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Dude, Fafsa, and Lawyer: Can you marry me 5:01 PM I just got back from my school and they said they cannot give me any aid except for unsubsidised loans unless l have a child, get married, or turn 24, so I have to get married Yeah ok I'll marry you I need a better fafsa application too Wait seriously Would you really do it Im doing actual research on it Are we doing this It would have to happen like lightning fast cause my next semester happens pretty damn soon I don't know how fast this happens lemme check Ughhhh okay so we'd need to get a marriage license which can be up to $30 depending on where we get it, and THEN we need to file for a marriage certificate I'm an ordained minister but idk if I could file my own marriage certificate get ordained and do it Can we go to Indiana? Let me check Dude Im so excited Its possible that I can get FAFSA to pay for an entire apartment for me to go to school in Milwaukee DUDE WHAT Okay so there's no minister registration required in lllinois so Yeah I'm looking that up right now Ive heard that if one partner commits adultery, thats grounds for a quicker divorce Yeah this sample form I'm looking at says "irretrievable breakdown" of marriage Worse comes to worse we can stage a fight but I think we can just say yeah it's not working out Does it include adultery divorce ranging from $15,000 to $30,000. Most of this money is spent on legal fees. So Fuck lawyers We don't need a lawyer We don't have kids we don't have property to divide up Oh thats only for a lawyer We don't have alimony to negotiate We're just two guys being dudes. Gettin a divorce portraitofemmy: possiblestoner: marzipanandminutiae: A. imagine your otp B. dear gods this country has massive issues I’ve been looking for this post for ages listen, I’ve read enough fanfic to know that they’re not getting divorced, but it’ll take about 35k of pining to figure that out.
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Crazy, Driving, and Fire: ceasarslegion Reporter in the Marvel unviverse: Anthony Stark, well-known as a generous philanthropist, the CEO of Stark Industries, and his alter-ego "Iron Man," under fire today after a controversial video he posted to his personal Vine account went viral. The short footage showed Stark in the passenger seat of a car, driving by an anti-homosexual rally, repeatedly shouting "I love sucking [expletive for male genitalia]" out of the open window. purgatoryandme A+ Concept, I love it, I'm dying, it's too good. It becomes the hottest new meme throughout the US. Every single time there's some homophobic rally, Hell, every time there's a rally held by homophobes whether or not the rally was ABOUT homophobia there's now teens doing drive-by's being like "Ahem, this one is for Tony Stark ILOVE SUCKING [expletive for male genitalia]". The meme keeps escalating as people find newer and funnier ways to bleep out what they are saying in real time and on Vine. The most popular way? The sound of a repulser charging up The whole thing drives homophobes crazy. They hate it so much, it literally has some people trying to create their own counter meme ("I love sucking UP TO JESUS") that goes very very badly (exactly how you'd expect). So, out of options, they try to sue Tony. Everybody should know better than to sue Tony. His lawyers tear them apart. There's an unholy grin on Tony's face during the entire publicized case - he's in a rainbow suit. He's in rainbow shades. He's wearing a harness over his suit and his shoes literally leave glitter footprints everywhere he goes. His tie says "I love sucking [REPULSER NOISE]. Twitter goes nuts. A still of Tony from the trial, one where he is sarcastically blowing pink glitter into the face of a woman trying to hit him with a picket sign, becomes a reaction image nobody can resist. You wanna represent how tired you are of homophobic comments? That's your image. It's usually coupled by one of Rhodey in the background, military dress uniform smeared in glitter and a blatant glittery kiss mark pressed to his cheek, staring at the ceiling and praying for death this is canon now

this is canon now

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Anaconda, Spider, and SpiderMan: SO YOU'RE SAYING EVERY TIME GARGAN OR BROCK HAS BEEN INCARCERATED- 5 -WHILE BONDED WITH THIS ALIEN CREATURE, THEY'VE BEEN PERMITTED TO KEEP IT ON THEIR PERSON?! YES! EVEN THOUGH WE'VE KNOWN WE COULD REMOVE IT WITH SONIC BLASTS! BLAME THE ACLU AND PETA! THEY LOBBIED FOR THE RIGHTS OF THE SYMBIOTE! UNBELIEVABLE! WHY NOT LET HIM CARRY A LOADED FIREARM WHILE THEY'RE AT IT?! symbisexual-disaster: cassowarykisses: Even though we’ve known we could remove [the symbiote] with sonic blasts [we weren’t allowed to]! Blame the ACLU and PETA! They lobbied for the rights of the symbiote! on a meta level, this is an attempt by the writers to come up with an in-universe reason for Venom never being broken up into human symbiote when they’ve been arrested (and also take a dig at the ACLU and PETA) but in-universe? the raw implications of the ACLU having a successful symbiote rights campaign that happens entirely offscreen and is never mentioned again?  when did this campaign happen?  who spearheaded it? Eddie did date two lawyers (Anne Weying and Beck Underwood) - were they involved in any capacity? did the ACLU actually sue on behalf of the symbiote? if so, what judge presided over this? what new fields of case law have been opened up by this? what existing case law is there in the Marvel universe for the rights of mutants and extraterrestrials? who were the witnesses in this case? even if it never went to court and was a 100% an ACLU campaign to get people to appeal to their representatives on behalf of symbiotes, you could still have expert witnesses called to Congress. you probably can’t subpoena Spider-Man, since his identity isn’t public, but what about Reed Richards (since he had the symbiote in captivity at least once)? what about various prison therapists and case managers? Matt Murdock, since he represented Venom in the Venom: On Trial miniseries? there is an entire court drama waiting to be written here and this throwaway line will never be touched on again This is insane hahaha That awkward moment when a comic universe PETA is more progressive than the real one.

