25+ Best Lawn Memes | the Answer Memes, Because I Can Memes, the Memes

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My neighbors front lawn dad joke #25: My neighbors front lawn dad joke #25

My neighbors front lawn dad joke #25: My neighbors front lawn dad joke #25

My neighbors front lawn dad joke #25: My neighbors front lawn dad joke #25

My neighbors front lawn dad joke #25

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My neighbors front lawn dad joke #25: My neighbors front lawn dad joke #25

My neighbors front lawn dad joke #25: My neighbors front lawn dad joke #25

My neighbors front lawn dad joke #25: My neighbors front lawn dad joke #25

My neighbors front lawn dad joke #25

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My neighbors front lawn dad joke #24: My neighbors front lawn dad joke #24

My neighbors front lawn dad joke #24: My neighbors front lawn dad joke #24

My neighbors front lawn dad joke #24: My neighbors front lawn dad joke #24

My neighbors front lawn dad joke #24

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animalrates: This is Duke. He recently started his own lawn care company. Relies on rufferals so please share. 12/10 accepts pats as payment via @rkenyon3 : animalrates: This is Duke. He recently started his own lawn care company. Relies on rufferals so please share. 12/10 accepts pats as payment via @rkenyon3

animalrates:
This is Duke. He recently started his own lawn care company. Relies on rufferals so please share. 12/10 accepts pats as payment
via @rkenyon3
: animalrates:
This is Duke. He recently started his own lawn care company. Relies on rufferals so please share. 12/10 accepts pats as payment
via @rkenyon3

animalrates:
This is Duke. He recently started his own lawn care company. Relies on rufferals so please share. 12/10 accepts pats as payment
via @rkenyon3
: animalrates:
This is Duke. He recently started his own lawn care company. Relies on rufferals so please share. 12/10 accepts pats as payment
via @rkenyon3

animalrates: This is Duke. He recently started his own lawn care company. Relies on rufferals so please share. 12/10 accepts pats as paym...

Save

My neighbors front lawn dad joke #24: My neighbors front lawn dad joke #24

My neighbors front lawn dad joke #24: My neighbors front lawn dad joke #24

My neighbors front lawn dad joke #24: My neighbors front lawn dad joke #24

My neighbors front lawn dad joke #24

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My neighbors front lawn dad joke #24: My neighbors front lawn dad joke #24

My neighbors front lawn dad joke #24: My neighbors front lawn dad joke #24

My neighbors front lawn dad joke #24: My neighbors front lawn dad joke #24

My neighbors front lawn dad joke #24

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Probably side eyeing people on their lawn by Ivoricbutterfly MORE MEMES: Probably side eyeing people on their lawn by Ivoricbutterfly MORE MEMES

Probably side eyeing people on their lawn by Ivoricbutterfly
MORE MEMES: Probably side eyeing people on their lawn by Ivoricbutterfly
MORE MEMES

Probably side eyeing people on their lawn by Ivoricbutterfly
MORE MEMES: Probably side eyeing people on their lawn by Ivoricbutterfly
MORE MEMES

Probably side eyeing people on their lawn by Ivoricbutterfly MORE MEMES

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My neighbors front lawn dad joke #22: My neighbors front lawn dad joke #22

My neighbors front lawn dad joke #22: My neighbors front lawn dad joke #22

My neighbors front lawn dad joke #22: My neighbors front lawn dad joke #22

My neighbors front lawn dad joke #22

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My neighbors front lawn dad joke #22: My neighbors front lawn dad joke #22

My neighbors front lawn dad joke #22: My neighbors front lawn dad joke #22

My neighbors front lawn dad joke #22: My neighbors front lawn dad joke #22

My neighbors front lawn dad joke #22

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My neighbors front lawn dad joke #15: My neighbors front lawn dad joke #15

My neighbors front lawn dad joke #15: My neighbors front lawn dad joke #15

My neighbors front lawn dad joke #15: My neighbors front lawn dad joke #15

My neighbors front lawn dad joke #15

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My neighbors front lawn dad joke #15: My neighbors front lawn dad joke #15

My neighbors front lawn dad joke #15: My neighbors front lawn dad joke #15

My neighbors front lawn dad joke #15: My neighbors front lawn dad joke #15

My neighbors front lawn dad joke #15

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Front lawn dad joke number 19: Front lawn dad joke number 19

Front lawn dad joke number 19: Front lawn dad joke number 19

Front lawn dad joke number 19: Front lawn dad joke number 19

Front lawn dad joke number 19

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My neighbors front lawn dad joke #17: My neighbors front lawn dad joke #17

My neighbors front lawn dad joke #17: My neighbors front lawn dad joke #17

My neighbors front lawn dad joke #17: My neighbors front lawn dad joke #17

My neighbors front lawn dad joke #17

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My neighbors front lawn dad joke #17: My neighbors front lawn dad joke #17

My neighbors front lawn dad joke #17: My neighbors front lawn dad joke #17

My neighbors front lawn dad joke #17: My neighbors front lawn dad joke #17

My neighbors front lawn dad joke #17

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My neighbors been posting daily dad jokes on his lawn since the lockdown started in LA. Here’s #20: My neighbors been posting daily dad jokes on his lawn since the lockdown started in LA. Here’s #20

My neighbors been posting daily dad jokes on his lawn since the lockdown started in LA. Here’s #20: My neighbors been posting daily dad jokes on his lawn since the lockdown started in LA. Here’s #20

My neighbors been posting daily dad jokes on his lawn since the lockdown started in LA. Here’s #20: My neighbors been posting daily dad jokes on his lawn since the lockdown started in LA. Here’s #20

My neighbors been posting daily dad jokes on his lawn since the lockdown started in LA. Here’s #20

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Front lawn dad joke #18: Front lawn dad joke #18

Front lawn dad joke #18: Front lawn dad joke #18

Front lawn dad joke #18: Front lawn dad joke #18

Front lawn dad joke #18

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Front lawn dad joke #18: Front lawn dad joke #18

Front lawn dad joke #18: Front lawn dad joke #18

Front lawn dad joke #18: Front lawn dad joke #18

Front lawn dad joke #18

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My neighbors been posting daily dad jokes on his lawn since the lockdown started in LA. Here’s #20: My neighbors been posting daily dad jokes on his lawn since the lockdown started in LA. Here’s #20

My neighbors been posting daily dad jokes on his lawn since the lockdown started in LA. Here’s #20: My neighbors been posting daily dad jokes on his lawn since the lockdown started in LA. Here’s #20

My neighbors been posting daily dad jokes on his lawn since the lockdown started in LA. Here’s #20: My neighbors been posting daily dad jokes on his lawn since the lockdown started in LA. Here’s #20

My neighbors been posting daily dad jokes on his lawn since the lockdown started in LA. Here’s #20

