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        Ass, Bad, and Crime: wait, you're jewish?
 i wanna die so bad right now
 -waaaaay too tall
 -blood is 3% soda
 -literally murders innocents and is still
 widely considered a "smol bean"
 -good relationship with their mom
 -hobbies range from making origami to
 plotting to blow up the moon
 -really their height is just unreasonable
 and very intimidating
 i heard you've been saying some shit
 grandparents live in korea
 -little ball of anger
 -uses napalm as moisturiser
 -no one is sure if they're actually
 racist or not
 thinks they can speak german
 -lists "kicking inanimate objects"
 as a hobby
 got sold fake cocaine once
 about me on your blog
 -damaged
 -iterally no one can bring themselves to like
 -communicates only in grunts
 -writes terrible fiction
 -goes out of their way to upset others
 -trying desperately to hide the gay (failing)
 -says shit like "adios" (doesn't speak spanish
 -leaves agressive voicemails
 -used to be emo
 -gets drunk and stabs inanimate objects
 -has an alien girlfriends and also 700 alter egos
 -is 103% sure that the world is out to get them
 way too many Ns
 little miss finland
 turns to camera in shock ADAM
 supreme gentleman
 -absolutely deplorable
 shoves an american flag up their ass
 most mornings
 takes selfies everywhere
 -everywhere i said
 loves their pets
 -finds depressive thinking arousing
 horrible handwriting
 tries. fails.
 -wants to be Wait, You're Jewish? but can't does rude shit but no one can stay
 -uses air quotes to patronise others
 -"feminism is stupid"
 -can't get laid
 -has probably had lip injections. and ego
 injections.
 "why do girls always go for douchebags"
 -wears sunglasses indoors. at night. in
 december. after the last star in the galaxy
 has burned out.
 mad at them
 -all gods are fictional except for themselfays gets asked for I.D.
 -makes fun of soccer moms but doesn't act hasn't taken a flattering photo in 7
 -says weird shit 97% of the time
 -wears t-shirts with edgy slogans
 -has v few friends but the friendships they clasifies self as a "cool kid"
 will not get a haircut
 hasn't slept ever
 do have a frighteningly intense
 56
 brennan's burger bundies
 gets what they want because they are-worships satan
 -known as the zodiac killer
 -takes off their glasses and becomes
 ets
 morbid sense of humour that
 occasionally gets them in trouble
 wants to have you (over) for dinner
 behaves drunk while sober and also
 while drunk.
 -vastly overestimates their ability to get
 away with things
 -does absolutely nothing in a group
 project and no one gets mad
 -dog person
 -has brushed their teeth less than 7
 times since birth
 probably borrowed their cheekbones
 off a meth addict
 -greasy grease on top of their grease
jeffreysdrunk:

luvoxxx:

Okeeey so I don’t usually post stuff but a friend of mine asked me to make a true crime tag yourself and I thought tumblr might appreciate it. I have no idea why there’s like 400 typos in it I swear English is my first language wtf. Anyway it’s just a meme it’s not meant to be disrespectful or gross or anything please enjoy my completely unfunny sense of humour. (Also I blatantly stole the  d a m a g e d  thing from another tag yourself I apologise)

I’m grandparents live in Korea and Dahmer lol

Way too many Ns *turns to camera in shock* Adam
        

            
            

                
                
