no
 no

no

too
too

too

rationalization
rationalization

rationalization

ons
ons

ons

personable
personable

personable

bos
bos

bos

loves
loves

loves

genuinely
genuinely

genuinely

throwing
throwing

throwing

kidding
kidding

kidding

🔥 | Latest

Being Alone, Apparently, and Drunk: File: 1394635459916 ing-(1.72 MB, 2100x1500, 1394400938845 jpg) O Saigallarine lgy f0y2Rq 03/12/14(Wed09 44 UTC-5 No 20367891 Reples k/ Has aquired a Nitmitz Class Carrier what do we fill it with and what do we do with it? >daily gun 2036790 20367巡>>20367967M2 367996m2 368229-20368352-20368384 Anonymous 03/12/14(Wed)09:46 UTC-5 No 20367902 Reples 쯔20367920,-2036793?-20367976 Well we better pray that at least a handful of /kommandos have leamed to operate and service a nuclear reactor while watching uppote in their moms Anonymous 03/12/14(Ned)10:41 UTC-5 No. 20368263 Replies ,-20368225,-20388314쯔 The /k/arrier 1 part Snow Crash raft part Fuck yeah Sealand 3 parts lets shoot some pirates 1 part 'who put this kiddie 2 parts why are the walls of the officer's mess covered in spraypaint and semen 3 parts why didnt anyone bring qt3 the fight deck GFs 対he/krew are restless It has been three days since we last sank a somali pirate foat la and we've been banned from making port-of-call in Madagascar, India, and the Seychelles Islands after our recent debaucherous visits there that left walls full of ND'd bullet holes and every prostitute within 20 miles of port seeking deportation or retirement 3As the Λ /aptain, I'm also concerned because our XO has recently fabricated a / it out of loaded Nugget food str pper clips and wears nothing else. The XO has also taken to defecating on the fight deck and smearing his feces into pictures of boobs, penises, or firearms The /krew are equally disturbed, I have taken reports from section chiefs that some of the enlisted sailors have begun wearing nothing but war paint, and entertain themselves by attaching unused machinery to the steam catapult just to launch it off of the flight deck Anonymous 03/12/14(Wed)11:45 UTC-5 No.20368806 Repies: 220388840 2 20388844 both /k/aptains log, the Our unruly /'rew is beginning to work as a team. Aside from a few accidental deaths from misuse of the steam catapult, and falling off the flight deck while drunk, operations are relatively safe and Earlier this week, in the interest of acquiring more ull retard A Cs to enjoy. we hosted his em nent excellence Kim Jong-. on the /ka er His entourage included many military and scence o cers that were interested in /karrier operations, and wanted a full spec sheet & the opportunity for further study, in the hopes of reverse-engineering our beloved ship On day two, after a p ate meeting with our stil /kilt wear ng XO, tree MI 12's ful of best Korean qt3 14's were greeted on the flight deck. The entire /krew aside from a skeleton element requ ed for continung ops were treated to a very nice, impressively choreographed qt3.14 drill &ceremony performance >Unfortunately, while we secured 6 full armed Hind-D's and 5500 Kalashnikovs and 500,000 rounds of ammunition, keeping the qt3.14's would have required hosting Kim-Jong l permanently to get him away from his fat prick with missiles' son, Kim Jong Un. He intends to fake his death, apparently Anonymous 03/12/14(Wed)11:50 UTC-5 No.20368853 Repies: 220388912 220388913 >Operation /k/rusade is in full swing. With the air support spearheaded by the Hind-D gunships& other improvised 'air technicaf Helicopters (which includes a Shithook, in which our weapons officer somehow found a way to safely mount a short barreled 105mm howitzer, with twin MK19's on either side as door guns. This shithook unsurprising has the callsign da kkia we have enjoyed considerable success establishing a beachhead and maintaining air superionity over the various skinnies, bhats, and whatever else continue to harass & pirate in the region. Recovering any trophies or artifa/k/ts from the Black Hawk Down incident is also of considerable interest and our second-line ground teams have weaponeer detachments to recover & salvage any technicals and support arms Anonymous 03/12/14(Wed)11:57 UTC-5 No.20368912 265 > peration Λ1r sade has been a resounding success All operational prate skiffs & ships have either been captured or scuttled, and the military infrastructure and warlord elements the port coast of Somalia have been decimated. we e established a landside base with a Λ/ontingen to maintain port security & act as a new base o operations. W thin a couple weeks I hope to gradually increase the /k/ontingent on land, but that will depend on their ability to stop taking pictures and making a meme competition for jungle tits' and 'national geographic titties' that apparently abound absolutely unrestrained in the fegion re placed our senior Russian ex-pat, Major han Chesnekov, n Λ/ommand of the Λ/ontingent as his seaside manner has detenorated greatly and his typically-coherent rantings against the desecration of Russian & warsaw-pact firearms frequently tum into Russian-accented incoherent screaming in high seas, or whenever his shipboard Vodka still mailifunctions or produces a questionable batch of hooch. Ive ordered the still moved landside as a resul Anonymous 03/12/14(Wed)12:07 UTC-5 No.20369012 289 >/k/aptains log, the Following the repeated AAR's on Operation /k/rusade, our higher leadership meeting, at the drunken insistence of our XO, expanded to include outlining a plan for, as the XO inimitably put it, a "PHASE MOTHERFUCKING DEUCE" to Operation /krusade >Several potential targets & AO's were discussed, but leading our prospects of both the opportunity for unmitigated violence and visiting said violence upon the most deserving examples of humanity ran prevailed as the leading choice over Los Angeles in a heated debate > e sail for the Persian Gulf after Vodka supplies are reple shed onboard, and we get our new y acq red Typhoon class Submarine Λ1nstened and fully 0 erational to serve as a on ard observer or The /k/rew's moral could not be higher, as following the successful Operation/k/rusade, a nightly /karaoke competition in the main mess hall has gained a great deal of populanity, though the Seet- wide broadcast of the / araoke contest resulted in numerous and suspiciously deliberate a its found in shipboard PA's after a South /korean gunner's mate performed a rendition of Manah karey's Anonymous 03/12/14(Wed)12:18 UTC-5 No 20369097 >/kaptains log, the Λ/arner, day 291 /k/orrection to day 289's entry: I suspiciously used the