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Beautiful, Cats, and Family: lord-kitschener Obviously I want you to take care of your pets and make sure they get food and fresh water on a regular basis, but cats being huge drama queens and screaming hysterically at you and acting like they're tragic famine victims who haven't eaten in weeks and are about to drop dead from starvation right mcfuckin now because you're 10 minutes late feeding them is always going to be one of the funniest things to me artaeum the cat who lives at the vet clinic i volunteer at was mad yesterday because his dinner was half an hour late due to a busy day. he proceeded to go to all the (empty dw) garbage cans and tried to knock them over and started desperately scavenging for scraps of food because obviously no one loves him or cares about him and if he must eat garbage to survive then so be it instructionsfordancing not food related, but one time my cat cried at me for 20 minutes before i worked out that the reason why she was upset was because there was a coat hanger on her favourite cushion lord-kitschener This is absolutely beautiful and changed my life, thank you so much. Please protect her from hangers at all costs catsuggest wow. am STORVING and humaines here making joke laugh at cate honger ?! goldenmeme My cat is a social eater who is not food motivated at all, so I was baffled when I first got him because he didn't seem to care about food but he would SCREAM at me for hours when I knew his bowl was full. Any time l went to double check that he did indeed have food, he'd book it to the bowl and snarf like his life depended on it, but as soon as l walked away he'd follow me screaming again. Eventually I figured out that he just wanted a dining companion and was screaming about how we're a family and families eat together, god damnit! I moved his food bowl under my computer desk and it fixed the problem. But if I'm ever out for more than 12 hours I'll come home to find him in a passive-aggressive kitty huff because dinner has been ready for hours but he's been trying to be considerate (unlike some humans) and waiting for me to eat it. teashoesandhair Things my cat has cried at: I wouldn't let her jump on top of the burning hot stove .I moved my coat so that she couldn't scale the kitchen chair and jump on people's shoulders when they walked past I didn't scratch her cheek firmly enough She ate her entire meal allowance for the day in one sitting at 9am and was famished by 10am I didn't let her sit behind me on the toilet seat I wouldn't let her eat toothpaste I wouldn't let her eat the cork from a wine bottle I wouldn't let her eat the straw that my rabbit had pissed on . . . Cats are inherently ridiculous creatures and this is why they are perfect. wishyroses Cats are like two year olds but sharp Source: lord-kitschener 122,537 notes Mine would bang on the mirror every morning for his breakfast. It was just leaning against the wall and pretty flimsy so it was LOUD
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Animals, Beautiful, and Cats: CHEETAHS ARE VERY NERVOUS ANIMALS AND SOME ZOOS GIVE THEM "SUPPORT VOGS" TO KEEP THEM RELAXED PAT AT PAT YOURE SO AMAZING! PAT AT PAT THANKS PAT PAT @XERGİON <p><a href="https://cezarywho.tumblr.com/post/167581849007/madlori-tastefullyoffensive-by-xergion-this" class="tumblr_blog" target="_blank">cezarywho</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a href="http://madlori.tumblr.com/post/164294672605/tastefullyoffensive-by-xergion-this-is-true-the" class="tumblr_blog" target="_blank">madlori</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a href="http://tumblr.tastefullyoffensive.com/post/164218835138/by-xergion" class="tumblr_blog" target="_blank">tastefullyoffensive</a>:</p> <blockquote><p>by <a href="https://twitter.com/Xergion" target="_blank">Xergion</a></p></blockquote> <p>This is true! The zoo where I volunteer (the illustrious Columbus Zoo &amp; Aquarium) was one of the pioneers of this program.</p> <figure class="tmblr-full" data-orig-height="675" data-orig-width="1200"><img src="https://78.media.tumblr.com/d010543f9d0d156f865461df67d942fd/tumblr_inline_ouu6c6hOEv1qiw5v7_540.jpg" data-orig-height="675" data-orig-width="1200"/></figure><p>Our zoo is known for raising cheetah cubs. Cheetahs have a terrible infant mortality rate and cubs are often rejected, so we get a lot of cubs to raise from all over the country (other zoos and sanctuaries, mostly).</p> <p>The cubs are placed with a puppy friend when they are wee and small, so they grow up together like littermates. They play together, wrestle, and the dogs (yellow Labs) are so calm, friendly and well-socialized that the cheetahs take behavioral cues from them. When they meet new people, or go into new situations (which they often do, as ambassador animals for cheetah conservation), they check out if their dog friend is feeling chill - which he is - and then they know it’s okay for them to be chill, too.</p> <p>Basically the dog is a service animal for them.</p> <p>The cats need their dog friends less and less as they get older and more comfortable, but they still often hang out as grownups.</p> <figure class="tmblr-full" data-orig-height="630" data-orig-width="1200"><img src="https://78.media.tumblr.com/47e42a3afd80fd0b61e4bcde0eeac373/tumblr_inline_ouu6hi2zfY1qiw5v7_540.jpg" data-orig-height="630" data-orig-width="1200"/></figure><p>Our zoo does cheetah runs, where the cheetahs get to chase a lure and show off their speed. Often they’ll have one of the cheetahs run (we have like twelve cheetah), and then they’ll have one of the dogs do the run to show how much faster the cats are. People get a kick out of that. The dogs…let’s just say they try their best.</p> </blockquote> <p>Omg I’m crying, this is so beautiful. 😭</p> </blockquote>

cezarywho: madlori: tastefullyoffensive: by Xergion This is true! The zoo where I volunteer (the illustrious Columbus Zoo & Aquarium) was ...

