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        i-should-be-writing-rn:

inlovewithaleheather:

thecuckoohaslanded:


gerbthenerd:

alexander-lamington:


thelizardprincess:


biglawbear:


blacksirencry:

swaglexander-the-great:


#That’s a#That’s a blue ringed octopus#You’re going to die do you realise that#It is literally one of the most deadly animals in the world#Not just in Australia or just in the ocean in THE WORLD#Put it DOWN#And go to a hospital jfcΒ via platonic-rabbitΒ 
me tryna find out if this fool died


β€œThe blue-ringed octopus, despite its small size, carries enough venom to kill twenty-six adult humans within minutes. Their bites are tiny and often painless, with many victims not realizing they have been envenomated until respiratory depression and paralysis start to set in.[8] No blue-ringed octopus antivenom is available yet, making it one of the deadliest reef inhabitants in the ocean.”
Holy shit


And this is why I don’t go in the ocean anymore


Also the blue rings literally only show up when it is distressed so this person has angered it!!! You are in danger friend!!!


Actually this guy keeps them as pets they’re on his instagram (william_exotique) and he frequently holds then and I just? Don’t know why? And also every picture or video he posts of them shows the blue rings so they’re always in distress I just do not understand why he’s doing this



#AMY EXPLAIN HOW DUMB THIS GUY ISΒ 
I mean OP pretty much covered it. Β A blue ringed octopus is almost on the level of CONE SNAIL on the list of things you ABSOLUTELY DO NOT PICK UP UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES.
But ask and you shall receive, Β On this episode ofΒ β€œFun Facts With Cuckoo,” DEAD. Β YOU’RE DEAD. Β EVERYTHING IS DEAD AND YOU SHOULD NEVER TOUCH ANYTHING IN THE OCEAN EVER AGAIN.
There are many things that will kill you.

[citation needed]
There are fewer, but still many things that will kill you FAST.
There are yet fewer things that kill you fast and by such an overwhelming margin of overkill that nervous laughter is our only solace in the dark of this terrible, surprisingly Lovecraftian world of unearthly horrors that we live in.
Of the things that I know about which will kill you fast via just plain insultingly potent venom, which is a not insignificant number of things because I know a not insignificant number of things, there are about 3 things in the ocean – IN THE WHOLEΒ OCEAN – which are so insanely, mind-bogglingly deadly that there is pretty much no possible hope for survival (I mean you CAN, but god help you if you’re ever in that situation, because god’s just about damn near the only thing that CAN help you). Β THE. WHOLE. OCEAN.
Those three things are the Irukandji (a tiny (1cm) species of box jellyfish, which has stingers not only on its tentacles but on its BELL, for reasons no one has definitively figured out, and is so toxic despite its size its sting can cause a severe brain hemorrhage), the cone snail (a group of carnivorous sea snails that is accepted to be the most venomous animals on earth, with a STUPIDLY fast acting and extremely powerful neurotoxin that has in at least one case killed a human ALMOST INSTANTANEOUSLY, because the swimmer who found two beautiful shells (unfortunately cone snails tend to have very pretty shells which makes people want to pick them up) was holding them up for a picture and ended up being stabbed in the neck by not one but TWO cone snails at the same time, and it is believed that she was literally dead before she hit the ground, I mean LITERALLY in a 100% non-fictional and non-exaggerated way, in between the time the two cone snails stabbed her and the time her limp body hit the sand, she was not alive anymore), and the blue ringed octopus.
It is POSSIBLE to survive any of these. Β But not without immediate medical attention. Β Of these three, the Irukandji is by far the most treatable, because Australia and other coastal regions (including Florida and other parts of the US) are kind of experienced in dealing with box jellyfish.
The blue ringed octopus will fucking kill you. Β There’s no antidote for their venom, ONE COMPONENT OF WHICH (tetrodotoxin) is 1200 times deadlier than cyanide. Β It’s a powerful neurotoxin (most of the worst venoms are because the species that produce them need to kill or at least paralyze their prey quickly, like jellyfish whose fragile tentacles could be damaged if their food doesn’t stop struggling) that attacks the sodium channels and causes muscle paralysis. Β It doesn’t necessarily kill you quickly. Β It PARALYZES you quickly, so that you can’t really call for help or describe the problem, and you will probably end up slowly suffocating from a paralyzed diaphragm. Β Tetrodotoxin can be metabolized by the body in a matter of hours, but it can also kill you in a matter of minutes if you get a lethal dose (which isn’t much, the 

LD50

 or median lethal dose, the dose at which you have a 50% chance of survival, is only 8 MICROGRAMS per kilogram of body weight (as tested in mice)). Β This is, by venom standards, not a large amount, which means the animal that is capable of putting this venom inside your body is very very good at killing the absolute shit out of you.
DON’T TOUCH THE BLUE RINGED OCTOPUS.
Now, because overkill is my motto, let me briefly explain why Conus geographus is the undisputed champion of YOU WILL NOT SURVIVE, AND FURTHERMORE FUCK YOU FOR THINKING OTHERWISE.
A cone snail walks into a bar. Β You’d expect the bartender to ask,Β β€œwhat’s your poison,” but they were paralyzed before they could ask and OH LOOK they’re already FUCKING DEAD ON THE GROUND.
Conus geographus is about 4-6 inches long and nature’s equivalent of Avada Kedavra. Β Cone snails literally have their own KIND of toxins named after them: conotoxin. Β Not only is there no antidote, but their venom AGGRESSIVELY RESISTS our ability to find a cure, because we barely understand how it works AND conotoxins are so internally varied, even within a single species, that any one antidote isn’t going to help because they’re constantly mutating and evolving their venom to prevent their prey from evolving a resistance to it. Β Plus their venom is like, a bunch of different venoms all at once JUST IN CASE any one of them wasn’t good enough.
I want you to read these two sentences from the wiki page on conotoxin:
β€œConotoxins have a variety of mechanisms of actions, most of which have not been determined.”


