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Huh, Tumblr, and Twitter: LAME ILL callmeblake: shellythacat: from twitter:@tonyburkejnr huh, the tweet used to exist: February 13th, 2017

callmeblake: shellythacat: from twitter:@tonyburkejnr huh, the tweet used to exist: February 13th, 2017

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Money, Old Navy, and Phone: HOW CUSTOMER SERVICE WORKS Excuse me, I said a bit of ice on the bottom. Why is the ice on top? 0h boy! Let me just turn off physics and tell the ice to stop floating! Rude! I want to speak to the manager! Sorry about that! Here, take these $500 giftcards. Please don't give us 1-star on Yelp. YOU'RE FIRED!!! も THE CUSTOMER IS ALWAYS RIGHT! EVEN WHEN THEY'RE WRONG) the-last-hair-bender: failedhellos: mysteampunkheart: lam681: winmu: scullylovesqueequeg: tamtoee: yeahmicah: thegirlinthesea: spookydatrump: note-inthepages: Accurate post is accurate. Reminds me of the time a lady told me whip doesn’t melt. Or a guy yelled at me for not understanding him/hearing him because he kept talking on the phone Lame For those in retail. I worked in a Lil Caesars and a woman came in and wanted a sausage pizza with no sausage, but got mad when she was given a cheese pizza. So when I worked at fitting room in Old Navy, a woman told me that a medium top was too small, and that the large top was too large. So she asked me to find her an “x-medium”. Old Navy carries x-small, small, medium, large, x-large, 1x, 2x and 3x. There is no “x-medium”. But she insisted, so I went and found her an “x-medium” (which was just a medium in a different color but the same top, same make, same EVERYTHING) and she goes very happily, “THIS! THIS FITS ME PERFECTLY! THANK YOU SO MUCH! See, you can do anything you can set your mind to!” I’m a waitress at a big fancy resort, and once a woman asked me for a diet water and when I told her there was no such thing she demanded to see my manager (who then also promptly told her there was no such thing and brought her regular water).Another occasion of stupidity occurred when a woman had been brought a steak cooked too much for her liking. I offered to take it back and bring her out a new one, cooked a little less, and she said “NO this one’s fine I just want you to cook THIS one a little less.” I then had to get the chef and have him explain why you can’t UNCOOK a steak. When I was working at dunkin donuts there was this woman in the drive-thru who asked for a lightly toasted croissant and then started complaining that the croissant was warm. And wanted her money back, so she gave me the croissant back and I gave her the money and then she tells me “now i want my new croissant” she wanted a new one for free and as she was screaming at me this guy in a biker gang covered in tattoos leans over the counter in the store and yells “ma’am let me just tell you what we’re all thinking. fuck off, you stupid cunt.” I couldn’t stop laughing and she drove away in anger. Most of the people like in the stories above know that they’re being totally irrational, but also know that if they complain enough they’ll most likely get something free or discounted. So really most of the the nonsensical fucks are actually just cheap fucks with no shame or respect for people. That last bit of commentary though. You’d think that but I had once had to explain to a woman that I couldn’t “cut her hair longer.” Some people are actually just stupid.
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Dad, Flexing, and Internet: So I've been ruining my kids lives by saying "weird flex but ok to everything and when I do it they scream no and tell ma they're running away and I made this lovely photo lemme get it Weird flex but ok Ok so I need some help coming up with the absolute worst "to flex on" live memes ever to pretend Im an even more really lame parent. they don't have to make sense but they need to be absolutely awful yet believable enough that it isn't obvious Im intentionaly trying to be more lame Here's the ones I came up with so far "You ever just eat a well balanced diet and exercise daily to flex on heart disease? You ever just bol chilies to flex on your eyes? You ever just be cool to flex on your kids? "You ever just use sanitzer to flex on 99.9% of all bacteria and viruses?" You ever just turn all the lights and up the heater to flex on Dad? Catholic edition: You ever just ike recelve the sacraments frequently to flex on Satan? You ever just lke love your Mom to flex on Protestants? So l executed the first one in the kitchen then I dabbed and my son didn't say anything he just set down his pomegranate and walked out the front door with no shoes on and now he's walking down the street Ok so I walked down the block and I found him Update "'11 Boost令 9:36 PM That photo of u made it around the internet and you're famous Do you have a message from your fans. They want to hear from you Delivered Sen Help Message 0 Your son is named Egg Every part of this is hilarious 18,547 notes The kind of parent I aspire to be

The kind of parent I aspire to be

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