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It’s the end of a decade. I’m close to 100 profiles. Here are my favorites from the last 6 years of making them.: niftyshadesofjake niftyshadesofjake .... ...... Jake, 27 Jake, 27 O less than a mile away O less than a mile away We may fight, but please don't try and solve the argument with regular soda. It won't take racial inequality to get me down on one knee. I prefer diet; we both know you are all the sugar I need. niftyshadesofjake University of Southern California niftyshadesofjake Scottsdale, Arizona USC CLASS OF 2022 3,401 FRESHME 0% ganted Ethically granted admission APPLICATIO Jake, 29 Jake 28 O less than a mile away less than a mile away I'm not a celebrity. I don't have $500,000 to help I'm having trouble picking a costume. Want to help? my future children become trojans at USC. I am a gentlemen. I have $50 for dinner to ethically boost my chances of getting a trojan into you. Swipe left if you are a fan of ghosting. Swipe right if you are a fan of getting boned. niftyshadesofjake Scottsdale, Arizona niftyshadesofjake Scottsdale, Arizona .. let 6'0" A Caded in 5'6" 5'0" your cave of wonders POLICE DEPT. 4'6" (480) 627-9186 4'0" Yes Please Jake Arredondo 3'6" Jake, 29 Jake, 29 O less than a mile away O less than a mile away Tired of guys lying about their height? Here is government proof I am at least 6ft. I promise that it will take more than a few rubs for anything to come out of my magic lamp. For our first date, you cook our dinner, and I will cook the meth. niftyshadesofjake niftyshadesofjake Scottsdale, Arizona You ok Jake, 29 Still Single O less than a mile away Jake, 27 As a born-again virgin (3-month dry spell). I can relate to the current bachelor. I was feeling 22, but really I am 27 and should probably start taking dating seriously. Swipe right. I too am willing to wait on putting the Pin the V, until I am sure about you and me. Swipe right to fill the blank space in my heart. If you aren't looking for a love story, baby just swipe left. This is the first one I had ever created (bad quality). This joke took 1,000+ hours to máke. niftyshadesofjake et niftyshadesofjake Hmargemadders.com Make America Accessible Again Jake, 24 Jake, 29 O less than a mile away About Jake I am 50% hispanic, so our love could very well be separated by Trump's wall. This is why I am proud to announce my new company, Largeladders.com If we are to go on a date you must wear sandals. No socks. I am pro house elf slavery and i cannot risk gving my elf his freedom. Furthermore, ifu need me to drive, I will have dobby pull me on my scooter and you may ride pigty-back style I do this for the envronment. Bring your nice flip flops if you want me to pay for dinner Political oppression might keep us down, but with my new ladder company, I will have a way to climb right back into your arms. It’s the end of a decade. I’m close to 100 profiles. Here are my favorites from the last 6 years of making them.

It’s the end of a decade. I’m close to 100 profiles. Here are my favorites from the last 6 years of making them.

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A full story for “If Tinder had a year in review like Spotify does.”: niftyshadesofjake niftyshadesofjake Scottsdale, Arizona Scottsdale, Arizona Dating Apps Premium 2019 WRAPPED You have spent some serious time being single. Here is how much time you have spent on dating apps over the last 5 years. Let's hope you are single due to your personality, because the alternative is you are ugly. Top Dates Sarah S. Top Lies You Told Girls Your cat is cute 69,617 mins I love The Office I'm only talking to you I rarely drink You aren't like the other girls Laura T. Samantha R. Melissa R. 103,648 mins Stephanie M. 53,011 107,107 Top Hair Color Minutes on Dates mins 118,659 mins mins 3,600 Brunette 2017 2019 2018 2016 2015 niftyshadesofjake niftyshadesofjake Scottsdale, Arizona Scottsdale, Arizona In perfect harmony You were pretty desperate. USC CLASS OF 2022 You discovered 304 new girls this year. But you really didn't vibe with anyone. 3,401 0% anted You didn't swipe right on one specific type of girl. Below is what you look for most in a match. Ethically FRESHME admission APPLICATIO You created 38 new profile pictures, watched 4 girls report you for being inappropriate, and spent 65 hours debating if you should give up on dating and get a dog. Jake, 29 O less than a mile away I'm not a celebrity. I don't have $500,000 to help my future children become trojans at USC. I am a gentlemen. I have $50 for dinner to ethically boost my chances of getting a trojan into you. Has a pulse and will give you attention. Cute Face Jake, 29 O less than a mile away Little Waist As a born-again virgin (3-month dry spell), I can relate to the current bachelor. Big Behind Swipe right. I too am willing to wait on putting the Pin the V, until I am sure about you and me. Good Personality Jake 28 O less than a mile away Ladies, if I can do this to Leo, imagine what I can do to you. : A full story for “If Tinder had a year in review like Spotify does.”

A full story for “If Tinder had a year in review like Spotify does.”

