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Best Friend, Chill, and Confused: fire-is-her-water: abracataako: merak-zoran: fire-is-her-water: My doggo, Ezri, who rarely barks and mostly borks. When I got her, she’d been abused and would cower and pee at almost everything, and had been mistreated when she’d barked, so she never would. One day months after I had her she got excited on a walk and borked at a bird, and then immediately cower-peed. I had to re-teach her to bark by gathering her whole human pack and having everyone bark and howl and feed her treats and pet her till she got excited enough to join in, and then got more treats. Took a while but I was able to teach her to bork on command (and she’s gotta be excited or she just stares at me like “Sorry, the bork system needs charging”) and she’ll do it happily when she’s excited to go for a walk or upon seeing a friend, and at birds. I love her croaky borking, especially when she started off terrified of making a joyful noise. What kind of dog is Ezri? I love her!! I… did not expect this post to blow up this much but I am delighted at all the tags and replies and Ezri has been told the internet thinks she’s a Very Good Dog. :D She’s a German spitz - in the same family as keeshonds and pomeranians. She might be crossed with something else as her freckled coat, non-pointy nose, and personality are not standard for her breed (they’re usually a lot more high energy and excitable - she’s super laid back and chill). She’s a bit less fluffy than breed-standard too, mostly because she’s grown out from her spring/summer trim (not usually necessary/good for her type of coat but she gets terribly itchy otherwise). It also makes her look like a puppy of a large breed: Ezri’s best friend is Murder Cat, who is a gentle friend to humans and Ezri, but does things to mice that would make Hannibal Lecter go “Isn’t that a bit much?” I got Murder Cat as a kitten, and she used to try to nurse on everything when she was small. Eventually, she settled on her favourite thing to nurse on, Ezri, who has never had puppies and a little confused at first but eventually went with it. She grew out of it, but they have stayed snuggly buddies ever since. New Years here is full of fireworks outside and Ezri gets Vry Scared. I usually set her up somewhere with a snuggly spot right by me, and Murder Cat comes and does this all night:  She goes everywhere with me in my bakfiets (cargo bike) and lets me warm my hands in her fur on cold days. And her ears disappear if I say her name to get her attention. ok so great thanks for coming to my TED talk about my dog, good night, drive safe
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Apparently, Clothes, and Creepy: probablyhistoricalrpgideas bumblesee hamtastrophe it's sometimes hard to believe rasputin was real. like there's no non-fucked up part of rasputin's existence rollinbylimpbizkit did he do something problematic i thought he was just russia's greatest love machine the-itchy-bitchy-spider basic (true) story: fanatical russian monk who has almost never shaved or washed and smells like goats shows up at the russian capital with a creepy look on his beardy face and everyone just assumes he's a prophet or a saint because he's got a cult following that believes he can cure illnesses. his stans are sexually obsessed with him and he gets just a fuckton of russian pussy wherever he goes cause apparently he can cure his true believers of illness with god-given dick magic. russia's queen has him come stay at the palace and sets him up in luxury because she thinks he can cure her son's haemophilia with the power of russian goat jesus, and they (allegedly) become lovers, probably, 'cause she craves that unwashed goat-scented dick like the rest of his cult which she now (allegedly) belongs to then the worst assassins in the history of assassinations try to assassinate him, ause queen he has too much power over the royal family and it's helping revolutionaries tunn people against the royals. so these idiots have him round for tea and cakes which are poisoned with cyanide, but he-is-magieally unaf and he doesn't die, and then he drinks three glasses of wine, which are also poisoned, and he doesn't die, so they tell him to look at a cru- cifix and shoot him in the chest with a revolver when he isn't looking, and he doesn't die, but they think he's dead so one of them dresses in his clothes and gets driven to his apartment to make it look like he's gone home to hide the crime, and when they come back he gets up and attacks them, so they stab him in