β€œThe LD50 of conotoxin is 50 ng/kg.”
Remember how the 

LD50Β of tetrodotoxin is 8ΞΌg/kg? Β Conotoxin is 160 times more potent. Β FIFTY NANOGRAMS PER KILOGRAM HAS A 50% CHANCE OF KILLING YOU. A 220-POUND HUMAN HAS A 50% CHANCE OF SURVIVAL AGAINST JUST 5 MICROGRAMS OF CONOTOXIN. Β 
I DID SOME MATH. Β 
IT WOULD TAKE 7-9 MILLIGRAMS OF CONOTOXIN TO KILL A BLUE WHALE, THE HEAVIEST ANIMAL TO EVER LIVE. (based on weight estimates from 300-400,000 lbs.)
Conus geographus is so fucking deadly thatΒ β€œIn two cases of envenomation, only 0.0002-0.0005 mg resulted in severe paralysis.”
THIS THING KILLS STUFF SO HARD THAT BEFORE YOU HEAR THE FIRSTΒ β€œMORTAL KOMBAT” IN THE MORTAL KOMBAT THEME, THERE’S PROBABLY ALREADY BEEN A FATALITY.
And guess what? Β Cone snails don’t do that NOOB SHIT with the superficial biting or stinging. Β Your wetsuit or gloves won’t protect you. Β Because homeboy didn’t bring teeth to evolution’s knife fight. Β Oh no. Β It brought a motherfucking radula POISON HARPOON. Β It’s lightning fast and has way more piercing power than some silly little cnidocytes or salivary bacteria.
Another component of their venom is being researched for its potential as a pain reliever. Β β€œWHY WOULD YOU DO THAT????” you might reasonably ask. Β And you would be right to do so, because science has gone too far and has surely sinned against the very image of Mollusca Kedavra. Β Well, it turns out the answer isΒ β€œResearch shows that certain component proteins of the venom target specific human pain receptors and can be up to 10,000 times more potent than morphine without morphine’s addictive properties and side-effects.” Β That’s right, the part of their venom that SPECIFICALLY DOESN’T HURT YOU is up to 10,000 times more potent than morphine.
Also, Conus geographus (along with one other cone snail species, C. tulipa) is the only known non-human animal to weaponize insulin. Β In addition to the normal insulin that the snails produce for their own use, their bodies manufacture an ADDITIONAL insulin molecule that is similar to the kind produced in fish (which they eat) for the sole purpose of stunning their prey through hypoglycemic shock. Β BECAUSE APPARENTLY THEY DON’T FEEL LIKE THEY’D KILL YOU HARD ENOUGH OTHERWISE.
IF you are going to survive the ALMIGHTY CONE SNAIL, WHO KNOWS NO FEAR, TRIUMPHANT HEDGEMON OF THE MOLECULAR ARMS RACE, TRUE BORN HEIR TO THE SCYTHE OF DEATH ITSELF, FISHSLAYER, GOD AMONG MOLLUSKS, WHOSE WRATH IS MERCIFUL ONLY IN ITS BREVITY, ADMIRABLE IN ITS BEAUTY AND UNSULLIED BY THE UNWORTHY TOUCH OF MORTAL HANDS OR SCALES OR REALLY ANYTHING IN RANGE OF ITS RADULA HARPOON, then literally the only thing that’s going to save you is for you to be kept alive artificially (externalizing your respiratory functions to force your body to continue breathing, basically) until the effects of the venom wear off. Β And because of how quickly this venom acts, you need to get that medical attention VERY, VERY FAST.
And if you don’t get it, you will still be conscious while the paralysis slowly suffocates you to death.
Don’t touch the pretty shells.


I’ve never been so intrigued to learn how easily I could be fucking exterminated from existence by the overpowered sea creatures of the world. You’ve done a better job at keeping my attention then any of my teachers ever have.


You know what I’m putting this on the writing blog cause I personally can see potential in some fantasy villain attempting to weaponise cone snailsIn which case, all hail snail king 🐌 : i-should-be-writing-rn:

inlovewithaleheather:

thecuckoohaslanded:


gerbthenerd:

alexander-lamington:


thelizardprincess:


biglawbear:


blacksirencry:

swaglexander-the-great:


#That’s a#That’s a blue ringed octopus#You’re going to die do you realise that#It is literally one of the most deadly animals in the world#Not just in Australia or just in the ocean in THE WORLD#Put it DOWN#And go to a hospital jfcΒ via platonic-rabbitΒ 
me tryna find out if this fool died


β€œThe blue-ringed octopus, despite its small size, carries enough venom to kill twenty-six adult humans within minutes. Their bites are tiny and often painless, with many victims not realizing they have been envenomated until respiratory depression and paralysis start to set in.[8] No blue-ringed octopus antivenom is available yet, making it one of the deadliest reef inhabitants in the ocean.”
Holy shit


And this is why I don’t go in the ocean anymore


Also the blue rings literally only show up when it is distressed so this person has angered it!!! You are in danger friend!!!


Actually this guy keeps them as pets they’re on his instagram (william_exotique) and he frequently holds then and I just? Don’t know why? And also every picture or video he posts of them shows the blue rings so they’re always in distress I just do not understand why he’s doing this



#AMY EXPLAIN HOW DUMB THIS GUY ISΒ 
I mean OP pretty much covered it. Β A blue ringed octopus is almost on the level of CONE SNAIL on the list of things you ABSOLUTELY DO NOT PICK UP UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES.
But ask and you shall receive, Β On this episode ofΒ β€œFun Facts With Cuckoo,” DEAD. Β YOU’RE DEAD. Β EVERYTHING IS DEAD AND YOU SHOULD NEVER TOUCH ANYTHING IN THE OCEAN EVER AGAIN.
There are many things that will kill you.

