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How Many Times, Life, and Monster: smallest-feeblest-boggart ohannesvili: lostalive: genderists i just had the weirdest moment, i was feeling my front teeth with my tongue because they're the tiniest bit crooked, and then i had the thought "ill check if they're also crooked in my other mouth" and then i realized to my shock and confusion that i have only one mouth, leading me to believe that in a past life i was a terrible monster with two mouths A few months ago, I thought to myself "Mmm I'm so tired... how much longer in this one again?" and I knew instinctively what I meant by 'this one' was this body and this life. I then spend a few wide-eyed moments having an identitylexistential crisis like how many times have l been on this earth to have such an instinctive response to being bone-weary to my soul? No one can really answer, especially not me. In July 2017, one night woke up around 2 a.m and blurted out in a quasi professorial voice "the Equinox Bird has infinite beaks, all in the wrong direction, and infinite eyes" and I don't know what the fuck I was dreaming about but it still haunts me. It seemed like a very important information for a few seconds i really appreciate the last commenter giving us an exact date and time like that information needs to be preserved (via noisyhope) #I've been told on many occasions that my hands show I'm an old soul #my mom。 multiple occasions has dreamed that her neck was broken by a rope The brain can be a very weird place sometimes
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Children, Funny, and Saw: 21 Best One-Liner Jokes Ever 1. I hate Russian dolls, they're so full of themselves 2. I asked my North Korean friend how it was there, he said he couldn't complain 3. My girlfriend started smoking, so I slowed down and applied Lubricant 4. Don't let an extra chromosome get you down 5. I haven't talked to my wife in three weeks. I didn't want to interrupt her. 6. People used to laugh at me when I would say "I want to be a comedian", well nobody's laughing now 7. My wife told me to stop impersonating a flamingo. I had to put my foot down 8. Throwing acid is wrong, in some people's eyes 9. My wife and I were happy for twenty years, then we met 10. I haven't slept for three days, because that would be too long 11. The first time I got a universal remote control, I thought to myself "This changes everything." 12. My grandfather has the heart of a lion and a lifetime ban from the local zoo 13. Say what you want about deaf people 14. I've spent the past four years looking for my ex-girlfriend's killer, but no one will do it 15. I saw a sign that said "watch for children" and I thought, "That sounds like a fair trade." 16. I refused to believe my road worker father was stealing from his job, but when I got home, all the signs were there 17. I recently decided to sell my vacuum cleaner, all it was doing was gathering dust 18. People say I'm condescending. That means i talk down to people 19. You can never lose a homing pigeon if your homing pigeon doesn't come back, what you've lost is a pigeon 20. Whiteboards are remarkable 21. I was at an ATM and this old lady asked me to help check her balance, so I pushed her over. epicjohndoe: One-Liner Jokes That Are Actually Funny

epicjohndoe: One-Liner Jokes That Are Actually Funny

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Children, Funny, and Saw: 21 Best One-Liner Jokes Ever 1. I hate Russian dolls, they're so full of themselves 2. I asked my North Korean friend how it was there, he said he couldn't complain 3. My girlfriend started smoking, so I slowed down and applied Lubricant 4. Don't let an extra chromosome get you down 5. I haven't talked to my wife in three weeks. I didn't want to interrupt her. 6. People used to laugh at me when I would say "I want to be a comedian", well nobody's laughing now 7. My wife told me to stop impersonating a flamingo. I had to put my foot down 8. Throwing acid is wrong, in some people's eyes 9. My wife and I were happy for twenty years, then we met 10. I haven't slept for three days, because that would be too long 11. The first time I got a universal remote control, I thought to myself "This changes everything." 12. My grandfather has the heart of a lion and a lifetime ban from the local zoo 13. Say what you want about deaf people 14. I've spent the past four years looking for my ex-girlfriend's killer, but no one will do it 15. I saw a sign that said "watch for children" and I thought, "That sounds like a fair trade." 16. I refused to believe my road worker father was stealing from his job, but when I got home, all the signs were there 17. I recently decided to sell my vacuum cleaner, all it was doing was gathering dust 18. People say I'm condescending. That means i talk down to people 19. You can never lose a homing pigeon if your homing pigeon doesn't come back, what you've lost is a pigeon 20. Whiteboards are remarkable 21. I was at an ATM and this old lady asked me to help check her balance, so I pushed her over. <p>One-Liner Jokes That Are Actually Funny.</p>

One-Liner Jokes That Are Actually Funny.