the side with a knife, and he doesn't die, and then he frees himself and runs outside, so they shoot him a few times more, including in the fore- head, and they wrap his body up and chuck him in the icy river, and he doesn't go into the water, so his body is found on the ice the next day. and get this he died.... of hypothermia they get the dose wrong tyrannosaurus-rex additionally, everyone who wasnt in the party of getting rid of rasputin was pretty bummed out when they found him and his miracle dick dead the next day and there was a pretty bangin funeral of which the royal family themselves attended. however after the tsar was overthrown a few month later they exhumed his body and burned it because the new leadership was very adamant about making sure there were no ties left to honor the old monarchy. however this dudes body had never been properly prepped for a cremation which meant that under the extreme heat his tendons and ligaments began to retract and shrink causing his dead body to move and twitch around as if still animate. according to some testimony his body actually sat up straight on the pyre, and at least one spectator fired a gun at the body and another may have allegedly died of shock. watercolor-gryphon Rasputin was an old god from times before humans mad-duck He is like a cleric gone wild godlessondheimite "did rasputin do something problematic" i am going to die Source: hamtastrophe 177,175 notes Russias Greatest Love Machine
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Birthday, Comfortable, and Dicks: Excuse generator Use your birthday to generate an excuse January February March April May June 16 I don't give a shit 17 I was drunk I'm sorry I'm soooo sorry Honestly... You know what? 1 I didn't feel like it 2 forgot 3 I rewatched GBBO 18 It was far too boring 19 I just found out l'm a ghost instead 4 I watched porn instead 20 My dong was too itchy 5 I do what I want Hey, fuck you buddy Don't look at me like that It won't happen again, but 21 I spent the night learning to 6 *points at crotch* 7 I have diarrhoea riverdance 22 It's none of your concern! ul 8 My fucking dog ate it 23 Your expectations are too high 9 Homework is for dicks 24 You're not the boss of me 10 It's none of your August Look me in the eye September You know why, Bob?! October For the last time November think you know December You wanna know why 25 I am filled with existential angst 26 I'm too cool for this shit. business. 11 I've been thinking a lot 27 My STls are acting up 28 My bed is too comfortable 29 Why don't you ask your mum about Brexit I didn't do your stupid 12 Yolo. Yolo 13 I'm not a dork 14 Shut up, that's why. 15 l have a life why I didn't do it? SM.S 30 It would have been shit anyway. 31 I didn't feel like doing something STUDENT MONEY SAVER dumb today queenof-theclouds14: late-to-everything: fatmomsgetfit: I think “Hey, fuck you, buddy. I spent the night learning to riverdance,” is going to be my go-to excuse for everything, now. –AW Hey, fuck you buddy. Shut up, that’s why. I am not this hostile what is this sorcery  You know what? I don’t give a shit You know what? I watched porn instead. is the most accurate fucking thing Ive ever gotten out of these things
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Bad, Butthurt, and Children: jini maxwell @astroblob 22h a lesbian couple i know just had a son redecorated accordingly Nailed it ALLOWED ALLO WED <p><a href="http://littlemisscancer.tumblr.com/post/175265567650/mogai-watch-the-boy-with-the-lolipops" class="tumblr_blog">littlemisscancer</a>:</p><blockquote> <p><a href="https://mogai-watch.tumblr.com/post/175261435951/the-boy-with-the-lolipops-lastsonlost" class="tumblr_blog">mogai-watch</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a href="https://the-boy-with-the-lolipops.tumblr.com/post/175176982662/lastsonlost-knightoflodis-lastsonlost" class="tumblr_blog">the-boy-with-the-lolipops</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a href="http://lastsonlost.tumblr.com/post/174827892597/knightoflodis-lastsonlost-cynfinnegan" class="tumblr_blog">lastsonlost</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a href="http://knightoflodis.tumblr.com/post/174827552187/lastsonlost-cynfinnegan-noelleian" class="tumblr_blog">knightoflodis</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a href="http://lastsonlost.tumblr.com/post/174823615357/cynfinnegan-noelleian-lastsonlost" class="tumblr_blog">lastsonlost</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a