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feniczoroark: larjmarge: itsperegrine: the-mighty-birdy: carolina-viking: th3laugh1ngt0mat0: carolina-viking: Holy fucking shit I CANT BREATHE I HAVE TEARS STREAMING DOWN MY FACE Pretty sure this has the most notes of any of my posts gondorcallsforaid.rar I’m in a ball on my bed with tears streaming down my face If I have to read this, so do you. This is funnier than it should be Omfg : Anonymous 08/16/16(Tue)12:24:09 No.699763279 be fat >go to /fit/ and find a solution >main problem is i eat like a dumpster apparently things with loads of fiber is going to 211 KB JPG save my filthy soul "Fiber is digested slowly, leaving you feeling full longer, and helps with digestion" go out and buy two boxes of fiber-heavy breakfast bars the first day i have fiber bars for breakfast, lunch and a lot of snacks i dont shit that day next day i fiber myself up even more i dont shit that day either >fiber jesus is surely working his magic in my colon can feel the pounds dropping off because im not very hungry anymore i dont shit the third day >i dont shit the fourth day thefinaldaydawns.mp3 si have my morning coffee and feel my insides rumble in that familiar way the second i hit the toilet the weirdest fart in the world exits me it's whistling just a thin, continuous airstream of fart that smells like grandpapas coffin >no sound other than the whistling hiss suddenly stops the hole is plugged SOS >this shit is so solid it feels like i'm giving anal birth to Dwayne "The rock" Johnson >hang on to the shower curtain and pray the rock is shot out of my asshole at mach speed >my entire ass is covered in toilet water >now the fun begins a fart that could do more damage to thee ozone layer than aerosol ever did is shooting shit bullets out of me solid and prefectly round nuggets the smell is killing me blacking out the thuds of nuggets shooting around the bowl propelled by my insane fiber flatulence is giving me war flashbacks iwasntevenin'nam.jpeg my guts are yelling in german sounds like a moose in heat lives in my belly most of the shit isn't even digested at this point just forced out by all the gas that had been building up to my throat after an hour it finally seems to be over sim shivering and crying both legs collapse as i try to stand up >my stomach hitting the bathroom tiles forces one last trumpet gondorcallsforaid.rar shakily wipe my ass completely clean feniczoroark: larjmarge: itsperegrine: the-mighty-birdy: carolina-viking: th3laugh1ngt0mat0: carolina-viking: Holy fucking shit I CANT BREATHE I HAVE TEARS STREAMING DOWN MY FACE Pretty sure this has the most notes of any of my posts gondorcallsforaid.rar I’m in a ball on my bed with tears streaming down my face If I have to read this, so do you. This is funnier than it should be Omfg
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Pacer testadvice-animal.tumblr.com: Anonymous said: What's the pacer test? D: theoriginalbeifong: tro-yler: kada-bura: oh god. The pacer is a test in gym class/PE that brings a shiver of despair down the spine of any unfortunate soul who has gone through it before. And it's usually done at least once a year. Students line up on one side of the gym, eyeing nervously the painted line before the opposite wall that will decide their fate. The teacher hits play on the stereo and a cheery woman's voice echoes through the gymnasium. fuck that woman's happy demeanor. She explains the rules as the kids wait anxiously. Get to the other line before the beep plays. Simple enough, right? "Ready? Begin!" she calls, and the gut wrenching 'beep!' plays after. The kids awkwardly half jog to the other line, with about 3 or 4 seconds before the next beep. Each time the horrendous noise plays they run back and forth to the lines. "Level one, complete" she says, as to pat you on the back for what little victory you've achieved. Not bad, the kids think. But then comes level 2. level 3. With each interval the time between the beeps shorten, and you're running as fast as you can to the other line. Your foot hits it, you pivot, the beep plays, youre running again. Your lungs burn, your throat is sore, your heart is on the verge of an attack. No rest. No mercy. A girl is the first to crawl over to the instructor, defeated. Seeing one has fallen, other students begin to follow since "at least theyre not the first ones out". Clutching their chests they bail out of the test. One girls crying. You can't tell if the boy on the gym floor is alive or not. Three kids left for the water fountain and still havent made it back. And then, the fallen sit there, watching the myths, the legends, the kids who have made it past 100 laps. 120. 150. When they finally collapse a cheer erupts from the students. Theyre heroes. But the excitement only lasts for so long as the next round of nervous kids line up, who opted to go in the second wave and prolong their torture. The womans voice kicks back up. The beep plays. The cycle continues. This isn't even an exaggeration What the hell Pacer testadvice-animal.tumblr.com
