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epicjohndoe: A Very Good Example Of ‘Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus’: Here's a prime example of "Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus" offered by an English professor from the University of Phoenix: The professor told his class one day: Today we will ex- periment with a new form called the tandem story The process is simple. Each person will pair off with the person sitting to his or her immediate right. As home- work tonight, one of you will write the first paragraph of a short story. You will e-mail your partner that para- graph and send another copy to me. The partner will read the first paragraph and then add another para- graph to the story and send it back, also sending an- other copy to me. The first person will then add a third paragraph, and so on back-and-forth. Remember to re-read what has been written each time in order to keep the story coherent. There is to be ab- solutely NO talking outside of the e-mails and any- thing you wish to say must be written in the e-mail. The story is over when both agree a con- clusion has been reached." The following was actually turned in by two of his English students: Rebecca and Gary THE STORY: (first paragraph by Rebecca) At first, Laurie couldn't decide which kind of tea she wanted. The chamomile, which used to be her favorite for lazy evenings at home, now reminded her too much of Carl, who once said, in happier times, that he liked chamomile. But she felt she must now, at all costs, keep her mind off Carl. His possessiveness was suffocating, and if she thought about him too much her asthma started acting up again. So chamomile was out of the second paragraph by Gary) Meanwhile, Advance Sergeant Carl Harris, leader of the attack squadron now in orbit over Skylon 4, had more important things to think about than the neuroses of an air-headed asthmatic bimbo named Laurie with whom he had spent one sweaty night over a year ago. "A.S. Harris to Geostation 17," he said into his transgalactic communicator. " Polar orbit established. No sign of resistance so far..." But before he could sign off a bluish particle beam flashed out of nowhere and blasted a hole through his ship's cargo bay. The jolt from the direct hit sent him flying out of his seat and across the ####pit. (Rebecca) He bumped his head and died almost immediately, but not before he felt one last pang of regret for psychically brutalizing the one woman who had ever had feelings for him. Soon afterwards, Earth stopped its pointless hostilities towards the peace ful farmers of Skylon 4. "Congress Passes Law Per- manently Abolishing War and Space Travel," Laurie read in her newspaper one morning. The news si- multaneously excited her and bored her. She stared out the window, dreaming of her youth, when the days had passed unhurriedly and care- free, with no newspaper to read, no television to distract her from her sense of innocent wonder at all the beautiful things around her. "Why must one lose one's innocence to become a woman?" she pondered wistfully Gary) Little did she know, but she had less than 10 sec- onds to live. Thousands of miles above the city, the Anu'udrian mothership launched the first of its lithium fusion missiles. The dimwitted wimpy peaceniks who pushed the Unilateral Aerospace disarmament Treaty through the congress had left Earth a defenseless target for the hostile alien em- pires who were determined to destroy the human race. Within two hours after the passage of the treaty the Anu'udrian ships were on course for Earth, carrying enough firepower to pulverize the With no one to stop them, they swiftly initiated their diabolical plan. The lithium fusion missile en- tered the atmosphere unimpeded. The President, in his top-secret mobile submarine headquarters on the ocean floor off the coast of Guam, felt the inconceivably massive explosion, which vaporized poor, stupid Laurie. (Rebecca) This is absurd. I refuse to continue this mockery of literature. My writing partner is a violent, chauvin- istic semi-literate adolescent. Gary) Yeah? Well, my writing partner is a self-centered tedious neurotic whose attempts at writing are the literary equivalent of Valium. Oh, shall I have chamomile tea? Or shall I have some other sort of F-KING TEA??? Oh no, what am I to do? I'm such an air headed bimbo who reads too many Danielle Steele novels!" Gary) B*tch. (Rebecca) F K YOU-YOU NEANDERTHALI In your dreams, Ho. Go drink some tea. A+ Ireally liked this one. epicjohndoe: A Very Good Example Of ‘Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus’
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howdidthisevenhappenanyway: ninety6tears: roguetelemetry: nekoama: prokopetz: ultrafacts: bryarly: foxfairy5: ultrafacts: Source More Facts Yes this could have to do with the fact that Freya the Norse Goddess of love, beauty and fertility drove a chariot pulled by cats. So, if I ever get married, I fully expect a catmobile.  One of the other reasons why they gave cats to each other was for their valuable skills as mousers. Cats were able to control rodent populations around their properties. Also, Norse myths are thought to have the earliest literary descriptions of the Norwegian Forest Cat. They were described as large, strong cats that drew Freya’s chariot and were so heavy that not even Thor, God of Thunder, could lift them from the floor. (Source) They kinda live up to the legend, too. Your average Norwegian Forest Cat is twenty pounds of solid muscle, with claws large and strong enough to climb solid rock. They’ve been known to attack bears when defending their territory. And yet they’re one of the cuddliest breeds out there, particularly noted for being patient with small children. I have a Norwegian mix, and can attest that she is the cuddliest cat but also insane enough to try and fight a bear. Viking cats “FIGHT ME” Whosoever holds this hammer, if he be worthy, still could not lift this cat. I always love it when this post comes round because a) giant kitties who Thor can’t lift and b) that picture omg boar riding and flower throwing is a good thing : The Vikings would give kittens to newlywed brides as an essential part of a new household. Ultrafacts.tumblr.com howdidthisevenhappenanyway: ninety6tears: roguetelemetry: nekoama: prokopetz: ultrafacts: bryarly: foxfairy5: ultrafacts: Source More Facts Yes this could have to do with the fact that Freya the Norse Goddess of love, beauty and fertility drove a chariot pulled by cats. So, if I ever get married, I fully expect a catmobile.  One of the other reasons why they gave cats to each other was for their valuable skills as mousers. Cats were able to control rodent populations around their properties. Also, Norse myths are thought to have the earliest literary descriptions of the Norwegian Forest Cat. They were described as large, strong cats that drew Freya’s chariot and were so heavy that not even Thor, God of Thunder, could lift them from the floor. (Source) They kinda live up to the legend, too. Your average Norwegian Forest Cat is twenty pounds of solid muscle, with claws large and strong enough to climb solid rock. They’ve been known to attack bears when defending their territory. And yet they’re one of the cuddliest breeds out there, particularly noted for being patient with small children. I have a Norwegian mix, and can attest that she is the cuddliest cat but also insane enough to try and fight a bear. Viking cats “FIGHT ME” Whosoever holds this hammer, if he be worthy, still could not lift this cat. I always love it when this post comes round because a) giant kitties who Thor can’t lift and b) that picture omg boar riding and flower throwing is a good thing

howdidthisevenhappenanyway: ninety6tears: roguetelemetry: nekoama: prokopetz: ultrafacts: bryarly: foxfairy5: ultrafacts: Sour...

