn’t available you can refill the toilets to keep flushing and keep waste to a minimum - if you have dogs look up how to make a makeshift potty, you can use a hard baby pool and some sod potentially - check your prescriptions and get them refilled now if necessary - if you’re taking insulin and lose power, fill a separate cooler for your insulin than the one you would use for food. Insulin food If your place begins to flood get the hell OUT of the water!!! There is no telling if you have a live electrical charge in there! Do not cross any water you cannot see the bottom of the ground in. I’m serious. Read up on flash floods and common safety tips.

thehmarie1089: your-reference-here: This is from the forecast discussion of Major Hurricane Florence from this afternoon. As a meteorologis...

Save
Af, Anaconda, and Confused: Thread I am about to tell you an epic tale about subterfuge, dating in the 21st century and the fall of human civilization. This actually happened to me and it could happen to you too. Get some popcorn. Thread* 48 PM 39 Aug 18 2,419 Retweets 4,030 Ls So a few weeks egolwas on the Tinder machine ahopping my soul around and t vary attractwe young laxty No bio. Fairly innocuous l text her n we make amall tak abt work or a bit than she gois,uaty, thawa hic huge precentation im werkin on for my job, would you be ottended if I got back to you ve gol more free time? youre cute and t want to meer you Im just oo busy m thought wel that's an owerty elaborate way to ghest somsone i say TolI woudrt be offended Isotaty get t me up when you're iree thank you t was wormed you late buri for sure ra test you in Sk" ฮ n my head Tm Two waaks pais 1 compktdy sorget about her then I remember and go back o tinder andic ontt ind i that's ward she deleted her tinder buti take it s overly elaborate ghoating methods Then yesterday Iget a vext THEY IM omomow t was wondering if you wanted wa coukd go get drinks ater and see what happens m like wel iibe daned Genuinely didnt think she would message me around todoy and tomonow but just conte around 6 and 11 meet you try the stage thes weead ot say sure thing lpoking formand bo it This moming she texts me at 9 am hey it's gonna rain today but i thin it shoud clear up in time for our de I'm ike coot ill be there Iplay football wth gerwond aliar soday and aspresa m iscredulty at the stuation Ifind her Instagrmt says singer actress, model, 3000 ollewersand Im Ehe uugghhhh I dunno bro. THIS SHIT FEELS OFf but fuck it 0 I make my way to Unign Square Eat a hot dog and look Ơwer by this open tot by and about 100 ppl and camerus and sh Manhattn shit e random a She leats me eym neinng a lttle tn but jut meet me by te stage then we can golwaen't gonna stand n fhont of e fucking stage sol stand af so tha ade a bit 0 Eventusly ee a giiming towards bockstage wn two enonmoue bodyguards in sunglaases and reaise its her and fm thinking WHAT THN l stay back and oosess the snuation and fuck imma playing and she gets on the stage and im so fucking confused but think wel guees she's a social mecde rality or 0 L immeciately think Im too fucking old She gets Pe me and is lke thanks for coming outbet you re oll mondering the fuck is this about 0 She then ays kow al of yog hee are on tindler and I'm Ike oppe0 Then she says l've invited you all here for proceads to gve a hunger pane about wtut its gomna take to 0 L THE DUDES THERE SHE FOUND D THEM THESAME SHITTEXTEDTHEME TCEND oN 0 Every man n ne owd look down ard mimes WHAT IN 000 THE THIB SHIT to themsl NAME OF SCOOBY Ad that poiet I un geuiely imazedal he falopian fortitude the g possesses This is top 10 gremest and plaged TUST NO ONE I TRUST NOTHING FMVAN CIVILIZATION DONT GET GOT THE END clare harper flood herpoonen h weet your l We in 2018, she in 2058 by sooshi MORE MEMES
Save
Music, Huge, and For: 1 HOUR Not really a huge fan of Fortnite, but I could listen to this music for hours!

Not really a huge fan of Fortnite, but I could listen to this music for hours!

