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        Brains, Girls, and Lazy: icecream-eaterrr
 I just heard this woman say "you procrastinate
 because you are afraid of rejection. It's a
 defense mechanism, you are trying to protect
 yourself without even trying." and I think I just
 realized what was wrong with me
 eupheme-butterfly
 Yep, this is a very, very common reason for
 procrastinating. It's also why procrastination,
 even though it's often associated with
 laziness, is a fairly common trait in a lot of
 people with anxiety and perfectionism issues
 dsudis
 This idea You're not lazy, you're protecting
 yourself- hit me really hard while reading, of
 all things, Emily Nagoski's Come As You Are,
 which turns out to be as much about how
 brains work and how relationships work as
 how orgasms work.
 In an early part of the book she talks about
 Fight/Flight/Freeze responses to threats-the
 example she uses is being attacked by a lion
 You fight, if you think you can defeat the lion;
 you run away, if you think you can escape the
 lion; and when you think there's nothing you
 can do, when you feel the lion's jaws closing
 on your neck, you freeze, because dying will
 hurt less that way. You just stop and go numb
 and wait for it to be over, because that is the
 last way to protect any scrap of yourself
 Later in the book, she talks about the brain
 process that motivates you to pursue
 incentives, describing it as a little monitor
 that gauges your progress toward a goal
 versus the effort you're expending. If it feels
 like too little progress is being made you get
 frustrated, get angry, and, eventually, you..
 despair. You stop trying
 You go numb and wait for it to be over,
 because that's the only way left to protect
 yourself.
 So it occurred to me that these are basically
 the same thing-when facing a difficult task,
 where failure feels like a Threat, you can get
 frustrated and fight it out-INCREASE DOING
 THE THING until you get where you're going
 Or you can flee-try to solve the problem some
 other way than straight on, changing your
 goal, changing your approach, whatever. Fight
 or flight
 But both of those only apply when you think
 the problem is solvable, right? If the problem
 isn't solvable, then you freeze. You despair
 And if you're one of those Smart Kids (Smart
 Girls, especially) who was praised for being
 smart so that all tasks in the world came to
 be divided between Ooh This Is Easy and I
 DON'T KNOW IF I CAN DO THAT AND IF I
 FUCK UP I WILL DIE, then... it's pretty easy
 to see how you lose the frustration/anger
 stage of working toward a goal, because your
 brain goes straight to freeze/despair every
 time. Things are easy and routine or they are
 straight up impossible
 So, you know, any time you manage to pull
 yourself up and give that lion a smack on the
 nose, or go stumbling away from it instead of
 just falling down like a fainting goat as soon
 as you spot it on the horizon, give yourself
 a gold star from me. Because this is some
 deeply wired survival-brain stuff. Even if
 logically you know that that term paper is not
 a lion, it really is like that sometimes
 Source: icecream-eaterrr
 517,124 notes
Procrastination
        

            
            

                
                
                    Brains, Girls, and Lazy: icecream-eaterrr
 I just heard this woman say "you procrastinate
 because you are afraid of rejection. It's a
 defense mechanism, you are trying to protect
 yourself without even trying." and I think I just
 realized what was wrong with me
 eupheme-butterfly
 Yep, this is a very, very common reason for
 procrastinating. It's also why procrastination,
 even though it's often associated with
 laziness, is a fairly common trait in a lot of
 people with anxiety and perfectionism issues
 dsudis
 This idea You're not lazy, you're protecting
 yourself- hit me really hard while reading, of
 all things, Emily Nagoski's Come As You Are,
 which turns out to be as much about how
 brains work and how relationships work as
 how orgasms work.
 In an early part of the book she talks about
 Fight/Flight/Freeze responses to threats-the
 example she uses is being attacked by a lion
 You fight, if you think you can defeat the lion;
 you run away, if you think you can escape the
 lion; and when you think there's nothing you
 can do, when you feel the lion's jaws closing
 on your neck, you freeze, because dying will
 hurt less that way. You just stop and go numb
 and wait for it to be over, because that is the
 last way to protect any scrap of yourself
 Later in the book, she talks about the brain
 process that motivates you to pursue
 incentives, describing it as a little monitor
 that gauges your progress toward a goal
 versus the effort you're expending. If it feels
 like too little progress is being made you get
 frustrated, get angry, and, eventually, you..
 despair. You stop trying
 You go numb and wait for it to be over,
 because that's the only way left to protect
 yourself.
 So it occurred to me that these are basically
 the same thing-when facing a difficult task,
 where failure feels like a Threat, you can get
 frustrated and fight it out-INCREASE DOING
 THE THING until you get where you're going
 Or you can flee-try to solve the problem some
 other way than straight on, changing your
 goal, changing your approach, whatever. Fight
 or flight
 But both of those only apply when you think
 the problem is solvable, right? If the problem
 isn't solvable, then you freeze. You despair
 And if you're one of those Smart Kids (Smart
 Girls, especially) who was praised for being
 smart so that all tasks in the world came to
 be divided between Ooh This Is Easy and I
 DON'T KNOW IF I CAN DO THAT AND IF I
 FUCK UP I WILL DIE, then... it's pretty easy
 to see how you lose the frustration/anger
 stage of working toward a goal, because your
 brain goes straight to freeze/despair every
 time. Things are easy and routine or they are
 straight up impossible
 So, you know, any time you manage to pull
 yourself up and give that lion a smack on the
 nose, or go stumbling away from it instead of
 just falling down like a fainting goat as soon
 as you spot it on the horizon, give yourself
 a gold star from me. Because this is some
 deeply wired survival-brain stuff. Even if
 logically you know that that term paper is not
 a lion, it really is like that sometimes
 Source: icecream-eaterrr
 517,124 notes
Procrastination
                    
