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Be Like, Club, and Fake: a tale of trees and espionage okay story time: my professor (lovely man, married to our TA, 52", about as So studies trees. it was about three hours into our social sciences course, last lecture before exams, everyone was frazzled and exhausted, so he told us about his most exciting/in-depth research to date to cheer us up. (the few of us who actually showed up were like ok sir im sure its fascinating but in our minds we were totally like its trees what. is. exciting. about trees. You might be wondering the same thing-the acorns? the leaves? the roots? BUT NO. IMMA FUCKIN TELL YA.) ANYWAY we settle in, he had a few pictures loaded up from his field work (we were chuckling at this point.... 'hehehe field work' i giggled to my frend. its trees.) and began to tell his tale. it's long, imma warn you, but.... god. just read it theres an species of tree called the cucumber tree(Magnolia in our region there's only-280 that are registered by the government, yadda yadda yadda, my prof thought that was tragic (i know) but also strange, because when he was writing his thesis about local trees years ago, he kept coming across cucumber trees in really random places. we're talking like etc. IMPOSSIBLE because, according to tree very strictly protected by the govenment, and thus super legai to possess, transport, collect, buy or sell any part of a living or dead member of a listed species if it originates from sources. essentially, the govt takes control over g the trees and anyone who independently raises them is breaking the law (i kno) so he'd ask people "do you have a permit for these trees?" and they were like "uh no, it's just a tree someone sold me,i think it looks nice, are you gonna arrest me?" so he'd be like nah nah nah just tell me who sold it to you" eventually, months/years later, someone did, and turns out it was like this underground sort-of illegal tree dealing club (i know). so my prof went, got a bit of funding from the government, who were getting pissed at independent cucumber tree numbers, and THIS IS WHERE IT GETS INTO THE GOOD SHIT I STS he infitrates the tree trafficking organization. he buys a cucumber tree from an independent nursery, raises it for months, ensures he gets noticed by the traffickers, and then INFILTRATES it and convinces its leader to LET HIM JOIN he has to pay like a steep entrance fee, which he does (and it blows my mind that the government of my country paid money to illegal tree dealers), but then he is given full access to records and maps because they think he's one of them, not now this part blows my mind because the tree lords don't even have to try very hard to find cucumber trees because government agents MARK THE TREES AND DISTINCTLY TAG THEM SAYING THIS IS ENDANGERED DO NOT hangs out with the members so much that he figures out their hit spots". these are where the trees are relatively secluded and unguarded. (he writes all this shit and numbers down for BUT THATS NOT ENOUGH BECAUSE THE GOVT SAYS HES WASTING THEIR FUNDING IF HE DOESNT HAVE PROOF and they are willing to take LEGAL ACTION for misuse of funding (my prof doesn't have the money nore time nor power to take them to court, which would also blow his cover). so my prof literally STAKES OUT a copse of cucumber trees at a recognized wildlife reserve for. DAYS. he camps there, and watches the trees, is about to give up, he's going off an unreliable rumor from the traffickers that a harvester would be going there within the next week. finally, this guy comes and takes the cucumber tree seeds from the CLEARLY MARKED trees by the government, and my prof takes pictures (we are shown these pictures, most of us are speechless at this point). dozens of candid shots of a man my grandpa's age with a grocery store bag, garden shears, and a ladder, clipping away the illegal seeds and then going on his way so my prof has the proof, he's been undercover for months now at this point, he writes up his report, gives it to the government who is likeoh shit", helps them draft up a new LESS COMPLETELY FUCKING OBVious way of marking e wouldn't damage them further, etc.), and then never retuns to the tree traffickers. he'd given them a fake name, address, (so that way there was a full minute of stunned silence from us students at this point, during which he grew more and more nervous (again, he's a muffin) and all of us students are just like whoa. we asked him what happened to the remaining illegal cucumber trees & if he turned the tree dealers in to the government, and that is when he smiles a little bit and shows us the last few pictures. because here's the kicker... he never turned the smugglers in. he burned all the data he collected, defied the government pressuring him to turn them in, and the only reason he's not incarcerated is because his work is so prominent in certain circles now & universities love him, that there would be an uproar if he got arrested. he's like a fucking anti-hero and then he tells us (ill never forget, it's the most inspirational green-thumb thing in the world) "it may be illegal', but those who risk their liberty to-save the world- should never be reprimanded, no matter what we are all stunned. some of us are considering dendrology as a field we'd now be interested in pursuing. he clicks his slide one final time, before we leave our last lecture and, since he had an asthma attack (lil muffin) he didn't attend our exam, so and there, on the slides, the last picture? THERE HE IS. in his own backyard. with his equally lovely TA wife. both grinning GROWN. ILLEGAL. CUCUMBER TREE 72,767 Tree espionage
