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Alive, Anaconda, and Animals: i-should-be-writing-rn: inlovewithaleheather: thecuckoohaslanded: gerbthenerd: alexander-lamington: thelizardprincess: biglawbear: blacksirencry: swaglexander-the-great: #That’s a#That’s a blue ringed octopus#You’re going to die do you realise that#It is literally one of the most deadly animals in the world#Not just in Australia or just in the ocean in THE WORLD#Put it DOWN#And go to a hospital jfc via platonic-rabbit  me tryna find out if this fool died “The blue-ringed octopus, despite its small size, carries enough venom to kill twenty-six adult humans within minutes. Their bites are tiny and often painless, with many victims not realizing they have been envenomated until respiratory depression and paralysis start to set in.[8] No blue-ringed octopus antivenom is available yet, making it one of the deadliest reef inhabitants in the ocean.” Holy shit And this is why I don’t go in the ocean anymore Also the blue rings literally only show up when it is distressed so this person has angered it!!! You are in danger friend!!! Actually this guy keeps them as pets they’re on his instagram (william_exotique) and he frequently holds then and I just? Don’t know why? And also every picture or video he posts of them shows the blue rings so they’re always in distress I just do not understand why he’s doing this #AMY EXPLAIN HOW DUMB THIS GUY IS  I mean OP pretty much covered it.  A blue ringed octopus is almost on the level of CONE SNAIL on the list of things you ABSOLUTELY DO NOT PICK UP UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES. But ask and you shall receive,  On this episode of “Fun Facts With Cuckoo,” DEAD.  YOU’RE DEAD.  EVERYTHING IS DEAD AND YOU SHOULD NEVER TOUCH ANYTHING IN THE OCEAN EVER AGAIN. There are many things that will kill you. [citation needed] There are fewer, but still many things that will kill you FAST. There are yet fewer things that kill you fast and by such an overwhelming margin of overkill that nervous laughter is our only solace in the dark of this terrible, surprisingly Lovecraftian world of unearthly horrors that we live in. Of the things that I know about which will kill you fast via just plain insultingly potent venom, which is a not insignificant number of things because I know a not insignificant number of things, there are about 3 things in the ocean – IN THE WHOLE OCEAN – which are so insanely, mind-bogglingly deadly that there is pretty much no possible hope for survival (I mean you CAN, but god help you if you’re ever in that situation, because god’s just about damn near the only thing that CAN help you).  THE. WHOLE. OCEAN. Those three things are the Irukandji (a tiny (1cm) species of box jellyfish, which has stingers not only on its tentacles but on its BELL, for reasons no one has definitively figured out, and is so toxic despite its size its sting can cause a severe brain hemorrhage), the cone snail (a group of carnivorous sea snails that is accepted to be the most venomous animals on earth, with a STUPIDLY fast acting and extremely powerful neurotoxin that has in at least one case killed a human ALMOST INSTANTANEOUSLY, because the swimmer who found two beautiful shells (unfortunately cone snails tend to have very pretty shells which makes people want to pick them up) was holding them up for a picture and ended up being stabbed in the neck by not one but TWO cone snails at the same time, and it is believed that she was literally dead before she hit the ground, I mean LITERALLY in a 100% non-fictional and non-exaggerated way, in between the time the two cone snails stabbed her and the time her limp body hit the sand, she was not alive anymore), and the blue ringed octopus. It is POSSIBLE to survive any of these.  But not without immediate medical attention.  Of these three, the Irukandji is by far the most treatable, because Australia and other coastal regions (including Florida and other parts of the US) are kind of experienced in dealing with box jellyfish. The blue ringed octopus will fucking kill you.  