๐Ÿ  La Croix Meme

๐Ÿธ  Evil Kermit Meme

๐Ÿ˜‚  Funny Memes

๐Ÿคฆโ€โ™‚๏ธ  Facepalm Meme

๐Ÿ‘ซ  Relationship Memes

๐ŸŽƒ  Halloween Memes

Laughter Memes

A
A
With
With
Was
Was
Make You
Make You
The
The
Meaningful
Meaningful
The Joke
The Joke
That
That
very true
very true
exceptional
exceptional 

    
                    

                

            
        
    

    
    
    






            

            
            

                

                    
                

                

                    
                    
                    

                        


	


    ๐Ÿ”ฅ Popular | Latest






    

    
        
            
                

                    

                        
                        
                        
                    

                    
                    

                        
                            Coronavirus Memes Prove That Laughter Is The Best Medicine
                        
                    

                    
                

            
        
    
        
            
                

                    

                        
                        
                        
                    

                    
                    

                        
                            Coronavirus Memes Prove That Laughter Is The Best Medicine
                        
                    

                    
                

            
        
    
    






    

    
    
    

        

            








        

    

    
    

        

            









    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        cereusblue:
unnameablethings:


dragonsateyourtoast:

redporkpadthai:

dragonsateyourtoast:

otherwindow:

otherwindow:
This is how the golden age of piracy ended.
The first mermaid to get tattoos :)


โ€œwe didnโ€™t know any better,โ€ the crewman says, and swallows, presenting the chest to the captain. โ€œwhat do we do now?โ€
โ€œkill it,โ€ the captain says, but the ice is melting in his eyes.
โ€œwe canโ€™t,โ€ the first mate says desperately, praying she wonโ€™t have to fight her captain on this. โ€œwe canโ€™t. we - i wonโ€™t. we wonโ€™t.โ€
โ€œi know.โ€
x
โ€œdaddy,โ€ she says, floating in a tub of seawater in the hold, โ€œdaddy, la-la, la-la-la.โ€
her voice rings like bells. her accent is strange; her mouth isnโ€™t made for human words. it mesmerises even the hardiest amongst them and she wasnโ€™t even trying. the crew has taken to diving for shellfish near the shorelines for her; she loves them, splitting the shells apart with strength seen in no human toddler, slurping down the slimy molluscs inside and laughing, all plump brown cheeks and needle-sharp teeth. she sometimes splashes them for fun with her smooth, rubbery brown tail. even when they get soaked they laugh. they love her.
โ€œdaddy,โ€ she calls again, and he can hear the worry in her voice. the storm rocking the ship is harsh and uncaring, and if they go down, she would be the only survivor.
โ€œdonโ€™t worry,โ€ he says, and goes over, sitting next to the tub. the first mate, leaning against the wall, pretends not to notice as he quietly begins to sing.
x
โ€œfather,โ€ she says, one day, as she leans on the edge of the dock and the captain sits next to her, โ€œwhy am I here?โ€
โ€œyour mother abandoned you,โ€ he says, as he always has. โ€œwe found you adrift, and couldnโ€™t bear to leave you there.โ€
she picks at the salt-soaked boards, uncertain. her hair is pulled back in a fluffy black puff, the white linen holding it slipping almost over one of her dark eyes. one of her first tattoos, a many-limbed kraken, curls over her right shoulder and down her arm, delicate tendrils wrapped around her calloused fingertips. โ€œalright,โ€ she says.
x
โ€œwhy am I really here?โ€ she asks the first mate, watching the sun set over the water in streaks of liquid metal that pooled in the troughs of the waves and glittered on the seafoam.
โ€œwe didnโ€™t know any better,โ€ the first mate says, staring into the water. โ€œwe didnโ€™t know- we didnโ€™t know anything. we didnโ€™t understand why she fought so viciously to guard her treasure. we could not know she protected something a thousand times more precious than the purest gold.โ€
she wants to be furious, but she canโ€™t. she already knew the answer, from reading the guilt in her fatherโ€™s eyes and the empty space in her own history. and she canโ€™t hate her family.
โ€œitโ€™s alright,โ€ she says. โ€œi do have a family, anyways. i donโ€™t think i would have liked my other life near as much.โ€
x
her kraken grows, spreading its tendrils over her torso and arms. she grows too, too large to come on board the ship without being hauled up in a boat from the water. she sings when the storms come and swims before the ship to guide it to safety. she fights off more than one beast of the seas, and gathers a set of scars across her back that she bears with pride. โ€œi donโ€™t mind,โ€ she says, when the captain fusses over her, โ€œnow i match all of you.โ€
the first time their ship is threatened, really threatened, is by another fleet. a friend turned enemy of the first mate. โ€œwe shouldnโ€™t fight him,โ€ she says, peering through the spyglass.
โ€œwhy not?โ€ the mermaid asks.
โ€œheโ€™ll win,โ€ the first mate says.
the mermaid tips her head sideways. Her eyes, dark as the deep waters, gleam in the noon light. โ€œare you sure?โ€ she asks.
x
the enemy fleet surrenders after the flagship is sunk in the night, the anchor ripped off the ship and the planks torn off the hull. the surviving crew, wild-eyed and delirious, whimper and say a sea serpent came from the water and attacked them, say it was longer than the boat and crushed it in its coils. the first mate hears this and has to hide her laughter. the captain apologizes to his daughter for doubting her.
โ€œdonโ€™t worry,โ€ she says, with a bright laugh, โ€œit was fun.โ€
x
the second time, they are pushed by a storm into a royal fleet. they canโ€™t possibly fight them, and they donโ€™t have the time to escape.
โ€œlet me up,โ€ the mermaid urges, surfacing starboard and shouting to the crew. โ€œbring me up, quickly, quickly.โ€
they lower the boat and she piles her sinous form into it, and uses her claws to help the crew pull her up. once on the deck she flops out of the boat and makes her way over to the bow. the crew tries to help but sheโ€™s so heavy they can barely lift parts of her.
she crawls up out in front of the rail and wraps her long webbed tail around the prow. the figurehead has served them well so far but they need more right now. she wraps herself around the figurehead and raises her body up into the wind takes a breath of the stinging salt air and sings.
the storm carries her voice on its front to the royal navy. they are enchanted, so stunned by her song that they drop the rigging ropes and let the tillers drift. the pirates sail through the center of the fleet, trailing the storm behind them, and by the time the fleet has managed to regain its senses they are buried in wind and rain and the pirates are gone.
x
she declines guns. instead she carries a harpoon and its launcher, and uses them to board enemy ships, hauling her massive form out of the water to coil on the deck and dispatch enemies with ruthless efficiency. her family is feared across all the sea.
x
โ€œyou know we are dying,โ€ the captain says, looking down at her.
she floats next to the ship, so massive she could hold it in her arms. her eyes are wise.
โ€œi know,โ€ she says, โ€œi can feel it coming.โ€
the first mate stands next to the captain. she never had a lover or a child, and neither did he, but to the mermaid they are her parents. she will always love her daughter. the tattoos are graven in dark swirls across the mermaidโ€™s deep brown skin and the flesh of her tail, even spiraling onto the spiked webbing on her spine and face. her hair is still tied back, this time with a sail that could not be patched one last time. 
โ€œwe love you,โ€ the first mate says simply, looking down. her own tightly coiled black hair falls in to her face; she shakes the locs out of the way and smiles through her tears. the captain pretends he isnt crying either.
โ€œi love you too,โ€ the mermaid says, and reached up to pull the ship down just a bit, just to hold them one last time.
โ€œguard the ship,โ€ the captain says. โ€œyou always have but you know theyโ€™re lost without you.โ€
โ€œwithout you,โ€ the mermaid corrects, with a shrug that makes waves. โ€œwhat will we do?โ€
โ€œi donโ€™t know,โ€ the captain says. โ€œbut youโ€™ll help them, wonโ€™t you?โ€
โ€œof course i will,โ€ she scoffs, rolling her eyes. โ€œi will always protect my family.โ€
x
the captain and the first mate are gone. the ship has a new captain, young and fearless - of the things she can afford to disregard. she fears and loves the ocean, as all captains do. she does not fear the royal fleet. and she does not fear the mermaid.
โ€œyou know, i heard stories about you when i was a little girl,โ€ she says, trailing her fingers in the water next to the dock.
the mermaid stares at her with one eye the size of a dinner table. โ€œis that so?โ€ she hums, smirking with teeth sharper than the swords of the entire navy.
โ€œthey said you could sink an entire fleet and that you had skin tougher than dragon scales,โ€ the new captain says, grinning right back at the monster who could eat her without a momentโ€™s hesitation. โ€œi always thought they were telling tall tales.โ€
โ€œand now?โ€
โ€œthey were right,โ€ the new captain says. โ€œhow did they ever befriend you?โ€
the mermaid smiles, fully this time, her dark eyes gleaming under the white linen sail. โ€œthey didnโ€™t know any better.โ€

She protects her family.

Hi everybody! Guess whatโ€™s being posted on AO3 now at the following link!
https://archiveofourown.org/works/22498384/chapters/53760817
Thatโ€™s right! Here you go. Iโ€™ll be uploading it in some chunks, because I want to make sure I have everything I wanted edited cleanly finished, but follow the story there!




HEY GUYS GUESS WHATS BACK ON THE DASHBOARD AND BETTER THAN EVER
: cereusblue:
unnameablethings:


dragonsateyourtoast:

redporkpadthai:

dragonsateyourtoast:

otherwindow:

otherwindow:
This is how the golden age of piracy ended.
The first mermaid to get tattoos :)