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epicjohndoe: A Very Good Example Of ‘Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus’: Here's a prime example of "Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus" offered by an English professor from the University of Phoenix: The professor told his class one day: Today we will ex- periment with a new form called the tandem story The process is simple. Each person will pair off with the person sitting to his or her immediate right. As home- work tonight, one of you will write the first paragraph of a short story. You will e-mail your partner that para- graph and send another copy to me. The partner will read the first paragraph and then add another para- graph to the story and send it back, also sending an- other copy to me. The first person will then add a third paragraph, and so on back-and-forth. Remember to re-read what has been written each time in order to keep the story coherent. There is to be ab- solutely NO talking outside of the e-mails and any- thing you wish to say must be written in the e-mail. The story is over when both agree a con- clusion has been reached." The following was actually turned in by two of his English students: Rebecca and Gary THE STORY: (first paragraph by Rebecca) At first, Laurie couldn't decide which kind of tea she wanted. The chamomile, which used to be her favorite for lazy evenings at home, now reminded her too much of Carl, who once said, in happier times, that he liked chamomile. But she felt she must now, at all costs, keep her mind off Carl. His possessiveness was suffocating, and if she thought about him too much her asthma started acting up again. So chamomile was out of the second paragraph by Gary) Meanwhile, Advance Sergeant Carl Harris, leader of the attack squadron now in orbit over Skylon 4, had more important things to think about than the neuroses of an air-headed asthmatic bimbo named Laurie with whom he had spent one sweaty night over a year ago. "A.S. Harris to Geostation 17," he said into his transgalactic communicator. " Polar orbit established. No sign of resistance so far..." But before he could sign off a bluish particle beam flashed out of nowhere and blasted a hole through his ship's cargo bay. The jolt from the direct hit sent him flying out of his seat and across the ####pit. (Rebecca) He bumped his head and died almost immediately, but not before he felt one last pang of regret for psychically brutalizing the one woman who had ever had feelings for him. Soon afterwards, Earth stopped its pointless hostilities towards the peace ful farmers of Skylon 4. "Congress Passes Law Per- manently Abolishing War and Space Travel," Laurie read in her newspaper one morning. The news si- multaneously excited her and bored her. She stared out the window, dreaming of her youth, when the days had passed unhurriedly and care- free, with no newspaper to read, no television to distract her from her sense of innocent wonder at all the beautiful things around her. "Why must one lose one's innocence to become a woman?" she pondered wistfully Gary) Little did she know, but she had less than 10 sec- onds to live. Thousands of miles above the city, the Anu'udrian mothership launched the first of its lithium fusion missiles. The dimwitted wimpy peaceniks who pushed the Unilateral Aerospace disarmament Treaty through the congress had left Earth a defenseless target for the hostile alien em- pires who were determined to destroy the human race. Within two hours after the passage of the treaty the Anu'udrian ships were on course for Earth, carrying enough firepower to pulverize the With no one to stop them, they swiftly initiated their diabolical plan. The lithium fusion missile en- tered the atmosphere unimpeded. The President, in his top-secret mobile submarine headquarters on the ocean floor off the coast of Guam, felt the inconceivably massive explosion, which vaporized poor, stupid Laurie. (Rebecca) This is absurd. I refuse to continue this mockery of literature. My writing partner is a violent, chauvin- istic semi-literate adolescent. Gary) Yeah? Well, my writing partner is a self-centered tedious neurotic whose attempts at writing are the literary equivalent of Valium. Oh, shall I have chamomile tea? Or shall I have some other sort of F-KING TEA??? Oh no, what am I to do? I'm such an air headed bimbo who reads too many Danielle Steele novels!" Gary) B*tch. (Rebecca) F K YOU-YOU NEANDERTHALI In your dreams, Ho. Go drink some tea. A+ Ireally liked this one. epicjohndoe: A Very Good Example Of ‘Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus’
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epicjohndoe: A Very Good Example Of ‘Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus’: Here's a prime example of "Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus" offered by an English professor from the University of Phoenix: The professor told his class one day: Today we will ex- periment with a new form called the tandem story The process is simple. Each person will pair off with the person sitting to his or her immediate right. As home- work tonight, one of you will write the first paragraph of a short story. You will e-mail your partner that para- graph and send another copy to me. The partner will read the first paragraph and then add another para- graph to the story and send it back, also sending an- other copy to me. The first person will then add a third paragraph, and so on back-and-forth. Remember to re-read what has been written each time in order to keep the story coherent. There is to be ab- solutely NO talking outside of the e-mails and any- thing you wish to say must be written in the e-mail. The story is over when both agree a con- clusion has been reached." The following was actually turned in by two of his English students: Rebecca and Gary THE STORY: (first paragraph by Rebecca) At first, Laurie couldn't decide which kind of tea she wanted. The chamomile, which used to be her favorite for lazy evenings at home, now reminded her too much of Carl, who once said, in happier times, that he liked chamomile. But she felt she must now, at all costs, keep her mind off Carl. His possessiveness was suffocating, and if she thought about him too much her asthma started acting up again. So chamomile was out of the second paragraph by Gary) Meanwhile, Advance Sergeant Carl Harris, leader of the attack squadron now in orbit over Skylon 4, had more important things to think about than the neuroses of an air-headed asthmatic bimbo named Laurie with whom he had spent one sweaty night over a year ago. "A.S. Harris to Geostation 17," he said into his transgalactic communicator. " Polar orbit established. No sign of resistance so far..." But before he could sign off a bluish particle beam flashed out of nowhere and blasted a hole through his ship's cargo bay. The jolt from the direct hit sent him flying out of his seat and across the ####pit. (Rebecca) He bumped his head and died almost immediately, but not before he felt one last pang of regret for psychically brutalizing the one woman who had ever had feelings for him. Soon afterwards, Earth stopped its pointless hostilities towards the peace ful farmers of Skylon 4. "Congress Passes Law Per- manently Abolishing War and Space Travel," Laurie read in her newspaper one morning. The news si- multaneously excited her and bored her. She stared out the window, dreaming of her youth, when the days had passed unhurriedly and care- free, with no newspaper to read, no television to distract her from her sense of innocent wonder at all the beautiful things around her. "Why must one lose one's innocence to become a woman?" she pondered wistfully Gary) Little did she know, but she had less than 10 sec- onds to live. Thousands of miles above the city, the Anu'udrian mothership launched the first of its lithium fusion missiles. The dimwitted wimpy peaceniks who pushed the Unilateral Aerospace disarmament Treaty through the congress had left Earth a defenseless target for the hostile alien em- pires who were determined to destroy the human race. Within two hours after the passage of the treaty the Anu'udrian ships were on course for Earth, carrying enough firepower to pulverize the With no one to stop them, they swiftly initiated their diabolical plan. The lithium fusion missile en- tered the atmosphere unimpeded. The President, in his top-secret mobile submarine headquarters on the ocean floor off the coast of Guam, felt the inconceivably massive explosion, which vaporized poor, stupid Laurie. (Rebecca) This is absurd. I refuse to continue this mockery of literature. My writing partner is a violent, chauvin- istic semi-literate adolescent. Gary) Yeah? Well, my writing partner is a self-centered tedious neurotic whose attempts at writing are the literary equivalent of Valium. Oh, shall I have chamomile tea? Or shall I have some other sort of F-KING TEA??? Oh no, what am I to do? I'm such an air headed bimbo who reads too many Danielle Steele novels!" Gary) B*tch. (Rebecca) F K YOU-YOU NEANDERTHALI In your dreams, Ho. Go drink some tea. A+ Ireally liked this one. epicjohndoe: A Very Good Example Of ‘Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus’