Save
Birthday, Children, and Crying: ERIDIEN darecrow: Imagine going to a party and the white suburban stay at home mom with two overachiever kids and white dad who barbeques but doesn’t know how to barbeque and yet is always surrounded by other white Dads who compliment his barbqeuing even though they’re just store bought preshaped frozen patties from Ralph’s or Food 4 Less and while he’s cooking those the white mom comes out and says “okay kids, here’s some pizza!” And she pulls this out and starts telling the kids why its a “fun pizza” and then cries in her master bedroom when no one likes it or finishes it and the white dad is then consoling her why she sobs that she’s a terrible mother and ruined her fourth grade straight B+ sons birthday and thinks her kids hate her but they don’t care but she continues crying softly into her pillow while the children eat poorly cooked burgers with unmelted kraft singles and too much mayonnaise and the only other condiments are two pickles and pepper because the dad calls it his special burger with a secret spice but the spice was just pepper and the kids just keep playing E rated games on their Nintendo Wii while the 17 year old older sister starts cleaning the tragedy up and throwing away uneaten “fun pizza” and whole burgers dejected from the start while she dials Pizza Hut to get these kids an actual birthday lunch and the mother then throws a fit because the daughter did something the kids liked and she didn’t and was the only one making a huge deal out of it and the daughter was then grounded from her TV in her room for only two days and the son went to blow out the candles in his standard birthday cake from food 4 less the mom added strawberries to so she could feel she did something but was still slightly teary and sad because her day was ruined by no one wanting to eat her “fun pizza”

darecrow: Imagine going to a party and the white suburban stay at home mom with two overachiever kids and white dad who barbeques but doesn...

Save
Ass, Beautiful, and Butt: did you know? did-you-kno.tumblr.com During a battle in 603 BC, Chinese warrior Xiong Yiliao stepped out between the armies and started juggling 9 balls. The opposing troops were so amazed that all 500 of them turned and fled did-you-kno.tumblr.com didyouknowblog.com facebook.com/didyouknowblog optimysticals: uovoc: konec0: sleepyferret: shitfacedanon: dat-soldier: sonnetscrewdriver: dat-soldier: did-you-kno: Source back the fuck up There’s another story that I like about a Chinese general who had to defend a city with only a handful of soldiers from a huge enemy horde that was in all likelihood going to steamroll the place flat within hours of showing up. So when said horde did arrive, they saw the general sitting outside the city’s open gates, drinking tea. The horde sent a couple of emissaries over to see what was what, and the general greeted them cheerfully and invited them all to come and take tea with him. The horde decided that this was a scenario that had “MASSIVE FUCKING TRAP” written all over it in beautiful calligraphy and promptly fucked off. Whoever that general was, he was clearly the Ancient Chinese equivalent of Sam Vimes. did he just invite us over for tea nah man i’m out This just keeps getting better I fucking love history. ok but tbh that story misses a lot of the subtlety of the situation like ok so this story is the Romance of Three Kingdoms, and essentially takes place between Zhuge Liang, resident tactician extraordinaire, and Sima Yi… OTHER resident tactician extraordinaire. The two were both regarded as tactical geniuses and recognized the other as their rival. Zhuge Liang had a reputation for ambushing the SHIT out of his opponents and using the environment to his advantage, thus destroying large armies with a small number of men. Sima Yi (who kind of entered the picture later) was a cautious person whose speciality was unravelling his opponent’s plans before they began. So it was natural that the two would butt heads; however, since Sima Yi tended to have more men and resources, he started winning battles against the former. Which, y’know, kinda sucked. On to the actual story: Zhuge Liang is all like “shit i gotta defend this city with like 10 men.” Literally if he fights ANY kind of battle here, he WILL lose; his only option for survival is not to fight. And that’s looking more and more impossible until he hears that his rival is leading the opposing army. And then he gets this brilliant idea. He basically opens all the gates, sends his men out in civilian clothes to sweep the streets, and sits on top of the gate drinking tea and chilling out and basically makes the whole thing out to be a trap