symbisexual-disaster: cassowarykisses: Even though we’ve known we could remove [the symbiote] with sonic blasts [we weren’t allowed to]! Bl...

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America, Anaconda, and Cards Against Humanity: GAINST F SAVES A MERICA DAY THRE Dear Citizen, In order to deliver on our promise to save America, we knew we needed to tackle our country's biggest issue: wealth inequality. The richest 0.1% of Americans have as much wealth as the bottom 90% our lawyers wouldn't let us pursue our first choice - a campaign to eat all the rich Cards Against Humanity has redistributed your wealth Using the survey you filled out when you signed up, we identified the 100 poorest people and live in their houses so we settled for something more achievable. Today recipients and sent them each a check for $1,000. To see how this $1,000 is impacting these people's lives, read their stories at CardsAgainstHumanityRedistributesYourWealth.com The next 10,000 poorest recipients got a $15 refund check. You got nothing. And if you don't like it, tough titties love you, Cards Against Humanity My money stolen by Cards Against Humanity and redistributed to people poorer than me. Oh shit! I just got SAGAINSTHUMANITYSAVESA Cards Against Humanity Cards Against Humanity raspberrymama: viewtiful-kim: solluxisms: systlin: strutsonicely: tomyfancy: systlin: I’M DYING Day 3 of 5 “Dear Citizen, In order to deliver on our promise to save America, we knew we needed to tackle our country’s biggest issue: wealth inequality. The richest 0.1% of Americans have as much wealth as the bottom 90%. Our lawyers wouldn’t let us pursue our first choice - a campaign to eat all the rich people and live in their homes - so we settled for something more achievable. Today, Card Against Humanity has redistributed your wealth. Using the survey you filled out when you signed up, we identified the 100 poorest recipients and sent them each  check for $1,000. To see how this $1,000 is impacting these peoples lives, read their stories at CardsAgainstHumanityRedistributesYourWealth.com. The next 10,000 poorest recipients got a $15 refund check. You got nothing. And if you don’t like it, tough titties. I love you, Cards Against Humanity” I was one of the 100 to get the check from these folks, and holy shit I was CACKLING at the hurt people on Facebook. Some people only cared about their precious $15 when it helped the poor. Congrats! I’m thrilled that some of my $$$ went to people who needed it.  I went to their website for this to see if info on the other days was out, and their FAQ is so perfect I almost choked to death. “We’re Just Being regular correct” D A M I stan one (1) card game
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Animals, Apparently, and Ass: tumblintuck Follow 1r PETA you guys remember when PETA stole people pets off their porches and you guys remember how it came out that PETA kills about 90% of the animals it takes in, including healthy and adoptable puppies and kittens, stating We could become a no-kill shelter immediately. It means we wouldn't do as much work"? you guys remember when PETA advocated killing all pit bulls for the crime of being pit bulls? you guys remember when PETA handed out these comics to children when there you guys remember when they made a porn site and then filled it with videos of animal abuse, and (also in that link) claimed cats should be vegetarian? you guys remember when PETA lied about sheep shearing, got caught, and defended the lie as true even after they admitted the sheep in their picture wasn't even real? you guys remember when they tried to excuse their horrifying ways by claiming that the person who exposed them was manipulating the facts by taking them and putting them in the wrong context? Because I remember. I remember everything And I'm gonna make sure everyone else test Why would they kill pit bulls they're sweeties Because PETA does not care about animals. they do not care that these dogs live and breathe and feel and want love like every other dog. they do not care about the history of human/dog bonding and co-evolution, they do not care that dogs and human beings have relied on each other for millennia, they do not care that its cruel and morally repugnant to put down an animal just because you can, they do not care about animals. PETA cares about money and publicity, its a corporation run by a psychopath who is afraid of pitts as it states in the ink: she was apparently bit by one, and now she hates them. PETA doesn't give a rats ass about animals. They just want to kill and make money off of idiots who fall of their spiel. testi Some celebs support them i-n-m-h ah c'mon, dear-tumb1r, I think you're being a bit harsh. I mean, okay, PETA'S done some questionable things, but it's not like they've also -spread false information about milk causing autism based on outdated -used holocaust imagery to compare the meat industry to concentration camps -used a young man's brutal death as a way to say "yeah that's awful but it happens to animals every day and nobody cares about that" (tw: no pictures but the way the guy died is described and it is really horrible) -dressed