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cosmic-noir: mostlyfeministthings: its-kesharose: #FreeKesha THERE’S A GOFUNDME TO BUY HER CONTRACT FROM SONYhttps://www.gofundme.com/freekesha YES! : Jade Hayden Follow @JadeHayden Her contract states she's to record six. more. albums. for the man who assaulted her. This is sick. #freekesha nydn.us/24@QALV Kesha sobs as judge denies contract injunction plea Kesha broke down in tears in Manhattan Friday when a judge denied her request for temporarily nullification of her Sony Records contract. nydailynews.com lily O @lilyallen Follow My thoughts are with @KeshaRose today. I'm sorry you've had to endure this experience. Ruth II NIALL PLS Follow @pop_ruth SHE JUST WANTED TO LEAVE SHE DIDNT ASK FOR HIM TO GO TO JAIL SHE JUST WANTED TO LEAVE #FreeKesha ac Follow @alessiacara really disappointing to hear about this kesha case. no one should be denied freedom from their abuser, nor freedom of their creativity. Lindsay Connally Follow @LindsayConnally It's interesting how all these celebrity feminists who use feminism to advance in their careers are quiet about #FreeKesha. Chlöe Howl Follow @ChloeHowl What Kesha is going through is an example of the law letting down abuse victims. I can't imagine what she's feeling right now. So sad. nat Follow @daggertattooH She isn't even asking for a punishment for the rapist but just wants to get out of the contract Seriously she deserves justice. #FreeKesha bea @BeaMiller Following the fact that kesha has to choose to either freely make music or avoid the person who abused her is outrageous and degrading cosmic-noir: mostlyfeministthings: its-kesharose: #FreeKesha THERE’S A GOFUNDME TO BUY HER CONTRACT FROM SONYhttps://www.gofundme.com/freekesha YES!

cosmic-noir: mostlyfeministthings: its-kesharose: #FreeKesha THERE’S A GOFUNDME TO BUY HER CONTRACT FROM SONYhttps://www.gofundme.com...

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pome-garnet: I realized that there are people who haven’t seen the amazing commentary within the notes of the Episodes advertisements on Tumblr Mobile so i had to change that  : My water broke. I'm NOT READY for this!! Bring on the baby! Hunny if your water broke you don't have a choice your either having the baby or it'll die #IM SCREAMIGN E BRINGONTHEBABY Well what are you gonna do if you're not ready, just shove it back and be like "nah I don't reall.. E I hate this What the hell is is shit?? "I'M NOT READY FOR THIS, CROSS YOUR LEGS, SHOVE IT BACK IN. ABORT! ABORT!" #what the hell #why = This is getting way to serious I don't think either of these faces look ready for a child. = yOU'VE HAD 9 MONTHS TO PREPARE that does not look like the face of a man who is ready to have a baby #aRE YOU FU CKING KIDDING ME Twins?!! More to lovell Do hospitals occept returns? E "Do the hospital accept returns" SAVAGE AF s the iv is connected to a wall im crying Why does that women look so good. She just shoved 2 screaming I stil hate this. = monsters from her birth canal and she's still got.. E Why are all of these about pregnancy what the fuck What the fuck is this #y8bt78y8yghj?? = WTF IS THISSsssssssssssss #HOYL SHTIT this is so stupid tho bc how would u not know if you were having twins???? like they both came out the vagina right???. #i can't stop laughing The iv or monitor or whatever it is isn't even connected to anything #i it's not doing anything This game just gets better and better #Imfao and can i return them both OMG, a heartbeat! I'm going to have a heart attack This is the best moment of my life > e What is this. What is this?????? E THESE ARE GETTING OUT OF HAND #fuck = JESUS FUCKING HELL SHES LIKE 17 WHAT THE FUCK #HELP E CONGRATULAYION you are give birth to SEVENTEEN FERRETS This shit is so hetenormative. I'm tired. E YOU CANT EVEN DO THIS IN EPISODES #l wish you can fuck and