When Sima Yi comes he’s all like “yo come on in bro” and Sima Yi is like “yeah he’s never been that obvious about his traps before. this is definitely a bluff” and he’s about to head in when he realizes wait. he knows that i think he’s bluffing. and so he gets it in his head that maybe, just MAYBE, Zhuge Liang has this cunning plan that will wipe out his army - recall that he has a pretty good handle on what his rival is capable of. And after a long period of deliberation (which is just like “he know that I know that he knows that etc.”), being the cautious man he is, SIma Yi eventually decides to turn his entire army around and leave. Zhuge Liang later points out that the plan was based specifically on the fact that he was facing his rival; if it had been anyone else, there’s no way it would have worked. A dumber or less cautious person would have simply charged in and won without breaking a sweat.  and that’s the real genius here: it was a plan formed entirely just to deceive one man, and it worked. Zhuge Liang is the most brilliant, sneaky-ass bastard in history. One time his side’s army was out of arrows, which pretty much meant they were screwed. So Zhuge Liang goes and does the logical thing, which is build a fuck ton of scarecrows and put them all on boats. Then he makes the men hide in the boats and sail them out on the river. Well, that day was super foggy (which Zhuge Liang had predicted. Did I mention he was also a freakishly accurate meteorologist?). So the enemy across the river sees a fleet of boats armed to the teeth with what appears to be half an army of men. They panic! and start firing arrows like crazy.  Zhuge Liang lets this play out for a while, then he’s like, ”Ok guys that’s enough.” They calmly turn the boats around and go back to base, where they dismantle the scarecrows and pull out all the enemy’s arrows. Zhuge Liang is legend. I love this post. It just keeps getting better. Like seriously, I would have adored learning about this in World History.
Save
Advice, Bad, and God: PSA: Post op? Wash your damn vagina. (self.MtF) submitted 11 hours ago by Ohgodimgross For the love of god this story is disgusting, but if you've had or are having the operation, then I'd suggest this advice Had the op about 5 years ago. So I sort of fell into a slop. I don't really get much action, so I don't really dilate, or end up with anything inside very often at all. At the time I was told to dilate, and douche. I didn't like the douching, and I heard multiple different things from others. "I just dilate then use a pad til the morning" "I just wipe off with tissue and let my body deal with the rest". For me, I just didn't wash inside me, because I didn't dilate, so nothing could really get gross in there, I thought. It turns out I'm wrong. I was having sex this evening, and at one point, I stopped because I felt something weird. So I put my fingers in there and the back of my vagina had a rough, not very nice texture. So I kind of scraped around a bit with my finger and I had a bit of orange stuff come out. Not much, and I'd had yellow stuff before. So I supposed it was smegma The texture remained so I kept using my fingers to work around More and more orange stuff. And finally I took out a weird chunk. A huge chunk. It was a cluster of pubic hair, and orange smegma. And more, and more. Like so much more just kept falling out. So I suppose over the last couple of years, while I've not been dilating, my vagina's slowly let all sorts of hair just slowly work its way up towards the top. And since it doesn't clean itself out, it just accumulates a bunch of dead, gross orange buildup around the hair. PSA: Dilate and douche. I'm never leaving it to get like this ever again cisdude: lanque-hates-terfs: mtfselfdrag: just like an ordinary vagina you guys!! lesbians, do your duty and eat out a trans woman’s neovagina today 🤢 Everyone needs to clean their vaginas, you asshole. Just as you need to clean every other area of your body. No, it isn’t anyone’s duty to eat ANYBODY out, doing sexual acts such as that is a choice for the partners performing it. The woman in this Reddit post made a bad mistake, but she learned a lesson and is advising others to not make the same mistake that she did. please for the love of god dont clean your vagina (the vaginal canal, the inside, in case you dont know what vagina means), it is self cleaning, washing or douching your vagina ruins the pH and vaginal flora, putting you at risk for yeast infections. the only thing you need to do is wash your vulva (the outside) with an appropriate product. neovaginas, though, NEED to be washed and douched, or else you get something like the reddit op described.