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evergreennightmare: red-stick-progressive: aossidhboyee: red-stick-progressive: burdenbasket: gahdamnpunk: This is insane holy fuck, this is A LOT Also that figure is way too low, modern population estimates might be as much as twice that. There were between 25 and 40 million in central Mexico alone, almost as many people in the North Amazon, almost as many in the Andes, and almost as many in the American South. All saw 80 to 99 percent population loss in the period of 2 to 3 generations. The Greater Mississippi River Basin had a population somewhere between 5 and 12 million, the Eastern Woodlands had about as many, about as many in the Central Amazon, and almost as many on the American West Coast and North West Coast respectively. All of which saw 85 to 99 percent population losses in 2 or three generations after the others. Multiple factions if European interests killed all the natives they could and destroyed all the culture and history they could. They were not limited by gender, language, religion, culture, ethnic group, nationality, geography, or time period; just every single person they could. That’s not even genocide, it’s apocalypse. Why are you all omitting the well known fact that it was not purposeful genocide but simply new microbes introduced that no one knew about at that time. Cuz that’s not true. Tw genocide, tw violence When Columbus realized the pigs they brought were getting the Islanders sick he arranged to loose as many as possible ahead of them primarily into the Benne region, I believe. Cortez loaded sickened corpses into Tenochtitlan’s aqueducts, Spain deliberately targeted the priests of Mexican society first because they knew it would severely undermine the public ability to treat disease. When the post Incan city states developed a treatment for malaria, the Spanish deliberately targeted the cities producing the quinine treatment and made it illegal to sell it to non-christians. The Spanish took all the sick and forced them at sword-point to go back to their homes instead of to the sick houses or the temples throughout the new world, and forced anyone who wasn’t sick to work in the mines or the coin factories melting and pressing their cultural treasures down into Spanish coins. The English were just as bad, they started the smallpox blankets. A lot of the loss was not deliberate infections like this but it was preventable at a million different crossroads and every European culture took the opportunity to weaponize the plagues when they could. They knew what they were doing, just cuz they didn’t know what germs were doesn’t mean they have some accidental relationship with it. Alexander the great used biological warfare after all, so it’s not like you can pretend the concept was alien to them, they wrote about it. Besides they did plenty of old fashioned killing too, there were Spanish conquistadors that estimated their own personal, individual killings might have numbered over the ten thousands. They were sure they’d killed more than ten million in “New Spain” alone. They crucified people they smashed babies on the rocks, they set fire to buildings they forced women and children into and cooked their meals over the burning corpses, they loosed war dogs on people. They sold children into sex slavery to be raped by disease riddled pedos back in Europe and if taking their virginity didn’t cure the sick creeps the native children would be killed or sometimes sent back. The English were just as bad, shooting children in front of their mothers and forcing them to mop their blood with their hair. Turning human scalps into currency. Feeding babies to dogs in front of their mothers and fathers. Killing whole villages and erasing them from their maps so that historians would think God had made it empty just for the English. The Americans after them burned crops and drove several species of bison to extinction just to starve the plains tribes. They pushed the blankets too. On top of the wars of extermination and scalp hunting and concentration and laws defining natives as non-persons so that we’d never be protected by the Constitution. And even if you wanna live in some dreamy fairytale where God just made a whoopsie and then there were no natives left, nobody forced them to erase our history. The Spanish burned every document they found to erase the literacy and literary tradition of the Central and South Americans. There are essentially three Aztec documents left and some excavated pottery, and some archeological inscriptions and that’s it. The single most advanced culture in math and anatomical medicine erased probably forever. Same to the Inca, the most advanced fiber and alloy engineers and economists gone forever. Nobody made them do that. Nobody forced the American colonizers to steal political technology and act like they invented democracy or sovereignty. Nobody forced them to build their cities on top of native ones and erase them from history forever. Baltimore was built on Chesapeake, which translates roughly to “city at the top of the great water” in most Algonquin tongues. My favorite example is Cumberland in Western MD, they didn’t even reshape the roads or anything, they paved the steps and walking paths natives had used for hundreds of years and now it’s almost impossible to drive cuz the streets are too narrow or steep. The culture that built them didn’t have horses. Phoenix AZ, called Phoenix cuz the settlers literally found an old city and “brought it back to life.” Did they save any history or cultural artifacts? No. Most cities on the east coast are like this. Nobody forced them to erase that history. Colonizers are not innocent just cuz the germs did a lot of the work of the apocalypse. (tlaxcallān had a democratic form of government) : CW CNN @CNN Follow European colonizers killed so many Native Americans that it changed the global climate, researchers say cnn.it/2DR3W1C 8:00 PM -2 Feb 2019 924 Retweets 1,321 Likes SULLDHONHS Sophia Chang Follow @sophchang "European settlers killed 56 million indigenous people over about 100 years..." 56 million. It took a long time for me to process that figure CNN @CNN European colonizers killed so many Native Americans that it changed the global climate, researchers say cnn.it/2DR3W1c 9:45 AM -3 Feb 2019 1,872 Retweets 2,388 Likes Follow @RadRoopa Replying to @sophchang And to think, the world population in 1900 was only 1.5 billion compared to today's 7.5 billion I don't know what the world pop was like in 1500 but 56 millions would've been a HUGE percentage of that. That astronomical number is definitely hard to process 9:25 PM - 3 Feb 2019 Follow @RadRoopa Replying to @RadRoopa @sophchang I just looked it up and the world pop in 1600 was about 570 million. They wiped out TEN PERCENT of the world's population. That's the equivalent of 750 million ppl today. Whoa 9:50 PM - 3 Feb 2019 evergreennightmare: red-stick-progressive: aossidhboyee: red-stick-progressive: burdenbasket: gahdamnpunk: This is insane holy fuck, this is A LOT Also that figure is way too low, modern population estimates might be as much as twice that. There were between 25 and 40 million in central Mexico alone, almost as many people in the North Amazon, almost as many in the Andes, and almost as many in the American South. All saw 80 to 99 percent population loss in the period of 2 to 3 generations. The Greater Mississippi River Basin had a population somewhere between 5 and 12 million, the Eastern Woodlands had about as many, about as many in the Central Amazon, and almost as many on the American West Coast and North West Coast respectively. All of which saw 85 to 99 percent population losses in 2 or three generations after the others. Multiple factions if European interests killed all the natives they could and destroyed all the culture and history they could. They were not limited by gender, language, religion, culture, ethnic group, nationality, geography, or time period; just every single person they could. That’s not even genocide, it’s apocalypse. Why are you all omitting the well