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    Bluetooth, Bored, and Cars: . Verizon LTE
 12:09 PM
 a houston.craigslist.org
 image 1 of 23
 TEXAS
 BNL-2934
 You want a car that gets the job done? You want a car that's
 hassle free? You want a car that literally no one will ever
 compliment you on? Well look no further.

 The 1999 Toyota Corolla
 Let's talk about features
 Bluetooth: nope
 Sunroof: nope
 Fancy wheels: nope
 Rear view camera: nope...but it's got a transparent rear
 window and you have a fucking neck that can turn
 Let me tell you a story. One day my Corolla started making a
 strange sound. I didn't give a shit and ignored it. It went
 away. The End
 You could take the engine out of this car, drop it off the
 Golden Gate Bridge, fish it out of the water a thousand years
 later, put it in the trunk of the car, fill the gas tank up with
 Nutella, turn the key, and this puppy would fucking start right
 This car will outlive you, it will outlive your children
 Things this car is old enough to do:
 Vote: yes
 Consent to sex: ves
 Rent a car: it IS a car
 This car's got history. It's seen some shit. People have done
 straight things in this car. People have done gay things ın this
 car. It's not going to judge you like a fucking Volkswagen
 would

 Interesting facts
 This car's exterior color is gray, but it's interior color is grey
 In the owner's manual, oil is listed as "optional."
 When this car was unveiled at the 1998 Detroit Auto Show, it
 caused all 2,000 attendees to spontaneously yawn. The
 resulting abrupt change in air pressure inside the building
 caused a partial collapse of the roof. Four people died. The
 event is chronicled in the documentary "Bored to Death: The
 Story of the 1999 Tovota Corolla"
 You wanna know more? Great, I had my car fill out a
 Facebook survey.
 Favorite food: spaghetti
 Favorite tv show: Alf
 Favorite band: tie between Bush and the Gin Blossoms
 This car is as practical as a Roth IRA. It's as middle-of-the-
 road as your grandpa during his last Silver Alert. It's as
 utilitarian as a member of a church whose scripture is based
 entirely on water bills
 When I ran the CarFax for this car, I got back a single piece
 of paper that said, "It's a Corolla. It's fine."
 Let's face the facts, this car isn't going to win any beauty
 contests, but neither are you. Stop lying to yourself and stop
 lying to your wife. This isn't the car you want, it's the car you
 deserve: The fucking 1999 Toyota Corolla.
 Whit
 Bayou
 BWa
catchymemes:

This man knows how to sell a car


    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                
                    Bluetooth, Bored, and Cars: . Verizon LTE
 12:09 PM
 a houston.craigslist.org
 image 1 of 23
 TEXAS
 BNL-2934
 You want a car that gets the job done? You want a car that's
 hassle free? You want a car that literally no one will ever
 compliment you on? Well look no further.

 The 1999 Toyota Corolla
 Let's talk about features
 Bluetooth: nope
 Sunroof: nope
 Fancy wheels: nope
 Rear view camera: nope...but it's got a transparent rear
 window and you have a fucking neck that can turn
 Let me tell you a story. One day my Corolla started making a
 strange sound. I didn't give a shit and ignored it. It went
 away. The End
 You could take the engine out of this car, drop it off the
 Golden Gate Bridge, fish it out of the water a thousand years
 later, put it in the trunk of the car, fill the gas tank up with
 Nutella, turn the key, and this puppy would fucking start right
 This car will outlive you, it will outlive your children
 Things this car is old enough to do:
 Vote: yes
 Consent to sex: ves
 Rent a car: it IS a car
 This car's got history. It's seen some shit. People have done
 straight things in this car. People have done gay things ın this
 car. It's not going to judge you like a fucking Volkswagen
 would