Save
9/11, Africa, and Being Alone: now you kno! In 2002, Kenyan Masai tribespeople donated 14 cows to to the U.S to help with the aftermath of 9/11. nowyoukno.com thestoicgod: hutchj: thestoicgod: velocicrafter: markingatlightspeed: cyanwrites: iammyfather: evilelitest2: petitepenquin: mehofkirkwall: disputedthreshermaw: natrsrants: deadcatwithaflamethrower: jadedhavok: randomthingsthatilike123: gweatherwax: awesomonster: obese-starving-artist: the-treble: nowyoukno: Source for more facts on your dash follow NowYouKno That was super nice of them. And now I’m mad that nobody told us we were given cows. Cause that’s really f*cking nice and nobody mentioned it at all. American media tends to disregard that anyone donates to the US. And then Amurricans complain about money going abroad because “nobody helped the US in our disasters.” . Also, do you know how much a cow costs? O.O It isn’t just a matter of how much a cow costs, its a matter of considering that Masai life is based around their cattle. Its their wealth, their food, and a significant part of their religion. Here’s a quote from Wikipedia: “Traditional Maasai lifestyle centres around their cattle which constitute their primary source of food. The measure of a man’s wealth is in terms of cattle and children. A herd of 50 cattle is respectable, and the more children the better. A man who has plenty of one but not the other is considered to be poor.[37] A Maasai religious belief relates that God gave them all the cattle on earth, leading to the belief that rustling cattle from other tribes is a matter of taking back what is rightfully theirs, a practice that has become much less common.[38]” So its not just “they gave us 14 cows”, its that they gave us something that is very important and significant to them, it is more than just a kind gesture that definitely deserves to be known and its a genuine shame that more people don’t know about it. Wait, you guys DON’T KNOW that we offer help to the US when you have disasters??????? Shit, down here in Brazil we not only offered to send tracking units and doctors to help in 9/11 but we wanted to send a whole lot of donations to help with Katrina (we have experience with floods down here so we knew what kind of medicine to send to prevent outbreaks).  We alone had like 2 army airplanes full of medicine and non-perishables like baby formula, diapers, bottled water, mosquito nets and other stuff that’s needed to fight opportunistic diseases that hit flooded areas, enough to assist a good few thousand people at least, ready to go the day after it hit, but your government refused the donations.  The same thing happened to the Canadians and Europeans who offered help, the US embassies around the world told us all to give money to Red Cross. And so we did, we all gave hundreds of millions of dollars to them, and then this happened: Red Cross scandals tarnish relief efforts ‘Breathtaking’ Waste and Fraud in Hurricane Aid So please, don’t you go spreading misinformation and prejudice against the rest of the world, WE DID OFFER HELP AND ORGANIZED IT EVEN FASTER THAN BUSH DID, BUT Y’ALL REFUSED IT.  Oh wow I had no idea this happened it’s really not talked about in media at all wow this is something good to know about wow I’m so angry. I didn’t know that other countries tried to help after 9/11 or Katrina. Like, that’s something we, the people, should hear about and we don’t. Please don’t blame us for the shitty decisions our government makes. We don’t have as much control over our government as we would like to think and they keep a lot from us. Spread this shit.  After Katrina, Cuba donated several hundred blankets. Think about that. A country that is suffering economically due directly to the US embargo offered to help us when we needed it by sending what they could. And once again, it was refused. We have a government that is so self-righteous that we refuse to accept disaster aid in order to maintain this facade that we are the most generous nation on earth. Okay, Katrina thing.Only Texans really knows this? and even then it’s not wide spread.Mexico sent their army.They sent their army for relief efforts. Didn’t call ahead, they drove all the way to San Antonio with doctors and food and all sorts of supplies.When people actually got a call from them saying “Hey, we’re sending people up.”The people who answered said “What? We can’t…”“Too late, already there.”This was while the government was turning down help.So yeah, other countries send relief.Forest fires up in Washington last year? Firefighters from Australia came up to assist.Like… we don’t hear about this shit. At all. I can second the above with the fires.  Most the time, when people say “oh FEMA or something sent people right?” re: fires, its actually people from other countries showing up and kinda ignoring the government telling them to fuck off and staying on behalf of local departments because we REALLY need them.  