known fact that it was not purposeful genocide but simply new microbes introduced that no one knew about at that time. Cuz that’s not true. Tw genocide, tw violence When Columbus realized the pigs they brought were getting the Islanders sick he arranged to loose as many as possible ahead of them primarily into the Benne region, I believe. Cortez loaded sickened corpses into Tenochtitlan’s aqueducts, Spain deliberately targeted the priests of Mexican society first because they knew it would severely undermine the public ability to treat disease. When the post Incan city states developed a treatment for malaria, the Spanish deliberately targeted the cities producing the quinine treatment and made it illegal to sell it to non-christians. The Spanish took all the sick and forced them at sword-point to go back to their homes instead of to the sick houses or the temples throughout the new world, and forced anyone who wasn’t sick to work in the mines or the coin factories melting and pressing their cultural treasures down into Spanish coins. The English were just as bad, they started the smallpox blankets. A lot of the loss was not deliberate infections like this but it was preventable at a million different crossroads and every European culture took the opportunity to weaponize the plagues when they could. They knew what they were doing, just cuz they didn’t know what germs were doesn’t mean they have some accidental relationship with it. Alexander the great used biological warfare after all, so it’s not like you can pretend the concept was alien to them, they wrote about it. Besides they did plenty of old fashioned killing too, there were Spanish conquistadors that estimated their own personal, individual killings might have numbered over the ten thousands. They were sure they’d killed more than ten million in “New Spain” alone. They crucified people they smashed babies on the rocks, they set fire to buildings they forced women and children into and cooked their meals over the burning corpses, they loosed war dogs on people. They sold children into sex slavery to be raped by disease riddled pedos back in Europe and if taking their virginity didn’t cure the sick creeps the native children would be killed or sometimes sent back. The English were just as bad, shooting children in front of their mothers and forcing them to mop their blood with their hair. Turning human scalps into currency. Feeding babies to dogs in front of their mothers and fathers. Killing whole villages and erasing them from their maps so that historians would think God had made it empty just for the English. The Americans after them burned crops and drove several species of bison to extinction just to starve the plains tribes. They pushed the blankets too. On top of the wars of extermination and scalp hunting and concentration and laws defining natives as non-persons so that we’d never be protected by the Constitution. And even if you wanna live in some dreamy fairytale where God just made a whoopsie and then there were no natives left, nobody forced them to erase our history. The Spanish burned every document they found to erase the literacy and literary tradition of the Central and South Americans. There are essentially three Aztec documents left and some excavated pottery, and some archeological inscriptions and that’s it. The single most advanced culture in math and anatomical medicine erased probably forever. Same to the Inca, the most advanced fiber and alloy engineers and economists gone forever. Nobody made them do that. Nobody forced the American colonizers to steal political technology and act like they invented democracy or sovereignty. Nobody forced them to build their cities on top of native ones and erase them from history forever. Baltimore was built on Chesapeake, which translates roughly to “city at the top of the great water” in most Algonquin tongues. My favorite example is Cumberland in Western MD, they didn’t even reshape the roads or anything, they paved the steps and walking paths natives had used for hundreds of years and now it’s almost impossible to drive cuz the streets are too narrow or steep. The culture that built them didn’t have horses. Phoenix AZ, called Phoenix cuz the settlers literally found an old city and “brought it back to life.” Did they save any history or cultural artifacts? No. Most cities on the east coast are like this. Nobody forced them to erase that history. Colonizers are not innocent just cuz the germs did a lot of the work of the apocalypse. (tlaxcallān had a democratic form of government)
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thebibliosphere: doebarnes: mugsandpugs: jottingprosaist: shredsandpatches: hedwig-dordt: naznomad: martingoresangst: Thats the weirdest erotic sentence i’ve read all month this fucking post singlehandedly ruined my life You don’t really appreciate how fucking great fan fic is when it comes to writing sex untill you stop to recognise how Serious Literary Stars fail at writing sex. DO A BARREL ROLL #in all my years of reading fic i have never encountered a sentence this terrible #did he just say that his dick smacked EVERY MUSCLE in her body except you know her vagina? #like I'MMA SMACK YOU IN THE CHEEK I'MMA SMACK YOU IN THE SHOULDER I'MMA SMACK YOU IN THE CALF #what is your dick doing?? #how do you think sex works morrissey?? Forget what his dick is doing, what are her breasts doing? How do a pair of fat sacks attached to a ribcage barrel-roll anywhere? Let alone across a man’s mouth and then his wanger immediately after? Sir, why is your mouth so dong-adjacent? Is your weiner detachable, is that it? Do you have your joystick clutched in your hand so that you can score a sweet schlong-to-titty-roll immediately after a kiss and then proceed to beat your banana all over her body in the world’s most failed attempt at erotic massage??? HOW DO YOU THINK SEX WORKS??? … guys ….. Are the sex scenes in My Immortal better than this?“HE PUT HIS THINGY IN MY YOU-KNOW-WHAT AND WE HAD SEX.” … I mean. Comparatively… Like, in My Immortal, it’s at least implied he knows where he’s supposed to put it. It’s very simplistic, Ikea-style sex (insert tab A into slot B) but that’s better than this vague, useless composition of random, nonsensical placement and movement of body parts. So yes, the sex in My Immortal is, in this sense, better. @goddessemily   was it this post? : People Can't Handle The Way Morrissey Describes A Boner In His Novel A bulbous salutation to you all. posted on Sept. 24, 2015, at 9:52 a.m Alan White BuzzFeed News Reporter, UK So, during a sex scene in Morrissey's recently published novel List of the Lost, this happens. Eliza's breasts barrel-rolled across Ezra's howling mouth and the pained frenzy of his bulbous salutation extenuating his excitement as it smacked its way into every muscle of Eliza's body except for the otherwise central zone." 03 thebibliosphere: doebarnes: mugsandpugs: jottingprosaist: shredsandpatches: hedwig-dordt: naznomad: martingoresangst: Thats the weirdest erotic sentence i’ve read all month this fucking post singlehandedly ruined my life You don’t really appreciate how fucking great fan fic is when it comes to writing sex untill you stop to recognise how Serious Literary Stars fail at writing sex. DO A BARREL ROLL #in all my years of reading fic i have never encountered a sentence this terrible #did he just say that his dick smacked EVERY MUSCLE in her body except you know her vagina? #like I'MMA SMACK YOU IN THE CHEEK I'MMA SMACK YOU IN THE SHOULDER I'MMA SMACK YOU IN THE CALF #what is your dick doing?? #how do you think sex works morrissey?? Forget what his dick is doing, what are her breasts doing? How do a pair of fat sacks attached to a ribcage barrel-roll anywhere? Let alone across a man’s mouth and then his wanger immediately after? Sir, why is your mouth so dong-adjacent? Is your weiner detachable, is that it? Do you have your joystick clutched in your hand so that you can score a sweet schlong-to-titty-roll immediately after a kiss and then proceed to beat your banana all over her body in the world’s most failed attempt at erotic massage??? HOW DO YOU THINK SEX WORKS??? … guys ….. Are the sex scenes in My Immortal better than this?“HE PUT HIS THINGY IN MY YOU-KNOW-WHAT AND WE HAD SEX.” … I mean. Comparatively… Like, in My Immortal, it’s at least implied he knows where he’s supposed to put it. It’s very simplistic, Ikea-style sex (insert tab A into slot B) but that’s better than this vague, useless composition of random, nonsensical placement and movement of body parts. So yes, the sex in My Immortal is, in this sense, better. @goddessemily   was it this post?
