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Aladdin, Barbie, and Batman: feynites.tumblr.com minesottafatspoollegend i love in fantasy when its like "king galamir the mighty golden eagle and his most trusted advisor who would never betray him, gruelworm bloodeye the treacherous When my sister and I were kids we had this one action figure, who was actually a brutalized batman doll without his cape (the dog chewed half his head, too), who we dubbed 'Evil Chancellor Traytor'. The idea was that in the fictional society of our toys, 'chancellor' just came with the word ‘evil, in front of it, as a matter of ancient tradition. Like grand, or high, or something along those lines Anyway, the running gag was that the king (an old Power Rangers knock-off doll) had absolute and unwavering faith in Evil Chancellor Traytor, who basically comported himself like a mix between Grima Wormtongue and Jafar from the Aladdin movies. Everyone was always sure that Evil Chancellor Traytor had something to do with the nefarious scheme of the day. The dude even carried around a poisoned knife called 'the kingslayer The additional twist on the joke, though, was that he never was behind anything. The king was actually right. Evil Chancellor Traytor was the most devoted civil servant in the entire Action Figure Dystopia. He spent his nights working on writing up new legislature to ensure that broken toys had access to mobility devices, was always on the lookout to acquire new shoeboxes for expanding city infrastructure, and drafted a proposal that once got half the 'settlement' in my sister and I's closet moved to the upper shelf so that vulnerable toys were less likely to be snatched up by the dog The knife, as it turned out, was as symbolic as the 'evi in his name. See, Action Figure Dystopia had a long history of corrupted monarchs getting too big for their thrones and exploiting the underclasses. The job of the Evil Chancellor was to always remain vigilant, and loyally serve a good ruler or, if the regent should became a despot, to slay them on behalf of the people But since killing the king would be a terrible crime, the Evil Chancellor had to be the kind of person who would willingly die to spare the people from the plight of a wicked leader because the murder would be pinned on them, in order to keep the 'machinery of politics working as smoothly as ever Anyway, Evil Chancellor Traytor had a diary, in which my sister I would take turns writing out the most over-the-top good shit he'd done behind the scenes. Usually after everyone else had finished talking shit about him. I don't know why but we got the biggest kick out of being like Barbie With the Unfortunate Haircut: Oh that Evil Chancellor Traytor! Why can't the king see how wicked he is?! Charmander From the Vending Machine: Char! Jurassic Park Toy of Jeff Goldblum With Disturbingly Realistic Face: At least if someone puts a knife in the king's back, we'll know where to look! Evil Chancellor Traytor's Diary: Today I was feeding ducks at the park when I noticed another legless action figure sitting by the benches. I put a hundred dollars into his bag while he wasn't looking. I really need to increase budgeting to the medical treatment centers. If only we had enough glue, I think we would see far fewer toys trying to get by without limbs insert iconic evil laugh Anyway, Evil Chancellor Traytor eventually fell victim to one of my mom's cleaning sprees and she decided he was too busted up to keep and tossed him out. My littler brother, who tended to follow my sister and I's games like he was watching a daily soap opera, cried so hard that we had to do a special 'episode' where one of the toys found the Evil Chancellor's diary, and so he got a big huge memorial and the king threw himself into the empty grave and then ordered the toys driving the toy bulldozer to bury him so that Traytor's grave would have a body' (this seemed very important for some reason) And then we had the Quest For a New King. Somehow or another that ended up being a giant rubber snake called Tyrant King Cobra (via besiderunningwaters) #my apologies for rambling #but it has been a long time since i thought about traytor #and that suddenly reminded me of him H APR 201 SOURCE SWEETBABYRAYSGOURMETSAUCES 78,236 NOTES The Unforgettable Tale of Evil Chancellor Traytor
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Aladdin, Bad, and Barbie: C ,d 40%. 