If there’s a huge ass disaster, and the government is sitting there with a thumb up it’s ass, help is offered and most the time– shit, it gets there!But then the feds do something really fucking dirty.They insist they were the help, if it’s talked about at all.  They insist those people putting out fires were federal people, because to most people a fireman’s a fireman. The people handing out water and food, a relief worker is a relief worker. So on and so forth.  We had people come up when the fires were so bad a while ago– not the Australians, but i think there was like a German group of like 3 guys that flew themselves over? They came out of sheer “this is horrible and we’re helping” and my dad [local fire chief] had them working with our guys and the feds lost no time telling every news outlet that it was THEIR people doing all the fire knockdowns and structure work when these guys were running into buildings and grabbing people, pets, and people’s important documents because they knew papers were a pain in the ass to replace.  What you gotta understand is that our government is very intent on selling us and the rest of the world [as much as possible] the idea of a powerful and self reliant country. All our reporting on disasters, starts with the scaremongering and then moves to “but our people can handle it because we’re the best at handling things” and then they move on before the idea it’s out of control comes to mind. The average person outside of the disaster has no idea, if they have never been around such an event or met someone who regularly deals with these things, they will kinda probably nod along with that. Because we have no real scope on the scale and impact– by design. Our media intake is very controlled to slant everything to the “eh, we can handle it and everyone else out there– they need our help because they’re not so good at handling disasters like we are.”People who know better, reading international news, interacting with international social groups, looking outside their sphere of community– we know better but that kinda slant is really hard to break from because of that grip American media has on information.So, taking that knowledge, we further have restricted reporting on certain disasters because they’re considered unimportant. Hurricanes are considered important, earthquakes are only considered important if it wrecks something the government cares about or somewhere a couple million people live that they’ll upset the national money flow/they can throw money at someone to make the news care, floods are only important if it’s in a similar manner to earthquakes but since they occur annually they’re rarely reported on nationally, mudslides that kill people or leave hundreds homeless aren’t important to the government even through they happen constantly, wildfires that consume most of the nation/continent each year generally are unimportant until they consume a town or threaten a government interest/money flow location. Terrorist attacks are always important because people will talk about them. So, when we do get help for any of the above, it’s possible that most people may have no idea about what’s happened, let alone that help’s been sent. Or if people know something happened, the details are vague– the news don’t care to give the nitty gritty. You’ll know something happened and people are suffering and “gee, isn’t it good you’re not them” and then now the weather. So, yeah, basically no one really knows we get help. International response to Hurricane Katrina: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/International_response_to_Hurricane_Katrina  We got HELLA help, but nobody really talks about it American Media really fails regularly  Hurricane Sandy, Quebec sends power line crews down to assist in restoring power.  California gets rid of water bombers due to budget cuts, Canada sends theirs down to help fight wild fires. Amazing what living on the border and having outside TV News does to your information flow. After Katrina, Denmark offered to donate water purification units so people wouldn’t get sick from drinking contaminated water, but the offer was declined. A private Danish company built a mobile satellite phone booth and drove it around the poor neighbourhoods in Mississippi and Louisiana so people could call their families and insurance companies for free (apparently there was a deadline for reporting damages but people couldn’t call in because their mobile phones were dead and landlines were down). American propaganda is not a thing of the past, nor is it a new thing. It has been around forever, telling stories of exceptionalism and self-reliance while our government tries its hardest to refuse the help of others and offer its own to them, to try and force other nations onto their back foot and remain aggressively benevolent in international