There’s no antidote for their venom, ONE COMPONENT OF WHICH (tetrodotoxin) is 1200 times deadlier than cyanide.  It’s a powerful neurotoxin (most of the worst venoms are because the species that produce them need to kill or at least paralyze their prey quickly, like jellyfish whose fragile tentacles could be damaged if their food doesn’t stop struggling) that attacks the sodium channels and causes muscle paralysis.  It doesn’t necessarily kill you quickly.  It PARALYZES you quickly, so that you can’t really call for help or describe the problem, and you will probably end up slowly suffocating from a paralyzed diaphragm.  Tetrodotoxin can be metabolized by the body in a matter of hours, but it can also kill you in a matter of minutes if you get a lethal dose (which isn’t much, the LD50 or median lethal dose, the dose at which you have a 50% chance of survival, is only 8 MICROGRAMS per kilogram of body weight (as tested in mice)).  This is, by venom standards, not a large amount, which means the animal that is capable of putting this venom inside your body is very very good at killing the absolute shit out of you. DON’T TOUCH THE BLUE RINGED OCTOPUS. Now, because overkill is my motto, let me briefly explain why Conus geographus is the undisputed champion of YOU WILL NOT SURVIVE, AND FURTHERMORE FUCK YOU FOR THINKING OTHERWISE. A cone snail walks into a bar.  You’d expect the bartender to ask, “what’s your poison,” but they were paralyzed before they could ask and OH LOOK they’re already FUCKING DEAD ON THE GROUND. Conus geographus is about 4-6 inches long and nature’s equivalent of Avada Kedavra.  Cone snails literally have their own KIND of toxins named after them: conotoxin.  Not only is there no antidote, but their venom AGGRESSIVELY RESISTS our ability to find a cure, because we barely understand how it works AND conotoxins are so internally varied, even within a single species, that any one antidote isn’t going to help because they’re constantly mutating and evolving their venom to prevent their prey from evolving a resistance to it.  Plus their venom is like, a bunch of different venoms all at once JUST IN CASE any one of them wasn’t good enough. I want you to read these two sentences from the wiki page on conotoxin: “Conotoxins have a variety of mechanisms of actions, most of which have not been determined.” “The LD50 of conotoxin is 50 ng/kg.” Remember how the LD50 of tetrodotoxin is 8μg/kg?  Conotoxin is 160 times more potent.  FIFTY NANOGRAMS PER KILOGRAM HAS A 50% CHANCE OF KILLING YOU. A 220-POUND HUMAN HAS A 50% CHANCE OF SURVIVAL AGAINST JUST 5 MICROGRAMS OF CONOTOXIN.   I DID SOME MATH.   IT WOULD TAKE 7-9 MILLIGRAMS OF CONOTOXIN TO KILL A BLUE WHALE, THE HEAVIEST ANIMAL TO EVER LIVE. (based on weight estimates from 300-400,000 lbs.) Conus geographus is so fucking deadly that “In two cases of envenomation, only 0.0002-0.0005 mg resulted in severe paralysis.” THIS THING KILLS STUFF SO HARD THAT BEFORE YOU HEAR THE FIRST “MORTAL KOMBAT” IN THE MORTAL KOMBAT THEME, THERE’S PROBABLY ALREADY BEEN A FATALITY. And guess what?  Cone snails don’t do that NOOB SHIT with the superficial biting or stinging.  Your wetsuit or gloves won’t protect you.  Because homeboy didn’t bring teeth to evolution’s knife fight.  Oh no.  It brought a motherfucking radula POISON HARPOON.  It’s lightning fast and has way more piercing power than some silly little cnidocytes or salivary bacteria. Another component of their venom is being researched for its potential as a pain reliever.  “WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT????” you might reasonably ask.  And you would be right to do so, because science has gone too far and has surely sinned against the very image of Mollusca Kedavra.  Well, it turns out the answer is “Research shows that certain component proteins of the venom target specific human pain receptors and can be up to 10,000 times more potent than morphine without morphine’s addictive properties and side-effects.”  