11:52 PM minesottafatspoollegend i love in fantasy when its like "king galamir the mighty golden eagle and his most trusted advisor who would never betray him, gruelworm bloodeye the treacherous" es When my sister and I were kids we had this one action figure, who was actually a brutalized batman doll without his cape (the dog chewed half his head, too), who we dubbed 'Evil Chancellor Traytor. The idea was that in the fictional society of our toys, chancellor just came with the word 'evil in front of it, as a matter of ancient tradition Like 'grand' or 'high' or something along those lines Anyway, the running gag was that the king (an old Power Rangers knock-off doll) had absolute and unwavering faith in Evil Chancel- lor Traytor, who basically comported himself like a mix between Grima Wormtongue and Jafar from the Aladdin movies. Everyone was always sure that Evil Chancellor Traytor had something to do with the nefarious scheme of the day. The dude even carried around a poisoned knife called 'the kingslayer The additional twist on the joke, though, was that he never was behind anything. The king was actually right. Evil Chancellor Traytor was the most devoted civil servant in the entire Action Figure Dystopia. He spent his nights working on writing up new legislature to ensure that b mobility devices, was always on the lookout to acquire new shoeboxes for expanding city infrastructure, and drafted a proposal that once got half the 'settlement' in my sister and I's closet moved to the upper shelf so that vulnerable toys were less likely to be snatched roken toys had access to the dog The knife, as it turned out, was as symbolic as the evil in his name. See, Action Figure Dystopia had a long history of corrupted monarchs getting too big for their thrones and exploiting the underclasses. The job of the Evil Chancellor was to always remain vigilant, and loyally serve a good ruler-or, if the regent should became a despot, to slay them on behalf of the people But since killing the king would be a terrible crime, the Evil Chancellor had to be the kind of person who would willingly die to spare the people from the plight of a wicked leader, because the murder would be pinned on them, in order to keep the 'machinery of politics working as smoothly as ever Anyway, Evil Chancellor Traytor had a diary in which my sister I would take turns writing out the most over-the-top good shit he'd done behind the scenes. Usually after everyone else had finished talking shit about him. I don't know why but we got the biggest kick out of in Barbie With the Unfortunate Haircut: Oh that Evil Chancellor Traytor! Why can't the king see how wicked he is?! Charmander From the Vending Machine: Char! Jurassic Park Toy of Jeff Goldblum With Disturbingly Realistic Face: At least if someone puts a knife in the king's back, we'll know where to look! Evil Chancellor Traytor's Diary: Today I was feeding ducks at the park when I noticed another legless action figure sitting by the benches. I put a hundred dollars into his bag while he wasn't looking. I really need to increase budgeting to the medical treatment centers. If only we had enough glue, I think we would see far fewer toys trying to get by without limbs... insert iconic evil laugh* Anyway, Evil Chancellor Traytor eventually fell victim to one of my mom's cleaning sprees, and she decided he was too busted up to keep and tossed him out. My littler brother, who tended to follow my sister and I's games like he was watching a daily soap opera, cried so hard that we had to do a special 'episode where one of the toys found the Evil Chancellor's diary, and so he got a big huge memorial and the king threw himself into the empty grave and then ordered the toys driving the toy bulldozer to bury him so that 'Traytors grave would have a body' (this seemed very important for some reason) And then we had the Quest For a New King Somehow or another that ended up being a giant rubber snake called Tyrant King Cobra Source: sweetbabyr aysgourmetsauces 79,144 notes I want this to be an actual soap so bad
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Animals, Aww, and Cats: CHEETAHS ARE VERY NERVOUS ANIMALS AND SOME ZOOS GIVE THEM "SUPPORT VOGS" TO KEEP THEM RELAXED PAT AT PAT YOURE SO AMAZING! PAT AT PAT THANKS PAT PAT @XERGİON mallorierocks09: benteja: holmesandtheroman: madlori: tastefullyoffensive: by Xergion This is true! The zoo where I volunteer (the illustrious Columbus Zoo Aquarium) was one of the pioneers of this program. Our zoo is known for raising cheetah cubs. Cheetahs have a terrible infant mortality rate and cubs are often rejected, so we get a lot of cubs to raise from all over the country (other zoos and sanctuaries, mostly). The cubs are placed with a puppy friend when they are wee and small, so they grow up together like littermates. They play together, wrestle, and the dogs (yellow Labs) are so calm, friendly and well-socialized that the cheetahs take behavioral cues from them. When they meet new people, or go into new situations (which they often do, as ambassador animals for cheetah conservation), they check out if their dog friend is feeling chill - which he is - and then they know it’s okay for them to be chill, too. Basically the dog is a service animal for them. The cats need their dog friends less and less as they get older and more comfortable, but they still often hang out as grownups. Our zoo does cheetah runs, where the cheetahs get to chase a lure and show off their speed. Often they’ll have one of the cheetahs run (we have like twelve cheetah), and then they’ll have one of the dogs do the run to show how much faster the cats are. People get a kick out of that. The dogs…let’s just say they try their best. DISNEY MOVIE ABOUT CHEETAH GOING ON A JOURNEY TO FIND HER SILLY DOGGO FRIEND Disney Cheetah and Doggo? HAD TO SKETCH IT! I can’t even breathe, ONE AWW AND BREATHLESS!