โ€œwe didnโ€™t know any better,โ€ the crewman says, and swallows, presenting the chest to the captain. โ€œwhat do we do now?โ€
โ€œkill it,โ€ the captain says, but the ice is melting in his eyes.
โ€œwe canโ€™t,โ€ the first mate says desperately, praying she wonโ€™t have to fight her captain on this. โ€œwe canโ€™t. we - i wonโ€™t. we wonโ€™t.โ€
โ€œi know.โ€
x
โ€œdaddy,โ€ she says, floating in a tub of seawater in the hold, โ€œdaddy, la-la, la-la-la.โ€
her voice rings like bells. her accent is strange; her mouth isnโ€™t made for human words. it mesmerises even the hardiest amongst them and she wasnโ€™t even trying. the crew has taken to diving for shellfish near the shorelines for her; she loves them, splitting the shells apart with strength seen in no human toddler, slurping down the slimy molluscs inside and laughing, all plump brown cheeks and needle-sharp teeth. she sometimes splashes them for fun with her smooth, rubbery brown tail. even when they get soaked they laugh. they love her.
โ€œdaddy,โ€ she calls again, and he can hear the worry in her voice. the storm rocking the ship is harsh and uncaring, and if they go down, she would be the only survivor.
โ€œdonโ€™t worry,โ€ he says, and goes over, sitting next to the tub. the first mate, leaning against the wall, pretends not to notice as he quietly begins to sing.
x
โ€œfather,โ€ she says, one day, as she leans on the edge of the dock and the captain sits next to her, โ€œwhy am I here?โ€
โ€œyour mother abandoned you,โ€ he says, as he always has. โ€œwe found you adrift, and couldnโ€™t bear to leave you there.โ€
she picks at the salt-soaked boards, uncertain. her hair is pulled back in a fluffy black puff, the white linen holding it slipping almost over one of her dark eyes. one of her first tattoos, a many-limbed kraken, curls over her right shoulder and down her arm, delicate tendrils wrapped around her calloused fingertips. โ€œalright,โ€ she says.
x
โ€œwhy am I really here?โ€ she asks the first mate, watching the sun set over the water in streaks of liquid metal that pooled in the troughs of the waves and glittered on the seafoam.
โ€œwe didnโ€™t know any better,โ€ the first mate says, staring into the water. โ€œwe didnโ€™t know- we didnโ€™t know anything. we didnโ€™t understand why she fought so viciously to guard her treasure. we could not know she protected something a thousand times more precious than the purest gold.โ€
she wants to be furious, but she canโ€™t. she already knew the answer, from reading the guilt in her fatherโ€™s eyes and the empty space in her own history. and she canโ€™t hate her family.
โ€œitโ€™s alright,โ€ she says. โ€œi do have a family, anyways. i donโ€™t think i would have liked my other life near as much.โ€
x
her kraken grows, spreading its tendrils over her torso and arms. she grows too, too large to come on board the ship without being hauled up in a boat from the water. she sings when the storms come and swims before the ship to guide it to safety. she fights off more than one beast of the seas, and gathers a set of scars across her back that she bears with pride. โ€œi donโ€™t mind,โ€ she says, when the captain fusses over her, โ€œnow i match all of you.โ€
the first time their ship is threatened, really threatened, is by another fleet. a friend turned enemy of the first mate. โ€œwe shouldnโ€™t fight him,โ€ she says, peering through the spyglass.
โ€œwhy not?โ€ the mermaid asks.
โ€œheโ€™ll win,โ€ the first mate says.
the mermaid tips her head sideways. Her eyes, dark as the deep waters, gleam in the noon light. โ€œare you sure?โ€ she asks.
x
the enemy fleet surrenders after the flagship is sunk in the night, the anchor ripped off the ship and the planks torn off the hull. the surviving crew, wild-eyed and delirious, whimper and say a sea serpent came from the water and attacked them, say it was longer than the boat and crushed it in its coils. the first mate hears this and has to hide her laughter. the captain apologizes to his daughter for doubting her.
โ€œdonโ€™t worry,โ€ she says, with a bright laugh, โ€œit was fun.โ€
x
the second time, they are pushed by a storm into a royal fleet. they canโ€™t possibly fight them, and they donโ€™t have the time to escape.
โ€œlet me up,โ€ the mermaid urges, surfacing starboard and shouting to the crew. โ€œbring me up, quickly, quickly.โ€
they lower the boat and she piles her sinous form into it, and uses her claws to help the crew pull her up. once on the deck she flops out of the boat and makes her way over to the bow. the crew tries to help but sheโ€™s so heavy they can barely lift parts of her.
she crawls up out in front of the rail and wraps her long webbed tail around the prow. the figurehead has served them well so far but they need more right now. she wraps herself around the figurehead and raises her body up into the wind takes a breath of the stinging salt air and sings.
the storm carries her voice on its front to the royal navy. they are enchanted, so stunned by her song that they drop the rigging ropes and let the tillers drift. the pirates sail through the center of the fleet, trailing the storm behind them, and by the time the fleet has managed to regain its senses they are buried in wind and rain and the pirates are gone.
x
she declines guns. instead she carries a harpoon and its launcher, and uses them to board enemy ships, hauling her massive form out of the water to coil on the deck and dispatch enemies with ruthless efficiency. her family is feared across all the sea.
x
โ€œyou know we are dying,โ€ the captain says, looking down at her.
she floats next to the ship, so massive she could hold it in her arms. her eyes are wise.
โ€œi know,โ€ she says, โ€œi can feel it coming.โ€
the first mate stands next to the captain. she never had a lover or a child, and neither did he, but to the mermaid they are her parents. she will always love her daughter. the tattoos are graven in dark swirls across the mermaidโ€™s deep brown skin and the flesh of her tail, even spiraling onto the spiked webbing on her spine and face. her hair is still tied back, this time with a sail that could not be patched one last time. 
โ€œwe love you,โ€ the first mate says simply, looking down. her own tightly coiled black hair falls in to her face; she shakes the locs out of the way and smiles through her tears. the captain pretends he isnt crying either.
โ€œi love you too,โ€ the mermaid says, and reached up to pull the ship down just a bit, just to hold them one last time.
โ€œguard the ship,โ€ the captain says. โ€œyou always have but you know theyโ€™re lost without you.โ€
โ€œwithout you,โ€ the mermaid corrects, with a shrug that makes waves. โ€œwhat will we do?โ€
โ€œi donโ€™t know,โ€ the captain says. โ€œbut youโ€™ll help them, wonโ€™t you?โ€
โ€œof course i will,โ€ she scoffs, rolling her eyes. โ€œi will always protect my family.โ€
x
the captain and the first mate are gone. the ship has a new captain, young and fearless - of the things she can afford to disregard. she fears and loves the ocean, as all captains do. she does not fear the royal fleet. and she does not fear the mermaid.
โ€œyou know, i heard stories about you when i was a little girl,โ€ she says, trailing her fingers in the water next to the dock.
the mermaid stares at her with one eye the size of a dinner table. โ€œis that so?โ€ she hums, smirking with teeth sharper than the swords of the entire navy.
โ€œthey said you could sink an entire fleet and that you had skin tougher than dragon scales,โ€ the new captain says, grinning right back at the monster who could eat her without a momentโ€™s hesitation. โ€œi always thought they were telling tall tales.โ€
โ€œand now?โ€
โ€œthey were right,โ€ the new captain says. โ€œhow did they ever befriend you?โ€
the mermaid smiles, fully this time, her dark eyes gleaming under the white linen sail. โ€œthey didnโ€™t know any better.โ€

She protects her family.

Hi everybody! Guess whatโ€™s being posted on AO3 now at the following link!
https://archiveofourown.org/works/22498384/chapters/53760817
Thatโ€™s right! Here you go. Iโ€™ll be uploading it in some chunks, because I want to make sure I have everything I wanted edited cleanly finished, but follow the story there!




HEY GUYS GUESS WHATS BACK ON THE DASHBOARD AND BETTER THAN EVER

        

            
            

                
                
                    cereusblue:
unnameablethings:


dragonsateyourtoast:

redporkpadthai:

dragonsateyourtoast:

otherwindow:

otherwindow:
This is how the golden age of piracy ended.
The first mermaid to get tattoos :)


โ€œwe didnโ€™t know any better,โ€ the crewman says, and swallows, presenting the chest to the captain. โ€œwhat do we do now?โ€
โ€œkill it,โ€ the captain says, but the ice is melting in his eyes.
โ€œwe canโ€™t,โ€ the first mate says desperately, praying she wonโ€™t have to fight her captain on this. โ€œwe canโ€™t. we - i wonโ€™t. we wonโ€™t.โ€
โ€œi know.โ€
x
โ€œdaddy,โ€ she says, floating in a tub of seawater in the hold, โ€œdaddy, la-la, la-la-la.โ€
her voice rings like bells. her accent is strange; her mouth isnโ€™t made for human words. it mesmerises even the hardiest amongst them and she wasnโ€™t even trying. the crew has taken to diving for shellfish near the shorelines for her; she loves them, splitting the shells apart with strength seen in no human toddler, slurping down the slimy molluscs inside and laughing, all plump brown cheeks and needle-sharp teeth. she sometimes splashes them for fun with her smooth, rubbery brown tail. even when they get soaked they laugh. they love her.
โ€œdaddy,โ€ she calls again, and he can hear the worry in her voice. the storm rocking the ship is harsh and uncaring, and if they go down, she would be the only survivor.
โ€œdonโ€™t worry,โ€ he says, and goes over, sitting next to the tub. the first mate, leaning against the wall, pretends not to notice as he quietly begins to sing.
x
โ€œfather,โ€ she says, one day, as she leans on the edge of the dock and the captain sits next to her, โ€œwhy am I here?โ€
โ€œyour mother abandoned you,โ€ he says, as he always has. โ€œwe found you adrift, and couldnโ€™t bear to leave you there.โ€
she picks at the salt-soaked boards, uncertain. her hair is pulled back in a fluffy black puff, the white linen holding it slipping almost over one of her dark eyes. one of her first tattoos, a many-limbed kraken, curls over her right shoulder and down her arm, delicate tendrils wrapped around her calloused fingertips. โ€œalright,โ€ she says.
x
โ€œwhy am I really here?โ€ she asks the first mate, watching the sun set over the water in streaks of liquid metal that pooled in the troughs of the waves and glittered on the seafoam.
โ€œwe didnโ€™t know any better,โ€ the first mate says, staring into the water. โ€œwe didnโ€™t know- we didnโ€™t know anything. we didnโ€™t understand why she fought so viciously to guard her treasure. we could not know she protected something a thousand times more precious than the purest gold.โ€
she wants to be furious, but she canโ€™t. she already knew the answer, from reading the guilt in her fatherโ€™s eyes and the empty space in her own history. and she canโ€™t hate her family.
โ€œitโ€™s alright,โ€ she says. โ€œi do have a family, anyways. i donโ€™t think i would have liked my other life near as much.โ€
x
her kraken grows, spreading its tendrils over her torso and arms. she grows too, too large to come on board the ship without being hauled up in a boat from the water. she sings when the storms come and swims before the ship to guide it to safety. she fights off more than one beast of the seas, and gathers a set of scars across her back that she bears with pride. โ€œi donโ€™t mind,โ€ she says, when the captain fusses over her, โ€œnow i match all of you.โ€
the first time their ship is threatened, really threatened, is by another fleet. a friend turned enemy of the first mate. โ€œwe shouldnโ€™t fight him,โ€ she says, peering through the spyglass.
โ€œwhy not?โ€ the mermaid asks.
โ€œheโ€™ll win,โ€ the first mate says.
the mermaid tips her head sideways. Her eyes, dark as the deep waters, gleam in the noon light. โ€œare you sure?โ€ she asks.
x
the enemy fleet surrenders after the flagship is sunk in the night, the anchor ripped off the ship and the planks torn off the hull. the surviving crew, wild-eyed and delirious, whimper and say a sea serpent came from the water and attacked them, say it was longer than the boat and crushed it in its coils. the first mate hears this and has to hide her laughter. the captain apologizes to his daughter for doubting her.
โ€œdonโ€™t worry,โ€ she says, with a bright laugh, โ€œit was fun.โ€
x
the second time, they are pushed by a storm into a royal fleet. they canโ€™t possibly fight them, and they donโ€™t have the time to escape.
โ€œlet me up,โ€ the mermaid urges, surfacing starboard and shouting to the crew. โ€œbring me up, quickly, quickly.โ€
they lower the boat and she piles her sinous form into it, and uses her claws to help the crew pull her up. once on the deck she flops out of the boat and makes her way over to the bow. the crew tries to help but sheโ€™s so heavy they can barely lift parts of her.
she crawls up out in front of the rail and wraps her long webbed tail around the prow. the figurehead has served them well so far but they need more right now. she wraps herself around the figurehead and raises her body up into the wind takes a breath of the stinging salt air and sings.
the storm carries her voice on its front to the royal navy. they are enchanted, so stunned by her song that they drop the rigging ropes and let the tillers drift. the pirates sail through the center of the fleet, trailing the storm behind them, and by the time the fleet has managed to regain its senses they are buried in wind and rain and the pirates are gone.
x
she declines guns. instead she carries a harpoon and its launcher, and uses them to board enemy ships, hauling her massive form out of the water to coil on the deck and dispatch enemies with ruthless efficiency. her family is feared across all the sea.
x
โ€œyou know we are dying,โ€ the captain says, looking down at her.
she floats next to the ship, so massive she could hold it in her arms. her eyes are wise.
โ€œi know,โ€ she says, โ€œi can feel it coming.โ€
the first mate stands next to the captain. she never had a lover or a child, and neither did he, but to the mermaid they are her parents. she will always love her daughter. the tattoos are graven in dark swirls across the mermaidโ€™s deep brown skin and the flesh of her tail, even spiraling onto the spiked webbing on her spine and face. her hair is still tied back, this time with a sail that could not be patched one last time. 
โ€œwe love you,โ€ the first mate says simply, looking down. her own tightly coiled black hair falls in to her face; she shakes the locs out of the way and smiles through her tears. the captain pretends he isnt crying either.
โ€œi love you too,โ€ the mermaid says, and reached up to pull the ship down just a bit, just to hold them one last time.
โ€œguard the ship,โ€ the captain says. โ€œyou always have but you know theyโ€™re lost without you.โ€
โ€œwithout you,โ€ the mermaid corrects, with a shrug that makes waves. โ€œwhat will we do?โ€
โ€œi donโ€™t know,โ€ the captain says. โ€œbut youโ€™ll help them, wonโ€™t you?โ€
โ€œof course i will,โ€ she scoffs, rolling her eyes. โ€œi will always protect my family.โ€
x
the captain and the first mate are gone. the ship has a new captain, young and fearless - of the things she can afford to disregard. she fears and loves the ocean, as all captains do. she does not fear the royal fleet. and she does not fear the mermaid.
โ€œyou know, i heard stories about you when i was a little girl,โ€ she says, trailing her fingers in the water next to the dock.
the mermaid stares at her with one eye the size of a dinner table. โ€œis that so?โ€ she hums, smirking with teeth sharper than the swords of the entire navy.
โ€œthey said you could sink an entire fleet and that you had skin tougher than dragon scales,โ€ the new captain says, grinning right back at the monster who could eat her without a momentโ€™s hesitation. โ€œi always thought they were telling tall tales.โ€
โ€œand now?โ€
โ€œthey were right,โ€ the new captain says. โ€œhow did they ever befriend you?โ€
the mermaid smiles, fully this time, her dark eyes gleaming under the white linen sail. โ€œthey didnโ€™t know any better.โ€