word 'moral accidentally instead of moralle. Not sure if spellcheck accident, and not sure if my PC's becoming ironicaly self-aware >Morals, as an overall concept, are quite nebulous within the fleet and even onboard the /k/arnier. I hear reports from section chiefs where /k/rew will come to blows (as in the swinging fists kind, not the applied with lips and vacuum kind) when debating whether or not the traps among the /k/rew are the better lays' than the trans members of the /k/rew. Strangely, the inclusion of natural XXX- chromosome females in the discussion was never noted, and the XO laughed when I mentioned it, and loudly proclaimed THERE ARE NO GIRLS IN THE FLOATILLA. I reminded him of our enduring search for at least one authentic girl for the sake of affirmative action, his Chesnekov-vodka fueled retort was a rapidly delivered and very angry-sounding rant about ponies, glitter, and fucking onesell In other news, a Λ/ontainer ship recently joined the floatilla after being declared unser ceable in its ho ne port of Singapore, and it oined the fleet after abs onding with its entire pay oad, which, fortunately, included dozens of conexes of Red Bull, Mountain Dew, Tabasco flavored Slim Jims, and women's lingerie >/kaptains log, the /k/arner, day 315 Operation "PHASE MOTHERFUCKING DEUCE/k/rusade has been a resounding success. By skirting the various no-fly zones, we've successfully mobilized forward infantry elements with our fleet of Hind-D's and shithooks without a single operational loss in deployment. A close call was had by the support shithook gunship da/kk/a when the 105mm was fired at too low an altitude, and almost caused it to crash. When asked about the target engaged, the weapon's officer, CW2 /k/rabs, insisted the 105mm be used against the BMP's and other lightly mechanized Iranian Kebab Infantry resistance because Fuck those guys. Following the removal of much kebab, all personnel and assets were successfully extra/k/ted before Iranian F14's and other aircraft could be scrambled to intercept, and all safely arrived inside the safety zone of the /k/arriers CWIS systems. Tragically, despite all attempts to the contrary, we could not /k/apture an Iranian F14 for our resident Top Gun./k/apturing an Iranian F14 remainsa primary objective of O By day 320, we hope to be re-mobilizing to travel through the Suez canal and commence removal of Albanian and Serbian/kebab in Phase Ill Anonymous 03/12/14(Wed)10:49 UTC-5 No.20368327 Replies: 2220388438 220388442 346 /k/aptians log. T >After nearly a full year at sea, the crew have finally become a cohesive, efficient machine >With the XO's new leadership, we now collect all of the ship's human waste in a tank that can feed any of four specifically adapted water cannons on the sides of the vessel to repel attempted arrier without >The lead weapons officer has also developed a rotary point defense weapon from eight nugget barrels that is fed nugget food via PKM belts that became plentiful after the hugely successfull landside >The constant influx o volunteer / ew have permitted me to become rather selective o who we take on board. To my absolute surprise, there's actually at least one non-trans female on lki that requested duty here as a radar officer. Every other female onboard is either trans or a trap. I am not sure the crew has even noticed Anonymous 03/12/14(Wed)12:33 UTC-5 No.20369246 //aptains log, the >The O and Major Chesneko have hatched the most danng, and most meaning ul operation ever day 377 oposed to the /kommando floatilla, the Λ a ture and subsequent on-board relocation of the Sympathetic assets in the area of the /k/ube have been contacted, as this raid will r equire plainclothes civilian assistance for a total distraction if it has any chance to succeed The crux of the plan relies on stealth and avoidance of contact and weapons usage. As ironic as that seems, it is critical if we are to successfully abs/k/ond with the /k/ube without attracting attention to our fleet, the fleet's new proximity to the US & Canada's eastern seaboard, and of course, prevent any attempts to reclaim the /klube from us 거wo shithooks will be modified to transport the / ube, to pro de a p mary and alternate helo for main extract on the shithook gunship, da/ k/a ill support A large rainstorm is approaching the location of the /k/ube and well fly through the rainstorm to mask the sound of the shithooks as best as possible, and we'll extract the kube with carefully placed demoliton charges on the ceiling of its prison pray to the /kube's glory for the success of this mission Alex Nex Alea Anonymous 03/12/14(Wed)12:45 UTC-5 No.20369363 /k/aptains log, the -It is with the greatest regret and deepest sadness that I report the passing of one of our premier officers, Major van Chesnekow During the daring raid to recover the murder/k/ube, Major Chesnekov led the raid himself, and at the most critical part of the raid, the breaching charges to be used on the roof of the murder/k/ube's prison experienced detonator failure. Major Chesnekov, with complete disregard for his own safety, jumped from the safety of his helicopter down to the roof by throwing his AK's sling around the steel hoisting cables that were to be used to pull the piece of roof off the top of building by shithook 1, and using his AK & sling as a zip-line Knowing fully that his actions would kill him, he manually placed detcord to each breaching charge, and set off the detcord by using one hand to repeatedly swing the buttstock of his AKS-74 down on the end of it to initiate the blast, all while singing the Soviet March, and emptying a 75 round drum on full auto from his AKMSU held in his other hand Nothing remained of Major Chesnekov after the blast except for his AKMSU, and his AKS-74, both of which function perfectly and only needed to be dusted off & reloaded >Major Chesnekovs actions alone ensured the successful recovery of the /k/ube and for his gallant sacrifice of his own life for the sake of the /klube, we hereby posthumously present Major >A public memorial service will be held on the aft flight deck at 1600 ship's time. Duty weapons & Vodka for mass 21-gun salute required, blanks not required but somewhat encouraged. Anonymous 03/12/14(Wed)11:03 UTC-5 No.20368442 Repies: 22036847020368544 >/kaptains log, the /k/arner, day 485 The /karrier is now the proud flagship of an entire floatilla of /k/rew that include several previously-decommissioned soviet nuclear submarines, to include much of their former russian-speaking crew and We