mallorierocks09: benteja: holmesandtheroman: madlori: tastefullyoffensive: by Xergion This is true! The zoo where I volunteer (the illus...

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Animals, Cats, and Chill: CHEETAHS ARE VERY NERVOUS ANIMALS AND SOME ZOOS GIVE THEM "SUPPORT VOGS" TO KEEP THEM RELAXED PAT AT PAT YOURE SO AMAZING! PAT AT PAT THANKS PAT PAT @XERGİON benteja: holmesandtheroman: madlori: tastefullyoffensive: by Xergion This is true! The zoo where I volunteer (the illustrious Columbus Zoo Aquarium) was one of the pioneers of this program. Our zoo is known for raising cheetah cubs. Cheetahs have a terrible infant mortality rate and cubs are often rejected, so we get a lot of cubs to raise from all over the country (other zoos and sanctuaries, mostly). The cubs are placed with a puppy friend when they are wee and small, so they grow up together like littermates. They play together, wrestle, and the dogs (yellow Labs) are so calm, friendly and well-socialized that the cheetahs take behavioral cues from them. When they meet new people, or go into new situations (which they often do, as ambassador animals for cheetah conservation), they check out if their dog friend is feeling chill - which he is - and then they know it’s okay for them to be chill, too. Basically the dog is a service animal for them. The cats need their dog friends less and less as they get older and more comfortable, but they still often hang out as grownups. Our zoo does cheetah runs, where the cheetahs get to chase a lure and show off their speed. Often they’ll have one of the cheetahs run (we have like twelve cheetah), and then they’ll have one of the dogs do the run to show how much faster the cats are. People get a kick out of that. The dogs…let’s just say they try their best. DISNEY MOVIE ABOUT CHEETAH GOING ON A JOURNEY TO FIND HER SILLY DOGGO FRIEND Disney Cheetah and Doggo? HAD TO SKETCH IT!

benteja: holmesandtheroman: madlori: tastefullyoffensive: by Xergion This is true! The zoo where I volunteer (the illustrious Columbus Zo...

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Animals, Cats, and Chill: CHEETAHS ARE VERY NERVOUS ANIMALS AND SOME ZOOS GIVE THEM "SUPPORT VOGS" TO KEEP THEM RELAXED PAT AT PAT YOURE SO AMAZING! PAT AT PAT THANKS PAT PAT @XERGİON madlori: tastefullyoffensive: by Xergion This is true! The zoo where I volunteer (the illustrious Columbus Zoo Aquarium) was one of the pioneers of this program. Our zoo is known for raising cheetah cubs. Cheetahs have a terrible infant mortality rate and cubs are often rejected, so we get a lot of cubs to raise from all over the country (other zoos and sanctuaries, mostly). The cubs are placed with a puppy friend when they are wee and small, so they grow up together like littermates. They play together, wrestle, and the dogs (yellow Labs) are so calm, friendly and well-socialized that the cheetahs take behavioral cues from them. When they meet new people, or go into new situations (which they often do, as ambassador animals for cheetah conservation), they check out if their dog friend is feeling chill - which he is - and then they know it’s okay for them to be chill, too. Basically the dog is a service animal for them. The cats need their dog friends less and less as they get older and more comfortable, but they still often hang out as grownups. Our zoo does cheetah runs, where the cheetahs get to chase a lure and show off their speed. Often they’ll have one of the cheetahs run (we have like twelve cheetah), and then they’ll have one of the dogs do the run to show how much faster the cats are. People get a kick out of that. The dogs…let’s just say they try their best.

madlori: tastefullyoffensive: by Xergion This is true! The zoo where I volunteer (the illustrious Columbus Zoo Aquarium) was one of the pio...