She protects her family.

Hi everybody! Guess whatโ€™s being posted on AO3 now at the following link!
https://archiveofourown.org/works/22498384/chapters/53760817
Thatโ€™s right! Here you go. Iโ€™ll be uploading it in some chunks, because I want to make sure I have everything I wanted edited cleanly finished, but follow the story there!




HEY GUYS GUESS WHATS BACK ON THE DASHBOARD AND BETTER THAN EVER
: cereusblue:
unnameablethings:


dragonsateyourtoast:

redporkpadthai:

dragonsateyourtoast:

otherwindow:

otherwindow:
This is how the golden age of piracy ended.
The first mermaid to get tattoos :)


โ€œwe didnโ€™t know any better,โ€ the crewman says, and swallows, presenting the chest to the captain. โ€œwhat do we do now?โ€
โ€œkill it,โ€ the captain says, but the ice is melting in his eyes.
โ€œwe canโ€™t,โ€ the first mate says desperately, praying she wonโ€™t have to fight her captain on this. โ€œwe canโ€™t. we - i wonโ€™t. we wonโ€™t.โ€
โ€œi know.โ€
x
โ€œdaddy,โ€ she says, floating in a tub of seawater in the hold, โ€œdaddy, la-la, la-la-la.โ€
her voice rings like bells. her accent is strange; her mouth isnโ€™t made for human words. it mesmerises even the hardiest amongst them and she wasnโ€™t even trying. the crew has taken to diving for shellfish near the shorelines for her; she loves them, splitting the shells apart with strength seen in no human toddler, slurping down the slimy molluscs inside and laughing, all plump brown cheeks and needle-sharp teeth. she sometimes splashes them for fun with her smooth, rubbery brown tail. even when they get soaked they laugh. they love her.
โ€œdaddy,โ€ she calls again, and he can hear the worry in her voice. the storm rocking the ship is harsh and uncaring, and if they go down, she would be the only survivor.
โ€œdonโ€™t worry,โ€ he says, and goes over, sitting next to the tub. the first mate, leaning against the wall, pretends not to notice as he quietly begins to sing.
x
โ€œfather,โ€ she says, one day, as she leans on the edge of the dock and the captain sits next to her, โ€œwhy am I here?โ€
โ€œyour mother abandoned you,โ€ he says, as he always has. โ€œwe found you adrift, and couldnโ€™t bear to leave you there.โ€
she picks at the salt-soaked boards, uncertain. her hair is pulled back in a fluffy black puff, the white linen holding it slipping almost over one of her dark eyes. one of her first tattoos, a many-limbed kraken, curls over her right shoulder and down her arm, delicate tendrils wrapped around her calloused fingertips. โ€œalright,โ€ she says.
x
โ€œwhy am I really here?โ€ she asks the first mate, watching the sun set over the water in streaks of liquid metal that pooled in the troughs of the waves and glittered on the seafoam.
โ€œwe didnโ€™t know any better,โ€ the first mate says, staring into the water. โ€œwe didnโ€™t know- we didnโ€™t know anything. we didnโ€™t understand why she fought so viciously to guard her treasure. we could not know she protected something a thousand times more precious than the purest gold.โ€
she wants to be furious, but she canโ€™t. she already knew the answer, from reading the guilt in her fatherโ€™s eyes and the empty space in her own history. and she canโ€™t hate her family.
โ€œitโ€™s alright,โ€ she says. โ€œi do have a family, anyways. i donโ€™t think i would have liked my other life near as much.โ€
x
her kraken grows, spreading its tendrils over her torso and arms. she grows too, too large to come on board the ship without being hauled up in a boat from the water. she sings when the storms come and swims before the ship to guide it to safety. she fights off more than one beast of the seas, and gathers a set of scars across her back that she bears with pride. โ€œi donโ€™t mind,โ€ she says, when the captain fusses over her, โ€œnow i match all of you.โ€
the first time their ship is threatened, really threatened, is by another fleet. a friend turned enemy of the first mate. โ€œwe shouldnโ€™t fight him,โ€ she says, peering through the spyglass.
โ€œwhy not?โ€ the mermaid asks.
โ€œheโ€™ll win,โ€ the first mate says.
the mermaid tips her head sideways. Her eyes, dark as the deep waters, gleam in the noon light. โ€œare you sure?โ€ she asks.
x
the enemy fleet surrenders after the flagship is sunk in the night, the anchor ripped off the ship and the planks torn off the hull. the surviving crew, wild-eyed and delirious, whimper and say a sea serpent came from the water and attacked them, say it was longer than the boat and crushed it in its coils. the first mate hears this and has to hide her laughter. the captain apologizes to his daughter for doubting her.
โ€œdonโ€™t worry,โ€ she says, with a bright laugh, โ€œit was fun.โ€
x
the second time, they are pushed by a storm into a royal fleet. they canโ€™t possibly fight them, and they donโ€™t have the time to escape.
โ€œlet me up,โ€ the mermaid urges, surfacing starboard and shouting to the crew. โ€œbring me up, quickly, quickly.โ€
they lower the boat and she piles her sinous form into it, and uses her claws to help the crew pull her up. once on the deck she flops out of the boat and makes her way over to the bow. the crew tries to help but sheโ€™s so heavy they can barely lift parts of her.
she crawls up out in front of the rail and wraps her long webbed tail around the prow. the figurehead has served them well so far but they need more right now. she wraps herself around the figurehead and raises her body up into the wind takes a breath of the stinging salt air and sings.
the storm carries her voice on its front to the royal navy. they are enchanted, so stunned by her song that they drop the rigging ropes and let the tillers drift. the pirates sail through the center of the fleet, trailing the storm behind them, and by the time the fleet has managed to regain its senses they are buried in wind and rain and the pirates are gone.
x
she declines guns. instead she carries a harpoon and its launcher, and uses them to board enemy ships, hauling her massive form out of the water to coil on the deck and dispatch enemies with ruthless efficiency. her family is feared across all the sea.
x
โ€œyou know we are dying,โ€ the captain says, looking down at her.
she floats next to the ship, so massive she could hold it in her arms. her eyes are wise.
โ€œi know,โ€ she says, โ€œi can feel it coming.โ€
the first mate stands next to the captain. she never had a lover or a child, and neither did he, but to the mermaid they are her parents. she will always love her daughter. the tattoos are graven in dark swirls across the mermaidโ€™s deep brown skin and the flesh of her tail, even spiraling onto the spiked webbing on her spine and face. her hair is still tied back, this time with a sail that could not be patched one last time. 
โ€œwe love you,โ€ the first mate says simply, looking down. her own tightly coiled black hair falls in to her face; she shakes the locs out of the way and smiles through her tears. the captain pretends he isnt crying either.
โ€œi love you too,โ€ the mermaid says, and reached up to pull the ship down just a bit, just to hold them one last time.
โ€œguard the ship,โ€ the captain says. โ€œyou always have but you know theyโ€™re lost without you.โ€
โ€œwithout you,โ€ the mermaid corrects, with a shrug that makes waves. โ€œwhat will we do?โ€
โ€œi donโ€™t know,โ€ the captain says. โ€œbut youโ€™ll help them, wonโ€™t you?โ€
โ€œof course i will,โ€ she scoffs, rolling her eyes. โ€œi will always protect my family.โ€
x
the captain and the first mate are gone. the ship has a new captain, young and fearless - of the things she can afford to disregard. she fears and loves the ocean, as all captains do. she does not fear the royal fleet. and she does not fear the mermaid.
โ€œyou know, i heard stories about you when i was a little girl,โ€ she says, trailing her fingers in the water next to the dock.
the mermaid stares at her with one eye the size of a dinner table. โ€œis that so?โ€ she hums, smirking with teeth sharper than the swords of the entire navy.
โ€œthey said you could sink an entire fleet and that you had skin tougher than dragon scales,โ€ the new captain says, grinning right back at the monster who could eat her without a momentโ€™s hesitation. โ€œi always thought they were telling tall tales.โ€
โ€œand now?โ€
โ€œthey were right,โ€ the new captain says. โ€œhow did they ever befriend you?โ€
the mermaid smiles, fully this time, her dark eyes gleaming under the white linen sail. โ€œthey didnโ€™t know any better.โ€

She protects her family.

Hi everybody! Guess whatโ€™s being posted on AO3 now at the following link!
https://archiveofourown.org/works/22498384/chapters/53760817
Thatโ€™s right! Here you go. Iโ€™ll be uploading it in some chunks, because I want to make sure I have everything I wanted edited cleanly finished, but follow the story there!




HEY GUYS GUESS WHATS BACK ON THE DASHBOARD AND BETTER THAN EVER

                    
                
            

            
                
                
cereusblue:
unnameablethings:


dragonsateyourtoast:

redporkpadthai:

dragonsateyourtoast:

otherwindow:

otherwindow:
This is how the g...

