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🔥 | Latest

Family, God, and Life: God created the dog and said: Sit all day by the door of your house and bark at anyone who comes in or walks past. For this, I will give you a life span of twenty years." The dog said: That's a long time to be barking. How about only ten years and I'll give you back the other ten?' So God agreed Then God created the monkey and said: Entertain people, do tricks, and make them laugh. For this I'll give you a twenty-year life span.' The monkey said: 'Monkey tricks for twenty years? That's a pretty long time to perform. How about I give you back ten like the Dog did?" And God agreed. Then God created the cow and said: You must go into the field with the farmer all day long and suffer under the sun, have calves and give milk to support the farmer's family. For this, I will give you a life span of sixty years. The cow said: That's kind of a tough life you want me to live for sixty years.. How about twenty and I'll give back the other forty? And God agreed again. Thereafter God created humans and said: Eat, sleep, play, marry and enjoy your life. For this, I'II give you twenty years." But the human said: Only twenty years? Could you possibly give me my twenty, the forty the cow gave back, the ten the monkey gave back, and the ten the dog gave back; that makes eighty, okay?' Okay, said God, 'You asked for it." So that is why for our first twenty years we eat, sleep, play and enjoy ourselves. For the next forty years we slave in the sun to support our family. For the next ten years we do monkey tricks to entertain the grandchildren.. And for the last ten years we sit on the front porch and bark at everyone. Life has now been explained to you. epicjohndoe: There, Life Has Now Been Explained To You

epicjohndoe: There, Life Has Now Been Explained To You

Beautiful, Crush, and Dank: You use the foot brake You use the engine brake You eat a Kit Kat to brake You use reverse gear to brake You crash into a car in front to brake You move to murica, shoot a machine gun and use the recoil to brake You crash into a crowd of people to brake You live in Soviet Russia where crowds of people crush into you to brake You crash into a crowd of people to brake and claim being an ISIS terrorist You crash into a crowd of people to brake and claim being an ISIS terrorist but misspell ISIS by forgetting the second "I" and thereby become an International Space Station which is orbiting earth thus braking is unnecessary You mumble while requesting a glass of juice and accidentally incinerate 6 million people. One thing leads to another and you are responsible for world war 2 Decades after your death time travel is invented and a professional assassin travels back in time in order to kill you and prevent everything you have done. On a beautiful summer day in 1932 the assassin locates you driving your mercedes througlh town and decides to take the shot. He misses the shot, killing an innocent man. A few decades later the grandson of this innocent man invents time travel in order to travel back in time and rescue his grandfather by killing the assassin who shot his grandfather while trying to kill you. Unluckily he messes up his time travel calculations and gets teleported right in front your mercedes. You crash into him and thereby brake. Hmmmmmmmmm via /r/dank_meme https://ift.tt/2NRn9Wv

Hmmmmmmmmm via /r/dank_meme https://ift.tt/2NRn9Wv

Apparently, Bad, and Books: Sierra Marie @cochinita69 My family has gifted me 3 tazers, 4 pepper sprays, 2 pocket knives, and 1 bat over the years to protect me from men that want to hurt me. But I've never heard of a man being gifted books, classes, information on how to dismantle rape culture within themselves chaoscorvid: morrivar: grimm-jimm: fourlughero: mdstroup2142: klubbhead: dangerbooze: chathurlant: cisnowflake: gender-has-failed-us: cisnowflake: celticpyro: silenceofthememes: if y'all wanna walk up to a rapist and hand him a social etiquette book be my guest but idk what y'all expect Really sick of this narrative that men are only rapists because they don’t know any better. No, RAPISTS know what consent is and they don’t care. Exactly. The overwhelming majority of men would never rape anyone. The tiny minority that would know full damn well it’s wrong, they just give a fuck because they’re scum. We don’t live in a rape culture. Some people just don’t care about what is and isn’t culturally acceptable. 31.7% of college men would rape a woman if there were no legal consequences.  31.7% is not a small minority. when some 1/3 of young men state that they would rape a woman if they knew they could get away with it, how is that not a rape culture? “The study was conducted by academics at the University of North Dakota and the North Dakota State University. Its sample size was 86 people.” Stop. 86 people isn’t even a majority of people at my high school. Fuck off. @gender-has-failed-us They’re really trying huh Also apparently a quarter of a person said yes… still trotting out stock “teach men not to rape” discourse in [current year] “86 people isn’t even a majority of people at my high school. Fuck off.” 86 people wasn’t even a majority of people in my year in high school. In 2004. We just gonna gloss over that quarter of a person bit? Yeah the math on that was definitely off, but I was more distracted by the fact the independent had the audacity to publish such a bullshit article based on the biggest joke of a “research survey” I’ve seen in a while. “We got about 25 people in fucking North Dakota to say that they might do a bad thing in a hypothetical universe where no cause and effect existed and this means that a third of male college students would rape a woman” holy shit.

chaoscorvid: morrivar: grimm-jimm: fourlughero: mdstroup2142: klubbhead: dangerbooze: chathurlant: cisnowflake: gender-has-failed...

Apparently, Books, and College: Sierra Marie @cochinita69 My family has gifted me 3 tazers, 4 pepper sprays, 2 pocket knives, and 1 bat over the years to protect me from men that want to hurt me. But I've never heard of a man being gifted books, classes, information on how to dismantle rape culture within themselves grimm-jimm: fourlughero: mdstroup2142: klubbhead: dangerbooze: chathurlant: cisnowflake: gender-has-failed-us: cisnowflake: celticpyro: silenceofthememes: if y'all wanna walk up to a rapist and hand him a social etiquette book be my guest but idk what y'all expect Really sick of this narrative that men are only rapists because they don’t know any better. No, RAPISTS know what consent is and they don’t care. Exactly. The overwhelming majority of men would never rape anyone. The tiny minority that would know full damn well it’s wrong, they just give a fuck because they’re scum. We don’t live in a rape culture. Some people just don’t care about what is and isn’t culturally acceptable. 31.7% of college men would rape a woman if there were no legal consequences.  31.7% is not a small minority. when some 1/3 of young men state that they would rape a woman if they knew they could get away with it, how is that not a rape culture? “The study was conducted by academics at the University of North Dakota and the North Dakota State University. Its sample size was 86 people.” Stop. 86 people isn’t even a majority of people at my high school. Fuck off. @gender-has-failed-us They’re really trying huh Also apparently a quarter of a person said yes… still trotting out stock “teach men not to rape” discourse in [current year]

grimm-jimm: fourlughero: mdstroup2142: klubbhead: dangerbooze: chathurlant: cisnowflake: gender-has-failed-us: cisnowflake: celt...