matters, so that it can lord that shit over them in negotiations and the media in general.I guarantee you America would have a less jingoistic, less xenophobic populace overall if this sort of information were actually reported to us. If we weren’t always fed the lie of helping the world without any gratitude or help in return. If the media didn’t present us as world police and instead as a part of the community, as other countries try hard to include us as, then maybe Americans would actually act like they’re part of a fucking community.But global citizens are hard to monger fear and distrust and xenophobia and nationalism with. They’re hard to control with propaganda and hate. They’re hard to keep ignorant and docile and saying “this is fine” while the empire burns.A lot of Americans wonder why our country is seen as a worldwide bully. Shit like that, my friends. Shit like that. Its hubris is seemingly limitless. C O M M E N T A R Y FYI: They left out the part where America’s rudeness kicked in and turned down the offer of the cows. The US government is really tryna kill its people. Someone offered water purification units and they were like “nah,” let those tricks get sick. @hutchj how about the U.S. passed a law recently making CBD, the non-psychoactive derivative of cannabis, illegal as a Schedule A drug, EVEN THOUGH IT HAS BEEN PROVEN TO REDUCE EPILEPTIC SEIZURES IN CHILDREN TO ZERO among a dozen other ailments having been reduced to nominal levels allowing ppl to function normally (ADHD, chronic pain, IBS, menstrual cramps, Alzheimer’s, etc). Doctors around the country (that Big Pharma can’t buy off) are fighting back for their patients’ well-being. 😡
Save
Butt, Chill, and Comfortable: Calvin Rickson, an engineer from Texas A&M University has designed a bra that keeps women's breasts from jiggling, bouncing up and down, and stops nipples from pushing through the fabric when cold weather sets in. After a news conference announcing the invention, a large group of men took Mr. Rickson outside and kicked the shit out of him. Michelle de Mooij I cannot believe how disgusting some of the comments on this post are. Boobs are not men's toys to look at and play with. The bra would be made for a reason. For women to wear and feel comfortable in, not for men to throw a fit about because it doesn't please them. Ugh. Like 33 More Yesterday at 01:58 Ahen l will have to respectfully disagree ma am! Like 4.Yesterday at 14:53 HOTHING Taeja I agree to Disagree ) Like Yesterday at 16:33 Joh boobs are definitely men's toys Like Yesterday at 17:37 Michelle de Mooij No they aren't. Boobs are made for babies. Not for men to objectify. It isn't rocket science. Like More Yesterday at 17:47 Hannah A OMG Michelle chill out.... Yes boobs are ment for babies, but while your baby is not using them let the men enjoy!!! My god stop being a prude!!! That's like telling you that you're not allowed to look at a man's, butt, chest, or back!!! Get over it, we should be proud of what we have not ashamed!!!As long as it's covered up who cares who looks!!! Like 10 hours ago Michelle de Mooij I never said we should be ashamed of what we have. I'm not being a prude at all. I'm simply saying men are making a huge deal about this. This is made for women to feel comfortable in, as not a lot of women appreciate men staring at their chests, covered up or not. Especially women with larger chests are bothered by the bouncing and jiggling, and nipples poking through the fabric when it's cold is just annoying. Like I said, men are just upset because they can't carry on objectifying women. Nothing about that is prude. Randall A fucking lesbians man Like 3.5 hours ago Michelle de Mooij I'm sorry Randall, but I fail to see how my words about men being objectifying and misogynistic has anything to do with lesbians. If anything, you just proved my point by labelling me as a lesbian simply for using my brain. Like More 3 minutes ago
Save
Barbie, Bitch, and Definitely: m00nqueer ok this is "earring magic ken" who was introduced in 1992 (and discontinued shortly thereafter) basically mattel had done a survey and discovered that girls didn't think ken was "cool" enough SO someone had the bright idea to research coolness by sending people to raves which, at the time, were mostly hosted & attended by gay men. so they went to these raves and took notes on what the fashions were and finally landed on this outfit, mesh shirt & all this doll became the best selling ken doll in history, mostly because gay men bought it in droves. (many of them said his necklace was supposed to be a cockring) but mattel and a number of parents weren't very amused and discontinued the doll muffinsandmatriarchy OH MY GOD YOU'RE LEAVING OUT THE BEST PART MAGIC EARRING KEN. This bitch gay as HELL. supposedly the aforementioned rings on him are for “magic earrings" and clip on charms. These charms are