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Literary: Anonymous 01/23/19(Wed)04:49:15 No.12460541 insisted on knowing why my three- chapter submission to a literary agent was rejected >his assistant finally responded telling me the book was "overly fetishistic and lacked any kind of nuance or relationship with reality" 7 KB PNG asked her if I could edit what l'd sent them and submit it again with minor changes no response How do you even appeal to literary agents in this day and age? l he entire industry seems so rgged against anvbody with any originality or capacity for sincere expression :Anonymous 01/23/19(Wed)06:04:43 No.12460726 >>12460704 # A novel from the perspective of a boy who is crushed in his father's concrete plant and turns into a paving stone. It is his journey from there into the city where he observes a great many things as he observes the changes in the area where he is laid along a stretch of pavement, e.g romances, break ups, quarrels, gentrification etc. He learns to deal with people dropping chewing gum and cigarette butts onto him, and struggles emotionally when the street becomes run-down and more heavy-footed unkind people trample over him day and night. The story ends on a positive note, as he is transported to a seafront and reset on the pavement adjoining a beach, where barefoot girls and so on walk on him instead, making him happier and turning him into a man, so to speak. >>12460735 # >>12460736 # >>12460748 # >>12460752 # >>12460760 # >>12460789 # >>12460960 # >>12461047 # >>12461111 # >>12461154 # >>12461186 # >>12461234 # >>12461271 # >>12461440 # >>12461492 # >>12461521 # >>12461537 # >>12461627
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epicjohndoe: A Very Good Example Of ‘Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus’: Here's a prime example of "Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus" offered by an English professor from the University of Phoenix: The professor told his class one day: Today we will ex- periment with a new form called the tandem story The process is simple. Each person will pair off with the person sitting to his or her immediate right. As home- work tonight, one of you will write the first paragraph of a short story. You will e-mail your partner that para- graph and send another copy to me. The partner will read the first paragraph and then add another para- graph to the story and send it back, also sending an- other copy to me. The first person will then add a third paragraph, and so on back-and-forth. Remember to re-read what has been written each time in order to keep the story coherent. There is to be ab- solutely NO talking outside of the e-mails and any- thing you wish to say must be written in the e-mail. The story is over when both agree a con- clusion has been reached." The following was actually turned in by two of his English students: Rebecca and Gary THE STORY: (first paragraph by Rebecca) At first, Laurie couldn't decide which kind of tea she wanted. The chamomile, which used to be her favorite for lazy evenings at home, now reminded her too much of Carl, who once said, in happier times, that he liked chamomile. But she felt she must now, at all costs, keep her mind off Carl. His possessiveness was suffocating, and if she thought about him too much her asthma started acting up again. So chamomile was out of the second paragraph by Gary) Meanwhile, Advance Sergeant Carl Harris, leader of the attack squadron now in orbit over Skylon 4, had more important things to think about than the neuroses of an air-headed asthmatic bimbo named Laurie with whom he had spent one sweaty night over a year ago. "A.S. Harris to Geostation 17," he said into his transgalactic communicator. " Polar orbit established. No sign of resistance so far..." But before he could sign off a bluish particle beam flashed out of nowhere and blasted a hole through his ship's cargo bay. The jolt from the direct hit sent him flying out of his seat and across the ####pit. (Rebecca) He bumped his head and died almost immediately, but not before he felt one last pang of regret for psychically brutalizing the one woman who had ever had feelings for him. Soon afterwards, Earth stopped its pointless hostilities towards the peace ful farmers of Skylon 4. "Congress Passes Law Per- manently Abolishing War and Space Travel," Laurie read in her newspaper one morning. The news si- multaneously excited her and bored her. She stared out the window, dreaming of her youth, when the days had passed unhurriedly and care- free, with no newspaper to read, no television to distract her from her sense of innocent wonder at all the beautiful things around her. "Why must one lose one's innocence to become a woman?" she pondered wistfully Gary) Little did she know, but she had less than 10 sec- onds to live. Thousands of miles above the city, the Anu'udrian mothership launched the first of its lithium fusion missiles. The dimwitted wimpy peaceniks who pushed the Unilateral Aerospace disarmament Treaty through the congress had left Earth a defenseless target for the hostile alien em- pires who were determined to destroy the human race. Within two hours after the passage of the treaty the Anu'udrian ships were on course for Earth, carrying enough firepower to pulverize the With no one to stop them, they swiftly initiated their diabolical plan. The lithium fusion missile en- tered the atmosphere unimpeded. The President, in his top-secret mobile submarine headquarters on the ocean floor off the coast of Guam, felt the inconceivably massive explosion, which vaporized poor, stupid Laurie. (Rebecca) This is absurd. I refuse to continue this mockery of literature. My writing partner is a violent, chauvin- istic semi-literate adolescent. Gary) Yeah? Well, my writing partner is a self-centered tedious neurotic whose attempts at writing are the literary equivalent of Valium. Oh, shall I have chamomile tea? Or shall I have some other sort of F-KING TEA??? Oh no, what am I to do? I'm such an air headed bimbo who reads too many Danielle Steele novels!" Gary) B*tch. (Rebecca) F K YOU-YOU NEANDERTHALI In your dreams, Ho. Go drink some tea. A+ Ireally liked this one. epicjohndoe: A Very Good Example Of ‘Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus’
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garrettauthor: raedmagdon: thefingerfuckingfemalefury: brookietf: thefingerfuckingfemalefury: androxibot: an-old-school-butch: eazzy–pink: curseworm: saxifraga-x-urbium: lord-kitschener: That headline was a wild adventure from start to finish. the bad sex awards are my favourite literary prize tho i dont want to live anymore Her pussy tasted like anchovies and her butthole smelled like tobacco. This is what straight men think is sexy and erotic. If this man is married I feel so so SO sorry for his wife… I had to put down my phone and walk around the room to calm down. If I had to see this Monstrous Crime then you all have to suffer with me LMAO S I N IF I HAVE TO SEEE THIS HORROR SO DO YOU. DON’T NOBODY EVER COMPLAIN ABOUT MY SMUT AGAIN. I guess we’re all spreading the fucking misery today. : The Independent Bad Sex Award is 'idiotic', says angry author nominated for scene where food critic sucks brie off wet nurse's nipple http://ind.pn/MMG68T garrettauthor: raedmagdon: thefingerfuckingfemalefury: brookietf: thefingerfuckingfemalefury: androxibot: an-old-school-butch: eazzy–pink: curseworm: saxifraga-x-urbium: lord-kitschener: That headline was a wild adventure from start to finish. the bad sex awards are my favourite literary prize tho i dont want to live anymore Her pussy tasted like anchovies and her butthole smelled like tobacco. This is what straight men think is sexy and erotic. If this man is married I feel so so SO sorry for his wife… I had to put down my phone and walk around the room to calm down. If I had to see this Monstrous Crime then you all have to suffer with me LMAO S I N IF I HAVE TO SEEE THIS HORROR SO DO YOU. DON’T NOBODY EVER COMPLAIN ABOUT MY SMUT AGAIN. I guess we’re all spreading the fucking misery today.