[citation needed]
There are fewer, but still many things that will kill you FAST.
There are yet fewer things that kill you fast and by such an overwhelming margin of overkill that nervous laughter is our only solace in the dark of this terrible, surprisingly Lovecraftian world of unearthly horrors that we live in.
Of the things that I know about which will kill you fast via just plain insultingly potent venom, which is a not insignificant number of things because I know a not insignificant number of things, there are about 3 things in the ocean – IN THE WHOLEΒ OCEAN – which are so insanely, mind-bogglingly deadly that there is pretty much no possible hope for survival (I mean you CAN, but god help you if you’re ever in that situation, because god’s just about damn near the only thing that CAN help you). Β THE. WHOLE. OCEAN.
Those three things are the Irukandji (a tiny (1cm) species of box jellyfish, which has stingers not only on its tentacles but on its BELL, for reasons no one has definitively figured out, and is so toxic despite its size its sting can cause a severe brain hemorrhage), the cone snail (a group of carnivorous sea snails that is accepted to be the most venomous animals on earth, with a STUPIDLY fast acting and extremely powerful neurotoxin that has in at least one case killed a human ALMOST INSTANTANEOUSLY, because the swimmer who found two beautiful shells (unfortunately cone snails tend to have very pretty shells which makes people want to pick them up) was holding them up for a picture and ended up being stabbed in the neck by not one but TWO cone snails at the same time, and it is believed that she was literally dead before she hit the ground, I mean LITERALLY in a 100% non-fictional and non-exaggerated way, in between the time the two cone snails stabbed her and the time her limp body hit the sand, she was not alive anymore), and the blue ringed octopus.
It is POSSIBLE to survive any of these. Β But not without immediate medical attention. Β Of these three, the Irukandji is by far the most treatable, because Australia and other coastal regions (including Florida and other parts of the US) are kind of experienced in dealing with box jellyfish.
The blue ringed octopus will fucking kill you. Β There’s no antidote for their venom, ONE COMPONENT OF WHICH (tetrodotoxin) is 1200 times deadlier than cyanide. Β It’s a powerful neurotoxin (most of the worst venoms are because the species that produce them need to kill or at least paralyze their prey quickly, like jellyfish whose fragile tentacles could be damaged if their food doesn’t stop struggling) that attacks the sodium channels and causes muscle paralysis. Β It doesn’t necessarily kill you quickly. Β It PARALYZES you quickly, so that you can’t really call for help or describe the problem, and you will probably end up slowly suffocating from a paralyzed diaphragm. Β Tetrodotoxin can be metabolized by the body in a matter of hours, but it can also kill you in a matter of minutes if you get a lethal dose (which isn’t much, the 

LD50

 or median lethal dose, the dose at which you have a 50% chance of survival, is only 8 MICROGRAMS per kilogram of body weight (as tested in mice)). Β This is, by venom standards, not a large amount, which means the animal that is capable of putting this venom inside your body is very very good at killing the absolute shit out of you.
DON’T TOUCH THE BLUE RINGED OCTOPUS.
Now, because overkill is my motto, let me briefly explain why Conus geographus is the undisputed champion of YOU WILL NOT SURVIVE, AND FURTHERMORE FUCK YOU FOR THINKING OTHERWISE.
A cone snail walks into a bar. Β You’d expect the bartender to ask,Β β€œwhat’s your poison,” but they were paralyzed before they could ask and OH LOOK they’re already FUCKING DEAD ON THE GROUND.
Conus geographus is about 4-6 inches long and nature’s equivalent of Avada Kedavra. Β Cone snails literally have their own KIND of toxins named after them: conotoxin. Β Not only is there no antidote, but their venom AGGRESSIVELY RESISTS our ability to find a cure, because we barely understand how it works AND conotoxins are so internally varied, even within a single species, that any one antidote isn’t going to help because they’re constantly mutating and evolving their venom to prevent their prey from evolving a resistance to it. Β Plus their venom is like, a bunch of different venoms all at once JUST IN CASE any one of them wasn’t good enough.
I want you to read these two sentences from the wiki page on conotoxin:
β€œConotoxins have a variety of mechanisms of actions, most of which have not been determined.”


β€œThe LD50 of conotoxin is 50 ng/kg.”
Remember how the 

LD50Β of tetrodotoxin is 8ΞΌg/kg? Β Conotoxin is 160 times more potent. Β FIFTY NANOGRAMS PER KILOGRAM HAS A 50% CHANCE OF KILLING YOU. A 220-POUND HUMAN HAS A 50% CHANCE OF SURVIVAL AGAINST JUST 5 MICROGRAMS OF CONOTOXIN. Β 
I DID SOME MATH. Β 
IT WOULD TAKE 7-9 MILLIGRAMS OF CONOTOXIN TO KILL A BLUE WHALE, THE HEAVIEST ANIMAL TO EVER LIVE. (based on weight estimates from 300-400,000 lbs.)
Conus geographus is so fucking deadly thatΒ β€œIn two cases of envenomation, only 0.0002-0.0005 mg resulted in severe paralysis.”
THIS THING KILLS STUFF SO HARD THAT BEFORE YOU HEAR THE FIRSTΒ β€œMORTAL KOMBAT” IN THE MORTAL KOMBAT THEME, THERE’S PROBABLY ALREADY BEEN A FATALITY.
And guess what? Β Cone snails don’t do that NOOB SHIT with the superficial biting or stinging. Β Your wetsuit or gloves won’t protect you. Β Because homeboy didn’t bring teeth to evolution’s knife fight. Β Oh no. Β It brought a motherfucking radula POISON HARPOON. Β It’s lightning fast and has way more piercing power than some silly little cnidocytes or salivary bacteria.
Another component of their venom is being researched for its potential as a pain reliever. Β β€œWHY WOULD YOU DO THAT????” you might reasonably ask. Β And you would be right to do so, because science has gone too far and has surely sinned against the very image of Mollusca Kedavra. Β Well, it turns out the answer isΒ β€œResearch shows that certain component proteins of the venom target specific human pain receptors and can be up to 10,000 times more potent than morphine without morphine’s addictive properties and side-effects.” Β That’s right, the part of their venom that SPECIFICALLY DOESN’T HURT YOU is up to 10,000 times more potent than morphine.
Also, Conus geographus (along with one other cone snail species, C. tulipa) is the only known non-human animal to weaponize insulin. Β In addition to the normal insulin that the snails produce for their own use, their bodies manufacture an ADDITIONAL insulin molecule that is similar to the kind produced in fish (which they eat) for the sole purpose of stunning their prey through hypoglycemic shock. Β BECAUSE APPARENTLY THEY DON’T FEEL LIKE THEY’D KILL YOU HARD ENOUGH OTHERWISE.
IF you are going to survive the ALMIGHTY CONE SNAIL, WHO KNOWS NO FEAR, TRIUMPHANT HEDGEMON OF THE MOLECULAR ARMS RACE, TRUE BORN HEIR TO THE SCYTHE OF DEATH ITSELF, FISHSLAYER, GOD AMONG MOLLUSKS, WHOSE WRATH IS MERCIFUL ONLY IN ITS BREVITY, ADMIRABLE IN ITS BEAUTY AND UNSULLIED BY THE UNWORTHY TOUCH OF MORTAL HANDS OR SCALES OR REALLY ANYTHING IN RANGE OF ITS RADULA HARPOON, then literally the only thing that’s going to save you is for you to be kept alive artificially (externalizing your respiratory functions to force your body to continue breathing, basically) until the effects of the venom wear off. Β And because of how quickly this venom acts, you need to get that medical attention VERY, VERY FAST.
And if you don’t get it, you will still be conscious while the paralysis slowly suffocates you to death.
Don’t touch the pretty shells.


