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Abc, Be Like, and Come Over: abc honeydrippingbeehives: ohhellorula: Bill Hader’s knife story is the funniest thing ever TRANSCRIPTIONBill Hader: This funny thing… As PAs we would all hang out. And there was this guy named Big–I was Little Bill on that show because there was a guy named Big Bill, he was like 6′7″–and this other guy named Jason Altieri. And one time Jason, he had this giant bowie knife, like a Rambo knife, and he was hitting a tree with it. [audience laughter] This is what we would do. [Bill laughs] This is Hollywood, guys!Jimmy Kimmel: You’re practicing editing!Bill: Yeah, he was editing! [unintelligible + laughter]Jimmy: The old-fashioned way.Bill: The old-fashioned way. This is the way they did it on Gone With The Wind, I tell ya! [audience laughter] You gotta get your editing thing together, your editing arm down. So he was cutting this thing and we were laughing, and then Bill comes over and he’s like “Hey, J, you should really stop messing with”–this is a cigarette–”you really should stop messing with the knife.” And J went [grunting noises] and he went “Hey, come on! Don’t do that.” And he walked away. Then Bucky, our prop guy, came over and he goes “Hey, I got that exact same knife but it’s retractable. It’s fake.” [inaudible + laughter] So he gets the fake one. He’s doing this…[Bill laughs] And it’s one of those things where we waited, like, an hour. [audience laughter] Like, you couldn’t go, “Hey, Bill! Come over here!” You had to be like…He has to just walk over. So we’re waiting for an hour and J is like “Guys, is he over? Ah, come on, man!” So finally, Bill comes over and goes, “Hey, are you still messing with that knife? You should stop messing with the knife, man.” And he went [grunting noise], and he went “I told you, don’t do that!” And then he just went [clunking sound effect] and stuck him right in the chest [Bill laughs] and Bill went “WHY?!” [laughter] He thought he was murdered! He legit thought he just got murdered! [Bill laughs] And we were…Oh, we were laughing so hard! [laughter] He just went “WHY?!” like that’s the thing you would say.[Bill laughs]Jimmy: Call his parents to tell his final words [Jimmy laughs]Bill: “What did Bill say?” Wait, wait til you hear what he said when he… [inaudible + laughter] He yelled “Why?” [Bill laughs]Jimmy: Oh, that’s good. Oh, boy.
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Batman, Bitch, and Click: gotham city by meg INT. WAREHOUSE NIGHT The discordant SCREECH of a wooden chair's being dragged across a concrete floor echoes through the spacious yet deserted warehouse. The tinted lights are dim, some flickering without any discernible pattern. A heavy pair of boots stomp rhythmically as an man makes his way across the room, the chair firmly in his grip. The man, a nameless HENCHMAN type, is who someone with manners would refer to as "burly" or "built." He stops underneath the brightest light in the room, setting the chair down and revealing its occupant. He is wearing a golden "RR" symbol decorating his chest. Despite the sack covering his features, one can still make out his raven hair poking out of the burlap fabric. a uniform of sorts, with black and red details plus HENCHMAN (gruff) Seems like the Batman... is losing his touch RED ROBIN's head twitches underneath the sack. RED ROBIN (muffled) Do I look like Batman to you? The henchman circles the teen like a tiger stalking its prey, if that tiger had one too many antelope dinners. He forces out a deep and planned LAUGH HENCHMAN No, no, no. Much too small, you are Red Robin shifts in his seat. Inaudible muffling can be heard from underneath the sack. HENCHMAN (CONT'D) Shhh, little bird. You must save your breath! Air will get spare quite soon. Henchman LAUGHS again, but this time his voice horribly cracks. He COUGHS quickly, but the damage was done. Red Robin shifts in his seat once more in the following uncomfortable silence. HENCHMAN (CONT'D) So tell me- 2. Henchman tries to restore the tense atmosphere