href="http://cynfinnegan.tumblr.com/post/174823494969/noelleian-lastsonlost-lastsonlost" class="tumblr_blog">cynfinnegan</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a href="http://noelleian.tumblr.com/post/174822914637/lastsonlost-lastsonlost" class="tumblr_blog">noelleian</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a href="http://lastsonlost.tumblr.com/post/174822642792/lastsonlost-ifyouaintdutch-youaintmuch" class="tumblr_blog">lastsonlost</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a href="http://lastsonlost.tumblr.com/post/174822419117/ifyouaintdutch-youaintmuch-princessmalice" class="tumblr_blog">lastsonlost</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a href="http://ifyouaintdutch-youaintmuch.tumblr.com/post/174777947695/princessmalice-loismacgiver" class="tumblr_blog">ifyouaintdutch-youaintmuch</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a href="https://princessmalice.tumblr.com/post/174421718474/loismacgiver-disgruntledseagull" class="tumblr_blog">princessmalice</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a href="http://loismacgiver.tumblr.com/post/174417882509/disgruntledseagull-the-itchy-bitchy-spider" class="tumblr_blog">loismacgiver</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a href="http://disgruntledseagull.tumblr.com/post/174352083545/the-itchy-bitchy-spider-how-would-you-imagine" class="tumblr_blog">disgruntledseagull</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a href="http://the-itchy-bitchy-spider.tumblr.com/post/174296991928" class="tumblr_blog">the-itchy-bitchy-spider</a>:</p> <blockquote><figure class="tmblr-full" data-orig-height="301" data-orig-width="680"><img src="https://78.media.tumblr.com/9c4f465079c5b42a7100f8567644261e/tumblr_inline_p9dohqaBtG1s9e9ut_540.png" data-orig-height="301" data-orig-width="680"/></figure></blockquote> <p>How would you imagine the one boy would feel, as time went by, and it became clearer and clearer that one boy allowed was not so much a joke as a policy? <br/></p> <p>I’ll just say it outright.</p> <p> People who live their lives according to ideologies or doctrines that see men as inferior or unwanted are unfit parents for boys(at least).</p> <p>Anyone who has legitimate leanings in that direction should strongly consider not raising sons at all, but giving them away to a circus or a monastery or anywhere else that they will be treated like an equal instead.<br/></p> </blockquote> <h2><b>yall heard of jokes</b></h2> </blockquote> <p>“giving them away to a circus or monastery”</p> <p>is disgruntledseagull aware that it is not the year 1870 and it is especially not the year 870<br/></p> </blockquote> <p>As a man hating lesbian, who is raising a boy, this butthurt comment really made me crack up. 😂</p> </blockquote> <figure class="tmblr-full" data-orig-height="594" data-orig-width="1358"><img src="https://78.media.tumblr.com/9f9117c365cd2babfe23aa74b4fb9a02/tumblr_inline_pa7vmdDrWB1sp5650_500.png" data-orig-height="594" data-orig-width="1358"/></figure><p>And this is why I feel bad for that child. You cannot build love on a foundation of hatred. I get that kid 3 years before something horrible happens.</p> <figure class="tmblr-full" data-orig-height="1423" data-orig-width="1416"><img src="https://78.media.tumblr.com/b89788ad350614398566572437adf0d6/tumblr_inline_pa7vmd7d831sp5650_500.png" data-orig-height="1423" data-orig-width="1416"/></figure><figure class="tmblr-full" data-orig-height="1287" data-orig-width="1431"><img src="https://78.media.tumblr.com/c73e72f7266adf709d6423d16a89682a/tumblr_inline_pa7vmdW1GQ1sp5650_500.png" data-orig-height="1287" data-orig-width="1431"/></figure><figure class="tmblr-full" data-orig-height="1536" data-orig-width="1393"><img src="https://78.media.tumblr.com/61f554eef8a366fe7c76290f182d0cc9/tumblr_inline_pa7vmcKO331sp5650_500.png" data-orig-height="1536" data-orig-width="1393"/></figure></blockquote> <p>Although I thought I made myself pretty clear I’m going to ask that those who don’t understand to perform a little social experiment. Ask a black person how do they feel when they’re told they’re one of the “ GOOD ONES.” Ask him how did he feel about the idea that you may hate their entire group but they’re the one exception.</p> <h2>Now try being that <b>ONE GOOD BOY while the rest of his gender is despised.</b> </h2> <p>I sincerely fear his parents are going to try to fix him as if he is a broken woman.</p> </blockquote> <blockquote><p><i> As a man hating lesbian, who is raising a boy </i><br/></p></blockquote> <h2>Y I K E S™</h2> </blockquote> <blockquote><p> <i>As a man hating lesbian, who is raising a boy <br/></i></p></blockquote> <p> I can imagine this poor boy is gonna be ten tons of fucked up in the head as he gets older.