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Alive, America, and Anaconda: can do it TO DO LIST corbinalexanderwealthguidance: CORBIN ALEXANDER WEALLTH GUIDANCE:  POSTED 05/06/2018 STARTING OUT FROM SCRATCH – POST #1 IN MY SERIES BUDGETING: 50/30/20/RULE: For the person already living life, this is an essential rule of thumb: -          50% to Needs:  utilities, rent, food, car insurance (never buy a car on credit/payments and be  required to pay collision coverage:  only buy a used, 3-8 years old; Honda/Kia/Toyota for the best value/bang for your buck), gas, clothes allowance, etc.  Essentials needed to live! -          20% to Savings Investment:   used to pay bank loans/student loans, monthly deposits into a retirement account and an investment account, credit card payments (pay off the entire balance each month and not just the minimum payment to avoid paying interest on interest = that’s what eats you alive causing you to NEVER pay off the balance(s)) and never buy stuff from Fingerhut/Rent-A-Center or the like…..the interest on this stuff is outrageous and you pay 3x-5x what the item is actually worth in the end – if you ever get to the end of the payments! -          30% to Wants:  vacations (limit one per year – do day trips for the other week taken on paid vacation benefits) and future “Wants” such as saving for a house:  if you need the monies in less than 5 years, then bank it – if you need the monies in over 8 years, then invest it; that is the industry rule of thumb when it comes to “Wants”. Two methods to keep you on track:  -          The spread sheet method:  this is where you track your budget in MS Excel.  -    The envelope method:  this is where you assign envelopes labeled by each expense.   EMERGECY FUND:   This where you have a bank savings account holding a minimum of six months of expenses to pay “all” your monthly bills in the event of a job lose or an illness:  you are NEVER to dip into this unless you are in a dire straight situation.   Establish this fund FIRST before all other suggestions are followed.   SAVINGS INVESTMENT:   -          Start saving for an emergency fund first. -          Do not use the Overdraft protection feature on your bank debit card = avoid getting into the habit of paying Overdraft charges over and over again!  But do have it on the account – in the event of an emergency = like your car breaks down, etc. and avoid using a credit card and carry a balance. -          Start an investment account at Ally.com/invest and invest in my Model ETF Portfolio that I’ll outline at a later date…stay tuned! -          Start investing in my ”ALL PURPOSE” Model Mutual Fund Portfolio: starting in your mid-50’s/early 60’s. -          Start investing in my designated Model Mutual Fund 80+ Portfolio in your 80’s; exact allocation percentages to also be revealed at a later date! CREDIT CARDS/BANKING MANAGEMENT:  -          Establish a credit history at 18 years old before working a full-time 9-5 or going to college:  now is the time to obtain a pre-paid debt card through Capital One.com or a similar lender.   And do not forget to get a small personal loan ($1,000.00 minimum) at a local bank using a co-signer to qualify for the loan.  As you SLOWLY establish a credit history; apply for a no-fee/low credit limit card through Discover.com and/or Capital One.com.   HAVE YOU RUN UP YOUR CREDIT CARDS TO THE MAX AND DROWNING IN DEBT OVERALL? – CONSIDER CLAIMING BANKRUPTCY AND START OVER – JUST BE CAREFUL; DON’T SCREW UP AGAIN LIKE THE LAST TIME.   -          Earn interest in an interest-bearing savings or CD account:               Not all banks are created equal; which is why most are banking wrong:                 BANK OF AMERICA:  This is a “fee city” bank.  You name it, they have a fee attached TD BANK:  This is a bank with convoluted morals.  Good luck banking in this environment; more horseshit then you can shake a stick at!    -   If your balance falls below $100.00 at TD at any given time during the month; they hit you with a $15.00 low balance fee ($180.00 a year!). You are better off going to a local bank or a federal credit union for your banking needs. BE ON THE LOOKOUT FOR MY NEXT SERIES INSTALLMENT POST ON 6/3/2018!