I’ve never been so intrigued to learn how easily I could be fucking exterminated from existence by the overpowered sea creatures of the world. You’ve done a better job at keeping my attention then any of my teachers ever have.


You know what I’m putting this on the writing blog cause I personally can see potential in some fantasy villain attempting to weaponise cone snailsIn which case, all hail snail king 🐌 
        

            
            

                
                
                    i-should-be-writing-rn:

inlovewithaleheather:

thecuckoohaslanded:


gerbthenerd:

alexander-lamington:


thelizardprincess:


biglawbear:


blacksirencry:

swaglexander-the-great:


#That’s a#That’s a blue ringed octopus#You’re going to die do you realise that#It is literally one of the most deadly animals in the world#Not just in Australia or just in the ocean in THE WORLD#Put it DOWN#And go to a hospital jfcΒ via platonic-rabbitΒ 
me tryna find out if this fool died


β€œThe blue-ringed octopus, despite its small size, carries enough venom to kill twenty-six adult humans within minutes. Their bites are tiny and often painless, with many victims not realizing they have been envenomated until respiratory depression and paralysis start to set in.[8] No blue-ringed octopus antivenom is available yet, making it one of the deadliest reef inhabitants in the ocean.”
Holy shit


And this is why I don’t go in the ocean anymore


Also the blue rings literally only show up when it is distressed so this person has angered it!!! You are in danger friend!!!


Actually this guy keeps them as pets they’re on his instagram (william_exotique) and he frequently holds then and I just? Don’t know why? And also every picture or video he posts of them shows the blue rings so they’re always in distress I just do not understand why he’s doing this



#AMY EXPLAIN HOW DUMB THIS GUY ISΒ 
I mean OP pretty much covered it. Β A blue ringed octopus is almost on the level of CONE SNAIL on the list of things you ABSOLUTELY DO NOT PICK UP UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES.
But ask and you shall receive, Β On this episode ofΒ β€œFun Facts With Cuckoo,” DEAD. Β YOU’RE DEAD. Β EVERYTHING IS DEAD AND YOU SHOULD NEVER TOUCH ANYTHING IN THE OCEAN EVER AGAIN.
There are many things that will kill you.

[citation needed]
There are fewer, but still many things that will kill you FAST.
There are yet fewer things that kill you fast and by such an overwhelming margin of overkill that nervous laughter is our only solace in the dark of this terrible, surprisingly Lovecraftian world of unearthly horrors that we live in.
Of the things that I know about which will kill you fast via just plain insultingly potent venom, which is a not insignificant number of things because I know a not insignificant number of things, there are about 3 things in the ocean – IN THE WHOLEΒ OCEAN – which are so insanely, mind-bogglingly deadly that there is pretty much no possible hope for survival (I mean you CAN, but god help you if you’re ever in that situation, because god’s just about damn near the only thing that CAN help you). Β THE. WHOLE. OCEAN.
Those three things are the Irukandji (a tiny (1cm) species of box jellyfish, which has stingers not only on its tentacles but on its BELL, for reasons no one has definitively figured out, and is so toxic despite its size its sting can cause a severe brain hemorrhage), the cone snail (a group of carnivorous sea snails that is accepted to be the most venomous animals on earth, with a STUPIDLY fast acting and extremely powerful neurotoxin that has in at least one case killed a human ALMOST INSTANTANEOUSLY, because the swimmer who found two beautiful shells (unfortunately cone snails tend to have very pretty shells which makes people want to pick them up) was holding them up for a picture and ended up being stabbed in the neck by not one but TWO cone snails at the same time, and it is believed that she was literally dead before she hit the ground, I mean LITERALLY in a 100% non-fictional and non-exaggerated way, in between the time the two cone snails stabbed her and the time her limp body hit the sand, she was not alive anymore), and the blue ringed octopus.
It is POSSIBLE to survive any of these. Β But not without immediate medical attention. Β Of these three, the Irukandji is by far the most treatable, because Australia and other coastal regions (including Florida and other parts of the US) are kind of experienced in dealing with box jellyfish.
The blue ringed octopus will fucking kill you. Β There’s no antidote for their venom, ONE COMPONENT OF WHICH (tetrodotoxin) is 1200 times deadlier than cyanide. Β It’s a powerful neurotoxin (most of the worst venoms are because the species that produce them need to kill or at least paralyze their prey quickly, like jellyfish whose fragile tentacles could be damaged if their food doesn’t stop struggling) that attacks the sodium channels and causes muscle paralysis. Β It doesn’t necessarily kill you quickly. Β It PARALYZES you quickly, so that you can’t really call for help or describe the problem, and you will probably end up slowly suffocating from a paralyzed diaphragm. Β Tetrodotoxin can be metabolized by the body in a matter of hours, but it can also kill you in a matter of minutes if you get a lethal dose (which isn’t much, the 