That’s right, the part of their venom that SPECIFICALLY DOESN’T HURT YOU is up to 10,000 times more potent than morphine. Also, Conus geographus (along with one other cone snail species, C. tulipa) is the only known non-human animal to weaponize insulin.  In addition to the normal insulin that the snails produce for their own use, their bodies manufacture an ADDITIONAL insulin molecule that is similar to the kind produced in fish (which they eat) for the sole purpose of stunning their prey through hypoglycemic shock.  BECAUSE APPARENTLY THEY DON’T FEEL LIKE THEY’D KILL YOU HARD ENOUGH OTHERWISE. IF you are going to survive the ALMIGHTY CONE SNAIL, WHO KNOWS NO FEAR, TRIUMPHANT HEDGEMON OF THE MOLECULAR ARMS RACE, TRUE BORN HEIR TO THE SCYTHE OF DEATH ITSELF, FISHSLAYER, GOD AMONG MOLLUSKS, WHOSE WRATH IS MERCIFUL ONLY IN ITS BREVITY, ADMIRABLE IN ITS BEAUTY AND UNSULLIED BY THE UNWORTHY TOUCH OF MORTAL HANDS OR SCALES OR REALLY ANYTHING IN RANGE OF ITS RADULA HARPOON, then literally the only thing that’s going to save you is for you to be kept alive artificially (externalizing your respiratory functions to force your body to continue breathing, basically) until the effects of the venom wear off.  And because of how quickly this venom acts, you need to get that medical attention VERY, VERY FAST. And if you don’t get it, you will still be conscious while the paralysis slowly suffocates you to death. Don’t touch the pretty shells. I’ve never been so intrigued to learn how easily I could be fucking exterminated from existence by the overpowered sea creatures of the world. You’ve done a better job at keeping my attention then any of my teachers ever have. You know what I’m putting this on the writing blog cause I personally can see potential in some fantasy villain attempting to weaponise cone snailsIn which case, all hail snail king 🐌
Chicago, Clothes, and Dating: deliamelodyofficial: goldaquarius: thesunsword: jehovahhthickness: jessnesquik: jehovahhthickness: Stop dating abusive women 2018 Hardly any women are gonna reblog this tbh 🙃 A lot of women behave like this and think this ain’t abuse But let a nigga slap them, damage their clothes and pour a drink on them, all hell will break loose. EVERYONE CAN BE A VICTIM OF DOMESTIC ABUSE! Buddy has the soul of an angel and composure out of this world Just in case anyone wants the context: He has been making music in Chicago, he recently performed to a large audience and met London on da track, who offered him an opportunity in LA. She didn’t want to leave Chicago because of her business there. He told her that she doesn’t have to go, he just needs to do this for his music. She got upset because he straight up told her that he valued his career over their relationship and she did this.  Now I’m not a relationship expert, but I will never understand how some of y’all expect people to put you above the shit they have to do. Always put your career, your job, your livelihood first. This was all kinds of fucked up, really fucking abusive and manipulative, he should definitely go to LA with or without her.  Many women *WILL* reblog this, because part of feminism is acknowledging that women are just as capable of being abusive as men. Acting as though women cannot be abusive is misogyny, and relies on the misogynist tropes that women are frail, and innocent in comparison to men. Any true feminist must acknowledge that neither of these things are necessarily true and that a woman is in fact capable of being abusive whether it’s to another woman, a man, or a nonbinary person.The reason we focus on abuse from men towards women is that it is more prevalent, and institutionally encouraged, justified, and allowed without consequence, while a woman even “talking back” to a man is to be “put in her place.”Don’t bring your weak, fragile “Few women will reblog this” shit up in here. We know what abuse looks like when we see it.