advertised as totally COMPLETELY heterosexual, not gay at ALL, see there's a Barbie that also has Magic Earring Action with clip on charms! Ken wears them to match, because he's STRAIGHT Here's the issue: THERE IS NO MATCHING BARBIE. Magic Earring Ken is out here straight up wearing cock rings on his jacket with a thinly devised advertising ploy to make it SEEM not-gay. But it's DEFINITELY GAY. (And if you're thinking, why cock rings? Well way back in 1992 gay culture was HUGE on wearing cock rings, it was the in-style. Everyone who was gay wore one, even women; you sewed them to your leather jacket, and the placement indicated some of your sexual preference. In case you were wondering, Ken is a Bottom.) AND IT GETS BETTER. Magic Earring Ken was on the shelves for six weeks before they pulled him. In that short amount of time? Magic Earring Ken became the BEST SELLING Barbie Doll Mattel has EVER SOLD LET THAT SINK IN. SIX WEEKS. And now every time these wheezy old hetero windbag execs go to look at their sales board, they're forever haunted by Magic Earring Ken at the top of their charts Gay as hell, Cock Ring Bottom Ken, the Best Selling Mattel Doll Pride shoptiludropdead please take the time out of your day to read about Magic Earring KenTM Earring Magic Ken™
Save
Aladdin, Bad, and Barbie: C ,d 40%. 11:52 PM minesottafatspoollegend i love in fantasy when its like "king galamir the mighty golden eagle and his most trusted advisor who would never betray him, gruelworm bloodeye the treacherous" es When my sister and I were kids we had this one action figure, who was actually a brutalized batman doll without his cape (the dog chewed half his head, too), who we dubbed 'Evil Chancellor Traytor. The idea was that in the fictional society of our toys, chancellor just came with the word 'evil in front of it, as a matter of ancient tradition Like 'grand' or 'high' or something along those lines Anyway, the running gag was that the king (an old Power Rangers knock-off doll) had absolute and unwavering faith in Evil Chancel- lor Traytor, who basically comported himself like a mix between Grima Wormtongue and Jafar from the Aladdin movies. Everyone was always sure that Evil Chancellor Traytor had something to do with the nefarious scheme of the day. The dude even carried around a poisoned knife called 'the kingslayer The additional twist on the joke, though, was that he never was behind anything. The king was actually right. Evil Chancellor Traytor was the most devoted civil servant in the entire Action Figure Dystopia. He spent his nights working on writing up new legislature to ensure that b mobility devices, was always on the lookout to acquire new shoeboxes for expanding city infrastructure, and drafted a proposal that once got half the 'settlement' in my sister and I's closet moved to the upper shelf so that vulnerable toys were less likely to be snatched roken toys had access to the dog The knife, as it turned out, was as symbolic as the evil in his name. See, Action Figure Dystopia had a long history of corrupted monarchs getting too big for their thrones and exploiting the underclasses. The job of the Evil Chancellor was to always remain vigilant, and loyally serve a good ruler-or, if the regent should became a despot, to slay them on behalf of the people But since killing the king would be a terrible crime, the Evil Chancellor had to be the kind of person who would willingly die to spare the people from the plight of a wicked leader, because the murder would be pinned on them, in order to keep the 'machinery of politics working as smoothly as ever Anyway, Evil Chancellor Traytor had a diary in which my sister I would take turns writing out the most over-the-top good shit he'd done behind the scenes. Usually after everyone else had finished talking shit about him. I don't know why but we got the biggest kick out of in Barbie With the Unfortunate Haircut: Oh that Evil Chancellor Traytor! Why can't the king see how wicked he is?! Charmander From the Vending Machine: Char! Jurassic Park Toy of Jeff Goldblum With Disturbingly Realistic Face: At least if someone puts a knife in the king's back, we'll know where to look! Evil Chancellor Traytor's Diary: Today I was feeding ducks at the park when I noticed another legless action figure sitting by the benches. I put a hundred dollars into his bag while he wasn't looking. I really need to increase budgeting to the medical treatment centers. If only we had enough glue, I think we would see far fewer toys trying to get by without limbs... insert iconic evil laugh* Anyway, Evil Chancellor Traytor eventually fell victim to one of my mom's cleaning sprees, and she decided he was too busted up to keep and tossed him out. My littler brother, who tended to follow my sister and I's games like he was watching a daily soap opera, cried so hard that we had to do a special 'episode where one of the toys found the Evil Chancellor's diary, and so he got a big huge memorial and the king threw himself into the empty grave and then ordered the toys driving the toy bulldozer to bury him so that 'Traytors grave would have a body' (this seemed very important for some reason) And then we had the Quest For a New King Somehow or another that ended up being a giant rubber snake called Tyrant King Cobra Source: sweetbabyr aysgourmetsauces 79,144 notes I want this to be an actual soap so bad