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gaymerlvl-pharmercy: birbiebabies: chamfrons-checques-n-champignons: betheothergirl: solitarelee: 221cbakerstreet: spookyrawr: rassoey: avianawareness: aph-romania: reallymisscoffee: dansknapp: stultiloquentia: doctormemelordmd: fangirling-so-hard-rn: Crows are scaryThey use tools Can be taught to speak (like parrots) Have huge brains for birds like seriously their brain-to-body size ratio is equal to that of a chimpanzee They vocalize anger, sadness, or happiness in response to things they are scary smart at solving puzzles some crows stay with their mates until one of them dies they can remember faces SIDENOTE HERE BECAUSE HOLY SHIT. They did an experiment where these guys wore masks and some of them fucked with crows. Pretty soon the crows recognized the masks = douchebag. But the nice guys with masks they left alone. THEN, OH WE’RE NOT DONE, NO SIR crows that WEREN’T EVEN IN THE EXPERIMENT AND NEVER SAW THE MASK BEFORE knew about mask-dudes and attacked them on sight. THEY PASSED ON THE FUCKING INFORMATION TO THEIR CROW BUDDIES. They remember places where crows were killed by farmers and change their migration patterns. Guys I’m really scared of crows now.(q) Yeah but have you seen this A colleague of my dad’s lives next to a lake, and looked out the window one morning to see a duck trapped in the ice. A crow swooped down. “Oh hell,” she thought, expecting carnage, because crows are opportunists. But the crow chipped at the ice with its beak until the duck was free. Idk of this counts but a few crows saved me from a magpie swooping attack once ,they’re bros who can tell when magpies are being unreasonable and need to chill I love crows so damn much. When I was fifteen, I hit a pretty serious bout of depression, to the point I was in my room for months. Well, a family of crows made a nest in a tree outside my window. There were two parents and two chicks. One chick was healthy and strong. One was weak, and had a caw like something being strained. It sounded more like a rooster crowing and so my parents jokingly named him ‘Buck’.Well… months passed and Buck’s sibling was taught to fly. His parents focused on the sibling because the sibling was strong. The father stayed behind to try and teach Buck, but I saw him try to fly, fail, and crash to the floor. His father helped him back up into the tree. Every day, I would watch Buck from my window until one day I opened it and started talking to him. He was small and gangly and he couldn’t caw right. His feathers were all over the place and I felt a kinship. So I made a deal with him. I told him that if he could do it, if he could fly, then I could find the strength to get up. Well… near the end of the season, after talking with him every day, I finally saw him get out of the nest. He went to the edge of his branch, braced himself, and jumped… and just before he hit the ground, he soared back up into the sky. I cheered harder than I ever had before. That winter, Buck left the area. I was crestfallen. I felt like I’d lost a friend. But I was so damn proud of him. Cut to the next spring? I’m walking up the driveway one day when suddenly I hear a sound… a broken caw. I look up, and Buck is sitting in a tree above my head. He stared at me and puffed his feathers, then hopped down in front of me and cawed again. I was so damn thrilled, and I told him how proud I was of him. He ruffled his feathers and then soared off into his old tree. That summer? I heard two broken caws. One from Buck… and one from his chick. Cut to ten years later? We have a family of crows who all have a very distinct caw and they come here and spend every spring, summer, and fall on our property. Buck still greets me every spring. that last reply made me wanna cry. that’s so beautiful. Don’t forget the Russian Crow SLEDDING DOWN A ROOF not once, but twice. this one morning i kept hearing really loud caws, i remember it was like 5am, LIKE REALLY LOUD AND ANNOYING AND AGGRESSIVE, so loud that i could hear it through a closed window, and i eventually went outside to check it out. there was a crow on my front lawn, it had an injury on its head and couldn’t fly and there were two other crows circling right above it, and they were cawing like mad. i tried to get close and take a better look and one of them dived super low and tried to attack me. so i went back in the house and chopped some sliced raw meat and tossed it at him from a distance. a few more times later, very soon after, they could tell i was trying to help, and did not attack me. i was “allowed” to walk up close and pick him up, he couldn’t drink water properly so i had to dip my finger in a bowl and stick it in his mouth. i did this few times a day and it went on for about a week before he disappeared, i thought he recovered and left, but he came back the next day and lands on me, and i see him around the block quite often, and he would come sit on my shoulder for a few minutes and then fly away again. i feel like i’ve adopted a son. Best birbs !! your son is Beautiful and Strong every time I see this post it has different crow stories and every time I reblog it again because all crow stories are good stories Like, I wouldn’t want to be on bad terms with a crow, but they are a really smart animal, they aren’t scary You just want to be nice to them because they will know and they will remember, and they will pay you back if you treat them a certain way. As a side note, I volunteered at a rehab (Hope for Wildlife), where they were rehabbing a crow with a broken wing–who was named Russell Crow. He kept pulling his bandage off so a sleeve was cut off some old clothing and put on him like a little sweater. !!!! I don’t think I’ll ever not reblog this. This posts makes me cry and smile at the same time. He’s so handsome!! I would trust a crow with my life: gaymerlvl-pharmercy: birbiebabies: chamfrons-checques-n-champignons: betheothergirl: solitarelee: 221cbakerstreet: spookyrawr: rassoey: avianawareness: aph-romania: reallymisscoffee: dansknapp: stultiloquentia: doctormemelordmd: fangirling-so-hard-rn: Crows are scaryThey use tools Can be taught to speak (like parrots) Have huge brains for birds like seriously their brain-to-body size ratio is equal to that of a chimpanzee They vocalize anger, sadness, or happiness in response to things they are scary smart at solving puzzles some crows stay with their mates until one of them dies they can remember faces SIDENOTE HERE BECAUSE HOLY SHIT. They did an experiment where these guys wore masks and some of them fucked with crows. Pretty soon the crows recognized the masks = douchebag. But the nice guys with masks they left alone. THEN, OH WE’RE NOT DONE, NO SIR crows that WEREN’T EVEN IN THE EXPERIMENT AND NEVER SAW THE MASK BEFORE knew about mask-dudes and attacked them on sight. THEY PASSED ON THE FUCKING INFORMATION TO THEIR CROW BUDDIES. They remember places where crows were killed by farmers and change their migration patterns. Guys I’m really scared of crows now.(q) Yeah but have you seen this A colleague of my dad’s lives next to a lake, and looked out the window one morning to see a duck trapped in the ice. A crow swooped down. “Oh hell,” she thought, expecting carnage, because crows are opportunists. But the crow chipped at the ice with its beak until the duck was free. Idk of this counts but a few crows saved me from a magpie swooping attack once ,they’re bros who can tell when magpies are being unreasonable and need to chill I love crows so damn much. When I was fifteen, I hit a pretty serious bout of depression, to the point I was in my room for months. Well, a family of crows made a nest in a tree outside my window. There were two parents and two chicks. One chick was healthy and strong. One was weak, and had a caw like something being strained. It sounded more like a rooster crowing and so my parents jokingly named him ‘Buck’.Well… months passed and Buck’s sibling was taught to fly. His parents focused on the sibling because the sibling was strong. The father stayed behind to try and teach Buck, but I saw him try to fly, fail, and crash to the floor. His father helped him back up into the tree. Every day, I would watch Buck from my window until one day I opened it and started talking to him. He was small and gangly and he couldn’t caw right. His feathers were all over the place and I felt a kinship. So I made a deal with him. I told him that if he could do it, if he could fly, then I could find the strength to get up. Well… near the end of the season, after talking with him every day, I finally saw him get out of the nest. He went to the edge of his branch, braced himself, and jumped… and just before he hit the ground, he soared back up into the sky. I cheered harder than I ever had before. That winter, Buck left the area. I was crestfallen. I felt like I’d lost a friend. But I was so damn proud of him. Cut to the next spring? I’m walking up the driveway one day when suddenly I hear a sound… a broken caw. I look up, and Buck is sitting in a tree above my head. He stared at me and puffed his feathers, then hopped down in front of me and cawed again. I was so damn thrilled, and I told him how proud I was of him. He ruffled his feathers and then soared off into his old tree. That summer? I heard two broken caws. One from Buck… and one from his chick. Cut to ten years later? We have a family of crows who all have a very distinct caw and they come here and spend every spring, summer, and fall on our property. Buck still greets me every spring. that last reply made me wanna cry. that’s so beautiful. Don’t forget the Russian Crow SLEDDING DOWN A ROOF not once, but twice. this one morning i kept hearing really loud caws, i remember it was like 5am, LIKE REALLY LOUD AND ANNOYING AND AGGRESSIVE, so loud that i could hear it through a closed window, and i eventually went outside to check it out. there was a crow on my front lawn, it had an injury on its head and couldn’t fly and there were two other crows circling right above it, and they were cawing like mad. i tried to get close and take a better look and one of them dived super low and tried to attack me. so i went back in the house and chopped some sliced raw meat and tossed it at him from a distance. a few more times later, very soon after, they could tell i was trying to help, and did not attack me. i was “allowed” to walk up close and pick him up, he couldn’t drink water properly so i had to dip my finger in a bowl and stick it in his mouth. i did this few times a day and it went on for about a week before he disappeared, i thought he recovered and left, but he came back the next day and lands on me, and i see him around the block quite often, and he would come sit on my shoulder for a few minutes and then fly away again. i feel like i’ve adopted a son. Best birbs !! your son is Beautiful and Strong every time I see this post it has different crow stories and every time I reblog it again because all crow stories are good stories Like, I wouldn’t want to be on bad terms with a crow, but they are a really smart animal, they aren’t scary You just want to be nice to them because they will know and they will remember, and they will pay you back if you treat them a certain way. As a side note, I volunteered at a rehab (Hope for Wildlife), where they were rehabbing a crow with a broken wing–who was named Russell Crow. He kept pulling his bandage off so a sleeve was cut off some old clothing and put on him like a little sweater. !!!! I don’t think I’ll ever not reblog this. This posts makes me cry and smile at the same time. He’s so handsome!! I would trust a crow with my life

gaymerlvl-pharmercy:

birbiebabies:

chamfrons-checques-n-champignons:

betheothergirl:

solitarelee:

221cbakerstreet:

spookyrawr:

rassoey:

avianawareness:

aph-romania:

reallymisscoffee:

dansknapp:

stultiloquentia:

doctormemelordmd:

fangirling-so-hard-rn:

Crows are scaryThey
use tools
Can be taught to speak (like parrots)
Have huge brains for birds
like seriously their brain-to-body size ratio is equal to that of a chimpanzee
They vocalize anger, sadness, or happiness in response to things
they are scary smart at solving puzzles
some crows stay with their mates until one of them dies
they can remember faces
SIDENOTE HERE BECAUSE HOLY SHIT. They did an experiment where these guys wore masks and some of them fucked with crows. Pretty soon the crows recognized the masks = douchebag. But the nice guys with masks they left alone. THEN, OH WE’RE NOT DONE, NO SIR crows that WEREN’T EVEN IN THE EXPERIMENT AND NEVER SAW THE MASK BEFORE knew about mask-dudes and attacked them on sight. THEY PASSED ON THE FUCKING INFORMATION TO THEIR CROW BUDDIES.
They remember places where crows were killed by farmers and change their migration patterns.
Guys I’m really scared of crows now.(q)

Yeah but have you seen this

A colleague of my dad’s lives next to a lake, and looked out the window one morning to see a duck trapped in the ice. A crow swooped down. “Oh hell,” she thought, expecting carnage, because crows are opportunists. But the crow chipped at the ice with its beak until the duck was free.

Idk of this counts but a few crows saved me from a magpie swooping attack once ,they’re bros who can tell when magpies are being unreasonable and need to chill

I love crows so damn much. When I was fifteen, I hit a pretty serious bout of depression, to the point I was in my room for months. Well, a family of crows made a nest in a tree outside my window. There were two parents and two chicks. One chick was healthy and strong. One was weak, and had a caw like something being strained. It sounded more like a rooster crowing and so my parents jokingly named him ‘Buck’.Well… months passed and Buck’s sibling was taught to fly. His parents focused on the sibling because the sibling was strong. The father stayed behind to try and teach Buck, but I saw him try to fly, fail, and crash to the floor. His father helped him back up into the tree.
Every day, I would watch Buck from my window until one day I opened it and started talking to him. He was small and gangly and he couldn’t caw right. His feathers were all over the place and I felt a kinship. So I made a deal with him. I told him that if he could do it, if he could fly, then I could find the strength to get up. Well… near the end of the season, after talking with him every day, I finally saw him get out of the nest. He went to the edge of his branch, braced himself, and jumped… and just before he hit the ground, he soared back up into the sky. I cheered harder than I ever had before.
That winter, Buck left the area. I was crestfallen. I felt like I’d lost a friend. But I was so damn proud of him.
Cut to the next spring? I’m walking up the driveway one day when suddenly I hear a sound… a broken caw. I look up, and Buck is sitting in a tree above my head. He stared at me and puffed his feathers, then hopped down in front of me and cawed again. I was so damn thrilled, and I told him how proud I was of him. He ruffled his feathers and then soared off into his old tree.
That summer? I heard two broken caws. One from Buck… and one from his chick.
Cut to ten years later? We have a family of crows who all have a very distinct caw and they come here and spend every spring, summer, and fall on our property. Buck still greets me every spring.

that last reply made me wanna cry. that’s so beautiful.

Don’t forget the Russian Crow SLEDDING DOWN A ROOF not once, but twice.

this one morning i kept hearing really loud caws, i remember it was like 5am, LIKE REALLY LOUD AND ANNOYING AND AGGRESSIVE, so loud that i could hear it through a closed window, and i eventually went outside to check it out. there was a crow on my front lawn, it had an injury on its head and couldn’t fly and there were two other crows circling right above it, and they were cawing like mad.
i tried to get close and take a better look and one of them dived super low and tried to attack me. so i went back in the house and chopped some sliced raw meat and tossed it at him from a distance.
a few more times later, very soon after, they could tell i was trying to help, and did not attack me. i was “allowed” to walk up close and pick him up, he couldn’t drink water properly so i had to dip my finger in a bowl and stick it in his mouth.
i did this few times a day and it went on for about a week before he disappeared, i thought he recovered and left, but he came back the next day and lands on me, and i see him around the block quite often, and he would come sit on my shoulder for a few minutes and then fly away again. i feel like i’ve adopted a son.