Computers, Money, and Police: @Michaeligr Wanted: Computer Hacker Hi I am Michael and I am pretty sure that the bakery across the street charged me for 8 croissants yesterday even thoughI only bought 7. To avenge this injustice, I need someone to help me hack into the bakery's computer and transfer the cost of a croissant from their account to mine. If you are good at technology, be outside the bakery at 5.18pm with a computer and we can carry out my plan. Here is what it will involve e We will be dressed as bakers so that people don't get suspicious (I will bring a spare baker's hat just in case you don't have your own) OIf anyone asks us what we're doing, just say, "We own a rival bakery called Full Speed Abread and we are just checking out the competition" I have memorised the Wikipedia page on bread so if they ask any detailed questions about bread, leave it to me If they ask any questions about bread that I can't answer, I will shout "RUN" That will be the signal that our cover has been blown and we need to get out of there If you do this job right and reimburse me for the croissant, I will see to it that you are rewarded. I will NOT pay you in money because that would leave a money trail that the police could use to track us down. However, since you are so interested in computers, I will pay you in floppy disks, like the one below. And don't worry, that's not the only floppy disk that will be coming your way. There are plenty more where that came from. Michael Re: Bakery Hack Hi. Michael again from the poster above. I have just remembered that I only have one baker's hat so you will need to bring your own. Hopefully this is not a problem. If it is, I could possibly borrow the protective headgear from my uncle's beekeeper's suit and you could wear that instead? h this is not ideal but it will have to do. Michael Wanted : Computer Hacker

Wanted : Computer Hacker

Computers, Money, and Police: @Michaeligr Wanted: Computer Hacker Hi I am Michael and I am pretty sure that the bakery across the street charged me for 8 croissants yesterday even thoughI only bought 7. To avenge this injustice, I need someone to help me hack into the bakery's computer and transfer the cost of a croissant from their account to mine. If you are good at technology, be outside the bakery at 5.18pm with a computer and we can carry out my plan. Here is what it will involve e We will be dressed as bakers so that people don't get suspicious (I will bring a spare baker's hat just in case you don't have your own) OIf anyone asks us what we're doing, just say, "We own a rival bakery called Full Speed Abread and we are just checking out the competition" I have memorised the Wikipedia page on bread so if they ask any detailed questions about bread, leave it to me If they ask any questions about bread that I can't answer, I will shout "RUN" That will be the signal that our cover has been blown and we need to get out of there If you do this job right and reimburse me for the croissant, I will see to it that you are rewarded. I will NOT pay you in money because that would leave a money trail that the police could use to track us down. However, since you are so interested in computers, I will pay you in floppy disks, like the one below. And don't worry, that's not the only floppy disk that will be coming your way. There are plenty more where that came from. Michael Re: Bakery Hack Hi. Michael again from the poster above. I have just remembered that I only have one baker's hat so you will need to bring your own. Hopefully this is not a problem. If it is, I could possibly borrow the protective headgear from my uncle's beekeeper's suit and you could wear that instead? h this is not ideal but it will have to do. Michael Help me hack a bakery

Help me hack a bakery

Computers, Money, and Police: @Michaeligr Wanted: Computer Hacker Hi I am Michael and I am pretty sure that the bakery across the street charged me for 8 croissants yesterday even thoughI only bought 7. To avenge this injustice, I need someone to help me hack into the bakery's computer and transfer the cost of a croissant from their account to mine. If you are good at technology, be outside the bakery at 5.18pm with a computer and we can carry out my plan. Here is what it will involve e We will be dressed as bakers so that people don't get suspicious (I will bring a spare baker's hat just in case you don't have your own) OIf anyone asks us what we're doing, just say, "We own a rival bakery called Full Speed Abread and we are just checking out the competition" I have memorised the Wikipedia page on bread so if they ask any detailed questions about bread, leave it to me