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Cars, Crazy, and Fucking: jerkin2urvoice "l promise l won't get too crazy tonight" 3 drinks later: Man in homemade tank destroys small town, helpless police have no way to s... prisonofteeth Okay, but Marvin Heemeyer didn't destroy his town. He specifically targeted buildings owned by corrupt politicians in his hometown, who over the course of nearly a decade, made it impossible for him to operate his muffler shop Through a zoning dispute and some shady deals, the town trustees had placed a concrete plant directly in the plot of land he used to access his muffler shop, and then fined him for having "junk cars on the property and not being hooked up to the sewer line" "On June 4, 2004, Heemeyer drove his armored bulldozer through the wall of his former business, the concrete plant, the Town Hall, the office of the local newspaper that editorialized against him, the home of a former judge's widow, and a hardware store owned by another man Heemeyer named in a lawsuit, as well as a few others. Owners of all of the buildings that were damaged had some connection to Heemeyer's disputes" Marvin didn't hurt anyone in his rampage. Witnesses recount how he went out of his way to make sure that no one was hurt. The only casualty was after he took his own life with a single gunshot after his bulldozer came to a halt. His story is a story of protest and revenge against a corrupt system that took advantage of him, prevented him from running his business, and wore him down until the bitter end. Marvin Heemeyer is a fucking hero. Too crazy (i.imgur.com)
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Butt, College, and Food: 2:14 2:13 /TooATraid TOAS u/Live lyfe_happy 2h 1.0k 60 Share May I have 41 karma points please? ki10 butt 1h Do you have a Walmart or other big grocery store near you? I could email you a gift card and you could pick out some things to help until Monday. I'm trying to post on /r/Food_Pantry or /r/Food_Bank and unfortunately you need 300+ karma points and I have 269 I just need a little bit more. I'm not sure if its a rule that you can't ask for points here, but I didn't know where else to ask for them, and this seems like the most appropriate place to ask 41 Live lyfe happy .1h Yes a walmart is down the street from us 43 Edit: I very much appreciate you all for helping me get more then what I needed to post on the subs. This really does go a long way for me. Edit 2: Holy cow, you guys are absolutely mad!!!! Some of you are going through my post history to give me a upvote I really wish I could meet all of you in person to thank you guys. I don't deserve all this kindness ki10butt 1h If you message me where you're located and some things you need, I'll order them and have them ready to be picked up at your local store ki10 butt 9m Okay, I made a Wal-mart grocery order. You'll have groceries available for pickup tomorrow (the 16th) morning by 8-9 am 60 Share x7 BEST COMMENTS ▼ Hope this helps! ki10 butt 1h I don't mean to be nosy, but do you need some help? I don't have a ton of money, but lI feel like doing something nice for a stranger today 4 11 lanynz 4m You guys are so lovely Reply 124 Live_lyfe_happy 1h Yes, my sister is currently pregnant, and ThaToastman 1h Ill do it too, I'm a broke college kid, but you need it more than me.. Add a comment The most heart warming post you’ll read all day! It brought tears to my eyes.