have two actual bilingual translation chiefs to ensure actual communication with the /k/aptains of those vessels, but communication amongst the enslited is largely done by exchanging memes >l was recently made aware of the fact that the Typhoon class sub recently /k/ristened the /k/ommunist has onboard an entire compliment of soviet nuclear sub-surface launchable ICBMs with warheads. For inexplicable reasons, the targeting computer is missing. I will work with our chief weapons officer to patch up a suitable substitute with smartphones or a garmin. The /k/rew and and vessels in our floatilla have been universally banned from making port-of-call anywhere in the westerm world, so we largely dock & resupply from various ports in the south Atlantic ndian ocean >The trans rap e na e contingent of the / re have all been reassigned to our ex-sonet m $sile criser, the Λ laptrap, and the / aptain of that essel is a ng a freddie mercury lookalike contest to celebrateh >Piracy around Somalia has completely disappeared. The /k/rew are hungry for action, so we're headed to the black sea via the Mediterranean, and hopefully will encounter an lranian Botilla on the way. The /kaptain of the /k/laptrap has bid for and claimed the nght of first engagement of any hostile hadji vessels Anonymous 03/12/14(Wed)11:15 UTC-5 No.20368544 Repies: 220388577 23 20383844 2220388889 2220388874 /k/aptains log, the The UN and most of the developed world have expressed concerm about our recent re-activation of full global nuclear capability between our Typhoon class submarine, the /k/ommunist, and the nuclear-tipped Tomahawks recently found in a Cuban port-raid that were in crates labeled 'dragon dildoes' in kakatana At their behest, we sent an emissary to represent us to the UN and have set up a Λ /onsulate in an old south brooklyn hamburger shop prenously owned by illegal bangladeshi mm grants They tried, but could not teach any of our lkiontingent there how to successfully cook a hamburger without using a flamethrower or molotov cocktails. For the moment e 0rdered our emissary to sip y occupy that building and serve only ountain drinks and bottled liquor. Thanks to diplomatic immunity the emissary and his Λ ontingent proudly camed a full armament o en em-worthy etard negotiations are underway to disarm, but are not expected to succeed. Still, being recognized as a nuclear power and accorded full honors despite being a flotilla of overweight unwashed& sexually deprived neckbeards, fishnet wearing traps, and alcoholic eastem european/former warsaw pact ex-pats that blather on drunkenly in their native languages when not actively shooting at something
Being Alone, Apparently, and Drunk: File: 1394635459916 ing-(1.72 MB, 2100x1500, 1394400938845 jpg)
 O Saigallarine lgy f0y2Rq 03/12/14(Wed09 44 UTC-5 No 20367891 Reples
 k/ Has aquired a Nitmitz Class Carrier
 what do we fill it with and what do we do with it?
 >daily gun
 2036790
 20367巡>>20367967M2 367996m2 368229-20368352-20368384
 Anonymous 03/12/14(Wed)09:46 UTC-5 No 20367902 Reples 쯔20367920,-2036793?-20367976
 Well we better pray that at least a handful of /kommandos have leamed to operate and service a nuclear reactor while watching uppote in their moms
 Anonymous 03/12/14(Ned)10:41 UTC-5 No. 20368263 Replies ,-20368225,-20388314쯔
 The /k/arrier
 1 part Snow Crash raft
 part Fuck yeah Sealand
 3 parts lets shoot some pirates
 1 part 'who put this kiddie
 2 parts why are the walls of the officer's mess covered in spraypaint and semen
 3 parts why didnt anyone bring qt3
 the fight deck
 GFs
 対he/krew are restless It has been three days since we last sank a somali pirate foat la and we've been banned from making port-of-call in Madagascar, India, and the Seychelles Islands after our
 recent debaucherous visits there that left walls full of ND'd bullet holes and every prostitute within 20 miles of port seeking deportation or retirement
 3As the Λ /aptain, I'm also concerned because our XO has recently fabricated a / it out of loaded Nugget food str pper clips and wears nothing else. The XO has also taken to defecating on the fight
 deck and smearing his feces into pictures of boobs, penises, or firearms
 The /krew are equally disturbed, I have taken reports from section chiefs that some of the enlisted sailors have begun wearing nothing but war paint, and entertain themselves by attaching unused
 machinery to the steam catapult just to launch it off of the flight deck
 Anonymous 03/12/14(Wed)11:45 UTC-5 No.20368806 Repies: 220388840 2 20388844
 both
 /k/aptains log, the
 Our unruly /'rew is beginning to work as a team. Aside from a few accidental deaths from misuse of the steam catapult, and falling off the flight deck while drunk, operations are relatively safe and
 Earlier this week, in the interest of acquiring more ull retard A Cs to enjoy. we hosted his em nent excellence Kim Jong-. on the /ka er His entourage included many military and scence o cers
 that were interested in /karrier operations, and wanted a full spec sheet & the opportunity for further study, in the hopes of reverse-engineering our beloved ship
 On day two, after a p ate meeting with our stil /kilt wear ng XO, tree MI 12's ful of best Korean qt3 14's were greeted on the flight deck. The entire /krew aside from a skeleton element requ ed for
 continung ops were treated to a very nice, impressively choreographed qt3.14 drill &ceremony performance
 >Unfortunately, while we secured 6 full armed Hind-D's and 5500 Kalashnikovs and 500,000 rounds of ammunition, keeping the qt3.14's would have required hosting Kim-Jong l permanently to get him
 away from his fat prick with missiles' son, Kim Jong Un. He intends to fake his death, apparently
 Anonymous 03/12/14(Wed)11:50 UTC-5 No.20368853 Repies: 220388912 220388913
 >Operation /k/rusade is in full swing. With the air support spearheaded by the Hind-D gunships& other improvised 'air technicaf Helicopters (which includes a Shithook, in which our weapons officer
 somehow found a way to safely mount a short barreled 105mm howitzer, with twin MK19's on either side as door guns. This shithook unsurprising has the callsign da kkia we have enjoyed
 considerable success establishing a beachhead and maintaining air superionity over the various skinnies, bhats, and whatever else continue to harass & pirate in the region. Recovering any trophies or
 artifa/k/ts from the Black Hawk Down incident is also of considerable interest and our second-line ground teams have weaponeer detachments to recover & salvage any technicals and support arms