LD50

 or median lethal dose, the dose at which you have a 50% chance of survival, is only 8 MICROGRAMS per kilogram of body weight (as tested in mice)). Β This is, by venom standards, not a large amount, which means the animal that is capable of putting this venom inside your body is very very good at killing the absolute shit out of you.
DON’T TOUCH THE BLUE RINGED OCTOPUS.
Now, because overkill is my motto, let me briefly explain why Conus geographus is the undisputed champion of YOU WILL NOT SURVIVE, AND FURTHERMORE FUCK YOU FOR THINKING OTHERWISE.
A cone snail walks into a bar. Β You’d expect the bartender to ask,Β β€œwhat’s your poison,” but they were paralyzed before they could ask and OH LOOK they’re already FUCKING DEAD ON THE GROUND.
Conus geographus is about 4-6 inches long and nature’s equivalent of Avada Kedavra. Β Cone snails literally have their own KIND of toxins named after them: conotoxin. Β Not only is there no antidote, but their venom AGGRESSIVELY RESISTS our ability to find a cure, because we barely understand how it works AND conotoxins are so internally varied, even within a single species, that any one antidote isn’t going to help because they’re constantly mutating and evolving their venom to prevent their prey from evolving a resistance to it. Β Plus their venom is like, a bunch of different venoms all at once JUST IN CASE any one of them wasn’t good enough.
I want you to read these two sentences from the wiki page on conotoxin:
β€œConotoxins have a variety of mechanisms of actions, most of which have not been determined.”


β€œThe LD50 of conotoxin is 50 ng/kg.”
Remember how the 

LD50Β of tetrodotoxin is 8ΞΌg/kg? Β Conotoxin is 160 times more potent. Β FIFTY NANOGRAMS PER KILOGRAM HAS A 50% CHANCE OF KILLING YOU. A 220-POUND HUMAN HAS A 50% CHANCE OF SURVIVAL AGAINST JUST 5 MICROGRAMS OF CONOTOXIN. Β 
I DID SOME MATH. Β 
IT WOULD TAKE 7-9 MILLIGRAMS OF CONOTOXIN TO KILL A BLUE WHALE, THE HEAVIEST ANIMAL TO EVER LIVE. (based on weight estimates from 300-400,000 lbs.)
Conus geographus is so fucking deadly thatΒ β€œIn two cases of envenomation, only 0.0002-0.0005 mg resulted in severe paralysis.”
THIS THING KILLS STUFF SO HARD THAT BEFORE YOU HEAR THE FIRSTΒ β€œMORTAL KOMBAT” IN THE MORTAL KOMBAT THEME, THERE’S PROBABLY ALREADY BEEN A FATALITY.
And guess what? Β Cone snails don’t do that NOOB SHIT with the superficial biting or stinging. Β Your wetsuit or gloves won’t protect you. Β Because homeboy didn’t bring teeth to evolution’s knife fight. Β Oh no. Β It brought a motherfucking radula POISON HARPOON. Β It’s lightning fast and has way more piercing power than some silly little cnidocytes or salivary bacteria.
Another component of their venom is being researched for its potential as a pain reliever. Β β€œWHY WOULD YOU DO THAT????” you might reasonably ask. Β And you would be right to do so, because science has gone too far and has surely sinned against the very image of Mollusca Kedavra. Β Well, it turns out the answer isΒ β€œResearch shows that certain component proteins of the venom target specific human pain receptors and can be up to 10,000 times more potent than morphine without morphine’s addictive properties and side-effects.” Β That’s right, the part of their venom that SPECIFICALLY DOESN’T HURT YOU is up to 10,000 times more potent than morphine.
Also, Conus geographus (along with one other cone snail species, C. tulipa) is the only known non-human animal to weaponize insulin. Β In addition to the normal insulin that the snails produce for their own use, their bodies manufacture an ADDITIONAL insulin molecule that is similar to the kind produced in fish (which they eat) for the sole purpose of stunning their prey through hypoglycemic shock. Β BECAUSE APPARENTLY THEY DON’T FEEL LIKE THEY’D KILL YOU HARD ENOUGH OTHERWISE.
IF you are going to survive the ALMIGHTY CONE SNAIL, WHO KNOWS NO FEAR, TRIUMPHANT HEDGEMON OF THE MOLECULAR ARMS RACE, TRUE BORN HEIR TO THE SCYTHE OF DEATH ITSELF, FISHSLAYER, GOD AMONG MOLLUSKS, WHOSE WRATH IS MERCIFUL ONLY IN ITS BREVITY, ADMIRABLE IN ITS BEAUTY AND UNSULLIED BY THE UNWORTHY TOUCH OF MORTAL HANDS OR SCALES OR REALLY ANYTHING IN RANGE OF ITS RADULA HARPOON, then literally the only thing that’s going to save you is for you to be kept alive artificially (externalizing your respiratory functions to force your body to continue breathing, basically) until the effects of the venom wear off. Β And because of how quickly this venom acts, you need to get that medical attention VERY, VERY FAST.
And if you don’t get it, you will still be conscious while the paralysis slowly suffocates you to death.
Don’t touch the pretty shells.


I’ve never been so intrigued to learn how easily I could be fucking exterminated from existence by the overpowered sea creatures of the world. You’ve done a better job at keeping my attention then any of my teachers ever have.


You know what I’m putting this on the writing blog cause I personally can see potential in some fantasy villain attempting to weaponise cone snailsIn which case, all hail snail king 🐌 : i-should-be-writing-rn:

inlovewithaleheather:

thecuckoohaslanded:


gerbthenerd:

alexander-lamington:


thelizardprincess:


biglawbear:


blacksirencry:

swaglexander-the-great:


#That’s a#That’s a blue ringed octopus#You’re going to die do you realise that#It is literally one of the most deadly animals in the world#Not just in Australia or just in the ocean in THE WORLD#Put it DOWN#And go to a hospital jfcΒ via platonic-rabbitΒ 
me tryna find out if this fool died


β€œThe blue-ringed octopus, despite its small size, carries enough venom to kill twenty-six adult humans within minutes. Their bites are tiny and often painless, with many victims not realizing they have been envenomated until respiratory depression and paralysis start to set in.[8] No blue-ringed octopus antivenom is available yet, making it one of the deadliest reef inhabitants in the ocean.”
Holy shit


And this is why I don’t go in the ocean anymore


Also the blue rings literally only show up when it is distressed so this person has angered it!!! You are in danger friend!!!


