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Ass, Butt, and Friends: 1. Do the sex at her really hard and fast Th8 faster and harder you do the sex, awesomer the sex is. This is the main rule of sex. 2. Make her moan and scream super loud, like SO loud that the neighbors called the cops, and the cops came and were like "Hey what's going on and the girl was like 1 was screaming because the sex was so good and also hot and the cops are like you have to go to jail because you're too good at sex!" and you're like 1 don't think that's how the law works" and the cops are like "wow this guy's good Thay will than tal everyone at the cop building how good you are at sax, which will earn your their respect 3. Make sure your penis fits right inside her vagina hole, except your penis is really big, so it doesn't fit well, but like if you push it fits eventually because the vagina hole is just a cool hole shaped for a penis. Makve sure she's put her birth control pls inside her vagina before sax though, otherwise one of your bals comes out of your penis and Ies in the vagina hole and a baby hatches out of it 4. Kiss her boobs a lot (aka the round things on her chest for all the virgins out there heh heh) The boobs are known as the Vaginas of the Chest by us sex-knowers. The nipple part is lie a reverse vagina though, because nothing can go in t. In fact, since the nipple part goes in your mouth when you kiss it, your mouth is the Vagina of the Face (a fact known to al sex-knowers 5. Lick her butt The buttchoeks are the Boobs of the Ass, except without the nipple parts 6. It's okay to leave your undershirt on It's lie the pool, where you don't want Jimmy Tuccio to make fun of your manboobs, so you leave your shirt on. it's okay, since man nipple parts do not play a role in the sex doing 7. Your can leave your shorts on too That's why your shorts have the zipper part for the penis to come out of. Also you don't want to leave behind your walet (aven though you got that cool walet chain so it's pretty securo) if the cops want to see your wallet to s00 your school ID to make sure they know who it is who's doing al the good sex 8. It's normal to practice sex by rubbing your erection against the couch your sister asks what you're doing you just say you were taking a nap and she's lie "uh huh, with your ayes apen and Friends With Benefits on TV (she has caught you doing this to Mia Kunis movias betore). 9. Sex is the most intimate act you can engage in with another person-you and your partner both leave yourselves exposed in the throes of passion. That's why it's so important to pay attention to your partner's needs and desires during the act they've allowed themselves to be at their most vulnerable with you, so you have a duty to give them real attention and respect. For a briet moment, the two of you are overtakan by raw lust-but both must appreciate that the other is someone they care about whose desres in that moment are all that matter, each is focused on pleasuring the other instead of selfishly worrying about themselves, the experience wil be far mone rewarding for both. 10. The butthole is cool but be careful While the butthole is the Vagina of the Ass, the girl might have pooped out of t right belore and that would be real gross you peed in t and the pee mixed with the poop (btw you're supposed to pee in whatever hole you stick your weiner in). 10 Sex Tips From a 13 Year Old Who Has Totally Done Sex Before