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Found this old thread with new stories in it. I hope people keep adding more.advice-animal.tumblr.com: envyadams today at work i let someone into a dressing room and they said thanks" and half of me tried to say "you're welcome" and the other half tried to say "no problem and i ended up saying 'your problem ea this post had me in tears I was hoping the notes would be full of similar stories, but they're not, so I'll add my story for anyone else looking for more laughs I had to go to a library to pay a fee and I was practicing in the car between "I have to pay a fine and " have to pay a fee" and I walked in and firmly stated "I have to pee and slapped a five dollar bill on the counter (the fee was like ten cents) and walked out. This was like three years ago and I still haven't been back My friend was driving and we were almost past our turnof so I tried to say "quick and "tast at the same time and I ended up screaming "QUACK which ended up with him judging me very hard and missing the turn Recently someone in class asked me how I was doing and I started off saying I was good but switched to I'm okay in the middle and ended up saying "I'm gay. Which, while kind of accurate, was not what I meant to announce to my classmate This Halloween I was handing out candy and a child said "trick or treat and I smiled gave them their candy and apparently my mouth betrayed me and I said "Merry Christmas" and proceeded to sit down and look up to the sky for answers while their mother laughed at me I was switching between Bye Deanna and "Goodbye and I ended up saying "Go Die Sometimes I try to say "I fucking love you but it comes out in the wrong order and then everyone's uncomfortable. When I first started my coffee shop job, I was still getting used to greeting customers as they came in the door. A man walked in, and in the jumble of trying to say, "How are you doing? and "What's up? I ended up demanding "What are you doing here? something really cool happened once at the office and i started to say "im so amazed but halfway through my mind changed to "that's really amazing and i just ended up saying "Tm really so amazing one time i was out in the woods in the spring when the birds were just beginning to come out again and i went to say "Tm so pumped for the birds" and "Tm so hyped for the birds and instead i said "I'm so humped for birds Once I was walking to school and there was a guy walking his dog and the dog came to me and started sniming me and I was in such a good mood and when I passed by his owner I wanted to say like 'hello" or 'good morning" or "cute dog" or something like that and I ended up looking up at him, smiling real big, and saying thank you I was at the convenience store and I was going to buy a drink, but dropped my keys and the drink when I got to the register so I got caught between "my drink "MY KINK and my keys and ended up screaming I walked up to this register.in a target. When the cashier finished checking me out she said have a good day, andi wanted to say You have a good day" and "You too" so it came out You have a good do do I FUCKIN H HIT MY HEAD ON A CHAIR FROM LAUGHING TOO HARD AT THIS FUCKING POS T This post is too good. I once tried to say have a nice day or have a good day to a customer and said 'Have a nude gay!. Still haven't recovered. OOC: i get really used to working nights or days at my work so i'm oftern jumbled between 'have a nice night and have a good day" so often it comes out as "have a nice neigh" or "have a good date" or occasionally even "have a night die" When I interviewed for my lab position I tried to ask how much I would have to handle the mice and rats but I was nervous so I actually said rice and mats" instead At DnD my friends and I were eating snacks, like you do. We had some chips and some beef jerky and some other stu Now one of my friends is a vegetarian, and he was steering clear of most of the meat products Out of the corner of my eye I see my other pal offer him a bag of what I ASSUMED was jerky since that's what they were eating before- As I turned to stop him from eating "meat- what I started to say was "oh no" but finished with "no don't INSTEAD i wound up screaming "ODIN and crushing the harmless chip in my friends hand A friend who worked in retail once told me that their manager wanted them to respond to a thank you with It's my pleasure and said "You're my pleasurel instead of "You're welcome" and my friend messed it up When I was sixteen, I was a lifeguard at the YMCA and you could shortcut through the pool to get to the basketball court. A lot of hyped up kids would pass through and run on the slippery tile, so l'd have to tell them to stop. Once, I was about to yell, "DONT RUN," and tried to change it to "WALK" at the last second but I ended up just bellowing "RUNI at a couple of preteens who did in fact, make for the door like they were in a horror movie. kellyoxenfree Source: archive95205 Found this old thread with new stories in it. I hope people keep adding more.advice-animal.tumblr.com