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Code words for call center staff: Ou NOTIFICATION TO ALL STAFF REGARDING LANGUAGE It has been brought to our attention that Some individuals have been using foul language during the execution of their duties. Due to complaints from some employees who are more easily offended, this type of language will no longer be tolerated. However, we do realise the importance of staff being able to properly express their feelings when communicating with other employees. With this in mind the Human Resources section has compiled a list of"code phrase replacements" so the proper exchange of ideas and information can continue in an effective manner without risking offences to our more sensitive co-workers. OLD PHRASE NEW PHRASE I,m fairly sure that's not feasible Really No fucking way You're fucking kidding Tell someone "who gives a fuck" Have you run that by. No cunt told me I don't have the fuckin' time Who fucking cares Eat shit and die Eat shit and die motherfucker Kiss my arse He's fucking prick She's a bail-busting-bitch You have not got a fucking clue This place is fucked What sort of fuck-wit are you Fuck off shit-head You're a fuckin' wanker Ha, suck eggs You're fucking paranoid You're fucking useless Fuck off Fuck off dickhead How'd ya get this piece ot shit to work well done You fucking loser Iwasn't involved with that project Perhaps I can work late Are you sure that's a problem You don't say You don't say sir So,you would me to help you He's somewhat insensitive She's an aggressive go-getter You could use some more training We're a little disorganised today You're new here,aren't you Well there you go You're my supervisor and I respect you I wasn't there that day So...You're from Auckland So... You're from Takapuna I'll look into that and get back to you I no longer require your assistance Gee...that was unfortunate Code words for call center staff
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No one knows where Steve Coogan ends and Alan Partridge begins!: Clearing the air Dear colleague, I'm Alan Partridge and tonight sees my return to the BBC for the first time in two decades Yes, some 24 years after my last presenting gig, the BBC have sidied up to me with a short-term offer to co-present your much-loved magazine show This Time, standing in for John Baskell who's been taken ill. My response? Well, although my diary is as clogged as John's arteries (get well, Johnl) I have agreed to drop everything and step up. Now, some of you aren't going to like that. Some of you made clear when I left that I wouldn't be welcome back; a woman who worked in compliance called Karen or Kate or Kath who had long wavy hair and apparently still works here sneered so hard I thought her face would turn inside out But back I am, as evidenced by this, my own official BBC email address, And with it I reach out to you, my colleagues-not to gloat, or settle old scores, or say, Hey, Karen/Kate/Kath, why don't you kiss my arse'- but to be the bigger man and clear the air of any residual stench No, it's time for a clean slate and no hard feelings. Because I love the BBC and I always have. While others might say it's a smug anachronism full of braying, know-nothing chancers doling out fat commissions to their braying, know-nothing Oxbridge mates, I don't. I think the BBC is great and watch its programmes avidly, regardiess of their quality All I ask is that you return the favour. All of you. From on-screen talent right the way down to off-screen staff. I ask every one of this emails 20,000+ recipients to tune in tonight at 9.30pm on BBC One. Even if nobody else in the country does, we're already hitting the kind of numbers my shows were getting on Sky Atlantic. Spread the word to a few more and my viewing figures will show the upward trajectory management is bound to want a piece of So once again, please, please please, please tune in. Please tune in. Your colleague (and I am your colleague), Alan Partridge No one knows where Steve Coogan ends and Alan Partridge begins!
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Debate on parents kissing their children: "I like reading and listening to Radio Four": shared Manchester Evening News's 12 hrs Nothing wrong with this picture it's beautiful always kiss my little ones on the lips and always will. The people who think this is wrong are wrong! M Manchester Evening News EN 13 hrs Is it fair to criticise Victoria for this? UPDATE: How Manchester parents have shown their support for her http://www.manchestereveningnews.co.uk/.../victoria-beckham p Victoria Beckham faces backlash for kissing daughter Harper on the lips Personally, I don't. The reason for this is chemistry. It's the reason why prostitutes don't normally kiss. A kiss on the lips sets off biochemical reactions for mating purposes. also believe that because of this it will spoil the first intimate kiss that my kids will experience. So for scientific reasons and for the reason of ensuring independence in my boys, don't do it. Like Reply 9 hrs Prostitutes don't do it because they don't want that kind of biochemistry with their clients. Like Reply 9 hrs Oh wow that's very deep, can't say I agree with that. But each to there own Like Reply 9 hrs Biochemistry Prostitutes feel like kissing will help my children to learn to be loving but again that's me Unlike Reply 5 9 hrs Totally disagree with that comment above, when I kiss my children or my mum or any of my family on the lips it certainly does not make me want to mate with them! Unlike Reply 5.8 hrs have no words for the above post Unlike Reply. 3-8 hrs l kiss my children on the lips and will continue to do so, it has nothing to do with chemistry. It's about what each individual is comfortable with. Some parents are and others are not. Like Reply. 2 8 hrs What a world we live in when people think kissing their child on the lips will trigger of biochemical reactions for mating!! 2 How bizarre!? Unlike Reply 4.7 hrs What the actual hell is that comment... Like Reply. 2-6 hrs ach to their own with their own kids As I said l kiss mine everyday and aways will, my choice l don't have kids yet so can't say for sure. But don't think I would but l don't know why Perhaps mouth kissing is in my mind for boys. But then again l kiss my cat right on his nose/mouth area and I bet people say that's weird. I just love him. Like Reply 2 4 hrs Totally agree with you it's a mum kissing her 5 yr old daughter for goodness sake Whatever next xxx Like Reply. 1 3 hrs t's science and life, not actually my opinion. It's been widely reported when this subject has arisen in the media. Even if it hadn't been reported scientifically, I still wouldn't kiss my kids on the lips. There is other research that suggests it's not a good idea. like to read stuff.... ke to buy American Scientific Life and that had a great item on how we have two brains. The one in your head and the one in your stomach. I like reading and listening to radio four. just said what is out there. you can kiss my arse for it if you like. That's definitely biochemical LOL Like Reply 8 mins Excellent. Probably a good thing you don't kiss your kids on the lips if you're afraid it will open the door to you having sex with each other. You like reading and listening to Radio Four? Wow! m astounded by your boundless intellect. Christ. Like Reply 4 mins Debate on parents kissing their children: "I like reading and listening to Radio Four"
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