🔥 Popular | Latest

Advice, America, and Bless Up: The moment you tell her to 'go get it! Say bruh have u ever craved flaming hot Cheetos covered in nacho cheese and jalapeños with a sundae next to it that has mangoes, ice cream, sprinkles, a banana and a whole bunch of other sweet delicious things that don’t necessarily go together? “Smash is u pregnant? U suppose to be a man? Where these cravings come from?” I am a man and I am not pregnant cot damn it is called leg day at the gym and my quads jello RN and this place is real asf it is called La Michoacana 🍦😍. You do not have to be carrying a baby to enjoy this heavenly place, but if you are, it probably make it that much better 🤰🏻. You can find these joints everywhere. There are a bunch in Chicago and they are splendid. “wow smash you really gon stunt on us like that, I live in Bombacrab Missouri, we don’t have anything that spicy here.” BISH YES U DO, LOOK 👏 FOR 👏 THE 👏 MEXICANS 👏😂. I been telling y’all they got treasures for days u just gotta be exploratory. Perhaps a Mangonada? Lil mango wif chamoy sauce, mangos, lime juice, chili powder? “HOT SPICES ON FRUIT SMASH U EITHER WILDING OR U REALLY MEXICAN.” well I am not Mexican so that mean I am wilding, yes, AND? 😂 just put in ya mouth. personally I eat a$$ so I’ll try anything once ... my palette very experimental 🥳. The worst that can happen is that you love it and then you start making mangonada for yourself and then put on your tinder profile that you make a mean mangonada and you get swiped by a young investment banker named Julio who grew up around Mexico city and then got a degree in engineering and moved to America to kill it in banking and now you getting married and taking trips first class on his frequent flyer miles and your friend Megan is like “damn my boyfriend Jim is still sleeping on my couch, playing fork knife on my TV and stealing money out of my purse how did you get to be balling like this?” And you can say I took smash’s advice and started making spicy mango drinks and now I’m pregnant with my third mixed baby and we going to Paris next month. Boom! Bless up 😍😂
Energy, Facts, and Friends: Care to debate abortion? factori0 kiwianaroha prochoice-or-gtfo motherbychoice Nah Mood This reminds me of a party I went to last year. I was standing with some friends, chatting, and someone said something that indirectly implied that sexism exists. Some trivial recounting of the basic facts of daily life for most women. Something so mild, so uncontroversial, so mundane that I don't even remember what it was Suddenly, this man standing on the outskirts of our conversational circle piped up with "actually, I think men are more discriminated against than women these days." All conversation died l turned to look at him and he had this smug, insufferable grin on his face relishing this moment, expecting us to waste our time and energy refuting this ridiculous thing he had just said The Devil's Advocate was among us And, in my mind, I saw the next 15+ minutes playing out. The parade of facts and statistics in a vain attempt to defend ourselves, our gender, and to prove that misogyny is real. The glib, snide denials from some shithead who is getting off on our pain and frustration. The Gish Gallop of bullshit that would take a whole evening to properly dismantle. It was depressing and overwhelming. I hated it. I had to kill it before it began So looked him dead in the eye and I said "OK," shrugged, and just walked away Nothing I have ever said to another human being has ever been so crushing As I walked away, I watched the smug grin vanish and confusion and anxiety set in. The rest of the group turned their backs to him and carried on as if he had never spoken - as if he was invisible. He was still staring at me when walked over to another friend and told her what he had said. I pointed him out for her and made direct eye contact with him while we both laughed tl;dr: Don't feed the troll. Let it perish, cold and hungry, in the wasteland of your indifference. It is weak and you are strong. Live your best life Trolls dont deserve your attention
5 Am, Being Alone, and America: This is how I like to wake my good girl. (🎥: reddit u-din7) Look bruv some of y’all smart like y’all just gon be successful in life on the strength of being hella smart alone. But some of y’all ain’t smart. Actually y’all dumb (low key 😂). But u wanna know some bruv? U CAN STILL ABSOLUTELY KILL IT IN LIFE. “Smash wayment. U saying even if I’m dumb I could kill it in corporate America? How Sway? 🤔” I’m absolutely saying that. I got clients that will take your breath away with they intellect - hell one CEO I work with is a biomedical engineer. He ain’t een have to stunt on em like that! He coulda had a lil state school MBA! Nah. He a PhD in a field that ain’t een applicable! He could be negotiating pricing on a multi million $ agreement and disagree with u and then then heck around and slice ya ear off then make u a substitute synthetic ear in a Petri dish and reattach it like “bam - no love lost - just wanted to biomedically engineer u right quick - this ear is bionic and will let u hear perfectly bless up.” But nah on the other end of the spectrum is executives who are just hella dumb. Couldn’t write an email without typos if they had a gun to they head. But u know what they are, bruv? Always and without fail? EARLY 😂. Dumb people in corporate America early as HELL bruh. U know I love our armed services and got nothing but respect for them bruv but do u know why it’s so many former soldiers - marines - Air Force in corporate America bruv? Not bc they naturally smarter - they just early! If u at ya desk sending email at 7 am bruv u look authoritative. Sharp. U feel me? Dedicated. Hell I got one client she get to work at 6! And another one that get to work at 5. FIVE 👏 A 👏 M 👏. Now look I’m not saying u HAVE to be at work at 7 am. I’m just saying if u DO, people will perceive u as a BOSS - even if u literally braindead. U feel me? Trick: I get up to pray early then go back schleep but before I do, I reply to emails from overnight. That way people like “wow he up at 5 am damn.” Nah. I’m up to email y’all a$$es before snoozing 😂. But if y’all wanna assume then good 😊. Either get to work early or email early (like my dumb a$$) - may God bless all of u in ya careers. Bless up! 😂😂😂