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Choose your buddy!: PICK A BEST FRIEND The Ork The Commissar The Necron The Space Marine The Noise Marine The Tyranid The Khornate Berzerker + Hilarious + Cool British Accent + Knows how to rock + Makes cool shit out of your garbage (potential profit!) - If he doesn't kll something that can put up a stuggle every week, he'll take it out + Has the best soundsystem you can imagine surgically attached to it + Pretty great DJ + Has, like, the exact same taste as you in music +(?) Has giant breasts - (?) Has a giant dick +- (?) It really wants to have INCRÉDIBLY kinky sex like, all the time -Terrible fashion sense -(?) If you hang out with them too much, you're gonna get into hard drugs, crazy body modification, and shit involving tentacles. No way around it. + Best wingman in the world + Will tell you, without fail, the proper course of action in any given situation + Honorable + Loyal + Great stories + Will always help you when you need it + Women are attracted to him in droves, but he isn't interested so he introduces them to you - Arrogant - Talks down to you at times - Pretty bigoted - Honestly kinda boring to hang out with + For some reason, this little guy accepts you into the hivemind + You are connected through it to trillions of other tyranids like it and telepathically have a constant feeling of community, entertainment, and love + For 10 years, it will hang out with you and be like, the most awesome pet ever. Crazy tricks, cutest shows of affection, will make you feel all warm inside +(?) Will eat the face off of anybody you want and leave no evidence - (?) After 10 years pass, its buddies arrive on earth and eat everybody but you Never talks -Is super creepy - Follows you everywhere - Constantly staring at you + Will protect you from harm at all times - Is always really, really pissed off. At you. And everything else. But mostly you. - Is constantly screaming - Always bitching about needing blood and skulls - Fuck he crazy - Fuck son - Calm down + If you put up with this guy's shit for a few years he will one day take off his helmet and impart upon you the secrets of the universe + These secrets will grant you nearly unlimited power - immortality, strength, speed, fighting prowess, it will all be yours - The secrets of the universe wilI REALLY piss you off + Follow his advice well and you will have happiness, power, and success +-(?) When you die, he will make you just like him - His advice isn't always easy to follow, or popular - You will make enemies doing what he tells you - He will shoot you in the head if you act like a coward too many times around him on you + Every time he attacks you, he replaces what he ripped apart/ate with cool robot parts - After 3 or 4 attacks, theres nothing of you left to salvage 人童皇習置 The Eldar The Tau The Son of Nurgle The Techpriest The Guardsman The Adepta Sororitas The Emperor - Will start off not liking you very much + If you earn his respect, he will lay down his life for you + Full of great advice + Introduces you to his fantastic sister who is pretty much your perfect woman + Is okay with you dating his sister if you aren't an ass + Always has witty things to +-(?) Serious Demeanor - Not much of a sense of humor - Kind of a jerk, really + The most amazing cook that will ever live - his cooking is a hundred times better than sex + So incredible at giving back massages you would kill your mother to get one, seriously -Good luck getting a back massage unless you have pointy ears +-(?) Also pretty good at ballet dancing and constantly practicing. + Very reasonable + Educated + Intelligent + Always hears you out - Somehow always seems like he gets what he wants from + He loves you + Really happy go lucky guy + Introduces you to all his friends and they like you too + Solid family values + Always insists on paying for both of you wherever you go because he's so + Has all the latest gadgets and will let you play with + She's pretty + Damn, look at her + So hot + Cute butt + Legs + Tits + Thighs Creamy skin + Mmm + Hmn - She isn't going to fuck you them + Good taste in video games + If you need to move furniture or something, he has an actual crane you regardless of what you want + It usually works out okay, though + Time spent with him is always pleasant Time spent with him is rarely exciting attached to his back +-(?) He's gay and will probably start to have feelings for generous He's also generous with his intenstine dissolving case of space aids + Space aids actually makes you live forever Space aids also makes you ugly as shit +-(?) Guess how he gives you space aids? you +(?) He has robot Tentacles - Doesn't like going anywhere without electrical outlets and wifi signals say + Brave + Loyal + Fantastic dude - He will die tragically right in front of you far before his time Choose your buddy!
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