<br/></p> </blockquote> <p>I keep seeing the whole “getting older part” of wishful thinking. Somehow I don’t see him living long enough to grow into the thing they hate. Although that would imply that they don’t already hate them.</p> </blockquote> <p>Honestly, I see the joke in the original post. And it is a joke, as long as it was done in a tongue-in-cheek fashion where the original decorations are clearly a joke and a play on the classic “no boys/girls allowed” signs that we see children put up in media. Basically not something to be taken seriously. And that “man hating lesbian” part could also be a joke in a similar fashion, but I find that to be a harder sell because I have seen more bite and actually hatred behind that kind of label. </p> <p>I just hope the original couple is good natured and not actually prejudiced. </p> </blockquote> <p>One can only hope.</p> </blockquote> <p>‘As a man hating lesbian who is raising a boy’ </p> <p>Someone call the police and put that child in a safe place where is not with those two. </p> </blockquote> <p>Jesus god</p> </blockquote> <p style="">this thread is a trainwreck that i cannot keep my eyes off of.</p> </blockquote> <p>“Giving them away to a circus or monastery“ </p><p>???</p><p>“Sorry son but your mom and your other mom can’t bear to have penis in the house, so you’re off to live with the Carny folk“</p>
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Apparently, Clothes, and Creepy: hamtastrophe it's sometimes hard to believe rasputin was real. like theres no non-fucked up part of rasputin's existence rollinbylimpbizkit did he do something problematic i thought he was just russia's greatest love machine the-itchy-bitchy-spider basic (true) story: fanatical russian monlk who has almost never shaved or washed and smells like goats shos up at the russian capital with a creepy look on his beardy face and everyone just assumes he's a prophet or a saint because he's got a cult following that believes he can cure illnesses. his stans are sexually obsessed with him and he gets just a fuckton of russian pussy wherever he goes cause apparently he can cure his true believers of illness with god-given dick magic. russia's queen has him come stay at the palace and sets him up in luxury because she thinks he can cure her son's haemophilia with the power of russian goat jesus, and they (allegedly) become lovers, probably, 'cause she craves that unwashed goat-scented dick like the rest of his cult which she now (allegedly) belongs to. then the worst assassins in the history of assassinations try to assassinate him, ause queen he has too much power over the royal family and it's helping revolutionaries turn people against the royals. so these idiots have him round for tea and cakes which are poisoned with cyanide, but he is-magieally unaffeeted-by peisen they get the dose wrong and he doesn't die, and then he drinks three glasses of wine, which are also poisoned, and he doesn't die, so they tell him to look at a cru- cifix and shoot him in the chest with a revolver when he isn't looking, and he doesn't die, but they think he's dead so one of them dresses in his clothes and gets driven to his apartment to make it look like he's gone home to hide the crime, and when they come back he gets up and attacks them, so they stab him in the side with a knife, and he doesn't die, and then he frees himself and runs outside, so they shoot him a few times more, including in the fore head, and they wrap his body up and chuck him in the icy river, and he doesn't go into the water, so his body is found on the ice the next day. and get this.. he died.. of hypothermia. tyrannosaurus-rex additionally, everyone who wasnt in the party of getting rid of rasputin was pretty bummed out when they found him and his miracle dick dead the next day and there was a pretty bangin funeral of which the royal family themselves attended. however the tsar was overthrown a few month later after exhumed his body and burned it because the new leadership was very adamant about making sure there were no ties left to honor the old monarchy. however this dudes body had never been properly prepped for a cremation which meant that under the extreme heat his tendons and ligaments began to retract and shrink causing his dead body to move and twitch around as if still animate. according to some testimony his body actually sat up straight on the pyre, and at least one spectator fired a gun at the body and another may have allegedly died of shock. watercolor-gryphon Rasputin was an old god from times before humans mad-duck He is like a cleric gone wild unnatural-twenty Calling Rasputin a cleric is bard erasure, the dude seduced a monarch and then proceeded to pull off like 5 Nat 20's in a row. That's the most true to life bardic thing l've ever heard Source: hamtastrophe Rasputin
