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America, Apparently, and Baked: how to tell when a bilingual character was not written by a bilingual person 101 "Hola ¿Qué pasa?" Lance said "Uh...what?" "Ah, sorry. It's hard to switch back sometimes. What's up?" He corrected gunvolt im going to have a stroke prideling Instead try Person A: You know... the thing Person B: The "thing"? Person A: Yeah, the thing with the little-! "mutters under their breath* Como es que se llama esa mierda... THE FISHING ROD artykyn As someone with multiple bilingual friends where English is not the first language, may I present to you a list of actual incidents l have witnessed .Forgot a word in Spanish, while speaking Spanish to me, but remembered it in English. Became weirdly quiet as they seemed to lose their entire sense of identity e Used a literal translation of a Russian idiomatic expression while speaking English. He actually does this quite regularly, because he somehow genuinely forgets which idioms belong to which language. It usually takes a minute of everyone staring at him in confused silence before he says ...Ah.... that must be a Russian one then...." . Had to count backwards for something. Could not count backwards in English. Counted backwards in French under her breath until she got to the number she needed, and then translated it into English. e Meant to inform her (French) parents that bread in America is baked with a lot of preservatives. Her brain was still halfway in English Mode so she used the word "préservatifes." Ended up shocking her parents with the knowledge that apparently, bread in America is full of condoms . Defined a slang term for me....... with another slang term. In the same language. Which I do not speak. . Was talking to both me and his mother in English when his mother had to revert to Russian to ask him a question about a word. He said "I don't know" and turned to me and asked "ls there an English equivalent for Нумизматический?" and it took him a solid minute to realize there was no way I would be able to answer that. Meanwhile his mom quietly chuckled behind his back . Said an expression in English but with Spanish grammar, which turned "How stressful!" into "What stressing! Bilingual characters are great but if you're going to use a linguistic blunder, you have to really understand what they actually blunder over. And it's usually 10x funnier than "Ooops it's hard to switch back. s drearncatcher37 Source gunvolt 287,537 notes May 16th, 2017 Bilingual
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America, Apparently, and Bad: mothman @LEVKAWA how to tell when a bilingual character was not written by a bilingual person 101 "Hola ¿Qué pasa?" Lance said. "Uh...what?" "Ah, sorry. It's hard to switch back sometimes. What's up?" He corrected kalidels: misdiagnosed-ghost: rrojasandribbons: cobaltmoony: silentwalrus1: justgot1: cricketcat9: artykyn: prideling: gunvolt: im going to have a stroke Instead try…Person A: You know… the thingPerson B: The “thing”?Person A: Yeah, the thing with the little-! *mutters under their breath* Como es que se llama esa mierda… THE FISHING ROD As someone with multiple bilingual friends where English is not the first language, may I present to you a list of actual incidents I have witnessed: Forgot a word in Spanish, while speaking Spanish to me, but remembered it in English. Became weirdly quiet as they seemed to lose their entire sense of identity.Used a literal translation of a Russian idiomatic expression while speaking English. He actually does this quite regularly, because he somehow genuinely forgets which idioms belong to which language. It usually takes a minute of everyone staring at him in confused silence before he says “….Ah….. that must be a Russian one then….”Had to count backwards for something. Could not count backwards in English. Counted backwards in French under her breath until she got to the number she needed, and then translated it into English.Meant to inform her (French) parents that bread in America is baked with a lot of preservatives. Her brain was still halfway in English Mode so she used the word “préservatifes.” Ended up shocking her parents with the knowledge that apparently, bread in America is full of condoms.Defined a slang term for me……. with another slang term. In the same language. Which I do not speak.Was talking to both me and his mother in English when his mother had to revert to Russian to ask him a question about a word. He said “I don’t know” and turned to me and asked “Is there an English equivalent for Нумизматический?” and it took him a solid minute to realize there was no way I would be able to answer that. Meanwhile his mom quietly chuckled behind his back.Said an expression in English but with Spanish grammar, which turned “How stressful!” into “What stressing!” Bilingual characters are great but if you’re going to use a linguistic blunder, you have to really understand what they actually blunder over. And it’s usually 10x funnier than “Ooops it’s hard to switch back.” I use Spanish and English daily, none is my native language. When I’m tired or did not have enough sleep I loose track of who to address in which language;  I caught myself explaining something in Spanish to my English-speaking friends more than once. When I’m REALLY tired I’ll throw some Polish words in the mix.  There is nothing more painful than bad fake Spanglish by an American writer. Bilingual people don’t just randomly drop words in nonsensical places in their sentences ffs. “I’m muy tired! I think I’ll go to my cama and go to sleep!“ Nobody does that. From my bilingual parents: - Only being able to do math in their original language. “Ok so that would beeeeee … *muttering* ocho por cuatro menos tres…” - Losing words and getting mad at you about it. “Gimme the - the - UGH, ESA COSA AHI’ CARAJO. The thing, the oven mitt. Christ.” - Making asides to you in Spanish even though you’ve told them to not do this as lots of people here speak Spanish. “Oye, mira esa, que cara fea.” “MOM FFS WE’RE IN A MEXICAN NEIGHBORHOOD.” - Swears in English don’t count. - Swears in Spanish mean you’d better fucking run, kid. - Introducing you to English-only Americans using your Spanish name so that they mispronounce your name for all eternity because that’s what your mom said your name was. “Hi Dee-yanna!” “sigh, Just call me Diana.” “Yeah but your mom said your name was Dee-yanna.”  - Your parents give you a name that only makes sense in Spanish. “Your name is Floor?” “No, my name is Flor.” “FLOOR?” “Sigh.”  - conjugating English words with Russian grammar and vice versa. Sometimes both at once, which is extra fun.  самолет -  самолетас -  самолетасы - when vice versa, dropping English articles entirely. The, a, an: all gone. e.g. “I go to store and buy thing, I fix car and go to place.” This also happens when i am very tired  - speaking English with heavy accent you don’t actually have - when my family and I are switching over fast, we say the English words in a very heavy Russian accent that mostly doesn’t show up otherwise  bonus:  - keysmashing in the wrong language when your keyboard is still switched over - using ))))) instead of :))) or other culture-specific emoji/typing quirks all of the above OMG. THIS.  -switching from Romanes to English and forgetting that articles exist because Romanes doesn’t always use them-starting to say a word in one language and trying to smoothly transition it to another language: n…oooooo, thank you is probably my most common-using English profanity when speaking Romanes-using Romanes profanity when speaking English.. that’s how you know I am angry-the over extension of the word “not” in English that comes out something like this; “I have not cash on me”.-counting in my head in Romanes always, but math always in English, which might explain my bad math skills-drunk accents.. I have a heavy accent when drunk.. and only when drunk-substituting Romani words when trying to speak in Serbian even when the other speaker is bilingual in English-aspirating English phonemes that are not meant to be aspirated -accidentally pronouncing the English “i” sounds as “ee”.. I have a dog named Snickers and everyone thinks her name is Sneakers-describing objects in detail, but forgetting the actual name of it in your target language; dzhanes, ‘odaji glazhuni.. thaj zhamija si ‘oda.. ejjjjj.. dikhes perdal oda.. ejjjj.. ekh… feljastra! Ekh feljastra! -”the thing” in both languages.. -except e buki also means “the work”, and o kasavo mean “such”, or “like this”, so in English I mean to say “the thing”, but I really say “the this, you know, this, this, this, the thingy.” But, it sounds like, “da dis, you know, dis, dis, dis, da tingy.”-subject verb agreement doesn’t exist when switching languages; ^^see above.. that was not an intentional mistake-“is mine” to mean “I have”; “Dog is mine” = “I have a dog” I could keep going.. but, yea, bilingual quirks are waaaay better and funnier when you actually understand how they work and the grammar quirks of both target languages.  I always fucking forget the word “chess”???? And I sit there saying шахматы over and over to myself until I finally remember it in English. blunders also happen when they have to note down something real quick or take lectures! my notes when I was in Italy for my exchange year are incomprehensible to basically everyone lmao it’s a huge jumble of thai, english, and italian. because sometimes it’s easier to just write down a concept in english rather than have to translate it back to your native language! also while I was there I spent a day with an american friend and when we were saying goodbye to each other this literally happened: “well have a safe trip home!! I’ll see you….. um…. dopo… dopo.. dopo.. LATER! LATER!! I’LL SEE YOU LATER”
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Apparently, Internet, and Memes: AT&T LTE VPN 11:33 AM Tweet Tru Respectful Memes 47% @krussykrabs So apparently I have a child and they've been doing naughty things on the internet ??????? Iwitter .ooo LTE VPN 10:01 AM Animal Jam HQ 9:55 AM to me GE ATTENTION! Dear Animal Jam Parent, This email is being sent in regards to your child's account (luca5724). This email is to inform you that this Animal Jam account has been temporarily suspended for 24 hours because of inappropriate behavior that violated the Animal Jam Rules Even though we have handled the situation in-game and our chat filter has kept most or all of this incident from entering the game world, this notice is being sent to the Parent Account email address we have on file as a courtesy because we believe that parents should be involved in their child's online experiences. We apologize for the vagueness of this email, but we are eager to help you understand the details and context of this issue. Feel free to contact our support team by replying to this email. Best regards, Animal Jam HQ Tweet your reply Home Explore Notifications Messages Me AT&T LTE VPN 11:34 AM Tweet Tru Respectful Memes ㄑ @krussykrabs Imma find out what they did AT&T LTE MA 10:02 AM ▼ Animal Jam HQ Re: Animal Jam Account SUSPENDED Hi! Can I ask what they did? On Fri, May 26, 2017 at 9:55 AM Animal Jam HQ -Concerned Mum@ <support@animaljam.com> wrote I GEOGRAP SMILEYS&PEOPLE Tweet your reply Home Explore Notifications Messages Me AT&T LTE VPN 11:34 AM Tweet iru Respecttul Memes ④ 47% @krussykrabs my newfound son said fuck apparently OO AT&T LTE VPN 11:31 AM Thank you for contacting Animal Jam Support Headquarters. We understand that you have some concerns regarding a suspension that was placed orn your Animal Jam account. For the incident in question, chat activity logged under the user account luca57241 include inappropriate language. Here at Animal Jam, we employ a state-of-the-art filtration system to keep all players as safe as possible. o use Please note that any action or changes made on an Animal Jam Play Wild! account will also action or change the same account on the Animal Jam website. This occurs whether the change or action is done on the Animal Jam website account or the Animal Jam Play Wild! account. ver 17-05-26 10:55:39 luca5724 f*ck Because Animal Jam cares deeply about the Tweet your reply Home Explore Notifications Messages Me theawesomeadventurer: theawesomeadventurer: theawesomeadventurer: bigblackcrocs: theawesomeadventurer: I don’t know who used my email as their parent email but this is the funniest thing that’s happened to me all week Discipline your child apparently I can change the password on the account but I’m wondering if that’s too evil 😩😂 *hacker voice* im in for those curious the new password is “dontsayfuck”  lmaooo okay now this is just getting wild tell me why this kid made a new account and STILL used my email as their parent email like what is happening my son is out of control
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Tumblr, Blog, and Http: scifiseries: Kiff, inform the men! I have made it with a woman (repost from /r/photoshopbattles)