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Being Alone, Beautiful, and Children: My son told me about a dead woman with blue skin, no hair, and black eyes who supposedly lived in our old follow us outside and try to get in our car but there was no room so she stood outside and watched us leave while I work with kids on the autism spectrum. One of them said: They can see us, but we can't see them." My daughter (age 3) woke me up in the middle of the night "momma, do you hear that breathingItold her that was me breathing, She said in a low voice "no momma, be very quiet and lilsten". I didn't hear anything but we slept with lights on the rest of the months early. Spent almost 3 months in the hospltal. As soon as my son and daughter in law brought her home, every now and then they would smell cigarette smole in the house and nelther of them smoked. Isabella would point to the walls whenever this would mom, known as Mimi. As soon as Isabella started talking she would ask about Mimi. 1 am not a church gaing girl!! She's4 now and still occasionally out of the blue will say she misses One night, when my daughter was 2 years old, she woke and could not get in bed and 1 took our daughter on my lap under a blanket in a chair. We were both a bit drowsy when she suddenly raised up her head and said:"Hello" towards the wall where the door was. As my heart started racing, she as if she was on the phone with She stopped when I called my husband. I jokingly asked: "What's the best way 7-year-old's response: "Tell her to be my girlfriend or she'll never see her passing me cake". I dutifully eat each "It was poison. You died." Oh, okay She then proceeded to "chop me up mix my chopped parts with some spice in a pot, and then serve the resulting Edit We have a lot of these, figured that'd be the one you guys would get the most kick out of, but we have quite I was babysitting a family friend's kid and it was just the two of us in the whispered to me: "We're not alone in My son was4 years old at the time, we and he got this really scared look on his face and said he wanted to go back inside. I asked him what was wrong and he pointed to the street (where nothing was there) and said the monster was staring at him. Seeing as how I krnow children can see things we cannot, I took that baby inside and said a prayer! My youngest daughter, who is now 25 used to wake up in middle of the night between ages 3 and 7 and tell me the beautiful angel was in her room watching over her, and that she was dressed in white with glorious white wings. She would say don't you see how beautiful she is mommy? Many years later between 18 and 22 once again the lady in white would show up, and even speal to her. There was one time L actually heard someone say, are yo alright with my own ears plain as day me, she turned around and look at me and said, why wouldn't I be okay? That's when it dawned on me our angel was asking her and I had the pleasure if and stories will I want to thank you all for your contribution children related story, either it's creepy, sacd, fun or strange, and you consider it worthy of sharing, don't forget to send it to me at Kids can say creepy things ( Part 10)

Kids can say creepy things ( Part 10)

