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Books, Children, and Chill: sondsheim: bakuryobaku sondsheim reblog and put the highest library late fee you've ever paid in the tags Ok so the highest I have paid is $20 the highest I have is $5000 and still counting and I'm never going back to Louisiana again There's gotta be a good story behind that $5000 fine Ok kiddo's sit the heckety down and hold onto your hats and broomsticks. The year is 2006. The setting, hick- fuckville Louisiana. I am but a humble child sitting in my local library reading all of the books that my school library banned, but they kept in the local library to adults, so that way they can "warn them, becouse if your child is reading these books they are possessed by show tan. This is the place where I got my first copy of Ann Rice's "Interview with the Vampire" which had all if my favorite things, a male/male relationship, vampires, the Victorian age, and best of all half of it takes place in uck-hickville Louisiana (not to be confused with Hick Fuckville, Louisiana). I have by me all of the books on the "don't let your child read this or they will become a sodomite" list. I am fucking having a blast, when guess who walks the flip flopity right up to me. That's right Pastor AssFuck McGee. And he goes "child, these books are not for children." To which I reply by saying nothing, picking up each book and checking them out. I walk out if the library, and I decide. Fuck you pastor AssFuck McGee. I am gonna read all if these books. 1 month later, my parents decide it's time to move, again. I'm chill with this. I hate this town. I hate this state. And I hate Paster AssFuck McGee and I don't even go to his church, but Kasey who sits by me during lunch does and she says that he's a "bleepity bleeping dumb slut" and I don't know how Kasey knows that Pastor AssFuck McGee is a slut, but I trust her opinion on it, and while I normally don't shame people for their sex lives I was willing to make an exception just for Pastor AssFuck McGee However, if we move I have to return my library books But I can't. I haven't finished reading all fucking 23 books, 2 magazines, and the informational pamphlet on th control. So I decided I hated Pastor AssFuck McGee and loved books more than I cared about the law. So l packed all of the library books up and move with them. I said fuck it. I'm gonna steal all of this. I was sure as fuck about to commit my first felony. We move to Arizona. I get enrolled into a new school one day in the snazy new computer lab I boot up the computer, that terrible fucking dial up noise hurts my ears and I'm convinced God isn't real, becouse if he was he wouldn't allow for that God awful fucking noise. I sign on to my AOL. I have an email. It's from the library in Louisiana. My books are late. I delete the email. I delete the email every week when they send it out. Fast forward too late 2016. I am feeling the nostalgic, I decide to log into my old AOL account I have been on it in over 5 years. I am stunned. I have an email. My books are late. I owe around $5000. I sighn out of my AOL. I never sighn back in. I go to bed that night and I whisper. "Fuck you Pastor AssFuck McGee. mes in this story have been changed to protect individuals) (Na The story of a library fine [x-post r/almostpoetry]
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Books, Children, and Chill: 6:18 PM 45% Bakuryobaku's Posts sondsheim: bakuryobaku: sondsheim: reblog and put the highest library late fee you've ever paid in the tags Ok so the highest I have paid is $20 the highest I have is $5000 and still counting and I'm never going back to Louisiana again. There's gotta be a good story behind that $5000 fine Ok kiddo's sit the heckety down and hold onto your hats and broomsticks. The year is 2006. The setting, hick-fuckville Louisiana. I am but a humble child sitting in my local library reading all of the books that my school library banned, but they kept in the local library to show adults, so that way they can "warn them, becouse if your child is reading these books they are possessed by Satan." This is the place where I got my first copy of Anne Rice's "Interview with the Vampire" which had all if my favorite things, a male/male relationship, vampires, the Victorian age, and best of all half of it takes place in Fuck-hickville Louisiana (not to be confused with Hick-Fuckville, Louisiana). I have by me all of the books on the "don't let your child read this or they will become a sodomite" list. I am fucking having a blast, when guess who walks the flip flopity right up to me. That's right. Pastor AssFuck McGee. And he goes "child, these books are not for children." To which I reply by saying nothing, picking up each book and checking them out. I walk out if the library, and I decide. Fuck you pastor AssFuck McGee. I am gonna read all if these books. 1 month later, my parents decide it's time to move, again. I'm chill with this. I hate this town. I hate this state. And I hate Paster AssFuck McGee and I don't even go to his church, but Kasey who sits by me during lunch does and she says that he's a "bleepity bleeping dumb slut" and I don't know how Kasey knows that Pastor AssFuck McGee is a slut, but I trust her opinion on it, and while I normally don't shame people for their sex lives I was willing to make an exception just for Pastor AssFuck McGee. However, if we move I have to return my library books. But I can't. I haven't finished reading all fucking 23 books, 2 magazines, and the informational pamphlet on birth control. So I decided I hated Pastor AssFuck McGee and loved books more than I cared about the law. So I packed all of the library books up and move with them. I said fuck it. I'm gonna steal all of this. I was sure as fuck about to commit my first felony. We move to Arizona. I get enrolled into a new school - one day in the snazy new computer lab I boot up the computer, that terrible fucking dial up noise hurts my ears and I'm convinced God isn't real, becouse if he was he wouldn't allow for that God awful fucking noise. I sign on to my AOL. I have an email. It's from the library in Louisiana. My books are late. I delete the email. I delete the email every week when they send it out. Fast forward too late 2016. I am feeling the nostalgic, I decide to log into my old AOL account I have been on it in over 5 years. I am stunned. I have an email. My books are late. I owe around $5000. I sighn out of my AOL. I never sighn back in. I go to bed that night and I whisper. "Fuck you Pastor AssFuck McGee." (Names in this sto ry have been changed to protect individuals ) Library Late Fee
