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epicjohndoe: Wise Words From A Smart Teacher: An Econ Teacher Gave His Senior Highschool Students His Personal List Of Wisest Words..And They Make A Lot Of Sense. 1 There are plenty of ways to enter a pool The stairs is not one of them 2 Never cancel dinner plans by text message. 3. Don't knock it till you try it 4. a stree performer makes you stop walking, you owe him a buck 5 Always use we when referring to your home 6. When entrusted with a secret, keep it. 7. Don't underestimate free throws in a game of HORSE. 8 lust because you can doesn't mean you should 9. Don't dumb yourself down. 10 You only get one chance to notice new hairout. 11 If you're staying more than one night, unpack 12. Never park in front of a bar 13. Expect the seat in front of you to redine. Prepare 14. Keep a picture of your first fish, first cer, and first 15. Hold your heroes to a high standard. 17 Never lie to your doctor 18 All guns are 19. Don't mention sunburns. Believe me, they know. 20. The best way to show thanks is to wear it Even if it's only once. 21 Take and TV once vacation of your cell phone, internet, year 22. Don't fill up on bread, no matter how good. 24 Don't linger in the doorway. in or out 25. If you choose to go in drag, don't sell yourself short. 26. If you want to know what makes you unique, sit for 27 Never get your haircut the day of a special 28 Be mindful of what comes between you and the Earth Ahways buy good shoes, tires and sheets. 29. Never eat unch at your desk If you can avoid it 30. When you're with new friends, don't just tak 31. Eat unch with the new kids 32. When traveling, keep your wits about you No 33. It's never too late for an apology. 34. Don't pose wth boore. It's unbecoming. 5. If you have the right of way, TAKE IT 36. You don't get to choose your own nickname. 37, When you marry someone, remember you marry 39. Under nocrcumstances should you ask ง woman 40. it'snot enough to be proud of your ancestry, ive up to t 41. Don't make a 42. When giving a thank you speech, short and sweet 44. Never glost 46. Make time for your mother on your birthday. It'sa special day for her too 47. When opening presents, no one lices &a good guesver 48. Sympathy Is a crutch Never take ล limp. 49, Give credit, Take biame 50. Suck it up every now and then. 51. Never be the last one in the pool 52. Don't stare. 53. Address everyone that carries a firearm 54. Stand up to bulies, You only have to do it once. 55. fyoul've made your point, stop talking 56. Admit it when you're wrong 7. it you offer to help don't quit until the job is done 58. Look people in the eye when you thank them 60. Never answer the phone at the dinner table. 61. Forgive yoursef for your mistakes. 62. Know at least one good joke. 63. Don't boo Even the ref is somebody's son one good meal 65, Leam to drive manual/stick shift. 66. Be cool to yourger kids. Reputations are built over 67. It's okay to po to the movies by yourself 68. Dance with your mother/Tather 69. Don't lose your cool. Especialy at work 0. Always thank the host 71. It you don't understand, ask before it's too late. 72. Know the size of your boyfriend girtriend's 73 There is nothing wrong with a plain t shirt. 74. De a good ästener. Don't just take your turn to 5. eep your word, 76. In colege always sit near the front. You'll stand our immediately and come grade time it will oome in handy. 7. Carry your mother's begs, She carried you for 9 78. Be pacient with arport security. They are just 79. Don't be the talker in a movie. 80. The oppesite svex ikes people who shower. 81. You are what you da. Nat what you say 82. Learn to change tire 83. Be kind Everyone has a hard fight ahead 84. An hour with grandparents is time we spent. Ask for advice when you need it Don't itter 86, tf you have ฮ sister, get to know her 87. You won't always be the strongest or fastest. But you can't be the toughest 89. Duy the orange properties in Monopoly 90. Make the littie things count. 91 92. There is a fine line between loaking suitry and slutty. Find it 93. 94. You're never too old to need your Mom. Ladies, 2 you make the decision to wee hees on the first dste commit to keeping them on and keeping your trap shut about how much your feet kil 96. Your dance moves might not be the best. but i promise making a fool of yourself is more fun than sitting on the bench alone 99. Being old is not dictated by your bedtime 100. If you HAVE to fight, punch first and punch hard. epicjohndoe: Wise Words From A Smart Teacher