                
            
            
        

    

    

        
Save

    



        

    

    
    

        

            








        

    

    
    

        

            








        

    

    
    

        

            








        

    

    
    

        

            








        

    

    
    

        

            








        

    

    
    

        

            









    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        ironwoman359:
cereusblue:

unnameablethings:


dragonsateyourtoast:

redporkpadthai:

dragonsateyourtoast:

otherwindow:

otherwindow:
This is how the golden age of piracy ended.
The first mermaid to get tattoos :)


โ€œwe didnโ€™t know any better,โ€ the crewman says, and swallows, presenting the chest to the captain. โ€œwhat do we do now?โ€
โ€œkill it,โ€ the captain says, but the ice is melting in his eyes.
โ€œwe canโ€™t,โ€ the first mate says desperately, praying she wonโ€™t have to fight her captain on this. โ€œwe canโ€™t. we - i wonโ€™t. we wonโ€™t.โ€
โ€œi know.โ€
x
โ€œdaddy,โ€ she says, floating in a tub of seawater in the hold, โ€œdaddy, la-la, la-la-la.โ€
her voice rings like bells. her accent is strange; her mouth isnโ€™t made for human words. it mesmerises even the hardiest amongst them and she wasnโ€™t even trying. the crew has taken to diving for shellfish near the shorelines for her; she loves them, splitting the shells apart with strength seen in no human toddler, slurping down the slimy molluscs inside and laughing, all plump brown cheeks and needle-sharp teeth. she sometimes splashes them for fun with her smooth, rubbery brown tail. even when they get soaked they laugh. they love her.
โ€œdaddy,โ€ she calls again, and he can hear the worry in her voice. the storm rocking the ship is harsh and uncaring, and if they go down, she would be the only survivor.
โ€œdonโ€™t worry,โ€ he says, and goes over, sitting next to the tub. the first mate, leaning against the wall, pretends not to notice as he quietly begins to sing.
x
โ€œfather,โ€ she says, one day, as she leans on the edge of the dock and the captain sits next to her, โ€œwhy am I here?โ€
โ€œyour mother abandoned you,โ€ he says, as he always has. โ€œwe found you adrift, and couldnโ€™t bear to leave you there.โ€
she picks at the salt-soaked boards, uncertain. her hair is pulled back in a fluffy black puff, the white linen holding it slipping almost over one of her dark eyes. one of her first tattoos, a many-limbed kraken, curls over her right shoulder and down her arm, delicate tendrils wrapped around her calloused fingertips. โ€œalright,โ€ she says.
x
โ€œwhy am I really here?โ€ she asks the first mate, watching the sun set over the water in streaks of liquid metal that pooled in the troughs of the waves and glittered on the seafoam.
โ€œwe didnโ€™t know any better,โ€ the first mate says, staring into the water. โ€œwe didnโ€™t know- we didnโ€™t know anything. we didnโ€™t understand why she fought so viciously to guard her treasure. we could not know she protected something a thousand times more precious than the purest gold.โ€
she wants to be furious, but she canโ€™t. she already knew the answer, from reading the guilt in her fatherโ€™s eyes and the empty space in her own history. and she canโ€™t hate her family.
โ€œitโ€™s alright,โ€ she says. โ€œi do have a family, anyways. i donโ€™t think i would have liked my other life near as much.โ€
x
her kraken grows, spreading its tendrils over her torso and arms. she grows too, too large to come on board the ship without being hauled up in a boat from the water. she sings when the storms come and swims before the ship to guide it to safety. she fights off more than one beast of the seas, and gathers a set of scars across her back that she bears with pride. โ€œi donโ€™t mind,โ€ she says, when the captain fusses over her, โ€œnow i match all of you.โ€
the first time their ship is threatened, really threatened, is by another fleet. a friend turned enemy of the first mate. โ€œwe shouldnโ€™t fight him,โ€ she says, peering through the spyglass.
โ€œwhy not?โ€ the mermaid asks.
โ€œheโ€™ll win,โ€ the first mate says.
the mermaid tips her head sideways. Her eyes, dark as the deep waters, gleam in the noon light. โ€œare you sure?โ€ she asks.
x
the enemy fleet surrenders after the flagship is sunk in the night, the anchor ripped off the ship and the planks torn off the hull. the surviving crew, wild-eyed and delirious, whimper and say a sea serpent came from the water and attacked them, say it was longer than the boat and crushed it in its coils. the first mate hears this and has to hide her laughter. the captain apologizes to his daughter for doubting her.
โ€œdonโ€™t worry,โ€ she says, with a bright laugh, โ€œit was fun.โ€
x
the second time, they are pushed by a storm into a royal fleet. they canโ€™t possibly fight them, and they donโ€™t have the time to escape.
โ€œlet me up,โ€ the mermaid urges, surfacing starboard and shouting to the crew. โ€œbring me up, quickly, quickly.โ€
they lower the boat and she piles her sinous form into it, and uses her claws to help the crew pull her up. once on the deck she flops out of the boat and makes her way over to the bow. the crew tries to help but sheโ€™s so heavy they can barely lift parts of her.
she crawls up out in front of the rail and wraps her long webbed tail around the prow. the figurehead has served them well so far but they need more right now. she wraps herself around the figurehead and raises her body up into the wind takes a breath of the stinging salt air and sings.
the storm carries her voice on its front to the royal navy. they are enchanted, so stunned by her song that they drop the rigging ropes and let the tillers drift. the pirates sail through the center of the fleet, trailing the storm behind them, and by the time the fleet has managed to regain its senses they are buried in wind and rain and the pirates are gone.
x
she declines guns. instead she carries a harpoon and its launcher, and uses them to board enemy ships, hauling her massive form out of the water to coil on the deck and dispatch enemies with ruthless efficiency. her family is feared across all the sea.
x
โ€œyou know we are dying,โ€ the captain says, looking down at her.
she floats next to the ship, so massive she could hold it in her arms. her eyes are wise.
โ€œi know,โ€ she says, โ€œi can feel it coming.โ€
the first mate stands next to the captain. she never had a lover or a child, and neither did he, but to the mermaid they are her parents. she will always love her daughter. the tattoos are graven in dark swirls across the mermaidโ€™s deep brown skin and the flesh of her tail, even spiraling onto the spiked webbing on her spine and face. her hair is still tied back, this time with a sail that could not be patched one last time. 
โ€œwe love you,โ€ the first mate says simply, looking down. her own tightly coiled black hair falls in to her face; she shakes the locs out of the way and smiles through her tears. the captain pretends he isnt crying either.
โ€œi love you too,โ€ the mermaid says, and reached up to pull the ship down just a bit, just to hold them one last time.
โ€œguard the ship,โ€ the captain says. โ€œyou always have but you know theyโ€™re lost without you.โ€
โ€œwithout you,โ€ the mermaid corrects, with a shrug that makes waves. โ€œwhat will we do?โ€
โ€œi donโ€™t know,โ€ the captain says. โ€œbut youโ€™ll help them, wonโ€™t you?โ€
โ€œof course i will,โ€ she scoffs, rolling her eyes. โ€œi will always protect my family.โ€
x
the captain and the first mate are gone. the ship has a new captain, young and fearless - of the things she can afford to disregard. she fears and loves the ocean, as all captains do. she does not fear the royal fleet. and she does not fear the mermaid.
โ€œyou know, i heard stories about you when i was a little girl,โ€ she says, trailing her fingers in the water next to the dock.
the mermaid stares at her with one eye the size of a dinner table. โ€œis that so?โ€ she hums, smirking with teeth sharper than the swords of the entire navy.
โ€œthey said you could sink an entire fleet and that you had skin tougher than dragon scales,โ€ the new captain says, grinning right back at the monster who could eat her without a momentโ€™s hesitation. โ€œi always thought they were telling tall tales.โ€
โ€œand now?โ€
โ€œthey were right,โ€ the new captain says. โ€œhow did they ever befriend you?โ€
the mermaid smiles, fully this time, her dark eyes gleaming under the white linen sail. โ€œthey didnโ€™t know any better.โ€

She protects her family.

Hi everybody! Guess whatโ€™s being posted on AO3 now at the following link!
https://archiveofourown.org/works/22498384/chapters/53760817
Thatโ€™s right! Here you go. Iโ€™ll be uploading it in some chunks, because I want to make sure I have everything I wanted edited cleanly finished, but follow the story there!




HEY GUYS GUESS WHATS BACK ON THE DASHBOARD AND BETTER THAN EVER



I love this
: ironwoman359:
cereusblue:

unnameablethings:


dragonsateyourtoast:

redporkpadthai:

dragonsateyourtoast:

otherwindow:

otherwindow:
This is how the golden age of piracy ended.
The first mermaid to get tattoos :)