Best birbs !!

your son is Beautiful and Strong

every time I see this post it has different crow stories and every time I reblog it again because all crow stories are good stories

Like, I wouldn’t want to be on bad terms with a crow, but they are a really smart animal, they aren’t scary You just want to be nice to them because they will know and they will remember, and they will pay you back if you treat them a certain way.
As a side note, I volunteered at a rehab (Hope for Wildlife), where they were rehabbing a crow with a broken wing–who was named Russell Crow. He kept pulling his bandage off so a sleeve was cut off some old clothing and put on him like a little sweater.

!!!!

I don’t think I’ll ever not reblog this. This posts makes me cry and smile at the same time.

He’s so handsome!!

I would trust a crow with my life: gaymerlvl-pharmercy:

birbiebabies:

chamfrons-checques-n-champignons:

betheothergirl:

solitarelee:

221cbakerstreet:

spookyrawr:

rassoey:

avianawareness:

aph-romania:

reallymisscoffee:

dansknapp:

stultiloquentia:

doctormemelordmd:

fangirling-so-hard-rn:

Crows are scaryThey
use tools
Can be taught to speak (like parrots)
Have huge brains for birds
like seriously their brain-to-body size ratio is equal to that of a chimpanzee
They vocalize anger, sadness, or happiness in response to things
they are scary smart at solving puzzles
some crows stay with their mates until one of them dies
they can remember faces
SIDENOTE HERE BECAUSE HOLY SHIT. They did an experiment where these guys wore masks and some of them fucked with crows. Pretty soon the crows recognized the masks = douchebag. But the nice guys with masks they left alone. THEN, OH WE’RE NOT DONE, NO SIR crows that WEREN’T EVEN IN THE EXPERIMENT AND NEVER SAW THE MASK BEFORE knew about mask-dudes and attacked them on sight. THEY PASSED ON THE FUCKING INFORMATION TO THEIR CROW BUDDIES.
They remember places where crows were killed by farmers and change their migration patterns.
Guys I’m really scared of crows now.(q)

Yeah but have you seen this

A colleague of my dad’s lives next to a lake, and looked out the window one morning to see a duck trapped in the ice. A crow swooped down. “Oh hell,” she thought, expecting carnage, because crows are opportunists. But the crow chipped at the ice with its beak until the duck was free.

Idk of this counts but a few crows saved me from a magpie swooping attack once ,they’re bros who can tell when magpies are being unreasonable and need to chill

I love crows so damn much. When I was fifteen, I hit a pretty serious bout of depression, to the point I was in my room for months. Well, a family of crows made a nest in a tree outside my window. There were two parents and two chicks. One chick was healthy and strong. One was weak, and had a caw like something being strained. It sounded more like a rooster crowing and so my parents jokingly named him ‘Buck’.Well… months passed and Buck’s sibling was taught to fly. His parents focused on the sibling because the sibling was strong. The father stayed behind to try and teach Buck, but I saw him try to fly, fail, and crash to the floor. His father helped him back up into the tree.
Every day, I would watch Buck from my window until one day I opened it and started talking to him. He was small and gangly and he couldn’t caw right. His feathers were all over the place and I felt a kinship. So I made a deal with him. I told him that if he could do it, if he could fly, then I could find the strength to get up. Well… near the end of the season, after talking with him every day, I finally saw him get out of the nest. He went to the edge of his branch, braced himself, and jumped… and just before he hit the ground, he soared back up into the sky. I cheered harder than I ever had before.
That winter, Buck left the area. I was crestfallen. I felt like I’d lost a friend. But I was so damn proud of him.
Cut to the next spring? I’m walking up the driveway one day when suddenly I hear a sound… a broken caw. I look up, and Buck is sitting in a tree above my head. He stared at me and puffed his feathers, then hopped down in front of me and cawed again. I was so damn thrilled, and I told him how proud I was of him. He ruffled his feathers and then soared off into his old tree.
That summer? I heard two broken caws. One from Buck… and one from his chick.
Cut to ten years later? We have a family of crows who all have a very distinct caw and they come here and spend every spring, summer, and fall on our property. Buck still greets me every spring.

that last reply made me wanna cry. that’s so beautiful.

Don’t forget the Russian Crow SLEDDING DOWN A ROOF not once, but twice.

this one morning i kept hearing really loud caws, i remember it was like 5am, LIKE REALLY LOUD AND ANNOYING AND AGGRESSIVE, so loud that i could hear it through a closed window, and i eventually went outside to check it out. there was a crow on my front lawn, it had an injury on its head and couldn’t fly and there were two other crows circling right above it, and they were cawing like mad.
i tried to get close and take a better look and one of them dived super low and tried to attack me. so i went back in the house and chopped some sliced raw meat and tossed it at him from a distance.
a few more times later, very soon after, they could tell i was trying to help, and did not attack me. i was “allowed” to walk up close and pick him up, he couldn’t drink water properly so i had to dip my finger in a bowl and stick it in his mouth.
i did this few times a day and it went on for about a week before he disappeared, i thought he recovered and left, but he came back the next day and lands on me, and i see him around the block quite often, and he would come sit on my shoulder for a few minutes and then fly away again. i feel like i’ve adopted a son.

Best birbs !!

your son is Beautiful and Strong

every time I see this post it has different crow stories and every time I reblog it again because all crow stories are good stories

Like, I wouldn’t want to be on bad terms with a crow, but they are a really smart animal, they aren’t scary You just want to be nice to them because they will know and they will remember, and they will pay you back if you treat them a certain way.
As a side note, I volunteered at a rehab (Hope for Wildlife), where they were rehabbing a crow with a broken wing–who was named Russell Crow. He kept pulling his bandage off so a sleeve was cut off some old clothing and put on him like a little sweater.

!!!!

I don’t think I’ll ever not reblog this. This posts makes me cry and smile at the same time.

He’s so handsome!!

I would trust a crow with my life

gaymerlvl-pharmercy:

birbiebabies:

chamfrons-checques-n-champignons:

betheothergirl:

solitarelee:

221cbakerstreet:

spookyrawr:

rassoey:

avianawareness:

aph-romania:

reallymisscoffee:

dansknapp:

stultiloquentia:

doctormemelordmd:

fangirling-so-hard-rn:

Crows are scaryThey
use tools
Can be taught to speak (like parrots)
Have huge brains for birds
like seriously their brain-to-body size ratio is equal to that of a chimpanzee
They vocalize anger, sadness, or happiness in response to things
they are scary smart at solving puzzles
some crows stay with their mates until one of them dies
they can remember faces
SIDENOTE HERE BECAUSE HOLY SHIT. They did an experiment where these guys wore masks and some of them fucked with crows. Pretty soon the crows recognized the masks = douchebag. But the nice guys with masks they left alone. THEN, OH WE’RE NOT DONE, NO SIR crows that WEREN’T EVEN IN THE EXPERIMENT AND NEVER SAW THE MASK BEFORE knew about mask-dudes and attacked them on sight. THEY PASSED ON THE FUCKING INFORMATION TO THEIR CROW BUDDIES.
They remember places where crows were killed by farmers and change their migration patterns.
Guys I’m really scared of crows now.(q)

Yeah but have you seen this

A colleague of my dad’s lives next to a lake, and looked out the window one morning to see a duck trapped in the ice. A crow swooped down. “Oh hell,” she thought, expecting carnage, because crows are opportunists. But the crow chipped at the ice with its beak until the duck was free.

Idk of this counts but a few crows saved me from a magpie swooping attack once ,they’re bros who can tell when magpies are being unreasonable and need to chill

I love crows so damn much. When I was fifteen, I hit a pretty serious bout of depression, to the point I was in my room for months. Well, a family of crows made a nest in a tree outside my window. There were two parents and two chicks. One chick was healthy and strong. One was weak, and had a caw like something being strained. It sounded more like a rooster crowing and so my parents jokingly named him ‘Buck’.Well… months passed and Buck’s sibling was taught to fly. His parents focused on the sibling because the sibling was strong. The father stayed behind to try and teach Buck, but I saw him try to fly, fail, and crash to the floor. His father helped him back up into the tree.
Every day, I would watch Buck from my window until one day I opened it and started talking to him. He was small and gangly and he couldn’t caw right. His feathers were all over the place and I felt a kinship. So I made a deal with him. I told him that if he could do it, if he could fly, then I could find the strength to get up. Well… near the end of the season, after talking with him every day, I finally saw him get out of the nest. He went to the edge of his branch, braced himself, and jumped… and just before he hit the ground, he soared back up into the sky. I cheered harder than I ever had before.
That winter, Buck left the area. I was crestfallen. I felt like I’d lost a friend. But I was so damn proud of him.
Cut to the next spring? I’m walking up the driveway one day when suddenly I hear a sound… a broken caw. I look up, and Buck is sitting in a tree above my head. He stared at me and puffed his feathers, then hopped down in front of me and cawed again. I was so damn thrilled, and I told him how proud I was of him. He ruffled his feathers and then soared off into his old tree.
That summer? I heard two broken caws. One from Buck… and one from his chick.
Cut to ten years later? We have a family of crows who all have a very distinct caw and they come here and spend every spring, summer, and fall on our property. Buck still greets me every spring.

that last reply made me wanna cry. that’s so beautiful.

Don’t forget the Russian Crow SLEDDING DOWN A ROOF not once, but twice.

this one morning i kept hearing really loud caws, i remember it was like 5am, LIKE REALLY LOUD AND ANNOYING AND AGGRESSIVE, so loud that i could hear it through a closed window, and i eventually went outside to check it out. there was a crow on my front lawn, it had an injury on its head and couldn’t fly and there were two other crows circling right above it, and they were cawing like mad.
i tried to get close and take a better look and one of them dived super low and tried to attack me. so i went back in the house and chopped some sliced raw meat and tossed it at him from a distance.
a few more times later, very soon after, they could tell i was trying to help, and did not attack me. i was “allowed” to walk up close and pick him up, he couldn’t drink water properly so i had to dip my finger in a bowl and stick it in his mouth.
i did this few times a day and it went on for about a week before he disappeared, i thought he recovered and left, but he came back the next day and lands on me, and i see him around the block quite often, and he would come sit on my shoulder for a few minutes and then fly away again. i feel like i’ve adopted a son.