 Anonymous 03/12/14(Wed)11:57 UTC-5 No.20368912
 265
 > peration Λ1r sade has been a resounding success All operational prate skiffs & ships have either been captured or scuttled, and the military infrastructure and warlord elements the port coast of
 Somalia have been decimated. we e established a landside base with a Λ/ontingen to maintain port security & act as a new base o operations. W thin a couple weeks I hope to gradually increase
 the /k/ontingent on land, but that will depend on their ability to stop taking pictures and making a meme competition for jungle tits' and 'national geographic titties' that apparently abound absolutely
 unrestrained in the fegion re placed our senior Russian ex-pat, Major han Chesnekov, n Λ/ommand of the Λ/ontingent as his seaside manner has detenorated greatly and his typically-coherent
 rantings against the desecration of Russian & warsaw-pact firearms frequently tum into Russian-accented incoherent screaming in high seas, or whenever his shipboard Vodka still mailifunctions or
 produces a questionable batch of hooch. Ive ordered the still moved landside as a resul
 Anonymous 03/12/14(Wed)12:07 UTC-5 No.20369012
 289
 >/k/aptains log, the
 Following the repeated AAR's on Operation /k/rusade, our higher leadership meeting, at the drunken insistence of our XO, expanded to include outlining a plan for, as the XO inimitably put it, a
 "PHASE MOTHERFUCKING DEUCE" to Operation /krusade
 >Several potential targets & AO's were discussed, but leading our prospects of both the opportunity for unmitigated violence and visiting said violence upon the most deserving examples of humanity
 ran prevailed as the leading choice over Los Angeles in a heated debate
 > e sail for the Persian Gulf after Vodka supplies are reple shed onboard, and we get our new y acq red Typhoon class Submarine Λ1nstened and fully 0 erational to serve as a on ard observer or
 The /k/rew's moral could not be higher, as following the successful Operation/k/rusade, a nightly /karaoke competition in the main mess hall has gained a great deal of populanity, though the Seet-
 wide broadcast of the / araoke contest resulted in numerous and suspiciously deliberate a its found in shipboard PA's after a South /korean gunner's mate performed a rendition of Manah karey's
 Anonymous 03/12/14(Wed)12:18 UTC-5 No 20369097
 >/kaptains log, the Λ/arner, day 291
 /k/orrection to day 289's entry: I suspiciously used the word 'moral accidentally instead of moralle. Not sure if spellcheck accident, and not sure if my PC's becoming ironicaly self-aware
 >Morals, as an overall concept, are quite nebulous within the fleet and even onboard the /k/arnier. I hear reports from section chiefs where /k/rew will come to blows (as in the swinging fists kind, not
 the applied with lips and vacuum kind) when debating whether or not the traps among the /k/rew are the better lays' than the trans members of the /k/rew. Strangely, the inclusion of natural XXX-
 chromosome females in the discussion was never noted, and the XO laughed when I mentioned it, and loudly proclaimed THERE ARE NO GIRLS IN THE FLOATILLA. I reminded him of our enduring
 search for at least one authentic girl for the sake of affirmative action, his Chesnekov-vodka fueled retort was a rapidly delivered and very angry-sounding rant about ponies, glitter, and fucking onesell
 In other news, a Λ/ontainer ship recently joined the floatilla after being declared unser ceable in its ho ne port of Singapore, and it oined the fleet after abs onding with its entire pay oad, which,
 fortunately, included dozens of conexes of Red Bull, Mountain Dew, Tabasco flavored Slim Jims, and women's lingerie
 >/kaptains log, the /k/arner, day 315
 Operation "PHASE MOTHERFUCKING DEUCE/k/rusade has been a resounding success. By skirting the various no-fly zones, we've successfully mobilized forward infantry elements with our fleet
 of Hind-D's and shithooks without a single operational loss in deployment. A close call was had by the support shithook gunship da/kk/a when the 105mm was fired at too low an altitude, and almost
 caused it to crash. When asked about the target engaged, the weapon's officer, CW2 /k/rabs, insisted the 105mm be used against the BMP's and other lightly mechanized Iranian Kebab Infantry
 resistance because Fuck those guys.
 Following the removal of much kebab, all personnel and assets were successfully extra/k/ted before Iranian F14's and other aircraft could be scrambled to intercept, and all safely arrived inside the
 safety zone of the /k/arriers CWIS systems. Tragically, despite all attempts to the contrary, we could not /k/apture an Iranian F14 for our resident Top Gun./k/apturing an Iranian F14 remainsa
 primary objective of O
 By day 320, we hope to be re-mobilizing to travel through the Suez canal and commence removal of Albanian and Serbian/kebab in Phase Ill
 Anonymous 03/12/14(Wed)10:49 UTC-5 No.20368327 Replies: 2220388438 220388442
 346
 /k/aptians log. T
 >After nearly a full year at sea, the crew have finally become a cohesive, efficient machine
 >With the XO's new leadership, we now collect all of the ship's human waste in a tank that can feed any of four specifically adapted water cannons on the sides of the vessel to repel attempted
 arrier
 without
 >The lead weapons officer has also developed a rotary point defense weapon from eight nugget barrels that is fed nugget food via PKM belts that became plentiful after the hugely successfull landside
 >The constant influx o volunteer / ew have permitted me to become rather selective o who we take on board. To my absolute surprise, there's actually at least one non-trans female on lki that
 requested duty here as a radar officer. Every other female onboard is either trans or a trap. I am not sure the crew has even noticed
 Anonymous 03/12/14(Wed)12:33 UTC-5 No.20369246
 //aptains log, the
 >The O and Major Chesneko have hatched the most danng, and most meaning ul operation ever
 day 377
 oposed to the /kommando floatilla, the Λ a ture and subsequent on-board relocation of the
 Sympathetic assets in the area of the /k/ube have been contacted, as this raid will r equire plainclothes civilian assistance for a total distraction if it has any chance to succeed
 The crux of the plan relies on stealth and avoidance of contact and weapons usage. As ironic as that seems, it is critical if we are to successfully abs/k/ond with the /k/ube without attracting
