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transpidermen: transpidermen: hi this is so funny to me literally cant stop thinking about “dude discreetly gives woman lactaid pill after she expresses concern over a milkshake on their first date and now they’re married” like… the romance of it all…  : A life-changing date I was out to eat with a cute guy at a diner. He suggested we share a milkshake, which seemed romantic except, for me, milkshakes were stomach assassins. I didn't know why, so I had simply avoided them. Now, though, I was confronted with my digestive nemesis. "I can't drink them," I confessed. "They make me feel awful "Maybe you're lactose intolerant," he said. He slid a small white packet across the table. "Try this." I glanced at the Lactaid label and looked at him to make sure he took a tablet first. After seeing it was safe, I opened the packet and placed the tablet in my mouth. Half an hour later, the milkshake was gone, and my stomach had no complaints. I bought a box and have had a pleasant journey through countless dairy escapades since. As for the guy? We've been married 10 years now. See less Feedback transpidermen: transpidermen: hi this is so funny to me literally cant stop thinking about “dude discreetly gives woman lactaid pill after she expresses concern over a milkshake on their first date and now they’re married” like… the romance of it all… 

transpidermen: transpidermen: hi this is so funny to me literally cant stop thinking about “dude discreetly gives woman lactaid pill afte...

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Read me: Hi Hello hello! Lol what's up? All right enough chitchat, let's put our cards on the table. No, I've never swiped right before. No, none of these pictures are of me. Yes, I've been on the lamb since '09. I need to know if I can trust you I'm so confused Confused? No. Confused was what I was when walked into that bank brandishing my dads smith and wessun at the ripe young age of 16. The world doesn't forgive Chrissy. It's a cold, hard bitch What are you trying to get out of this conversation? 3 things: A. Can you provide asylum? B.can you cook? I am lactose intolerant. C. Do you love me Um I only just met you Listen Chrissy, I took a gamble on you. I need you to pull through or this could mean the end of the road for me. Let's see, do you know morse code? Also, you're going to need an alias. How about Brookfield? WHAT IS HAPPENING I go by the Salamander. am tall and I have black hair and very pale skin. I will be wearing a disguise when we meet. Look for the signal: will sneeze three times. You pretend to take a call. I will leave; you follow me at a reasonable distance. Is this understood, Brookfield? Yes? Excellent. Our rendezvous will be at this time tomorrow. We need to be out of the city by sundown. Can you drive stick? No I cannot This really throws a wrench in our plans, Brookfield. Not to worry, I'll drive, but be prepared to switch seats in the unlikely event that we are stopped by law enforcement. Side note, food should be prepared when we get back to your quarters, before we leave. What are you making? I will remind you, I'm lactose intolerant I'm still really confused. It means I'm allergic to dairy products. Please don't use any of them when preparing the meal. No I know what lactose intolerant means... But what's happening in general It's up to you, I'll eat anything as long as there isn't dairy in it. not about the food... Why are we having this conversation Don't get all philosophical on me, Brookfield. I needi you focused, sharp as a tack. Nimble, like a cat None of this existential mumbo jumbo means anything if we don't pull this off. PULL WHAT OFF Read me
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