Best birbs !!

your son is Beautiful and Strong

every time I see this post it has different crow stories and every time I reblog it again because all crow stories are good stories

Like, I wouldn’t want to be on bad terms with a crow, but they are a really smart animal, they aren’t scary You just want to be nice to them because they will know and they will remember, and they will pay you back if you treat them a certain way.
As a side note, I volunteered at a rehab (Hope for Wildlife), where they were rehabbing a crow with a broken wing–who was named Russell Crow. He kept pulling his bandage off so a sleeve was cut off some old clothing and put on him like a little sweater.

!!!!

I don’t think I’ll ever not reblog this. This posts makes me cry and smile at the same time.

He’s so handsome!!

I would trust a crow with my life: gaymerlvl-pharmercy:

birbiebabies:

chamfrons-checques-n-champignons:

betheothergirl:

solitarelee:

221cbakerstreet:

spookyrawr:

rassoey:

avianawareness:

aph-romania:

reallymisscoffee:

dansknapp:

stultiloquentia:

doctormemelordmd:

fangirling-so-hard-rn:

Crows are scaryThey
use tools
Can be taught to speak (like parrots)
Have huge brains for birds
like seriously their brain-to-body size ratio is equal to that of a chimpanzee
They vocalize anger, sadness, or happiness in response to things
they are scary smart at solving puzzles
some crows stay with their mates until one of them dies
they can remember faces
SIDENOTE HERE BECAUSE HOLY SHIT. They did an experiment where these guys wore masks and some of them fucked with crows. Pretty soon the crows recognized the masks = douchebag. But the nice guys with masks they left alone. THEN, OH WE’RE NOT DONE, NO SIR crows that WEREN’T EVEN IN THE EXPERIMENT AND NEVER SAW THE MASK BEFORE knew about mask-dudes and attacked them on sight. THEY PASSED ON THE FUCKING INFORMATION TO THEIR CROW BUDDIES.
They remember places where crows were killed by farmers and change their migration patterns.
Guys I’m really scared of crows now.(q)

Yeah but have you seen this

A colleague of my dad’s lives next to a lake, and looked out the window one morning to see a duck trapped in the ice. A crow swooped down. “Oh hell,” she thought, expecting carnage, because crows are opportunists. But the crow chipped at the ice with its beak until the duck was free.

Idk of this counts but a few crows saved me from a magpie swooping attack once ,they’re bros who can tell when magpies are being unreasonable and need to chill

I love crows so damn much. When I was fifteen, I hit a pretty serious bout of depression, to the point I was in my room for months. Well, a family of crows made a nest in a tree outside my window. There were two parents and two chicks. One chick was healthy and strong. One was weak, and had a caw like something being strained. It sounded more like a rooster crowing and so my parents jokingly named him ‘Buck’.Well… months passed and Buck’s sibling was taught to fly. His parents focused on the sibling because the sibling was strong. The father stayed behind to try and teach Buck, but I saw him try to fly, fail, and crash to the floor. His father helped him back up into the tree.
Every day, I would watch Buck from my window until one day I opened it and started talking to him. He was small and gangly and he couldn’t caw right. His feathers were all over the place and I felt a kinship. So I made a deal with him. I told him that if he could do it, if he could fly, then I could find the strength to get up. Well… near the end of the season, after talking with him every day, I finally saw him get out of the nest. He went to the edge of his branch, braced himself, and jumped… and just before he hit the ground, he soared back up into the sky. I cheered harder than I ever had before.
That winter, Buck left the area. I was crestfallen. I felt like I’d lost a friend. But I was so damn proud of him.
Cut to the next spring? I’m walking up the driveway one day when suddenly I hear a sound… a broken caw. I look up, and Buck is sitting in a tree above my head. He stared at me and puffed his feathers, then hopped down in front of me and cawed again. I was so damn thrilled, and I told him how proud I was of him. He ruffled his feathers and then soared off into his old tree.
That summer? I heard two broken caws. One from Buck… and one from his chick.
Cut to ten years later? We have a family of crows who all have a very distinct caw and they come here and spend every spring, summer, and fall on our property. Buck still greets me every spring.

that last reply made me wanna cry. that’s so beautiful.

Don’t forget the Russian Crow SLEDDING DOWN A ROOF not once, but twice.

this one morning i kept hearing really loud caws, i remember it was like 5am, LIKE REALLY LOUD AND ANNOYING AND AGGRESSIVE, so loud that i could hear it through a closed window, and i eventually went outside to check it out. there was a crow on my front lawn, it had an injury on its head and couldn’t fly and there were two other crows circling right above it, and they were cawing like mad.
i tried to get close and take a better look and one of them dived super low and tried to attack me. so i went back in the house and chopped some sliced raw meat and tossed it at him from a distance.
a few more times later, very soon after, they could tell i was trying to help, and did not attack me. i was “allowed” to walk up close and pick him up, he couldn’t drink water properly so i had to dip my finger in a bowl and stick it in his mouth.
i did this few times a day and it went on for about a week before he disappeared, i thought he recovered and left, but he came back the next day and lands on me, and i see him around the block quite often, and he would come sit on my shoulder for a few minutes and then fly away again. i feel like i’ve adopted a son.

Best birbs !!

your son is Beautiful and Strong

every time I see this post it has different crow stories and every time I reblog it again because all crow stories are good stories

Like, I wouldn’t want to be on bad terms with a crow, but they are a really smart animal, they aren’t scary You just want to be nice to them because they will know and they will remember, and they will pay you back if you treat them a certain way.
As a side note, I volunteered at a rehab (Hope for Wildlife), where they were rehabbing a crow with a broken wing–who was named Russell Crow. He kept pulling his bandage off so a sleeve was cut off some old clothing and put on him like a little sweater.

!!!!

I don’t think I’ll ever not reblog this. This posts makes me cry and smile at the same time.

He’s so handsome!!

I would trust a crow with my life

Save

I found the perfect lawn ornament.: I found the perfect lawn ornament.

I found the perfect lawn ornament.: I found the perfect lawn ornament.

I found the perfect lawn ornament.: I found the perfect lawn ornament.

I found the perfect lawn ornament.

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I found the perfect lawn ornament.: I found the perfect lawn ornament.

I found the perfect lawn ornament.: I found the perfect lawn ornament.

I found the perfect lawn ornament.: I found the perfect lawn ornament.

I found the perfect lawn ornament.

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eggy-boyo: jenroses: bearlycare: fisaspoopyforestgreen: nextyearsgirl: gemmy2: shireprincess: What the fuck they’re two years old STRAIGHT PEOPLE ARE SO FUCKING WEIRD This is exactly what I was talking about the other day. It’s not even just the bizarre urge to sexualize children, it’s that they’re sexualized with the explicit purpose of then policing their hypothetical sexuality. Little girls have sexuality forced on them for the sole purpose of teaching them that sexuality is meant to be shameful. ^this is a great point I repeat: HETEROPATRIARCHY IS SO FUCKIN WEIRD Overheard at a slumber party once, approximately:“Why can’t the boys sleep in here?” (boys were in a tent on the lawn) “Because, IDK, someone might have sex.”“Well, I guess since I’m lesbian I should sleep out there with them.”“I’m bi. I can’t sleep anywhere.” Bi and Pan people sleep in purgatory we all know this : eggy-boyo: jenroses: bearlycare: fisaspoopyforestgreen: nextyearsgirl: gemmy2: shireprincess: What the fuck they’re two years old STRAIGHT PEOPLE ARE SO FUCKING WEIRD This is exactly what I was talking about the other day. It’s not even just the bizarre urge to sexualize children, it’s that they’re sexualized with the explicit purpose of then policing their hypothetical sexuality. Little girls have sexuality forced on them for the sole purpose of teaching them that sexuality is meant to be shameful. ^this is a great point I repeat: HETEROPATRIARCHY IS SO FUCKIN WEIRD Overheard at a slumber party once, approximately:“Why can’t the boys sleep in here?” (boys were in a tent on the lawn) “Because, IDK, someone might have sex.”“Well, I guess since I’m lesbian I should sleep out there with them.”“I’m bi. I can’t sleep anywhere.” Bi and Pan people sleep in purgatory we all know this

eggy-boyo:
jenroses:

bearlycare:

fisaspoopyforestgreen:

nextyearsgirl:

gemmy2:

shireprincess:

What the fuck they’re two years old

STRAIGHT PEOPLE ARE SO FUCKING WEIRD

This is exactly what I was talking about the other day. It’s not even just the bizarre urge to sexualize children, it’s that they’re sexualized with the explicit purpose of then policing their hypothetical sexuality. Little girls have sexuality forced on them for the sole purpose of teaching them that sexuality is meant to be shameful.

^this is a great point

I repeat: HETEROPATRIARCHY IS SO FUCKIN WEIRD

Overheard at a slumber party once, approximately:“Why can’t the boys sleep in here?” (boys were in a tent on the lawn) “Because, IDK, someone might have sex.”“Well, I guess since I’m lesbian I should sleep out there with them.”“I’m bi. I can’t sleep anywhere.”

Bi and Pan people sleep in purgatory we all know this
: eggy-boyo:
jenroses:

bearlycare:

fisaspoopyforestgreen:

nextyearsgirl:

gemmy2:

shireprincess:

What the fuck they’re two years old

STRAIGHT PEOPLE ARE SO FUCKING WEIRD

This is exactly what I was talking about the other day. It’s not even just the bizarre urge to sexualize children, it’s that they’re sexualized with the explicit purpose of then policing their hypothetical sexuality. Little girls have sexuality forced on them for the sole purpose of teaching them that sexuality is meant to be shameful.

^this is a great point

I repeat: HETEROPATRIARCHY IS SO FUCKIN WEIRD

Overheard at a slumber party once, approximately:“Why can’t the boys sleep in here?” (boys were in a tent on the lawn) “Because, IDK, someone might have sex.”“Well, I guess since I’m lesbian I should sleep out there with them.”“I’m bi. I can’t sleep anywhere.”