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srsfunny:This Employee From Groupon Is A Genius: We're oontractually obligated to lat you know every time the Banana Bunker is featured on our ste.httpo/gr.pn/1NeSOlt Like 2,588 people like this You know what that looks Ike dont you haha. Like a sound investment, Ken! 3 minut 3g My friend said her banana was too curvyis this the only shape it comes in? is it a flexible container? Hahal Groupon The soft plastic reservoir, located in the midcle is able to expand and twist to suit all bananas Thanks for asking What if our bananas are to big?? I can imagine the face on the teachers when my child puls this out of his lunch bag 7 ho mago. Edted Lke 310 Reply That face of an education professional who is happy to see their student is eating well and also taking responsible steps to make sure that their snack fruits are as fresh and unbruised as they were when picked in South or Central What is the effective rate when used correctly 8 hours ago uke山11 nephy 99.9% banana protection, of course! No one can be perfect hours ago Like 6 999% reliable? But what is the plan b? Plan B for Plan Banana for long) is that you risk axposing your banana to the elements. Any responsible snack fruit fan knows better than that. And to think I've been unprotected this whole hour ago Lie 0-Reply Groupon It's never too late to start, Courtney! This has got to be an early April fools joke!! hours ag Like 15 Raply No chance, Heather! Protection is no joke (for your bananal s this ribbed for the bananas pleasure? That's a complicated question, Heather Bananas dont exactly feel" Ske we humans do, but our scientists estimate that they heaviy anjay the comfort of the banana bunker Rbbed for her.., NM hours ag Like 13 Rply -.more sizeable bananas! hours ago e 51 Danica Overly ribbed! Looks painful hours ago e 26 Reply Sorry for any confusion! You' remove that part ot the bunker (as well as the skin of the banana) Looks like it has double duty to ma Yescan also be used tor smal cucumbers or very wide carrots hours ago Le s that a Banana Bunker in your pocket or are you just happy to see me? Groupon Why not both?: A well-protected snack is a good present for a great friend. 9 hours ago Lik 6-Roply We just checked, and it tastes like plastic 0 Lke 79 Tricia So does this banana bunker only house one banana or can you put two slim bananas in Groupon C It just depends on what size and type of banana, Tricial Latundan bananas are an excellent example of a smaller,but equally delicious always worried about the size of the banana it's the quality not the quantity that counts right groupon! Some think two is better than one. These comments have me WEAK hours ago Like 56 Reply Groupon Sounds like you could use some more Potassium in your diet! 7 hours ago Like 244 Ryneu 7 hours ago Like 4 I love you, Groupon employee 7 hours ago Like 61 srsfunny:This Employee From Groupon Is A Genius

srsfunny:This Employee From Groupon Is A Genius

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<p><a href="https://tenderuk.tumblr.com/post/157073205204/stickit" class="tumblr_blog">tenderuk</a>:</p> <blockquote><p>#StickIt</p></blockquote> <p>*cracks knuckles*</p><p>I don’t know why ya’ll keep trying to play this game, but fine, let’s play:</p><p>From left to right</p><p>Jasmine- Got tired of her palace life and took control by disguising herself and running away to spend a day in the markets. Openly expressed her contempt for the idea being married off without her consent. Was initially disinterested in Aladdin because she thought he was just another arrogant prince. Fell in love with him for his heart to the point that his pauper origins didn’t matter to her.</p><p>Rapunzel- Wanted celebrate to her birthday by not being imprisoned for once, nothing to do with a man. In fact when a man broke into her home she swiftly knocked him out and tied him up. That man ended up loving her so much he was willing to die for her and her passionate love brought him back to life.</p><p>Snow White- Was a young girl being chased around by crazy old lady who was angry that she was pretty. Ended up negotiating her safety with some dwarves by offering her services as a cook and housekeeper in exchange for room and board. Was only “waiting“ for a man in that she was literally unconscious after being poisoned by a witch and a kiss was the only thing they could save her.</p><p>Mulan- Are you fucking serious? What about her story is her waiting for a man to save her? She literally saved her father, her love interest, and then her whole damn country. You could not have watched two seconds of that film and come away thinking she was waiting for man to save her.</p><p>Aurora- She was a 16-year-old girl forced to live in seclusion her whole life. Sue her for daydreaming a bit about romance. She still showed kindness to animals and loved her adoptive caregivers and was fairly content with her life. Definitely not pining away for a man every second.</p><p>Cinderella- Cinderella probably gets the the worst of being dragged through the mud by Edgy™ feminists trying to make a point. Literally she never asked for a prince to save her. She didn’t even really complain much about being forced into slavery by her evil family. She just wanted one damn night off and meeting the prince was ancillary. And in fact the person who first shows her kindness and empowers her to achieve her goals is another woman.</p><p>Pocahontas- Again now you’re just making shit up. She was not waiting for prince, in fact she was bored at the prospect of living an ordinary home life and disinterested in marrying the handsome warrior her father had set up for her. She ends up striking up a friendship with someone her entire tribe hates and distrusts, up to and including saving HIM from being murdered.