Actually this guy keeps them as pets they’re on his instagram (william_exotique) and he frequently holds then and I just? Don’t know why? And also every picture or video he posts of them shows the blue rings so they’re always in distress I just do not understand why he’s doing this



#AMY EXPLAIN HOW DUMB THIS GUY ISΒ 
I mean OP pretty much covered it. Β A blue ringed octopus is almost on the level of CONE SNAIL on the list of things you ABSOLUTELY DO NOT PICK UP UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES.
But ask and you shall receive, Β On this episode ofΒ β€œFun Facts With Cuckoo,” DEAD. Β YOU’RE DEAD. Β EVERYTHING IS DEAD AND YOU SHOULD NEVER TOUCH ANYTHING IN THE OCEAN EVER AGAIN.
There are many things that will kill you.

[citation needed]
There are fewer, but still many things that will kill you FAST.
There are yet fewer things that kill you fast and by such an overwhelming margin of overkill that nervous laughter is our only solace in the dark of this terrible, surprisingly Lovecraftian world of unearthly horrors that we live in.
Of the things that I know about which will kill you fast via just plain insultingly potent venom, which is a not insignificant number of things because I know a not insignificant number of things, there are about 3 things in the ocean – IN THE WHOLEΒ OCEAN – which are so insanely, mind-bogglingly deadly that there is pretty much no possible hope for survival (I mean you CAN, but god help you if you’re ever in that situation, because god’s just about damn near the only thing that CAN help you). Β THE. WHOLE. OCEAN.
Those three things are the Irukandji (a tiny (1cm) species of box jellyfish, which has stingers not only on its tentacles but on its BELL, for reasons no one has definitively figured out, and is so toxic despite its size its sting can cause a severe brain hemorrhage), the cone snail (a group of carnivorous sea snails that is accepted to be the most venomous animals on earth, with a STUPIDLY fast acting and extremely powerful neurotoxin that has in at least one case killed a human ALMOST INSTANTANEOUSLY, because the swimmer who found two beautiful shells (unfortunately cone snails tend to have very pretty shells which makes people want to pick them up) was holding them up for a picture and ended up being stabbed in the neck by not one but TWO cone snails at the same time, and it is believed that she was literally dead before she hit the ground, I mean LITERALLY in a 100% non-fictional and non-exaggerated way, in between the time the two cone snails stabbed her and the time her limp body hit the sand, she was not alive anymore), and the blue ringed octopus.
It is POSSIBLE to survive any of these. Β But not without immediate medical attention. Β Of these three, the Irukandji is by far the most treatable, because Australia and other coastal regions (including Florida and other parts of the US) are kind of experienced in dealing with box jellyfish.
The blue ringed octopus will fucking kill you. Β There’s no antidote for their venom, ONE COMPONENT OF WHICH (tetrodotoxin) is 1200 times deadlier than cyanide. Β It’s a powerful neurotoxin (most of the worst venoms are because the species that produce them need to kill or at least paralyze their prey quickly, like jellyfish whose fragile tentacles could be damaged if their food doesn’t stop struggling) that attacks the sodium channels and causes muscle paralysis. Β It doesn’t necessarily kill you quickly. Β It PARALYZES you quickly, so that you can’t really call for help or describe the problem, and you will probably end up slowly suffocating from a paralyzed diaphragm. Β Tetrodotoxin can be metabolized by the body in a matter of hours, but it can also kill you in a matter of minutes if you get a lethal dose (which isn’t much, the 

LD50

 or median lethal dose, the dose at which you have a 50% chance of survival, is only 8 MICROGRAMS per kilogram of body weight (as tested in mice)). Β This is, by venom standards, not a large amount, which means the animal that is capable of putting this venom inside your body is very very good at killing the absolute shit out of you.
DON’T TOUCH THE BLUE RINGED OCTOPUS.
Now, because overkill is my motto, let me briefly explain why Conus geographus is the undisputed champion of YOU WILL NOT SURVIVE, AND FURTHERMORE FUCK YOU FOR THINKING OTHERWISE.
A cone snail walks into a bar. Β You’d expect the bartender to ask,Β β€œwhat’s your poison,” but they were paralyzed before they could ask and OH LOOK they’re already FUCKING DEAD ON THE GROUND.
Conus geographus is about 4-6 inches long and nature’s equivalent of Avada Kedavra. Β Cone snails literally have their own KIND of toxins named after them: conotoxin. Β Not only is there no antidote, but their venom AGGRESSIVELY RESISTS our ability to find a cure, because we barely understand how it works AND conotoxins are so internally varied, even within a single species, that any one antidote isn’t going to help because they’re constantly mutating and evolving their venom to prevent their prey from evolving a resistance to it. Β Plus their venom is like, a bunch of different venoms all at once JUST IN CASE any one of them wasn’t good enough.
I want you to read these two sentences from the wiki page on conotoxin:
β€œConotoxins have a variety of mechanisms of actions, most of which have not been determined.”


