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El Chapo, Joaquín Guzmán, and Memes: ELCHAPO MISTRESS FLIPS ON HIM IN COURT, EXPOSES SECRETS OF HIS NAKED ESCAPE THROUGH MEXICAN SEWER AS WIFE LISTENS @Fap El Chapo’s mistress testified against him in court and spoke about the time El Chapo escaped from the authorities using an underground sewer tunnel.⁣⁣ -⁣⁣ The mistress stated that she was in bed with Chapo at 3AM on Feb. 16, 2014, when she was suddenly woken up by loud noises,⁣⁣ -⁣⁣ “I heard, like, a lot of thumps and helicopters. I heard yelling,” she recalled. Which was a U.S team and Mexican forces trying to break in the house.⁣⁣ -⁣⁣ “They’re on us! They’re on us!” Chapo’s associate Carlos Manuel (Condor) Hoo Ramirez yelled as Chapo, whose real name is Joaquín Guzmán Loera, started running around in a panic, Sánchez said.⁣⁣ - -⁣ ⁣ She also stated that Chapo was completely naked through all of this,⁣ ⁣ “There was like a lid on the bathtub that came up,” Sánchez testified. “I was like, ‘Do I have to go in there?…The entire tub was hollow underneath…It had a kind of a hydraulic (lift) — they call it a piston.”⁣ ⁣ “The first thing I saw was wooden steps,” she said. “I heard (Chapo) say to Condor, ‘Close up the tub.’”⁣ -⁣ Sánchez said “complete darkness” swallowed them once the hatch was closed.⁣ ⁣ “For me, it was horrible because I had never been in a place like that. It was a humid place with mud,” she told the jury.⁣ -⁣ RapTVSTAFF: @thatkidcm

El Chapo’s mistress testified against him in court and spoke about the time El Chapo escaped from the authorities using an underground sewer...

Anaconda, At-At, and Bailey Jay: 100% facebook.com Hey everyone! Who's ready for Hawaii 2019? In anticipation of the wedding, and believe me, I know it's a longgg way away...but I would still like to announce the dress code! I am giving you a long notice of a year and a half so that you will have time to find and pick out something nice : The dress code is very specific because it will be used to create an incredible visual effect. If done right, it will make our synchronized dancing along the beach really pop SO, without further adoo WOMEN (100-160 LBS) GREEN Velvet Sweater ORANGE Suede Pants -Loubotin heels (the famous RED heeled shoes. when we spin and lift our feet, the effect will amaze you) -Burberry Scarf MEN (100-200 LBS) PURPLE Fuzzy Jacket Soda Hat All White Trainers -Plain Glow Sticks WOMEN (160 LBS +) -all BLACK sweater and pants. Any material -BLACK heels MEN (200 LBS+) -all CAMOFLAGE BLACK sneakers CHILDREN RED from head to toe. Remember the kids will form the shape of a heart, it needs to be true red not blood orange or some bullshit! Additionally, we will require that you wear formal attire after the dancing has ended. Please bring a change of clothing. Remember, the venue is extremely upscale, and we want to be looking our absolute BEST ladies and gents please, if you look like trash, so will we. All jokes aside, we want you to invest in an outfit valued at at least $1,000. This includes jewlery, accessories, makeup, and hair. Remember ladies and gents, this wedding is 24k themed for a reasorn You have a year and a half to get working. No excuses! Mwana beyoncescock: vorecrimes: charybdis-sans-fond: imsuchacapricorn: imsuchacapricorn: caffeinatedcorvid: lady-caryatid: daffodyke: doctormemes: symmetraismygf: squeezemetillipop: hornsandblackwool: Are straight white people okay???? What is this?! People like this exist. Interesting. this story has a part 2 THERE IS A PART 3 WITH GUEST RESPONSES I REPEAT THERE IS A PART 3 THIS IS NOT A DRILL I thought things couldn’t get more horrifyingly amusing than the woman who wanted people to pay $1000 each to go to her wedding so she could “feel like a Kardashian for a day” and had a Facebook breakdown about it saying she was gonna go backpacking in Peru to “find herself” after being “betrayed” by her friends who didn’t want to partake but here we are I thought it was the same person ngl. I’m in the wedding shaming group and saw both this and the Peru post before it went viral. Love it. THERE’S AN UPDATE Stephanie is a true hero. my favorite thing about this update is that the fact that we are even SEEING this means there’s AT LEAST one other snitch in the party that she hasn’t caught yet keep the updates coming please