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Animals, Aww, and Cats: CHEETAHS ARE VERY NERVOUS ANIMALS AND SOME ZOOS GIVE THEM "SUPPORT VOGS" TO KEEP THEM RELAXED PAT AT PAT YOURE SO AMAZING! PAT AT PAT THANKS PAT PAT @XERGİON mallorierocks09: benteja: holmesandtheroman: madlori: tastefullyoffensive: by Xergion This is true! The zoo where I volunteer (the illustrious Columbus Zoo Aquarium) was one of the pioneers of this program. Our zoo is known for raising cheetah cubs. Cheetahs have a terrible infant mortality rate and cubs are often rejected, so we get a lot of cubs to raise from all over the country (other zoos and sanctuaries, mostly). The cubs are placed with a puppy friend when they are wee and small, so they grow up together like littermates. They play together, wrestle, and the dogs (yellow Labs) are so calm, friendly and well-socialized that the cheetahs take behavioral cues from them. When they meet new people, or go into new situations (which they often do, as ambassador animals for cheetah conservation), they check out if their dog friend is feeling chill - which he is - and then they know it’s okay for them to be chill, too. Basically the dog is a service animal for them. The cats need their dog friends less and less as they get older and more comfortable, but they still often hang out as grownups. Our zoo does cheetah runs, where the cheetahs get to chase a lure and show off their speed. Often they’ll have one of the cheetahs run (we have like twelve cheetah), and then they’ll have one of the dogs do the run to show how much faster the cats are. People get a kick out of that. The dogs…let’s just say they try their best. DISNEY MOVIE ABOUT CHEETAH GOING ON A JOURNEY TO FIND HER SILLY DOGGO FRIEND Disney Cheetah and Doggo? HAD TO SKETCH IT! I can’t even breathe, ONE AWW AND BREATHLESS!

mallorierocks09: benteja: holmesandtheroman: madlori: tastefullyoffensive: by Xergion This is true! The zoo where I volunteer (the illus...

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Ass, Be Like, and Grandma: I volunteer at a shelter. Today a 7 year resident, Skip, was adopted. He's pretty happy about it Pic: Reddit u/boobsnbabies @DrSmashlove I’ve heard recent reports from three of my lil homegirls that a man they are dealing with romantically has texted her asking her to send a UBER to pick him up and bring her to his crib. Lemme do a lil historical recap. Our forefathers would remove they jacket and lay it upon a puddle so that they girl would not have to wet her feet bruv. He would give a woman his jacket when she was cold. Hold doors open. Leave little love notes hidden around her spot. Come meet her parents, and he cut his hair and shine his shoes and pick up flowers for her mama beforehand. U feel me? Chivalry. Chivalrous ass Prince Charmings, bruv. Fast forward to 2017: “send me an UBER if u want 2 c daddy”. Send a UBER to pick up daddy, bruv? U the daddy but u need financial assistance to transport to her crib? U might have been daddy at one time but even if the pipe game super on point if she sending UBER’s u da baby and she da mommy now. Look up “man” in Webster Thesaurus and the antonyms be like “boy; lad; he who requesteth transport in an UBER vehicle from a woman with whomst he hath engaged in romantic relations” - this is Webster bruv the Man smart! He predicted this shit! 😂 Anyway bruv I ain’t even mad. Not even remotely mad. Instead: thankful. Y’all making all the men who display even a modicum of chivalry look like cot damn Romeos out dis bish. We love y’all. Y’all special. Y’all loyal. Y’all gon find a woman who gon take care of u and be the mommy u need. Y’all gotta be good to her tho! She might cut off yo allowance. Take away yo iPad so u can’t watch Jake Paul YouTube videos no more. U in line with her at Panera like “I WANT CHOCOLATE CHIP BAGEL!!” And she like “BAD BOYS DON’T GET CHOCOLATE CHIP BAGELS TIMMY.” And u just like “I AT LEAST WANT A GOGURT! GOGURT MOMMY GOGURT!” And she gotta take u back to the minivan and spank u. Yo great grandpa took yo great grandma to the sock hop and the drive in movies, treating her to burgers and shakes, now u being disciplined by yo woman like a disobedient child Bruv. My how things change. All because U asked for a UBER. Y’all be safe out there! 😂😂😂
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Animals, Cats, and Chill: CHEETAHS ARE VERY NERVOUS ANIMALS AND SOME ZOOS GIVE THEM "SUPPORT VOGS" TO KEEP THEM RELAXED PAT AT PAT YOURE SO AMAZING! PAT AT PAT THANKS PAT PAT @XERGİON benteja: holmesandtheroman: madlori: tastefullyoffensive: by Xergion This is true! The zoo where I volunteer (the illustrious Columbus Zoo Aquarium) was one of the pioneers of this program. Our zoo is known for raising cheetah cubs. Cheetahs have a terrible infant mortality rate and cubs are often rejected, so we get a lot of cubs to raise from all over the country (other zoos and sanctuaries, mostly). The cubs are placed with a puppy friend when they are wee and small, so they grow up together like littermates. They play together, wrestle, and the dogs (yellow Labs) are so calm, friendly and well-socialized that the cheetahs take behavioral cues from them. When they meet new people, or go into new situations (which they often do, as ambassador animals for cheetah conservation), they check out if their dog friend is feeling chill - which he is - and then they know it’s okay for them to be chill, too. Basically the dog is a service animal for them. The cats need their dog friends less and less as they get older and more comfortable, but they still often hang out as grownups. Our zoo does cheetah runs, where the cheetahs get to chase a lure and show off their speed. Often they’ll have one of the cheetahs run (we have like twelve cheetah), and then they’ll have one of the dogs do the run to show how much faster the cats are. People get a kick out of that. The dogs…let’s just say they try their best. DISNEY MOVIE ABOUT CHEETAH GOING ON A JOURNEY TO FIND HER SILLY DOGGO FRIEND Disney Cheetah and Doggo? HAD TO SKETCH IT!