 attention to our fleet, the fleet's new proximity to the US & Canada's eastern seaboard, and of course, prevent any attempts to reclaim the /klube from us
 거wo shithooks will be modified to transport the / ube, to pro de a p mary and alternate helo for main extract on the shithook gunship, da/ k/a ill support A large rainstorm is approaching the
 location of the /k/ube and well fly through the rainstorm to mask the sound of the shithooks as best as possible, and we'll extract the kube with carefully placed demoliton charges on the ceiling of its
 prison
 pray to the /kube's glory for the success of this mission Alex Nex Alea
 Anonymous 03/12/14(Wed)12:45 UTC-5 No.20369363
 /k/aptains log, the
 -It is with the greatest regret and deepest sadness that I report the passing of one of our premier officers, Major van Chesnekow
 During the daring raid to recover the murder/k/ube, Major Chesnekov led the raid himself, and at the most critical part of the raid, the breaching charges to be used on the roof of the murder/k/ube's
 prison experienced detonator failure. Major Chesnekov, with complete disregard for his own safety, jumped from the safety of his helicopter down to the roof by throwing his AK's sling around the steel
 hoisting cables that were to be used to pull the piece of roof off the top of building by shithook 1, and using his AK & sling as a zip-line
 Knowing fully that his actions would kill him, he manually placed detcord to each breaching charge, and set off the detcord by using one hand to repeatedly swing the buttstock of his AKS-74 down on
 the end of it to initiate the blast, all while singing the Soviet March, and emptying a 75 round drum on full auto from his AKMSU held in his other hand
 Nothing remained of Major Chesnekov after the blast except for his AKMSU, and his AKS-74, both of which function perfectly and only needed to be dusted off & reloaded
 >Major Chesnekovs actions alone ensured the successful recovery of the /k/ube and for his gallant sacrifice of his own life for the sake of the /klube, we hereby posthumously present Major
 >A public memorial service will be held on the aft flight deck at 1600 ship's time. Duty weapons & Vodka for mass 21-gun salute required, blanks not required but somewhat encouraged.
 Anonymous 03/12/14(Wed)11:03 UTC-5 No.20368442 Repies: 22036847020368544
 >/kaptains log, the /k/arner, day 485
 The /karrier is now the proud flagship of an entire floatilla of /k/rew that include several previously-decommissioned soviet nuclear submarines, to include much of their former russian-speaking crew
 and
 We have two actual bilingual translation chiefs to ensure actual communication with the /k/aptains of those vessels, but communication amongst the enslited is largely done by exchanging memes
 >l was recently made aware of the fact that the Typhoon class sub recently /k/ristened the /k/ommunist has onboard an entire compliment of soviet nuclear sub-surface launchable ICBMs with
 warheads. For inexplicable reasons, the targeting computer is missing. I will work with our chief weapons officer to patch up a suitable substitute with smartphones or a garmin.
 The /k/rew and and vessels in our floatilla have been universally banned from making port-of-call anywhere in the westerm world, so we largely dock & resupply from various ports in the south Atlantic
 ndian ocean
 >The trans rap e na e contingent of the / re have all been reassigned to our ex-sonet m $sile criser, the Λ laptrap, and the / aptain of that essel is a ng a freddie mercury lookalike contest to
 celebrateh
 >Piracy around Somalia has completely disappeared. The /k/rew are hungry for action, so we're headed to the black sea via the Mediterranean, and hopefully will encounter an lranian Botilla on the
 way. The /kaptain of the /k/laptrap has bid for and claimed the nght of first engagement of any hostile hadji vessels
 Anonymous 03/12/14(Wed)11:15 UTC-5 No.20368544 Repies: 220388577 23 20383844 2220388889 2220388874
 /k/aptains log, the
 The UN and most of the developed world have expressed concerm about our recent re-activation of full global nuclear capability between our Typhoon class submarine, the /k/ommunist, and the
 nuclear-tipped Tomahawks recently found in a Cuban port-raid that were in crates labeled 'dragon dildoes' in kakatana
 At their behest, we sent an emissary to represent us to the UN and have set up a Λ /onsulate in an old south brooklyn hamburger shop prenously owned by illegal bangladeshi mm grants They
 tried, but could not teach any of our lkiontingent there how to successfully cook a hamburger without using a flamethrower or molotov cocktails. For the moment e 0rdered our emissary to sip y
 occupy that building and serve only ountain drinks and bottled liquor. Thanks to diplomatic immunity the emissary and his Λ ontingent proudly camed a full armament o en em-worthy etard
 negotiations are underway to disarm, but are not expected to succeed. Still, being recognized as a nuclear power and accorded full honors despite being a flotilla of overweight unwashed& sexually
 deprived neckbeards, fishnet wearing traps, and alcoholic eastem european/former warsaw pact ex-pats that blather on drunkenly in their native languages when not actively shooting at something
Bailey Jay, Drinking, and Driving: .Sprint 10:44 PM 74% . BGPD responding to a report that Albert is intoxicated and on the front porch again on W. 10th Ave 4 12 EMS has requested BGPD, Albert has been drinking all day and doesn't know where he is O 49 May 11 BGPD responding to a report that Jackie jumped on Albert's back on W. 10th Ave 4 21 ay 2 Overheard on the scanner, dispatch to officer, "Albert is intoxicated and on his porch yelling racial slurs at his neighbors." ug 28 Drunk and disorderly, Albert is hitting the front porch on W. 10th with a cane and is yelling. BGPD dispatched 16 0 Dec 2016 Overheard on scanner, "Albert tells dispatcher he hasn't had a drink today and Tommy hit him. Tommy says Albert hit him." Both are grown mern ep 27 Report of a fall with a head injury on W. 10th Ave. Albert is intoxicated and becoming violent. EMS, BGFD standing back until BGPD arrives 4 Overheard on the scanner, "Albert is outside, he has been drinking all day." 4 19 Feb 2012 Highly intoxicated Albert a table. Them flees. Police trying to track him down. alks into a home on West 14th and overturns ar 2 Albert is intoxicated on front porch in 200 block of W. 10th Ave. Has fallen several times. BGPD deal with him several time a week 3 Mar 2 bert has called ambulance for reported backside pain after falling several time off the porch due to intoxication in 200 block of W. 10th I Jul 20 Report of a male passed out in the alley at Woodford St. and Stubbins St. EMS has been called for Albert. 4 May 8 BGPD and EMS because Albert has been drinking for three days and is passed out in the tub on W. 10th Ave 2 6 31 Mar 2010 olice looking for Albert who is drunk and driving an old Insight Cable truck. Sep 14 An intoxicated Albert is claiming "blindness" and an ambulance has been requested 5