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Best Friend, Chill, and Confused: fire-is-her-water: abracataako: merak-zoran: fire-is-her-water: My doggo, Ezri, who rarely barks and mostly borks. When I got her, she’d been abused and would cower and pee at almost everything, and had been mistreated when she’d barked, so she never would. One day months after I had her she got excited on a walk and borked at a bird, and then immediately cower-peed. I had to re-teach her to bark by gathering her whole human pack and having everyone bark and howl and feed her treats and pet her till she got excited enough to join in, and then got more treats. Took a while but I was able to teach her to bork on command (and she’s gotta be excited or she just stares at me like “Sorry, the bork system needs charging”) and she’ll do it happily when she’s excited to go for a walk or upon seeing a friend, and at birds. I love her croaky borking, especially when she started off terrified of making a joyful noise. What kind of dog is Ezri? I love her!! I… did not expect this post to blow up this much but I am delighted at all the tags and replies and Ezri has been told the internet thinks she’s a Very Good Dog. :D She’s a German spitz - in the same family as keeshonds and pomeranians. She might be crossed with something else as her freckled coat, non-pointy nose, and personality are not standard for her breed (they’re usually a lot more high energy and excitable - she’s super laid back and chill). She’s a bit less fluffy than breed-standard too, mostly because she’s grown out from her spring/summer trim (not usually necessary/good for her type of coat but she gets terribly itchy otherwise). It also makes her look like a puppy of a large breed: Ezri’s best friend is Murder Cat, who is a gentle friend to humans and Ezri, but does things to mice that would make Hannibal Lecter go “Isn’t that a bit much?” I got Murder Cat as a kitten, and she used to try to nurse on everything when she was small. Eventually, she settled on her favourite thing to nurse on, Ezri, who has never had puppies and a little confused at first but eventually went with it. She grew out of it, but they have stayed snuggly buddies ever since. New Years here is full of fireworks outside and Ezri gets Vry Scared. I usually set her up somewhere with a snuggly spot right by me, and Murder Cat comes and does this all night:  She goes everywhere with me in my bakfiets (cargo bike) and lets me warm my hands in her fur on cold days. And her ears disappear if I say her name to get her attention. ok so great thanks for coming to my TED talk about my dog, good night, drive safe
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Another One, Bad, and Beef: work theater ab a movie and when sklnny biEches order diet, coke.laive them regular. Wahahahaha pomrania: fibrochemist: iambloggingthat: tired-philosopher: prismatic-bell: trickstersgambit: greenteamoon: 40yodater: fiaspice: carnistprivilege: evilythedwarf: untapdtreasure: willowfae82: minnigem: iopele: obstinate-nocturna: sailornightfury: toboldlygowherethewinchestersare: classykatelyn: housebuiltbyghosts: kimchicutie: acorn-burglar: theforcekeepers: DO NOT DO THIS. This makes me so angry. If you work in a movie theater and you do this I have no respect for you. My younger brother is Type 1 Diabetic. When we go to a movie theater, we always get him diet soda. If he were to get regular when we asked for diet, we would not give him the insulin he would need for it. If that happens, his blood sugar level could go so high he could go into a coma, go blind, or even die. If somebody gave him regular soda instead of diet without telling us, that person could be responsible for a nine-year-old being killed or blinded. Just thinking about that makes me so angry. I get scared every time we take him to a movie in case the people working there saw this picture and decide to do the same thing. Please signal boost this so people know. This also applies to baristas Fun story about the baristas doing this kind of shit.  