The most heart warming post you’ll read all day! It brought tears to my eyes.

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Amazon, Ass, and Books: Millennials Are Out- Reading Older Generations But younger Americans value library services less than more senior cohorts, study finds natural–blues: decrystallize: witchtimez: onlyblackgirl: m4ge: m4ge: m4ge: m4ge: This came up on my facebook feed and I am so excited to see how generation Xers and Baby Boomers will find a way to use this to shit on millenials anyways nice okay we’re off to a good start oh boy do i have something to tell you about millennials, working, and debt that’s gonna absolutely blow your socks off banksy’s family found this article Why old people so mad. It’s funny because millennials can pretty much multitask like it’s second nature simply because it’s necessary to keep up with society, while baby boomers whine about reading subtitles and can’t seem to program anything more complicated than a VCR. But sure, ok, the kids are lazy and have entitlement complexes Older Generations: -Make comics about kids not knowing how books work- Millenials: -Read more books than anyone else- Older Generations: …no we changed our minds reading a lot is lazy and entitled now I had a professor, way older, talk at a great length about how his generation is more well read than Millenials. When it was brought up that our generation reads more, he literally came out of nowhere with “Well, that’s not the point. See, my generation was better informed. You kids don’t know what it is to actually sit down and read for information. This generation is the least informed of any previous generation! Other generations sat and read, listened to the radio for information. There’s access, but are any of you *actually* informed? No. If I wanted to know what happened in Finland to make it a country, I would go to the library, speak to another human being, and check out books to read on the subject. We were happy to do it.” A girl a few seats behind me goes, “Bullshit. If I want to know that, I can Google that in a few seconds depending on my signal. I can youtube or Netflix a documentary on Finnish History. I can listen to podcasts made by Scandinavian historians. I can use Duolingo to get a better than basic understanding of the language, and use Amazon same-day to get a book in my hand by my last class of the day, delivered to the class. I can order Finnish food on my ubereats app, find a language partner chat app to video with people in Helsinki, use Google Earth to visit, patronise interactive museums, and stream the most popular films from the country *right now*. If I so desire I can take an opensource course from a highly accredited university about the same subject and apply to study abroad with a trusted program with the click of a button. I can use Tinder to find me someone there to get some with, I can buy plane tickets and find a top rated hotel for a good price with great reviews and stream their local radio stations with an app. I can buy train tickets, bus tickets and rent a car. We aren’t less informed. We just don’t learn things we don’t give a shit about or need just to say we did all smug about it. Stop sneering at us for the access your generation dreamed of giving us actually happening just because your old ass doesn’t know how to use it.”
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Dope, Food, and Fucking: hipsterkittypostingteenybopper Re: Purge. If everything was legal for like twenty-four hours I'd start a communal garden. This is barely even hyperbole. I would legit start a communal garden with whoever wanted to join me. I think that would be fucking dope. derinthemadscientist Rewrite of The Purge where, for 24 hours, people hurriedly complete all those renovations and projects that the council forbids. Helen, leader of the PTA, laughs maniacally as she tears grass from her lawn with a pitchfork, her thirteen- year-old daughter Emily's arms red with mud as she wades through the carnage, planting thyme. Jack and Mitch have left their friendly smiles behind at the RSL; today their faces show only grim determination as they methodically shovel gravel into potholes and pour bitumen. The local