 Interesting facts
 This car's exterior color is gray, but it's interior color is grey
 In the owner's manual, oil is listed as "optional."
 When this car was unveiled at the 1998 Detroit Auto Show, it
 caused all 2,000 attendees to spontaneously yawn. The
 resulting abrupt change in air pressure inside the building
 caused a partial collapse of the roof. Four people died. The
 event is chronicled in the documentary "Bored to Death: The
 Story of the 1999 Tovota Corolla"
 You wanna know more? Great, I had my car fill out a
 Facebook survey.
 Favorite food: spaghetti
 Favorite tv show: Alf
 Favorite band: tie between Bush and the Gin Blossoms
 This car is as practical as a Roth IRA. It's as middle-of-the-
 road as your grandpa during his last Silver Alert. It's as
 utilitarian as a member of a church whose scripture is based
 entirely on water bills
 When I ran the CarFax for this car, I got back a single piece
 of paper that said, "It's a Corolla. It's fine."
 Let's face the facts, this car isn't going to win any beauty
 contests, but neither are you. Stop lying to yourself and stop
 lying to your wife. This isn't the car you want, it's the car you
 deserve: The fucking 1999 Toyota Corolla.
 Whit
 Bayou
 BWa
catchymemes:

This man knows how to sell a car


                    
                
            

            
            
catchymemes:

This man knows how to sell a car



            
            
        

    



            

        

        
        
        
        

            

                



            

        

        
        
        
        

            

                



            

        

        
        
        
        

            

                




    Books, Cookies, and Creepy: r/Ask
 Those who have weird neighbors, wh
 does your neighbor do that is weird or
 creepy?
 Discussion
 4 19.6k
 8.6k
 Share
 BEST COMMENTS
 14h
 So I had a neighbor (80yo or more) widowed guy.
 Every time I get the newspaper delivered to my
 mail box, when I open it I find the crosswords
 done (I don't do them or give a damn)
 A day I decided to try catch who's doing my
 crosswords, day 1:8 am, they where already done
 Day 2:7:30 am already done. Day 3 7am I decide
 to give up.
 One day, 4am, I was getting back home from a
 night out, while I was passing by the mailbox;
 nothing yet delivered, so I place my GoPro inside
 and went sleeping, the next day: FINALLY GOTIT
 it was my neighbor, he has done the crosswords
 right up on my mailbox, for like 10min (I will try to
 find the video, but it was absolutely cute, staring
 at my door time to time, and scratching his head).
 Next day: I took him a 1000 crosswords book, drop
 it right his door, rang the bell and stayed on my car
 discretely. He took some time to open the door,
 then found it, I swear it was the happiest person
 like a kid that got a puppy. He stayed in his porch
 and passed like 2 hours doing crosswords then felt
 asleep lol.
 The next day: i was getting back home from work,
 he came to apologize (like a kid that has to confess
 something) and brought some cookies. We stayed
 talking about his WW2 service and how the world
 changed.
 I frequently bought him crosswords books, until he
 passed away 1 year ago
 May he Rest In Peace
Secret crossword solver (x-post from me_irl) via /r/wholesomememes https://ift.tt/2NV6wt5
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                
                    Books, Cookies, and Creepy: r/Ask
 Those who have weird neighbors, wh
 does your neighbor do that is weird or
 creepy?
 Discussion
 4 19.6k
 8.6k
 Share
 BEST COMMENTS
 14h
 So I had a neighbor (80yo or more) widowed guy.
 Every time I get the newspaper delivered to my
 mail box, when I open it I find the crosswords
 done (I don't do them or give a damn)
 A day I decided to try catch who's doing my
 crosswords, day 1:8 am, they where already done
 Day 2:7:30 am already done. Day 3 7am I decide
 to give up.
 One day, 4am, I was getting back home from a
 night out, while I was passing by the mailbox;
 nothing yet delivered, so I place my GoPro inside
 and went sleeping, the next day: FINALLY GOTIT
 it was my neighbor, he has done the crosswords
 right up on my mailbox, for like 10min (I will try to
 find the video, but it was absolutely cute, staring
 at my door time to time, and scratching his head).
 Next day: I took him a 1000 crosswords book, drop
 it right his door, rang the bell and stayed on my car
 discretely. He took some time to open the door,
 then found it, I swear it was the happiest person
 like a kid that got a puppy. He stayed in his porch
 and passed like 2 hours doing crosswords then felt
 asleep lol.
 The next day: i was getting back home from work,
 he came to apologize (like a kid that has to confess
 something) and brought some cookies. We stayed
 talking about his WW2 service and how the world
 changed.
 I frequently bought him crosswords books, until he
 passed away 1 year ago
 May he Rest In Peace
Secret crossword solver (x-post from me_irl) via /r/wholesomememes https://ift.tt/2NV6wt5
                    
                
            

            
            