scifiseries: Kiff, inform the men! I have made it with a woman (repost from /r/photoshopbattles)

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Tumblr, Blog, and Http: scifiseries: Kiff, inform the men! I have made it with a woman (repost from /r/photoshopbattles)

scifiseries: Kiff, inform the men! I have made it with a woman (repost from /r/photoshopbattles)

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Facebook, Ironic, and Love: shared Natural Cures's photo 37 mins Cool. Do you have sources for these claims? Like Reply 1-12 mins Well seeing as Ijust reposted it because I founded ironic and THEY TOLD US BUT ACTUALLY interesting and didn't quite care for the validity of a Facebook post I must regretfully inform you that I failed to do any research on a Like Reply 10 mins THE SUN WILL GIVE YOU CANCER THE SUN PROTECTS YOU FROM CANCER It's probably not true Like Reply 9 mins Like Reply-21 mins Like Reply 20 mins Like Reply-20 mins SUNSCREEN PROTECTS YOU FROM CANCER SUNSCREEN CONTAINS CHEMICALS THAT GIVE YOU CANCER Sorry, didn't realize you were posting ironically. mean I would love to know if any of twas true DIET PRODUCTS ARE MORE HEALTHY DIET PRODUCTS CONTAIN ASPARTAME WHICH CAUSES BRAIN CANCER It honestly didn't even cross my mind r maybe it is don't know. I don't use sunscreen or diet products MAMMOGRAMS EXPOSE YOU TO IONIZING RADIATION WHICH GIVES YOU CANCER ANNUAL MAMMOGRAM SCANS WILL PREVENT BREAST CANCER as is, hopefully don't have to have a monogram, but I do brush my terth Like Reply 8 mins gasp* You haven't had a monogram? How do you know which handkerchief is yours? Like Reply 6 mins FLUORIDE WILL PROTECT YOUR TEETH FLOURIDE IS A CHEMICAL WHICH PROMOTES CANCER AND FLUOROSIS Yea idk I'm just a messSe Unlike Reply 1- 5 mins Hey sometimes I forget to brush my teeth Like Reply 5 mins memehumor: A friend offers some insight as to why they post.

memehumor: A friend offers some insight as to why they post.

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Chicago, Chief Keef, and College: HARVARD COLLEGE Office of Admissions and Financial Aid T3 Chicago, Il 60614 Dear Thank you for your interest in Harvard College After careful consideration of your application, I am sorry to inform you that we are unable to offer you a place in the class of 2019. This year's application pool was the strongest in the College's history, and we are unable to offer admission to every student, regardless of their proficiency in "dank memes", or their level of "Swagg moneyyyy." Although your GPA and ACT scores were certainly up to our standards, your essays raised some eyebrows at the admissions meetings. For future reference, it is not wise to start an essay with the words, "listen here u little slanks" and end without *drops mic We also didn't need a copy of your mixtape, regardless of how "fire" it is (one admissions counselor actually listened to it, and we are pretty sure 40 minutes of you making animal noises is not "fire"). In addition, we will be returning your copy of Grownups 2 signed by Chancellor Angela Merkel, because you said it's your "greatest possession" and we don't want it. We also suggest obtaining recommendation letters from teachers or trusted mentors, not "my #4 side ho Derek', or Chief Keef who submitted a picture of a dinosaur drawn in crayon on a rolling paper. We greatly appreciate your interest in Harvard, and we offer our best wishes of success as you pursue your educational goals. Sincerely. Dean of Admissions and Financial Aid
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