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Brains, Girls, and Lazy: icecream-eaterrr I just heard this woman say "you procrastinate because you are afraid of rejection. It's a defense mechanism, you are trying to protect yourself without even trying." and I think I just realized what was wrong with me eupheme-butterfly Yep, this is a very, very common reason for procrastinating. It's also why procrastination, even though it's often associated with laziness, is a fairly common trait in a lot of people with anxiety and perfectionism issues dsudis This idea You're not lazy, you're protecting yourself- hit me really hard while reading, of all things, Emily Nagoski's Come As You Are, which turns out to be as much about how brains work and how relationships work as how orgasms work. In an early part of the book she talks about Fight/Flight/Freeze responses to threats-the example she uses is being attacked by a lion You fight, if you think you can defeat the lion; you run away, if you think you can escape the lion; and when you think there's nothing you can do, when you feel the lion's jaws closing on your neck, you freeze, because dying will hurt less that way. You just stop and go numb and wait for it to be over, because that is the last way to protect any scrap of yourself Later in the book, she talks about the brain process that motivates you to pursue incentives, describing it as a little monitor that gauges your progress toward a goal versus the effort you're expending. If it feels like too little progress is being made you get frustrated, get angry, and, eventually, you.. despair. You stop trying You go numb and wait for it to be over, because that's the only way left to protect yourself. So it occurred to me that these are basically the same thing-when facing a difficult task, where failure feels like a Threat, you can get frustrated and fight it out-INCREASE DOING THE THING until you get where you're going Or you can flee-try to solve the problem some other way than straight on, changing your goal, changing your approach, whatever. Fight or flight But both of those only apply when you think the problem is solvable, right? If the problem isn't solvable, then you freeze. You despair And if you're one of those Smart Kids (Smart Girls, especially) who was praised for being smart so that all tasks in the world came to be divided between Ooh This Is Easy and I DON'T KNOW IF I CAN DO THAT AND IF I FUCK UP I WILL DIE, then... it's pretty easy to see how you lose the frustration/anger stage of working toward a goal, because your brain goes straight to freeze/despair every time. Things are easy and routine or they are straight up impossible So, you know, any time you manage to pull yourself up and give that lion a smack on the nose, or go stumbling away from it instead of just falling down like a fainting goat as soon as you spot it on the horizon, give yourself a gold star from me. Because this is some deeply wired survival-brain stuff. Even if logically you know that that term paper is not a lion, it really is like that sometimes Source: icecream-eaterrr 517,124 notes Procrastination
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America, Ass, and England: tumblr Follow priscellie later-homenuggets my friend left her window open in her bedroom and came back to find this look at his self-satisfied little face, the cheeky shit motherfucking australia amour-vengeance if there was a post to describe australia, this is it wait you mean to tell me this isn't even a pet bird? that in australia, you have wild birds that just fhy from house to house with the express purpose of fucking shit up? fucking HELL australia, what is wrong with you? lumoslouis wake up australia That's what birds do They fly around and fuck shit up Do you have some kind of mysterious nice birds in your weird foreign country Do birds in America and England fly into your house and make the bed and tidy up the living room a little bit kennilworthy-thisp It's cold here, so they just bounce off the windows and lie there and twitch spasmodically while you look for the shovel. happyvegetable Basically hurling themselves at windows is the worst thing birds do yeah man a kookaburra literally flew into a classroom at my high school and just sat his smug ass down on top of the desk for a good 20 minutes millshouse why has nobody mentioned the fact that in australia there are 3-4 months a year where everybody just accepts that they're going to get attacked by magpies. It is literally called "swooping season" and these birds will fly down to peck your fucking face, and people get their eyes ripped out and shit, it's fucking brutal. sociopathic-italian-grandmas My teacher had to go to hospital and have surgery because of swooping season. It was in the parking lot of school and all the kids would do a mad dash towards the car as the magpies tried to kill us. gallifrey-feels no but when you're 12 years old and riding your bike like mad on the way home from school with an icecream bucket on your head with like branches and shit sticking out if it to scare them off and none of this is considered strange ecnamor-lacimehc-ym what the actual fuck australia priscellie I am pretty sure all of these Australia stories are a massive, globally-spanning trolling effort, and only the people who have visited the country are allowed to be in on the joke seananmcguire Nope Went there Parrots tried to take our car Came home IN A FUCKING HURRY 587,061 notes Now thats just fowl play