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so fucking wholesome: LordFarqiplier5 8 @2-6h No, I, and most others refuse. You may seem on the surface as if you're just being edgy, but there is no life in those eyes. I can only hope you are joking, and if not, that you get better. Dont delete this post. Know who you have to talk to in a time of need. This whole comment section is full of people who have been down that road, and I'm sure are willing to talk to you if need be. Get well, my friend, because depression isnt a joke, it is an illness that shouldn't be overlooked r/RoastMe u/MufasaQuePasa 358http://redd.i... 8h i Reply 17 years old russian with crippling depression. Give me a reason to end it all 11.0k 156 more replies CooldOwn34 2-5h You look like the guy I know that went to get help and got better. edit: Wow this blew up! I was just trying to bring in some positive thoughts. Thanks everyone, have an awesome day! Reply t 8.9k Buddy, you stumbled into a pit of some of the most vicious vipers on the internet, and we're all rooting for you. Virtual hug, my brother. 2.9k Reply 6 more replies Uktarget 7h I'm with the others, I am normally pretty brutal but I've been there and the last thing you need is people ripping into you get help see a doctor get someone like a mental health worker to talk to. Reply 2.5k 23 more replies Satailleure 7h Get out of depression, do something meaningful, grow an ego then come back here acting like you're the shit, and I'll fuck your mind up. Until then, get better my friend. Depression is a motherfucker. so fucking wholesome
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ambermusicbox: overherewiththequeers: overherewiththequeers: castielcampbell: jaydenthorne: No. Hollywood has an older man problem. this is so gross I wish I could remember the name of the actress who went ballistic after being told that, at 35, she was too old to play the love interest for the 55-year-old lead. It was Maggie Gyllenhall.  And I stand corrected, she was 37. Damn : EMMA STONE 54 Sean Penn, 54 Colin Firth, 53 EMMA STONE'S AGE Edward Norton, 45 LOVE INTEREST'S AGE Joaquin Phoenix, 40 Bradley Cooper, 40 an Gosling 30 Andrew Garfield, 28 Penn Badgley, 23 Chris Lowell 26 Irrational Birdman, Man Jesse Eisenberg, 25 Gangster 26 26 Squad, 2!5 Jonah Hil 23 24 The Help, 23 Easy A, 21 Aloha, 26 Superbad 18 The Amazing Spider-Man Zombieland 20 Crazy, Stupid, Love Magic in the Moonlight 16 2007 2008 2009 2010 201 2012 2013 2014 2015 YEAR ULTURE SCARLETT JOHANSSON 54 Bill Murray 52 SCARLETT JOHANSSON'S AGE Mark Ruffalo, 47 LOVE INTEREST'S AGE Jon Favreau, 47 Billy Bob Thornton, 46 Aaron Eckhart, 38 Matt Damon, 41 Javier Bardem, 39 Hugh Jackman, 37 Joaquin Phoenix, 39 Joseph Gordon- 32 Ewan McGregor, 34 Bradley Cooper 34 Her 29 Jonatharn Rhys Meyers, 28 Chris Evans, 26 We Bought a Zoo, 27 Chef. Don Jon, 29 28 Lost in Translation, 18 The Nanny 24 Match Diaries, 23 Point 22 He's Just Not Vicky That Into You The 21 21 Island, 20 Cristina 21 Bcelona Avengers: Age of Ultron 30 The Man Who Wasn'tv There 16 The Black Scoop Dahlia 16 2001 2003 2005 2007 2009 2011 2013 2015 YEAR ULTURE JENNIFER LAWRENCE 54 JENNIFER LAWRENCE'S AGE LOVE INTEREST'S AGE Christian Bale, 39 Bradley Cooper 40 Bradley Cooper 37 Edgar Ramirez, 38 Michael Fassbender 34 Liam msworth 23 Max Thieriot, 23 Silver Linings Hunger Playbook American Hustle, 23 Serena, 24 The Anton Yelchin, Games, Joy 25 21 23 The Hunger Games: Catching Fire Like X-Men: Crazy First Class, 21 Josh the End of Hutcherson, the Street 20 19 16 2011 2012 2013 2014 2015 YEAR VULTURE ambermusicbox: overherewiththequeers: overherewiththequeers: castielcampbell: jaydenthorne: No. Hollywood has an older man problem. this is so gross I wish I could remember the name of the actress who went ballistic after being told that, at 35, she was too old to play the love interest for the 55-year-old lead. It was Maggie Gyllenhall.  And I stand corrected, she was 37. Damn
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awesomacious: r/RoastMe refuse to roast a guy suffering from depression: LordFarqiplier 582. 6h No, I, and most others refuse. You may seem on the surface as if you're just being edgy, but there is no life in those eyes. I can only hope you are joking, and if not, that you get better. Dont delete this post. Know who you have to talk to in a time of need. This whole comment section is full of people who have been down that road, and I'm sure are willing to talk to you if need be. Get well, my friend, because depression isnt a joke, it is arn illness that shouldn't be overlooked. r/RoastMe u/MufasaOuePasa 5 8 О. http://redd.i...-8h-i Reply11.0k 17 years old russian with crippling depression. Give me a reason to end it all. 156 more replies You look like the guy I know that went to get help and got better. edit: Wow this blew up! I was just trying to bring in some positive thoughts. Thanks everyone, have an awesome day! Reply8.9k Buddy, you stumbled into a pit of some of the most vicious vipers on the internet, and we're all rooting for you. Virtual hug, my brother. Reply 2.9k 6 more replies Uktarget 7h I'm with the others, I am normally pretty brutal but I've been there and the last thing you need is people ripping into you get help see a doctor get someone like a mental health worker to talk to. Reply 2.5k 23 more replies Satailleure 7h Get out of depression, do something meaningful, grow an ego then come back here acting like you're the shit, and rll fuck your mind up. Until then, get better my friend. Depression is a motherfucker. awesomacious: r/RoastMe refuse to roast a guy suffering from depression