biker gang, gathered on the corner, are the most rambunctious of the mischief-makers, whooping and hollering as nail guns are driven into plywood, assembling miniature by-the-road shelters for the homeless to rest on cold nights. Their noise covers the sounds of Katy and Sam moving from street to street with their trolleys, picking up unsold or unwanted food from houses and restaurants to give to the hungry without fear of taxation or food safety reprisals. They're young, and still scared of being caught But there's no one to catch them. Not tonight dreamerinsilico ...You know you live in a dystopian capitalist hellscape when.... The Purge: Maybe we are good people
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Alive, Books, and Community: Well there's no history of trans people more than 30 years ago, maybe thats why there not in the history books lierdumoa: jenroses: leviathan-supersystem: epically-scottish-big-b: songofages: thetolerantleft: thetolerantleft: softtrade: What is a Christine Jorgensen Tfw nazis literally burnt Hirschfeld’s (sp?) papers so we wouldn’t be in the history books Like I wanna be really clear. Hirschfeld was literally moving to a depathologized explanation of trans women (inversion as variance not defect) and was advocating for providing trans women with HRT and surgery, all the while treat numerous trans women with hormones, in the early 1930s. Berlin had a thriving trans and gay community you have never heard of because the nazis destroyed it and the systematically erased evidence of it. It’s not that trans women have only existed the last thirty years, it’s that you have been intentionally denied knowledge of our history by reactionaries who want to see us dead. In 1946 renowned new zealander Harold Gilles preformed the first FtM sex reassignment surgeries.1946. A lot longer than 30 years ago.In 1951 he was able to preform the opposite, pioneering techniques for those who were transitioning from male to female.So anyone who says its only 30 years… should look to a local plastic surgeon and ask about Mr Gilles. 1812  – James Miranda Barry graduated from the Medical School of Edinburgh University as a doctor. Barry went on to serve as an army surgeon working overseas. Barry lived as a man but was found to be female-bodied upon his death in 1865. 1932  – The News of the World published a story, ‘Amazing Change of Sex’, about a trans man from Sussex who transitioned ‘from Margery to Maurice’. Colonel Sir Victor Barker DSO (1895 - 1960) married Elfrida Haward in Brighton. Barker’s birth sex (female) is later revealed and the marriage is consequently annulled…. 1936  – A 30-year-old British athletic champion, Mark Weston of Plymouth, transitioned from female to male. The story appeared in some national newspapers, including the News of the World (31 May 1936). The reportage was accurate and sensitive. In the words of L. R. Broster, the Harley Street surgeon who treated him, ‘Mark Weston, who has always been brought up as a female, is a male and should continue to live as such’. There is some debate on James Barry but I still think this is relevant. All of these taken from wikipedia timeline of LGBT history. (I had a look a few months ago out of curiosity.) also, the goddess Ishtar had trans priestesses known as the Assinnu (they castrated themselves, went by female pronouns, and wore female garb, and basically by any possible definition were trans women) and that’s WAY the fuck back in the BC’s  Like, I’m 45, and 1946 is before my parents were born. 71 years ago. That’s longer than the vast majority of the world’s population has been alive. Hirschfeld died 82 years ago. If you follow @yesterdaysprint they’ve posted scans of newspapers from the 1920s of so-called “boy flappers who call themselves girls.”  Pretty much all indigenous cultures have concepts of and language describing non-binarist gender identities and have had for eons prior to colonialism.  Elglabus, the 25th ruler of the Roman empire from the years 218-222 BCE, delighted to be called the mistress, the wife, the queen of Hierocles and “was reported to have offered vast sums of money to any physician who could equip him with female genitalia” – [wiki article w/ source links].