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9gag, Children, and Saw: 21 Best One-Liner Jokes Ever AG.COM 1. I hate Russian dolls, they're so full of themselves 2. I asked my North Korean friend how it was there, he said he couldn't complain 3. My girlfriend started smoking, so I slowed down and applied Lubricant. 4. Don't let an extra chromosome get you down. 5. I haven't talked to my wife in three weeks. I didn't want to interrupt her. 6. People used to laugh at me when I would say "l want to be a comedian", well nobody's laughing now 7. My wife told me to stop impersonating a flamingo. I had to put my foot down 8. Throwing acid is wrong, in some people's eyes. 9. My wife and I were happy for twenty years; then we met. 10. I haven't slept for three days, because that would be too long. 11. The first time I got a universal remote control, I thought to myself "This changes everything." 12. My grandfather has the heart of a lion and a lifetime ban from the local zoo 13. Say what you want about deaf people... 14. I've spent the past four years looking for my ex-girlfriend's killer, but no one will do it. 15. I saw a sign that said "watch for children" and I thought, "That sounds like a fair trade." 16. I refused to believe my road worker father was stealing from his job, but when I got home, all the signs were there. 17. I recently decided to sell my vacuum cleaner, all it was doing was gathering dust. 18. People say I'm condescending. That means i talk down to people. 19. You can never lose a homing pigeon if your homing pigeon doesn't come back, what you've lost is a pigeon 20. Whiteboards are remarkable. 21. I was at an ATM and this old lady asked me to help check her balance, so I pushed her over. VIA 9GAG.COM Just some good old one liners

Just some good old one liners

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Children, Funny, and Meme: 21 Best One-Liner Jokes Ever 1. I hate Russian dolls, they're so full of themselves 2. I asked my North Korean friend how it was there, he said he couldn't complain 3. My girlfriend started smoking, so I slowed down and applied Lubricant 4. Don't let an extra chromosome get you down 5. I haven't talked to my wife in three weeks. I didn't want to interrupt her. 6. People used to laugh at me when I would say "I want to be a comedian", well nobody's laughing now 7. My wife told me to stop impersonating a flamingo. I had to put my foot down 8. Throwing acid is wrong, in some people's eyes 9. My wife and I were happy for twenty years, then we met 10. I haven't slept for three days, because that would be too long 11. The first time I got a universal remote control, I thought to myself "This changes everything." 12. My grandfather has the heart of a lion and a lifetime ban from the local zoo 13. Say what you want about deaf people 14. I've spent the past four years looking for my ex-girlfriend's killer, but no one will do it 15. I saw a sign that said "watch for children" and I thought, "That sounds like a fair trade." 16. I refused to believe my road worker father was stealing from his job, but when I got home, all the signs were there 17. I recently decided to sell my vacuum cleaner, all it was doing was gathering dust 18. People say I'm condescending. That means i talk down to people 19. You can never lose a homing pigeon if your homing pigeon doesn't come back, what you've lost is a pigeon 20. Whiteboards are remarkable 21. I was at an ATM and this old lady asked me to help check her balance, so I pushed her over. <p>One-Liner Jokes That Are Actually Funny.<br/><a href="http://daily-meme.tumblr.com"><span style="color: #0000cd;"><a href="http://daily-meme.tumblr.com/">http://daily-meme.tumblr.com/</a></span></a></p>

One-Liner Jokes That Are Actually Funny.http://daily-meme.tumblr.com/

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