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Computers, Money, and Police: @Michael1979 Wanted: Computer Hacker Hi, I am Michael and I am pretty sure that the bakery across the street charged me for 8 croissants yesterday even though I only bought 7. To avenge this injustice, I need someone to help me hack into the bakery's computer and transfer the cost of a croissant from their account to mine. If you are good at technology, be outside the bakery at 5.18pm with a computer and we can carry out my plan. Here is what it will involve o We will be dressed as bakers so that people don't get suspicious (I will bring a spare baker's hat just in case you don't have your own) If anyone asks us what we're doing, just say, "We own a rival bakery called Full Speed Abread and we are ju checking out the competition" I have memorised the Wikipedia page on bread so if they ask any detailed questions about bread, leave it to me If they ask any questions about bread that I can't answer, I will shout "RUN". That will be the signal that our cover has been blown and we need to get out of there If you do this job right and reimburse me for the croissant, I will see to it that you are rewarded. I will NOT pay you in money because that would leave a money trail that the police could use to track us down. However, since you are so interested in computers, I will pay you in floppy disks, like be coming your way. There are plenty more where the one below. And don't worry, that's not the only floppy disk that will that came from Michael Re: Bakery Hack Hi. Michael again from the poster above. I have just remembered that I only have one baker's hat so you will need to bring your own. Hopefully this is not a problem. If it is,I could possibly borrow the protective headgear from my uncle's beekeeper's suit and you could wear that instead? ow this is not ideal but it will have to do. Michael Wanted: Computer Hacker

Wanted: Computer Hacker

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America, Charlie, and News: Charlie Griffith Thursday at 9:28 AM So Captain America's shield, perhaps the greatest symbol he has, is made from stolen Wakandan vibrainium. I don't know of many better metaphors in the world. Like Comment Share O You, Ashante Lucombe and 713 others theamazingsallyhogan: 17mul: mighty-mouth: Colonizers gone colonize. 😂😂 @lmsig In December of 1940, America still hadn’t entered the war. There were a lot of Americans - such as the 800,000 paying members of the America First Committee - who looked at fascists massacring their way through Europe and declared “that’s not our problem.” Captain America was created by two poor Jewish Americans, Joe Simon and Jack Kirby, with the specific intent of trying to convince Americans that entering the war was the right thing to do.  It wasn’t easy - Kirby went far beyond what was expected of artists at the time, penciling the entire issue with a deadline that would have been difficult for a two-man crew to pull off.   Captain America punched Hitler right on the cover, at a time when a majority of Americans just didn’t feel like doing anything decisive against the Nazis. Kirby and Simon faced considerable resistance for their creation, including steady hate mail and outright death threats.   Once, while Jack was in the Timely office, a call came from someone in the lobby. When Kirby answered, the caller threatened Jack with bodily harm if he showed his face. Kirby told the caller he would be right down, but by the time Jack reached street level, there was no one to be found. Both creators enlisted after America entered the war.  Kirby, as an artist, was called upon to do the extremely dangerous work of scouting ahead to draw maps.  He also went on to co-create Black Panther in 1966. They didn’t create Captain America to be an accurate depiction of America-As-It-Is.  The character was meant to inspire and embolden, to show America-As-It-Should-Be. The subject of where the Vibranium for the shield came from actually never came up for decades of comics, until it was finally addressed by Black Panther’s writer, Christopher Priest, in 2001.  Priest never shied away from acknowledging America’s racism, but he also understood that Captain America represented an ideal, intended to inspire Americans to be better.  The story mixed together a “present day” discussion between Cap and T’Challa with flashbacks to when Cap met the Black Panther ruling Wakanda during World War II. FLASHBACK: PRESENT: PRESENT - FLASHBACK PRESENT: The Vibranium was given, freely, by one good man to another good man. It is right to rage against the injustices done by our governments.  We must call them out, and we must fight for what’s right. But if you can’t even stand to see the symbols created to inspire people to be better, and rail against those, then you’re just confusing cynicism for realism.
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Confused, Party, and Tumblr: newarked: confused-wombat: newarked:party goth -like mall goth but cooler My ideal gf ™ not a girl and somebody’s boyfriend.

newarked: confused-wombat: newarked:party goth -like mall goth but cooler My ideal gf ™ not a girl and somebody’s boyfriend.

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Anaconda, Bad, and Gif: Ej Dickson @ejdickson Follow GOP: abortion is bad WOMEN: ok we'll use birth control GOP: thats bad too WOMEN: GOP: I mean if yall could just like die that'd be ideal 9:57 AM-6 Oct 2017 26,389 Retweets 73,922 Likes ge uie o @ ο 444 26K 74K Steph Evz @StephEvz43 Oct 6 Replying to @ejdickson I keep posting this, but it's from the 1917 trial of Margaret Sanger, a birth control activist. Still accurate 100 years later. 'Why did you go there?" "To have her stop the babies." attorney cross-examined the same witnesses dren have you?" that didn't live."9 In the end, the judge ruled that no woman has "the right to copulate with a feeling of security that there will be no resulting conception" if a woman isn't willing to die in childbirth, she shouldn't have sex. y, February 2, the day after Byrne duled for the following Monday you are sent to the workhouse?" Sanger was found gu was pardoned "Will a re t decided.30 sentenced to thirty days. She refused ng to prison. But she didn't go on a hun From the Queens County Penitentiary Sanger wrote to Byrne, t 9 33 ti 508 796 Steph Evz @StephEvz43 Oct 6 The book is "The Secret History of Wonder Woman" if anyone is interested 10 13 101 tobeyisprochoice: informative-feminist: “If a woman isn’t willing to die in childbirth, she shouldn’t have sex.” My god. Men get pleasure and women get death. That’s what this is saying. I don’t even know how to react to this.

tobeyisprochoice: informative-feminist: “If a woman isn’t willing to die in childbirth, she shouldn’t have sex.” My god. Men get pleasure...

