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Vampire?: Verizon LTE 1:12 AM @ 7058% omg-foreverfilledwithweird-posts navonneedsahug Follow zzdigital What if someone got bitten by a vampire, but didn't realize it. So then they go around and keep misidentifying all the symptoms, like "Dude, you haven't gone outside in a while." "Yeah, last time I went out I got this wicked sunburn." "Are you still up?" "Yeah, I started bing watching this show on Netflix." "Dude, I'm seriously craving something right now." "Like what?" "I dunno. Pizza rolls?" adriofthedead "Why is it that you never come into my house unless I invite you?" "Um, it's called 'being polite...?" paulichu "I tried cooking with garlic the other night and got this serious burn on my hand. I think I'm allergic, but all I'm getting on Google is vampire bullshit." samarajournal "Dude can a mirror like... stop working or something?" espeoradar Dude, why do you keep posting pictures of the floor?" "..Those are meant to be selfies, I guess my camera must be broken." "Dude, I am all for you expressing your religious beliefs, but could you not wear your crucifix when I'm around? It really bugs me for some reason." stealing-your-wife "Have you ever noticed how cute bat:s are? like really noticed? sweet lil balls of fluff with wings man." nickthepigeon "I want to sleep in a coffin...ya kno, for like... aesthetic" cipollakate "What's with your thing about necks lately?" "MUST YOU KINKSHAME ME IN MY OWN HOME" nightrhain "I looked up my symptoms on WebMD, and it says I have cancer." samwise-the-true-hero This last addition made the reblog obligatory. This one wins 935,331 notesD Tailor Automatic Screenshot Stitching Vampire?
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Lonely guy get trolled after he tried texting his ex: 000AT&T 11:11 PM 22% , iMessage Today 10:01 AM Miss talking to you :) Really sorry - new phone. Who's this? The one.. The only.. drumroll* drumroll solo* santana plays electric guitar* Adam! Today 5:05 PM I miss u too What's been on your mind/ going on in your life:) Today 8:29 PM I've just been banging a bunch of guys and living life LOL straight up. Just enjoying these free years while you can huh But I got herpes so it hasn't been that great Oh shit that is a bummer. I'd be pissed Have you gone to the doc? I went to the veterinarian they gave me some pills they give to horses You're fucking with me hahaha Did you really? Yeah my insurance wouldn't let me go to my real doc Oh damn Does it still work the same The insurance or the pills? The pills Yeah I just them In with my Oates when I eat I'm sorry, that doesn't sound like Ok give me a sec I'm going to go beat up the person that gave you herpes real quick Also those insurance peeps while I'm at it Aw thanks ur such a sweetie. We hooking up later or what? Lol you are fucking with me I'm serious. I'm at home You know I find you beautiful But it wouldn't be smart for me to be having sex with really anybody right now I'm sorry Just came to see what you were up to in life :) Adam you've chosen wisely. You've got the wrong number dawg. And even though I don't know you (nor do the 12 people huddled around this conversation) we are all very proud you didn't want to bang the chick with herpes. Enjoy your life I can't be mad at this. This is great Message Lonely guy get trolled after he tried texting his ex
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<p><a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://aseasonedplateofmurder.tumblr.com/post/40259379682/vegan-because-fuck-you-both-deserve-to-live">aseasonedplateofmurder</a>:</p> <blockquote> <div> <p><a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://vegan-because-fuck-you.tumblr.com/post/40258880258/both-deserve-to-live-the-person-who-did-that-to">vegan-because-fuck-you</a>:</p> <blockquote> <div> <p>Both deserve to live, the person who did that to them though? Not at all.</p> </div> </blockquote> <p>Ugh. Im seriously crying right now. FUCK YOU SPECIESTS!</p> </div> </blockquote> <p>Obama is serving meatat his inaugural lunch. He&rsquo;s a meat eater. A specist. So when you say &ldquo;FUCK YOU SPECIESTS&rdquo; You&rsquo;re saying fuck Obama. How dare you disrespect our president like that you racist!</p>: BOTH WANTED TO LIVE ONLY A SPECIESIST WOULD SEE A DIFFERENCE www.earthlings.com MAKETHECONNECTION <p><a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://aseasonedplateofmurder.tumblr.com/post/40259379682/vegan-because-fuck-you-both-deserve-to-live">aseasonedplateofmurder</a>:</p> <blockquote> <div> <p><a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://vegan-because-fuck-you.tumblr.com/post/40258880258/both-deserve-to-live-the-person-who-did-that-to">vegan-because-fuck-you</a>:</p> <blockquote> <div> <p>Both deserve to live, the person who did that to them though? Not at all.</p> </div> </blockquote> <p>Ugh. Im seriously crying right now. FUCK YOU SPECIESTS!</p> </div> </blockquote> <p>Obama is serving meatat his inaugural lunch. He&rsquo;s a meat eater. A specist. So when you say &ldquo;FUCK YOU SPECIESTS&rdquo; You&rsquo;re saying fuck Obama. How dare you disrespect our president like that you racist!</p>
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