Bailey Jay, Drinking, and Driving: .Sprint
 10:44 PM
 74%
 .
 BGPD responding to a report that Albert is intoxicated and on the front porch
 again on W. 10th Ave
 4
 12
 EMS has requested BGPD, Albert has been drinking all day and doesn't know
 where he is
 O 49
 May 11
 BGPD responding to a report that Jackie jumped on Albert's back on W. 10th
 Ave
 4
 21
 ay 2
 Overheard on the scanner, dispatch to officer, "Albert is intoxicated and on his
 porch yelling racial slurs at his neighbors."
 ug 28
 Drunk and disorderly, Albert is hitting the front porch on W. 10th with a cane
 and is yelling. BGPD dispatched
 16
 0 Dec 2016
 Overheard on scanner, "Albert tells dispatcher he hasn't had a drink today and
 Tommy hit him. Tommy says Albert hit him." Both are grown mern
 ep 27
 Report of a fall with a head injury on W. 10th Ave. Albert is intoxicated and
 becoming violent. EMS, BGFD standing back until BGPD arrives
 4
 Overheard on the scanner, "Albert is outside, he has been drinking all day."
 4
 19
 Feb 2012
 Highly intoxicated Albert
 a table. Them flees. Police trying to track him down.
 alks into a home on West 14th and overturns
 ar 2
 Albert is intoxicated on front porch in 200 block of W. 10th Ave. Has fallen
 several times. BGPD deal with him several time a week
 3
 Mar 2
 bert has called ambulance for reported backside pain after falling several time
 off the porch due to intoxication in 200 block of W. 10th
 I Jul 20
 Report of a male passed out in the alley at Woodford St. and Stubbins St. EMS
 has been called for Albert.
 4
 May 8
 BGPD and EMS because Albert has been drinking for three days and is passed
 out in the tub on W. 10th Ave
 2
 6
 31 Mar 2010
 olice looking for Albert
 who is drunk and driving an old Insight Cable
 truck.
 Sep 14
 An intoxicated Albert is claiming "blindness" and an ambulance has been
 requested
 5
Bad, Easter, and Memes: DC NATION UNMERSE JUSTICE LEAGUE MOVIE REVIEW JUSTICE LEAGUE MOVIE Review NON SPOILER: is it a great movie? No. Is it bad as a comic book film ?No. Okay so first of all the story is really thin and you don't really feel the danger or the world ending shit, the change of Tone from the other films is weird in a way what I mean is the transition from BVS is not natural at all, it's like they took the criticism from BVS and went 180 which kinda killed the narrative , the pacing is just bad , its really obvious that the movie needed an extra 20-30 min , you can actually feel that some scenes are not even finished and they just jumped to another , the CGI man at some point it's really bad , the villain is a video game character and just a walking talking plot device but still the main issue with the film is the story and Like I said its REALLY thin , now the characters are really good : my favourite is superman without a doubt this is the best version of superman we've seen in the DCEU, the flash is great Ezra captured the essnce of barry Allen and yes in my opinion better than grant, Wonder woman is the best thing about this universe and she shines in this movie although at a certain scene they really nerfed her down i was mad , Aquaman is good but in the movie you might feel that we needed his solo film first, Cyborg Is the weakest didn't really like his character , the interactions between those characters was great some of it kinda off but mostly GREAT, as a huge DC fan I had a great amount of joy watching some CB Easter eggs and just watching those characters in general , Hated the score Hans or Junkie XL did a really better job on both mos and bvs, lastly in my opinion its not just the movie but the whole build up to it was an issue as well they didn't build to the justice league in a good way , they could've made this movie an EVENT just like what marvel are doing with infinity war and what kills me the most is that Those characters are ten times better than the ones at marvel , this the JUSTICE LEAGUE people those characters deserve better we deserve better.
Bad, Easter, and Memes: DC NATION UNMERSE
 JUSTICE LEAGUE MOVIE
 REVIEW
JUSTICE LEAGUE MOVIE Review NON SPOILER: is it a great movie? No. Is it bad as a comic book film ?No. Okay so first of all the story is really thin and you don't really feel the danger or the world ending shit, the change of Tone from the other films is weird in a way what I mean is the transition from BVS is not natural at all, it's like they took the criticism from BVS and went 180 which kinda killed the narrative , the pacing is just bad , its really obvious that the movie needed an extra 20-30 min , you can actually feel that some scenes are not even finished and they just jumped to another , the CGI man at some point it's really bad , the villain is a video game character and just a walking talking plot device but still the main issue with the film is the story and Like I said its REALLY thin , now the characters are really good : my favourite is superman without a doubt this is the best version of superman we've seen in the DCEU, the flash is great Ezra captured the essnce of barry Allen and yes in my opinion better than grant, Wonder woman is the best thing about this universe and she shines in this movie although at a certain scene they really nerfed her down i was mad , Aquaman is good but in the movie you might feel that we needed his solo film first, Cyborg Is the weakest didn't really like his character , the interactions between those characters was great some of it kinda off but mostly GREAT, as a huge DC fan I had a great amount of joy watching some CB Easter eggs and just watching those characters in general , Hated the score Hans or Junkie XL did a really better job on both mos and bvs, lastly in my opinion its not just the movie but the whole build up to it was an issue as well they didn't build to the justice league in a good way , they could've made this movie an EVENT just like what marvel are doing with infinity war and what kills me the most is that Those characters are ten times better than the ones at marvel , this the JUSTICE LEAGUE people those characters deserve better we deserve better.

