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Over the past year, I made about 50 of these profiles (for fun). These are 8 of my favorite. Hopefully you get a laugh out of them.: CUSTOMER SERVICE it is just plane wrong you have not swiped right yet Jake, 27 Jake, 27 less than a mile away less than a mile away We may fight, but please don't try and solve the argument with regular soda I would re-accommodate every last passenger just to be the guy that gets to sit next to you I prefer diet; we both know you are all the sugar I need Jake, 27 O less than a mile away Jake, 27 O less than a mile away One date, one opportunity...You are everything l ever wanted. In one moment, would you swipe right, or just let it slip? Want to be crazy in love? Well, to the left, to the left. Swipe every other guy to the left. My palms won't be sweaty. Flirt-game not weak, charm is heavy. I have a date planned already. let's get spaghetti If I like it, I might put a ring on it. It could be our destiny to have a child, but for now, let's just get pizza Still Jake, 27 O less than a mile away Jake, 27 I was feeling 22, but really I am 27 and should probably start taking dating seriously I am looking for a girl who is willing to break all ties with their ex. I don't care if you have to make up some lie like "there isn't enough space for the two of us" Swipe right to fill the blank space in my heart. If you aren't looking for a love story, baby just swipe left. eok a love story. Let go of the past; I promise our love won't hit any icebergs. Fake News N.К. missies can't reach the US. But I can reach your heart. Breaking News Trump pulls out of Paris chmate agreement Jake, 27 O less than a mile away Jake, 27 O less than a mile away Every guy eventually experiences issues with their rocket. Some rockets explode prematurely. Some never explode at all Just like our president, when I promise to pull out, I follow through But I promise that no matter what, we will have a blast. Over the past year, I made about 50 of these profiles (for fun). These are 8 of my favorite. Hopefully you get a laugh out of them.

Over the past year, I made about 50 of these profiles (for fun). These are 8 of my favorite. Hopefully you get a laugh out of them.

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<p>Mom Gets A Nasty Surprise On Mother’s Day. This Is Priceless.</p>: MOTHER IS SHOCKED WHEN HER LITTLE BOY SURPRISES HER WITH THIS ON MOHER'S DAY So, we had this great 10 year old cat named Jack who just recently died. Jack was a great cat and the kids would carry him around and sit on him and nothing ever bothered him. He used to hang out and nap all day long on this mat in our bathroom Well we have 3 kids and at the time of this sto they were 4 years old, 3 years old and 1 year olod The middle one is Eli. Eli really loves chapstick. LOVES it. He kept asking to use my chapstick and then losing it. So finally one day I showed him where in the bathroom I keep my chapstick and how he could use it whenever he wanted to but he needed to put it right back in the drawer when he was done Last year on Mother's Day, we were having the typical rush around and try to get ready for Church with everyone crying and carrying on. My two boys are fighting over the toy in the cereal box. I am trying to nurse my little one at the same time I am putting on my make-up. Everything is a mess and everyone has long forgotten that this is a wonderful day to honor me and the amazing job that is motherhood We finally have the older one and the baby loaded in the car and I am looking for Eli. I have searched everywhere and I finally round the corner to go into the bathroom. And there was Eli. He was applying my chapstick very carefully to Jack's.. rear end. Eli looked right into my eyes and said chappe Now if you have a cat, you know that he is right-their little butts do look pretty chapped. And frankly, Jack didn't seem to mind And the only question to really ask at that point was whether it was the FIRST time Eli had done that to the cat's behind or the hundredth. And THAT is my favorite Mother's Day moment ever because it reminds us that no matter how hard we try to civilize these glorious little creatures, there will always be that day when you realize they've been using your chapstick on the cat's butt Share this with vour friends and have a wonderful Mother's Day. <p>Mom Gets A Nasty Surprise On Mother’s Day. This Is Priceless.</p>

<p>Mom Gets A Nasty Surprise On Mother’s Day. This Is Priceless.</p>

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