Bi and Pan people sleep in purgatory we all know this

eggy-boyo:
jenroses:

bearlycare:

fisaspoopyforestgreen:

nextyearsgirl:

gemmy2:

shireprincess:

What the fuck they’re two years old

STRAIGHT PEOPLE ARE SO FUCKING WEIRD

This is exactly what I was talking about the other day. It’s not even just the bizarre urge to sexualize children, it’s that they’re sexualized with the explicit purpose of then policing their hypothetical sexuality. Little girls have sexuality forced on them for the sole purpose of teaching them that sexuality is meant to be shameful.

^this is a great point

I repeat: HETEROPATRIARCHY IS SO FUCKIN WEIRD

Overheard at a slumber party once, approximately:“Why can’t the boys sleep in here?” (boys were in a tent on the lawn) “Because, IDK, someone might have sex.”“Well, I guess since I’m lesbian I should sleep out there with them.”“I’m bi. I can’t sleep anywhere.”

Bi and Pan people sleep in purgatory we all know this
: eggy-boyo:
jenroses:

bearlycare:

fisaspoopyforestgreen:

nextyearsgirl:

gemmy2:

shireprincess:

What the fuck they’re two years old

STRAIGHT PEOPLE ARE SO FUCKING WEIRD

This is exactly what I was talking about the other day. It’s not even just the bizarre urge to sexualize children, it’s that they’re sexualized with the explicit purpose of then policing their hypothetical sexuality. Little girls have sexuality forced on them for the sole purpose of teaching them that sexuality is meant to be shameful.

^this is a great point

I repeat: HETEROPATRIARCHY IS SO FUCKIN WEIRD

Overheard at a slumber party once, approximately:“Why can’t the boys sleep in here?” (boys were in a tent on the lawn) “Because, IDK, someone might have sex.”“Well, I guess since I’m lesbian I should sleep out there with them.”“I’m bi. I can’t sleep anywhere.”

Bi and Pan people sleep in purgatory we all know this

Save

awesomacious: Blind man explains some of the best parts of his blindness: People always say, "God, you know, it must suck to be blind", "My God, how do you do it?", "Oh, you poor guy.". It's true! But you know what? There are plenty of good things about being blind. I get VIP treatment at amusement parks Never have to wvorry about I go on airplanes first drinking and driving I don't have to do my My electric bill's lower than yours Tride the train for half fare. Own lawn Sometimes even free! Every single woman I've I don't have to watch somebody age ever been with is a 10 You know what's cool about being blind? There's no race. I don't know from beauty. I know people from what it comes out of their mouth, and what's in their heart. That's howI know people. It's very cool that way. reddit awesomacious: Blind man explains some of the best parts of his blindness

awesomacious:

Blind man explains some of the best parts of his blindness: People always say, "God, you know, it must suck to be blind", "My God, how do you do it?",
"Oh, you poor guy.". It's true! But you know what? There are plenty of good things
about being blind.
I get VIP treatment at
amusement parks
Never have to wvorry about
I go on airplanes first
drinking and driving
I don't have to do my
My electric bill's
lower than yours
Tride the train for half fare.
Own lawn
Sometimes even free!
Every single woman I've
I don't have to watch
somebody age
ever been with is a 10
You know what's cool about being blind? There's no race. I don't know from beauty.
I know people from what it comes out of their mouth, and what's in their heart.
That's howI know people. It's very cool that way.
reddit
awesomacious:

Blind man explains some of the best parts of his blindness

awesomacious:

Blind man explains some of the best parts of his blindness: People always say, "God, you know, it must suck to be blind", "My God, how do you do it?",
"Oh, you poor guy.". It's true! But you know what? There are plenty of good things
about being blind.
I get VIP treatment at
amusement parks
Never have to wvorry about
I go on airplanes first
drinking and driving
I don't have to do my
My electric bill's
lower than yours
Tride the train for half fare.
Own lawn
Sometimes even free!
Every single woman I've
I don't have to watch
somebody age
ever been with is a 10
You know what's cool about being blind? There's no race. I don't know from beauty.
I know people from what it comes out of their mouth, and what's in their heart.
That's howI know people. It's very cool that way.
reddit
awesomacious:

Blind man explains some of the best parts of his blindness

awesomacious: Blind man explains some of the best parts of his blindness

Save

Blind man explains some of the best parts of his blindness: People always say, "God, you know, it must suck to be blind", "My God, how do you do it?", "Oh, you poor guy.". It's true! But you know what? There are plenty of good things about being blind. I get VIP treatment at amusement parks Never have to wvorry about I go on airplanes first drinking and driving I don't have to do my My electric bill's lower than yours Tride the train for half fare. Own lawn Sometimes even free! Every single woman I've I don't have to watch somebody age ever been with is a 10 You know what's cool about being blind? There's no race. I don't know from beauty. I know people from what it comes out of their mouth, and what's in their heart. That's howI know people. It's very cool that way. reddit Blind man explains some of the best parts of his blindness

Blind man explains some of the best parts of his blindness: People always say, "God, you know, it must suck to be blind", "My God, how do you do it?",
"Oh, you poor guy.". It's true! But you know what? There are plenty of good things
about being blind.
I get VIP treatment at
amusement parks
Never have to wvorry about
I go on airplanes first
drinking and driving
I don't have to do my
My electric bill's
lower than yours
Tride the train for half fare.
Own lawn
Sometimes even free!
Every single woman I've
I don't have to watch
somebody age
ever been with is a 10
You know what's cool about being blind? There's no race. I don't know from beauty.
I know people from what it comes out of their mouth, and what's in their heart.
That's howI know people. It's very cool that way.
reddit
Blind man explains some of the best parts of his blindness

Blind man explains some of the best parts of his blindness: People always say, "God, you know, it must suck to be blind", "My God, how do you do it?",
"Oh, you poor guy.". It's true! But you know what? There are plenty of good things
about being blind.
I get VIP treatment at
amusement parks
Never have to wvorry about
I go on airplanes first
drinking and driving
I don't have to do my
My electric bill's
lower than yours
Tride the train for half fare.
Own lawn
Sometimes even free!
Every single woman I've
I don't have to watch
somebody age
ever been with is a 10
You know what's cool about being blind? There's no race. I don't know from beauty.
I know people from what it comes out of their mouth, and what's in their heart.
That's howI know people. It's very cool that way.
reddit
Blind man explains some of the best parts of his blindness

Blind man explains some of the best parts of his blindness

Save

.: @KeatonPatti I forced a bot to watch over 1,000 hours of lawyer commercials and then asked it to write a lawyer commercial of its own. Here is the first page. LAWYER COMMERCIAL INT. FIRM LAW ROOM A LAWYER stands next to a shelf with books. The books are very wide. They have eaten too many words. LAWYER Have you been hurt in an accidental car? Has the government sold your lungs without asking nicely? Are you Mesothelioma? Answer me! The lawyer opens a briefcase. It's full of lemons, the justice fruit only lawyers may touch. LAWYER (CONT’D) If so, you can act entitled for money. I'll help. I graduated from lawn school and all my teachers were bitten by dogs. Words scroll across bottom of the screen. These are cases the lawyer takes: UNFAIR STABBING, ILLEGAL SHOES, MUSIC TOO CANADIAN, SUE THE RAIN, DIVORCE YOUR TOILET, FAKE SONS. .

.: @KeatonPatti
I forced a bot to watch over 1,000 hours
of lawyer commercials and then asked it
to write a lawyer commercial of its own.
Here is the first page.
LAWYER COMMERCIAL
INT. FIRM LAW ROOM
A LAWYER stands next to a shelf with books. The books are
very wide. They have eaten too many words.
LAWYER
Have you been hurt in an accidental
car? Has the government sold your
lungs without asking nicely? Are
you Mesothelioma? Answer me!
The lawyer opens a briefcase. It's full of lemons, the
justice fruit only lawyers may touch.
LAWYER (CONT’D)
If so, you can act entitled for
money. I'll help. I graduated from
lawn school and all my teachers
were bitten by dogs.
Words scroll across bottom of the screen. These are cases the
lawyer takes: UNFAIR STABBING, ILLEGAL SHOES, MUSIC TOO
CANADIAN, SUE THE RAIN, DIVORCE YOUR TOILET, FAKE SONS.
.

.: @KeatonPatti
I forced a bot to watch over 1,000 hours
of lawyer commercials and then asked it
to write a lawyer commercial of its own.
Here is the first page.
LAWYER COMMERCIAL
INT. FIRM LAW ROOM
A LAWYER stands next to a shelf with books. The books are
very wide. They have eaten too many words.
LAWYER
Have you been hurt in an accidental
car? Has the government sold your
lungs without asking nicely? Are
you Mesothelioma? Answer me!
The lawyer opens a briefcase. It's full of lemons, the
justice fruit only lawyers may touch.
LAWYER (CONT’D)
If so, you can act entitled for
money. I'll help. I graduated from
lawn school and all my teachers
were bitten by dogs.
Words scroll across bottom of the screen. These are cases the
lawyer takes: UNFAIR STABBING, ILLEGAL SHOES, MUSIC TOO
CANADIAN, SUE THE RAIN, DIVORCE YOUR TOILET, FAKE SONS.
.

.

Save

.: @KeatonPatti I forced a bot to watch over 1,000 hours of lawyer commercials and then asked it to write a lawyer commercial of its own. Here is the first page. LAWYER COMMERCIAL INT. FIRM LAW ROOM A LAWYER stands next to a shelf with books. The books are very wide. They have eaten too many words. LAWYER Have you been hurt in an accidental car? Has the government sold your lungs without asking nicely? Are you Mesothelioma? Answer me! The lawyer opens a briefcase. It's full of lemons, the justice fruit only lawyers may touch. LAWYER (CONT’D) If so, you can act entitled for money. I'll help. I graduated from lawn school and all my teachers were bitten by dogs. Words scroll across bottom of the screen. These are cases the lawyer takes: UNFAIR STABBING, ILLEGAL SHOES, MUSIC TOO CANADIAN, SUE THE RAIN, DIVORCE YOUR TOILET, FAKE SONS. .

.: @KeatonPatti
I forced a bot to watch over 1,000 hours
of lawyer commercials and then asked it
to write a lawyer commercial of its own.
Here is the first page.
LAWYER COMMERCIAL
INT. FIRM LAW ROOM
A LAWYER stands next to a shelf with books. The books are
very wide. They have eaten too many words.
LAWYER
Have you been hurt in an accidental
car? Has the government sold your
lungs without asking nicely? Are
you Mesothelioma? Answer me!
The lawyer opens a briefcase. It's full of lemons, the
justice fruit only lawyers may touch.
LAWYER (CONT’D)
If so, you can act entitled for
money. I'll help. I graduated from
lawn school and all my teachers
were bitten by dogs.
Words scroll across bottom of the screen. These are cases the
lawyer takes: UNFAIR STABBING, ILLEGAL SHOES, MUSIC TOO
CANADIAN, SUE THE RAIN, DIVORCE YOUR TOILET, FAKE SONS.
.