Save
Ass, Bailey Jay, and Bitch: The Economist -Follow Economist TheEconomist Why aren't millennials buying diamonds? econ.st/294G6yf dxisybuchanan: everythingcanadian: ariaste: wildhaunt: everkings: kid-communism: combatbooty: 1) they expensive bruh 2) none of us kno the dif btwn a fucking diamond and some fancy ass glass ur capitalist rock hierarchy has no control over us 3) mostly mined with slave labor 4) we get excited when our date buys us an appetizer, we don’t even comprehend people buying us rocks that would force us into debt for ten years 5) They aren’t actually that rare and the price is artificially inflated.  Pro tip from a former Jared’s salesperson: You want a sparkly white rock that will look like a diamond to the untrained eye and will literally cost the price of a nice dinner for two? Created white sapphire. They’re lab grown and cost *pennies* to make, so you can get a 1 or 2 carat white sapphire for like… $30-80 probably. You can get one as huge as you like, perfectly clear, perfectly flawless. And no one will ever be able to tell the difference except a professional appraiser. Also, sapphires are the second-hardest gemstone (right after diamonds) so they are very durable! Very unlikely that they’ll chip or crack. Get that bitch set in sterling silver and you are GOOD TO GO. Whole thing should cost you less than $200 unless you get a fancy band with a lot of extra stones. Of course, created sapphires come in every color of the rainbow, so if you want something more exciting than plain white, you TOTALLY CAN.  Created sapphires and silver: The poor Millennial’s engagement ring.  THANK YOU EX-JARED’S BASED GOD.  engagement rings: HACKED
Save
Ass, Creepy, and Cute: It's not right for a woman to read Soon she starts getting ideas. And thinking Gaston, YOu are positively primeval. adrianestpierre Gaston really is the most terrifying Disney villain because he could be anyone in the world justplainsomething Later he convinces the whole town to set up his wedding with the knowledge that the would-be bride would be thrown into it. Everyone finds his creepy-ass tactics as cute and "boys will be boys" esque. So yeah, he is terrifying beeftony Yeah, the truly scary thing about Beauty and the Beast isn't that Gaston exists, but that society fucking loves him. People who deride the movie by saying it's about Stockholm Syndrome are ignoring that it's actually about the various ways that truly decent people get othered by society. People don't trust the Beast because of the way he looks, which only feeds his anger issues and pushes him further away. Gaston isn't the only one who criticizes Belle for being bookish either, the whole town says there must be something wrong with her. And her father gets carted off to a mental asylum for being just a little eccentric Howard Ashman, who collaborated on the film's score and had a huge influence on the movie's story and themes, was a gay man who died of AlDS shortly after work on the film was completed. If you watch the film with that in mind, the message of it becomes clear. Gaston demonstrates that bullies are rewarded and beloved by society as long as they possess a certain set of characteristics, while nice people who don't are ostracized. The love story between Belle and the Beast is about them finding solace in each other after society rejects them both Notice how the Beast reacts when the whole town comes for him He's not angry, he's sad. He's tired. And he almost gives up because he has nothing to live for. But then he sees that Belle has come back for him, and suddenly he does. In the original fairy tale, the Beast asks Belle to marry him every night, and the spell is broken when she accepts. In the Disney movie, he waits for her to love him, becausee he cannot love himself. That's how badly being ostracized from society and told that you're a monster all your life can fuck with your head and make you stop seeing yourself as human Society rewards the bullies because we've been brought up to believe that their victims don't belong. That if someone doesn't fit in then they have to be put in their place, or destroyed. And this movie demonstrates that this line of thinking is wrong. It's so much deeper than a standard "be yourself" message, and that's why it's one of my favorite Disney movies Source: thomasfinchmackee 538,413 notes Oct 26th, 2017 No one falls to his death in the rain like this man.
Save