If they ask any questions about bread that I can't answer, I will shout "RUN" That will be the signal that our cover has been blown and we need to get out of there If you do this job right and reimburse me for the croissant, I will see to it that you are rewarded. I will NOT pay you in money because that would leave a money trail that the police could use to track us down. However, since you are so interested in computers, I will pay you in floppy disks, like the one below. And don't worry, that's not the only floppy disk that will be coming your way. There are plenty more where that came from. Michael Re: Bakery Hack Hi. Michael again from the poster above. I have just remembered that I only have one baker's hat so you will need to bring your own. Hopefully this is not a problem. If it is, I could possibly borrow the protective headgear from my uncle's beekeeper's suit and you could wear that instead? h this is not ideal but it will have to do. Michael Wanted : Computer Hacker

Wanted : Computer Hacker

Cookies, Creepy, and God: themetaisawesome: tsunasty: deafonyourleft: totallytrailbreaker: skellydun: rip santa. Working in Retail in under 3 minutes i had to watch this like 5 times because of no captions but lmao if someone makes a transcript for this it would be bomb transcript:“So we have these Santas at work, right, okay? We have black and we have white Santas. And they’re like creepy, five-foot tall, lifelike animatronic… like, Santas that hold plates of cookies and milk, and they kinda look like they could wake up and come to life and murder you in your sleep– and they don’t include batteries, but we have these Santas. Like nothing screams ‘festive holiday cheer’ like a big, hulking Santa. Um. Nothin’ will jingle your jangles more.So, um, this woman comes in and she’s like, “Do you have these?” and I’m like, “Oh my god, yeah!” So a couple weeks ago we sold out of our white Santas, and we are down to like, three black Santas. And so, I take her to the aisle, I show her the Santas, and the first thing out of her mouth is, “I’m not racist, but…” and I’m like, well, I can’t– I’m not in the position to decide if you are or not, but if like– if I could use context clues and infer, uh, I would say maybe that you might be. And three, we’re talking about Santa. Like– (stuttering) did we switch subjects?And so, um, I’m in like, I– the next thing that pops out of her mouth is like, “This is not right.” and I’m like, okay, I’m sorry, but this is what the picture was. And she’s like, “No. Santa is white.” And I’m like, oh no, okay. Okay. So I’m in– I’m about to tell her, I’m like, mid-sentence, like, “I’m sorry, do you want me to go call another store, do you need me to, like, write you a raincheck just in case we we get any more.” And she’s like, “This is wrong, I want them taken down.” She interrupts me, says that, and I’m like, (pause). I like, look around, and I’m like, is she talking to me? Is this, like, my own, like, personal hell? But like, of course it is.So, um, I’m like, “I can’t take these Santas down.” And she’s like, “Why not?!” And I’m like, “You either have to buy them, or take them down yourself.” And that was like, the stupidest thing I could have ever said, because– (sighs) she takes this bag, with like, Jesus’s face, like, slammed right in the middle as a design– it’s big– she takes it off her shoulder, and starts beating these black Santas! She starts beating these Santas down, they were like, falling down… and I’m like, oh my god! What– what is happening?So like, I step in the middle of her and these Santas and I’m like, “Ma’am, ma’am, you need to leave, you need to stop, or I’m going to have to call someone.” So she like, stops, and she’s like, beet red, and like, huffin’ and puffin’, and she like, looks at me and I can tell she’s just trying to get like, a one-liner in, and she’s like, “The Santa I know is white.” And then she walks away. And I’m like, well– I’m processing what’s happening, while also thinking, like, the Santa you know? Santa’s not real. So unless you’re using an ouija board to contact good old Kris Kringle, um, from like, B.C. or whenever, I’m like, that’s pretty impressive, but how ya doin’ that. And, um, I– the last thought that ran through my mind is that, I’m like, I would hate to be in the room with her when she finds out that Jesus is not white.” ‘‘Tis the season
Instagram, Tumblr, and Twitter: tvillainy-autumn omariliyo villainy-autumn:your Echo shines within you~3(just in case Tumblr being silly~here is my- Instagram , and Twitter )

villainy-autumn:your Echo shines within you~3(just in case Tumblr being silly~here is my- Instagram , and Twitter )