.: @KeatonPatti
I forced a bot to watch over 1,000 hours
of lawyer commercials and then asked it
to write a lawyer commercial of its own.
Here is the first page.
LAWYER COMMERCIAL
INT. FIRM LAW ROOM
A LAWYER stands next to a shelf with books. The books are
very wide. They have eaten too many words.
LAWYER
Have you been hurt in an accidental
car? Has the government sold your
lungs without asking nicely? Are
you Mesothelioma? Answer me!
The lawyer opens a briefcase. It's full of lemons, the
justice fruit only lawyers may touch.
LAWYER (CONT’D)
If so, you can act entitled for
money. I'll help. I graduated from
lawn school and all my teachers
were bitten by dogs.
Words scroll across bottom of the screen. These are cases the
lawyer takes: UNFAIR STABBING, ILLEGAL SHOES, MUSIC TOO
CANADIAN, SUE THE RAIN, DIVORCE YOUR TOILET, FAKE SONS.
.

.

Save

: Dad 2m a I just realized we never returned the bowling shoes Slide to reply Dad Bmag remember your 12th birthday at the bowling alley slimetony Dad now mowed the lawn in them not comfy Slide to reply Source: slimetony 135,296 notes

: Dad 2m a
I just realized we never returned the bowling shoes
Slide to reply
Dad Bmag
remember your 12th birthday at the bowling alley
slimetony
Dad now
mowed the lawn in them not comfy
Slide to reply
Source: slimetony
135,296 notes

: Dad 2m a
I just realized we never returned the bowling shoes
Slide to reply
Dad Bmag
remember your 12th birthday at the bowling alley
slimetony
Dad now
mowed the lawn in them not comfy
Slide to reply
Source: slimetony
135,296 notes

Save

Wife asks why dog walkers are chatty when I am out on the lawn and never with her by iwearhackettlondon MORE MEMES: amaware of the effect I havo on women Wife asks why dog walkers are chatty when I am out on the lawn and never with her by iwearhackettlondon MORE MEMES

Wife asks why dog walkers are chatty when I am out on the lawn and never with her by iwearhackettlondon
MORE MEMES: amaware of the effect I havo on women
Wife asks why dog walkers are chatty when I am out on the lawn and never with her by iwearhackettlondon
MORE MEMES

Wife asks why dog walkers are chatty when I am out on the lawn and never with her by iwearhackettlondon
MORE MEMES: amaware of the effect I havo on women
Wife asks why dog walkers are chatty when I am out on the lawn and never with her by iwearhackettlondon
MORE MEMES

Wife asks why dog walkers are chatty when I am out on the lawn and never with her by iwearhackettlondon MORE MEMES

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ohgod-awesome-posts:your golden retriever has evolved into an emerald retriever: My golden retriever decided to roll on the freshly mowed lawn ohgod-awesome-posts:your golden retriever has evolved into an emerald retriever

ohgod-awesome-posts:your golden retriever has evolved into an emerald retriever: My golden retriever decided to roll on the freshly mowed lawn
ohgod-awesome-posts:your golden retriever has evolved into an emerald retriever

ohgod-awesome-posts:your golden retriever has evolved into an emerald retriever: My golden retriever decided to roll on the freshly mowed lawn
ohgod-awesome-posts:your golden retriever has evolved into an emerald retriever

ohgod-awesome-posts:your golden retriever has evolved into an emerald retriever

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A Fair Trade: 11:31 36% Mary to cook? Today 9:48 PM Honestly, Chili. I make the best Chili Today 11:17 PM Idk my dad's chili is pretty good Yeah but does he put a hunk of dark chocolate in it?? Diddddddddd nt think so hahah no he doesn't chili cook off me vs your dad I win, I get your hand in marriage. Your dad wins, I mow his lawn for the next 27 years. Sent Type a message... GIF II A Fair Trade

A Fair Trade: 11:31
36%
Mary
to cook?
Today 9:48 PM
Honestly, Chili. I make the best
Chili
Today 11:17 PM
Idk my dad's chili is pretty
good
Yeah but does he put a hunk of
dark chocolate in it??
Diddddddddd nt think so
hahah no he doesn't
chili cook off me vs your dad
I win, I get your hand in
marriage.
Your dad wins, I mow his lawn
for the next 27 years.
Sent
Type a message...
GIF
II
A Fair Trade

A Fair Trade: 11:31
36%
Mary
to cook?
Today 9:48 PM
Honestly, Chili. I make the best
Chili
Today 11:17 PM
Idk my dad's chili is pretty
good
Yeah but does he put a hunk of
dark chocolate in it??
Diddddddddd nt think so
hahah no he doesn't
chili cook off me vs your dad
I win, I get your hand in
marriage.
Your dad wins, I mow his lawn
for the next 27 years.
Sent
Type a message...
GIF
II
A Fair Trade

A Fair Trade

Save

Nation wants to know.: Melania Trump @FLOTUS Lower your voice Dale @DaleBFresh A sinkhole appeared on the White House lawn and people are saying it's Melania's escape route Nation wants to know.

Nation wants to know.: Melania Trump
@FLOTUS
Lower your voice
Dale @DaleBFresh
A sinkhole appeared on the White House lawn
and people are saying it's Melania's escape
route
Nation wants to know.

Nation wants to know.: Melania Trump
@FLOTUS
Lower your voice
Dale @DaleBFresh
A sinkhole appeared on the White House lawn
and people are saying it's Melania's escape
route
Nation wants to know.

Nation wants to know.

Save

My cousin asked me to post a roommate wanted ad for him. Probably not what he had in mind, but facts are facts.: |WANNA BE ROOMMATES WITH THIS FCKN' GUY? NO. OF COURSE YOU DONT. BUT. ADULTHOOD IS HARD, MAN. RENT IS EXPENSIVE. YOU NEED A ROOMMATE, AND CRAISGLIST HAS THEM. THIS DUDE GETS IT. INFACT, HE FINDS ALL OF HIS ROOMMATES ON CRAIGSLIST. HE BOUGHT THAT KNIFE ON CRAIGSLIST, AND ALSO THAT JACKET. HE GOT THE MASK FROM HIS EX-GIRLFRIEND, BUT, GUESS WHAT HE FOUND HER ON CRAIGSLIST TOO. DO YOU REALLY WANNA RISK IT? NO YES RIP t MEET ADAM. HE NEEDS A ROOMMATE TOO. HE'S NORMAL. HE'S ALREADY GOT A SWEET 2 BED/1 BATH CONDO IN OAK LAWN. AND. MOST IMPORTATLY. HE ISNT THIS FCKN GUY MESSAGE ADAM. NOTASERIALKILLER2019@GMAIL.COM My cousin asked me to post a roommate wanted ad for him. Probably not what he had in mind, but facts are facts.

My cousin asked me to post a roommate wanted ad for him. Probably not what he had in mind, but facts are facts.: |WANNA BE
ROOMMATES
WITH THIS
FCKN' GUY?
NO. OF COURSE YOU DONT. BUT. ADULTHOOD IS HARD, MAN.
RENT IS EXPENSIVE. YOU NEED A ROOMMATE, AND CRAISGLIST HAS
THEM. THIS DUDE GETS IT. INFACT, HE FINDS ALL OF HIS ROOMMATES ON
CRAIGSLIST. HE BOUGHT THAT KNIFE ON CRAIGSLIST, AND ALSO THAT
JACKET. HE GOT THE MASK FROM HIS EX-GIRLFRIEND, BUT, GUESS WHAT
HE FOUND HER ON CRAIGSLIST TOO.
DO YOU
REALLY
WANNA
RISK IT?
NO
YES
RIP
t
MEET ADAM. HE NEEDS A ROOMMATE TOO.
HE'S NORMAL. HE'S ALREADY GOT A SWEET
2 BED/1 BATH CONDO IN OAK LAWN. AND.
MOST IMPORTATLY. HE ISNT THIS FCKN GUY
MESSAGE ADAM.
NOTASERIALKILLER2019@GMAIL.COM
My cousin asked me to post a roommate wanted ad for him. Probably not what he had in mind, but facts are facts.

My cousin asked me to post a roommate wanted ad for him. Probably not what he had in mind, but facts are facts.: |WANNA BE
ROOMMATES
WITH THIS
FCKN' GUY?
NO. OF COURSE YOU DONT. BUT. ADULTHOOD IS HARD, MAN.
RENT IS EXPENSIVE. YOU NEED A ROOMMATE, AND CRAISGLIST HAS
THEM. THIS DUDE GETS IT. INFACT, HE FINDS ALL OF HIS ROOMMATES ON
CRAIGSLIST. HE BOUGHT THAT KNIFE ON CRAIGSLIST, AND ALSO THAT
JACKET. HE GOT THE MASK FROM HIS EX-GIRLFRIEND, BUT, GUESS WHAT
HE FOUND HER ON CRAIGSLIST TOO.
DO YOU
REALLY
WANNA
RISK IT?
NO
YES
RIP
t
MEET ADAM. HE NEEDS A ROOMMATE TOO.
HE'S NORMAL. HE'S ALREADY GOT A SWEET
2 BED/1 BATH CONDO IN OAK LAWN. AND.
MOST IMPORTATLY. HE ISNT THIS FCKN GUY
MESSAGE ADAM.
NOTASERIALKILLER2019@GMAIL.COM
My cousin asked me to post a roommate wanted ad for him. Probably not what he had in mind, but facts are facts.

Save

: Jennifer Michelle Greenberg @JennMGreenberg "Uh, Mom?" said my 6 year old. "Look at your child." So l looked, and there, sitting cross- legged in a miniature lawn chair, was my 2 year old drinking A1 sauce straight out of the bottle.

: Jennifer Michelle Greenberg
@JennMGreenberg
"Uh, Mom?" said my 6 year old. "Look
at your child."
So l looked, and there, sitting cross-
legged in a miniature lawn chair, was
my 2 year old drinking A1 sauce
straight out of the bottle.