                
            

            
            
        

    

    

        
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        America, Ass, and England: tumblr
 Follow
 priscellie
 later-homenuggets
 my friend left her window open in her bedroom and came back to find this
 look at his self-satisfied little face, the cheeky shit
 motherfucking australia
 amour-vengeance
 if there was a post to describe australia, this is it
 wait
 you mean to tell me this isn't even a pet bird?
 that in australia, you have wild birds that just fhy from house to house with the
 express purpose of fucking shit up?
 fucking
 HELL australia, what is wrong with you?
 lumoslouis
 wake up australia
 That's what birds do
 They fly around and fuck shit up
 Do you have some kind of mysterious nice birds in your weird foreign country
 Do birds in America and England fly into your house and make the bed and tidy
 up the living room a little bit
 kennilworthy-thisp
 It's cold here, so they just bounce off the windows and lie there and twitch
 spasmodically while you look for the shovel.
 happyvegetable
 Basically hurling themselves at windows is the worst thing birds do
 yeah man a kookaburra literally flew into a classroom at my high school and just
 sat his smug ass down on top of the desk for a good 20 minutes
 millshouse
 why has nobody mentioned the fact that in australia there are 3-4 months a year
 where everybody just accepts that they're going to get attacked by magpies. It is
 literally called "swooping season" and these birds will fly down to peck your
 fucking face, and people get their eyes ripped out and shit, it's fucking brutal.
 sociopathic-italian-grandmas
 My teacher had to go to hospital and have surgery because of swooping season.
 It was in the parking lot of school and all the kids would do a mad dash towards
 the car as the magpies tried to kill us.
 gallifrey-feels
 no but when you're 12 years old and riding your bike like mad on the way home
 from school with an icecream bucket on your head with like branches and shit
 sticking out if it to scare them off and none of this is considered strange
 ecnamor-lacimehc-ym
 what the actual fuck australia
 priscellie
 I am pretty sure all of these Australia stories are a massive, globally-spanning
 trolling effort, and only the people who have visited the country are allowed to be
 in on the joke
 seananmcguire
 Nope
 Went there
 Parrots tried to take our car
 Came home IN A FUCKING HURRY
 587,061 notes
Now thats just fowl play
        

            
            

                
                