โ€œwe didnโ€™t know any better,โ€ the crewman says, and swallows, presenting the chest to the captain. โ€œwhat do we do now?โ€
โ€œkill it,โ€ the captain says, but the ice is melting in his eyes.
โ€œwe canโ€™t,โ€ the first mate says desperately, praying she wonโ€™t have to fight her captain on this. โ€œwe canโ€™t. we - i wonโ€™t. we wonโ€™t.โ€
โ€œi know.โ€
x
โ€œdaddy,โ€ she says, floating in a tub of seawater in the hold, โ€œdaddy, la-la, la-la-la.โ€
her voice rings like bells. her accent is strange; her mouth isnโ€™t made for human words. it mesmerises even the hardiest amongst them and she wasnโ€™t even trying. the crew has taken to diving for shellfish near the shorelines for her; she loves them, splitting the shells apart with strength seen in no human toddler, slurping down the slimy molluscs inside and laughing, all plump brown cheeks and needle-sharp teeth. she sometimes splashes them for fun with her smooth, rubbery brown tail. even when they get soaked they laugh. they love her.
โ€œdaddy,โ€ she calls again, and he can hear the worry in her voice. the storm rocking the ship is harsh and uncaring, and if they go down, she would be the only survivor.
โ€œdonโ€™t worry,โ€ he says, and goes over, sitting next to the tub. the first mate, leaning against the wall, pretends not to notice as he quietly begins to sing.
x
โ€œfather,โ€ she says, one day, as she leans on the edge of the dock and the captain sits next to her, โ€œwhy am I here?โ€
โ€œyour mother abandoned you,โ€ he says, as he always has. โ€œwe found you adrift, and couldnโ€™t bear to leave you there.โ€
she picks at the salt-soaked boards, uncertain. her hair is pulled back in a fluffy black puff, the white linen holding it slipping almost over one of her dark eyes. one of her first tattoos, a many-limbed kraken, curls over her right shoulder and down her arm, delicate tendrils wrapped around her calloused fingertips. โ€œalright,โ€ she says.
x
โ€œwhy am I really here?โ€ she asks the first mate, watching the sun set over the water in streaks of liquid metal that pooled in the troughs of the waves and glittered on the seafoam.
โ€œwe didnโ€™t know any better,โ€ the first mate says, staring into the water. โ€œwe didnโ€™t know- we didnโ€™t know anything. we didnโ€™t understand why she fought so viciously to guard her treasure. we could not know she protected something a thousand times more precious than the purest gold.โ€
she wants to be furious, but she canโ€™t. she already knew the answer, from reading the guilt in her fatherโ€™s eyes and the empty space in her own history. and she canโ€™t hate her family.
โ€œitโ€™s alright,โ€ she says. โ€œi do have a family, anyways. i donโ€™t think i would have liked my other life near as much.โ€
x
her kraken grows, spreading its tendrils over her torso and arms. she grows too, too large to come on board the ship without being hauled up in a boat from the water. she sings when the storms come and swims before the ship to guide it to safety. she fights off more than one beast of the seas, and gathers a set of scars across her back that she bears with pride. โ€œi donโ€™t mind,โ€ she says, when the captain fusses over her, โ€œnow i match all of you.โ€
the first time their ship is threatened, really threatened, is by another fleet. a friend turned enemy of the first mate. โ€œwe shouldnโ€™t fight him,โ€ she says, peering through the spyglass.
โ€œwhy not?โ€ the mermaid asks.
โ€œheโ€™ll win,โ€ the first mate says.
the mermaid tips her head sideways. Her eyes, dark as the deep waters, gleam in the noon light. โ€œare you sure?โ€ she asks.
x
the enemy fleet surrenders after the flagship is sunk in the night, the anchor ripped off the ship and the planks torn off the hull. the surviving crew, wild-eyed and delirious, whimper and say a sea serpent came from the water and attacked them, say it was longer than the boat and crushed it in its coils. the first mate hears this and has to hide her laughter. the captain apologizes to his daughter for doubting her.
โ€œdonโ€™t worry,โ€ she says, with a bright laugh, โ€œit was fun.โ€
x
the second time, they are pushed by a storm into a royal fleet. they canโ€™t possibly fight them, and they donโ€™t have the time to escape.
โ€œlet me up,โ€ the mermaid urges, surfacing starboard and shouting to the crew. โ€œbring me up, quickly, quickly.โ€
they lower the boat and she piles her sinous form into it, and uses her claws to help the crew pull her up. once on the deck she flops out of the boat and makes her way over to the bow. the crew tries to help but sheโ€™s so heavy they can barely lift parts of her.
she crawls up out in front of the rail and wraps her long webbed tail around the prow. the figurehead has served them well so far but they need more right now. she wraps herself around the figurehead and raises her body up into the wind takes a breath of the stinging salt air and sings.
the storm carries her voice on its front to the royal navy. they are enchanted, so stunned by her song that they drop the rigging ropes and let the tillers drift. the pirates sail through the center of the fleet, trailing the storm behind them, and by the time the fleet has managed to regain its senses they are buried in wind and rain and the pirates are gone.
x
she declines guns. instead she carries a harpoon and its launcher, and uses them to board enemy ships, hauling her massive form out of the water to coil on the deck and dispatch enemies with ruthless efficiency. her family is feared across all the sea.
x
โ€œyou know we are dying,โ€ the captain says, looking down at her.
she floats next to the ship, so massive she could hold it in her arms. her eyes are wise.
โ€œi know,โ€ she says, โ€œi can feel it coming.โ€
the first mate stands next to the captain. she never had a lover or a child, and neither did he, but to the mermaid they are her parents. she will always love her daughter. the tattoos are graven in dark swirls across the mermaidโ€™s deep brown skin and the flesh of her tail, even spiraling onto the spiked webbing on her spine and face. her hair is still tied back, this time with a sail that could not be patched one last time. 
โ€œwe love you,โ€ the first mate says simply, looking down. her own tightly coiled black hair falls in to her face; she shakes the locs out of the way and smiles through her tears. the captain pretends he isnt crying either.
โ€œi love you too,โ€ the mermaid says, and reached up to pull the ship down just a bit, just to hold them one last time.
โ€œguard the ship,โ€ the captain says. โ€œyou always have but you know theyโ€™re lost without you.โ€
โ€œwithout you,โ€ the mermaid corrects, with a shrug that makes waves. โ€œwhat will we do?โ€
โ€œi donโ€™t know,โ€ the captain says. โ€œbut youโ€™ll help them, wonโ€™t you?โ€
โ€œof course i will,โ€ she scoffs, rolling her eyes. โ€œi will always protect my family.โ€
x
the captain and the first mate are gone. the ship has a new captain, young and fearless - of the things she can afford to disregard. she fears and loves the ocean, as all captains do. she does not fear the royal fleet. and she does not fear the mermaid.
โ€œyou know, i heard stories about you when i was a little girl,โ€ she says, trailing her fingers in the water next to the dock.
the mermaid stares at her with one eye the size of a dinner table. โ€œis that so?โ€ she hums, smirking with teeth sharper than the swords of the entire navy.
โ€œthey said you could sink an entire fleet and that you had skin tougher than dragon scales,โ€ the new captain says, grinning right back at the monster who could eat her without a momentโ€™s hesitation. โ€œi always thought they were telling tall tales.โ€
โ€œand now?โ€
โ€œthey were right,โ€ the new captain says. โ€œhow did they ever befriend you?โ€
the mermaid smiles, fully this time, her dark eyes gleaming under the white linen sail. โ€œthey didnโ€™t know any better.โ€

She protects her family.

Hi everybody! Guess whatโ€™s being posted on AO3 now at the following link!
https://archiveofourown.org/works/22498384/chapters/53760817
Thatโ€™s right! Here you go. Iโ€™ll be uploading it in some chunks, because I want to make sure I have everything I wanted edited cleanly finished, but follow the story there!




HEY GUYS GUESS WHATS BACK ON THE DASHBOARD AND BETTER THAN EVER



I love this

        

            
            

                
                
                    ironwoman359:
cereusblue:

unnameablethings:


dragonsateyourtoast:

redporkpadthai:

dragonsateyourtoast:

otherwindow:

otherwindow:
This is how the golden age of piracy ended.
The first mermaid to get tattoos :)


โ€œwe didnโ€™t know any better,โ€ the crewman says, and swallows, presenting the chest to the captain. โ€œwhat do we do now?โ€
โ€œkill it,โ€ the captain says, but the ice is melting in his eyes.
โ€œwe canโ€™t,โ€ the first mate says desperately, praying she wonโ€™t have to fight her captain on this. โ€œwe canโ€™t. we - i wonโ€™t. we wonโ€™t.โ€
โ€œi know.โ€
x
โ€œdaddy,โ€ she says, floating in a tub of seawater in the hold, โ€œdaddy, la-la, la-la-la.โ€
her voice rings like bells. her accent is strange; her mouth isnโ€™t made for human words. it mesmerises even the hardiest amongst them and she wasnโ€™t even trying. the crew has taken to diving for shellfish near the shorelines for her; she loves them, splitting the shells apart with strength seen in no human toddler, slurping down the slimy molluscs inside and laughing, all plump brown cheeks and needle-sharp teeth. she sometimes splashes them for fun with her smooth, rubbery brown tail. even when they get soaked they laugh. they love her.
โ€œdaddy,โ€ she calls again, and he can hear the worry in her voice. the storm rocking the ship is harsh and uncaring, and if they go down, she would be the only survivor.
โ€œdonโ€™t worry,โ€ he says, and goes over, sitting next to the tub. the first mate, leaning against the wall, pretends not to notice as he quietly begins to sing.
x
โ€œfather,โ€ she says, one day, as she leans on the edge of the dock and the captain sits next to her, โ€œwhy am I here?โ€
โ€œyour mother abandoned you,โ€ he says, as he always has. โ€œwe found you adrift, and couldnโ€™t bear to leave you there.โ€
she picks at the salt-soaked boards, uncertain. her hair is pulled back in a fluffy black puff, the white linen holding it slipping almost over one of her dark eyes. one of her first tattoos, a many-limbed kraken, curls over her right shoulder and down her arm, delicate tendrils wrapped around her calloused fingertips. โ€œalright,โ€ she says.
x
โ€œwhy am I really here?โ€ she asks the first mate, watching the sun set over the water in streaks of liquid metal that pooled in the troughs of the waves and glittered on the seafoam.
โ€œwe didnโ€™t know any better,โ€ the first mate says, staring into the water. โ€œwe didnโ€™t know- we didnโ€™t know anything. we didnโ€™t understand why she fought so viciously to guard her treasure. we could not know she protected something a thousand times more precious than the purest gold.โ€
she wants to be furious, but she canโ€™t. she already knew the answer, from reading the guilt in her fatherโ€™s eyes and the empty space in her own history. and she canโ€™t hate her family.
โ€œitโ€™s alright,โ€ she says. โ€œi do have a family, anyways. i donโ€™t think i would have liked my other life near as much.โ€
x
her kraken grows, spreading its tendrils over her torso and arms. she grows too, too large to come on board the ship without being hauled up in a boat from the water. she sings when the storms come and swims before the ship to guide it to safety. she fights off more than one beast of the seas, and gathers a set of scars across her back that she bears with pride. โ€œi donโ€™t mind,โ€ she says, when the captain fusses over her, โ€œnow i match all of you.โ€
the first time their ship is threatened, really threatened, is by another fleet. a friend turned enemy of the first mate. โ€œwe shouldnโ€™t fight him,โ€ she says, peering through the spyglass.
โ€œwhy not?โ€ the mermaid asks.
โ€œheโ€™ll win,โ€ the first mate says.
the mermaid tips her head sideways. Her eyes, dark as the deep waters, gleam in the noon light. โ€œare you sure?โ€ she asks.
x
the enemy fleet surrenders after the flagship is sunk in the night, the anchor ripped off the ship and the planks torn off the hull. the surviving crew, wild-eyed and delirious, whimper and say a sea serpent came from the water and attacked them, say it was longer than the boat and crushed it in its coils. the first mate hears this and has to hide her laughter. the captain apologizes to his daughter for doubting her.
โ€œdonโ€™t worry,โ€ she says, with a bright laugh, โ€œit was fun.โ€
x
the second time, they are pushed by a storm into a royal fleet. they canโ€™t possibly fight them, and they donโ€™t have the time to escape.
โ€œlet me up,โ€ the mermaid urges, surfacing starboard and shouting to the crew. โ€œbring me up, quickly, quickly.โ€
they lower the boat and she piles her sinous form into it, and uses her claws to help the crew pull her up. once on the deck she flops out of the boat and makes her way over to the bow. the crew tries to help but sheโ€™s so heavy they can barely lift parts of her.
she crawls up out in front of the rail and wraps her long webbed tail around the prow. the figurehead has served them well so far but they need more right now. she wraps herself around the figurehead and raises her body up into the wind takes a breath of the stinging salt air and sings.
the storm carries her voice on its front to the royal navy. they are enchanted, so stunned by her song that they drop the rigging ropes and let the tillers drift. the pirates sail through the center of the fleet, trailing the storm behind them, and by the time the fleet has managed to regain its senses they are buried in wind and rain and the pirates are gone.
x
she declines guns. instead she carries a harpoon and its launcher, and uses them to board enemy ships, hauling her massive form out of the water to coil on the deck and dispatch enemies with ruthless efficiency. her family is feared across all the sea.
x
โ€œyou know we are dying,โ€ the captain says, looking down at her.
she floats next to the ship, so massive she could hold it in her arms. her eyes are wise.
โ€œi know,โ€ she says, โ€œi can feel it coming.โ€
the first mate stands next to the captain. she never had a lover or a child, and neither did he, but to the mermaid they are her parents. she will always love her daughter. the tattoos are graven in dark swirls across the mermaidโ€™s deep brown skin and the flesh of her tail, even spiraling onto the spiked webbing on her spine and face. her hair is still tied back, this time with a sail that could not be patched one last time. 
โ€œwe love you,โ€ the first mate says simply, looking down. her own tightly coiled black hair falls in to her face; she shakes the locs out of the way and smiles through her tears. the captain pretends he isnt crying either.
โ€œi love you too,โ€ the mermaid says, and reached up to pull the ship down just a bit, just to hold them one last time.
โ€œguard the ship,โ€ the captain says. โ€œyou always have but you know theyโ€™re lost without you.โ€
โ€œwithout you,โ€ the mermaid corrects, with a shrug that makes waves. โ€œwhat will we do?โ€
โ€œi donโ€™t know,โ€ the captain says. โ€œbut youโ€™ll help them, wonโ€™t you?โ€
โ€œof course i will,โ€ she scoffs, rolling her eyes. โ€œi will always protect my family.โ€
x
the captain and the first mate are gone. the ship has a new captain, young and fearless - of the things she can afford to disregard. she fears and loves the ocean, as all captains do. she does not fear the royal fleet. and she does not fear the mermaid.
โ€œyou know, i heard stories about you when i was a little girl,โ€ she says, trailing her fingers in the water next to the dock.
the mermaid stares at her with one eye the size of a dinner table. โ€œis that so?โ€ she hums, smirking with teeth sharper than the swords of the entire navy.
โ€œthey said you could sink an entire fleet and that you had skin tougher than dragon scales,โ€ the new captain says, grinning right back at the monster who could eat her without a momentโ€™s hesitation. โ€œi always thought they were telling tall tales.โ€
โ€œand now?โ€
โ€œthey were right,โ€ the new captain says. โ€œhow did they ever befriend you?โ€
the mermaid smiles, fully this time, her dark eyes gleaming under the white linen sail. โ€œthey didnโ€™t know any better.โ€