: Jennifer Michelle Greenberg
@JennMGreenberg
"Uh, Mom?" said my 6 year old. "Look
at your child."
So l looked, and there, sitting cross-
legged in a miniature lawn chair, was
my 2 year old drinking A1 sauce
straight out of the bottle.

Save

.: switch you know those lawn mower robots? vegetarian roombas. emergencycocktail the implication in this post that regular roombas consume meat is frankly kind of terrifying commander-ledi big portion of dust is in fact human skin so regular roombas consume mostly just human skin .

.: switch
you know those lawn mower robots? vegetarian
roombas.
emergencycocktail
the implication in this post that regular
roombas consume meat is frankly kind of
terrifying
commander-ledi
big portion of dust is in fact human skin so
regular roombas consume mostly just human
skin
.

.: switch
you know those lawn mower robots? vegetarian
roombas.
emergencycocktail
the implication in this post that regular
roombas consume meat is frankly kind of
terrifying
commander-ledi
big portion of dust is in fact human skin so
regular roombas consume mostly just human
skin
.

.

Save

My landlord is a dick: O 11% .I Verizon 6:01 PM Landlord 7 Is the front lawn sprayed with pesticides Why do you spray with pesticides? Can you please send any requests to Z@hotmail.com I came across the opportunity to acquire a goat to help with lawn maintenance. Is this yard goat friendly? Absolutely not so there are pesticides? All over the place iMessage My landlord is a dick

My landlord is a dick: O 11%
.I Verizon
6:01 PM
Landlord
7
Is the front lawn sprayed with
pesticides
Why
do you spray with pesticides?
Can you please send any
requests to
Z@hotmail.com
I came across the opportunity
to acquire a goat to help with
lawn maintenance. Is this yard
goat friendly?
Absolutely not
so there are pesticides?
All over the place
iMessage
My landlord is a dick

My landlord is a dick: O 11%
.I Verizon
6:01 PM
Landlord
7
Is the front lawn sprayed with
pesticides
Why
do you spray with pesticides?
Can you please send any
requests to
Z@hotmail.com
I came across the opportunity
to acquire a goat to help with
lawn maintenance. Is this yard
goat friendly?
Absolutely not
so there are pesticides?
All over the place
iMessage
My landlord is a dick

Save

Dog: you can’t just assume my comfort zone.: SHEWAS TOO LAZY TO MOVE WHILE DAD WAS MOWING THE LAWN Dog: you can’t just assume my comfort zone.

Dog: you can’t just assume my comfort zone.: SHEWAS TOO LAZY TO MOVE WHILE DAD WAS MOWING
THE LAWN
Dog: you can’t just assume my comfort zone.

Dog: you can’t just assume my comfort zone.: SHEWAS TOO LAZY TO MOVE WHILE DAD WAS MOWING
THE LAWN
Dog: you can’t just assume my comfort zone.

Dog: you can’t just assume my comfort zone.

Save

Wholesome words from a wholesome man: People always say, "God, you know, it must suck to be blind", "My God, how do you do it?", "Oh, you poor guy.". It's true! But you know what? There are plenty of good things about beign blind I go on airplanes first. I get VIP freatment at amusement parks. THE TOMMY EDISON Never have to worry about drinking and driving My electric bill's lower than yours... I don't have to do my own lawn. HETE THE TOMMY EDISON O ride the train for half fare. Sometimes even free! Every single woman I've ever been with is a 10 I don't have to watch somebody age. You know what's cool about beign blind? There's no race. I don't know from beauty. I know people from what it comes out of their mouth, and what's in their heart. That's how I know people. It's very cool that way. EDISON Wholesome words from a wholesome man

Wholesome words from a wholesome man: People always say, "God, you know, it must suck to be blind", "My God, how do
you do it?", "Oh, you poor guy.". It's true! But you know what? There are plenty
of good things about beign blind
I go on airplanes first.
I get VIP freatment at amusement parks.
THE
TOMMY
EDISON
Never have to worry about drinking and driving
My electric bill's lower than yours...
I don't have to do my own lawn.
HETE
THE
TOMMY
EDISON
O ride the train for half fare. Sometimes even free!
Every single woman I've ever
been with is a 10
I don't have to watch somebody age.
You know what's cool about beign blind? There's no race. I don't know from beauty.
I know people from what it comes out of their mouth, and what's in their heart.
That's how I know people. It's very cool that way.
EDISON
Wholesome words from a wholesome man

Wholesome words from a wholesome man: People always say, "God, you know, it must suck to be blind", "My God, how do
you do it?", "Oh, you poor guy.". It's true! But you know what? There are plenty
of good things about beign blind
I go on airplanes first.
I get VIP freatment at amusement parks.
THE
TOMMY
EDISON
Never have to worry about drinking and driving
My electric bill's lower than yours...
I don't have to do my own lawn.
HETE
THE
TOMMY
EDISON
O ride the train for half fare. Sometimes even free!
Every single woman I've ever
been with is a 10
I don't have to watch somebody age.
You know what's cool about beign blind? There's no race. I don't know from beauty.
I know people from what it comes out of their mouth, and what's in their heart.
That's how I know people. It's very cool that way.
EDISON
Wholesome words from a wholesome man

Wholesome words from a wholesome man

Save

I’m deeming this man a national treasure for being funny and having an outlook on life that we should all have. via /r/wholesomememes https://ift.tt/2Zo4KHu: L.AW THETH People always say, "God, you know, it must suck to be blind", "My God, how do you do it?", "Oh, you poor guy.". It's true! But you know what? There are plenty of good things about beign blind I go on airplanes first I get VIP treatmentat amusement parks. THE TOMMY EDISON Never have to worry about drinking and driving. My electric bill's lower than yours... I don't have to do my own lawn. THE TOMMY EDISON Oride the train for half fare. Sometimes even free! Every single woman I've ever been with is a 10 I don't have to watch somebody age. You know what's cool about beign blind? There's no race. I don't know from beauty. I know people from what it comes out of their mouth, and what's in their heart. That's how I know people. It's very cool that way. EDISON EXEINCE I’m deeming this man a national treasure for being funny and having an outlook on life that we should all have. via /r/wholesomememes https://ift.tt/2Zo4KHu

I’m deeming this man a national treasure for being funny and having an outlook on life that we should all have. via /r/wholesomememes https://ift.tt/2Zo4KHu: L.AW
THETH
People always say, "God, you know, it must suck to be blind", "My God, how do
you do it?", "Oh, you poor guy.". It's true! But you know what? There are plenty
of good things about beign blind
I go on airplanes first
I get VIP treatmentat amusement parks.
THE
TOMMY
EDISON
Never have to worry about drinking and driving.
My electric bill's lower than yours...
I don't have to do my own lawn.
THE
TOMMY
EDISON
Oride the train for half fare. Sometimes even free!
Every single woman I've ever
been with is a 10
I don't have to watch somebody age.
You know what's cool about beign blind? There's no race. I don't know from beauty.
I know people from what it comes out of their mouth, and what's in their heart.
That's how I know people. It's very cool that way.
EDISON
EXEINCE
I’m deeming this man a national treasure for being funny and having an outlook on life that we should all have. via /r/wholesomememes https://ift.tt/2Zo4KHu

I’m deeming this man a national treasure for being funny and having an outlook on life that we should all have. via /r/wholesomememes https://ift.tt/2Zo4KHu: L.AW
THETH
People always say, "God, you know, it must suck to be blind", "My God, how do
you do it?", "Oh, you poor guy.". It's true! But you know what? There are plenty
of good things about beign blind
I go on airplanes first
I get VIP treatmentat amusement parks.
THE
TOMMY
EDISON
Never have to worry about drinking and driving.
My electric bill's lower than yours...
I don't have to do my own lawn.
THE
TOMMY
EDISON
Oride the train for half fare. Sometimes even free!
Every single woman I've ever
been with is a 10
I don't have to watch somebody age.
You know what's cool about beign blind? There's no race. I don't know from beauty.
I know people from what it comes out of their mouth, and what's in their heart.
That's how I know people. It's very cool that way.
EDISON
EXEINCE
I’m deeming this man a national treasure for being funny and having an outlook on life that we should all have. via /r/wholesomememes https://ift.tt/2Zo4KHu

I’m deeming this man a national treasure for being funny and having an outlook on life that we should all have. via /r/wholesomememes htt...

Save

They evolved for nothing: Humans: cuts lawn The lawn: releases scent to save itself Humans: "I love the smell of fresh cut grass." The lawn: HACESandCo They evolved for nothing

They evolved for nothing: Humans: cuts lawn
The lawn: releases scent to save itself
Humans: "I love the smell
of fresh cut grass."
The lawn:
HACESandCo
They evolved for nothing

They evolved for nothing: Humans: cuts lawn
The lawn: releases scent to save itself
Humans: "I love the smell
of fresh cut grass."
The lawn:
HACESandCo
They evolved for nothing

They evolved for nothing

Save

You can make some money now: Mave @MavenofHonor Friend has been complaining about finding an avocado on his lawn every day for weeks now. Why would someone keep throwing avocados in his yard? Who would do that? You guys he just realized he has an avocado tree You can make some money now

You can make some money now: Mave
@MavenofHonor
Friend has been complaining
about finding an avocado on his
lawn every day for weeks now.
Why would someone keep
throwing avocados in his yard?
Who would do that? You guys he
just realized he has an avocado
tree
You can make some money now

You can make some money now: Mave
@MavenofHonor
Friend has been complaining
about finding an avocado on his
lawn every day for weeks now.
Why would someone keep
throwing avocados in his yard?
Who would do that? You guys he
just realized he has an avocado
tree
You can make some money now

You can make some money now

Save

Way to go Mark: |nice fuckin move Mark Bulhboro Dr LMMY ΥΕED Now That I Have Your Attention MARK'S LAWN CARE 679-4 7 T Way to go Mark

Way to go Mark: |nice fuckin move Mark
Bulhboro Dr
LMMY
ΥΕED
Now That I Have Your Attention
MARK'S LAWN CARE
679-4 7 T
Way to go Mark

Way to go Mark: |nice fuckin move Mark
Bulhboro Dr
LMMY
ΥΕED
Now That I Have Your Attention
MARK'S LAWN CARE
679-4 7 T
Way to go Mark

Save

I remember old people being nicer when I was younger.: Every old person in our neighborhood whenever they see a kid in the distance: IF THOSE LITTLE FUCKERS COULD STAY OFF MY LAWN, THAT WOULD BE GREEEEAAT. INIT I remember old people being nicer when I was younger.