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r/RoastMe refuse to roast a guy suffering from depression: LordFarqiplier 582. 6h No, I, and most others refuse. You may seem on the surface as if you're just being edgy, but there is no life in those eyes. I can only hope you are joking, and if not, that you get better. Dont delete this post. Know who you have to talk to in a time of need. This whole comment section is full of people who have been down that road, and I'm sure are willing to talk to you if need be. Get well, my friend, because depression isnt a joke, it is arn illness that shouldn't be overlooked. r/RoastMe u/MufasaOuePasa 5 8 О. http://redd.i...-8h-i Reply11.0k 17 years old russian with crippling depression. Give me a reason to end it all. 156 more replies You look like the guy I know that went to get help and got better. edit: Wow this blew up! I was just trying to bring in some positive thoughts. Thanks everyone, have an awesome day! Reply8.9k Buddy, you stumbled into a pit of some of the most vicious vipers on the internet, and we're all rooting for you. Virtual hug, my brother. Reply 2.9k 6 more replies Uktarget 7h I'm with the others, I am normally pretty brutal but I've been there and the last thing you need is people ripping into you get help see a doctor get someone like a mental health worker to talk to. Reply 2.5k 23 more replies Satailleure 7h Get out of depression, do something meaningful, grow an ego then come back here acting like you're the shit, and rll fuck your mind up. Until then, get better my friend. Depression is a motherfucker. r/RoastMe refuse to roast a guy suffering from depression
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tempestaurora: returnsandreturns: slowdissolve: firebirdeternal: thelightofthingshopedfor: whitepeopletwitter: She has a point There are two situations in which I make extremely sure I’m going precisely at or below the speed limit: I see a cop Some asshole is tailgating me This is both spiteful AND practical, because you can’t control whether or not they give you a safe following distance for the speed you’re travelling, but you CAN reduce the speed you both have to travel, having the triple benefit of A) increasing the likelihood that they’ll have enough time to stop without rear-ending you. B) lowering the speed of any possible collision and thus the severity and C) Pissing the fucker the fuck off. I feel so valid now i live in the south and i also do that anytime there’s a truck with confederate flags behind me  gotta do ten under the speed limit because safety my driving instructor told me that you should absolutely be doing this if some asshole is in your boot, though. because a) they shouldn’t be leaving such a small space between you guys anyway, and they need to learn better, b) you should not be going faster than you’re comfortable or faster than the speed limit because someone else is pressuring you, and c) if you get rear-ended, it’s always the person behind’s fault! if they crash into you, you will not be blamed! and its them who has to pay out: Mon @monschleichs Whenever people tailgate me when I'm going 40 in a 35 l always purposely slow down because it's like l gave you an extra 5 and you didn't appreciate it so now you get nothing tempestaurora: returnsandreturns: slowdissolve: firebirdeternal: thelightofthingshopedfor: whitepeopletwitter: She has a point There are two situations in which I make extremely sure I’m going precisely at or below the speed limit: I see a cop Some asshole is tailgating me This is both spiteful AND practical, because you can’t control whether or not they give you a safe following distance for the speed you’re travelling, but you CAN reduce the speed you both have to travel, having the triple benefit of A) increasing the likelihood that they’ll have enough time to stop without rear-ending you. B) lowering the speed of any possible collision and thus the severity and C) Pissing the fucker the fuck off. I feel so valid now i live in the south and i also do that anytime there’s a truck with confederate flags behind me  gotta do ten under the speed limit because safety my driving instructor told me that you should absolutely be doing this if some asshole is in your boot, though. because a) they shouldn’t be leaving such a small space between you guys anyway, and they need to learn better, b) you should not be going faster than you’re comfortable or faster than the speed limit because someone else is pressuring you, and c) if you get rear-ended, it’s always the person behind’s fault! if they crash into you, you will not be blamed! and its them who has to pay out
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