She protects her family.

Hi everybody! Guess whatโ€™s being posted on AO3 now at the following link!
https://archiveofourown.org/works/22498384/chapters/53760817
Thatโ€™s right! Here you go. Iโ€™ll be uploading it in some chunks, because I want to make sure I have everything I wanted edited cleanly finished, but follow the story there!




HEY GUYS GUESS WHATS BACK ON THE DASHBOARD AND BETTER THAN EVER



I love this
: ironwoman359:
cereusblue:

unnameablethings:


dragonsateyourtoast:

redporkpadthai:

dragonsateyourtoast:

otherwindow:

otherwindow:
This is how the golden age of piracy ended.
The first mermaid to get tattoos :)


โ€œwe didnโ€™t know any better,โ€ the crewman says, and swallows, presenting the chest to the captain. โ€œwhat do we do now?โ€
โ€œkill it,โ€ the captain says, but the ice is melting in his eyes.
โ€œwe canโ€™t,โ€ the first mate says desperately, praying she wonโ€™t have to fight her captain on this. โ€œwe canโ€™t. we - i wonโ€™t. we wonโ€™t.โ€
โ€œi know.โ€
x
โ€œdaddy,โ€ she says, floating in a tub of seawater in the hold, โ€œdaddy, la-la, la-la-la.โ€
her voice rings like bells. her accent is strange; her mouth isnโ€™t made for human words. it mesmerises even the hardiest amongst them and she wasnโ€™t even trying. the crew has taken to diving for shellfish near the shorelines for her; she loves them, splitting the shells apart with strength seen in no human toddler, slurping down the slimy molluscs inside and laughing, all plump brown cheeks and needle-sharp teeth. she sometimes splashes them for fun with her smooth, rubbery brown tail. even when they get soaked they laugh. they love her.
โ€œdaddy,โ€ she calls again, and he can hear the worry in her voice. the storm rocking the ship is harsh and uncaring, and if they go down, she would be the only survivor.
โ€œdonโ€™t worry,โ€ he says, and goes over, sitting next to the tub. the first mate, leaning against the wall, pretends not to notice as he quietly begins to sing.
x
โ€œfather,โ€ she says, one day, as she leans on the edge of the dock and the captain sits next to her, โ€œwhy am I here?โ€
โ€œyour mother abandoned you,โ€ he says, as he always has. โ€œwe found you adrift, and couldnโ€™t bear to leave you there.โ€
she picks at the salt-soaked boards, uncertain. her hair is pulled back in a fluffy black puff, the white linen holding it slipping almost over one of her dark eyes. one of her first tattoos, a many-limbed kraken, curls over her right shoulder and down her arm, delicate tendrils wrapped around her calloused fingertips. โ€œalright,โ€ she says.
x
โ€œwhy am I really here?โ€ she asks the first mate, watching the sun set over the water in streaks of liquid metal that pooled in the troughs of the waves and glittered on the seafoam.
โ€œwe didnโ€™t know any better,โ€ the first mate says, staring into the water. โ€œwe didnโ€™t know- we didnโ€™t know anything. we didnโ€™t understand why she fought so viciously to guard her treasure. we could not know she protected something a thousand times more precious than the purest gold.โ€
she wants to be furious, but she canโ€™t. she already knew the answer, from reading the guilt in her fatherโ€™s eyes and the empty space in her own history. and she canโ€™t hate her family.
โ€œitโ€™s alright,โ€ she says. โ€œi do have a family, anyways. i donโ€™t think i would have liked my other life near as much.โ€
x
her kraken grows, spreading its tendrils over her torso and arms. she grows too, too large to come on board the ship without being hauled up in a boat from the water. she sings when the storms come and swims before the ship to guide it to safety. she fights off more than one beast of the seas, and gathers a set of scars across her back that she bears with pride. โ€œi donโ€™t mind,โ€ she says, when the captain fusses over her, โ€œnow i match all of you.โ€
the first time their ship is threatened, really threatened, is by another fleet. a friend turned enemy of the first mate. โ€œwe shouldnโ€™t fight him,โ€ she says, peering through the spyglass.
โ€œwhy not?โ€ the mermaid asks.
โ€œheโ€™ll win,โ€ the first mate says.
the mermaid tips her head sideways. Her eyes, dark as the deep waters, gleam in the noon light. โ€œare you sure?โ€ she asks.
x
the enemy fleet surrenders after the flagship is sunk in the night, the anchor ripped off the ship and the planks torn off the hull. the surviving crew, wild-eyed and delirious, whimper and say a sea serpent came from the water and attacked them, say it was longer than the boat and crushed it in its coils. the first mate hears this and has to hide her laughter. the captain apologizes to his daughter for doubting her.
โ€œdonโ€™t worry,โ€ she says, with a bright laugh, โ€œit was fun.โ€
x
the second time, they are pushed by a storm into a royal fleet. they canโ€™t possibly fight them, and they donโ€™t have the time to escape.
โ€œlet me up,โ€ the mermaid urges, surfacing starboard and shouting to the crew. โ€œbring me up, quickly, quickly.โ€
they lower the boat and she piles her sinous form into it, and uses her claws to help the crew pull her up. once on the deck she flops out of the boat and makes her way over to the bow. the crew tries to help but sheโ€™s so heavy they can barely lift parts of her.
she crawls up out in front of the rail and wraps her long webbed tail around the prow. the figurehead has served them well so far but they need more right now. she wraps herself around the figurehead and raises her body up into the wind takes a breath of the stinging salt air and sings.
the storm carries her voice on its front to the royal navy. they are enchanted, so stunned by her song that they drop the rigging ropes and let the tillers drift. the pirates sail through the center of the fleet, trailing the storm behind them, and by the time the fleet has managed to regain its senses they are buried in wind and rain and the pirates are gone.
x
she declines guns. instead she carries a harpoon and its launcher, and uses them to board enemy ships, hauling her massive form out of the water to coil on the deck and dispatch enemies with ruthless efficiency. her family is feared across all the sea.
x
โ€œyou know we are dying,โ€ the captain says, looking down at her.
she floats next to the ship, so massive she could hold it in her arms. her eyes are wise.
โ€œi know,โ€ she says, โ€œi can feel it coming.โ€
the first mate stands next to the captain. she never had a lover or a child, and neither did he, but to the mermaid they are her parents. she will always love her daughter. the tattoos are graven in dark swirls across the mermaidโ€™s deep brown skin and the flesh of her tail, even spiraling onto the spiked webbing on her spine and face. her hair is still tied back, this time with a sail that could not be patched one last time. 
โ€œwe love you,โ€ the first mate says simply, looking down. her own tightly coiled black hair falls in to her face; she shakes the locs out of the way and smiles through her tears. the captain pretends he isnt crying either.
โ€œi love you too,โ€ the mermaid says, and reached up to pull the ship down just a bit, just to hold them one last time.
โ€œguard the ship,โ€ the captain says. โ€œyou always have but you know theyโ€™re lost without you.โ€
โ€œwithout you,โ€ the mermaid corrects, with a shrug that makes waves. โ€œwhat will we do?โ€
โ€œi donโ€™t know,โ€ the captain says. โ€œbut youโ€™ll help them, wonโ€™t you?โ€
โ€œof course i will,โ€ she scoffs, rolling her eyes. โ€œi will always protect my family.โ€
x
the captain and the first mate are gone. the ship has a new captain, young and fearless - of the things she can afford to disregard. she fears and loves the ocean, as all captains do. she does not fear the royal fleet. and she does not fear the mermaid.
โ€œyou know, i heard stories about you when i was a little girl,โ€ she says, trailing her fingers in the water next to the dock.
the mermaid stares at her with one eye the size of a dinner table. โ€œis that so?โ€ she hums, smirking with teeth sharper than the swords of the entire navy.
โ€œthey said you could sink an entire fleet and that you had skin tougher than dragon scales,โ€ the new captain says, grinning right back at the monster who could eat her without a momentโ€™s hesitation. โ€œi always thought they were telling tall tales.โ€
โ€œand now?โ€
โ€œthey were right,โ€ the new captain says. โ€œhow did they ever befriend you?โ€
the mermaid smiles, fully this time, her dark eyes gleaming under the white linen sail. โ€œthey didnโ€™t know any better.โ€

She protects her family.

Hi everybody! Guess whatโ€™s being posted on AO3 now at the following link!
https://archiveofourown.org/works/22498384/chapters/53760817
Thatโ€™s right! Here you go. Iโ€™ll be uploading it in some chunks, because I want to make sure I have everything I wanted edited cleanly finished, but follow the story there!




HEY GUYS GUESS WHATS BACK ON THE DASHBOARD AND BETTER THAN EVER



I love this

                    
                
            

            
                
                
ironwoman359:
cereusblue:

unnameablethings:


dragonsateyourtoast:

redporkpadthai:

dragonsateyourtoast:

otherwindow:

otherwindow:
Th...

                
            
            
        

    

    

        
Save

    



        

    

    
    

        

            








        

    

    
    

        

            









    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        blizzrhy:

libertarirynn:

dashas-hideous-laughter:

fanburgers:


laizy-boy:


ask-crammaster-ham:


hereโ€™s the closeted furries โ€œhey manโ€ฆ can u bum me a cigโ€ and โ€œthe one uncle nobody invites to the family reunion but SOMEONE keeps telling him where it is anywaysโ€


if you want an idea of what john is like, imagine hau from pokemon sumo
ALSO the ppl who kept asking me for trans thomas art, HERE heโ€™s trans in this au (;ย 
ft John:



I found the original 



Oh wow itโ€™s even worse than I expected. This is truly the post of the decade



Wait, but SUMO came out in 2016, I couldโ€™ve sworn I saw this back in 2015.