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Reminder that a book on romance with a bear won the highest Literary Award in Canada: I'm dubious. I should read a passage XVII "Bear," she cried. "I off." The bear did not, but her menstrual fever made him more assiduous. She was half afraid of him, but drunk and weak for danger. She took his thick fur that skidded in her hands, trying to get a grip on his loose hide, but when she went deeper into it she encountered further depth, her short nails slipped. love you. Pull my head She cradled his big, furry, assymetrical balls in her hands, she played with them, slip- ping them gently inside their cases as he licked. 129 It is a literal bear. Okay yeah I'll admit it I'm going to read this but only because it sounds like the most fucked up romance novel in existence But wait.... A CANADIAN BESTSELLER You have some explaining to do, Canada. You guys don't understand. Screw it being a bestseller, 50 Shades of Gray is a bestseller, That's the pulitzer prize of Canadian literature. Bear is a part of Canadian literary history rGeneral's Award. That's the highest literary award in Canada HOLY MOLY i had to read this book in uni for my first year Canadian literature class. When we first heard of it we were like, "Oh the Bear's a metaphor or some shit." but then one kid read ahead, and was like "Guys, no, she literally fucks the bear. She fucked a bear." I think this needs to go on my list of books to review Reminder that a book on romance with a bear won the highest Literary Award in Canada
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Hmm, thy bosoms heart beats no more. YEET!: probablyvampirerpgideas Make a Vampire character who's lived through several waves of the common language's development and can't let go if certain gramatical habbits from different time eras So like, thou ist a horrid creature, an absolute cur, but go off i guess anachronistic-cat .. can i use that phrase irl? probablyvampirerpgideas Absolutely you can and I encourage more uses of similar phrases that just completely fuck up the chronology of the english langauge. I wanna hear 15th century english mixed with surfer speak mixed with current age nternet lingo like all the time the-argumentative-viper Like this? Well my dude, seems like a weasel hath not such a deal of splean as you're toss'd with. Chill already, you're not valid nuttersincorporated You are an unrighteous, basardly gullion. Heaven truly knows that thou art false as hell. When you die, I will face God and walk backwards into hell just so that I can beat your ass in the afterlife too fromthemindofatwentyorotherlycan I love the idea of a vampire who's language travels back in time as they get pissed take-a-dip-in-the-deadpool grieve for thee in these trying times. Alexa play Despacito sleepyamericanteen Reading these is like literary whiplash kyraneko Thou'rt a base and unhappy drama-fucker and I would yeet you out the nearest window for a donut. rickktish Bestill thy mongrel tongue and shut your face ere I unhappy thot do yeet thee hence!! I'll not hesitate, bitch, to do thee in whomst ruinest mine pizza with thine vape Source: probablyvampirerpgideas Hmm, thy bosoms heart beats no more. YEET!
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charliehadalittlewolf: tuhhveit: elsiesmarina: themightyquinn666: sorry everyone Excuse me. One of the first women to start her own independent production company. Earned her way to stardom without sleeping with executives for roles. Refused to date people for publicity just because 20th Century Fox wanted her to. Left 20th Century Fox because she refused to let them get away with treating her badly and paying her a tiny wage, just because of her “dumb blonde” image. Was only paid a fraction of her co-star’s wage even though she was the star of the movies and the biggest box office pull, but still went ahead with the movies because she was so passionate about acting. Studied method acting at the Actors Studio with Lee Strasberg, who said that she was one of his best students along with Marlon Brando. Had a personal library of over 500 books and rarely read fiction - she was desperate to learn and educate herself. Was sexually abused as a child but then went on to encourage the sexual liberation of women in the 1950s.  One of the first people to speak openly about sexual abuse. One of the first people to openly support gay rights. Supported many charities such as the Milk Fund, March of Dimes, Arthritis and Rheumatism foundation. Donated her time and money to these charities. Visited orphanages and hospitals on her own time to surprise the people there. Married one of the greatest literary minds of the 20th century Suffered two miscarriages and one ectopic pregnancy and still put on a brave face for her fans. Sorry, did you say she wasn’t a role model?  marilyn is my biggest role model so don’t even go there and let’s not forget this Ella Fitzgerald was not allowed to play at the popular Mocambo, in Hollywood, because of her race. Marilyn, who loved her music and supported civil rights, called the owner of the Mocambo and told him that if he booked Ella immediately, she would take a front table every night. The owner said yes, and Marilyn was there, front table, every night. After that, Ella never had to play in a small jazz club again. “She was an unusual woman – a little ahead of her times. And she didn’t know it.“ - Ella Fitzgerald about Marilyn Monroe : mode charliehadalittlewolf: tuhhveit: elsiesmarina: themightyquinn666: sorry everyone Excuse me. One of the first women to start her own independent production company. Earned her way to stardom without sleeping with executives for roles. Refused to date people for publicity just because 20th Century Fox wanted her to. Left 20th Century Fox because she refused to let them get away with treating her badly and paying her a tiny wage, just because of her “dumb blonde” image. Was only paid a fraction of her co-star’s wage even though she was the star of the movies and the biggest box office pull, but still went ahead with the movies because she was so passionate about acting. Studied method acting at the Actors Studio with Lee Strasberg, who said that she was one of his best students along with Marlon Brando. Had a personal library of over 500 books and rarely read fiction - she was desperate to learn and educate herself. Was sexually abused as a child but then went on to encourage the sexual liberation of women in the 1950s.  One of the first people to speak openly about sexual abuse. One of the first people to openly support gay rights. Supported many charities such as the Milk Fund, March of Dimes, Arthritis and Rheumatism foundation. Donated her time and money to these charities. Visited orphanages and hospitals on her own time to surprise the people there. Married one of the greatest literary minds of the 20th century Suffered two miscarriages and one ectopic pregnancy and still put on a brave face for her fans. Sorry, did you say she wasn’t a role model?  marilyn is my biggest role model so don’t even go there and let’s not forget this Ella Fitzgerald was not allowed to play at the popular Mocambo, in Hollywood, because of her race. Marilyn, who loved her music and supported civil rights, called the owner of the Mocambo and told him that if he booked Ella immediately, she would take a front table every night. The owner said yes, and Marilyn was there, front table, every night. After that, Ella never had to play in a small jazz club again. “She was an unusual woman – a little ahead of her times. And she didn’t know it.“ - Ella Fitzgerald about Marilyn Monroe

charliehadalittlewolf: tuhhveit: elsiesmarina: themightyquinn666: sorry everyone Excuse me. One of the first women to start her own...