</p><p>Tiana- You are not ABOUT to do my girl Tiana dirty like this. She worked her ass off to achieve her dream of being an independent restaurant owner, something practically unheard of for a young black woman in the 20s. Romance was the absolute LAST thing on her mind and again, her actions were fundamental in saving the life of the prince.</p><p>Belle- Again, she wasn’t interested in the big strong handsome man that everyone was saying she should be interested in. Because she saw past looks and recognized that he was a sexist and generally unpleasant person. It was her willingness to see past the exterior that saved Prince Adam.</p><p>Ariel- She wanted to be a human before she knew about Eric. She saved him from drowning. She defied her father the KING in a fight for her own independence. But sure she was waiting around for man.</p><p>Merida- Merida didn’t even have a love interest and the entire film was built around a rejection of that premise. This one is barely worth the time to acknowledge.</p><p>Tl;Dr: Your weak edgelord attempt to discredit Disney princesses and make girls feel shitty for enjoying them is bad and you should feel bad.</p>: Because it's never too Late to teach girns to silently wait for a man to help them... <p><a href="https://tenderuk.tumblr.com/post/157073205204/stickit" class="tumblr_blog">tenderuk</a>:</p> <blockquote><p>#StickIt</p></blockquote> <p>*cracks knuckles*</p><p>I don’t know why ya’ll keep trying to play this game, but fine, let’s play:</p><p>From left to right</p><p>Jasmine- Got tired of her palace life and took control by disguising herself and running away to spend a day in the markets. Openly expressed her contempt for the idea being married off without her consent. Was initially disinterested in Aladdin because she thought he was just another arrogant prince. Fell in love with him for his heart to the point that his pauper origins didn’t matter to her.</p><p>Rapunzel- Wanted celebrate to her birthday by not being imprisoned for once, nothing to do with a man. In fact when a man broke into her home she swiftly knocked him out and tied him up. That man ended up loving her so much he was willing to die for her and her passionate love brought him back to life.</p><p>Snow White- Was a young girl being chased around by crazy old lady who was angry that she was pretty. Ended up negotiating her safety with some dwarves by offering her services as a cook and housekeeper in exchange for room and board. Was only “waiting“ for a man in that she was literally unconscious after being poisoned by a witch and a kiss was the only thing they could save her.</p><p>Mulan- Are you fucking serious? What about her story is her waiting for a man to save her? She literally saved her father, her love interest, and then her whole damn country. You could not have watched two seconds of that film and come away thinking she was waiting for man to save her.</p><p>Aurora- She was a 16-year-old girl forced to live in seclusion her whole life. Sue her for daydreaming a bit about romance. She still showed kindness to animals and loved her adoptive caregivers and was fairly content with her life. Definitely not pining away for a man every second.</p><p>Cinderella- Cinderella probably gets the the worst of being dragged through the mud by Edgy™ feminists trying to make a point. Literally she never asked for a prince to save her. She didn’t even really complain much about being forced into slavery by her evil family. She just wanted one damn night off and meeting the prince was ancillary. And in fact the person who first shows her kindness and empowers her to achieve her goals is another woman.</p><p>Pocahontas- Again now you’re just making shit up. She was not waiting for prince, in fact she was bored at the prospect of living an ordinary home life and disinterested in marrying the handsome warrior her father had set up for her. She ends up striking up a friendship with someone her entire tribe hates and distrusts, up to and including saving HIM from being murdered.</p><p>Tiana- You are not ABOUT to do my girl Tiana dirty like this. She worked her ass off to achieve her dream of being an independent restaurant owner, something practically unheard of for a young black woman in the 20s. Romance was the absolute LAST thing on her mind and again, her actions were fundamental in saving the life of the prince.</p><p>Belle- Again, she wasn’t interested in the big strong handsome man that everyone was saying she should be interested in. Because she saw past looks and recognized that he was a sexist and generally unpleasant person. It was her willingness to see past the exterior that saved Prince Adam.</p><p>Ariel- She wanted to be a human before she knew about Eric. She saved him from drowning. She defied her father the KING in a fight for her own independence. But sure she was waiting around for man.</p><p>Merida- Merida didn’t even have a love interest and the entire film was built around a rejection of that premise. This one is barely worth the time to acknowledge.</p><p>Tl;Dr: Your weak edgelord attempt to discredit Disney princesses and make girls feel shitty for enjoying them is bad and you should feel bad.</p>
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