by slipping an obnoxiously sized syringe full of mysterious liquid out of a package hidden in his coat pocket. HENCHMAN (CONT'D) Where is the bat? My employer just wants to... chat. Red Robin drops his head to the side, effectively communicating a "bitch, please" without the spoken word. Henchman menacingly shakes his head as he stalks toward the teen HENCHMAN (CONT'D) I had a feeling you were the dumb robin A voice suddenly cuts through the heavy air. RED HOOD (from above) Damn right! The man drops the syringe in surprise, eliciting CRASH Red Robin perks up at the dialogue, using the hand that was supposedly tied to the splintering wooden chair to lift the sack from his head. a horrid RED ROBIN (yelling) I resent that! More bickering voices start to emerge from the darkened catwalk above the factory floor. The henchman stands stunned SPOILER Hey, don't say that! sensitive. He's ROBIN Weakest Robin, maybe. Getting himself kidnapped by this oaf? Disgraceful RED ROBIN (yelling) We literally planned this! It was your idea! Red Robin starts untying the ropes around his ankles. 3. ROBIN Maybe there's a reason you're always playing kidnapped! RED ROBIN (yelling) Because you guys are jerks? NIGHTWING Hey, I volunteered to be kidnapped this time! BATGIRL Oh, honey. We all know how that would play out. A communal GROAN emits from the batkids as they reminisce on the last time Dick volunteered to play kidnapped. RED HOOD I take it back, Wing's the dumb Robin NIGHTWING OKAY, first of all, not my fault- the fire was The batkids devolve into unintelligible BICKERING. To an outside observer, it would seem as Red Robin is yelling into darkness filled with disembodied voices. Henchman SPUTTERS, unable to form coherent words. HENCHMAN H-hey! You- You can't- ALL BATKIDS (yelling) Shut up! The henchman shuts his gaping mouth with the CLICK of his teeth HENCHΜΑΝ (talking to himself) I 'm not getting out of this, am 1? A pair of white eyes cut through the darkness behind him ΒΑΤΜAΝ No outoftheframework: outoftheframework: so a little fun tidbit about me is that i write screenplays. i challenged myself to write one in fifteen minutes, unedited, and then post it. this is what happened. enjoy? so so so thankful and in awe to the response to this post. I love screenwriting and it would be my pleasure to provide you guys with more high quality work in the future, y’all make me so happy.thank you :)
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Chill, Lmao, and Phone: hrovitnir: rokirovka: theminism: raveger: enrique262: captain-price-official: marcommarco: inzertbreaks: tomroughneck: Meanwhile in Russia annyi. gente decisa The bigger vehicle has right of way. Russians cannot into chill. This is what I call a satisfying video @rokirovka blease tell me what these poor benighted motherfuckers are saying @theminism tbf speakers 1 and 2 seem like pretty reasonable people… i can’t really translate much of what the benighted motherfuckers involved are saying since they’re farther away (and swearing is hard to translate) but here goes nothing lmao just for you speaker 1: What, they can’t drive out of each other’s way? speaker 2: It looks like they can’t drive out of each other’s way. There’s not enough space. And they’re fighting. speaker 1: They should have just pulled off and let the excavator go first. speaker 2 [interrupting]: Of course. speaker 1: What the heck are they doing over there speaker 2: What the heck speaker 1: Woah woah what the heck okay wow speaker 2: What the hell [gets out of car] Hey, hey guys! What the f[this is where the beep comes in] are you doing! speaker 3: Don’t take pictures! speaker 2: I’m filming! speakers 3 and 4: [inaudible] Don’t take pictures! Put the phone away! speaker 2: Guys, calm down! [the reckoning arrives] speakers 3 and 4: [general yelling] No no no! f[beep]! Wow! Wow! [yelling continues inaudibly] speaker 2: Wow guys! [laughs] Fuck, dudes! Wow you messed up! [laughs] now that, man, is a fuck up! Motherf[beep]! Get ‘em! Oh man, thank you so much for the translation.