                    Ass, Bad, and Crime: wait, you're jewish?
 i wanna die so bad right now
 -waaaaay too tall
 -blood is 3% soda
 -literally murders innocents and is still
 widely considered a "smol bean"
 -good relationship with their mom
 -hobbies range from making origami to
 plotting to blow up the moon
 -really their height is just unreasonable
 and very intimidating
 i heard you've been saying some shit
 grandparents live in korea
 -little ball of anger
 -uses napalm as moisturiser
 -no one is sure if they're actually
 racist or not
 thinks they can speak german
 -lists "kicking inanimate objects"
 as a hobby
 got sold fake cocaine once
 about me on your blog
 -damaged
 -iterally no one can bring themselves to like
 -communicates only in grunts
 -writes terrible fiction
 -goes out of their way to upset others
 -trying desperately to hide the gay (failing)
 -says shit like "adios" (doesn't speak spanish
 -leaves agressive voicemails
 -used to be emo
 -gets drunk and stabs inanimate objects
 -has an alien girlfriends and also 700 alter egos
 -is 103% sure that the world is out to get them
 way too many Ns
 little miss finland
 turns to camera in shock ADAM
 supreme gentleman
 -absolutely deplorable
 shoves an american flag up their ass
 most mornings
 takes selfies everywhere
 -everywhere i said
 loves their pets
 -finds depressive thinking arousing
 horrible handwriting
 tries. fails.
 -wants to be Wait, You're Jewish? but can't does rude shit but no one can stay
 -uses air quotes to patronise others
 -"feminism is stupid"
 -can't get laid
 -has probably had lip injections. and ego
 injections.
 "why do girls always go for douchebags"
 -wears sunglasses indoors. at night. in
 december. after the last star in the galaxy
 has burned out.
 mad at them
 -all gods are fictional except for themselfays gets asked for I.D.
 -makes fun of soccer moms but doesn't act hasn't taken a flattering photo in 7
 -says weird shit 97% of the time
 -wears t-shirts with edgy slogans
 -has v few friends but the friendships they clasifies self as a "cool kid"
 will not get a haircut
 hasn't slept ever
 do have a frighteningly intense
 56
 brennan's burger bundies
 gets what they want because they are-worships satan
 -known as the zodiac killer
 -takes off their glasses and becomes
 ets
 morbid sense of humour that
 occasionally gets them in trouble
 wants to have you (over) for dinner
 behaves drunk while sober and also
 while drunk.
 -vastly overestimates their ability to get
 away with things
 -does absolutely nothing in a group
 project and no one gets mad
 -dog person
 -has brushed their teeth less than 7
 times since birth
 probably borrowed their cheekbones
 off a meth addict
 -greasy grease on top of their grease
jeffreysdrunk:

luvoxxx:

Okeeey so I don’t usually post stuff but a friend of mine asked me to make a true crime tag yourself and I thought tumblr might appreciate it. I have no idea why there’s like 400 typos in it I swear English is my first language wtf. Anyway it’s just a meme it’s not meant to be disrespectful or gross or anything please enjoy my completely unfunny sense of humour. (Also I blatantly stole the  d a m a g e d  thing from another tag yourself I apologise)

I’m grandparents live in Korea and Dahmer lol

Way too many Ns *turns to camera in shock* Adam
                    
                
            

            
            
        

    

    

        
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        America, Animals, and Bad: <p><a href="http://friendly-neighborhood-patriarch.tumblr.com/post/175579962122/mitchfynde-keyhollow-reasonandempathy" class="tumblr_blog">friendly-neighborhood-patriarch</a>:</p>

<blockquote><p><a href="https://mitchfynde.tumblr.com/post/175579922704/keyhollow-reasonandempathy-keyhollow" class="tumblr_blog">mitchfynde</a>:</p><blockquote>
<p><a href="http://keyhollow.tumblr.com/post/175565878565/reasonandempathy-keyhollow" class="tumblr_blog">keyhollow</a>:</p>

<blockquote>
<p><a href="http://reasonandempathy.tumblr.com/post/175561612386/keyhollow-reasonandempathy-keyhollow" class="tumblr_blog">reasonandempathy</a>:</p>

<blockquote>
<p><a href="http://keyhollow.tumblr.com/post/175557395325/reasonandempathy-keyhollow-sandandglass" class="tumblr_blog">keyhollow</a>:</p>
<blockquote>
<p><a href="http://reasonandempathy.tumblr.com/post/175557203871/keyhollow-sandandglass-donald-trump-gets" class="tumblr_blog">reasonandempathy</a>:</p>

<blockquote>
<p><a href="http://keyhollow.tumblr.com/post/175556959640/sandandglass-donald-trump-gets-attacked-by-an" class="tumblr_blog">keyhollow</a>:</p>
<blockquote>
<p><a href="http://sandandglass.tumblr.com/post/134917792292/donald-trump-gets-attacked-by-an-eagle-this" class="tumblr_blog">sandandglass</a>:</p>
<blockquote>
<p><i><b>Donald Trump
gets attacked by an eagle.</b></i></p>
<p><i>This eagle
truly represents America. What a majestic symbol.</i></p>
</blockquote>

