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Blessed, Huh, and Meme: @oscarewilde i received this comically large pencil as a gift several years ago and my first thought, understandably, was 'what the christ am i meant to do with this?' @oscarewilde the 2nd thought i had was: I'm Quite Certain I Could Ruin Someone's Day With This. And so a while ago i took it in with me to a lecture, hoping against hope that whichever poor Fool was unfortunate enough to sit next to me might have forgotten or misplaced their writing implement @oscarewilde utilising The Pencil is also dependent on the person not using a laptop. So the chances of success are extraordinarily slim, and I've only managed to find suitable candidates three times in all of the dozens of occasions i've had The Pencil on my person @oscarewilde i size up my target, watching them feign patting their pockets in vain for the ballpoint they so obviously left at home, and i wait, i wait for the blessed question.... Do You Have A Pen I Could Borrow? @oscarewilde Oh, i say, 'I'm so sorry; I only have a pencil. That's fine!' i hear them say, distantly now, as the blood is rushing to my ears andican barely hear them. Imaintain a straight face. This is key to the delivery and the final blow @oscarewilde Ireach into my bag for The Pencil. The look of utter dumbfounded misery as i hand it to the victim is unparalleled in its sweetness. In an instant their eyes flicker through the 5 stages of grief, landing on acceptance, as they realise it's This or Nothing @oscarewilde still maintaining that eye contact i smile, only the tiniest fraction, the unspoken words forming between us. 'What are you gonna do now, huh? You feeling lucky, kiddo? Buddy? Buckaroo? You gonna kick up a fuss in this silent lecture theatre? Huh? Or will you take The Pencil? @oscarewilde they Always take the pencil ifynny.co Tap to see the meme

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Apparently, Beautiful, and Children: Seanan McGuire @seananmcguire Oh, wow. Little girl in full meltdown because when her mom packed movies for the trip, she only packed the little boy's favorites 6/13/17, 4:02 PM 460 RETWEETS 1,625 LIKES Seanan McGuire@seananmcguire 1h Replying to @seananmcguire "FINDING NEMO is just as good," says Mom "DORY IS A GIRL LIKE ME AND YOU ONLY BROUGHT BOYS LIKE HIM," wails the girl I feel you, kiddo わ2 51 925 Mom is now asking girl to be reasonable, as apparently boy gets mad when he has to watch "girl" movies, and "You're more mature." わ35 42 620 Seanan McGuire@seananmcguire 1h I am so on this kid's side right now you have no idea 28 1,121 Seanan McGuire@seananmcguire 1h Little boy has joined conversation: "I like MOANA she likes MOANA we should do MOANA." A protest singalong has begun h1 56 931 Seanan McGuire@seananmcguire 1h Mom: "Don't disturb the other--" Both kids: "YOU'RE WELCOME YOU'RE WELCOME YOU'RE WELCOME." Mom--passengers. わ2 다 47 902 YOU SCREAM LIKE THE VENGEFUL MONSTERS YOU ARE, CHILDREN. YOU SCREAM ロ61 1,149 Seanan McGuire@seananmcguire 1h Update: l am now on the mom's shit list for helping with the lyrics to "Shiny." Both children now shriek-singing "SHIIIINYYYYYY." I wirn 24 54 Seanan McGuireネ@seananmcgure·1h Little girl now singing "How Far l'll Go" while little boy has launched into "Let It Go." Mom appears to need a drink. YOU EARNED THIS, MOM 12 46 1,047 Seanan McGuire@seananmcguire 1h Mom: You're disturbing people! Older woman with German accent: Do you want to know how the song goes in German? GERMAN GRANDMOTHER NOW TEACHING US DISNEY SONGS IN GERMAN. JAPANESE GRANDMOTHER INCHING CLOSER 15 136 Seanan McGuire@seananmcguire 1h MOM LOOKS TRAPPED, CHILDREN ARE DELIGHTED, THIS IS THE BEST DAY EVER 13 47 1,428 Seanan McGuire@seananmcguire 1h I am like, 95% sure both of these grandmothers would adopt these children if given half a chance 29 1,026 Seanan McGuire @seananmcguire·1h Japanese grandmother has a beautiful singing voice, and is teaching us "Do You Want To Build A Snowman?" 10 52 Seanan McGuire@seananmcguire 1h We have attracted several more children and three more grandparents. I feel my work here is done peaceheather: linssweater: This thread omg ALWAYS reblog
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