                    America, Ass, and England: tumblr
 Follow
 priscellie
 later-homenuggets
 my friend left her window open in her bedroom and came back to find this
 look at his self-satisfied little face, the cheeky shit
 motherfucking australia
 amour-vengeance
 if there was a post to describe australia, this is it
 wait
 you mean to tell me this isn't even a pet bird?
 that in australia, you have wild birds that just fhy from house to house with the
 express purpose of fucking shit up?
 fucking
 HELL australia, what is wrong with you?
 lumoslouis
 wake up australia
 That's what birds do
 They fly around and fuck shit up
 Do you have some kind of mysterious nice birds in your weird foreign country
 Do birds in America and England fly into your house and make the bed and tidy
 up the living room a little bit
 kennilworthy-thisp
 It's cold here, so they just bounce off the windows and lie there and twitch
 spasmodically while you look for the shovel.
 happyvegetable
 Basically hurling themselves at windows is the worst thing birds do
 yeah man a kookaburra literally flew into a classroom at my high school and just
 sat his smug ass down on top of the desk for a good 20 minutes
 millshouse
 why has nobody mentioned the fact that in australia there are 3-4 months a year
 where everybody just accepts that they're going to get attacked by magpies. It is
 literally called "swooping season" and these birds will fly down to peck your
 fucking face, and people get their eyes ripped out and shit, it's fucking brutal.
 sociopathic-italian-grandmas
 My teacher had to go to hospital and have surgery because of swooping season.
 It was in the parking lot of school and all the kids would do a mad dash towards
 the car as the magpies tried to kill us.
 gallifrey-feels
 no but when you're 12 years old and riding your bike like mad on the way home
 from school with an icecream bucket on your head with like branches and shit
 sticking out if it to scare them off and none of this is considered strange
 ecnamor-lacimehc-ym
 what the actual fuck australia
 priscellie
 I am pretty sure all of these Australia stories are a massive, globally-spanning
 trolling effort, and only the people who have visited the country are allowed to be
 in on the joke
 seananmcguire
 Nope
 Went there
 Parrots tried to take our car
 Came home IN A FUCKING HURRY
 587,061 notes
Now thats just fowl play
                    
                
            

            
            
        

    

    

        
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        America, Apparently, and Ass: zornsable:
reversingyourpolarity:

elidyce:

seananmcguire:

priscellie:

ecnamor-lacimehc-ym:

gallifrey-feels:

sociopathic-italian-grandmas:

millshouse:

meganiun:

happyvegetable:

kennilworthy-thisp:

derinthemadscientist:

lumoslouis:

soloontherocks:

amour-vengeance:

later-homenuggets:

my friend left her window open in her bedroom and came back to find this
look at his self-satisfied little face, the cheeky shit
motherfucking australia

if there was a post to describe australia, this is it

wait. 
you mean to tell me this isn’t even a pet bird?
that in australia, you have wild birds that just fly from house to house with the express purpose of fucking shit up?
fucking HELL australia, what is wrong with you?

wake up australia 

That’s what birds do
They fly around and fuck shit up
Do you have some kind of mysterious nice birds in your weird foreign country
Do birds in America and England fly into your house and make the bed and tidy up the living room a little bit

It’s cold here, so they just bounce off the windows and lie there and twitch spasmodically while you look for the shovel.

Basically hurling themselves at windows is the worst thing birds do

yeah man a kookaburra literally flew into a classroom at my high school and just sat his smug ass down on top of the desk for a good 20 minutes

why has nobody mentioned the fact that in australia there are 3-4 months a year where everybody just accepts that they’re going to get attacked by magpies. It is literally called “swooping season” and these birds will fly down to peck your fucking face, and people get their eyes ripped out and shit, it’s fucking brutal.

My teacher had to go to hospital and have surgery because of swooping season. It was in the parking lot of school and all the kids would do a mad dash towards the car as the magpies tried to kill us.

no but when you’re 12 years old and riding your bike like mad on the way home from school with an icecream bucket on your head with like branches and shit sticking out if it to scare them off and none of this is considered strange

what the actual fuck australia 

I am pretty sure all of these Australia stories are a massive, globally-spanning trolling effort, and only the people who have visited the country are allowed to be in on the joke.

Nope.
Went there.
Parrots tried to take our car.
Came home IN A FUCKING HURRY.

Interesting thing about magpies - they’re not great at identifying individual humans visually, but if you make yourself identifiable in some way they’re usually open to reason. We used to have some very aggressive swoopers in our back yard - as soon as they realised that the humans *inside* the fence never bothered them and were the source of the delicious compost heap, they turned into flying black and white guard dogs who would viciously assault any passing stranger but never bothered anyone inside the yard. Several times they swooped at us when we approached from outside, then when we walked into the yard they would pull up and act incredibly apologetic like sorry ma’am I had no idea it was you I would never please don’t stop stocking the food pile.
There was another little group of magpies in the park who would attack any solo pedestrian but never bothered anyone walking a dog or pushing a pram, because apparently those were identifiable traits indicating a non-threatening human. In the spirit of inquiry, I started going out of my way to be polite to the magpies - carefully walking a wide arc around them when they were on the ground, etc - and emitting an identifiable call of ‘hello birdie’ before swooping season started. 
I spent the next ten years crossing that park at least once a day and as long as I turned at the first flutter of wings and said ‘hello birdie’ to the magpie waiting to attack as soon as my back was turned, I was fine. Every time, the magpie would stare at me for a minute and then fly off to harass some other pedestrian because apparently the magpies and I, we were cool. 
Parrots are a lot less open to negotiation, and the little bastards travel in flocks. Beware the parrots. 

