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4chan, Dad, and Drinking: File: 1018059 jpg (41 KB, 620x461) Anonymous 10/17/18(Wed)16:11:37 No.48748841 >be me 8 sexually and physically abused throughout my youth > messed up mental well-being > trying to live life as a regular kid > pretty intelligent for my age without being autistic > be me 12 discover 4chan; decent form of escapism life is good aside from the voices in my head and the occasional flashbacks > be me 15 > got a girlfriend, no idea how but guess i'm normal looking >finish high school; pretty common at that age here in holland >mum passes away from breast cancer > dad starts drinking >sister whomi used to depend on moves country >be me 17 > diagnosed with aspd, mdd and schizophrenia >life is pretty hard >i don't like it albeit i'm superb at acting as if there's nothing wrong > dad regularly drinks till he passes out resulting in me having to cancel plans with friends to come and pick him up > be me 18 >start lifting and getting fairly lean and big > accepted at one of the 'ivy league' university in the country > not doing good mentally, i'm an absolute mess > therapy sessions are mid, having a hard time opening up to people lifting and the banter on here are all that keeps me going > be me 20 > at a party, fucked this new girl in town >happy thoughts for the first time in weeks >come home to dad having slit his wrists on the living room couch > sister blames me for his death since i was 'supposed to stay home and watch him instead of trying to maintain a social life(?) >funeral was awful, i cried for the first time in years despite being emotionally numb >be me now, 21 >i see stuff that isn't there, meds aren't working > classes are going well but i just don't enjoy any of this >mentally numb, really fucking depressed >4chan and lifting were just forms of escapism at the end of the road, nothing else >mfw i've got everything ready to end it all and to hopefully be dead 30 minutes from now will see you guys in hell of heaven if they exist >see you space cowboy anon got last minutes
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