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9/11, College, and Community: DEO: Joey Smith Teacher: Did you really take the time to think about how that might impact [inaudible] How would it feel to be in a college class that is required for a degree, if the professor spent from 30 minutes to an hour of each class berating the students, their beliefs, or their ethnicity in front of everyone? How would it feel if you were a veteran and the professor continually baited you about your service, disagreeing and trying to make you lose it over everything you believe in? And what if you were black and just wanted to learn something in the class and the professor kept going back to tired, wornout issues as well as using the “n” word to try to force you to a make a statement about it at least 5 times over two different classes? Yes, that’s really happening in this professor’s classes. Finkelstein doesn’t like the military and treats veterans disrespectfully by baiting them. “So you’re murdering people?” has been his common baiting tactic. One of the veterans we spoke with said he had to work hard to hold himself in check. Other veterans have simply withdrawn from the class to keep from reacting. Veterans who have to drop the class are subject to repayment for it, whether it is under the Post 9-11 GI Bill or another. Most of them just want to go forward with their lives, and this professor is putting up a roadblock. We got this video from one of the Veterans who has now been invited to the White House to meet Donald Trump. - https:-news.unclesamsmisguidedchildren.com-brookdale-community-college-professor-creating-hostile-learning-environment-for-students-
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Chill, Lmao, and Phone: hrovitnir: rokirovka: theminism: raveger: enrique262: captain-price-official: marcommarco: inzertbreaks: tomroughneck: Meanwhile in Russia annyi. gente decisa The bigger vehicle has right of way. Russians cannot into chill. This is what I call a satisfying video @rokirovka blease tell me what these poor benighted motherfuckers are saying @theminism tbf speakers 1 and 2 seem like pretty reasonable people… i can’t really translate much of what the benighted motherfuckers involved are saying since they’re farther away (and swearing is hard to translate) but here goes nothing lmao just for you speaker 1: What, they can’t drive out of each other’s way? speaker 2: It looks like they can’t drive out of each other’s way. There’s not enough space. And they’re fighting. speaker 1: They should have just pulled off and let the excavator go first. speaker 2 [interrupting]: Of course. speaker 1: What the heck are they doing over there speaker 2: What the heck speaker 1: Woah woah what the heck okay wow speaker 2: What the hell [gets out of car] Hey, hey guys! What the f[this is where the beep comes in] are you doing! speaker 3: Don’t take pictures! speaker 2: I’m filming! speakers 3 and 4: [inaudible] Don’t take pictures! Put the phone away! speaker 2: Guys, calm down! [the reckoning arrives] speakers 3 and 4: [general yelling] No no no! f[beep]! Wow! Wow! [yelling continues inaudibly] speaker 2: Wow guys! [laughs] Fuck, dudes! Wow you messed up! [laughs] now that, man, is a fuck up! Motherf[beep]! Get ‘em! Oh man, thank you so much for the translation.
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Anaconda, Bad, and Birthday: RI 111 669 9:00 PM Today Do You Still have this item for sale??Dell Inspiron i7347 2-in-1 Laptop$400.00 8:24 PM I sure do 8:25 PM Alright am so glad you replied back,but first i want to know the present condition of the item and final asking price?? 8:25 PM It's been my daily use laptop for the past year or so, so the only "defect" is a small chip in the paint beside the TAB key. And, I could go down to $375 l suppose. 8:27 PM Thanks for your swift response, i want it shipped to my cousin outside of Canada as a birthday gift,i will pay you $450 and additional $100 for shipping cost, i hope that this is real and not a scam, do you have a PayPal account?? 8:28 PM I don't, no. 8:31 PM Ok, can you set up a PayPal account its free and easy to use also %100 safe and secure and best option for online shopping OK? 8:32 PM I'm not to sure, to be honest. I'm not willing to go along with the whole thing where you send me a false PayPal receipt via a temp email, claiming the funds will be unlocked once I send you a copy of the shipping receipt, and then promptly fall off the face of the earth Apologies if this is legit--But this seems waaaaay too sketchy to go along with 8:34 PM nter message Send RIマ·1111 65% . 9:05 PM Today Hello is the Dell laptop still available for sale? Sent from my Verizon 8:29 PM It is, yes 8:31 PM what is your best offer at the moment Sent from my Verizon 8:35 PM The only offer I've got was $450 from a very obvious PayPal scammer lol 8:35 PM Not sure if your/my connection was bad but that call was completely inaudible 8:40 PM i can barely here you here too Sent from my Verizon I am dissbled i only live on my ssid Sent from my Verizon i am scared of getting scammed i can not walk Sent from my Verizon 8:44 PM Can you drive down here? Sent from my Verizon 8:45 PM Your area code is from BC. I can't really drive all the way over there 8:45 PM I am willing to pay and get the laptop Sent from my Verizon 8:45 PM That would be great if you were local 8:46 PM i am in Ontario Sent from my Verizon 846 PM I can't drive either--ive had a few too many DUls 8:47 PM I will be glad if you can ship down here for me sir ,i want my laptop replaced for me ,i don't mind paying extra charge:s Sent from my Verizon 8:48 PM I've been banned from the post office. Margaret doesn't let me come around there anymore after the incident of '08 8:49 PM Kindly Sent from my Verizon Can you help me get someone to send it for me Sent from my Verizon 8:50 PM i could have my carrier pigeorn bring it over to you 8:51 PM I will transfer the cash to you and you will tell him to help me ship down to my house here in Kitchener Sent from my Verizon 8:52 PM sure thing bud Sent from my iPod Shuffle 8:53 PM 0 Sent from my Verizon what payment options are available to you? Sent from my Verizon 8:56 PM if you can mail me a 1992 Honda Civic shift knob in the mail we'll be straight 8:57 PM suck a fat dick bastard Sent from my Verizon that's not okay I'm underage 9:03 PM nter message Send 2-for-1 Kijiji Scam Special!