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America, Apparently, and Ass: zornsable: reversingyourpolarity: elidyce: seananmcguire: priscellie: ecnamor-lacimehc-ym: gallifrey-feels: sociopathic-italian-grandmas: millshouse: meganiun: happyvegetable: kennilworthy-thisp: derinthemadscientist: lumoslouis: soloontherocks: amour-vengeance: later-homenuggets: my friend left her window open in her bedroom and came back to find this look at his self-satisfied little face, the cheeky shit motherfucking australia if there was a post to describe australia, this is it wait.  you mean to tell me this isn’t even a pet bird? that in australia, you have wild birds that just fly from house to house with the express purpose of fucking shit up? fucking HELL australia, what is wrong with you? wake up australia  That’s what birds do They fly around and fuck shit up Do you have some kind of mysterious nice birds in your weird foreign country Do birds in America and England fly into your house and make the bed and tidy up the living room a little bit It’s cold here, so they just bounce off the windows and lie there and twitch spasmodically while you look for the shovel. Basically hurling themselves at windows is the worst thing birds do yeah man a kookaburra literally flew into a classroom at my high school and just sat his smug ass down on top of the desk for a good 20 minutes why has nobody mentioned the fact that in australia there are 3-4 months a year where everybody just accepts that they’re going to get attacked by magpies. It is literally called “swooping season” and these birds will fly down to peck your fucking face, and people get their eyes ripped out and shit, it’s fucking brutal. My teacher had to go to hospital and have surgery because of swooping season. It was in the parking lot of school and all the kids would do a mad dash towards the car as the magpies tried to kill us. no but when you’re 12 years old and riding your bike like mad on the way home from school with an icecream bucket on your head with like branches and shit sticking out if it to scare them off and none of this is considered strange what the actual fuck australia  I am pretty sure all of these Australia stories are a massive, globally-spanning trolling effort, and only the people who have visited the country are allowed to be in on the joke. Nope. Went there. Parrots tried to take our car. Came home IN A FUCKING HURRY. Interesting thing about magpies - they’re not great at identifying individual humans visually, but if you make yourself identifiable in some way they’re usually open to reason. We used to have some very aggressive swoopers in our back yard - as soon as they realised that the humans *inside* the fence never bothered them and were the source of the delicious compost heap, they turned into flying black and white guard dogs who would viciously assault any passing stranger but never bothered anyone inside the yard. Several times they swooped at us when we approached from outside, then when we walked into the yard they would pull up and act incredibly apologetic like sorry ma’am I had no idea it was you I would never please don’t stop stocking the food pile. There was another little group of magpies in the park who would attack any solo pedestrian but never bothered anyone walking a dog or pushing a pram, because apparently those were identifiable traits indicating a non-threatening human. In the spirit of inquiry, I started going out of my way to be polite to the magpies - carefully walking a wide arc around them when they were on the ground, etc - and emitting an identifiable call of ‘hello birdie’ before swooping season started.  I spent the next ten years crossing that park at least once a day and as long as I turned at the first flutter of wings and said ‘hello birdie’ to the magpie waiting to attack as soon as my back was turned, I was fine. Every time, the magpie would stare at me for a minute and then fly off to harass some other pedestrian because apparently the magpies and I, we were cool.  Parrots are a lot less open to negotiation, and the little bastards travel in flocks. Beware the parrots.  Australia: the only country where it is necessary to sign a peace treaty with the birds in order to stay unmangled. They did lose the Emu War, after all.
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