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Advice, Alive, and Anaconda: Pro football player leaves behind $37 million contract to become a farmer POSTED 249 PM, NOVEMBER 17, 2014, BY FOX 4 NEWSROOM AND KASEY BABBITT, UPDATED AT 05:59PM, NOVEMBER 17 2014 fFACEBOOK 00 yTWITTER四 PPINTEREST g+ GOOGLE ǐn LINKEDIN。 EMAIL 10K+ 21 Ex-NFL star finds new passion in farming LOUISBURG, N.C. - ANFL player has left behind his $37 million contract in order to do something he has never done before: become a North Carolina farmer. According to CBS News, St. Louis Rams center Jason Brown quit football to be a full time farmer and now is on a mission to feed the state's residents who are hungry Brown purchased 1,000 acres of farm land and has started growing crops like sweet potatoes and cucumbers "My agent told me, You're making the biggest mistake of your life," Brown told CBS "And I looked right back at him and I said, 'No l'm not. No I'm not." Brown learned the tricks of the trade from none other than watching videos on YouTube, since he had never actually farmed a day in his life. He also spent time gathering advice from local farmers in Louisburg He is calling the farm, the "First Fruits Farm," and as part of his plan, Brown is donating the first fruits of every harvest to area food pantries. He just recently finished his first harvest of a five acre plot of sweet potatoes; a whopping 100,000 pounds of food, which he donated to the needy He says his plan was inspired by God, and believes a life of service is much more fulfilling than his previous line of work When you see them pop up out of the ground, man, it's the most beautiful thing you could ever see," Brown said, who says he's never felt more successful With his farm he plans to make a dent in his state's hunger population. <p><a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://caragh.tumblr.com/post/145781500883">caragh</a>:</p><blockquote> <p><a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://sashayed.tumblr.com/post/145780848790">sashayed</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://spacenoot.tumblr.com/post/136533657648">spacenoot</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://beldaran.tumblr.com/post/103127591014">beldaran</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://jumpingjacktrash.tumblr.com/post/103077578194">jumpingjacktrash</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p>you go, you beautiful person. you fuckin <em>go</em>.</p> </blockquote> <p>YES FUCK YES</p> </blockquote> <p>No ok but I actually met him. Several of my colleagues and students were hired to do some assessments for several manmade and natural ponds on his property. He wanted to maintain them with several different fish populations so that kids nearby could fish and have a good time. </p> <p>While we were working he rode up in his four wheeler with a terrified look on his face. I never thought I would see a former football player on the verge of tears, but boy howdy he nearly was. Several of us stop what we were doing and go over to see what was up. </p> <p>“I was running the tractor through the field and almost hit a fawn.” He says.</p> <p>Now, for reference, it’s pretty common to have farmers run over and kill fawns. The defense mechanism of fawns when they are young is to lay down low and not move…which obviously isn’t great for when there’s a tractor. It happens all the time, but it can be pretty bloody. It’s not a pretty sight.</p> <p>So, thinking that maybe such a gory scene unnerved him and that we may have to dispose of the body, I say “Mr. Brown, is the fawn still alive?” </p> <p>He says “Yes, I took it to the barn…but I’m afraid the mom won’t take it back because it has human scent on it.”</p> <p>The myth about “human scent” is a common one, but it’s just that…a myth. But still, this guy was absolutely terrified that this little deer was going to live the first few weeks of its life without a parent. He was distraught. </p> <p>Luckily my professor/boss was like “Don’t worry Mr. Brown, if you return the fawn relatively close to the spot that you found it, the mother will come back. The human scent thing is just a myth. The fawn will be alright, just be sure to keep the barn quiet so that the fawn doesn’t panic.” </p> <p>Mr. Brown’s face lit up and he let out a sigh of relief. “Thank God” he said “I was so worried.”</p> <p>And that’s the story of how I met the sweetest man ever: Mr. Jason Brown.</p> </blockquote> <p><figure class="tmblr-full" data-orig-height="616" data-orig-width="621"><img src="https://78.media.tumblr.com/9e72a48be3f1e3ae8270595ec90baed0/tumblr_inline_o8mxi9TDuk1qcq7oa_540.png" data-orig-height="616" data-orig-width="621"/></figure></p> <p><a href="https://twitter.com/WiseFarmerBrown/status/738375461714169856/video/1">fyi Jason Brown is still the cutest</a></p> </blockquote> <p>I can’t believe this is a real story, but it’s a real story. </p> </blockquote>
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