How fucking dare you. How fucking dare you put this on my dash again. Just when I had eradicated it from my memory you dredge it back up out of the sewers. I will come to your house. I will burn it to the ground. I will end your bloodline.๏ฟผ


Wannabe teens pretending to be trans gotta stop making this shit. Is borderline offensive, honestly. Donโ€™t make your characters trans for the sake of it. Youโ€™re only using a real and difficult condition to make your characters more โ€œinterestingโ€, itโ€™s not useful to the story or relevant, to you itโ€™s like character being blonde. Itโ€™s exactly the same as using rape to add action to an already shitty tale, just DONโ€™T. 


Thatโ€™s not even the real issue here. The issue is that these guys ARENโ€™T CHARACTERS. They arenโ€™t fucking fictional! Theyโ€™re real historical people! Some of them were straight up fucking slave owners๏ฟผ๏ฟผ! โ€œWhat if this actual historical person who had a teenage slave concubine was actually a cute black transboi uwuโ€๏ฟผ is literally fucking horrifying.๏ฟผ: blizzrhy:

libertarirynn:

dashas-hideous-laughter:

fanburgers:


laizy-boy:


ask-crammaster-ham:


hereโ€™s the closeted furries โ€œhey manโ€ฆ can u bum me a cigโ€ and โ€œthe one uncle nobody invites to the family reunion but SOMEONE keeps telling him where it is anywaysโ€


if you want an idea of what john is like, imagine hau from pokemon sumo
ALSO the ppl who kept asking me for trans thomas art, HERE heโ€™s trans in this au (;ย 
ft John:



I found the original 



Oh wow itโ€™s even worse than I expected. This is truly the post of the decade



Wait, but SUMO came out in 2016, I couldโ€™ve sworn I saw this back in 2015.



How fucking dare you. How fucking dare you put this on my dash again. Just when I had eradicated it from my memory you dredge it back up out of the sewers. I will come to your house. I will burn it to the ground. I will end your bloodline.๏ฟผ


Wannabe teens pretending to be trans gotta stop making this shit. Is borderline offensive, honestly. Donโ€™t make your characters trans for the sake of it. Youโ€™re only using a real and difficult condition to make your characters more โ€œinterestingโ€, itโ€™s not useful to the story or relevant, to you itโ€™s like character being blonde. Itโ€™s exactly the same as using rape to add action to an already shitty tale, just DONโ€™T. 


Thatโ€™s not even the real issue here. The issue is that these guys ARENโ€™T CHARACTERS. They arenโ€™t fucking fictional! Theyโ€™re real historical people! Some of them were straight up fucking slave owners๏ฟผ๏ฟผ! โ€œWhat if this actual historical person who had a teenage slave concubine was actually a cute black transboi uwuโ€๏ฟผ is literally fucking horrifying.๏ฟผ
        

            
            

                
                
                    blizzrhy:

libertarirynn:

dashas-hideous-laughter:

fanburgers:


laizy-boy:


ask-crammaster-ham:


hereโ€™s the closeted furries โ€œhey manโ€ฆ can u bum me a cigโ€ and โ€œthe one uncle nobody invites to the family reunion but SOMEONE keeps telling him where it is anywaysโ€


if you want an idea of what john is like, imagine hau from pokemon sumo
ALSO the ppl who kept asking me for trans thomas art, HERE heโ€™s trans in this au (;ย 
ft John:



I found the original 



Oh wow itโ€™s even worse than I expected. This is truly the post of the decade



Wait, but SUMO came out in 2016, I couldโ€™ve sworn I saw this back in 2015.



How fucking dare you. How fucking dare you put this on my dash again. Just when I had eradicated it from my memory you dredge it back up out of the sewers. I will come to your house. I will burn it to the ground. I will end your bloodline.๏ฟผ


Wannabe teens pretending to be trans gotta stop making this shit. Is borderline offensive, honestly. Donโ€™t make your characters trans for the sake of it. Youโ€™re only using a real and difficult condition to make your characters more โ€œinterestingโ€, itโ€™s not useful to the story or relevant, to you itโ€™s like character being blonde. Itโ€™s exactly the same as using rape to add action to an already shitty tale, just DONโ€™T. 


Thatโ€™s not even the real issue here. The issue is that these guys ARENโ€™T CHARACTERS. They arenโ€™t fucking fictional! Theyโ€™re real historical people! Some of them were straight up fucking slave owners๏ฟผ๏ฟผ! โ€œWhat if this actual historical person who had a teenage slave concubine was actually a cute black transboi uwuโ€๏ฟผ is literally fucking horrifying.๏ฟผ: blizzrhy:

libertarirynn:

dashas-hideous-laughter:

fanburgers:


laizy-boy:


ask-crammaster-ham:


hereโ€™s the closeted furries โ€œhey manโ€ฆ can u bum me a cigโ€ and โ€œthe one uncle nobody invites to the family reunion but SOMEONE keeps telling him where it is anywaysโ€


if you want an idea of what john is like, imagine hau from pokemon sumo
ALSO the ppl who kept asking me for trans thomas art, HERE heโ€™s trans in this au (;ย 
ft John:



I found the original 



Oh wow itโ€™s even worse than I expected. This is truly the post of the decade



Wait, but SUMO came out in 2016, I couldโ€™ve sworn I saw this back in 2015.



How fucking dare you. How fucking dare you put this on my dash again. Just when I had eradicated it from my memory you dredge it back up out of the sewers. I will come to your house. I will burn it to the ground. I will end your bloodline.๏ฟผ


Wannabe teens pretending to be trans gotta stop making this shit. Is borderline offensive, honestly. Donโ€™t make your characters trans for the sake of it. Youโ€™re only using a real and difficult condition to make your characters more โ€œinterestingโ€, itโ€™s not useful to the story or relevant, to you itโ€™s like character being blonde. Itโ€™s exactly the same as using rape to add action to an already shitty tale, just DONโ€™T. 


Thatโ€™s not even the real issue here. The issue is that these guys ARENโ€™T CHARACTERS. They arenโ€™t fucking fictional! Theyโ€™re real historical people! Some of them were straight up fucking slave owners๏ฟผ๏ฟผ! โ€œWhat if this actual historical person who had a teenage slave concubine was actually a cute black transboi uwuโ€๏ฟผ is literally fucking horrifying.๏ฟผ
                    
                
            

            
            
        

    

    

        
Save

    



        

    

    
    

        

            









    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        dashas-hideous-laughter:

fanburgers:


laizy-boy:


ask-crammaster-ham:


hereโ€™s the closeted furries โ€œhey manโ€ฆ can u bum me a cigโ€ and โ€œthe one uncle nobody invites to the family reunion but SOMEONE keeps telling him where it is anywaysโ€


if you want an idea of what john is like, imagine hau from pokemon sumo
ALSO the ppl who kept asking me for trans thomas art, HERE heโ€™s trans in this au (;ย 
ft John:



I found the original 



Oh wow itโ€™s even worse than I expected. This is truly the post of the decade



Wait, but SUMO came out in 2016, I couldโ€™ve sworn I saw this back in 2015.



How fucking dare you. How fucking dare you put this on my dash again. Just when I had eradicated it from my memory you dredge it back up out of the sewers. I will come to your house. I will burn it to the ground. I will end your bloodline.๏ฟผ: dashas-hideous-laughter:

fanburgers:


laizy-boy:


ask-crammaster-ham:


hereโ€™s the closeted furries โ€œhey manโ€ฆ can u bum me a cigโ€ and โ€œthe one uncle nobody invites to the family reunion but SOMEONE keeps telling him where it is anywaysโ€


if you want an idea of what john is like, imagine hau from pokemon sumo
ALSO the ppl who kept asking me for trans thomas art, HERE heโ€™s trans in this au (;ย 
ft John:



I found the original 



Oh wow itโ€™s even worse than I expected. This is truly the post of the decade



Wait, but SUMO came out in 2016, I couldโ€™ve sworn I saw this back in 2015.



How fucking dare you. How fucking dare you put this on my dash again. Just when I had eradicated it from my memory you dredge it back up out of the sewers. I will come to your house. I will burn it to the ground. I will end your bloodline.๏ฟผ
        

            
            

                
                
                    dashas-hideous-laughter:

fanburgers:


laizy-boy:


ask-crammaster-ham:


hereโ€™s the closeted furries โ€œhey manโ€ฆ can u bum me a cigโ€ and โ€œthe one uncle nobody invites to the family reunion but SOMEONE keeps telling him where it is anywaysโ€


if you want an idea of what john is like, imagine hau from pokemon sumo
ALSO the ppl who kept asking me for trans thomas art, HERE heโ€™s trans in this au (;ย 
ft John:



I found the original 



Oh wow itโ€™s even worse than I expected. This is truly the post of the decade



Wait, but SUMO came out in 2016, I couldโ€™ve sworn I saw this back in 2015.



How fucking dare you. How fucking dare you put this on my dash again. Just when I had eradicated it from my memory you dredge it back up out of the sewers. I will come to your house. I will burn it to the ground. I will end your bloodline.๏ฟผ: dashas-hideous-laughter:

fanburgers:


laizy-boy:


ask-crammaster-ham:


hereโ€™s the closeted furries โ€œhey manโ€ฆ can u bum me a cigโ€ and โ€œthe one uncle nobody invites to the family reunion but SOMEONE keeps telling him where it is anywaysโ€


if you want an idea of what john is like, imagine hau from pokemon sumo
ALSO the ppl who kept asking me for trans thomas art, HERE heโ€™s trans in this au (;ย 
ft John:



I found the original 



Oh wow itโ€™s even worse than I expected. This is truly the post of the decade



Wait, but SUMO came out in 2016, I couldโ€™ve sworn I saw this back in 2015.



