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Fire, Head, and Puns: 00, 285 and ed the popula T 383), "I can't believe I ate that whole pineapple!" Tom said dolehtu "I dropped the toothpaste," Tom said, crestfallen. "We don't have a homerun hitter," Tom said ruthlessly "I keep shocking myself," said Tom, revolted "My steering wheel won't turn," Tom said straightforwardly iThat's the last time I pet a lion," Tom said offhandedly "I'll dig another ditch around the castle," Tom said remotely i "I shouldn't sleep on railroad tracks," said Tom, beside himselfi "I've lost a lot of weight," Tom expounded. "I keep banging my head on things," Tom said bashfully. "I'lI have to telegraph him again," Tom said remorsefully “I can't get down from the mountain." Tom alleged. "Let's play a C, E, and G," said Tom's band, in accord. "You call this a musical?" asked Les miserably "I must make the fire hotter!" Tom bellowed. i i mothmanismyuncle: american-auror-story: jellyfish-blob: quiteawfulpretty: he-wants-the-221d: sweethoneysempai: smarsupial: womandrogyne: I am so aroused right now Oh I know some folks who will get this much faster than I did. @misshoneywheeler @aliceofalonso my favorite pundits. Tag urself im “I keep bashing my head on things,” Tom said bashfully We had to make some of these up for our standardised state testing. “You call this a musical?” I’m SCREAMINF i was halfway through before i realized these were puns i am so mad This was fun to read the first time through before you realized anything It was INCREDIBLE the second time and you realize how blind you were the first time IM SOBBIN HOLY FUCKIN SHIT
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Ass, Boobies, and Brains: So basically, you know, if the Doctor was gonna settle down, it would be with a girl like this. everythingsbetterwithbisexuals: brainsella: itsraininbritishmen: type40: roachpatrol: court-of-ocelot: laureljupiter: court-of-ocelot: culturalrebel: badwollf: aka “Elitism is my middle name” I like how Moffat would say that Reinette - a female character that he wrote into the show - is obviously a perfect match for the Doctor based on her level of ‘civilization’ and education. As opposed to oh say…Rose Tyler - a lower-class girl who never went to university - whom the Doctor actually fell in love with and did settle down with in another universe. This quote just has it all, doesn’t it? - The elitism - The dig at Rose Tyler and RTD, by extension - The elevation of ‘his’ character at the expense of existing ones. - The implication that Madame de Pompadour - one of the most powerful women in the country - would of course drop everything she had worked for to go and ‘settle down’ with a man who is basically a homeless spacehobo. People who call Moffat a talentless hack are mistaken.  It takes some skill to cram that much fail into just three sentences. Hah, excellent Moffat-criticism here. He is so petty, and so unequipped to write insightful sci-fi. Like, okay, let’s pretend for a second that by “educated and civilised” he means “has a lot of knowledge and social insight” (which is a valid thing to look for in a romantic partner) rather than, you know, “rich, fancy and subservient” (which is what Moffat expects people to look for in a romantic partner). … I really don’t think that an 18th century aristocrat has more understanding of science and society than a 21st person without A levels but with a working television. And in any case, if the Doctor was really looking for people who are Intellectual Equals, he’d surely look in the future, when people understand time travel, and have wikipedia installed in their brains, or whatever. Or AIs! I can’t imagine anyone more educated and ‘civilised’ than AI people! Just, one thing I really loved about RTD’s Who arcs - which Moffat clearly didn’t understand at all - was that EVERYTHING the companions knew was useful - Harry Potter trivia! Game-show quickness! Fast typing! - and that the, like, real-world hierarchy of skills and marketability was always shown as less important than courage and compassion. WITHOUT A LEVELS BUT WITH A WORKING TELEVISION YES THIS. I’m imagining the real Madame de Pompadour and how very unimpressed she would be by Steven Moffat declaring his ~admiration for her, but wow did this man just admit that he think the position of Companion is actually the Doctor’s maîtresse-en-titre?  Jesus wept. That is exactly what this man thinks, and what he writes also. He thinks women are wired to ‘cling’ and men are wired to want to escape them, and the only way a relationship can be agreeable to both parties is if the woman accepts that they can only spend time together when the dude initiates it. … Suddenly I am kinda surprised that Sherlock and Irene didn’t set up a long-distance relationship where she spends her days in an orientalist parody of a villa, waiting for Sherlock and passing the time taking luxurious bubble-baths and emotionlessly spanking female nobility. Oh my god this is some sick shit— and really, really, really highlights how much Moffat doesn’t understand the fundamental heart of the show he’s fucking running. If the Doctor was so hot for intelligent, well educated, civilized women why the fuck did he ever leave his home planet? Why has he only ever had one Gallifreyan companion after he left his granddaughter to go her own way? Romana was foisted on him by the time lord ellimist, he didn’t go picking her out of a catalogue.  The Doctor runs around with soldiers and schoolkids and teachers and sailors and students and journalists and shop girls and alien refugees and orphans and robot dogs and barbarians and private detective penguins and renegade archaeologists. If he wanted a slice of properly civilized girlfriend he had the whole universe to go pick one out from, and he never did till Moffat wrote him launching himself smooch-first at the lady in the fancy dress and historically inaccurate boobies. Goddamn I am so mad.  Oh my god. OH my GOD. If you even like moffat, just read this. WHAT A FUCKING ASS I AM SO MAD People who call Moffat a talentless hack are mistaken.  It takes some skill to cram that much fail into just three sentences. when is moffat gonna stop trying to suck his own dick I couldn’t help but look at those gifs and think, “This asshole just won an Emmy. For WRITING.”
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