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Af, Apparently, and Crazy: My bros I have been doing a lot of reading about Wacky wwil Hjinks lately and I want to tel you a slory because I love it okay once upon a time there was a dude in Spain named Juan Pujol Garcia Pujol was a chicken famer. Pujol hated him some goddamn fascists See Span had recently ended its civt war, with the fascists taking power So when wwll broke out in Europe, Spain technically remained neutrail but in practice was buddy buddy with the Nazis Juan Pujol Garcia thought this was pretty bulishit so soon ater war breaks out Pujol travels to his local British embassy and goes heyI wanna spy on the Nazis for you who the fuck are you? say the Brtish, and kick him out but Pujol is not deterredl He stil wants to dunk on some fascists, so now he goes to his local Geman embassy instead. hey he says, 1 wanna spy on the Brtish for you, I sure do hate them yeah okay say the Germans that seems pretty legit and just like that Pujol now officialy warks for the Abwehr, the German intelligence agency. They hand him some spy gear (invisible Ink and such) and instruct him to travel lo Lisbon, and from there make his way into the UK So Pujol heads to Lisbon, and a ltde while later writes to his German handliers teling them he's made it to England Pujol had not made it to England. He had, in fact, made t to the Lisbon public library, where he checked out a number of English guide bocks and set about just wholesavle making smr up this is sighy complicated by he fact that, for example, he completely did not understand British currency and all his expense reports were basicaly gibberish He also reported things like brioing Scotsmen, because the people of Glasgow would do anything tor a Itre of wine (an actual quote) because, hey, people in Spain lke wine so that's probably the same nigh? Here is where it starts to get realy crazy, because the Atwehr Joves tns woW this dude is a great spy they say because apparenty none of them had ever been the England esther. In fact, they are so pumped about this new awesome spy that the British stairt to get worried you see, by this time the British had cracked German's supposedly unbreakable Enigma code and were totally dunking on the Nazis by reading basically all of ther-super top secret-radio transmissions. And, crucially, they'd become so good at breaking and reading traffic that there were iterally no German spies in England. The Germans would set up a spy drop (usually dropping duces in by parachute in the middle of the night), the Brtish would intercept the message and then just scoop the dudes up as soon as they landed in a move that must have been SUPER embarrassing to the spies so there are no Geman spies in the UK because theyre all shting in a prison run by MI5 (although some are being run under supervision as double agents, feeding Genmany builshit) But suddenly MI5 is picking up all this traffic from the Germans talking about their super great spy- a spy the Bntish do not have in their jail oh shit says MI5, and starts rereading all the transmissions they have to and from this mysterious super spy hey wait says MI5, upon actually reading the shit the spy was sending someone is playing sily buggers, pip pip cheerio At this point, Pujol sll in Lisbon, had actualily been approaching the British embassy again, repeatedly, but apparently 1 am literally an Abwehr agent and would like to offer you my services wasn't interesting enough, because he was repeatedly turned away, again it want until MIS started asking around that one of the embassy staf was like oh yeah we know that guy so in 1942 the British finally make contact with Pujol and he officially becomes a spy for Mi5. They move him to London and assign him a case oicer so he can start making up even better bulshit and he does. Once actually in London, Pujol reports to the Abwehr that he d recruited a whole slew of informants from a bunch of Welsh Aryans to disaffected army officers. He ends up wih a network of 20+ sub-spies, all feeding him information from around the U none of mese people actualy exist Pujol just straight up invented like 20 people, keeping careful track of their fake personalties, names, and actvities with the hep of Mi5, the information he sends becomes even better- a mix of true but ultimately useless facis and actualy important intel tmed to artve in Germany just sightly too late to be af any use. He and his "spy network become the Abwehr's most trusted agents Pujol, now codenamed Agent Garbo (for his acting skils), ends up playing a huge role in the run-up to D-Day, where the Alies mounted a huge intellgenoe campaign to convince Htler that the planned sile of attack was going to be Calais and not Normandy (this was Operation Fortitude and you should absolulely look t up lor more Wacky WWll Adventures) Obviously you know how this ended crazly enough, the Abwenr never figured out that Pujol was a double agent After the war he recelved both the Iron Cross Second Class (which require personal authorization from Hitier), and a Member of the Order of the Brtish Empire (from King George Vi unable to resist being rotaly fucking ndiculous, Pujol tumed down MI5's post-war offer to continue spying, but this time against he USSR TO, he said just help me fake my own death and then I'm moving to Venezuela and thats exacly what he ad Juan Garcia Pujol died in 1988, at the age of 76 Okay I'm just editing my reblog to add this picture of Juan Pujol Garcia because I feel that t adds so much to the story to picture him doing ALL THE ABOVE with this expression: what a legend Juan Pujol Garcia:The first shitposter
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