I am very sensitive to lactose, not Lactose intolerant but because of stomach ulcers that are still healing. A couple years ago I went to Starbucks right after my classes with some friends and asked for a green tea latte with soy milk. The barista, for some reason out of malice and/or hate for her life so she took it out on me, gave me whole milk in my latte. 5 minutes after my first sip of latte, my stomach cramped BAD. Not the “Oh! time to poop!” kind of cramp but it felt like someone had stabbed me with a knife and twisted it. Now I’ve had this happen before so I knew the cause of it. I went up to the barista clutching my gut screaming at her that she put dairy in my latte rather than soy LIKE I REQUESTED. She denied it and called me a “pretentious white girl for wanting soy”and so my friends got the manager. I had to explain that I had stomach ulcers that were still healing and if I were to go to the hospital for this incident, they would be responsible for it. Manager flipped his shit and the barista was terrified out of her mind. Pretty sure both thought i was gonna sue. Manager actually fired her on the spot because of the negligence. My friends managed to get me home in one piece while I stayed home for 3 days in absolute agony and missed my midterm. So remember kiddies, if someone is asking for Diet or “Skinny” or “soy” or anything that is not regular, give them what they requested because it may not be them being healthy, but a dietary need that can possibly be life or death also if they ARE trying to be healthy you should give it to them to!! Its not your decision to police or question others food choices!!!  also im lactose intolerant AND ive had stomach infections/ulcers so i feel this.  I have Celiac Disease, so I’m very gluten intolerant. When I go out to eat at restaurants a lot of people just assume that I asked for my food gluten free because of the gluten free diet fad (which is usually a bullshit diet btw).  Last month I went out to dinner with a friend at an italian restaurant that had a small gluten free menu. I had been there once before and had their gluten free pasta and it was great! I think one of the managers had been there and was super helpful when taking my order to make sure that everything was gluten free for me. When I ordered the gluten free pasta again this time though, the waitress who took my order all but rolled her eyes at me. I didn’t think much of it at the time, because the restaurant was so accommodating before, I just assumed it would be the same this time. But sure enough, they brought out my pasta, I ate it, and about an hour later I had extreme stomach pains and was throwing up (in a movie theater no less). Barfing and agonizing pain aside, eating gluten when you have celiac causes a lot of internal damage that’s hard to notice. The biggest thing is that it damages your intestines, preventing your body from absorbing nutrients properly, which can take months to heal. So PLEASE, if you work at a restaurant or anything with food and someone asks for something a certain way, please listen to them and don’t just disregard someone’s order. It’s not funny and it can have serious consequences. I will reblog this with every single story about someone getting sick because of an asshole giving them the opposite of what they ordered until it sinks in for everyone. Recently on the news a 16 year old boy with a dairy allergy had gone to eat at IHOP with his family. The specifically asked if they could make dairy free pancakes and they said yes. Not too long after he had a reaction and was rushed to the hospital. This kid died because the was dairy in his pancakes that they asked for no dairy. His epi pen that his mother had wasn’t enough to help him. I know working in fast food or any job that’s serves food and beverage sucks but not as much as causing someone to get sick over negligence. My youngest cousin – who is now five, he just started kindergarten – has Celiac’s disease. You would not BELEIVE the amount of times I’ve heard my aunt say she’s ordered something gluten free, only to watch the waiter or waitress’s eyes go huge when she gives it to my cousin – my cousin with the medical id band on his tiny five year old wrist proclaiming I HAVE CELIACS and have to take it back.Shit like this could kill my cousin. Knock it the fuck off. I cannot tolerate caffeine–it makes me have chest pain and a racing pulse, and also gives me horrible body pain, so I always ask for decaf if I order coffee when I’m out, and doublecheck with the waiter/ress when they bring it. but instead of saying “is this decaf like I asked for?” I always say “oh, did I remember to order decaf?” I shouldn’t have to act like I’m the forgetful one (because I know damn well I asked for decaf) but