Secret crossword solver (x-post from me_irl) via /r/wholesomememes https://ift.tt/2NV6wt5

            
            
        

    



            

        

        
        
        
        

            

                




    Bad, Chelsea, and Homeless: The Telegraph
 @Telegraph
 Follow
 Former rough sleeper Ed Sheeran wins
 permission for "anti-homeless" gates outside
 £8m London home
 Former rough sleeper Ed Sheeran wins permission for "anti-homeless" gates..
 Pop superstar Ed Sheeran, who spent nights sleeping rough on the streets of
 London early in his career, has won planning permission to install "anti-homeless" r...
 telegraph.co.uk
feminismisahatemovement:

holybucketbatman:

fuck-ler:

capatalismnt:
Please don’t pay for his music.

also don’t listen to it, it’s extremely bad

He’s wanting to do this to his home: 
He submitted the proposal to the Kensington and Chelsea Borough Council and the plan was rejected because the proposed four-foot-high railings (fence) and simple cast iron gate (which was chosen purely privacy and security for the front of the home) were considered “too domestic” looking for the former industrial area. The council gave Sheeran a list of options for privacy “railings”, and after changing the proposal Sheeran was given permission that was more in line with the neighbourhood, which is in a conservation area.  A direct quote from Sheeran states: “Dear Natalie Edwards from The Sun newspaper. Your story is bollocks, I have done lots of work in the past for Crisis and Shelter and would never build railings outside my home for that reason.The reason was to keep the paps that you employ from being on my doorstep. Have a good day.” this comment has been substantiated by the local police and security companies that Sheeran and his neighbours have had to contact previously when paparazzi have been taking photographs not only of Sheeran’s house but inside his windows, and constantly knocking on his door and yelling outside his house. Think about this for a moment, a guy bought a house and fixed it up, he was trying to gain some privacy by asking for a simple fence and gate to indicate the property line and gain some distance from the paps, - which the police and council said was fine - and the newspapers who can no longer use these ill-gotten photos and are probably pissed have managed to spin this story to make it seem that this guy (whether you like his music or not), is an asshole and is anti-homeless. And you’re all eating this shit up and believing the newspapers, even though the Sun and Telegraph are well known across the UK for making shit up and lying. smh. 

These days you have to fact-check 97% of newspaper articles as much as reddit trolls.
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                
                    Bad, Chelsea, and Homeless: The Telegraph
 @Telegraph
 Follow
 Former rough sleeper Ed Sheeran wins
 permission for "anti-homeless" gates outside
 £8m London home
 Former rough sleeper Ed Sheeran wins permission for "anti-homeless" gates..
 Pop superstar Ed Sheeran, who spent nights sleeping rough on the streets of
 London early in his career, has won planning permission to install "anti-homeless" r...
 telegraph.co.uk
feminismisahatemovement:

holybucketbatman:

fuck-ler:

capatalismnt:
Please don’t pay for his music.

also don’t listen to it, it’s extremely bad

He’s wanting to do this to his home: 
He submitted the proposal to the Kensington and Chelsea Borough Council and the plan was rejected because the proposed four-foot-high railings (fence) and simple cast iron gate (which was chosen purely privacy and security for the front of the home) were considered “too domestic” looking for the former industrial area. The council gave Sheeran a list of options for privacy “railings”, and after changing the proposal Sheeran was given permission that was more in line with the neighbourhood, which is in a conservation area.  A direct quote from Sheeran states: “Dear Natalie Edwards from The Sun newspaper. Your story is bollocks, I have done lots of work in the past for Crisis and Shelter and would never build railings outside my home for that reason.The reason was to keep the paps that you employ from being on my doorstep. Have a good day.” this comment has been substantiated by the local police and security companies that Sheeran and his neighbours have had to contact previously when paparazzi have been taking photographs not only of Sheeran’s house but inside his windows, and constantly knocking on his door and yelling outside his house. Think about this for a moment, a guy bought a house and fixed it up, he was trying to gain some privacy by asking for a simple fence and gate to indicate the property line and gain some distance from the paps, - which the police and council said was fine - and the newspapers who can no longer use these ill-gotten photos and are probably pissed have managed to spin this story to make it seem that this guy (whether you like his music or not), is an asshole and is anti-homeless. And you’re all eating this shit up and believing the newspapers, even though the Sun and Telegraph are well known across the UK for making shit up and lying. smh. 