have babies Now's my chance! Head for the window! Attack! The ads for this game went from "aye just fucked a guy" to “just E what the fuck even is this game got fuckin kidnapped" what the... What the fuck don't turn a serious life threatening situation into a game scenario wtf is wrong with you e Stop the kink shaming 2K15 = Literally what the fuck is this I'm the burglar talking on the phone Why the fuck didnt he put her on a chair or something? "Im gonna kidnap her but i only will cuff her hands" Can I kinkshame this? WHAT HAPPENED TO THE FUN NIGHTS OUT AND #im gonna kinkshame = RELATIONSHIPS THIS GAME GOT INTENSE = What the fuc k is happening here omfg THESE KEEP GETTING BETTER OMFG WHAT THE FUCK YOU GET KIDNAPPED HOLY HELL I THOUGHT THIS WAS A TYPICAL COLLEGE EXPERIENCE LIKE WTF Ihope this baby will be. An amazing little girl A sweet little boy = I highly doubt the "virtual" newborn even knows what that is. = a demon E I hope this baby will be... A PlayStation The husband looks like a chipmunk OH BECAUSE GIRLS CAN'T BE SWEET AND BOYS CAN'T BE = AMAZING EPISODECHOOSEYOURSTORY DOES IT AGAIN E Skeletor GAWD GEEZ I keep getting ads for this game and they are increasingly disturbing e I thought it said "this baby will die" and i got concerned E no. stop. no sane person would get this and enjoy it. . Why is that guy dressed as Gaston? p sherman 42 wallaby way sydney i saw this on my dash and acTUALLY THOUGHT IT WAS SOME JOKE POST MAKING FUN OF BINARISM OMG Why does her face look like a foot How theFUCKdo I get these posts off my dash The Cishet culture is strong in this ad. I hope they will be the genderless spawn of Satan; an agender My eyes are burning demon to smite the creators of this game. get out of my homestead pome-garnet: I realized that there are people who haven’t seen the amazing commentary within the notes of the Episodes advertisements on Tumblr Mobile so i had to change that 
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tumblr rekt.omg-humor.tumblr.com: noiselesspatientspider: peaceful-moon: laughing-trees: In this African tribe, when someone does something harmful, they take the person to the center of the village where the whole tribe comes and surrounds them. For two days, they will say to the man all the good things that he has done. The tribe believes that each human being comes into the world as a good. Each one of us only desiring safety, love, peace and happiness. But sometimes, in the pursuit of these things, people make mistakes. The community sees those mistakes as a cry for help. They unite then to lift him, to reconnect him with his true nature, to remind him who he really is, until he fully remembers the truth of which he had been temporarily disconnected: "I am good." Shikoba Nabajyotisaikia! NABAJYOTISAIKIA, is a compliment used in South Africa and means: "I respect you, I cherish you. You matter to me." In response, people say SHIKOBA, which is: "So, I exist for you." :))) WHY ISN'T THIS A THING IN ALL CULTURES some day I'm going to create a bingo card for these kinds of posts. vague mention of "Africa" and "African tribe" with no actual names of tribes, countries, or languages, because Africa is a country and everyone there is exactly the same obv: check. picture of smiling/emotional black people taken completely out of context: check. made-up "African" words with deep meanings: check. "noble savage" grossness out the wazoo: check. this photo is a picture of Ghanaian boys playing soccer from Amen: Grassroots Football. Initial googling says that Shikoba means "feather" in Choctaw, which would mean OP isn't even on the right damn continent. (When I look at Choctaw-English dictionaries, though, shikoba doesn't show up at all; the word for feather seems to be "híshi." "Shikobli" is a verb meaning "to put on a plume" so maybe there's some conjugation or gerund going on here? l'd welcome any corrections from actual Choctaw speakers.) Nabajyoti Saikia is someone's name. OP just straight-up stole some poor Indian cement chemist's name for their colonialist hippie bullshit. Look at this dude. He didn't spend years of his life writing a goddamn textbook on waste management strategies so that you could use his name to prop up this crock of shit. He's disappointed in you. Do better. Nabajyoti Saikia BSc, MS, PhD Assistant Professor Kaziranga University - INFO CONTRIBUTIONS OVERVIEW tumblr rekt.omg-humor.tumblr.com
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