it seems to work better than implying that they screwed up when I take the blame on myself like that. and if there’s any hesitation when they answer, I tell them, “if there’s any doubt, please get another one, or just give me water–if this is regular, it’ll mess up my heart” and lots of times when I say that, they look alarmed and go change it or get another one.  but I shouldn’t HAVE to share my personal medical history with strangers just to get my order right! no one should! how is it their business? it makes me really uncomfortable to have to do that. JUST GIVE PEOPLE WHAT THEY ORDER! I’ve reblogged this maaaany times before but there’s a few new stories on here so i’m doing it again. cut this shit out don’t be that kind of asshole. As a diabetic, this would make me so beyond angry. Skinny doesn’t mean they don’t have a life threatening illness. Skinny doesn’t mean they can process sugar the way you do. People that do this are the worst kinds of people. DO NOT DO THIS! Me and my family went to a restaurant a few years back and one of the dishes we ordered was made with wine vinegar, which I am allergic to, so we asked the waiter to skip it, and he said sure, no problem, that’s fine.So my food gets to the table, and I start eating and then my throat closes and I can’t breathe and then I start coughing and throwing up right there in the middle of the restaurant and it was very fortunate that I was with my family and they knew what was happening to me. I had to be rushed to the hospital, and admitted, and I came damn near close to having my throat cut open so I could breathe through a whole on my neck. Because they put wine vinegar in my food when I explicitly told them not to, because they were assholes, and I could have died.They probably didn’t mean to hurt me but they did. I missed class, and work, and, again, I COULD HAVE DIED. i have cyclic vomiting syndrome and can’t tolerate dairy or red meat. violating my dietary restrictions triggers an acute episode, and i have to be hospitalized and given iv saline, ativan, and anti-emetics to stop the (extremely painful and incapacitating) vomiting. if somebody put regular milk instead of soy milk in my latte and i didn’t notice the taste immediately, i could wind up in the er and then spend several days in bed recovering, eating nothing but saltines and dry toast and clear liquids until my body was able to tolerate food again, unable to work or go out or do anything besides rest. whenever i go to starbucks, i WATCH them make my drink. cvs episodes are horrible and i hate them, and i can prevent them if i do everything right, but that means my damn barista has to cooperate. if somebody decided i was a stuck up white girl and gave me whole milk instead of soy they could put me in the hospital and cost me days of income. give ppl the food they fuckin order. it’s not that hard. Reblogging because it’s so important. I’m “lucky” I don’t have any food allergies or intolerence, but it makes me mad when people take them not seriously, think you are picky or just following a “white girl diet fad”. 90% of people don’t take my cats and dog allergies seriously when I tell them I’m allergic and wondering if a cat or a dog is present at X place. They think it’s just watery eyes. Nope. Well yeah, watery and itchy eyes, but I start wo wheeze and have trouble breathing. They don’t give epi-pen for those (anyway you have to go to the hospital after) just inhaler. It’s no miracle, specially if I didn’t take other meds before. When people tell you about their allergies or restriction, trust them! Reblogging for all the stories here because this is sooo important!  I have a severe allergy to gluten and relate to MANY of the stories above. My daughter has a severe allergy to milk fat, and I have had to hold her hair many times while she vomits on the side of the road because we couldn’t even make it home from the “accidental” whole milk instead of skim.  