β€œThe LD50 of conotoxin is 50 ng/kg.”
Remember how the 

LD50Β of tetrodotoxin is 8ΞΌg/kg? Β Conotoxin is 160 times more potent. Β FIFTY NANOGRAMS PER KILOGRAM HAS A 50% CHANCE OF KILLING YOU. A 220-POUND HUMAN HAS A 50% CHANCE OF SURVIVAL AGAINST JUST 5 MICROGRAMS OF CONOTOXIN. Β 
I DID SOME MATH. Β 
IT WOULD TAKE 7-9 MILLIGRAMS OF CONOTOXIN TO KILL A BLUE WHALE, THE HEAVIEST ANIMAL TO EVER LIVE. (based on weight estimates from 300-400,000 lbs.)
Conus geographus is so fucking deadly thatΒ β€œIn two cases of envenomation, only 0.0002-0.0005 mg resulted in severe paralysis.”
THIS THING KILLS STUFF SO HARD THAT BEFORE YOU HEAR THE FIRSTΒ β€œMORTAL KOMBAT” IN THE MORTAL KOMBAT THEME, THERE’S PROBABLY ALREADY BEEN A FATALITY.
And guess what? Β Cone snails don’t do that NOOB SHIT with the superficial biting or stinging. Β Your wetsuit or gloves won’t protect you. Β Because homeboy didn’t bring teeth to evolution’s knife fight. Β Oh no. Β It brought a motherfucking radula POISON HARPOON. Β It’s lightning fast and has way more piercing power than some silly little cnidocytes or salivary bacteria.
Another component of their venom is being researched for its potential as a pain reliever. Β β€œWHY WOULD YOU DO THAT????” you might reasonably ask. Β And you would be right to do so, because science has gone too far and has surely sinned against the very image of Mollusca Kedavra. Β Well, it turns out the answer isΒ β€œResearch shows that certain component proteins of the venom target specific human pain receptors and can be up to 10,000 times more potent than morphine without morphine’s addictive properties and side-effects.” Β That’s right, the part of their venom that SPECIFICALLY DOESN’T HURT YOU is up to 10,000 times more potent than morphine.
Also, Conus geographus (along with one other cone snail species, C. tulipa) is the only known non-human animal to weaponize insulin. Β In addition to the normal insulin that the snails produce for their own use, their bodies manufacture an ADDITIONAL insulin molecule that is similar to the kind produced in fish (which they eat) for the sole purpose of stunning their prey through hypoglycemic shock. Β BECAUSE APPARENTLY THEY DON’T FEEL LIKE THEY’D KILL YOU HARD ENOUGH OTHERWISE.
IF you are going to survive the ALMIGHTY CONE SNAIL, WHO KNOWS NO FEAR, TRIUMPHANT HEDGEMON OF THE MOLECULAR ARMS RACE, TRUE BORN HEIR TO THE SCYTHE OF DEATH ITSELF, FISHSLAYER, GOD AMONG MOLLUSKS, WHOSE WRATH IS MERCIFUL ONLY IN ITS BREVITY, ADMIRABLE IN ITS BEAUTY AND UNSULLIED BY THE UNWORTHY TOUCH OF MORTAL HANDS OR SCALES OR REALLY ANYTHING IN RANGE OF ITS RADULA HARPOON, then literally the only thing that’s going to save you is for you to be kept alive artificially (externalizing your respiratory functions to force your body to continue breathing, basically) until the effects of the venom wear off. Β And because of how quickly this venom acts, you need to get that medical attention VERY, VERY FAST.
And if you don’t get it, you will still be conscious while the paralysis slowly suffocates you to death.
Don’t touch the pretty shells.


I’ve never been so intrigued to learn how easily I could be fucking exterminated from existence by the overpowered sea creatures of the world. You’ve done a better job at keeping my attention then any of my teachers ever have.


You know what I’m putting this on the writing blog cause I personally can see potential in some fantasy villain attempting to weaponise cone snailsIn which case, all hail snail king 🐌 
                    
                
            

            
            
        

    

    

        
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        I figure someone mightve posted this before, but its still appropriate for Christmas.: emilysidhe
 Baby It's Cold Outside discourse is the same as Macbeth discourse
 dont-spoop-yourself
 Explain?
 emilysidhe
 OK, so one of the big debates in Macbeth involves the scene in
 which Lady Macbeth talks Macbeth into killing King Duncan. People
 debate strenuously over whether it's a scene of Lady M pressuring
 her reluctant husband into it, or whether it's a scene of her sensing,
 due to their emotional intimacy, that this murder is something her
 husband secretly wants and has partially internally decided to do,
 and is arguing him into it in order to help him give himself permission
 to do it, in the same way that people see their loved ones wavering
 over the dessert menu and jump in with things like, "Go on, get the
 cheesecake, it's your birthday!" Readers and scholars disagree
 strenuously about this - we even studied an incident in college in
 which two 18th century illustrators attended the same performance
 and happened to draw the scene the day after, producing two images
 that advanced opposite interpretations even though they'd seen the
 exact same actors do the exact same performance. It's a big deal
 In the same way, the Baby, It's Cold Outside discourse is about
 whether this is a song about sexual harassment, or whether it's a
 woman singing about how she wishes she could spend the night with
 the guy she just had an excellent date with if only the neighbors
 wouldn't talk, and him responding, "Stay, baby, it's cold out! No one
 could expect you to go home in this!"
 ms-demeanor
 I really don't know (baby stab his side)
 King Duncan's a bro (baby cut through his hide)
 I like him a lot (That decrepit old sot?)
 This plan ain't so great (But what a king you'd make!)
 The guards might worry (Darling, do it in a hurry!)
 His sons will rush the door (So knock them on the floor.)
 I'm not such a knave (Bash his head with a stave)
 But l'd be a good king (Now you're starting to think)
 The dukes might all talk (But their chatter means naught)
 Say, love, what do you mean (You'd make such a king)
 I simply must go (baby cut through his hide)
 There's a war on you know (baby cut through his hide)
 But what of his wife? (And what of his life?)
 It feels like bad luck (But that don't mean much)
 l've got a bad premonition (And l've got a mission)
 But that's just superstition (My love, you're a vision)
 The witches said l'd rule (If they lied they were cruel)
 So babv let's stab
 Stab his siiiide!
I figure someone mightve posted this before, but its still appropriate for Christmas.
        

            
            

                
                
                    I figure someone mightve posted this before, but its still appropriate for Christmas.: emilysidhe
 Baby It's Cold Outside discourse is the same as Macbeth discourse
 dont-spoop-yourself
 Explain?
 emilysidhe
 OK, so one of the big debates in Macbeth involves the scene in
 which Lady Macbeth talks Macbeth into killing King Duncan. People
 debate strenuously over whether it's a scene of Lady M pressuring
 her reluctant husband into it, or whether it's a scene of her sensing,
 due to their emotional intimacy, that this murder is something her
 husband secretly wants and has partially internally decided to do,
 and is arguing him into it in order to help him give himself permission
 to do it, in the same way that people see their loved ones wavering
 over the dessert menu and jump in with things like, "Go on, get the
 cheesecake, it's your birthday!" Readers and scholars disagree
 strenuously about this - we even studied an incident in college in
 which two 18th century illustrators attended the same performance
 and happened to draw the scene the day after, producing two images
 that advanced opposite interpretations even though they'd seen the
 exact same actors do the exact same performance. It's a big deal
 In the same way, the Baby, It's Cold Outside discourse is about
 whether this is a song about sexual harassment, or whether it's a
 woman singing about how she wishes she could spend the night with
 the guy she just had an excellent date with if only the neighbors
 wouldn't talk, and him responding, "Stay, baby, it's cold out! No one
 could expect you to go home in this!"
 ms-demeanor
 I really don't know (baby stab his side)
 King Duncan's a bro (baby cut through his hide)
 I like him a lot (That decrepit old sot?)
 This plan ain't so great (But what a king you'd make!)
 The guards might worry (Darling, do it in a hurry!)
 His sons will rush the door (So knock them on the floor.)
 I'm not such a knave (Bash his head with a stave)
 But l'd be a good king (Now you're starting to think)
 The dukes might all talk (But their chatter means naught)
 Say, love, what do you mean (You'd make such a king)
 I simply must go (baby cut through his hide)
 There's a war on you know (baby cut through his hide)
 But what of his wife? (And what of his life?)
 It feels like bad luck (But that don't mean much)
 l've got a bad premonition (And l've got a mission)
 But that's just superstition (My love, you're a vision)
 The witches said l'd rule (If they lied they were cruel)
 So babv let's stab
 Stab his siiiide!
I figure someone mightve posted this before, but its still appropriate for Christmas.
                    