<p>Y'all know it’s just reacting like any bird of prey would and isn’t some manifestation of any political party’s will because it’s a bird? </p>
<p>No?</p>
<p>Kay.</p>
</blockquote>
<p>That eagle was actually well-trained.</p>
<p>It attacked Trump not because “it’s a bird”.  It attacked Trump because Trump couldn’t keep his arm level and made for an insecure platform.  You have to keep your arm holding the bird very still or else they instinctively think “the branch is falling” and they try to fly off of it.</p>
<p>Which is why you hold large birds like this:</p>
<figure class="tmblr-full" data-orig-height="450" data-orig-width="337"><img src="https://78.media.tumblr.com/39721332512a60c09c918cc326ccb470/tumblr_inline_pbd9wzjuvL1tb6pwe_540.png" data-orig-height="450" data-orig-width="337"/></figure><figure data-orig-height="194" data-orig-width="259"><img src="https://78.media.tumblr.com/61e7a23eadf0693ab26b05c8664e2691/tumblr_inline_pbd9xfLykh1tb6pwe_540.png" data-orig-height="194" data-orig-width="259"/></figure><p>Elbow tucked in close to the body to support the weight.</p>
<p>Look in the first gif: the eagle was fine until Trump’s arm jerked downward because he couldn’t support the weight in that position.  He pulled away and his arm started flailing in the second gif, which is when the bird started to peck at him.</p>
<p>Then when Trump made a move similar to that of trying to grab a gauntlet (3rd gif), the bird stopped him because he showed the bird he was bad at actually supporting it.</p>
<p><br/></p>
<p>Trump didn’t know what to do, bungled it, and the bird was brooking none of his shit.</p>
</blockquote>

<p>Because even a TRAINED BIRD is still a bird and will react like a bird does. Because it’s a bird. And animals react as animals to do, even trained animals to improper handling. </p>
<p>Bird. </p>
</blockquote>
<p>I’m saying that the bird was entirely fine with people holding it, grabbing it, and was trained to be around people.</p>
<p><i>Unless</i> the person has actively done something wrong to tell the bird that they can’t be trusted.</p>
<p>Which is exactly what happened.</p>
<p><br/></p>
<p>It’s a literal gifset of Trump trying and failing almost immediately to live up to <strike>bird</strike>American standards.</p>
</blockquote>

<p>So he doesn’t live up to American standards because he doesn’t know how to properly handle a large bird. Is what ya sayin to me. Because the bird behaves like a bird and he isn’t exactly versed in birds. Okay. </p>
</blockquote>

<p>I wanna die.</p>
</blockquote>
<p>Sam Eagle doesn’t trust Trump’s foreign policy.</p><p>AND NEITHER SHOULD YOU</p></blockquote>

<p>This post is all over the place because yes it’s a bird, but No it didn’t just randomly attack him simply because it’s a bird. Yes it probably attacked because it was being improperly held, but no that is not some secret sign of Trump’s unworthiness as president. It’s a sign of Trump not being a professional bird handler.</p>
        

            
            

                
                
                    America, Animals, and Bad: <p><a href="http://friendly-neighborhood-patriarch.tumblr.com/post/175579962122/mitchfynde-keyhollow-reasonandempathy" class="tumblr_blog">friendly-neighborhood-patriarch</a>:</p>

<blockquote><p><a href="https://mitchfynde.tumblr.com/post/175579922704/keyhollow-reasonandempathy-keyhollow" class="tumblr_blog">mitchfynde</a>:</p><blockquote>
<p><a href="http://keyhollow.tumblr.com/post/175565878565/reasonandempathy-keyhollow" class="tumblr_blog">keyhollow</a>:</p>

<blockquote>
<p><a href="http://reasonandempathy.tumblr.com/post/175561612386/keyhollow-reasonandempathy-keyhollow" class="tumblr_blog">reasonandempathy</a>:</p>