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Memes, Titties, and Young Thug: When you glance at your phone in class and your teacher starts throwing a bitch fit telling you to get off your phone NGCA @atlsavagee REALLY TROLL ME On god this is my chem teacher bruh let me tell y'all about this bitch. So the first time shit happens is when my mom text me when some niggas presenting asking me if I'm stayin after school or coming home normally and I don't want my mom to be here to pick me up when I was staying so I take 3 seconds of my time to type "yes" that I am staying after school. This febreeze can Winnie the poo lookin ass bitch tells me to ask a question on the niggas who was presenting and I listened to the whole god damn presentation and all the niggas who already asked questions went when I was texting my mom so fuck am I supposed to do so I just sit there and say I don't know. Then this lil no titty teenage boy lookin ass bitch says that "you shouldn't have been on that phone boy then maybe you might have had a question" BITCH I listened like a respectful ass mf and I been on my phone for 2 seconds to reply to my MOM and u have the audacity to bitch at me? Tf? But this next time is even worse my nigga. We walk in class and we doing warm ups. And let me tell you this teacher can't teach for shit. All she do is talk at 600 mph and nobody fucking understands what she's saying. So I'm doing the warm ups and that shit hard cuz idk wtf to do cuz this bitch teach her lessons like young thug rap his songs smh this bitch inaudible.so I take THIRTY MF SECONDS TO LOOK UP HOW TO DO IT AND I HAVE TO PUT IT AWAY BEFORE I EVEN FIGURE OUT HOW BECAUSE THIS BROKE ASS RONALD MCDONALD LOOKIN ASS BITCH COMES AROUND AND SAYS SHES PICKING ON NIGGAS WHO LOOK LIKE THEY SLACKIN TO ANSWER THE QUESTIONS. this bitch picks me.... NIGGA I SAT THERE STRUGGLING CUZ THIS FUCKING BITCH DONT KNOW HOW TO TEACH SO I SAY "I don't know I haven't gotten it yet" and this bitch ass pissy pussy hoe says "maybe you would have if you weren't on your phone" BITCHHHH I KNOW YOU DID NOT JUST GO THERE HOE. I WANTED TO GO CASH ME OUSSIDE ON THAT HOE SO BAD BUT IM TRYNNA GRADUATE how this bitch gonna tell me I'm slackin when I'm over there erasing harder and more frequently than Kodak got raped in prison like if you was a REMOTELY decent teacher I would have been able to do this shit but u is a pussy ass bitch smh fuck teachers
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Memes, Transformers, and Waves: TAP TO MAKE THE HEART BEAT 4biddenknowledge ॐ What is the spiritual science behind the primordial sound of OM? ॐ | The sign of OM is the sign of Hinduism. It is the first and foremost of all mantras. This mantra is the sound body of consciousness. OM is considered as the sound of cosmicenergy and contains all the sounds in itself. The spiritual efficacy of OM is heard, not by the ears but by the heart . It surcharges the innermost being of man with vibrations of the highest reality. The frequency of OM is 7.83 Hz , which in inaudible to the ear, as the human ear of a 2 strand DNA human being like you and me , cannot discern sounds of frequency less than 20 hertz.") We can hear only the harmonics. HARMONICS OF BASIC OM FREQUENCY 7.83 HZ , INNER EAR METHOD FOR BENDING SPACE TIME, Chanting OM produces a sonorous vibration like the buzz of a mighty transformer. The vibrations produce scalarwaves which calms the mind. It produces an antigravity effect on water, due to the science of cymatics , and your body is mostly water. The anuswaram ( nasal sound ) MMMM humming boosts the production of Nitric oxide in the body. This was known to Indians and documented 7000 years ago. OM opens up quantum tunneling, where the wormholes do NOT have a restriction of speed of light. The secrets of this universe are contained in energy , frequency and vibration. Chanting OM raises your vibration to a higher consciousness, and it clears the channel for intuition. From the conch OM frequency 7.83 Hz emanates. Just before the Mahabharata war, 6000 year ago, LordKrishna blew on his Panchajanya shankh, striking terror in the Kaurava camp hearts. This sound went all around the world like a soliton carrier wave , using the ionosphere as a wave guide. The sound of the conch with its inherent 7.83 hertz can be heard by the ears ( in harmonics ) and well as the human heart . If you make the sound of OM in front of a drop of liquid, it will transform itself into a SriYantra which is very specific visual form which is symmetrical and also holographic, in that every bit of it contains all of it. 4biddenknowledge
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