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Club, Crying, and Family: was I'm not crying.
900
30 September
My Uber driver tonight opened up to me about how he's been playing
soccer this season with his kids at a club, and that he's been put in the
20-30 yr old division even though he's 42.
He said that he's been struggling to keep up with the young players on his
team but he's been trying so hard every game as a way to inspire his kids,
and that playing games every week gives them special family time together
that they've been struggling to get recently and god damn I didn't intend to
end tonight in tears but damn it was so wholesome I have no choice.
and 36 others
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My friend took a late night Uber last month after a night out.
My friend took a late night Uber last month after a night out.
Memes, Savage, and Shit: Samsung has a new fridge that allows
you to speak to your fridge and get
responses
SNNMSUNG
@pubity
Mali Savage !!
@mahaddotm
Me: "Who took my shit?"
Fridge: "l ain't no snitch!"
Me: *Reachs for the socket*
Fridge: "Nigga it was your lil bro!"
So much for trying to have a quiet late night snack without making noise.
So much for trying to have a quiet late night snack without making noise.
Friends, Memes, and Wyd: If you never had a deep late night
conversation at one of these tables
with your friends at 1AM, wyd
@terminallychill
I got 69 mosquito bites looking at
this pic
I can hear their biting sounds. via /r/memes https://ift.tt/2IkC0Uf
I can hear their biting sounds. via /r/memes https://ift.tt/2IkC0Uf
Wyd, Text, and How: This how ready l be for that late night "WYD?"
Text
Gotta be ready 🤷♂️😂 https://t.co/IYVEngKbyS
Gotta be ready 🤷♂️😂 https://t.co/IYVEngKbyS
Funny, Hungry, and Chicken: This hotel menu is brat approved
KIDS 11 AM -11 PM
I DON'T KNOW 7
Breaded Chicken Tenders with Fries
I DON'T CARE 7
Macaroni & Cheese
I'M NOT HUNGRY 7
Hamburger or Cheeseburger with Fries
I DON'T WANT THAT 7
Grilled Cheese with Fries
SIDES 3
Fruit Cup
Mixed Vegetables
Fries
Salad
LATE NIGHT 11 PM - 6 AM
CHICKEN CAESAR SALAD* 15
@highfiveexpert
This is all delicious just like @highfiveexpert’s account 🙌🏻😂
This is all delicious just like @highfiveexpert’s account 🙌🏻😂
Hungry, Memes, and Lost: This hotel menu is brat approved
KIDS 11 AM 11 PM
I DON'T KNOW 7
Breaded Chicken Tenders with Fries
DON'T CARE 7
Macaroni & Cheese
I'M NOT HUNGRY 7
Hamburger or Cheeseburger with Fries
I DON'T WANT THAT 7
Grilled Cheese with Fries
SIDES 3
Fruit Cup
Mixed Vegetables
Fries
Salad
LATE NIGHT 11 PM -6 AM
CHICKEN CAESAR SALAD* 15
@highfiveexpert
If you bring a child to a restaurant, you deserve what you get...unless it’s the Rainforest Cafe. They usually get lost in there.
If you bring a child to a restaurant, you deserve what you get...unless it’s the Rainforest Cafe. They usually get lost in there.
![Cookies, Fresh, and Friends: Its not what it looks
like
<p><a href="http://wicthes.tumblr.com/post/174714945838/surrealmemes-src-you-find-yourself-looking" class="tumblr_blog">wicthes</a>:</p><blockquote>
<p><a href="https://surreal--memes.tumblr.com/post/174711393016/src" class="tumblr_blog">surreal–memes</a>:</p>
<blockquote><p>[<a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/surrealmemes/comments/8oeayq/when_your_parents_walk_in_on_you_creating_a/">Src</a>]</p></blockquote>
<p>you find yourself looking for a late night snack. cookies? no, your body is craving something healthy, like fruit. conveniently enough, it looks as though your mother came home from the grocery with a fresh bunch of bananas. in your weary state, you meander to the bundle and pull off the first one in sight. ‘this should keep me satisfied until breakfast,’ you think to yourself. you place the banana down to grab a glass from the cupboard for water.</p>
<p><br/></p>
<p>as you feel around the back for your favorite spiderman cup (circa 2005), you think you hear someone laugh right next to you. you quickly whip around to find the culprit but no one is there. you’re spooked but too tired and now too hangry to care. you find your spiderman swinging-into-action cup and walk to the refrigerator for some water.</p>
<p><br/></p>
<p>then the laughter happens again. you nearly drop your cup and mutter a hasty “shit” under your breath. now you’re a little more awake and realizing that you probably didn’t just imagine it the first time. you look around again trying to find the sound.</p>
<p><br/></p>
<p>“psst,” you hear a faint whisper come from behind you, but there’s no one there. you believe ghosts are real but this is just too much right now.</p>
<p><br/></p>
<p>“pssssst,” you hear that same whisper again, this time you look down.</p>
<p><br/></p>
<p>the only thing there is the banana.</p>
<p><br/></p>
<p>‘the banana… is talking to me?’ now you think you’ve lost it.</p>
<p><br/></p>
<p>remembering those stupid jokes and silly games from your childhood, you pick up the banana and turn it in your hands. you swear you heard the whispering come from the banana… right?</p>
<p><br/></p>
<p>swallowing your pride, you slowly raise the banana to your ear while glancing around the room just to make sure your younger sibling isn’t playing some sick joke on you to share with their friends.</p>
<p><br/></p>
<p>“h-hello…?” you mumble hesitantly. this is probably the dumbest thing you’ve done in your life but you swear to god you heard those sounds. nothing happens for what seems like forever, until something does.</p>
<p><br/></p>
<p>as you’re about the give up your endeavor and admit insanity, a quiet voice escapes the fruit.</p>
<p><br/></p>
<p>“no one will ever believe you,” the banana chuckles breathily in your ear. it was so faint it could have been your imagination had it not been the feeling of breath blowing into your ear. you freeze in panic because what the fuck just happened.</p>
<p><br/></p>
<p>at the same moment your younger sibling walks into the kitchen.</p>
<p><br/></p>
<p>“are you… talking to a banana?” they ask incredulously.</p>
<p><br/></p>
<p>embarrassed and shocked, you stammer out a response, “i-it’s not what it looks like!” you exclaim, quickly pulling the banana from your ear. “it-“</p>
<p><br/></p>
<p>“whatever, im going back to bed,” your sibling frowns and walks out.</p>
<p><br/></p>
<p>you hear the banana laugh at you again.</p>
<p><br/></p>
<p>“no one,” it whispers with amusement. you swear you hear the smile in its voice.</p>
</blockquote>](https://pics.me.me/thumb_its-not-what-it-looks-like-<p><a-href-http-wicthes-tumblr-com-post-174714945838-surrealmemes-src-you-find-yourself-looking-class-tumblr-blog>wicthes-34014515.png)