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toadscools: perfectlygenericblog: toadscools: i dont know how to explain this but. this might be me. i had a brown hoodie exactly like that. the phone on the table? i had a black and white case like that when i was like 12. my middle school’s classrooms looked like that. this literally might be a picture of me in 7th grade, shoveling pasta directly from a ziploc bag into my mouth like some sort of goblin, reblogged by twelve thousand people on the worst website known to mankind. and i dont know how to deal with this What’s interesting here is that there’s only a possibility that this is them in the picture. This means one of two things: 1) They remember doing this, but believe it to be so commonplace that it could be literally anyone in that photo. Like if you saw a picture of someone reading a book, you wouldn’t be like “Hey, I read a book once! That must be me in that picture!” because lots of people have read books. In this case, I bet their belief is based on personal experience. Perhaps there’s a town out there where people regularly eat pasta from a bag in class. Or even a secret society of such people living all over the globe. 2) They don’t remember doing this, but they’ve done so many bizarre (yet still extremely relatable) things that this could very well be one of them. This wasn’t the most noteworthy thing that happened to them that week. There were so many other, stranger, bigger things going on that they did remember, and this event simply wasn’t important enough to commit to memory. In this case, they’re just out there living their life. Society told them “don’t eat pasta from a ziploc bag in class”, but did they let that stop them? No. They have bigger fish to fry. i’ve never been fucking obliterated like this before. i dont know what to do. how do i go on when @perfectlygenericblog produced a fucking literary analysis of my life, wholly accurate, from one picture and my reaction to it. i’m getting this tattooed on my forearm : toadscools: perfectlygenericblog: toadscools: i dont know how to explain this but. this might be me. i had a brown hoodie exactly like that. the phone on the table? i had a black and white case like that when i was like 12. my middle school’s classrooms looked like that. this literally might be a picture of me in 7th grade, shoveling pasta directly from a ziploc bag into my mouth like some sort of goblin, reblogged by twelve thousand people on the worst website known to mankind. and i dont know how to deal with this What’s interesting here is that there’s only a possibility that this is them in the picture. This means one of two things: 1) They remember doing this, but believe it to be so commonplace that it could be literally anyone in that photo. Like if you saw a picture of someone reading a book, you wouldn’t be like “Hey, I read a book once! That must be me in that picture!” because lots of people have read books. In this case, I bet their belief is based on personal experience. Perhaps there’s a town out there where people regularly eat pasta from a bag in class. Or even a secret society of such people living all over the globe. 2) They don’t remember doing this, but they’ve done so many bizarre (yet still extremely relatable) things that this could very well be one of them. This wasn’t the most noteworthy thing that happened to them that week. There were so many other, stranger, bigger things going on that they did remember, and this event simply wasn’t important enough to commit to memory. In this case, they’re just out there living their life. Society told them “don’t eat pasta from a ziploc bag in class”, but did they let that stop them? No. They have bigger fish to fry. i’ve never been fucking obliterated like this before. i dont know what to do. how do i go on when @perfectlygenericblog produced a fucking literary analysis of my life, wholly accurate, from one picture and my reaction to it. i’m getting this tattooed on my forearm
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ninety6tears: roguetelemetry: nekoama: prokopetz: ultrafacts: bryarly: foxfairy5: ultrafacts: Source More Facts Yes this could have to do with the fact that Freya the Norse Goddess of love, beauty and fertility drove a chariot pulled by cats. So, if I ever get married, I fully expect a catmobile.  One of the other reasons why they gave cats to each other was for their valuable skills as mousers. Cats were able to control rodent populations around their properties. Also, Norse myths are thought to have the earliest literary descriptions of the Norwegian Forest Cat. They were described as large, strong cats that drew Freya’s chariot and were so heavy that not even Thor, God of Thunder, could lift them from the floor. (Source) They kinda live up to the legend, too. Your average Norwegian Forest Cat is twenty pounds of solid muscle, with claws large and strong enough to climb solid rock. They’ve been known to attack bears when defending their territory. And yet they’re one of the cuddliest breeds out there, particularly noted for being patient with small children. I have a Norwegian mix, and can attest that she is the cuddliest cat but also insane enough to try and fight a bear. Viking cats “FIGHT ME” Whosoever holds this hammer, if he be worthy, still could not lift this cat. : The Vikings would give kittens to newlywed brides as an essential part of a new household. Ultrafacts.tumblr.com ninety6tears: roguetelemetry: nekoama: prokopetz: ultrafacts: bryarly: foxfairy5: ultrafacts: Source More Facts Yes this could have to do with the fact that Freya the Norse Goddess of love, beauty and fertility drove a chariot pulled by cats. So, if I ever get married, I fully expect a catmobile.  One of the other reasons why they gave cats to each other was for their valuable skills as mousers. Cats were able to control rodent populations around their properties. Also, Norse myths are thought to have the earliest literary descriptions of the Norwegian Forest Cat. They were described as large, strong cats that drew Freya’s chariot and were so heavy that not even Thor, God of Thunder, could lift them from the floor. (Source) They kinda live up to the legend, too. Your average Norwegian Forest Cat is twenty pounds of solid muscle, with claws large and strong enough to climb solid rock. They’ve been known to attack bears when defending their territory. And yet they’re one of the cuddliest breeds out there, particularly noted for being patient with small children. I have a Norwegian mix, and can attest that she is the cuddliest cat but also insane enough to try and fight a bear. Viking cats “FIGHT ME” Whosoever holds this hammer, if he be worthy, still could not lift this cat.

ninety6tears: roguetelemetry: nekoama: prokopetz: ultrafacts: bryarly: foxfairy5: ultrafacts: Source More Facts Yes this coul...

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Apparently not ready for the literary critique: Hi Morning Your holiday Monday off to a good start? Monday 09:15 Yes nice what r u looking for on tinder Monday 12:13 Nothing specific. I'm not around for long Monday 18:15 Ok Today 06:20 I feel the hunger on foreign skin, wants to absorb the scent of foreign skin, I want to drill my teeth into your flesh Draw marks on my skin with my nails. I want to feel how you give yourself to me, how you become soft and yielding, deliver you, just feel, just give, until you melt helpless in my arms I want to drink you empty like a sweet fruit, absorb your pain and moans into me Take heat and give it. Playing on your nipples, until your moans penetrate my ear like a beautiful melody. l want to touch, dominate, explore to the last corner of your soul And then start over. Slowly. Persevering. Relish I let your soul slip through my hands, shape and encourage you Protect you. I will kiss your tears away. Find you nice. Over and over again Today 07:49 Today 08:21 ....huh? When was ur last sex Today 09:32 I'm very confused about the turn this conversation has taken I thought you were looking for feedback on your....poetry. Or whatever that was Did u read the poem? I did. Are you looking for constructive feedback? Sent GIF Type a message... I did. Are you looking for constructive feedback? I am lookin for a feedback about what u feel it u like it Well, some of your metaphors are a little off. l'd also look at breaking out the old thesaurus the use of 'foreign skin' twice in two lines and 'moans' twice in one stanza could do with changing up. Also, beginning stanzas 2,3 & 4 with 'l want' is a good device, but you need to carry it through to the rest of the stanzas for it to really be effective Also very unsure on the find you nice' line All together it's a good beginning effort Sent GIF Type a message.. Do u like this type of sex Surely the sex in the poem is a metaphor for death though? It's not intended to be read literally as a sex act Do u read the dominant part? Yes, I want to touch [... last corner of your soul' - death is the ultimate dominator, and through the end of life manages to reach through to the very ends of our souls There is a feeling of rebirth, new life in this stanza though 'and then start over [...] persevering Maybe this is more about loss and finding oneself again than it is about death Sent GIF Type a message.. Do u like domiant men? The world is full of dominant men and it doesn't seem to be working so well for it Sent Type a message GIF .. Apparently not ready for the literary critique