Australia: the only country where it is necessary to sign a peace treaty with the birds in order to stay unmangled. 

They did lose the Emu War, after all.

        

            
            

                
                
                    America, Apparently, and Ass: zornsable:
reversingyourpolarity:

elidyce:

seananmcguire:

priscellie:

ecnamor-lacimehc-ym:

gallifrey-feels:

sociopathic-italian-grandmas:

millshouse:

meganiun:

happyvegetable:

kennilworthy-thisp:

derinthemadscientist:

lumoslouis:

soloontherocks:

amour-vengeance:

later-homenuggets:

my friend left her window open in her bedroom and came back to find this
look at his self-satisfied little face, the cheeky shit
motherfucking australia

if there was a post to describe australia, this is it

wait. 
you mean to tell me this isn’t even a pet bird?
that in australia, you have wild birds that just fly from house to house with the express purpose of fucking shit up?
fucking HELL australia, what is wrong with you?

wake up australia 

That’s what birds do
They fly around and fuck shit up
Do you have some kind of mysterious nice birds in your weird foreign country
Do birds in America and England fly into your house and make the bed and tidy up the living room a little bit

It’s cold here, so they just bounce off the windows and lie there and twitch spasmodically while you look for the shovel.

Basically hurling themselves at windows is the worst thing birds do

yeah man a kookaburra literally flew into a classroom at my high school and just sat his smug ass down on top of the desk for a good 20 minutes

why has nobody mentioned the fact that in australia there are 3-4 months a year where everybody just accepts that they’re going to get attacked by magpies. It is literally called “swooping season” and these birds will fly down to peck your fucking face, and people get their eyes ripped out and shit, it’s fucking brutal.

My teacher had to go to hospital and have surgery because of swooping season. It was in the parking lot of school and all the kids would do a mad dash towards the car as the magpies tried to kill us.

no but when you’re 12 years old and riding your bike like mad on the way home from school with an icecream bucket on your head with like branches and shit sticking out if it to scare them off and none of this is considered strange

what the actual fuck australia 

I am pretty sure all of these Australia stories are a massive, globally-spanning trolling effort, and only the people who have visited the country are allowed to be in on the joke.

Nope.
Went there.
Parrots tried to take our car.
Came home IN A FUCKING HURRY.

Interesting thing about magpies - they’re not great at identifying individual humans visually, but if you make yourself identifiable in some way they’re usually open to reason. We used to have some very aggressive swoopers in our back yard - as soon as they realised that the humans *inside* the fence never bothered them and were the source of the delicious compost heap, they turned into flying black and white guard dogs who would viciously assault any passing stranger but never bothered anyone inside the yard. Several times they swooped at us when we approached from outside, then when we walked into the yard they would pull up and act incredibly apologetic like sorry ma’am I had no idea it was you I would never please don’t stop stocking the food pile.
There was another little group of magpies in the park who would attack any solo pedestrian but never bothered anyone walking a dog or pushing a pram, because apparently those were identifiable traits indicating a non-threatening human. In the spirit of inquiry, I started going out of my way to be polite to the magpies - carefully walking a wide arc around them when they were on the ground, etc - and emitting an identifiable call of ‘hello birdie’ before swooping season started. 
I spent the next ten years crossing that park at least once a day and as long as I turned at the first flutter of wings and said ‘hello birdie’ to the magpie waiting to attack as soon as my back was turned, I was fine. Every time, the magpie would stare at me for a minute and then fly off to harass some other pedestrian because apparently the magpies and I, we were cool. 
Parrots are a lot less open to negotiation, and the little bastards travel in flocks. Beware the parrots. 

Australia: the only country where it is necessary to sign a peace treaty with the birds in order to stay unmangled. 

They did lose the Emu War, after all.

                    
                
            

            
            
        

    

    

        
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