I’m super lactose intolerant so accidental milk is always fun. Severe diarrhea, stomach cramps, bloating, and gas like you wouldn’t believe. Better than death you might say but, I have other medical conditions, so that diarrhea could lead to vomiting(it’s so bad the vomit comes out my mouth AND nose) and dehydration that in turn becomes low cortisol and adrenal crisis. A bitchy barista can land me in the hospital with an intramuscular shot and saline iv. Hun, it takes no time to listen and follow my order. It takes me at least 24 hours to get out of the hospital. Be nice. I’m allergic to pork. Legit allergic. I can’t count how many times I’ve had to ask it off my food only to receive it with bacon or ham or something on it. Please respect peoples food requests. It costs 0.00$ to not be a dick. I actually have customers who say they’ll only eat at my restaurant when I’m there, because they know I require all policy to be followed, as in “I will kick you the fuck off your shift if you skimp,” if someone says the words “I have an allergy.” I developed our allergy policies, for that matter, because what we had in place before was “I guess you shouldn’t change your gloves … . ?” On my shifts your gloves get changed, that line gets wiped down with a new cloth, paper under EVERY ITEM for the person with the allergy, bag their food separately to prevent contact. If there’s a risk of cross-contamination with an allergen, like tomatoes in the guac because stuff spills when you’re moving as fast as we do, I’ll open a new bag of food. I learned the ingredients in every item we serve so I could advise people on hidden allergens (e.g., there’s a small amount of wheat in our beef as a thickener; we fry with safflower oil). We have a grease pencil to mark special builds and I use it liberally on allergy orders. If all of this sounds like overkill, you’ve never watched a child suffer from anaphylaxis. I don’t play around. Like, I bitch about my job a lot, but food allergies and special needs are not something I will ever bitch about. Even if you’re a complete asshole I won’t risk contaminating your food. (Although people with allergies seem to be way nicer than the general population, I gotta say.) Don’t do it. If someone’s a petty asshole to you, give them too much ice in their drink. Don’t play with their health. DO NOT FUCKING SCROLL PAST THIS P L E A S E Reblogging this again because it is important. Doing the right thing has no cost but doing the wrong thing can cost a person’s life. Don’t be a dick, give the person what they ordered This is why turning legitimate illness into fad is stupid! You’re fucking killing people. Just don’t be a dick. Seriously, if you hate a customer, just badmouth them once they’re gone, or give them the finger under the counter; you’ll get just as much satisfaction, and you won’t run the risk of accidentally killing someone.
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Apparently, Clothes, and Creepy: hamtastrophe it's sometimes hard to believe rasputin was real. like there's no non-fucked up part of rasputin's existence rollinbylimpbizkit did he do something problematic i thought he was just russia's greatest love machine the-itchy-bitchy-spider basic (true) story: fanatical russian monk who has almost never shaved or washed and smells like goats shows up at the russian capital with a creepy look on his beardy face and everyone just assumes he's a prophet or a saint because he's got a cult following that believes he can cure illnesses. his stans are sexually obsessed with him and he gets just a fuckton of russian pussy wherever he goes cause apparently he can cure his true believers of illness with god-given dick magic. russia's queen has him come stay at the palace and sets him up in luxury because she thinks he can cure her son's haemophilia with the power of russian goat jesus, and they (allegedly) become lovers, probably, 'cause she craves that unwashed goat-scented dick like the rest of his cult which she now (allegedly) belongs to then the worst assassins in the history of as- sassinations try to assassinate him, because he has too much power over the royal family and it's helping revolutionaries turn people against the royals. so these idiots have him round for tea and cakes which are poisoned with cyanide, but sen they get the dose wrong and he doesn't die, and then he drinks three glasses of wine, which are also poisoned, and he doesn't die, so they tell him to look at a crucifix and shoot him in the chest with a revolver when he isn't looking, and he doesn't die, but they think hes dead so one of them dresses in his clothes and gets driven to his apartment to make it look like he's gone home to hide the crime, and when they come back he gets up and attacks them, so they stab him in the side with a knife, and he doesn't die, and then he frees himself and runs outside, so they shoot him a few times more, including in the forehead, and they wrap his body up and chuck him in the icy river, and he doesn't go into the water, so his body is found on the ice the next day. and get this. .he died... f hypothermia Source: hamtastrophe One of the first Russian Chaos Agents, Rasputin
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