<blockquote>
<p><a href="http://keyhollow.tumblr.com/post/175557395325/reasonandempathy-keyhollow-sandandglass" class="tumblr_blog">keyhollow</a>:</p>
<blockquote>
<p><a href="http://reasonandempathy.tumblr.com/post/175557203871/keyhollow-sandandglass-donald-trump-gets" class="tumblr_blog">reasonandempathy</a>:</p>

<blockquote>
<p><a href="http://keyhollow.tumblr.com/post/175556959640/sandandglass-donald-trump-gets-attacked-by-an" class="tumblr_blog">keyhollow</a>:</p>
<blockquote>
<p><a href="http://sandandglass.tumblr.com/post/134917792292/donald-trump-gets-attacked-by-an-eagle-this" class="tumblr_blog">sandandglass</a>:</p>
<blockquote>
<p><i><b>Donald Trump
gets attacked by an eagle.</b></i></p>
<p><i>This eagle
truly represents America. What a majestic symbol.</i></p>
</blockquote>

<p>Y'all know it’s just reacting like any bird of prey would and isn’t some manifestation of any political party’s will because it’s a bird? </p>
<p>No?</p>
<p>Kay.</p>
</blockquote>
<p>That eagle was actually well-trained.</p>
<p>It attacked Trump not because “it’s a bird”.  It attacked Trump because Trump couldn’t keep his arm level and made for an insecure platform.  You have to keep your arm holding the bird very still or else they instinctively think “the branch is falling” and they try to fly off of it.</p>
<p>Which is why you hold large birds like this:</p>
<figure class="tmblr-full" data-orig-height="450" data-orig-width="337"><img src="https://78.media.tumblr.com/39721332512a60c09c918cc326ccb470/tumblr_inline_pbd9wzjuvL1tb6pwe_540.png" data-orig-height="450" data-orig-width="337"/></figure><figure data-orig-height="194" data-orig-width="259"><img src="https://78.media.tumblr.com/61e7a23eadf0693ab26b05c8664e2691/tumblr_inline_pbd9xfLykh1tb6pwe_540.png" data-orig-height="194" data-orig-width="259"/></figure><p>Elbow tucked in close to the body to support the weight.</p>
<p>Look in the first gif: the eagle was fine until Trump’s arm jerked downward because he couldn’t support the weight in that position.  He pulled away and his arm started flailing in the second gif, which is when the bird started to peck at him.</p>
<p>Then when Trump made a move similar to that of trying to grab a gauntlet (3rd gif), the bird stopped him because he showed the bird he was bad at actually supporting it.</p>
<p><br/></p>
<p>Trump didn’t know what to do, bungled it, and the bird was brooking none of his shit.</p>
</blockquote>

<p>Because even a TRAINED BIRD is still a bird and will react like a bird does. Because it’s a bird. And animals react as animals to do, even trained animals to improper handling. </p>
<p>Bird. </p>
</blockquote>
<p>I’m saying that the bird was entirely fine with people holding it, grabbing it, and was trained to be around people.</p>
<p><i>Unless</i> the person has actively done something wrong to tell the bird that they can’t be trusted.</p>
<p>Which is exactly what happened.</p>
<p><br/></p>
<p>It’s a literal gifset of Trump trying and failing almost immediately to live up to <strike>bird</strike>American standards.</p>
</blockquote>

<p>So he doesn’t live up to American standards because he doesn’t know how to properly handle a large bird. Is what ya sayin to me. Because the bird behaves like a bird and he isn’t exactly versed in birds. Okay. </p>
</blockquote>

<p>I wanna die.</p>
</blockquote>
<p>Sam Eagle doesn’t trust Trump’s foreign policy.</p><p>AND NEITHER SHOULD YOU</p></blockquote>

<p>This post is all over the place because yes it’s a bird, but No it didn’t just randomly attack him simply because it’s a bird. Yes it probably attacked because it was being improperly held, but no that is not some secret sign of Trump’s unworthiness as president. It’s a sign of Trump not being a professional bird handler.</p>
                    
                    

                    
                
            

            
            
        

    

    

        
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