These days you have to fact-check 97% of newspaper articles as much as reddit trolls.
                    
                
            

            
            
feminismisahatemovement:

holybucketbatman:

fuck-ler:

capatalismnt:
Please don’t pay for his music.

also don’t listen to it, it’s extreme...

            
            
        

    



            

        

        
        
        
        

            

                



            

        

        
        
        
        

            

                



            

        

        
        
        
        

            

                



            

        

        
        
        
        

            

                



            

        

        
        
        
        

            

                



            

        

        
        
        
        

            

                




    Gif, Lol, and Love: thisbibliomaniac:
caitallolovesyou:

bigboomer101:

totallynotzelda:

skeleton-zone-192000:

officialfist:

newkidsonmycock31:

assbaka:

scottbaiowulf:


punchsportsandpunchlines:

jovan:

babydreamgirl:

zodiacbaby:

uvsunglassesfordogs:

did you know that before they decided on a cgi baby for the twilight movie they had planned to use this ANIMATRONIC baby
feel like this also begs the question: why did the people who were in charge of this consider two alternatives for this character instead of just, like, a real human baby. i can’t imagine you couldn’t just nab some newborn off a crew member or friend

…

I want to die!!!!

this is the funniest post I’ve seen on tumblr in forever


I have never seen these movies in their entirety and was unaware there was a cgi baby in it so I am posting this gif of a scene I discovered was genuinely used in the movie twilight unironically

Is that when the werewolf falls in love with the baby
Because that was a thing, the werewolf falls in love with the baby


“Oh I wasn’t in love with YOU! I was in love with the baby inside of you all along.” Because that’s a regular thing to write, STEPHANIE. MEYER. 

can you blame him i mean that is one hot baby


SO THATS WHERE IT COMES FROM IVE BEEN USING 
FOR YEARS I NEVER KNEW IT WAS FROM TWILIGHT HAHAHAHAHAHA

what the fuck

reason why they didn’t use a real baby: who would trust vampires and werewolves with their child?


They say that the crew who made her had lost the animatronic and that she is still out there. Aparently some of the crew members are afraid to find her again

This was a weird and wild ride from start to finish.
I, for one, hope that animatronic is in Hell where it belongs. lol


@dangerously-human @jayykesley 

    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                
                    Gif, Lol, and Love: thisbibliomaniac:
caitallolovesyou:

bigboomer101:

totallynotzelda:

skeleton-zone-192000:

officialfist:

newkidsonmycock31:

assbaka:

scottbaiowulf:


punchsportsandpunchlines:

jovan:

babydreamgirl:

zodiacbaby:

uvsunglassesfordogs:

did you know that before they decided on a cgi baby for the twilight movie they had planned to use this ANIMATRONIC baby
feel like this also begs the question: why did the people who were in charge of this consider two alternatives for this character instead of just, like, a real human baby. i can’t imagine you couldn’t just nab some newborn off a crew member or friend

…

I want to die!!!!

this is the funniest post I’ve seen on tumblr in forever


I have never seen these movies in their entirety and was unaware there was a cgi baby in it so I am posting this gif of a scene I discovered was genuinely used in the movie twilight unironically

Is that when the werewolf falls in love with the baby
Because that was a thing, the werewolf falls in love with the baby


“Oh I wasn’t in love with YOU! I was in love with the baby inside of you all along.” Because that’s a regular thing to write, STEPHANIE. MEYER. 

can you blame him i mean that is one hot baby


SO THATS WHERE IT COMES FROM IVE BEEN USING 
FOR YEARS I NEVER KNEW IT WAS FROM TWILIGHT HAHAHAHAHAHA

what the fuck

reason why they didn’t use a real baby: who would trust vampires and werewolves with their child?


They say that the crew who made her had lost the animatronic and that she is still out there. Aparently some of the crew members are afraid to find her again

This was a weird and wild ride from start to finish.
I, for one, hope that animatronic is in Hell where it belongs. lol


@dangerously-human @jayykesley 

                    
                
            

            
            
thisbibliomaniac:
caitallolovesyou:

bigboomer101:

totallynotzelda:

skeleton-zone-192000:

officialfist:

newkidsonmycock31:

assbaka:

sc...