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<p><a href="https://more-snatched-photos.tumblr.com/post/172358455290/libertarirynn-these-days-theres-a-media-uproar" class="tumblr_blog">more-snatched-photos</a>:</p> <blockquote><p><a href="https://libertarirynn.tumblr.com/post/172358221109/these-days-theres-a-media-uproar-if-disney-does" class="tumblr_blog">libertarirynn</a>:</p> <blockquote><p>These days there’s a media uproar if Disney does the slightest taboo thing but 80s/90s kids remember how The Great Mouse Detective contained drugged alcohol, a bar fight, and a straight up striptease.</p></blockquote> <p>Burlesque is not a strip tease per se.</p></blockquote> <p>bur·lesque</p><p>ˌbərˈlesk/</p><p>noun</p><p>1.</p><p>an absurd or comically exaggerated imitation of something, especially in a literary or dramatic work; a parody.</p><p>&ldquo;the funniest burlesque of opera&rdquo;</p><p>synonyms: parody, caricature, satire, lampoon, skit, farce; More</p><p>2.</p><p><b>a variety show, typically including striptease.</b></p><p>&ldquo;burlesque clubs&rdquo;</p>: <p><a href="https://more-snatched-photos.tumblr.com/post/172358455290/libertarirynn-these-days-theres-a-media-uproar" class="tumblr_blog">more-snatched-photos</a>:</p> <blockquote><p><a href="https://libertarirynn.tumblr.com/post/172358221109/these-days-theres-a-media-uproar-if-disney-does" class="tumblr_blog">libertarirynn</a>:</p> <blockquote><p>These days there’s a media uproar if Disney does the slightest taboo thing but 80s/90s kids remember how The Great Mouse Detective contained drugged alcohol, a bar fight, and a straight up striptease.</p></blockquote> <p>Burlesque is not a strip tease per se.</p></blockquote> <p>bur·lesque</p><p>ˌbərˈlesk/</p><p>noun</p><p>1.</p><p>an absurd or comically exaggerated imitation of something, especially in a literary or dramatic work; a parody.</p><p>&ldquo;the funniest burlesque of opera&rdquo;</p><p>synonyms: parody, caricature, satire, lampoon, skit, farce; More</p><p>2.</p><p><b>a variety show, typically including striptease.</b></p><p>&ldquo;burlesque clubs&rdquo;</p>
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People ask me “aye smash what’s your type? What do u like in a girl?” Simple - I ain’t got no type. Anyone who says I do is lyin 🦁. I mean obviously from the captions u can see that there are things I like (skretch marks...above the booty dimples...thunderous thighs 🤤 lemme stop before I get hot and bothered.) But that don’t mean I don’t like thin women. I love them too. Equally. Girl if u don’t bring ya bony lil sensual grasshopper lookin a$$ and sit on this lap ol stick figure a$$ lmao wyd tho hangman lookin a$$ u cute tho lol handful of toothpicks with good hair lookin a$$ baby stop crying I’m playin with u why u gotta punch me ol legend of the slenderman lookin a$$ baby...baby why u choking me...baby? I kinda like this keep going HAHAHAHA LEMME STOP. Anyway like I said I ain’t got no type. Thicky thicc or slenderwomanous u all splendiferous. And that’s how I feel about doggies. I ain’t got no type. I understand people like different things. I don’t even blame people who go to breeders like I got close friends that’s done it and I’m not about to lecture anybody - they want a certain retriever or husky good for them. I don’t like puppy mills in my heart but I don’t judge. But as for me bruv a ratty lil mix breed rescue dog with a high pitch bark that sound like a child aggressively coughing? With them lil ass legs that allow him or her to run 700 miles per hour bruv? I love a crazy lil rescue mutt bruv he beautiful to me. But most important YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL FOR ADOPTING HIM OR HER - U A HERO. NOT A SMALL HERO BUT A BIG HERO - BLESS U - U WONDERFUL 😍❤️ [Editor’s Note: The reference to choking was made in jest and was merely intended to create literary interest. The author is from the hood. Consequently, I have built-in danger sensors. Wrap your hands around my throat and squeeze and u gon catcheth this fade. It be the petite lil joints that always wanna scrap too - don’t none of u lil grasshoppers DM me like “let me choke u zaddy ☺️” Imma leave u on ‘Seent’ ON PRINCIPLE. BLESS YA TINY LIL A$$ UP 😂😂😂]: First night at home from the shelter. Reddit u/towntown1337 @DrSmashlove People ask me “aye smash what’s your type? What do u like in a girl?” Simple - I ain’t got no type. Anyone who says I do is lyin 🦁. I mean obviously from the captions u can see that there are things I like (skretch marks...above the booty dimples...thunderous thighs 🤤 lemme stop before I get hot and bothered.) But that don’t mean I don’t like thin women. I love them too. Equally. Girl if u don’t bring ya bony lil sensual grasshopper lookin a$$ and sit on this lap ol stick figure a$$ lmao wyd tho hangman lookin a$$ u cute tho lol handful of toothpicks with good hair lookin a$$ baby stop crying I’m playin with u why u gotta punch me ol legend of the slenderman lookin a$$ baby...baby why u choking me...baby? I kinda like this keep going HAHAHAHA LEMME STOP. Anyway like I said I ain’t got no type. Thicky thicc or slenderwomanous u all splendiferous. And that’s how I feel about doggies. I ain’t got no type. I understand people like different things. I don’t even blame people who go to breeders like I got close friends that’s done it and I’m not about to lecture anybody - they want a certain retriever or husky good for them. I don’t like puppy mills in my heart but I don’t judge. But as for me bruv a ratty lil mix breed rescue dog with a high pitch bark that sound like a child aggressively coughing? With them lil ass legs that allow him or her to run 700 miles per hour bruv? I love a crazy lil rescue mutt bruv he beautiful to me. But most important YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL FOR ADOPTING HIM OR HER - U A HERO. NOT A SMALL HERO BUT A BIG HERO - BLESS U - U WONDERFUL 😍❤️ [Editor’s Note: The reference to choking was made in jest and was merely intended to create literary interest. The author is from the hood. Consequently, I have built-in danger sensors. Wrap your hands around my throat and squeeze and u gon catcheth this fade. It be the petite lil joints that always wanna scrap too - don’t none of u lil grasshoppers DM me like “let me choke u zaddy ☺️” Imma leave u on ‘Seent’ ON PRINCIPLE. BLESS YA TINY LIL A$$ UP 😂😂😂]
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<p><a href="http://funnypages.tumblr.com/post/166032821633/jason-mamoas-opening-scene-in-justice-league" class="tumblr_blog">funnypages</a>:</p><blockquote> <blockquote><p>Jason Mamoa’s opening scene in <i>Justice League</i>.</p></blockquote> <p>Aquaman #14<br/></p> </blockquote> <p>Aqua man releases the power of thicc</p>: THE SEVEN SEAS REVERBERATE WITH THE SENSATIONAL NEWS F THE SEA SLEUTH'S FANTASTIC TRANSFORMATIONS BUT UNKNOWN TO THE MARITIME MARVEL A GRIM TRAP OF DOOM LURKS BEHIND.. POWERS! GREAT GUPPIES A AMAN INFLATED HIMSELF INTO A GIANT BALLOON, S HE COULD FLOAT THE DAMAGED SHIP d& TO SHORE This periodical may not be sold except by authorized dealers and is sold subject to the conditions that it shall not be sold or distributed with any part of its cover or markings removed, nor in a mutilated condition, nor affixed to, nor as part of any advertising, literary or pictorial matter whatsoever." AQUAMAN. No. 14, March-April, 1964. Published bi-monthly advertising rates address Richard A. Feldon & Co., 205 East 42nd by NATIONAL PERIODICAL PUBLICATIONS, INC., 2nd and Dickey St., New York 17,NY. Copyright 1964 by National Periodical Pub. Streets, SPARTA, ILL. Editorial, Executive offices and Subscriptions, lications, Inc. Al rights reserved under International and Pan- 575 LEXINGTON AVE., NEW YORK 22, N.Y. George Kashdan, Edi- American Copyright Conventions. Except for those who have ou for, SECOND CLASS POSTAGE PAID AT NEW YORK, N.Y. AND AT thorized use of their names, the stories, characters and incidents ADDITIONAL MAILING OFFICES under the oct of March 3, 1879 mentioned in this periodicaf are entirely imaginary and fictitious Yearly subscription in the U.S., 70c including postage. Foreign, ond no identification with actual persons, living or dead, is in $1.40 in American funds. Canada, 85c in American funds. For tended or should be inferred Printed in U.5.A <p><a href="http://funnypages.tumblr.com/post/166032821633/jason-mamoas-opening-scene-in-justice-league" class="tumblr_blog">funnypages</a>:</p><blockquote> <blockquote><p>Jason Mamoa’s opening scene in <i>Justice League</i>.</p></blockquote> <p>Aquaman #14<br/></p> </blockquote> <p>Aqua man releases the power of thicc</p>

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