                
            

            
                
                
I figure someone mightve posted this before, but its still appropriate for Christmas.

                
            
            
        

    

    

        
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        celticpyro:

kiwianaroha:

reembeam:

freshest-tittymilk:

princealigorna:

And this is why we used to make cars out of STEEL instead of FIBERGLASS! Sure, fiberglass is a lot lighter in weight and hence a hell of a lot better for gas mileage. But you hit anything at more than 20 mph and the entire body explodes off the fucking thing, and now you’re spending more to repair the car than it’s worth because you need a entire front end, read end, or side panel. They can’t just take the damaged section off, beat it out with a hammer, sand it, and repaint it.

Everything is made with the idea of it being easier to replace than to maintain, aka planned obsolescence. Thanks, capitalism

omg y’all know i love old cars but newer ones are SAFER because they are meant to absorb the impact so it doesn’t transmit all that force to your bodiesΒ this has been a psa thank you

Crumple zones in the front and rear of modern cars absorb the force of the crash so that the car is a write-off but your spleen is intact and you don’t haemorrhage to death before help arrives. It’s better to buy a new car or ride the bus than to have your liver smooshed into pate while its still inside you

Me as I’m internally bleeding to death after a car wreck: So glad my old car is okay! Fuck capitalism!: SheStayFabulous
 @Shestayfabulous
 Man old cars really were made to last
 1/5
 Ayton SZN
 @ReeceDontTweet
 ) his car ain't break a sweat
celticpyro:

kiwianaroha:

reembeam:

freshest-tittymilk:

princealigorna:

And this is why we used to make cars out of STEEL instead of FIBERGLASS! Sure, fiberglass is a lot lighter in weight and hence a hell of a lot better for gas mileage. But you hit anything at more than 20 mph and the entire body explodes off the fucking thing, and now you’re spending more to repair the car than it’s worth because you need a entire front end, read end, or side panel. They can’t just take the damaged section off, beat it out with a hammer, sand it, and repaint it.

Everything is made with the idea of it being easier to replace than to maintain, aka planned obsolescence. Thanks, capitalism

omg y’all know i love old cars but newer ones are SAFER because they are meant to absorb the impact so it doesn’t transmit all that force to your bodiesΒ this has been a psa thank you

Crumple zones in the front and rear of modern cars absorb the force of the crash so that the car is a write-off but your spleen is intact and you don’t haemorrhage to death before help arrives. It’s better to buy a new car or ride the bus than to have your liver smooshed into pate while its still inside you

Me as I’m internally bleeding to death after a car wreck: So glad my old car is okay! Fuck capitalism!
        

            
            

                
                
                    celticpyro:

kiwianaroha:

reembeam:

freshest-tittymilk:

princealigorna:

And this is why we used to make cars out of STEEL instead of FIBERGLASS! Sure, fiberglass is a lot lighter in weight and hence a hell of a lot better for gas mileage. But you hit anything at more than 20 mph and the entire body explodes off the fucking thing, and now you’re spending more to repair the car than it’s worth because you need a entire front end, read end, or side panel. They can’t just take the damaged section off, beat it out with a hammer, sand it, and repaint it.

Everything is made with the idea of it being easier to replace than to maintain, aka planned obsolescence. Thanks, capitalism

omg y’all know i love old cars but newer ones are SAFER because they are meant to absorb the impact so it doesn’t transmit all that force to your bodiesΒ this has been a psa thank you

Crumple zones in the front and rear of modern cars absorb the force of the crash so that the car is a write-off but your spleen is intact and you don’t haemorrhage to death before help arrives. It’s better to buy a new car or ride the bus than to have your liver smooshed into pate while its still inside you

Me as I’m internally bleeding to death after a car wreck: So glad my old car is okay! Fuck capitalism!: SheStayFabulous
 @Shestayfabulous
 Man old cars really were made to last
 1/5
 Ayton SZN
 @ReeceDontTweet
 ) his car ain't break a sweat
celticpyro:

kiwianaroha:

reembeam:

freshest-tittymilk:

princealigorna:

And this is why we used to make cars out of STEEL instead of FIBERGLASS! Sure, fiberglass is a lot lighter in weight and hence a hell of a lot better for gas mileage. But you hit anything at more than 20 mph and the entire body explodes off the fucking thing, and now you’re spending more to repair the car than it’s worth because you need a entire front end, read end, or side panel. They can’t just take the damaged section off, beat it out with a hammer, sand it, and repaint it.

Everything is made with the idea of it being easier to replace than to maintain, aka planned obsolescence. Thanks, capitalism

omg y’all know i love old cars but newer ones are SAFER because they are meant to absorb the impact so it doesn’t transmit all that force to your bodiesΒ this has been a psa thank you

Crumple zones in the front and rear of modern cars absorb the force of the crash so that the car is a write-off but your spleen is intact and you don’t haemorrhage to death before help arrives. It’s better to buy a new car or ride the bus than to have your liver smooshed into pate while its still inside you

Me as I’m internally bleeding to death after a car wreck: So glad my old car is okay! Fuck capitalism!
                    
                
            

            
            
        

    

    

        
Save