How fucking dare you. How fucking dare you put this on my dash again. Just when I had eradicated it from my memory you dredge it back up out of the sewers. I will come to your house. I will burn it to the ground. I will end your bloodline.๏ฟผ
                    
                
            

            
            
        

    

    

        
Save

    



        

    

    
    

        

            









    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        [laughter]: [laughter]
        

            
            

                
                
                    [laughter]: [laughter]
                    
                
            

            
                
                
[laughter]

                
            
            
        

    

    

        
Save

    



        

    

    
    

        

            








        

    

    
    

        

            








        

    

    
    

        

            









    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        kawaiitriot:

Been awhile since I made one of these but I felt inspired: brian david gilbert O @briamgilbert ยท 15h
 17%
 if you're judging by how many times i mumbled "wow." after leaving the
 theater, cats is exactly as good as parasite
 O 105
 27 1.8K
 22.6K
 TOMATOMETER
 A spectacular disaster...This movie feels like
 a prank but I don't know on whom.
 Congratulations to dogs.
 I gasped with laughter, I covered my face, I
 pulled at my hair, I clasped my hands over my mouth to keep
 from screaming. Cats had broken me
 * I felt the light inside me slowly fading.
 CATE
 Hollywood Reporter
 Cat-astrophic.
 MirrorMovies O
 @MirrorMovies
 LA Times
 "Cats" is both a horror and an endurance test.
 #CATSMovie first reactions call it "way too horny" and
 "bewildering"
 The Beat
 Cats is the worst thing to happen to cats since dogs.
 Mashable O @mashable ยท Dec 16
 M No, 'Cats' can not have a little salami: Jason Derulo says his penis was edited
 brace yourself
 out of the movie trib.al/PCFICBY
 Lindsay Ellis O @thelindsayellis 7h
 I am so confused by the people calling it boring. It's just two hours of body
 horror and bewilderment and frustrating filmmaking. I loved it.
 I didn't hate it.
 You must witness the hubris of director Tom December 19, 2019
 Hooper. You must witness the hubris of Hollywood. The hubris of
 these performers.
 X Oh God, my eyes.
 JERS
 JuanPa O @jpbrammer ยท 14h
 CATS said here's the movie you deserve
 * By the time I left the theater, I wasn't even
 sure what a real cat looked like anymore.
kawaiitriot:

Been awhile since I made one of these but I felt inspired
        

            
            

                
                
                    kawaiitriot:

Been awhile since I made one of these but I felt inspired: brian david gilbert O @briamgilbert ยท 15h
 17%
 if you're judging by how many times i mumbled "wow." after leaving the
 theater, cats is exactly as good as parasite
 O 105
 27 1.8K
 22.6K
 TOMATOMETER
 A spectacular disaster...This movie feels like
 a prank but I don't know on whom.
 Congratulations to dogs.
 I gasped with laughter, I covered my face, I
 pulled at my hair, I clasped my hands over my mouth to keep
 from screaming. Cats had broken me
 * I felt the light inside me slowly fading.
 CATE
 Hollywood Reporter
 Cat-astrophic.
 MirrorMovies O
 @MirrorMovies
 LA Times
 "Cats" is both a horror and an endurance test.
 #CATSMovie first reactions call it "way too horny" and
 "bewildering"
 The Beat
 Cats is the worst thing to happen to cats since dogs.
 Mashable O @mashable ยท Dec 16
 M No, 'Cats' can not have a little salami: Jason Derulo says his penis was edited
 brace yourself
 out of the movie trib.al/PCFICBY
 Lindsay Ellis O @thelindsayellis 7h
 I am so confused by the people calling it boring. It's just two hours of body
 horror and bewilderment and frustrating filmmaking. I loved it.
 I didn't hate it.
 You must witness the hubris of director Tom December 19, 2019
 Hooper. You must witness the hubris of Hollywood. The hubris of
 these performers.
 X Oh God, my eyes.
 JERS
 JuanPa O @jpbrammer ยท 14h
 CATS said here's the movie you deserve
 * By the time I left the theater, I wasn't even
 sure what a real cat looked like anymore.
kawaiitriot:

Been awhile since I made one of these but I felt inspired
                    
                
            

            
            
        

    

    

        
Save

    



        

    

    
    

        

            








        

    

    
    

        

            








        

    

    
    

        

            








        

    

    
    

        

            








        

    

    
    

        

            








        

    

    
    

        

            








        

    

    
    

        

            








        

    

    
    

        

            








        

    

    
    

        

            








        

    

    
    

        

            








        

    

    
    

        

            








        

    

    
    

        

            








        

    

    
    

        

            








        

    

    
    

        

            








        

    

    
    

        

            








        

    

    
    

        

            








        

    

    
    

        

            








        

    

    
    

        

            








        

    

    
    

        

            








        

    

    
    

        

            








        

    

    
    

        

            








        

    

    
    

        

            








        

    

    
    

        

            









    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        crimsonkismet:

๐š…๐š•๐šŠ๐š๐š’๐š–๐š’๐š› ๐™ฝ๐šŠ๐š‹๐š˜๐š”๐š˜๐šŸ, ๐™ป๐šŠ๐šž๐š๐š‘๐š๐šŽ๐š› ๐š’๐š— ๐š๐š‘๐šŽ ๐™ณ๐šŠ๐š›๐š” (๐š˜๐š›๐š’๐š๐š’๐š—๐šŠ๐š•๐š•๐šข ๐š™๐šž๐š‹๐š•๐š’๐šœ๐š‘๐šŽ๐š ๐Ÿท๐Ÿฟ๐Ÿน๐Ÿธ): "If I come to you I might kiss you."
crimsonkismet:

๐š…๐š•๐šŠ๐š๐š’๐š–๐š’๐š› ๐™ฝ๐šŠ๐š‹๐š˜๐š”๐š˜๐šŸ, ๐™ป๐šŠ๐šž๐š๐š‘๐š๐šŽ๐š› ๐š’๐š— ๐š๐š‘๐šŽ ๐™ณ๐šŠ๐š›๐š” (๐š˜๐š›๐š’๐š๐š’๐š—๐šŠ๐š•๐š•๐šข ๐š™๐šž๐š‹๐š•๐š’๐šœ๐š‘๐šŽ๐š ๐Ÿท๐Ÿฟ๐Ÿน๐Ÿธ)
        

            
            

                
                
                    crimsonkismet:

๐š…๐š•๐šŠ๐š๐š’๐š–๐š’๐š› ๐™ฝ๐šŠ๐š‹๐š˜๐š”๐š˜๐šŸ, ๐™ป๐šŠ๐šž๐š๐š‘๐š๐šŽ๐š› ๐š’๐š— ๐š๐š‘๐šŽ ๐™ณ๐šŠ๐š›๐š” (๐š˜๐š›๐š’๐š๐š’๐š—๐šŠ๐š•๐š•๐šข ๐š™๐šž๐š‹๐š•๐š’๐šœ๐š‘๐šŽ๐š ๐Ÿท๐Ÿฟ๐Ÿน๐Ÿธ): "If I come to you I might kiss you."
crimsonkismet:

๐š…๐š•๐šŠ๐š๐š’๐š–๐š’๐š› ๐™ฝ๐šŠ๐š‹๐š˜๐š”๐š˜๐šŸ, ๐™ป๐šŠ๐šž๐š๐š‘๐š๐šŽ๐š› ๐š’๐š— ๐š๐š‘๐šŽ ๐™ณ๐šŠ๐š›๐š” (๐š˜๐š›๐š’๐š๐š’๐š—๐šŠ๐š•๐š•๐šข ๐š™๐šž๐š‹๐š•๐š’๐šœ๐š‘๐šŽ๐š ๐Ÿท๐Ÿฟ๐Ÿน๐Ÿธ)
                    
                
            

            
                
                
crimsonkismet:

๐š…๐š•๐šŠ๐š๐š’๐š–๐š’๐š› ๐™ฝ๐šŠ๐š‹๐š˜๐š”๐š˜๐šŸ, ๐™ป๐šŠ๐šž๐š๐š‘๐š๐šŽ๐š› ๐š’๐š— ๐š๐š‘๐šŽ ๐™ณ๐šŠ๐š›๐š” (๐š˜๐š›๐š’๐š๐š’๐š—๐šŠ๐š•๐š•๐šข ๐š™๐šž๐š‹๐š•๐š’๐šœ๐š‘๐šŽ๐š ๐Ÿท๐Ÿฟ๐Ÿน๐Ÿธ)

                
            
            
        

    

    

        
Save

    



        

    

    
    

        

            








        

    

    
    

        

            








        

    

    
    

        

            








        

    

    
    

        

            








        

    

    
    

        

            








        

    

    
    

        

            








        

    

    
    

        

            








        

    

    
    

        

            








        

    

    
    

        

            








        

    

    
    

        

            








        

    

    
    

        

            









    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        I hope these two have wonderful marriage. via /r/wholesomememes https://ift.tt/2VEGw6I: r/offmychest
 /lizard_windowpane 4h
 There's an engagement ring hidden in
 my house right now.
 My boyfriend and I were on our phones, looking
 through email. He was trying to find a
 confirmation for a thing we're doing tomorrow
 but couldn't. I grabbed it and went to type
 something in the search to bring it up, and I got a
 glance of an email from an engagement ring
 company with the subject "order confirmation" in
 his Updates inbox. I froze. He froze. And then I
 proceeded to pretend like I hadn't seen it.
 So a few minutes later we're on the couch and we
 both just start kinda... giggling. And couldn't stop.
 And he was like "why are we laughing?" And I was
 like, "I DON'T KNOW" And he was like "...but you
 DO know," which led to more laughter, cause we
 both obviously knew.
 And then I asked if...it was here. He nodded. And
 then I asked if it was hidden. He nodded. And
 then I asked if we could play the Hot or Cold
 game, and he said "absolutely not" Imao.
 So that's how my evening is going. I'm utterly
 giddy. And sooo0 impatient haha. I love him so
 much and this isn't a surprise because we
 regularly discuss the fact that we're going to be
 married as soon as it's financially possible, but
 having the actual ring here feels so cool. I can't
 wait to say yes.
I hope these two have wonderful marriage. via /r/wholesomememes https://ift.tt/2VEGw6I
        

            
            

                
                
                    I hope these two have wonderful marriage. via /r/wholesomememes https://ift.tt/2VEGw6I: r/offmychest
 /lizard_windowpane 4h
 There's an engagement ring hidden in
 my house right now.
 My boyfriend and I were on our phones, looking
 through email. He was trying to find a
 confirmation for a thing we're doing tomorrow
 but couldn't. I grabbed it and went to type
 something in the search to bring it up, and I got a
 glance of an email from an engagement ring
 company with the subject "order confirmation" in
 his Updates inbox. I froze. He froze. And then I
 proceeded to pretend like I hadn't seen it.
 So a few minutes later we're on the couch and we
 both just start kinda... giggling. And couldn't stop.
 And he was like "why are we laughing?" And I was
 like, "I DON'T KNOW" And he was like "...but you
 DO know," which led to more laughter, cause we
 both obviously knew.
 And then I asked if...it was here. He nodded. And
 then I asked if it was hidden. He nodded. And
 then I asked if we could play the Hot or Cold
 game, and he said "absolutely not" Imao.
 So that's how my evening is going. I'm utterly
 giddy. And sooo0 impatient haha. I love him so
 much and this isn't a surprise because we
 regularly discuss the fact that we're going to be
 married as soon as it's financially possible, but
 having the actual ring here feels so cool. I can't
 wait to say yes.
I hope these two have wonderful marriage. via /r/wholesomememes https://ift.tt/2VEGw6I
                    
                
            

            
                
                
I hope these two have wonderful marriage. via /r/wholesomememes https://ift.tt/2VEGw6I

                
            
            
        

    

    

        
Save

    



        

    

    
    

        

            








        

    

    


    
	

        
	

    




                    

                

                

                    




    

        
        

            
            

              
            

        

        
        
        

            

            
            
                
                    
                        

                            

                                
                            

                            
                            

                                
                                    10 hilarious Sansa Stark Memes that will make you cry with laughter
                                
                            

                            
                        

                    
                
            
                
                    
                        

                            

                                
                                
                                
                            

                            
                            

                                
                                    Demon Slayer: 10 Smol Nezuko Memes That Will Have You Crying Of Laughter
                                
                            

                            
                        

                    
                
            
                
                    
                        

                            

                                
                                
                                
                            

                            
                            

                                
                                    The Boys: 10 Hilarious Memes That Will Have You Crying With Laughter