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May, Melanin, and You: The ideal level of suntan. You may not like it, but this is what peak melanin looks like.

The ideal level of suntan. You may not like it, but this is what peak melanin looks like.

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Anaconda, Complex, and Doge: Damn, hope that isn't true nickcasey21 20min What if every sperm you ejaculate via masturbating ends up fusing together to face one mega sperm cell, and in the afterlife you must fight it to reach your ideal heaven? Reply + 920 Points 62 Comments SHARE the_lawyer_doge What kind of drugs do you...175 i rape_sheep it sound like a the binding of...32 coffee drinker Damn, mine will be bigger... On Average a guy releases 400 million (400,000,000) sperms/ ejaculation If a man masturbates every day of his 100 year life he would masturbate roughly 311046 times by his death if he starts at 15 years... By his death he would have released 400 million x 311046 sperms 1.244184 x 1014 sperms The length of the tail of a single sperm is 50 micrometers with a diameter of 1 micrometer that tapers down to 0.5 micrometer at the end Dimensions of sperm head are 3.1 x 5.1 x 1 micrometer. Using complex calculations of volume I calculated the volume of a single sperm to be 38.7 x 104-18 m3 (of which 59.17 % is the volume of the tail) Now, the total volume of all the sperms ejaculated in a lifetime is V 1.244 x 1014 x 38.7 x 10A-18 m3 V 48.15 x 104-4 m3 Assuming that the final form of the sperms is same as a single sperm, the volume of the tail will be 59.17 % of the total.. Hence the volume of the tail of the monster sperm is 28.5 x 10A-4 m3 Or 28.5 x 1014 micrometer3 As the sperm has grown proportionally the ratio of the thickness and length of the tail will remain the same... Reverse calculating the magnitude of enlargement I found that the sperm becomes 49920 times it's original dimensions to give the monster sperm Thus the length of the monster sperm is L-49920 x 55.1 micrometers Therefore, L 2570585 micrometer Or 2.7506 metres.... Or 9 feet (in retard units) Or 3 yards (more retard units) Hans, get ze spermenwerfer! Sorry for the long calculations... Here's a Spermtato. So I saw this.I wasted an hour on this shityes I study both math and biology
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America, Black Friday, and Cards Against Humanity: Originally Posted: 2017-01-22 1:22pm print Cards Against Humanity is hiring a CEO! Cards Against Humanity, the #1 best-selling party game, is hiring a new CEO! Let's face it: we have no idea what we're doing. This year, we wasted an enormous amount of time and energy trying to get Hillary Clinton elected President, and on Black Friday we dug a huge hole in the ground because we wanted to find out if it would be funny. It's been a great run, but now it's time for real adult leadership Requirements We are seeking a highly qualified executive to run our company who meets the following requirements - Strong public speaking skills - Steady disposition, remains cool under pressure - Willing to inherit the consequences of eight years of irresponsible spending - Excellent negotiator able to deal with stubborn opposition Experience hunting terrorist masterminds Minimum eight years experience President of the United States of America or equivalent nation - Strongly prefer the first black editor of Harvard Law Review -Must currently hold a national approval rating of 57.2% or higher - Passed comprehensive healthcare reform - Natural born citizen of the United States - Proficient in Microsoft Word, Excel, and PowerPoint The ideal candidate will be excited to travel for work and be a recipient of the Nobel Peace Prize. Women and minorities are strongly encouraged to apply. What's In It for You? If you are the right candidate, we will award you 51% of our company and you can set your own salary. Benefits include: - Health/dental/vision insurance (while available) - Generous vacation time - A new computer - Pre-tax transit benefit - Access to office pantry with unlimited almonds Paid relocation to Chicago is available. Also, you can be our new Dad if you want (optional but strongly preferred) About the Company Cards Against Humanity is a game company based in Chicago, IL with about 30 employees. We run a coworking space for independent artists, a full-ride scholarship for women getting degrees in STEM fields, a political action committee, an international shipping company, a private island, and a castle in Ireland. We've also raised nearly $5 million for our nonprofit partners: the Wikimedia Foundation, the Sunlight Foundation, Electronic Frontier Foundation, and DonorsChoose.org, where Cards Against Humanity has funded over 13,000 teacher projects in high-poverty classrooms across the United States Interested? If you meet our qualifications, please email mail@cardsagainsthumanity.com post id: 5970647019 email to friendbest of 2 merrmaids: cards against humanity posted a listing to try to hire barack obama for their ceo position on craigslist im

merrmaids: cards against humanity posted a listing to try to hire barack obama for their ceo position on craigslist im

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