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Books, Children, and Definitely: Metro @MetroUK # t.L Follow Pregnant woman completes her psychology exam while in labour trib.al/fhxzJd4 mymindinaclusterfuck: thoughtsof-r: danielle-mertina: march27thoughts: blackademics: the-freckled-feminist: writingjenna: hermionxjean: 56blogsstillcrazy: Black women something amazing Okay, but what professor was such an asshole that they wouldn’t let a woman in labor do a makeup exam? You know someone said some shit and she felt like she HAD to do that exam, labor or no. OK true story from one of my professors: She got pregnant while getting her PhD. Not planned, but it would work out that she would do her lit review (where she had a massive list of books she had to spend two hours talking about) a month before her baby was due. Plenty of time, right? Well, her daughter came a month early. On the day that she scheduled her lit review. So she’s in labor with a baby that’s four weeks early, she calls up her male professors that are going to be doing her lit review, and they say that squeezing a human being out of your vagina isn’t a good enough reason to cancel. She can’t reschedule, they’ll just fail her. And my professor will have none of that. They agree to have the lit review at the hospital, but they kick out all nurses and doctors because you can’t have anyone else in the room. (like the nurses are really going to be secret undercover English professors who will whisper to her answers about Virginia Woolf). So for two hours while my professor was in labor, these male professors are hounding her about early 20th century British literature and the nurses are just about losing it and as soon as it’s finish they rush back in to make sure everything is okay. And the best part of it is that my professor was so focused, so determined to pass and not let her 5 years of work end in a failure, that she says she didn’t feel any pain for those two hours. WHILE IN LABOR. Fucking men. Seriously. YOU CAN’T TELL ME NOTHING BLACK WOMEN ARE JUST SUPERHEROES this is so unfair!!! she should sue them!!!!!!!!!!!!!! These are definitely amazing women but these situations shouldn’t even have happened. It’s so misogynist how inhospitable higher ed is to mothers. Whereas fathers don’t suffer anywhere near these consequences for having children while in school. GIVING BIRTH IS NOT A GOOD ENOUGH REASON>????CZVNJAKNKNJADMF Both the ridiculousness of the men and this woman’s constitution are something else
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Animals, Bad, and Crazy: 1. An exaggerated, charming personality A psychopath will put on what professionals refer to as a mask of sanity that is likeable and pleasant. He/she will play into every fantasy and insecurity you have and do good deeds to gain your trust 2. Over-the-top flattery If he or she seems to be all over your business complimenting every single atom you possess, the hyper-complimentary behavior is called love bombing, and it's supposed to get you hooked 3. Triangulation Psychopaths "love to work you up into a state of obsessive frenzy, so that you basically become obsessed with them. TheyU then purposely try to make you jealous and pull away, which is called 4. They think they're really, really awesome and mighty They are all about their bods, the facial regimen, the looks. They think the rules don't apply to them or that the world owes them something. This nflated sense of self is a classic sign of psychopathy. 5. No real signs of remorse Psychos are incapable of showing palpable efforts of remarse or guilt. If you notice that your buddy is acting very nonchalantly about accidentally killing pets, then you may want to re-evaluate that 6. Unreachable, grandiose goals and plans (or none at all) Much like the whole "Tm Superman" thing. psychopaths have pretty crazy plans. And nat just Tm going back to law school" plans, more like, Tm going to be a millionaire after Imove to Hollywood and once that happens, Fll buy you a house in Malibu plans. Either that, or a psycho will have no plans whatsoever 盥 A pcpular trait amongst psychos is impulsive. unpredictable behavior 8. Revealing everything like it's a joke A psycho sometimes gives his or herself away for no reason at all this person will suddenly say, Haha, I'm totally psycho, LOL. JK but they are totally not LOLing or JKing. This is a tactic of keeping you off balance 9. Pathological lying Lying for no reason at all is probably one of the most popular signs someone is a psycho, but it could also just mean this person is just really weird and wants attention. 10. Constantly needing to be entertained Psychopaths will constantly seek out entertainment for themselves and stimulation, because staying still is not really not easy for them. 11. Treats other people (and animals) like garbage This kind of behavior spans from general manipulation to, uh, murder. Someone's personality is usually pretty transparent if you see them belittling people, making fun of them, getting a kick out of embarrassing them, ar physically hurting them. 12. Fast movers t a guy or girl has issues with you maintaining boundaries or wanting to go at a slow pace, nstead of going along with their desire to move fast, it may be a red flag. 13. Have to be right all the time One key characteristic of psychopaths is flying off the handle at even the smallest suggestion that they're wrong or that someone is better informed than them. Signs to consider include starting to feel weary of pointing out his errors for fear of him arguing with you or it he always has to have the last word and cant ever admit he/she's wrong. 14. History of messy relationships Being in a string of bad relationships isn't necessarily a tip-off. However, it's how they talk about those failed relationships that matters they speak badly about their previous partners, are proud of having left a trail of heartbreak behind them, or are unable to own up to their personal shortcomings in the relationships, there may be something more serious at play. SCAPE AS SOON ASYOU CAN 14 Warning Signs That Youre Dating A Psychopath

14 Warning Signs That Youre Dating A Psychopath

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Fire, Love, and Omg: the-independent-jew One thing I love about Judaism is that long involved conversations about things like "can a zombie attend shul?" or "can i use my pet dragon to light candles on shabbat?" or "is meat from a replicator kosher?" are seen as completely normal westsemiteblues Yes, but it should avoid contact with a Cohen if it can, and if the dragon is a Gentile sure, why not, a pet dragon is an ideal Shabbos goy, since it probably lives with you, and will get a kick out of helping. If it's a Jewish dragon, though, no, it's better for you to do it yourself rather than cause another Jew to violate Shabbat. adrivenleaf Wait wait... if a jew owned the dragon as a pet wouldn't using the beast's labor to light candles be pretty explicitly prohibited? westsemiteblues Good point. is the dragon property, or is it a roommate? hagar-972 l think it was ruled that one may allow a dragon to ignite a fire if (a) the dragon is non-sapient, and preventing them from lighting the fire would be animal cruelty, or (b) the dragon is sapient, non-Jewish and not in indentured service ardatli And one cannot bring a dragon into a household for the express purpose of lighting candles at a later date, since the Jew would be directly benefiting from the dragon's actions on Shabbat. But if the dragon just happens to live there already and feels the urge to light candles, it should not be stopped from doing so-as the sages said: "the same candle that benefits one can be used to benefit one hundred." (Shulchan Aruch HaRav, 276:6) spaceisprettycool This was a thrill from start to finish Source: the-independent-jew 11,853 notes Can I use my pet dragon to light candles on Shabbat?omg-humor.tumblr.com

Can I use my pet dragon to light candles on Shabbat?omg-humor.tumblr.com

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