benteja: holmesandtheroman: madlori: tastefullyoffensive: by Xergion This is true! The zoo where I volunteer (the illustrious Columbus Zo...

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Animals, Cats, and Chill: CHEETAHS ARE VERY NERVOUS ANIMALS AND SOME ZOOS GIVE THEM "SUPPORT VOGS" TO KEEP THEM RELAXED PAT AT PAT YOURE SO AMAZING! PAT AT PAT THANKS PAT PAT @XERGİON madlori: tastefullyoffensive: by Xergion This is true! The zoo where I volunteer (the illustrious Columbus Zoo Aquarium) was one of the pioneers of this program. Our zoo is known for raising cheetah cubs. Cheetahs have a terrible infant mortality rate and cubs are often rejected, so we get a lot of cubs to raise from all over the country (other zoos and sanctuaries, mostly). The cubs are placed with a puppy friend when they are wee and small, so they grow up together like littermates. They play together, wrestle, and the dogs (yellow Labs) are so calm, friendly and well-socialized that the cheetahs take behavioral cues from them. When they meet new people, or go into new situations (which they often do, as ambassador animals for cheetah conservation), they check out if their dog friend is feeling chill - which he is - and then they know it’s okay for them to be chill, too. Basically the dog is a service animal for them. The cats need their dog friends less and less as they get older and more comfortable, but they still often hang out as grownups. Our zoo does cheetah runs, where the cheetahs get to chase a lure and show off their speed. Often they’ll have one of the cheetahs run (we have like twelve cheetah), and then they’ll have one of the dogs do the run to show how much faster the cats are. People get a kick out of that. The dogs…let’s just say they try their best.

madlori: tastefullyoffensive: by Xergion This is true! The zoo where I volunteer (the illustrious Columbus Zoo Aquarium) was one of the pio...

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4chan, Apple, and Ass: >be 32 >be neuroscientist working on transferring consciousness to a computer >Newton is my idol >I sit under an apple tree to think all 958 KB JPG day one day an apple falls from the tree and lands on a sapling >then it hits me. know how to achieve singularity >l test my theory on rats first >shit works >sell roborats to children to continue funding >I try it on monkeys as well its funny to watch them wonder why they have no feces to throw research progresses to the point where we can test it on humans >I volunteer to be the first human trial coworkers build me a robot body hey begin downloading my consciousness >me.txt the transfer was a success but they didn't give me a robot penis >tumblr will find a label for me >my robot brain is much better at solving problems and am able to advance scientific progression tenfold >people start to envy my knowledge and immortality rich people pay to have the procedure done while poor people can't afford it the wealth gap grows exponentially >I foresee an inevitable war >build a spaceship with nuclear fusion reactor so I can ditch this sorry ass planet >I travel space and meet many forms of Intelligent life eventually I discover the key to true immortality beyond that of my robot body >I complete the process, but when gaze into the eternal horizon, I think only of my childhood when everything was full of wonder in that moment my only goal became reproducing the world that had sparked my fascination >l settle on a planet like earth and spend a week using nuclear fusion to reproduce the land and the oceans and genetic coding to recreate life >I create another apple tree to sit under so that l can ponder my existence my memories of childhood seem to be all l can think about >finally I create a man and a woman to remind me of my innocence that innocence is precious to me so I give them the one condition that they stay away from my apple tree >mfw that bitch didn't listen Sorry ass planet
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