JUSTICE LEAGUE MOVIE Review NON SPOILER: is it a great movie? No. Is it bad as a comic book film ?No. Okay so first of all the story is real...

Anaconda, Dad, and Definitely: 12554 points 6 hours ago* My dad rigged my car to explode the last time i saw him. He and my stepmom took out life insurance policies on my step sister and i. That year I went to their house for Easter and while we were eating he went out into my car and loosened up all of the fuel lines. It was a 300zx so the engine would get really hot. He took off the valve(edit: engine cover you know what l meant) cover so that it was bare metal under the hood. I caught him outside with the hood up when i went out to smoke. He said he was just glancing around. One day, a few weeks later, the fuel lines popped off while i was driving. The car just died out(thank god) so i jumped out and popped the hood to see fuel had sprayed all over everything. Called my dad to ask what to do. He told me i had to get the car to his house which was 30 miles away. I Instead i got it towed to my shop and that's where they told me that it looked like the hose clamps were intentionally loosened I knew that no one else was ever even under the hood. Soi never went back lol. 10 L,G, wil 100% 12:22 PM 57 points 4 hours ago If you didn't involve the authorities, you're either an imbecile or this story isn't true. 21 points 2 hours ago Yup, sounds like complete bs. 13 points 1 hour ago Looking at this guys comments he has a lot of interesting" stories to tell. He's banged several of his friends moms. In the 9th grade he went to a house party where a friend was stealing pills from a bedroom. A few weeks later he learns that the house was this same friends aunt's house, and they were arranging the aunt's funeral because she died without the medicine. His aunt was in a car accident going 5 mph in a parking lot, the other driver lost her eye from this 5 mph crash. The other driver sued his aunt and her insurance company, her aunt's cousin and her insurance company, her aunt's cousin's husband and his insurance company and got max payouts from everybody Yeah definitely leaning towards this story being BS. Doesn't make sense to begin with how can you be so nonchalant about your own dad literally attempting to murder you ~] points 24 minutes ago This was around 4 years ago I'm over it. And I'm glad to entertain you for however long it took you to read that many comments Redditor's dad attempts to kill him for insurance money, he doesn't call police. User calls him out for having many other questionable stories
Anaconda, Dad, and Definitely: 12554 points 6 hours ago*
 My dad rigged my car to explode the last time i saw him. He
 and my stepmom took out life insurance policies on my
 step sister and i.
 That year I went to their house for Easter and while we were
 eating he went out into my car and loosened up all of the
 fuel lines. It was a 300zx so the engine would get really hot.
 He took off the valve(edit: engine cover you know what l
 meant) cover so that it was bare metal under the hood. I
 caught him outside with the hood up when i went out to
 smoke. He said he was just glancing around.
 One day, a few weeks later, the fuel lines popped off while i
 was driving. The car just died out(thank god) so i jumped
 out and popped the hood to see fuel had sprayed all over
 everything. Called my dad to ask what to do. He told me i
 had to get the car to his house which was 30 miles away. I
 Instead i got it towed to my shop and that's where they told
 me that it looked like the hose clamps were intentionally
 loosened
 I knew that no one else was ever even under the hood. Soi
 never went back lol.