I remember old people being nicer when I was younger.: Every old person in our
neighborhood whenever they
see a kid in the distance:
IF THOSE LITTLE FUCKERS COULD STAY OFF
MY LAWN, THAT WOULD BE GREEEEAAT.
INIT
I remember old people being nicer when I was younger.

I remember old people being nicer when I was younger.: Every old person in our
neighborhood whenever they
see a kid in the distance:
IF THOSE LITTLE FUCKERS COULD STAY OFF
MY LAWN, THAT WOULD BE GREEEEAAT.
INIT
I remember old people being nicer when I was younger.

Save

ouch: When your little brother runs over your foot with his tricycle so you run him over with the lawn mower Chool Choo Motherfucker ouch

ouch: When your little brother runs over
your foot with his tricycle so you
run him over with the lawn mower
Chool Choo Motherfucker
ouch

ouch: When your little brother runs over
your foot with his tricycle so you
run him over with the lawn mower
Chool Choo Motherfucker
ouch

Save

me irl by me-not-productive MORE MEMES: When your little brother runs over your foot with his tricycle so you run him over with the lawn mower 1 Choo Chon Motherfucker me irl by me-not-productive MORE MEMES

me irl by me-not-productive
MORE MEMES: When your little brother runs over
your foot with his tricycle so you
run him over with the lawn mower
1
Choo Chon Motherfucker
me irl by me-not-productive
MORE MEMES

me irl by me-not-productive
MORE MEMES: When your little brother runs over
your foot with his tricycle so you
run him over with the lawn mower
1
Choo Chon Motherfucker
me irl by me-not-productive
MORE MEMES

Save

A bot watched over 1000 hours of lawyer commercials and then made this: Keaton Patti Follow eKeatonPatti I forced a bot to watch over 1,000 hours of lawyer commercials and then asked it to write a lawyer commercial of its own. Here is the first page LAWYER COMMERCIAL INT. FIRM LAW ROOM A LAWYER stands next to a shelf with books. The books are very wide. They have eaten too many words LAWYER Have you been hurt in an accidental car? Has the government sold your lungs without asking nicely? Are you Mesothelioma? Answer me! The lawyer opens a briefcase. It's full of lemons, the justice fruit only lawyers may touch LAWYER (CONT'D) If so, you can act entitled for money. I'l help. I graduated from lawn school and all my teachers were bitten by dogs Words scrol1 across bottom of the screen. These are cases the lawyer takes: UNFAIR STABBING, ILLEGAL SHOES, HUSIC TO0 CANADIAN, SUE THE RAIN, DIvORCE YOUR TOILET, FAKE SONS. LAWYER (CONT'D) I have been a lawyer for over 35 weekends and I'm currently dating the Bill of Rights for fun. We see the Bill of Rights. It's in love. The lawyer will1 break its heart. There's nothing we can do. LAWYER (CONT'D) Let me use it to send your asbestos to court. I will wear two suits and I promise to steal the judge's gavel for you The lawyer opens up the jacket of his first suit. Millions of gavels pour out. His promise has worth LAWYER (CONT D) My clients never go to jail town We see his past clients: a tornado, a tornado, a tornado LAWYER (CONT 'D) Remember, you don't pay any money unless you pay us money. Call for a free use of phone The phone digits appear. It's your social security number A bot watched over 1000 hours of lawyer commercials and then made this

A bot watched over 1000 hours of lawyer commercials and then made this: Keaton Patti
Follow
eKeatonPatti
I forced a bot to watch over 1,000 hours
of lawyer commercials and then asked it
to write a lawyer commercial of its own.
Here is the first page
LAWYER COMMERCIAL
INT. FIRM LAW ROOM
A LAWYER stands next to a shelf with books. The books
are
very wide. They have eaten too many words
LAWYER
Have you been hurt in an accidental
car? Has the government sold your
lungs without asking nicely? Are
you Mesothelioma? Answer me!
The lawyer opens a briefcase. It's full of lemons, the
justice fruit only lawyers may touch
LAWYER (CONT'D)
If so, you can act entitled for
money. I'l help. I graduated from
lawn school and all my teachers
were bitten by dogs
Words scrol1 across bottom of the screen. These are cases the
lawyer takes: UNFAIR STABBING, ILLEGAL SHOES, HUSIC TO0
CANADIAN, SUE THE RAIN, DIvORCE YOUR TOILET, FAKE SONS.
LAWYER (CONT'D)
I have been a lawyer for over 35
weekends and I'm currently dating
the Bill of Rights for fun.
We see the Bill of Rights. It's in love. The lawyer will1
break its heart. There's nothing we can do.
LAWYER (CONT'D)
Let me use it to send your asbestos
to court. I will wear two suits and
I promise to steal the judge's
gavel for you
The lawyer opens up the jacket of his first suit. Millions of
gavels pour out. His promise has worth
LAWYER (CONT D)
My clients never go to jail town
We see his past clients: a tornado, a tornado, a tornado
LAWYER (CONT 'D)
Remember, you don't pay any money
unless you pay us money. Call for a
free use of phone
The phone digits appear. It's your social security number
A bot watched over 1000 hours of lawyer commercials and then made this

A bot watched over 1000 hours of lawyer commercials and then made this: Keaton Patti
Follow
eKeatonPatti
I forced a bot to watch over 1,000 hours
of lawyer commercials and then asked it
to write a lawyer commercial of its own.
Here is the first page
LAWYER COMMERCIAL
INT. FIRM LAW ROOM
A LAWYER stands next to a shelf with books. The books
are
very wide. They have eaten too many words
LAWYER
Have you been hurt in an accidental
car? Has the government sold your
lungs without asking nicely? Are
you Mesothelioma? Answer me!
The lawyer opens a briefcase. It's full of lemons, the
justice fruit only lawyers may touch
LAWYER (CONT'D)
If so, you can act entitled for
money. I'l help. I graduated from
lawn school and all my teachers
were bitten by dogs
Words scrol1 across bottom of the screen. These are cases the
lawyer takes: UNFAIR STABBING, ILLEGAL SHOES, HUSIC TO0
CANADIAN, SUE THE RAIN, DIvORCE YOUR TOILET, FAKE SONS.
LAWYER (CONT'D)
I have been a lawyer for over 35
weekends and I'm currently dating
the Bill of Rights for fun.
We see the Bill of Rights. It's in love. The lawyer will1
break its heart. There's nothing we can do.
LAWYER (CONT'D)
Let me use it to send your asbestos
to court. I will wear two suits and
I promise to steal the judge's
gavel for you
The lawyer opens up the jacket of his first suit. Millions of
gavels pour out. His promise has worth
LAWYER (CONT D)
My clients never go to jail town
We see his past clients: a tornado, a tornado, a tornado
LAWYER (CONT 'D)
Remember, you don't pay any money
unless you pay us money. Call for a
free use of phone
The phone digits appear. It's your social security number
A bot watched over 1000 hours of lawyer commercials and then made this

A bot watched over 1000 hours of lawyer commercials and then made this

Save

The true gamers: People that defeat the Ender Dragon on hardcore mode I tip my hat to you, One legend to another People that finish Plants Vs Zombies without losing a single lawn mower ERTS The true gamers

The true gamers: People that defeat the Ender Dragon on
hardcore mode
I tip my hat to you,
One legend to another
People that finish Plants
Vs Zombies without losing
a single lawn mower
ERTS
The true gamers

The true gamers: People that defeat the Ender Dragon on
hardcore mode
I tip my hat to you,
One legend to another
People that finish Plants
Vs Zombies without losing
a single lawn mower
ERTS
The true gamers

The true gamers

Save

Vegans be like: When you eat grass from your neighbours lawn for a living Professional BRONTOSAURUS Vegans be like

Vegans be like: When you eat grass from your
neighbours lawn for a living
Professional
BRONTOSAURUS
Vegans be like

Vegans be like: When you eat grass from your
neighbours lawn for a living
Professional
BRONTOSAURUS
Vegans be like

Vegans be like

Save

A man’s destiny... from reddit u/Brixu: r/mildlyinteresting /brixu 6h My father's New Balance collection, from going out in public to lawn mowing A man’s destiny... from reddit u/Brixu

A man’s destiny...

from reddit u/Brixu: r/mildlyinteresting
/brixu 6h
My father's New Balance collection, from
going out in public to lawn mowing
A man’s destiny...

from reddit u/Brixu

A man’s destiny...

from reddit u/Brixu: r/mildlyinteresting
/brixu 6h
My father's New Balance collection, from
going out in public to lawn mowing
A man’s destiny...

from reddit u/Brixu

A man’s destiny... from reddit u/Brixu

Save

98 Mindless Memes To Help You Relax: Jock sON Lawn Duty @GucciFeline I do not want to go to this gym anymore 98 Mindless Memes To Help You Relax

98 Mindless Memes To Help You Relax: Jock sON Lawn Duty
@GucciFeline
I do not want to go to this gym anymore
98 Mindless Memes To Help You Relax

98 Mindless Memes To Help You Relax: Jock sON Lawn Duty
@GucciFeline
I do not want to go to this gym anymore
98 Mindless Memes To Help You Relax

98 Mindless Memes To Help You Relax

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30 Buttery Memes About The Midwest That Are Completely Spot On - CheezCake - Parenting | Relationships | Food | Lifestyle: Tornado WARNING: Seek shelter immediately* Midwestern folk on their front lawn: 30 Buttery Memes About The Midwest That Are Completely Spot On - CheezCake - Parenting | Relationships | Food | Lifestyle

30 Buttery Memes About The Midwest That Are Completely Spot On - CheezCake - Parenting | Relationships | Food | Lifestyle: Tornado WARNING: Seek shelter
immediately*
Midwestern folk on their front lawn:
30 Buttery Memes About The Midwest That Are Completely Spot On - CheezCake - Parenting | Relationships | Food | Lifestyle

30 Buttery Memes About The Midwest That Are Completely Spot On - CheezCake - Parenting | Relationships | Food | Lifestyle: Tornado WARNING: Seek shelter
immediately*
Midwestern folk on their front lawn:
30 Buttery Memes About The Midwest That Are Completely Spot On - CheezCake - Parenting | Relationships | Food | Lifestyle

30 Buttery Memes About The Midwest That Are Completely Spot On - CheezCake - Parenting | Relationships | Food | Lifestyle

Save