up in KKK robes and protested outside of the Westminister Dog Show to protest breeding/pure bred dogs (tw: racism) -offered to pay the water bill for literally the poorest neighborhood in Detroit if and only if they all went vegan for a month (tw: self-righteous shitheads) -and they definitely didn't have two of their workers accept perfectly healthy animals from an animal hospital, with the implication that they would give them good homes, clarify that these animals were all healthy and well-tempered, and then euthanized them all in the back of a kill-van before dumping their dead bodies behind a grocery store (tw PICTURES OF DEAD ANIMALS, animal death) -and they totally didn't get off pretty much scot-free for it because PETA has oads of money and lawyers to defend themselves, which coincidentally might be why the Cerate family hasn't seen justice for their kidnapped and murdered dog, Maya. (tw: animal death) Nah. PETA's not that bad. /the heaviest of all my fucking sarcasm, I am salty as a fucking winter road, lord do l fucking hate PETA) Did you think i was fucking joking, PETA? I will make sure everyone fucking remembers what you've done. 1r Bringing it back, because it's charity season and people need to know NOT to give charity to these fuckers. Source 12,250 notesD Friendly reminder about PETA
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Animals, Apparently, and Ass: E tumblintuck Follow dear-tumb1r PETA you guys remember when PETA stole people pets off their porches and you guys remember how it came out that PETA kills about 90% of the animals it takes in, including healthy and adoptable puppies and kittens, stating " We could become a no-kill shelter immediately. It means we wouldn't do as much work"? you guys remember when PETA advocated killing all pit bulls for the crime of being pit bulls? you guys remember when PETA handed out these comics to children when there you guys remember when they made a porn site and then filled it with videos of animal abuse, and (also in that link) claimed cats should be vegetarian? you guys remember when PETA lied about sheep shearing, got caught, and defended the lie as true even after they admitted the sheep in their picture you guys remember when they tried to excuse their horrifying ways by claiming that the person who exposed them was manipulating the facts by taking them and putting them in the wrong context? Because I remember. I remember everything. And I'm gonna make sure everyone else too. testingforcake23 Why would they kill pit bulls they're Because PETA does not care about animals. they do not care that these dogs live and breathe and feel and want love like every other dog. they do not care about the history of human/dog bonding and co-evolution, they do not care that dogs and human beings have relied on each other for millennia, they do not care that its cruel and morally repugnant to put down an animal just because you can, they do not care about animals. PETA cares about money and publicity, who is afraid of pitts as it states in the link: she was apparently bit by one, and now she hates them. PETA doesn't give a rats ass about animals. They just want to kill and make money off of idiots who fall of their spiel. testingforcake23 Some celebs support them ah c'mon, dear-tumbir, I think you're being a bit harsh. I mean, okay, PETA's some not like they've also -spread false information about milk causing autism based on outdated bullshit information used holocaust imagery to compare the meat industry to concentration camps (no pictures) used a young man's brutal death as a way to say "yeah that's awful but it happens to animals every day and nobody cares about that" (tw: no pictures but the way the guy died is described and it is really horrible) -dressed up in KKK robes and protested outside of the Westminister Dog Show to protest breeding/pure bred dogs (tw: racism) offered to pay the water bill for literally the poorest neighborhood in Detroit if and only if they all went vegan for a month (tw: self-righteous shitheads) -and they definitely didn't have two of their workers accept perfectly healthy animals from an animal hospital, with the implication that they would give them good homes, clarify that these animals were all healthy and well-tempered, and then euthanized them all in the back of a kill-van before dumping their dead bodies behind a grocery store (tw: PICTURES OF DEAD ANIMALS, animal and they totally didn't get off pretty much scot-free for it because PETA has loads of money and lawyers to defend themselves, which coincidentally might be why the Cerate family hasn't seen justice for their kidnapped and murdered dog, Maya.(tw: animal death) Nah. PETA's not that bad. /the heaviest of all my fucking sarcasm, am salty as a fucking winter road, lord do lfucking hate PETA) dear-tumb1r Did you think i was fucking joking, PETA? I will make sure everyone fucking remembers what you've done. Bringing it back, because it's charity season and people need to know NOT to give charity to these fuckers. Source: dear-tumbir 312,250 notes > Just a reminder this holiday season, spread the word.
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