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A bot watched over 1000 hours of lawyer commercials and then made this: Keaton Patti Follow eKeatonPatti I forced a bot to watch over 1,000 hours of lawyer commercials and then asked it to write a lawyer commercial of its own. Here is the first page LAWYER COMMERCIAL INT. FIRM LAW ROOM A LAWYER stands next to a shelf with books. The books are very wide. They have eaten too many words LAWYER Have you been hurt in an accidental car? Has the government sold your lungs without asking nicely? Are you Mesothelioma? Answer me! The lawyer opens a briefcase. It's full of lemons, the justice fruit only lawyers may touch LAWYER (CONT'D) If so, you can act entitled for money. I'l help. I graduated from lawn school and all my teachers were bitten by dogs Words scrol1 across bottom of the screen. These are cases the lawyer takes: UNFAIR STABBING, ILLEGAL SHOES, HUSIC TO0 CANADIAN, SUE THE RAIN, DIvORCE YOUR TOILET, FAKE SONS. LAWYER (CONT'D) I have been a lawyer for over 35 weekends and I'm currently dating the Bill of Rights for fun. We see the Bill of Rights. It's in love. The lawyer will1 break its heart. There's nothing we can do. LAWYER (CONT'D) Let me use it to send your asbestos to court. I will wear two suits and I promise to steal the judge's gavel for you The lawyer opens up the jacket of his first suit. Millions of gavels pour out. His promise has worth LAWYER (CONT D) My clients never go to jail town We see his past clients: a tornado, a tornado, a tornado LAWYER (CONT 'D) Remember, you don't pay any money unless you pay us money. Call for a free use of phone The phone digits appear. It's your social security number A bot watched over 1000 hours of lawyer commercials and then made this

A bot watched over 1000 hours of lawyer commercials and then made this

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christmasdamara: youkaiphilosopher: anathemarmotqueen: fangfotographie: sephielya: ii-l: This is my bible. Bye. Anyone else read this with the stereotypical Japanese “punk” accent? I didn’t just read it in the accent. I felt the accent.  i 絶対必要な単語。w Also good ones: ざけんなよ。zakenna yo.You gotta be fucking kidding me. そんなばかな!sonna baka na!That’s ridiculous! 出てけ。deteke.Leave. 何ってたか、てめえ?特殊作戦群の卒業クラスでは一番だった俺は無数のアルカイダに反して極秘の使命に関わったし、公認キルは300人以上なんだぞ。游撃戦兵で、自衛隊の最高の狙撃兵だ。てめえなんてありがたりの目標、それだけ。間違いない、この世に見たことない正確にぶっこわすぞ。ネットでそんな悪い口なんて許せると思うのか?考えなおせ。話しながら日本中のスパイネットワークを呼んで、IPをたどってるので、嵐のために準備を。生活と言う可哀想さの殲滅を持ってくる嵐だ。お前はもう死んでいる。nan tte ta ka, temee? tokushu sakusengun no sotsugyou kurasu de wa ichiban datta ore wa mukou no arukaida ni hanshite gokuhi no shime ni kuwatta shi, kounin kiru wa sanbyakunin ijou na n da zo. yuugeki senbei de, jietai no saikou no sogekihei da. temee nante arigatari no mokuhyou, sore dake. machigai nai, kono yo ni mita koto nai seikaku ni bukkowasu zo. Netto de sonna waruiguchi nante yuruseru to omou no ka? kangae naose. hanasinagara nihonchuu no supai nettowaaku wo yonde, IP wo tadotteru no de, arashi no tame ni junbi wo. seikatsu to iu kawaisousa no senmetsu wo mottekuru arashi da. omae wa mou shindeiru.What the fuck did you say about me you little bitch? I graduated top of my class in the JSDF Special Forces Group, and I’ve been involved in countless secret missions against Al-Quaeda, and I have 300 confirmed kills. I’m trained in gorilla warfare, and I’m the top sniper in the entire Self Defense Force. You are nothing but just another target. Make no mistake, I’ll wreck you with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth. You think I’ll let you get away with saying shit like that on the internet? Think again. As we’ve been speaking, I’ve contacted my network of spies across Japan, and your IP is being traced, so get ready for the storm. The storm which will annihilate the pathetic thing you call your life. You’re already dead. thank u : Fuck off. uzendayo Ded うぜーんだよ。 Motherfucker kisama 貴様。 Asshole. teme てめぇー。 JAPA PA da yo na だ Shitsukend the fuck alone. shitsukendayo しつけ-んだよ。 I hate you. daikirai 大嫌い。 What did you just say!?! nandatō なんだと…!?! Get out of my way. doke どけ。 Go to hell. shine 死ね。 Eat shit. kusokurae くそくらえ。 Shut the fuck up. ussendayo n a peaceful neaning Just a fair amount y violent. My sted jaw,plus a kid with a うっせ-んだよ。 n dude. What the fuck? ahoka e Eig アホか?! You're worthless. tsukaenè yatsu dana つかえねーやつだな。 christmasdamara: youkaiphilosopher: anathemarmotqueen: fangfotographie: sephielya: ii-l: This is my bible. Bye. Anyone else read this with the stereotypical Japanese “punk” accent? I didn’t just read it in the accent. I felt the accent.  i 絶対必要な単語。w Also good ones: ざけんなよ。zakenna yo.You gotta be fucking kidding me. そんなばかな!sonna baka na!That’s ridiculous! 出てけ。deteke.Leave. 何ってたか、てめえ?特殊作戦群の卒業クラスでは一番だった俺は無数のアルカイダに反して極秘の使命に関わったし、公認キルは300人以上なんだぞ。游撃戦兵で、自衛隊の最高の狙撃兵だ。てめえなんてありがたりの目標、それだけ。間違いない、この世に見たことない正確にぶっこわすぞ。ネットでそんな悪い口なんて許せると思うのか?考えなおせ。話しながら日本中のスパイネットワークを呼んで、IPをたどってるので、嵐のために準備を。生活と言う可哀想さの殲滅を持ってくる嵐だ。お前はもう死んでいる。nan tte ta ka, temee? tokushu sakusengun no sotsugyou kurasu de wa ichiban datta ore wa mukou no arukaida ni hanshite gokuhi no shime ni kuwatta shi, kounin kiru wa sanbyakunin ijou na n da zo. yuugeki senbei de, jietai no saikou no sogekihei da. temee nante arigatari no mokuhyou, sore dake. machigai nai, kono yo ni mita koto nai seikaku ni bukkowasu zo. Netto de sonna waruiguchi nante yuruseru to omou no ka? kangae naose. hanasinagara nihonchuu no supai nettowaaku wo yonde, IP wo tadotteru no de, arashi no tame ni junbi wo. seikatsu to iu kawaisousa no senmetsu wo mottekuru arashi da. omae wa mou shindeiru.What the fuck did you say about me you little bitch? I graduated top of my class in the JSDF Special Forces Group, and I’ve been involved in countless secret missions against Al-Quaeda, and I have 300 confirmed kills. I’m trained in gorilla warfare, and I’m the top sniper in the entire Self Defense Force. You are nothing but just another target. Make no mistake, I’ll wreck you with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth. You think I’ll let you get away with saying shit like that on the internet? Think again. As we’ve been speaking, I’ve contacted my network of spies across Japan, and your IP is being traced, so get ready for the storm. The storm which will annihilate the pathetic thing you call your life. You’re already dead. thank u
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