 10
 L,G, wil 100%
 12:22 PM
 57 points 4 hours ago
 If you didn't involve the authorities, you're either an
 imbecile or this story isn't true.
 21 points 2 hours ago
 Yup, sounds like complete bs.
 13 points 1 hour ago
 Looking at this guys comments he has a lot of
 interesting" stories to tell.
 He's banged several of his friends moms.
 In the 9th grade he went to a house party where a friend
 was stealing pills from a bedroom. A few weeks later he
 learns that the house was this same friends aunt's
 house, and they were arranging the aunt's funeral
 because she died without the medicine.
 His aunt was in a car accident going 5 mph in a parking
 lot, the other driver lost her eye from this 5 mph crash.
 The other driver sued his aunt and her insurance
 company, her aunt's cousin and her insurance company,
 her aunt's cousin's husband and his insurance company
 and got max payouts from everybody
 Yeah definitely leaning towards this story being BS.
 Doesn't make sense to begin with how can you be so
 nonchalant about your own dad literally attempting to
 murder you
 ~] points 24 minutes ago
 This was around 4 years ago I'm over it. And I'm glad
 to entertain you for however long it took you to read
 that many comments
Redditor's dad attempts to kill him for insurance money, he doesn't call police. User calls him out for having many other questionable stories

Redditor's dad attempts to kill him for insurance money, he doesn't call police. User calls him out for having many other questionable stori...

American Idol, Children, and Crazy: Jordin Sparks ls Married and Expecting Her First Child With Husband, Dana Isaiah @balleralert Read More: www.balleralert.com Jordin Sparks Is Married and Expecting Her First Child With Husband, Dana Isaiah - blogged by @MsJennyb ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ JordinSparks is expecting! PEOPLE Magazine reports, that the American Idol winner is expecting her first child with now-husband Dana Isaiah, as the two secretly jumped the broom in mid-July. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ The couple’s love story begins with a charity campaign in Houston during Super Bowl weekend. After first meeting Isaiah’s family in February, Isaiah’s mom contacted Sparks’ mom to summon her daughter’s help in convincing Isaiah to stay home, instead of moving out west to pursue modeling. The two moms put their children in a group chat and the rest is history. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ According to PEOPLE, the couple spoke every day for the next month until Isaiah flew out to L.A. over Easter weekend. That’s when the two finally met. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ “A couple days after we had actually met, I was like in my head ‘That’s going to be my husband! That’s my husband right there,” Sparks said, revealing that they decided not to move in together until they were married. “When I’m with him, I feel comfort and safety and calm and peace, and those aren't things that I normally felt. So it was a little wake-up call for me.” ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ The couple initially bonded over their shared Christian beliefs, and just months after officially meeting, they already knew they wanted to spend the rest of their lives together. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ The two eloped on July 16th while on vacation in Hawaii, PEOPLE reports. Just one month later, Sparks found out she was pregnant. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ “It’s been really crazy because everything changes,” Sparks said. “Once we got over the initial shock of it, now again just ......to read the rest log on to BallerAlert.com (clickable link on profile)
American Idol, Children, and Crazy: Jordin Sparks ls Married and Expecting
 Her First Child With Husband, Dana
 Isaiah
 @balleralert
 Read More: www.balleralert.com
Jordin Sparks Is Married and Expecting Her First Child With Husband, Dana Isaiah - blogged by @MsJennyb ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ JordinSparks is expecting! PEOPLE Magazine reports, that the American Idol winner is expecting her first child with now-husband Dana Isaiah, as the two secretly jumped the broom in mid-July. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ The couple’s love story begins with a charity campaign in Houston during Super Bowl weekend. After first meeting Isaiah’s family in February, Isaiah’s mom contacted Sparks’ mom to summon her daughter’s help in convincing Isaiah to stay home, instead of moving out west to pursue modeling. The two moms put their children in a group chat and the rest is history. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ According to PEOPLE, the couple spoke every day for the next month until Isaiah flew out to L.A. over Easter weekend. That’s when the two finally met. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ “A couple days after we had actually met, I was like in my head ‘That’s going to be my husband! That’s my husband right there,” Sparks said, revealing that they decided not to move in together until they were married. “When I’m with him, I feel comfort and safety and calm and peace, and those aren't things that I normally felt. So it was a little wake-up call for me.” ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ The couple initially bonded over their shared Christian beliefs, and just months after officially meeting, they already knew they wanted to spend the rest of their lives together. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ The two eloped on July 16th while on vacation in Hawaii, PEOPLE reports. Just one month later, Sparks found out she was pregnant. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ “It’s been really crazy because everything changes,” Sparks said. “Once we got over the initial shock of it, now again just ......to read the rest log on to BallerAlert.com (clickable link on profile)

Jordin Sparks Is Married and Expecting Her First Child With Husband, Dana Isaiah - blogged by @MsJennyb ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ JordinSparks is expe...